A soft smile returns to the lips of Kahlia, Goddess of Fertility as she looks down on Xenia, Reincarnator Extraordinaire. She certainly has to look down quite a bit at that, as between her height and her naturally-grown throne the woman has a good six feet of height advantage over her, even while sitting down. "Now, I have to admit to some curiosity, and some surprise. While I may have been your benefactor for a time, I know you weren't aware of our relationship. I've been open to the idea of providing dungeon blessings for about, oh, two or three decades now, and yet you're the first one to pray for my patronage. What was it that drove your choice, I wonder?"
"Right, well, you see. I've got a little bit of a problem, and you seemed perfectly suited to help me out. You're aware of my curses?" As she speaks Xenia tries to stick to the approach she'd developed from her past experiences of dealing with gods. Don't show weakness, confidence is sexy, but also don't be rude or take the assistance of the divine for granted. For the most part that boiled down to 'don't swear, don't ask for too much, and let the god start the flirting first if that's something they're into'. Though that massive, thick ass the Goddess of Fertility was seated upon was certainly making the latter part very difficult.
Kahlia looks off to the side, as if reading something invisible, and then softly laughs to herself. "Ah, yes...the reincarnation I remember, but that 'attracted to danger' - I thought the meteor I launched went off course! At the time I assumed I must have just been angrier than I thought, but it seems it's your own fault the thing nearly landed on top of you. I suppose I feel a little less bad about that, now. But in any case, if you're going to ask me to remove one of your curses, no deal. They're ingrained into your soul so strongly now you'd need a small pantheon to remove them, or an excessive amount of power from a single one of us."
"I...actually hadn't considered that til you brought it up. Kinda gave up on getting rid of those a couple centuries ago, to be honest. Actually, here's my problem. People who willingly die in my dungeon can be reincarnated there, which is fine, you know, generally speaking. The problem is that we're not gonna be able to sit on that as a secret for long, and I don't want people figuring out just how weird I am. The nail that sticks out gets hammered down, you know?" Xenia presses her palms together and slightly bows her head. "I was hoping that we could have your patronage, as a way of explaining to the masses how we're able to reincarnate people."
Kahlia looks on with a bit of genuine surprise. "You want to give me credit for something I had nothing to do with? That seems like a rather trivial usage of a divine favor, although perhaps you're not aware of how they're generally used."
Xenia shakes her head. "No - well, yes, but that's just why I came to you, not what I was hoping to ask for as our divine favor. Our thinking was, once you're associated with the dungeon through your favor, it would be easy to tack on the resurrecting bosses thing as being like, um, a little bonus feature I guess?" She gives a slightly awkward smile, hoping this part of the request isn't passing the line of 'asking for too much'.
"An interesting idea." Kahlia thinks for a moment, then stands up from her throne. "Walk with me through the Eternal Forest for a bit, won't you? Given your loyal service to me for over a century, I think we can do without some of the typical supplicant pretense, and I imagine you don't get many opportunities to walk around outside these days, do you?"
"Come to think of it, even my magical flashbacks have been indoors...I can still see the sky, you know, my like, dungeony-sense does go outside a little. But yeah, I haven't had a proper walk in nature for too long. Dang, technically I never walked as a sword either, so yeah, been a few." She catches up to the goddess as Kahlia begins to head down a forest path, and finds herself needing to try very hard to keep her attention focused forward, given that the massive, jiggling brown buttcheeks are now nearly perfectly at eye level, and if there's one thing Xenia's learned about deities it's that they do not wear underwear.
"You know, I've thought quite a bit about what boons I might offer to the first dungeon to request my favor. It occurs to me however that most of the typical options would be counter-productive for your request."
Xenia looks up, very carefully not staring at an amount of side-boob larger than her own head to get a look at Kahlia's face. "How so?"
"Getting divine favor at your age is extremely rare. Getting two favors within fifty days? It's never been done. Not impossible, but it would also attract exactly the sort of attention you've been trying to avoid. If the reincarnations are to be publicly attributed to me, then you need your actual favor to be something...subtle."
"I suppose that makes sense. Thanks for working with me on the whole cover-up concept, by the way. But what were you thinking of for 'subtle'?"
