The orc player stares at me with wide-open eyes after my introduction. They’re filled with fear. He then punches his face to snap out of it.
“I… I won’t fall for any more of your tricks, damn Mad Rat!” He points at me with his giant battleaxe as he shouts. “You’ll see, this time I’ll be the one to beat you! I’ll give back all the humiliation I’ve suffered a thousand times!”
Immediately after, he launches his axe in my direction. Well, not the axe itself but a phantasmal version of it.
Shit, I didn’t expect this! It’s too fast! The only thing I can do is…
I activate Rat Transformation and turn into a rat. I quickly run behind the closest machine before returning to my original shape.
The orc follows up by running to where I was standing a moment ago. But when he sees nothing, he starts shouting again.
“Where did you go!? Coward, come back here!”
Hahaha, so pathetic! It was all so fast and there’s so much clutter everywhere inside the laboratory that I’m sure he thinks I dropped to the ground to avoid the attack. I’m sure he mistook the transformation effects for it.
“Fufufu! Hahaha!” I pop out in front of him, laughing. “Did you think it’d be so easy? Nah, it can’t be. After all, you’re my esteemed guest. You should know by now that it’s useless to resist.”
“Uaaaah!” He runs at me one more time. “You made a huge mistake coming back! I’ll make you regret it! Huh, huh, huh!”
Unperturbed, I wait for him to come closer, a smile on my face.
He flinches. He didn’t expect me to stand still. But he continues running anyway. “Come on, brothers! It’s time to take our revenge! Huh, huh, huh!” He raises his axe overhead and slashes at me.
Right at this moment, I stomp on the ground to activate the springtrap I’m standing on. I don’t resist as it launches me high up in the air. I avoid his attack and end up on top of the metal platform.
Hahaha! He fell for it. To think my plan would work this well… he’s too easy to predict.
I send him a mocking smile as I observe his incredulous expression from above. I rest my elbow on the railing and my chin on my hand. “Tsk, tsk, tsk… When did I say I was the one who’d be playing with you? I don’t remember it… Fufufu! Hahaha!”
“Come back, you fucker!” He explodes in anger, launching the same attack as before. But this time, a barrier appears in front of my face, preventing all the damage.
I knew this would happen, so I preemptively created an invisible barrier all over the platform to prevent attacks. The only hole is the one I used to come inside, but since the springtrap has been used already, he can’t hope to reach me anymore.
Seeing as the first attack did nothing to me, he launches a second. And a third.
“Hahaha, don’t you get tired of wasting your time?”
I smile at him. Then I quickly change the mood by spreading open my arms and returning to the reason I’m here.
“But my purpose isn’t to play with you, it’s to watch you playing with my new monsters, you know? Fufufu! Hahaha! The audience is waiting anxiously… Oh, I almost forgot! The audience!”
I make an exaggerated gesture as I press a button behind me. There’s a sound of something moving on the ceiling, and several Stitched drop from above onto the platform that surrounds the whole room. They’re in the same one as I am, which is about four meters higher than the floor, but none of them are close to me for ‘comfort’ reasons.
They’re too ugly.
Upon realizing the change, the orc starts looking around. He’s searching for an exit, but there’s none. Both the entrance door and the exit one will be closed until I or my two surprises die.
“Ladieeeees and gentlemaaaan! And various abominations too. I welcome you to the 5th edition of the Mad Rat’s Show. Today, we have our most esteemed guest, sir ImAnOrc with us! Let’s give him a big round of applause, please!”
At my orders, the surrounding Stitched start to clumsily smack their hands together. Does it sound like applause? Hell no. But visually, it doesn’t look too different.
“N-no. I’m tired of this! Why’s it always me!?”
“Let’s ignore his complaints for now. So, as I was saying, we have a big surprise for you today, dear viewers!”
“Don’t ignore me and come back here, you coward. What is it? Are you afraid of my strength?”
