"What's wrong with Space Captain?" Yvian gestured down at her favorite outfit. Captain Mims had given it to her when they visited a resort on Krog Prime. It was all of one piece, baring her arms, legs, and back. The crimson material emphasized the pale blue of her skin and resonated with the violet in her eyes. SPACE CAPTAIN was emblazoned upon it in gold letters, under a picture of the man himself, blaster raised to the sky.
They were on the bridge of the Random Encounter. The ship was running on autopilot, on course for Tenril Station in Oluken space. Lissa had insisted they all meet a few hours before docking to make sure they were dressed appropriately and prepared for the ordeal ahead.
"Space Captain is substandard," Kilroy told her. Yvian shot him a look, but let the comment pass. She'd had that argument with him too many times, already. The Peacekeeper's suit looked different somehow, but she couldn't put her finger on what that difference was. The unit was also carrying a small briefcase.
There was another Peacekeeper unit next to Kilroy. He had introduced himself as Ambassador Zarkon, but hadn't said much else. He mostly seemed content to watch.
"There's nothing wrong with Space Captain," Lissa assured her, "but a swimsuit is not formal attire." Her sister was wearing a long white coat, clasped closed with silver buckles. Her hair was an emerald cascade, layered on top and held in place with silver pins before flowing down her back like a waterfall.
"It's not?" Yvian looked down at herself again. The swimsuit was by far the fanciest piece of clothing she owned. She loved it more than cake. Almost as much as beer. It was far and away more attractive than anything pixen outfits had to offer.
"No," the word came out half giggle. Lissa gave up trying to stifle her laugh. "No it isn't."
"It's a human outfit," Mims cut in. He shifted awkwardly, not comfortable in the clothes Lissa had convinced him to don. The clothes consisted of a bow tie, white cuffs on his wrists, and a pair of disturbingly tight black shorts. Black socks and shiny black shoes completed the ensemble. "We wear them exclusively for informal occasions. Vacations and the like."
"But it looks so good, though." Yvian frowned. She'd really been looking forward to wearing it.
"And if we were going on vacation, I'd love to see you in it." Mims told her. Lissa flashed him a look. He quickly continued, "But we're going to sign a trade deal with the Oluken. We need some kind of formal wear."
"Ok, but..." Yvian's frown deepened. Most of the original Pixen Technocracy's history and traditions had been erased when it was conquered by the Confederation. "Pixen formal wear? What would that even look like?"
"Like this." Lissa grinned. She unbuckled her longcoat and let it fall. She wore a form fitting dress that went up to her neck, but left her arms bare. It was black as the void. No, Yvian realized. It was the void. Pinpricks of light shimmered in its depths. Stars. In the center of the dress, just above Lissa's heart, a circle of fire blazed. A circle of fire Yvian recognized. She'd seen it from the viewports of her ship. The dress was not a mere embroidery, or a static picture. It was a video, a view of the Homestar as seen from space.
"Bright Lady..." Yvian breathed. It was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever seen, and she'd seen a lot.
"Right?" Lissa grinned. "Kilroy made it for me." She gave a little spin. The dress swirled, the flared edges drifting back down slowly as if they were in a low gravity setting. The dress revealed most of the pixen's back. The Captain stared appreciatively.
"The Pixen Technocracy does not currently have formal attire," Kilroy flashed the white light of pride. "What we choose today will have a lasting impact on Pixen traditions. Peacekeeper units are superior in fashion as we are superior in all other ways. It was natural and appropriate that this unit provide assistance."
"Does that mean you're responsible for..." the Captain grimaced as he gestured at himself. "This, as well?"
"Affirmative." Kilroy shifted to yellow. "The business suit is a staple of human formal wear."
"This isn't a suit, Kilroy," the human growled. "This is a bow tie and short shorts."
"Affirmative."
The human's scowl deepened. "I look like I'm going to give someone a lap dance."
"Affirmative." Kilroy's eyes glowed brighter. So did Zarkon's. If they'd been organic, Yvian suspected they would be laughing uncontrollably. "This unit updated the suit to reflect pixen sensibilities."
Yvian tried not to giggle. She really did. The Captain's glare fell upon her, and her attempt failed utterly. She laughed so hard she almost fell down.
Lissa's face scrunched as she simultaneously tried to frown at Yvian and avoid laughing herself. "Don't listen to her, Mark." She managed to get her face mostly under control, but her lip still twitched. "You look delicious."
Mims let out a sigh that was almost a growl. Yvian laughed harder. How did Lissa even convince the man to wear that stuff? He looked ridiculous.
The human's eyes narrowed. He turned to Kilroy. "You know," he said, suddenly calm, "I think we're doing the men of Pixa a disservice."