"As I said, I do feel perhaps I owe you a little, for your service and your untimely demise. What do you think of this offer, Dungeon Master - for each floor an adventurer defeats, their fertility shall be increased fifteen percent for the next month! Hrmm, non-stacking with multiple delves, always need to account for that."
Xenia purses her lips. "That's...subtle enough, I suppose. I'm not sure every adventurer would consider it a good thing, though."
The goddess rolls her eyes. "If the only mortals who had children were the ones who were planning on it, they would have all gone extinct by now. But fine, I can have the effect be negated through the use of typical contraceptives." The disdain Kahlia puts into the last word raises the hairs on Xenia's neck, and her mental 'pissed-off-deity-o-meter' suddenly shoots up into the yellows.
"That sounds workable." After saying that Xenia decides to change the topic, both to perhaps chill the goddess out a little and to extend her time in this admittedly pleasant environment. "So you only got into the dungeon business recently, huh? What caught your interest?"
"Funny story, that! A team of adventurers caught my eye, a few Paragons-in-the-making, if I'm not mistaken. And it just so happens it's a team you're familiar with."
Xenia's brow furrows. "Huh? Not one I wiped, I'm guessing...not the soldiers...wait. The Dungeon Fuckers? Those three are some of yours, really?"
The goddess gives a deep chuckle. "They do not offer prayers to me, admittedly, and that dwarf is irritatingly thorough with her contraceptive routine. Those elves, though? With a birth that's due next week, as it happens, between the two of them they'll have fathered two dozen children! And all of them to extremely healthy Challenger partners! Such strong children...over the years I've mostly been focused on villagers, you know, the type who settle down and have themselves a healthy eighteen or so children to help out around the farm."
"A very healthy number that, certainly." Xenia's comment draws an amused side-glance from the goddess.
"You don't have to use sarcasm with me, Reincarnator. I know how many descendants you've parented over the years. Another positive mark in your favor."
Xenia's eyes go wide. "Wait, you do? I - I don't even think I know that, not exactly, anyhow! How...no, wait, don't tell me. I don't want to find out I accidentally abandoned some kid after a one-night stand eight runs back or something. You do know about all of them, though?"
"Not all of them are in realms in which I have authority, admittedly. But yes, with you standing before me, tracing your multiple family trees is an easy matter."
"Huh...honestly, it's something I try not to spend a lot of time thinking about, but...I guess it's good to know they've been doing alright for themselves."
"Very much so." The goddess slows down, and sighs. "You know, I have to admit to a little disappointment. I was rather hoping my first foray into the dungeon business would be a little...flashier. Taking credit for one of your curses isn't quite the same." Kahlia then comes to a complete halt, and her eyes widen in realization. "Oh! You know what? I believe I have an opportunity for the both of us - consider it another gift for your years of service."
Before Xenia can ask what she's talking about, a screen suddenly appears before her eyes.
| ------------------------ HAVE AT LEAST FIVE CHILDREN BE CONCEIVED WITHIN YOUR DUNGEON BOUNDS. |
Xenia's own eyes go wide as she reads it over. "Wait, what? Seriously? How am I...I mean, thank you for the opportunity, your fertileness, but how am I supposed to convince that many people to, you know...get freaky down in my dungeon? It's not that kind of dungeon, you know! And it's not like every party is the Dungeon Fuckers, either."
Kahlia simply smiles down at the smaller woman. "Do you really need me to give you ideas in that department? If anything I believe you may be more inventive than I am. Although, you'll have to forgive me if I add a little stick to this carrot. Turn the quest down, and I'm afraid I'll have to revoke your spellsong access. It's honestly something of an oversight that you still have it in the first place, though I've been willing to overlook it for now."
The dungeon master sighs. "Fine, fine, I'll at least take the quest, then. Hell, if I'm lucky, maybe the Challengers are horny enough they'll hit it without me needing to do anything extra...I dunno, I guess I can come up with something, though." She pauses, and shakes her head. "Alizz is not gonna like that a bit, but out of her control, I suppose." Reaching out, she confirms the quest offer and the screen vanishes.
"Give it a try, is all I ask. Perhaps if you succeed, I'll challenge you even further in the future. Now, was there anything else you wish to discuss?"
"Really, this is a better outcome than I honestly hoped for as it is, so I'm not gonna push my shitty luck. Thank you, Goddess, for your assistance. You've been pretty chill compared to a lot of your colleagues, you know?"