I thought he would start attacking my two new monsters as soon as I got out of his reach, but I was wrong. Since I used the springtrap, he has been only looking at me. My two hunters are still waiting, unperturbed, right next to the door.
Well, who cares about his actions? As long as I enjoy myself, nobody cares about his mental health.
“What’s that surprise, you ask? It’s the introduction of the security forces! Don’t you like them a lot? Hahaha!”
“Wooow, amazing!”
“Finally, I’ve been waiting for them to appear!”
“Quickly. Tell us what skills they have.”
I change the tone and pitch of my voice as if there were multiple people in the audience. At the same time, the orc finally turns to look at the two monsters near the door. He watches them with a cautious look on his face.
Is he afraid of them? Don’t know, don’t care. No, it’s better if he is. This way I can enjoy this a lot more.
“Yes, yes. I know.” I nod while making a smug smile. “I know you’re all excited about them. So, without further delay, let’s watch them in action. Subject number one, please, make a step forward and face the intruder.”
The orc gives me the middle finger, thinking I’m talking to him. But I’m not, I’m talking to the first hunter.
Let’s taunt him a little bit more. “Why are you looking at me like that? Didn’t you always complain that there’s not a single enemy you can have a ‘fair fight’ against in this ‘damned dungeon’?”
“That’s because it’s true!”
“Hahaha! Can you see how happy our esteemed guest is? See how excited he is, that his whole body is trembling? I’m sure he can’t wait anymore. Subject number one, go! It’s your time to shine! Ding, ding, ding!”
After giving the signal, I make a bell sound and the hunter makes a step forward. The orc player will be the first player to have a taste of my latest creation.
I called it The Mountain.
Why? It’s because it has all the traits mountains have. They’re resilient, immovable, and if you punch them you’re usually the one who gets hurt. The Mountain has everything a mountain has, except for its size.
…yes, the monster is pretty short.
But what did you want me to do about it? The Mountain uses a dwarf body as its base, and dwarves are short. More importantly, dwarves like to live in the mountains. I couldn’t not make The Mountain look like a dwarf.
The orc observes The Mountain as it walks forward. To get ready for combat he kisses his biceps, then punches himself in the face.
Hahaha! How many times has it been already? It’s funny to see him so lost that he has to smack himself to recover.
“All right, come here. I’m fine with this.” He sounds confident, but his legs are shaking. “Let’s see what you’re made of.”
The dwarf takes another step forward. Its beard, made of branches and leaves, shakes as if it were alive. Which it is. All its body is made of vegetation. It has the shape of a dwarf, but it’s made out of leaves, roots, bark, and vines. It kind of reminds me of my sister’s champion, but less disgusting. A lot less disgusting.
Ah, it’s also purple. The leaves, vines, etc are all different shades of purple.
Alright, you got me. The Mountain looks weird. But it’s because I wanted to make it clear which units I used to create it. It might be difficult to know where the purple color comes from, but the other two are pretty much self-explanatory: a dwarf and a dryad.
To be more precise, the three units used are the Artificer, a dwarf that costs 180 cp; the Dryad, the standard frontline unit from the elf faction, which costs 200 cp; and the Allurer, one of the demons with the deadly sin skills, which costs 310 cp.
Its innate skills are as follows.
| Stoneskin (Innate passive skill) |
| Reduce all damage received by 15%. |
| Take Root (Innate active skill) |
| Cost: - |
| You take root. While rooted, you can’t be moved by any effect and the EP and MP cost of all attacks and skills is reduced by 20%. |
| Lust (Innate triggered skill) |
| When a unit that can see you deals damage to you, it takes (5 * level) psychic damage. This damage isn’t increased or reduced by having higher or lower stats. |
I’m sure you already know about Stoneskin. Take Root is simple to understand: it comes from a tree-like creature, so… it takes root and uses the nutrients in the ground to power its attacks.
As for the last one…
…the demons of lust make you so horny that you take mental damage every time you attack the ‘object of your desire’?