"Most pixen males would be overjoyed to receive the outfit you are wearing," the Peacekeeper argued.
"Maybe," Mims allowed. He pointed at Lissa. "But look at her. She looks amazing."
"Ah, thanks Mark." Lissa smiled, flushing a darker shade of blue.
"She looks like someone who should be taken seriously," the human continued. "My outfit doesn't convey that impression." He took a breath, then continued. "If pixens want to dress sexy in a casual setting, that's fine, but in the arena of diplomacy we need something a little classier."
The humans embarrassment receded somewhat as he spoke. Oddly, returning to his normal posture made the outfit look even stupider on him. Yvian attempted to rein in her laughter as she wondered why. The outfit was actually fairly modest by pixen standards. To really match the sensibilities of her people, it should be a speedo and a bowtie instead of shorts. So why did it look so ridiculous? Was it because he was human? Was it the pale, pink skin? The abundance of black body hair?
No. The answer, she realized, was in his bearing. Pixen males were trained at a young age to carry themselves with a certain swagger. They were taught to project confidence, to move and speak as if the whole verse would stop and stare at them. They looked good and they knew it, and they expected you to know it, too. The average pixen male would fit the Captain's ensemble like a glove.
Mims did not move with a swagger. Mims moved like a knife in the dark. He was coiled violence and cold, liquid grace. The stripper sexpot look wasn't just inappropriate. It was borderline sacrilegious. Like putting a Peacekeeper unit in a frilly pink dress. Or a Vrrl, maybe. How The Crunch did anyone even convince him to wear the thing?
"Do you have a better..." Lissa had to stop talking. Her lips pressed firmly together as she got herself back under control. "Do you have a better suggestion, Mark?"
"I do," the Captain spoke with firmness. "A suit. A superior suit. One that radiates authority and danger and power. A suit..." He pointed at Kilroy. "Just like that one."
The Peacekeeper unit tilted his head. "This unit knows it is being played."
"And?"
A flash of white light. "And you are correct. Peacekeeper attire is superior. This unit will provide you with something similar."
"Thank you." The human gave a serious nod. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go change." He grimaced at Lissa. "I can't believe you talked me into wearing this thing."
"I'm hard to resist." She smiled at him. She checked a nearby console. "You know, we've still got three hours. Why don't we meet in my quarters, first." The smile turned lecherous. "It's a nice look. I want to enjoy it a little longer."
"Oh, right." Mims rubbed the back of his neck. "That's how you convinced me..."
Lissa grinned harder. They walked off the bridge, hand in hand. Yvian sent a silent prayer of thanks to the Bright Lady that all their quarters were soundproofed.
Kilroy stepped forward, holding his briefcase out to Yvian. "Here, take this. It contains appropriate attire."
"Thank you," said Yvian. She set it on the table that housed the holodisplay and opened it. She pulled out a dress of silky, sky blue material.
"Try it on," said Zarkon.
Yvian eyed the Peacekeepers, then shrugged. Pixens weren't terribly concerned about nudity. She wouldn't disrobe in front of the Captain, but that was more down to her sister's jealous tendencies than anything else. She wasn't worried about the Peacekeepers ogling her. They weren't interested in the anatomy of meatbags.
She stripped out of her swimsuit and donned the dress. As it slipped over her shoulders, she heard a light hum. The hum ceased, and the dress changed. Yvian looked down at herself, but couldn't quite make out what she was seeing.
Kilroy removed the briefcase from the holodisplay. His fingers flew over a console. A hologram of Yvian appeared over the table. She peered at it, and her breath caught.
The dress was similar to Lissa's in style and shape. Where Lissa's dress had shown the Homestar from the void, Yvian's displayed New Pixa. City 43 lay nestled in it's valley at Yvian's waist. The great Spire stretched into a blue sky, reaching up to the left of her heart. Over her heart, the light of the Homestar shined, a glowing disk of yellow. Wisps of fluffy cloud drifted lazily below the star, moving gently, carried by a breeze she could not see.
"It's..." Yvian swallowed. "This is amazing."
"Affirmative," said Kilroy.
"Peacekeeper units are superior in fashion," added Zarkon.
Yvian scratched her head, looking at the two Peacekeepers. "Are you sure you can manufacture a suit in three hours?"
Both of them flashed yellow light from their eyes. "This unit has already manufactured the suit," Kilroy informed her.
"We are Peacekeeper units," Ambassador Zarkon reminded Yvian. "We are usually several steps ahead of you meatbags."
Yvian nodded, then frowned. "If you already made a Peacekeeper suit, then why..."
The yellow light of laughter flashed again. "It was Lissa Kiver's idea," said Zarkon. "We found it amusing."
"This unit enjoys the human's discomfort," Kilroy agreed.
