[2009 – September]
It was a cold Monday night as I stood on the roof of a high-rise building, beneath me the busy streets of New York. I didn't care about that though as my gaze rested in the distance.
My eyes burned with white flames as I watched a grey-haired old man walk down the streets, calling out for his nephew every now and then.
Ben Parker was a good man, no matter by which standard you judged him. Hard-working, caring, and responsible, he was an ordinary human but the strict moral code he lived by was undeniably worthy of respect.
He would never knowingly harm an innocent person and wouldn't hesitate to risk his safety for the protection of one. He had taken in his brother's son without complaint and had raised him with all the love and care he was capable of, being a father for Peter on all accounts that mattered.
His life should be one that was worth protecting, he should be someone that was worth saving, no matter how one looked at it.
But as a sudden cold breeze made my dark hair flutter, I looked on calmly as I saw him bump into a blonde-haired robber, a handgun falling on the pavement as a result of their sudden collision.
I watched them wrestle for the gun. And I watched as Ben Parker lost the conflict, a shot going off, the bullet tearing through his body and sealing his fate. Only moments later, Peter arrived by his uncle's side.
I saw him shout and cry, hoping that someone would come to his aid, that someone would save the man that had raised him. But it was a futile hope, that shattered quickly when his Ben Parker stopped breathing, his injuries too severe to hold on long enough for even the ambulance to reach him.
I could have saved him. A flip of my hand would have been enough to conjure a barrier that would have shielded Ben Parker from being shot, or healed him after being injured.
And yet, I looked on with serenity, white flames burning in my eyes, while his life faded.
It wasn't that I didn't think that life was precious and worth preserving but that didn't mean I was going to go out of my way to save people.
I simply valued life differently. I wouldn't go around killing innocent people but at the same time, I had no intention to save them either.
In the first place, even if I was willing to save someone, why would I choose Ben Parker to be my target? Because I knew about his impending death? Because he was Peter's uncle? What made him more deserving of my help than others?
With how big this city was, not to mention this whole planet, chances were that a child was being abused and a woman was being violated in this city at the same time as Ben Parker was shot, and most likely more than just one or two.
I definitely had the power to search for those other people in need, so what made Ben Parker's life more worth saving than other people's?
If I judged myself based on the morals and worldviews of others, I would condemn myself no matter who I saved. In the end, there was no 'right' choice.
Was not doing anything and not saving anyone even worse? Maybe. Maybe not.
Good or bad, virtuous or evil. These were very subjective terms and in most cases as the world wasn't so simple that things could be judged so easily.
I valued life, and while I did so in a way that most would probably not understand, there was something more important to be remembered, which was the fact that death was equally as important.
Ben Parker's death wasn't meaningless. His passing was what would make Peter the man he was supposed to be, his death was the spark that would lead to the 'creation' of Spider-Man.
With his death, Ben Parker's 'cycle' came to end while at the same time he was in a way just part of Peter's 'cycle'.
Peter had just gained great power and while it seemed that it had come at no cost, everything had its price. In a way, his uncle's death could be considered the price that Peter had to pay to be extraordinary, to even the scales, so to speak.
It might seem like a tragedy but I could see a sense of harmony behind the happenings surrounding Peter as if there were forces at work that were trying to make sure that his 'cycle' was balanced.
Every action had its consequences even if they were sometimes hard to understand.
Ben had decided to wrestle with a potentially dangerous man for his gun, while Peter had not wanted to bother to help the small shop owner in catching the thief because he had been annoyed by the other party's pedantic behaviour.
Had either of them acted even a little differently, Ben Parker would not have died.
Decisions and consequences, it was a fool's dream to escape the latter after having made the former. Acknowledging this and living with the consequences of one's own actions, this was responsibility.
Still, I was sympathetic to Peter's pain and grief. I knew it wasn't my fault and it wasn't my responsibility to save Ben Parker but that didn't mean that I was blind to Peter's loss.
Sighing quietly, I closed my eyes, the faint white glowing in them fading as I did so. Turning my face upwards, I just focused on the cold night air that caressed my face.
I wasn't really sure how long I stood there in silence, just listening to the city.
