In celebration of passing 200k published words recently, we have two more art surprises in the glossary tonight!
(Okay, I lie, I would have posted the new art regardless)
Alizz badly, badly felt like she needed to take a break. The rate of revelations-per-minute the dungeon master had been intent on feeding them seemed sure to overwhelm her ability to process through them, but they were already halfway through the avatar spell's one-hour time limit and Xenia had insisted on getting through as much as possible before it ran out. The curses. The fact that Worthy Dungeon was capable of essentially eating an ancient Dragonlord dungeon over time. The interesting little tidbit about how the dungeon spirit was hundreds of years old and had the experience of lifetimes of adventuring. Everything the woman said just kept stacking and stacking, leading to a single inescapable conclusion.
Worthy Dungeon had the potential to be the most dangerous dungeon that had ever existed.
Yet the drider was still having trouble classifying the woman as a threat, given that she had gone through all this trouble to ask for Alizz's help. After all, that was the point of all this, wasn't it? If the world outside knew of everything the dungeon could do, voices would be calling for the dungeon's destruction, and all of Xenia's potential didn't mean anything if the army decided to march fifty men down here tomorrow and 'settle' matters. Xenia's threat level was, in a way, her greatest weakness. But what could Alizz do about any of this?
Which was, incidentally, exactly the question Xenia was finally getting to. "So! Now that you've got all that, the big question is...how can I sell the public on how fuckin' weird I am, without provoking anyone into having the place condemned?"
Alizz sighs, rubbing her head with both hands. "...Okay, please just...give me a minute? This is far outside anything I've ever had to consider before."
The dungeon master nods. "Fair enough, we've got...Guy? Ah, twenty-eight minutes left. Though if we need to go into overtime with Lollyp or Sincere translating, we'll do what we gotta do." As Alizz thinks, the black-and-white woman begins biting into an apple, before suddenly shouting out another statement. "Oough! Ah, sorry, excuse me. Also wanted to bring up and ask one other thing, too. How much do you know about divine favors and dungeons? We got one of those yesterday and I'm not sure what we oughtta do with it yet."
As Alizz's eyes go wide, Kelsey shouts out a response for her. "WHAT? On top of all this other cloud-brained, hole-winged, singed-tail crazy bullshit you just told us about, you got a godsdamned DIVINE FAVOR?" Unable to control himself, the kobold gets up from his seat and begins marching and cursing around the open meadow, while Xenia just awkwardly smirks in response.
"Ah...yup! Got it for killin' this dude here, thanks again Sincere. So, big deal then, I take it."
Deciding to focus on one issue at a time, Alizz considers what she knows about divine favors. "Okay, right. In a way, they're sort of like having a deity...sponsor a dungeon, you could say. Dungeons are generally non-denominational, Challengers can prove themselves to all sorts of deities through their efforts in them. Accepting a divine favor doesn't change that, but it does give you something of a reputation boost with that specific church. Challengers who follow that god are more likely to come, and the theory is that it's easier to become a Champion or Paragon through success in that dungeon, if you're one of its patron's followers. Some dungeons have been blessed by multiple gods, even, though it's rather rare. I'd say in general perhaps a quarter of dungeons are known to have divine favor, generally ones on the older side of things, only a very few have patronage of multiple deities, or multiple favors at all for that matter."
Xenia's mood improves as Alizz speaks. "A reputation boost, eh? That really sounds like something I could use. Any gods worth getting in good with?"
As a thought strikes Alizz, her eyes widen again. "Oh! That's - that's exactly what you need! A cover! Divine patronage could be used to explain matters like your bosses reincarnating!"
Sincere nods along. "Now that is an excellent idea. I believe then we should seek the favor of Destus, the God of Death."
At that suggestion though Alizz only shakes her head. "No, you've got it backwards. Life and death is a cycle, you die, you're reborn, you die again and so on. Destus handles the death side of matters. For reincarnation you want Kahlia."
Lollyp scoffs at the name. "Alizz, that's the Goddess of Fertility. You know Kahlia doesn't do anything with dungeons!"
The drider chews her lip for a moment, then shakes her head. "Not dungeons, no, but she does take an active role in the world. Her Paragons are famous, in fact I'd say hers are historically in perhaps the top ten in terms of how many of them she's had over the years. Do you have some way of knowing if you'd be able to seek her favor?"