"What's wrong with Space Captain?" Yvian gestured down at her favorite outfit. Captain Mims had given it to her when they visited a resort on Krog Prime. It was all of one piece, baring her arms, legs, and back. The crimson material emphasized the pale blue of her skin and resonated with the violet in her eyes. SPACE CAPTAIN was emblazoned upon it in gold letters, under a picture of the man himself, blaster raised to the sky.
They were on the bridge of the Random Encounter. The ship was running on autopilot, on course for Tenril Station in Oluken space. Lissa had insisted they all meet a few hours before docking to make sure they were dressed appropriately and prepared for the ordeal ahead.
"Space Captain is substandard," Kilroy told her. Yvian shot him a look, but let the comment pass. She'd had that argument with him too many times, already. The Peacekeeper's suit looked different somehow, but she couldn't put her finger on what that difference was. The unit was also carrying a small briefcase.
There was another Peacekeeper unit next to Kilroy. He had introduced himself as Ambassador Zarkon, but hadn't said much else. He mostly seemed content to watch.
"There's nothing wrong with Space Captain," Lissa assured her, "but a swimsuit is not formal attire." Her sister was wearing a long white coat, clasped closed with silver buckles. Her hair was an emerald cascade, layered on top and held in place with silver pins before flowing down her back like a waterfall.
"It's not?" Yvian looked down at herself again. The swimsuit was by far the fanciest piece of clothing she owned. She loved it more than cake. Almost as much as beer. It was far and away more attractive than anything pixen outfits had to offer.
"No," the word came out half giggle. Lissa gave up trying to stifle her laugh. "No it isn't."
"It's a human outfit," Mims cut in. He shifted awkwardly, not comfortable in the clothes Lissa had convinced him to don. The clothes consisted of a bow tie, white cuffs on his wrists, and a pair of disturbingly tight black shorts. Black socks and shiny black shoes completed the ensemble. "We wear them exclusively for informal occasions. Vacations and the like."
"But it looks so good, though." Yvian frowned. She'd really been looking forward to wearing it.
"And if we were going on vacation, I'd love to see you in it." Mims told her. Lissa flashed him a look. He quickly continued, "But we're going to sign a trade deal with the Oluken. We need some kind of formal wear."
"Ok, but..." Yvian's frown deepened. Most of the original Pixen Technocracy's history and traditions had been erased when it was conquered by the Confederation. "Pixen formal wear? What would that even look like?"
"Like this." Lissa grinned. She unbuckled her longcoat and let it fall. She wore a form fitting dress that went up to her neck, but left her arms bare. It was black as the void. No, Yvian realized. It was the void. Pinpricks of light shimmered in its depths. Stars. In the center of the dress, just above Lissa's heart, a circle of fire blazed. A circle of fire Yvian recognized. She'd seen it from the viewports of her ship. The dress was not a mere embroidery, or a static picture. It was a video, a view of the Homestar as seen from space.
"Bright Lady..." Yvian breathed. It was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever seen, and she'd seen a lot.
"Right?" Lissa grinned. "Kilroy made it for me." She gave a little spin. The dress swirled, the flared edges drifting back down slowly as if they were in a low gravity setting. The dress revealed most of the pixen's back. The Captain stared appreciatively.
"The Pixen Technocracy does not currently have formal attire," Kilroy flashed the white light of pride. "What we choose today will have a lasting impact on Pixen traditions. Peacekeeper units are superior in fashion as we are superior in all other ways. It was natural and appropriate that this unit provide assistance."
"Does that mean you're responsible for..." the Captain grimaced as he gestured at himself. "This, as well?"
"Affirmative." Kilroy shifted to yellow. "The business suit is a staple of human formal wear."
"This isn't a suit, Kilroy," the human growled. "This is a bow tie and short shorts."
"Affirmative."
The human's scowl deepened. "I look like I'm going to give someone a lap dance."
"Affirmative." Kilroy's eyes glowed brighter. So did Zarkon's. If they'd been organic, Yvian suspected they would be laughing uncontrollably. "This unit updated the suit to reflect pixen sensibilities."
Yvian tried not to giggle. She really did. The Captain's glare fell upon her, and her attempt failed utterly. She laughed so hard she almost fell down.
Lissa's face scrunched as she simultaneously tried to frown at Yvian and avoid laughing herself. "Don't listen to her, Mark." She managed to get her face mostly under control, but her lip still twitched. "You look delicious."
Mims let out a sigh that was almost a growl. Yvian laughed harder. How did Lissa even convince the man to wear that stuff? He looked ridiculous.
The human's eyes narrowed. He turned to Kilroy. "You know," he said, suddenly calm, "I think we're doing the men of Pixa a disservice."