Kahlia smiles one last time. "Bringing forth new life is something best done with the cooperation of others, and I do enjoy cooperative projects. Now, I'm afraid other business calls me...but, I suppose the Forest rarely has visitors to admire its beauty. If you like, you may stay for a while longer - simply will yourself home when you've had your fill."
Looking around, Xenia gives a smile of her own. "Thanks. I think I'll take you up on that."
When Lollyp appears in the core chamber's shortcut portal ring, the slime boss seems quite cheerful. "Whoo! Man, it was crazy getting to go all-out against Alizz and her team like that. Well, mostly, Alizz is annoyingly good at counterspells - oh." Looking around, she suddenly realizes only Sincere is sharing the room with her at the moment, reading from a tome at the central table. "Where's Xenia at?"
"Visiting divine dignitaries, presumably. She left almost as soon as your friends departed, so she's been gone oh, an hour or two so far?"
The boss's good cheer begins to abate. "Is that...good? Bad? It's a lot longer than a prayer, that's for sure."
The demon gives an unconcerned shrug in response. "Well, if the Goddess had smote her, I imagine you and I would already be dead or at least dying. It could be there's time dilation shenanigans afoot, or perhaps the discussions are simply that fruitful. In either case, I don't believe there's much we can do but wait for her return."
Somewhat mollified, Lollyp claims a seat at the table. "Oh, I'm sure we can find something better to do than just wait."
Sincere looks up from his book. "Such as?"
Lollyp leans forward, grin fully restored. "Like...gossip! Like, you know. Your ladyfriend Beatrice has been gone for a few days now, probably not coming back for a while either."
The demon raises an eyebrow. "Not exactly my 'ladyfriend', I would say - we both knew the partnership would be a short-lived one, even if I do look forward to her eventual return. Are you hoping that I'll 'spill the dirt' about her now that she's gone from the premises?"
"Not at all!" Lollyp wags a finger. "I'm wondering how long it's gonna be before you make a move on Xen!"
That particular turn of the discussion certainly manages to take the man by surprise. "Pardon me? For one, is she not fully occupied with your own demands? And secondly, why would you expect me to be planning such a move?"
Lollyp waves the first comment off. "Psssh, Xen and I are just a 'for-fun' thing, neither of us are staking a monopoly. Also, if anything, I'm the one trying to keep up with her! Well, some days, anyhow. As for the second question, well...why the hells wouldn't you be? Didn't you make your move on Beatrice after knowing her for like...half an hour? Or is it just that warrior knights are more your thing?"
The demon does his best to maintain his dignity while discussing his sexual preferences. "I actually try to keep myself open-minded, rather than becoming attached to any particular 'thing'. In Beatrice's case, the attraction seemed mutual enough from my perspective, while if our dear dungeon master has had any real interest in me, she hasn't made it plain."
"Well, she's not gonna, you know? I mean, obviously she kept her distance while you were boning her best pal, but also, she takes being low-pressure really seriously, you know? Like she said when you signed up, she doesn't want you mistaking anything as being like, a dungeon master order or anything...considerate, but a little over-cautious, if you ask me. Point being, you're gonna have to make the first move."
"Because slimes are someone to measure sexual caution against. Perhaps you're just reading things into the situation that aren't there? Or perhaps you have an interest of your own, and you're the one waiting for me to make the first move?" Sincere gives the slime a look which is trying very hard not to qualify as smug.
"Please, I've been with plenty of demons! Your fancy tricks don't impress me, if I wanted to try out that demon horn I'd just ask, you know?"
Sincere sets his book aside as his look grows more devious. "You've been with succubi and incubi, perhaps, I daresay I have quite the arsenal of new tricks up my own sleeve. But even if I didn't, would you really say you have no interest?"
Lollyp stares at the demon, trying her best to keep a straight face, and eventually failing. "Okay, fine! I want to try out that demon horn!"
"Honesty is the best foundation for any working relationship." Sincere makes an implications-laden glance in the direction of the chamber's large bed, then back at his fellow dungeon boss. "Were you still looking for ways to kill time until the return of our dear leader?"
Lollyp opens and closes her mouth a few times before eventually settling on an answer. "...Alright, fine! But just one round, since Xenia'll probably be back soon, alright?"
"I'll do my best to show you my best tricks, then. Just one round it is..."