Xenia turns to her side. "Well, let's see. Guy, is Kahlia in our contact list?" She waits a moment, then raises her eyebrow before turning back. "Apparently she is. Sounds too like this list is only the guys and girls who've agreed to be on it, since there seems to be some gaps."
"Not surprising. There's considered to be a hundred and thirteen known deities, but over half of them haven't been known to take an active role in the world of any sort in centuries. Others tend to be quite narrow in scope, only making themselves known in very specific circumstances."
"So..." Xenia rests her elbows on the table and taps her fingers in thought. "We can use this, right? We make a deal with Kahlia for...fuck, anything really, we slap up a sign out front that says 'Worthy Dungeon, brought to you by the Goddess of Fertility!'. Then you put out a story saying the reincarnations are part of our divine patronage, with, I dunno, whatever fake restrictions we want to put on it so dudes aren't just offing themselves in here every other day. Claim it only works once every six months on a full moon or some shit."
Growing angry, Sely slams her fist on the table. "Hold on, now! You're talking about - about using a goddess to sell a cover story? Do you have any idea what you're sitting on here? Half the continent would give their right eye for a promise of divine favor!"
"No, no, you're right." Xenia raises her hands in half-surrender. "Trust me, I do not need to get on any more gods' bad sides. If there's a way, I'll try and make sure this isn't an issue with them. But of course, the reincarnations would be just a cover, so...what would a Goddess of Fertility have to offer a dungeon, that I could ask for?"
Alizz closes her eyes. "Let me think...sometimes, a blessing comes in the form of a divine servant, who typically serves as a floor boss, although rarely they serve other purposes, like setting up a sort of pilgrimage destination within the dungeon. These are beings who typically can only be approximated at best by dungeons normally - angels, legendary warriors from past ages, unique monsters, powerful spirits of nature and that sort of thing. Kahlia's champions are, well...typically men and women who have had a great deal of children. It could be that one of them was also a great warrior who's currently residing in her plane of heaven, but I really have no idea."
Sincere's brow furrows in thought. "Kahlia is also known for working closely with several other deities and sharing projects with them. For example, the blessing of Taina, the Goddess of Love, which several centuries ago allowed the mortal races to intermix was largely possible through Kahlia's assistance. The fertility of plants also falls within her domain, and she's often associated with Palain, God of the Harvest."
Xenia considers what that might mean. "So it's possible that we could, what, use our favor to get her to call in a favor and get us some really sweet fruits? Or a Champion of Love? Actually, that last one does sound kind of tempting."
Taly giggles. "Would be a little more complicated than just cashing in your favor with them directly, but it gets Kahlia's name on the place I guess. Or maybe you could get them to agree to a joint project. If this is like a negotiation or something, which I guess is a little presumptuous. Anyone know how it actually works?" She looks around, but even Sincere and Alizz have no confirmations or denials to offer.
The table sits in silence for a moment, other than Kelsey's continued grumbling as he returns to his seat, and eventually Xenia taps her hands on the table. "Alright, so here's the plan then. I ask Kahlia for a divine favor - a Champion or a pilgrimage site or something if it's a non-negotiable thing, otherwise we'll see what we can get. You guys help put out the word that the reincarnations and our rapid expansion are the result of divine favor, and not because of Dragonlord shit or the place being cursed. We set up some kind of limitation on who gets to sign up for an eternity in here, and then...we're good? Dungeon gets to stay open for business, no one's gotta get core-cracking-happy?"
The Divine Masochist again narrows her eyes at the dungeon master. "This sounds like a pretty good deal for you, but why should we do any of that? You're asking us to lie for you - not just to the government, but to our own Challengers! The Association works with friendly dungeons, sometimes, but we don't frigging conspire with them!"
To answer that charge, Lollyp begins counting off on her fingers. "Hey, you get lots of benefits! For one, there still gets to be a dungeon here which is good business for everyone, except the idiot Initiates, but that's like, true of most dungeons anyhow. Second, whatever limits we put on it, if we publicize the reincarnation thing someone's gonna be getting to use it eventually, which is a good deal for them. Third, whatever divine favor we end up getting is bound to be good for Challengers almost no matter what it actually is."
Xenia nods along before grinning. "Also, I ain't above straight-up bribery. If you all want the occasional freebie dungeon gear, coins, box of slime lube, whatever, I don't particularly mind."
The field agent's face winces at the suggestion. "I don't think we need to be that crass. I think I'd rather ask that you perhaps stop killing so many Challengers, if I'm going to be honest. Especially if we're letting you keep that damned luck curse close to your chest, which honestly doesn't sit quite right with me."