I know I know… it is weird.
But regardless, one thing is for granted: this skill is nasty. It’s a skill worthy of the demons.
The demons are filled with skills that, the first time you read them make you think ‘Is that all?’. But then, when you face them in a real battle, your previous thought turns into ‘Oh, shit. I wished I had paid more attention to the skill’s description’.
I dare you to come and apply a DoT effect on The Mountain. Come on, don’t be shy! Feel free to join the orc in his despairing session.
Anyway, I’m derailing too much.
The important part is that The Mountain is resilient, immovable, and if you punch it you take damage; as I promised you at the beginning of my rambling.
“Uaaaah! Eat this!”
After his shout, the orc engages The Mountain in melee combat. He swings his giant axe at the same time my minion spreads out a vine. The vine tries to entangle the orc, but he blocks it with the wide section of the axe’s blade and strikes back.
“Is this all you’ve got? Huh, huh, huh!”
They start exchanging blows. Or should I say the orc starts beating my poor minion without it having a chance to strike back?
“He’s good… though not as good as my sister.” I calmly observe the fight with a smile on my face. It’s a shame he didn’t notice yet. Let’s make sure he does. “Hey, orc! Why are you so carefree? Fufufu!”
“Are you scared now? Huh, huh, huh! I suppose you’d be after watching me beat your pathetic monster like this!”
“Hmm, no, it’s just…” I feign being concerned about his safety. “...I think you should take a look at your status screen… just in case? You know, to check everything’s alright.”
The orc takes some distance and opens his status screen. At least, this is what it seems he’s doing. I can’t say for sure because it’s something only he can see.
Some players don’t like to have the HP, EP, and MP bars on the corner of their eyes all the time, so they remove them. I must agree it helps improve the immersion, but then you might lose track of important stuff. Stuff like…
“Aaagh! Why is my HP so low!? I avoided all the attacks, I should be at full HP! What did you do, Mad Rat!? No, it’s my fault… You never play fair, why did I expect you to play fair today?”
…stuff like that.
His attacks aren’t weak but The Mountain is too resilient, and every attack he lands makes him take some damage. Against the Lust skill, the best are single, strong attacks instead of quick, melee ones.
Though I won’t put up with his bullshit.
“Lies? Dirty play? I swear, I didn’t do anything. Dear viewers, I’m sure you know, but what he’s saying is a lie.” Indeed, I didn’t do anything. Not yet, at least. “Tsk, tsk, tsk! But since you’re blaming me for not playing fair, let’s make it true.”
Don’t blame me for what’s to happen, it’s your fault.
“Subject number two, please, step forward and join the battle. It’s time to show our esteemed guest what ‘unfair’ play means. Fufufu! Hahaha!”
Following my orders, the second hunter takes its first step forward since he came inside the room.
“Go, my dear experimental subjects! Go and crush this ungrateful invader, who has the unique and incredible opportunity to act as your first opponent, the might of your two powers combined! Fufufu! Hahaha!”
“I never asked you to do this! Fuck you, Mad Rat. Brothers, to arms! Let’s crush him today. Today’s the day we reclaim our lost honor and push our worst enemy into the grave he dug for himself. Huh, huh, huh!”
Dig my own grave? What’s he talking about? The only one who’s going to die is you.
As I laugh, in my usual epic laughing pose, I start channeling electricity and sneakily put my hand near the hole in the barrier. I’ll strike when he least expects it.
He said I wasn’t playing fair. Let’s make it true, shall we?
Fufufu! Hahaha!
‘The Mad Rat’s Show’ was the name Andreu used every time he decided to do something crazy and stream it to the viewers in real time. Although he wasn’t the only ‘guest’ invited to the show, the orc player was indeed the one who made the most appearances other than the host, the Mad Rat himself.
‘The Mad Rat’s Show’ was also the first TV show to achieve a 100% audience ever… if you only take into account a certain group of fanatical people, of course.