I had chosen my path but when all was said and done it wasn't an easy thing to do, to watch someone die. But as I had made my choice to not save him, the least I could do was come and see for myself the consequences of my decision, no matter how 'unpleasant'.
If I couldn't even do that, then I had no right to even walk this path in the first place.
“Hu hu?”, Arya hooted softly and I could feel her rub her little head against my neck, affection and dependence making the mental bond between us hum.
Opening my eyes and raising my hand, I brushed over her wing and chest as I sent back my affection through the bond.
“It's fine, little one. Some things are not supposed to be easy.”, I whispered
…
Summoning a barrier around myself, I returned back to the Hellion Mansion sometime later, appearing in the entranceway of Jean's and mine living quarters.
Hanging my jacket on the coat rack and taking off my shoes, I silently moved into the living room and saw Jean already asleep on the sofa, a book laying next to her while the lights were dimmed.
I realized that she had waited for me to come home but had fallen asleep midway.
Smiling faintly, a soft light shining in my eyes, I approached the couch and picked her up gently before carrying her to the bedroom and placing her down on the bed, tucking her under the covers.
Grabbing a sleepy Arya, I helped her into her tiny birdhouse which stood on top of the drawers in the bedroom, caressing her wings and brushing over her head while she had trouble keeping her eyes open any longer.
Moving to the other side of the bedroom, I stripped off my jeans and button-down shirt as well as my socks, after which I grabbed a random shirt from the staple in the closet and put it on, before walking back to the bed and slipping under the covers.
Gently pulling Jean into my embrace, her back pressing against my chest, I inhaled her wonderful scent, a hint of fire tickling my nose. Feeling her warmth through my body and her presence with my mind, I felt at peace.
I naturally noticed that she had woken up from her light sleep while I had carried her to the bedroom, but she didn't say anything.
Her hand moving atop mine which rested on her stomach, she just entwined our fingers while her legs shifted a bit, as she entangled them with mine.
"I love you, Firefly.", I voiced out softly, as I moved even closer, pressing my chest to her back, my arm around her waist tightening ever so slightly.
“I know.”, she said, her voice a soft whisper, overflowing with tenderness, “And I love you, Elijah.”
[2009 – September]
It was a cold Monday night as I stood on the roof of a high-rise building, beneath me the busy streets of New York. I didn't care about that though as my gaze rested in the distance.
My eyes burned with white flames as I watched a grey-haired old man walk down the streets, calling out for his nephew every now and then.
Ben Parker was a good man, no matter by which standard you judged him. Hard-working, caring, and responsible, he was an ordinary human but the strict moral code he lived by was undeniably worthy of respect.
He would never knowingly harm an innocent person and wouldn't hesitate to risk his safety for the protection of one. He had taken in his brother's son without complaint and had raised him with all the love and care he was capable of, being a father for Peter on all accounts that mattered.
His life should be one that was worth protecting, he should be someone that was worth saving, no matter how one looked at it.
But as a sudden cold breeze made my dark hair flutter, I looked on calmly as I saw him bump into a blonde-haired robber, a handgun falling on the pavement as a result of their sudden collision.
I watched them wrestle for the gun. And I watched as Ben Parker lost the conflict, a shot going off, the bullet tearing through his body and sealing his fate. Only moments later, Peter arrived by his uncle's side.
I saw him shout and cry, hoping that someone would come to his aid, that someone would save the man that had raised him. But it was a futile hope, that shattered quickly when his Ben Parker stopped breathing, his injuries too severe to hold on long enough for even the ambulance to reach him.
I could have saved him. A flip of my hand would have been enough to conjure a barrier that would have shielded Ben Parker from being shot, or healed him after being injured.
And yet, I looked on with serenity, white flames burning in my eyes, while his life faded.
It wasn't that I didn't think that life was precious and worth preserving but that didn't mean I was going to go out of my way to save people.
I simply valued life differently. I wouldn't go around killing innocent people but at the same time, I had no intention to save them either.
In the first place, even if I was willing to save someone, why would I choose Ben Parker to be my target? Because I knew about his impending death? Because he was Peter's uncle? What made him more deserving of my help than others?
With how big this city was, not to mention this whole planet, chances were that a child was being abused and a woman was being violated in this city at the same time as Ben Parker was shot, and most likely more than just one or two.