Xenia bites back an immediate response before pausing in thought. "Eh...one minute, please." The dungeon master leans over towards her slime boss, and the two converse for a while before Xenia turns back to the group. "So, for the record, totally get where you're coming from on that. On the other hand, I definitely don't want to get a reputation for both being really special and being really soft. I also don't want to let somebody breeze through my first couple floors only to find out too late they've got devious motives on my pearl, you know? So, how's this for an offer." She begins to count off on her own fingers as she continues.
"One, this deal don't cover the military squads. They're digging into my shit and I ain't gonna do them any favors. Two, this only covers the first three floors. Anyone who can get that far doesn't need a handicap. Three, if someone does some really stupid shit like trigger a Challenge Mode or walk in here buck-ass naked, I'm not taking responsibility for what happens."
Alizz half-nods at the demands. "That seems reasonable enough, but what's the actual offer?"
"Floor One, BB will only maim, not kill. Legs, hands, eyes, that sort of thing. Floor Two, Lollyp here can go lethal, but only up to a quarter the party size. Floor Three, the ghost armors get another quarter quota. Also, importantly, you don't tell this shit to the Challengers so folks don't try and exploit it."
Alizz's wincing doesn't much subside at the deal's details. "I hate the idea of negotiating over how many of our people can be killed...but then, it's not as if we usually get to negotiate at all. I suppose I can accept this offer, provisionally, although of course we'll need to know what your divine favor actually is before we can arrange matters."
"True enough. I don't know how long it might take to set up, so...wanna swing by again in two days and see what's up?"
The drider nods. "That's fine. I do want to actually get our dungeon inspection done today, however, despite our other arrangements."
"No problem there, though just so you know, I've sealed this floor back up for a bit til it's ready for the public. No spreading spoilers!"
Alizz raises an eyebrow. "I'll...try not to?"
"Good, good. I'll set up a portal behind you there to take you back to the top." As she rises from her seat, taking one last sip from her wine, a devious look crosses the Reincarnator Extraordinaire's face. "Have fun, and good luck."
DaScoot
By the by, minor spoilers, I will not be doing a full play-by-play of the dungeon inspection. Three full runs in an arc is enough I think. :P
Enjoy!
In celebration of passing 200k published words recently, we have two more art surprises in the glossary tonight!
(Okay, I lie, I would have posted the new art regardless)
Alizz badly, badly felt like she needed to take a break. The rate of revelations-per-minute the dungeon master had been intent on feeding them seemed sure to overwhelm her ability to process through them, but they were already halfway through the avatar spell's one-hour time limit and Xenia had insisted on getting through as much as possible before it ran out. The curses. The fact that Worthy Dungeon was capable of essentially eating an ancient Dragonlord dungeon over time. The interesting little tidbit about how the dungeon spirit was hundreds of years old and had the experience of lifetimes of adventuring. Everything the woman said just kept stacking and stacking, leading to a single inescapable conclusion.
Worthy Dungeon had the potential to be the most dangerous dungeon that had ever existed.
Yet the drider was still having trouble classifying the woman as a threat, given that she had gone through all this trouble to ask for Alizz's help. After all, that was the point of all this, wasn't it? If the world outside knew of everything the dungeon could do, voices would be calling for the dungeon's destruction, and all of Xenia's potential didn't mean anything if the army decided to march fifty men down here tomorrow and 'settle' matters. Xenia's threat level was, in a way, her greatest weakness. But what could Alizz do about any of this?
Which was, incidentally, exactly the question Xenia was finally getting to. "So! Now that you've got all that, the big question is...how can I sell the public on how fuckin' weird I am, without provoking anyone into having the place condemned?"
Alizz sighs, rubbing her head with both hands. "...Okay, please just...give me a minute? This is far outside anything I've ever had to consider before."
The dungeon master nods. "Fair enough, we've got...Guy? Ah, twenty-eight minutes left. Though if we need to go into overtime with Lollyp or Sincere translating, we'll do what we gotta do." As Alizz thinks, the black-and-white woman begins biting into an apple, before suddenly shouting out another statement. "Oough! Ah, sorry, excuse me. Also wanted to bring up and ask one other thing, too. How much do you know about divine favors and dungeons? We got one of those yesterday and I'm not sure what we oughtta do with it yet."