The orc player stares at me with wide-open eyes after my introduction. They’re filled with fear. He then punches his face to snap out of it.
“I… I won’t fall for any more of your tricks, damn Mad Rat!” He points at me with his giant battleaxe as he shouts. “You’ll see, this time I’ll be the one to beat you! I’ll give back all the humiliation I’ve suffered a thousand times!”
Immediately after, he launches his axe in my direction. Well, not the axe itself but a phantasmal version of it.
Shit, I didn’t expect this! It’s too fast! The only thing I can do is…
I activate Rat Transformation and turn into a rat. I quickly run behind the closest machine before returning to my original shape.
The orc follows up by running to where I was standing a moment ago. But when he sees nothing, he starts shouting again.
“Where did you go!? Coward, come back here!”
Hahaha, so pathetic! It was all so fast and there’s so much clutter everywhere inside the laboratory that I’m sure he thinks I dropped to the ground to avoid the attack. I’m sure he mistook the transformation effects for it.
“Fufufu! Hahaha!” I pop out in front of him, laughing. “Did you think it’d be so easy? Nah, it can’t be. After all, you’re my esteemed guest. You should know by now that it’s useless to resist.”
“Uaaaah!” He runs at me one more time. “You made a huge mistake coming back! I’ll make you regret it! Huh, huh, huh!”
Unperturbed, I wait for him to come closer, a smile on my face.
He flinches. He didn’t expect me to stand still. But he continues running anyway. “Come on, brothers! It’s time to take our revenge! Huh, huh, huh!” He raises his axe overhead and slashes at me.
Right at this moment, I stomp on the ground to activate the springtrap I’m standing on. I don’t resist as it launches me high up in the air. I avoid his attack and end up on top of the metal platform.
Hahaha! He fell for it. To think my plan would work this well… he’s too easy to predict.
I send him a mocking smile as I observe his incredulous expression from above. I rest my elbow on the railing and my chin on my hand. “Tsk, tsk, tsk… When did I say I was the one who’d be playing with you? I don’t remember it… Fufufu! Hahaha!”
“Come back, you fucker!” He explodes in anger, launching the same attack as before. But this time, a barrier appears in front of my face, preventing all the damage.
I knew this would happen, so I preemptively created an invisible barrier all over the platform to prevent attacks. The only hole is the one I used to come inside, but since the springtrap has been used already, he can’t hope to reach me anymore.
Seeing as the first attack did nothing to me, he launches a second. And a third.
“Hahaha, don’t you get tired of wasting your time?”
I smile at him. Then I quickly change the mood by spreading open my arms and returning to the reason I’m here.
“But my purpose isn’t to play with you, it’s to watch you playing with my new monsters, you know? Fufufu! Hahaha! The audience is waiting anxiously… Oh, I almost forgot! The audience!”
I make an exaggerated gesture as I press a button behind me. There’s a sound of something moving on the ceiling, and several Stitched drop from above onto the platform that surrounds the whole room. They’re in the same one as I am, which is about four meters higher than the floor, but none of them are close to me for ‘comfort’ reasons.
They’re too ugly.
Upon realizing the change, the orc starts looking around. He’s searching for an exit, but there’s none. Both the entrance door and the exit one will be closed until I or my two surprises die.
“Ladieeeees and gentlemaaaan! And various abominations too. I welcome you to the 5th edition of the Mad Rat’s Show. Today, we have our most esteemed guest, sir ImAnOrc with us! Let’s give him a big round of applause, please!”
At my orders, the surrounding Stitched start to clumsily smack their hands together. Does it sound like applause? Hell no. But visually, it doesn’t look too different.
“N-no. I’m tired of this! Why’s it always me!?”
“Let’s ignore his complaints for now. So, as I was saying, we have a big surprise for you today, dear viewers!”
“Don’t ignore me and come back here, you coward. What is it? Are you afraid of my strength?”