A soft smile returns to the lips of Kahlia, Goddess of Fertility as she looks down on Xenia, Reincarnator Extraordinaire. She certainly has to look down quite a bit at that, as between her height and her naturally-grown throne the woman has a good six feet of height advantage over her, even while sitting down. "Now, I have to admit to some curiosity, and some surprise. While I may have been your benefactor for a time, I know you weren't aware of our relationship. I've been open to the idea of providing dungeon blessings for about, oh, two or three decades now, and yet you're the first one to pray for my patronage. What was it that drove your choice, I wonder?"
"Right, well, you see. I've got a little bit of a problem, and you seemed perfectly suited to help me out. You're aware of my curses?" As she speaks Xenia tries to stick to the approach she'd developed from her past experiences of dealing with gods. Don't show weakness, confidence is sexy, but also don't be rude or take the assistance of the divine for granted. For the most part that boiled down to 'don't swear, don't ask for too much, and let the god start the flirting first if that's something they're into'. Though that massive, thick ass the Goddess of Fertility was seated upon was certainly making the latter part very difficult.
Kahlia looks off to the side, as if reading something invisible, and then softly laughs to herself. "Ah, yes...the reincarnation I remember, but that 'attracted to danger' - I thought the meteor I launched went off course! At the time I assumed I must have just been angrier than I thought, but it seems it's your own fault the thing nearly landed on top of you. I suppose I feel a little less bad about that, now. But in any case, if you're going to ask me to remove one of your curses, no deal. They're ingrained into your soul so strongly now you'd need a small pantheon to remove them, or an excessive amount of power from a single one of us."
"I...actually hadn't considered that til you brought it up. Kinda gave up on getting rid of those a couple centuries ago, to be honest. Actually, here's my problem. People who willingly die in my dungeon can be reincarnated there, which is fine, you know, generally speaking. The problem is that we're not gonna be able to sit on that as a secret for long, and I don't want people figuring out just how weird I am. The nail that sticks out gets hammered down, you know?" Xenia presses her palms together and slightly bows her head. "I was hoping that we could have your patronage, as a way of explaining to the masses how we're able to reincarnate people."
Kahlia looks on with a bit of genuine surprise. "You want to give me credit for something I had nothing to do with? That seems like a rather trivial usage of a divine favor, although perhaps you're not aware of how they're generally used."
Xenia shakes her head. "No - well, yes, but that's just why I came to you, not what I was hoping to ask for as our divine favor. Our thinking was, once you're associated with the dungeon through your favor, it would be easy to tack on the resurrecting bosses thing as being like, um, a little bonus feature I guess?" She gives a slightly awkward smile, hoping this part of the request isn't passing the line of 'asking for too much'.
"An interesting idea." Kahlia thinks for a moment, then stands up from her throne. "Walk with me through the Eternal Forest for a bit, won't you? Given your loyal service to me for over a century, I think we can do without some of the typical supplicant pretense, and I imagine you don't get many opportunities to walk around outside these days, do you?"
"Come to think of it, even my magical flashbacks have been indoors...I can still see the sky, you know, my like, dungeony-sense does go outside a little. But yeah, I haven't had a proper walk in nature for too long. Dang, technically I never walked as a sword either, so yeah, been a few." She catches up to the goddess as Kahlia begins to head down a forest path, and finds herself needing to try very hard to keep her attention focused forward, given that the massive, jiggling brown buttcheeks are now nearly perfectly at eye level, and if there's one thing Xenia's learned about deities it's that they do not wear underwear.
"You know, I've thought quite a bit about what boons I might offer to the first dungeon to request my favor. It occurs to me however that most of the typical options would be counter-productive for your request."
Xenia looks up, very carefully not staring at an amount of side-boob larger than her own head to get a look at Kahlia's face. "How so?"
"Getting divine favor at your age is extremely rare. Getting two favors within fifty days? It's never been done. Not impossible, but it would also attract exactly the sort of attention you've been trying to avoid. If the reincarnations are to be publicly attributed to me, then you need your actual favor to be something...subtle."
"I suppose that makes sense. Thanks for working with me on the whole cover-up concept, by the way. But what were you thinking of for 'subtle'?"