As Alizz's eyes go wide, Kelsey shouts out a response for her. "WHAT? On top of all this other cloud-brained, hole-winged, singed-tail crazy bullshit you just told us about, you got a godsdamned DIVINE FAVOR?" Unable to control himself, the kobold gets up from his seat and begins marching and cursing around the open meadow, while Xenia just awkwardly smirks in response.
"Ah...yup! Got it for killin' this dude here, thanks again Sincere. So, big deal then, I take it."
Deciding to focus on one issue at a time, Alizz considers what she knows about divine favors. "Okay, right. In a way, they're sort of like having a deity...sponsor a dungeon, you could say. Dungeons are generally non-denominational, Challengers can prove themselves to all sorts of deities through their efforts in them. Accepting a divine favor doesn't change that, but it does give you something of a reputation boost with that specific church. Challengers who follow that god are more likely to come, and the theory is that it's easier to become a Champion or Paragon through success in that dungeon, if you're one of its patron's followers. Some dungeons have been blessed by multiple gods, even, though it's rather rare. I'd say in general perhaps a quarter of dungeons are known to have divine favor, generally ones on the older side of things, only a very few have patronage of multiple deities, or multiple favors at all for that matter."
Xenia's mood improves as Alizz speaks. "A reputation boost, eh? That really sounds like something I could use. Any gods worth getting in good with?"
As a thought strikes Alizz, her eyes widen again. "Oh! That's - that's exactly what you need! A cover! Divine patronage could be used to explain matters like your bosses reincarnating!"
Sincere nods along. "Now that is an excellent idea. I believe then we should seek the favor of Destus, the God of Death."
At that suggestion though Alizz only shakes her head. "No, you've got it backwards. Life and death is a cycle, you die, you're reborn, you die again and so on. Destus handles the death side of matters. For reincarnation you want Kahlia."
Lollyp scoffs at the name. "Alizz, that's the Goddess of Fertility. You know Kahlia doesn't do anything with dungeons!"
The drider chews her lip for a moment, then shakes her head. "Not dungeons, no, but she does take an active role in the world. Her Paragons are famous, in fact I'd say hers are historically in perhaps the top ten in terms of how many of them she's had over the years. Do you have some way of knowing if you'd be able to seek her favor?"
Xenia turns to her side. "Well, let's see. Guy, is Kahlia in our contact list?" She waits a moment, then raises her eyebrow before turning back. "Apparently she is. Sounds too like this list is only the guys and girls who've agreed to be on it, since there seems to be some gaps."
"Not surprising. There's considered to be a hundred and thirteen known deities, but over half of them haven't been known to take an active role in the world of any sort in centuries. Others tend to be quite narrow in scope, only making themselves known in very specific circumstances."
"So..." Xenia rests her elbows on the table and taps her fingers in thought. "We can use this, right? We make a deal with Kahlia for...fuck, anything really, we slap up a sign out front that says 'Worthy Dungeon, brought to you by the Goddess of Fertility!'. Then you put out a story saying the reincarnations are part of our divine patronage, with, I dunno, whatever fake restrictions we want to put on it so dudes aren't just offing themselves in here every other day. Claim it only works once every six months on a full moon or some shit."
Growing angry, Sely slams her fist on the table. "Hold on, now! You're talking about - about using a goddess to sell a cover story? Do you have any idea what you're sitting on here? Half the continent would give their right eye for a promise of divine favor!"
"No, no, you're right." Xenia raises her hands in half-surrender. "Trust me, I do not need to get on any more gods' bad sides. If there's a way, I'll try and make sure this isn't an issue with them. But of course, the reincarnations would be just a cover, so...what would a Goddess of Fertility have to offer a dungeon, that I could ask for?"
Alizz closes her eyes. "Let me think...sometimes, a blessing comes in the form of a divine servant, who typically serves as a floor boss, although rarely they serve other purposes, like setting up a sort of pilgrimage destination within the dungeon. These are beings who typically can only be approximated at best by dungeons normally - angels, legendary warriors from past ages, unique monsters, powerful spirits of nature and that sort of thing. Kahlia's champions are, well...typically men and women who have had a great deal of children. It could be that one of them was also a great warrior who's currently residing in her plane of heaven, but I really have no idea."
Sincere's brow furrows in thought. "Kahlia is also known for working closely with several other deities and sharing projects with them. For example, the blessing of Taina, the Goddess of Love, which several centuries ago allowed the mortal races to intermix was largely possible through Kahlia's assistance. The fertility of plants also falls within her domain, and she's often associated with Palain, God of the Harvest."