I thought he would start attacking my two new monsters as soon as I got out of his reach, but I was wrong. Since I used the springtrap, he has been only looking at me. My two hunters are still waiting, unperturbed, right next to the door.
Well, who cares about his actions? As long as I enjoy myself, nobody cares about his mental health.
“What’s that surprise, you ask? It’s the introduction of the security forces! Don’t you like them a lot? Hahaha!”
“Wooow, amazing!”
“Finally, I’ve been waiting for them to appear!”
“Quickly. Tell us what skills they have.”
I change the tone and pitch of my voice as if there were multiple people in the audience. At the same time, the orc finally turns to look at the two monsters near the door. He watches them with a cautious look on his face.
Is he afraid of them? Don’t know, don’t care. No, it’s better if he is. This way I can enjoy this a lot more.
“Yes, yes. I know.” I nod while making a smug smile. “I know you’re all excited about them. So, without further delay, let’s watch them in action. Subject number one, please, make a step forward and face the intruder.”
The orc gives me the middle finger, thinking I’m talking to him. But I’m not, I’m talking to the first hunter.
Let’s taunt him a little bit more. “Why are you looking at me like that? Didn’t you always complain that there’s not a single enemy you can have a ‘fair fight’ against in this ‘damned dungeon’?”
“That’s because it’s true!”
“Hahaha! Can you see how happy our esteemed guest is? See how excited he is, that his whole body is trembling? I’m sure he can’t wait anymore. Subject number one, go! It’s your time to shine! Ding, ding, ding!”
After giving the signal, I make a bell sound and the hunter makes a step forward. The orc player will be the first player to have a taste of my latest creation.
I called it The Mountain.
Why? It’s because it has all the traits mountains have. They’re resilient, immovable, and if you punch them you’re usually the one who gets hurt. The Mountain has everything a mountain has, except for its size.
…yes, the monster is pretty short.
But what did you want me to do about it? The Mountain uses a dwarf body as its base, and dwarves are short. More importantly, dwarves like to live in the mountains. I couldn’t not make The Mountain look like a dwarf.
The orc observes The Mountain as it walks forward. To get ready for combat he kisses his biceps, then punches himself in the face.
Hahaha! How many times has it been already? It’s funny to see him so lost that he has to smack himself to recover.
“All right, come here. I’m fine with this.” He sounds confident, but his legs are shaking. “Let’s see what you’re made of.”
The dwarf takes another step forward. Its beard, made of branches and leaves, shakes as if it were alive. Which it is. All its body is made of vegetation. It has the shape of a dwarf, but it’s made out of leaves, roots, bark, and vines. It kind of reminds me of my sister’s champion, but less disgusting. A lot less disgusting.
Ah, it’s also purple. The leaves, vines, etc are all different shades of purple.
Alright, you got me. The Mountain looks weird. But it’s because I wanted to make it clear which units I used to create it. It might be difficult to know where the purple color comes from, but the other two are pretty much self-explanatory: a dwarf and a dryad.
To be more precise, the three units used are the Artificer, a dwarf that costs 180 cp; the Dryad, the standard frontline unit from the elf faction, which costs 200 cp; and the Allurer, one of the demons with the deadly sin skills, which costs 310 cp.
Its innate skills are as follows.
| Stoneskin (Innate passive skill) |
| Reduce all damage received by 15%. |
| Take Root (Innate active skill) |
| Cost: - |
| You take root. While rooted, you can’t be moved by any effect and the EP and MP cost of all attacks and skills is reduced by 20%. |
| Lust (Innate triggered skill) |
| When a unit that can see you deals damage to you, it takes (5 * level) psychic damage. This damage isn’t increased or reduced by having higher or lower stats. |
I’m sure you already know about Stoneskin. Take Root is simple to understand: it comes from a tree-like creature, so… it takes root and uses the nutrients in the ground to power its attacks.
As for the last one…
…the demons of lust make you so horny that you take mental damage every time you attack the ‘object of your desire’?