"As I said, I do feel perhaps I owe you a little, for your service and your untimely demise. What do you think of this offer, Dungeon Master - for each floor an adventurer defeats, their fertility shall be increased fifteen percent for the next month! Hrmm, non-stacking with multiple delves, always need to account for that."
Xenia purses her lips. "That's...subtle enough, I suppose. I'm not sure every adventurer would consider it a good thing, though."
The goddess rolls her eyes. "If the only mortals who had children were the ones who were planning on it, they would have all gone extinct by now. But fine, I can have the effect be negated through the use of typical contraceptives." The disdain Kahlia puts into the last word raises the hairs on Xenia's neck, and her mental 'pissed-off-deity-o-meter' suddenly shoots up into the yellows.
"That sounds workable." After saying that Xenia decides to change the topic, both to perhaps chill the goddess out a little and to extend her time in this admittedly pleasant environment. "So you only got into the dungeon business recently, huh? What caught your interest?"
"Funny story, that! A team of adventurers caught my eye, a few Paragons-in-the-making, if I'm not mistaken. And it just so happens it's a team you're familiar with."
Xenia's brow furrows. "Huh? Not one I wiped, I'm guessing...not the soldiers...wait. The Dungeon Fuckers? Those three are some of yours, really?"
The goddess gives a deep chuckle. "They do not offer prayers to me, admittedly, and that dwarf is irritatingly thorough with her contraceptive routine. Those elves, though? With a birth that's due next week, as it happens, between the two of them they'll have fathered two dozen children! And all of them to extremely healthy Challenger partners! Such strong children...over the years I've mostly been focused on villagers, you know, the type who settle down and have themselves a healthy eighteen or so children to help out around the farm."
"A very healthy number that, certainly." Xenia's comment draws an amused side-glance from the goddess.
"You don't have to use sarcasm with me, Reincarnator. I know how many descendants you've parented over the years. Another positive mark in your favor."
Xenia's eyes go wide. "Wait, you do? I - I don't even think I know that, not exactly, anyhow! How...no, wait, don't tell me. I don't want to find out I accidentally abandoned some kid after a one-night stand eight runs back or something. You do know about all of them, though?"
"Not all of them are in realms in which I have authority, admittedly. But yes, with you standing before me, tracing your multiple family trees is an easy matter."
"Huh...honestly, it's something I try not to spend a lot of time thinking about, but...I guess it's good to know they've been doing alright for themselves."
"Very much so." The goddess slows down, and sighs. "You know, I have to admit to a little disappointment. I was rather hoping my first foray into the dungeon business would be a little...flashier. Taking credit for one of your curses isn't quite the same." Kahlia then comes to a complete halt, and her eyes widen in realization. "Oh! You know what? I believe I have an opportunity for the both of us - consider it another gift for your years of service."
Before Xenia can ask what she's talking about, a screen suddenly appears before her eyes.
| ------------------------ HAVE AT LEAST FIVE CHILDREN BE CONCEIVED WITHIN YOUR DUNGEON BOUNDS. |
Xenia's own eyes go wide as she reads it over. "Wait, what? Seriously? How am I...I mean, thank you for the opportunity, your fertileness, but how am I supposed to convince that many people to, you know...get freaky down in my dungeon? It's not that kind of dungeon, you know! And it's not like every party is the Dungeon Fuckers, either."
Kahlia simply smiles down at the smaller woman. "Do you really need me to give you ideas in that department? If anything I believe you may be more inventive than I am. Although, you'll have to forgive me if I add a little stick to this carrot. Turn the quest down, and I'm afraid I'll have to revoke your spellsong access. It's honestly something of an oversight that you still have it in the first place, though I've been willing to overlook it for now."
The dungeon master sighs. "Fine, fine, I'll at least take the quest, then. Hell, if I'm lucky, maybe the Challengers are horny enough they'll hit it without me needing to do anything extra...I dunno, I guess I can come up with something, though." She pauses, and shakes her head. "Alizz is not gonna like that a bit, but out of her control, I suppose." Reaching out, she confirms the quest offer and the screen vanishes.
"Give it a try, is all I ask. Perhaps if you succeed, I'll challenge you even further in the future. Now, was there anything else you wish to discuss?"
"Really, this is a better outcome than I honestly hoped for as it is, so I'm not gonna push my shitty luck. Thank you, Goddess, for your assistance. You've been pretty chill compared to a lot of your colleagues, you know?"
