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Published at 5th of May 2023 07:11:26 AM


Chapter 76

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Chapter 76

Her spiraling thoughts spilled out like opening a wardrobe full of clothes. Or rather, the things that were constantly running through her head flooded out like water bursting from a sluice gate at the sight of Tidwell.

She stared blankly at the man who got up like a child caught doing something bad before running to her.

When meeting someone, she usually looked at their face first, but this time she looked at something else because she had lost her composure.

The waistcoat made his chest appear more toned. It didn’t feel strange at all when the crazy thought of wanting to hug him suddenly entered her mind.

Her thoughts regarding the man in front of her were anything but rational.

The way he walked straight was very pretty, and she found it amusing how he kept his noble facade by slightly lowering his head.

It did seem nice to be lying on the same bed as him and cuddling with him.

The sound of the approaching footsteps was neat, and the scent of magnolia was as soothing as a snowy winter morning.

Ravia stood motionless on the doorstep as her mind raced with pleasant thoughts.

But she was so caught up in her thoughts that she wanted to go to Tidwell’s room, despite the fact that he was right in front of her.

“Have you returned, Sister? What brought you all the way to my room?”

Ravia wondered why Tidwell would ask that knowing exactly where she was standing. So she finally looked around.

It wasn’t until she smelled the scent of magnolia that she truly realized where she was.

Ah.

“…I must’ve gone the wrong way.”

“But the path only goes in two directions… are you really lost?”

“Yes. I got lost. You can get lost even in a two-pronged way.”

And she was the proof of it.

Unless she was lost, she wouldn’t be able to come to him rashly and defenselessly.

But it also meant that her deepest, subconscious feelings emerged when she was in disarray.

They said it was faster to find something with your eyes covered. When you lose your rationality in trying to find your way, your body will gravitate toward familiarity.

Same goes with the heart.

When you’re drowning in an endless swamp, you’re bound to look for the place where your heart is the happiest.

She would have made an excuse if she had taken the wrong path somewhere else. There was no excuse for getting lost on the way to her own room, so Ravia realized that she had been mindlessly chasing after Tidwell’s shadow.

And she had been thinking about Tidwell until now.

The explanation was lengthy, but it could all be summed up in one word.

Love.

It would have been a complete disaster had she been in her right mind.

After all, Tidwell was just an object to relieve her loneliness.

An impostor who strangled her by her neck as he casually whispered sweet love to her.

A hypocrite who hid numerous daggers beneath his sweet endearments for her.

Ravia couldn’t despise Tidwell’s hypocrisy because she knew his dagger would not stab her in the chest.

But it didn’t erase the fact that Ravia was always afraid of Tidwell’s dagger.

Just as Herod said about love. Love was a fleeting emotion that you shouldn’t stake your life on.

Nevertheless, when Tidwell looked at her with ‘those eyes,’ she felt as if no waves could ever wash over her.

Ravia must make him kneel at her feet. And then she’d have him in her grasp. That’s the only way he could be valuable to her.

It was, as usual, an affection for selfish reasons.

Ravia had never failed to carry out her plan, despite feeling a little guilty for betraying his affection.

She knew how Tidwell would look at her when she told her father about Amnesia, which would get him kicked out.

I’m so scared that your dagger might stab me.…That was what she thought.

Until she heard from Rette that she was currently standing at the crossroad. Rette’s words seemed to bring her to the height of her anxiety.

Ravia was the most self-centered person in the world yet was considering risking her life.

In disbelief, she tried to swallow that fact.

I was considering it. I dared to weigh my life and freedom on a scale. That was unthinkable a month ago, no, a few weeks ago.

Obviously, my life was something I wouldn’t trade for anything, but the fact that I was deliberating on it was shocking. How can I not laugh at myself?

I certainly thought that I had your love. But now I love you without knowing if you love me back.

Your arms, steps, hair and scent. Even your bare face which I rarely see.

I came to love them.

I couldn’t deny it any longer.

I would rather that you were really just a means to relieve my loneliness.

Although it has only begun to fulfill my purpose, human relationships are more fickle than putting wine in a cellar.

Ravia’s gaze was drawn to Tidwell. His innocent and tender smile looked so lovely to her.

I was sick of it.

I hated it, but I wanted to caress you again and again.

I was out of my mind.

Ravia forced her gaze away from Tidwell and entered the room. You won’t get a normal answer if you ask a madwoman a question.

Ravia decided to follow her impulse.

Shortly after the door closed behind her, Tidwell followed her and asked.

“You said you were lost, but why aren’t you returning to your room?”

“Are you asking because your room is too small to hide a lost woman?”

“I dare to ask because I expected you would have a different reason.”

Ravia came to a halt in front of the desk because of Tidwell’s words. Her fingers began to fumble on the edge of the desk, and she asked without looking back.

“Different reason?

“Maybe you missed me?”

“You have a fantastic imagination.”

“I won’t deny it, but I’m not completely clueless either. I’m guessing you got lost and didn’t want to return after seeing my face.”

“It’ll be difficult to avoid disappointment if you don’t expect the worst.”

“If it’s about putting up with bad thoughts, I was seduced by a woman last night.”

Tidwell gently put his hand on Ravia’s shoulder. Like winding a clock, he turned her around, facing her with a faint smile as if he hadn’t lied about keeping his patience.

“I’m a man of perseverance. So, unless someone is purposely trampling on me, I can overcome even my most intense desire. But there are people who make me lose patience at times.”

Ravia raised one eyebrow cynically.

“So, you want to blame that person?”

“It’s my fault that I couldn’t hold back my desire, so how can I blame that person? Unless….”

Tidwell laughed lightly.

“I was wondering if you’re willing to take full responsibility whenever I’m about to sleep, knowing well what happens when my desire explodes.”

“At the very least, that doesn’t mean I have to take responsibility every time we see each other, right?”

“Ah, I didn’t catch what you meant. It would have been beneficial to us if we had written and notarized a contract. Or…at the very least, you shouldn’t look at me as if you were asking for a hug.”

His voice was low and hoarse. Half-whispering, half suppressing his urge.

At the same time, Ravia’s half-turned body returned to its original position in an instant.

Like a broken clock hand, Ravia lost her balance and staggered, trapped in Tidwell’s arms. The arms that looked toned at first glance were actually much firmer than she imagined them to be.

Tidwell met her gaze at a distance where there would be no room for their upper bodies to collide if someone took a wrong step.

His expression, as he constantly faced Ravia with affection, remained the same. If there was something a little different, his brows frowned differently from the usual.

Sister.

A word that was hard to squeeze out, so he bit his lips.

“Don’t deny me.”

It might have been a plea or a threat.

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