I definitely had the power to search for those other people in need, so what made Ben Parker's life more worth saving than other people's?
If I judged myself based on the morals and worldviews of others, I would condemn myself no matter who I saved. In the end, there was no 'right' choice.
Was not doing anything and not saving anyone even worse? Maybe. Maybe not.
Good or bad, virtuous or evil. These were very subjective terms and in most cases as the world wasn't so simple that things could be judged so easily.
I valued life, and while I did so in a way that most would probably not understand, there was something more important to be remembered, which was the fact that death was equally as important.
Ben Parker's death wasn't meaningless. His passing was what would make Peter the man he was supposed to be, his death was the spark that would lead to the 'creation' of Spider-Man.
With his death, Ben Parker's 'cycle' came to end while at the same time he was in a way just part of Peter's 'cycle'.
Peter had just gained great power and while it seemed that it had come at no cost, everything had its price. In a way, his uncle's death could be considered the price that Peter had to pay to be extraordinary, to even the scales, so to speak.
It might seem like a tragedy but I could see a sense of harmony behind the happenings surrounding Peter as if there were forces at work that were trying to make sure that his 'cycle' was balanced.
Every action had its consequences even if they were sometimes hard to understand.
Ben had decided to wrestle with a potentially dangerous man for his gun, while Peter had not wanted to bother to help the small shop owner in catching the thief because he had been annoyed by the other party's pedantic behaviour.
Had either of them acted even a little differently, Ben Parker would not have died.
Decisions and consequences, it was a fool's dream to escape the latter after having made the former. Acknowledging this and living with the consequences of one's own actions, this was responsibility.
Still, I was sympathetic to Peter's pain and grief. I knew it wasn't my fault and it wasn't my responsibility to save Ben Parker but that didn't mean that I was blind to Peter's loss.
Sighing quietly, I closed my eyes, the faint white glowing in them fading as I did so. Turning my face upwards, I just focused on the cold night air that caressed my face.
I wasn't really sure how long I stood there in silence, just listening to the city.
I had chosen my path but when all was said and done it wasn't an easy thing to do, to watch someone die. But as I had made my choice to not save him, the least I could do was come and see for myself the consequences of my decision, no matter how 'unpleasant'.
If I couldn't even do that, then I had no right to even walk this path in the first place.
“Hu hu?”, Arya hooted softly and I could feel her rub her little head against my neck, affection and dependence making the mental bond between us hum.
Opening my eyes and raising my hand, I brushed over her wing and chest as I sent back my affection through the bond.
“It's fine, little one. Some things are not supposed to be easy.”, I whispered
…
Summoning a barrier around myself, I returned back to the Hellion Mansion sometime later, appearing in the entranceway of Jean's and mine living quarters.
Hanging my jacket on the coat rack and taking off my shoes, I silently moved into the living room and saw Jean already asleep on the sofa, a book laying next to her while the lights were dimmed.
I realized that she had waited for me to come home but had fallen asleep midway.
Smiling faintly, a soft light shining in my eyes, I approached the couch and picked her up gently before carrying her to the bedroom and placing her down on the bed, tucking her under the covers.
Grabbing a sleepy Arya, I helped her into her tiny birdhouse which stood on top of the drawers in the bedroom, caressing her wings and brushing over her head while she had trouble keeping her eyes open any longer.
Moving to the other side of the bedroom, I stripped off my jeans and button-down shirt as well as my socks, after which I grabbed a random shirt from the staple in the closet and put it on, before walking back to the bed and slipping under the covers.
Gently pulling Jean into my embrace, her back pressing against my chest, I inhaled her wonderful scent, a hint of fire tickling my nose. Feeling her warmth through my body and her presence with my mind, I felt at peace.
I naturally noticed that she had woken up from her light sleep while I had carried her to the bedroom, but she didn't say anything.
Her hand moving atop mine which rested on her stomach, she just entwined our fingers while her legs shifted a bit, as she entangled them with mine.
"I love you, Firefly.", I voiced out softly, as I moved even closer, pressing my chest to her back, my arm around her waist tightening ever so slightly.
“I know.”, she said, her voice a soft whisper, overflowing with tenderness, “And I love you, Elijah.”