I know I know… it is weird.
But regardless, one thing is for granted: this skill is nasty. It’s a skill worthy of the demons.
The demons are filled with skills that, the first time you read them make you think ‘Is that all?’. But then, when you face them in a real battle, your previous thought turns into ‘Oh, shit. I wished I had paid more attention to the skill’s description’.
I dare you to come and apply a DoT effect on The Mountain. Come on, don’t be shy! Feel free to join the orc in his despairing session.
Anyway, I’m derailing too much.
The important part is that The Mountain is resilient, immovable, and if you punch it you take damage; as I promised you at the beginning of my rambling.
“Uaaaah! Eat this!”
After his shout, the orc engages The Mountain in melee combat. He swings his giant axe at the same time my minion spreads out a vine. The vine tries to entangle the orc, but he blocks it with the wide section of the axe’s blade and strikes back.
“Is this all you’ve got? Huh, huh, huh!”
They start exchanging blows. Or should I say the orc starts beating my poor minion without it having a chance to strike back?
“He’s good… though not as good as my sister.” I calmly observe the fight with a smile on my face. It’s a shame he didn’t notice yet. Let’s make sure he does. “Hey, orc! Why are you so carefree? Fufufu!”
“Are you scared now? Huh, huh, huh! I suppose you’d be after watching me beat your pathetic monster like this!”
“Hmm, no, it’s just…” I feign being concerned about his safety. “...I think you should take a look at your status screen… just in case? You know, to check everything’s alright.”
The orc takes some distance and opens his status screen. At least, this is what it seems he’s doing. I can’t say for sure because it’s something only he can see.
Some players don’t like to have the HP, EP, and MP bars on the corner of their eyes all the time, so they remove them. I must agree it helps improve the immersion, but then you might lose track of important stuff. Stuff like…
“Aaagh! Why is my HP so low!? I avoided all the attacks, I should be at full HP! What did you do, Mad Rat!? No, it’s my fault… You never play fair, why did I expect you to play fair today?”
…stuff like that.
His attacks aren’t weak but The Mountain is too resilient, and every attack he lands makes him take some damage. Against the Lust skill, the best are single, strong attacks instead of quick, melee ones.
Though I won’t put up with his bullshit.
“Lies? Dirty play? I swear, I didn’t do anything. Dear viewers, I’m sure you know, but what he’s saying is a lie.” Indeed, I didn’t do anything. Not yet, at least. “Tsk, tsk, tsk! But since you’re blaming me for not playing fair, let’s make it true.”
Don’t blame me for what’s to happen, it’s your fault.
“Subject number two, please, step forward and join the battle. It’s time to show our esteemed guest what ‘unfair’ play means. Fufufu! Hahaha!”
Following my orders, the second hunter takes its first step forward since he came inside the room.
“Go, my dear experimental subjects! Go and crush this ungrateful invader, who has the unique and incredible opportunity to act as your first opponent, the might of your two powers combined! Fufufu! Hahaha!”
“I never asked you to do this! Fuck you, Mad Rat. Brothers, to arms! Let’s crush him today. Today’s the day we reclaim our lost honor and push our worst enemy into the grave he dug for himself. Huh, huh, huh!”
Dig my own grave? What’s he talking about? The only one who’s going to die is you.
As I laugh, in my usual epic laughing pose, I start channeling electricity and sneakily put my hand near the hole in the barrier. I’ll strike when he least expects it.
He said I wasn’t playing fair. Let’s make it true, shall we?
Fufufu! Hahaha!
‘The Mad Rat’s Show’ was the name Andreu used every time he decided to do something crazy and stream it to the viewers in real time. Although he wasn’t the only ‘guest’ invited to the show, the orc player was indeed the one who made the most appearances other than the host, the Mad Rat himself.
‘The Mad Rat’s Show’ was also the first TV show to achieve a 100% audience ever… if you only take into account a certain group of fanatical people, of course.