"Most pixen males would be overjoyed to receive the outfit you are wearing," the Peacekeeper argued.
"Maybe," Mims allowed. He pointed at Lissa. "But look at her. She looks amazing."
"Ah, thanks Mark." Lissa smiled, flushing a darker shade of blue.
"She looks like someone who should be taken seriously," the human continued. "My outfit doesn't convey that impression." He took a breath, then continued. "If pixens want to dress sexy in a casual setting, that's fine, but in the arena of diplomacy we need something a little classier."
The humans embarrassment receded somewhat as he spoke. Oddly, returning to his normal posture made the outfit look even stupider on him. Yvian attempted to rein in her laughter as she wondered why. The outfit was actually fairly modest by pixen standards. To really match the sensibilities of her people, it should be a speedo and a bowtie instead of shorts. So why did it look so ridiculous? Was it because he was human? Was it the pale, pink skin? The abundance of black body hair?
No. The answer, she realized, was in his bearing. Pixen males were trained at a young age to carry themselves with a certain swagger. They were taught to project confidence, to move and speak as if the whole verse would stop and stare at them. They looked good and they knew it, and they expected you to know it, too. The average pixen male would fit the Captain's ensemble like a glove.
Mims did not move with a swagger. Mims moved like a knife in the dark. He was coiled violence and cold, liquid grace. The stripper sexpot look wasn't just inappropriate. It was borderline sacrilegious. Like putting a Peacekeeper unit in a frilly pink dress. Or a Vrrl, maybe. How The Crunch did anyone even convince him to wear the thing?
"Do you have a better..." Lissa had to stop talking. Her lips pressed firmly together as she got herself back under control. "Do you have a better suggestion, Mark?"
"I do," the Captain spoke with firmness. "A suit. A superior suit. One that radiates authority and danger and power. A suit..." He pointed at Kilroy. "Just like that one."
The Peacekeeper unit tilted his head. "This unit knows it is being played."
"And?"
A flash of white light. "And you are correct. Peacekeeper attire is superior. This unit will provide you with something similar."
"Thank you." The human gave a serious nod. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go change." He grimaced at Lissa. "I can't believe you talked me into wearing this thing."
"I'm hard to resist." She smiled at him. She checked a nearby console. "You know, we've still got three hours. Why don't we meet in my quarters, first." The smile turned lecherous. "It's a nice look. I want to enjoy it a little longer."
"Oh, right." Mims rubbed the back of his neck. "That's how you convinced me..."
Lissa grinned harder. They walked off the bridge, hand in hand. Yvian sent a silent prayer of thanks to the Bright Lady that all their quarters were soundproofed.
Kilroy stepped forward, holding his briefcase out to Yvian. "Here, take this. It contains appropriate attire."
"Thank you," said Yvian. She set it on the table that housed the holodisplay and opened it. She pulled out a dress of silky, sky blue material.
"Try it on," said Zarkon.
Yvian eyed the Peacekeepers, then shrugged. Pixens weren't terribly concerned about nudity. She wouldn't disrobe in front of the Captain, but that was more down to her sister's jealous tendencies than anything else. She wasn't worried about the Peacekeepers ogling her. They weren't interested in the anatomy of meatbags.
She stripped out of her swimsuit and donned the dress. As it slipped over her shoulders, she heard a light hum. The hum ceased, and the dress changed. Yvian looked down at herself, but couldn't quite make out what she was seeing.
Kilroy removed the briefcase from the holodisplay. His fingers flew over a console. A hologram of Yvian appeared over the table. She peered at it, and her breath caught.
The dress was similar to Lissa's in style and shape. Where Lissa's dress had shown the Homestar from the void, Yvian's displayed New Pixa. City 43 lay nestled in it's valley at Yvian's waist. The great Spire stretched into a blue sky, reaching up to the left of her heart. Over her heart, the light of the Homestar shined, a glowing disk of yellow. Wisps of fluffy cloud drifted lazily below the star, moving gently, carried by a breeze she could not see.
"It's..." Yvian swallowed. "This is amazing."
"Affirmative," said Kilroy.
"Peacekeeper units are superior in fashion," added Zarkon.
Yvian scratched her head, looking at the two Peacekeepers. "Are you sure you can manufacture a suit in three hours?"
Both of them flashed yellow light from their eyes. "This unit has already manufactured the suit," Kilroy informed her.
"We are Peacekeeper units," Ambassador Zarkon reminded Yvian. "We are usually several steps ahead of you meatbags."
Yvian nodded, then frowned. "If you already made a Peacekeeper suit, then why..."
The yellow light of laughter flashed again. "It was Lissa Kiver's idea," said Zarkon. "We found it amusing."
"This unit enjoys the human's discomfort," Kilroy agreed.