Kahlia smiles one last time. "Bringing forth new life is something best done with the cooperation of others, and I do enjoy cooperative projects. Now, I'm afraid other business calls me...but, I suppose the Forest rarely has visitors to admire its beauty. If you like, you may stay for a while longer - simply will yourself home when you've had your fill."
Looking around, Xenia gives a smile of her own. "Thanks. I think I'll take you up on that."
When Lollyp appears in the core chamber's shortcut portal ring, the slime boss seems quite cheerful. "Whoo! Man, it was crazy getting to go all-out against Alizz and her team like that. Well, mostly, Alizz is annoyingly good at counterspells - oh." Looking around, she suddenly realizes only Sincere is sharing the room with her at the moment, reading from a tome at the central table. "Where's Xenia at?"
"Visiting divine dignitaries, presumably. She left almost as soon as your friends departed, so she's been gone oh, an hour or two so far?"
The boss's good cheer begins to abate. "Is that...good? Bad? It's a lot longer than a prayer, that's for sure."
The demon gives an unconcerned shrug in response. "Well, if the Goddess had smote her, I imagine you and I would already be dead or at least dying. It could be there's time dilation shenanigans afoot, or perhaps the discussions are simply that fruitful. In either case, I don't believe there's much we can do but wait for her return."
Somewhat mollified, Lollyp claims a seat at the table. "Oh, I'm sure we can find something better to do than just wait."
Sincere looks up from his book. "Such as?"
Lollyp leans forward, grin fully restored. "Like...gossip! Like, you know. Your ladyfriend Beatrice has been gone for a few days now, probably not coming back for a while either."
The demon raises an eyebrow. "Not exactly my 'ladyfriend', I would say - we both knew the partnership would be a short-lived one, even if I do look forward to her eventual return. Are you hoping that I'll 'spill the dirt' about her now that she's gone from the premises?"
"Not at all!" Lollyp wags a finger. "I'm wondering how long it's gonna be before you make a move on Xen!"
That particular turn of the discussion certainly manages to take the man by surprise. "Pardon me? For one, is she not fully occupied with your own demands? And secondly, why would you expect me to be planning such a move?"
Lollyp waves the first comment off. "Psssh, Xen and I are just a 'for-fun' thing, neither of us are staking a monopoly. Also, if anything, I'm the one trying to keep up with her! Well, some days, anyhow. As for the second question, well...why the hells wouldn't you be? Didn't you make your move on Beatrice after knowing her for like...half an hour? Or is it just that warrior knights are more your thing?"
The demon does his best to maintain his dignity while discussing his sexual preferences. "I actually try to keep myself open-minded, rather than becoming attached to any particular 'thing'. In Beatrice's case, the attraction seemed mutual enough from my perspective, while if our dear dungeon master has had any real interest in me, she hasn't made it plain."
"Well, she's not gonna, you know? I mean, obviously she kept her distance while you were boning her best pal, but also, she takes being low-pressure really seriously, you know? Like she said when you signed up, she doesn't want you mistaking anything as being like, a dungeon master order or anything...considerate, but a little over-cautious, if you ask me. Point being, you're gonna have to make the first move."
"Because slimes are someone to measure sexual caution against. Perhaps you're just reading things into the situation that aren't there? Or perhaps you have an interest of your own, and you're the one waiting for me to make the first move?" Sincere gives the slime a look which is trying very hard not to qualify as smug.
"Please, I've been with plenty of demons! Your fancy tricks don't impress me, if I wanted to try out that demon horn I'd just ask, you know?"
Sincere sets his book aside as his look grows more devious. "You've been with succubi and incubi, perhaps, I daresay I have quite the arsenal of new tricks up my own sleeve. But even if I didn't, would you really say you have no interest?"
Lollyp stares at the demon, trying her best to keep a straight face, and eventually failing. "Okay, fine! I want to try out that demon horn!"
"Honesty is the best foundation for any working relationship." Sincere makes an implications-laden glance in the direction of the chamber's large bed, then back at his fellow dungeon boss. "Were you still looking for ways to kill time until the return of our dear leader?"
Lollyp opens and closes her mouth a few times before eventually settling on an answer. "...Alright, fine! But just one round, since Xenia'll probably be back soon, alright?"
"I'll do my best to show you my best tricks, then. Just one round it is..."