Xenia considers what that might mean. "So it's possible that we could, what, use our favor to get her to call in a favor and get us some really sweet fruits? Or a Champion of Love? Actually, that last one does sound kind of tempting."
Taly giggles. "Would be a little more complicated than just cashing in your favor with them directly, but it gets Kahlia's name on the place I guess. Or maybe you could get them to agree to a joint project. If this is like a negotiation or something, which I guess is a little presumptuous. Anyone know how it actually works?" She looks around, but even Sincere and Alizz have no confirmations or denials to offer.
The table sits in silence for a moment, other than Kelsey's continued grumbling as he returns to his seat, and eventually Xenia taps her hands on the table. "Alright, so here's the plan then. I ask Kahlia for a divine favor - a Champion or a pilgrimage site or something if it's a non-negotiable thing, otherwise we'll see what we can get. You guys help put out the word that the reincarnations and our rapid expansion are the result of divine favor, and not because of Dragonlord shit or the place being cursed. We set up some kind of limitation on who gets to sign up for an eternity in here, and then...we're good? Dungeon gets to stay open for business, no one's gotta get core-cracking-happy?"
The Divine Masochist again narrows her eyes at the dungeon master. "This sounds like a pretty good deal for you, but why should we do any of that? You're asking us to lie for you - not just to the government, but to our own Challengers! The Association works with friendly dungeons, sometimes, but we don't frigging conspire with them!"
To answer that charge, Lollyp begins counting off on her fingers. "Hey, you get lots of benefits! For one, there still gets to be a dungeon here which is good business for everyone, except the idiot Initiates, but that's like, true of most dungeons anyhow. Second, whatever limits we put on it, if we publicize the reincarnation thing someone's gonna be getting to use it eventually, which is a good deal for them. Third, whatever divine favor we end up getting is bound to be good for Challengers almost no matter what it actually is."
Xenia nods along before grinning. "Also, I ain't above straight-up bribery. If you all want the occasional freebie dungeon gear, coins, box of slime lube, whatever, I don't particularly mind."
The field agent's face winces at the suggestion. "I don't think we need to be that crass. I think I'd rather ask that you perhaps stop killing so many Challengers, if I'm going to be honest. Especially if we're letting you keep that damned luck curse close to your chest, which honestly doesn't sit quite right with me."
Xenia bites back an immediate response before pausing in thought. "Eh...one minute, please." The dungeon master leans over towards her slime boss, and the two converse for a while before Xenia turns back to the group. "So, for the record, totally get where you're coming from on that. On the other hand, I definitely don't want to get a reputation for both being really special and being really soft. I also don't want to let somebody breeze through my first couple floors only to find out too late they've got devious motives on my pearl, you know? So, how's this for an offer." She begins to count off on her own fingers as she continues.
"One, this deal don't cover the military squads. They're digging into my shit and I ain't gonna do them any favors. Two, this only covers the first three floors. Anyone who can get that far doesn't need a handicap. Three, if someone does some really stupid shit like trigger a Challenge Mode or walk in here buck-ass naked, I'm not taking responsibility for what happens."
Alizz half-nods at the demands. "That seems reasonable enough, but what's the actual offer?"
"Floor One, BB will only maim, not kill. Legs, hands, eyes, that sort of thing. Floor Two, Lollyp here can go lethal, but only up to a quarter the party size. Floor Three, the ghost armors get another quarter quota. Also, importantly, you don't tell this shit to the Challengers so folks don't try and exploit it."
Alizz's wincing doesn't much subside at the deal's details. "I hate the idea of negotiating over how many of our people can be killed...but then, it's not as if we usually get to negotiate at all. I suppose I can accept this offer, provisionally, although of course we'll need to know what your divine favor actually is before we can arrange matters."
"True enough. I don't know how long it might take to set up, so...wanna swing by again in two days and see what's up?"
The drider nods. "That's fine. I do want to actually get our dungeon inspection done today, however, despite our other arrangements."
"No problem there, though just so you know, I've sealed this floor back up for a bit til it's ready for the public. No spreading spoilers!"
Alizz raises an eyebrow. "I'll...try not to?"
"Good, good. I'll set up a portal behind you there to take you back to the top." As she rises from her seat, taking one last sip from her wine, a devious look crosses the Reincarnator Extraordinaire's face. "Have fun, and good luck."
DaScoot
By the by, minor spoilers, I will not be doing a full play-by-play of the dungeon inspection. Three full runs in an arc is enough I think. :P
Enjoy!
