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Published at 1st of April 2022 07:28:25 PM


Chapter 118: How Does One Learn To Love?

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"What...?" Sangfroid asked with his glassy eyes.

"I said..... In the event that the Hermit did eliminate Vladstin instead of help us.... Do not forfeit your life." Leron said sincerely, looking straight at him. "Find me a cure and I might love you. I will try to love you."

"Do you really mean that, Your Highness?" Sangfroid said in disbelief, then shook his head. "Or..... Or are you only saying that because you pity me?"

"No... No, I mean it, Sangfroid." Leron clasped both of his cheeks and tried to be as believable as he can.

He doesn't want Sangfroid to die. Romantic feelings or not, he couldn't imagine the thought of it.

So he must do everything to stop that from happening. Even to lie. 

"How... How do you try to fall in love with someone, Your Highness?" Sangfroid looked confused, yet Leron could feel his face heating up from where his hands were touching him. He looked so pitifully innocent that it hurts. "Feelings cannot be controlled. It is one thing in life that you cannot just alter no matter how much you want to. Especially something as complex as love. The Bishop taught me so."

"The Bishop?"

"I asked him about it once. When I was fifteen, and starting to realize the extent of my affection for you." Sangfroid admitted. "I asked him if it was possible to stop someone from loving someone. He told me that 'The heart is not meant to be controlled, because if we could, then we could have made it stopped beating and let it beat again by will. Therefore, whether we love or not someone is not up to us as well.'"

Leron pretended to consider this, but he was only coming up with excuses to counter this argument. "But if the person you love is not worth loving anymore, and the person who loves you is worth loving, then you must want to do your best to transfer your love to the one worthwhile, right?"

"The Bishop also added that 'We do not love people by whether or not they deserve it or not, or what value they have. It just happens as naturally as we breathe. We are doomed to fall for an evil person, and not fall for a good person, but it is inevitable and uncurable.'." 

"Isn't that like treating love as a disease?" Leron forced a chuckle. "Sangfroid, the human mind is capable of many things. That is what separates us from all beings. Our will can mold our surroundings, and even ourselves. With enough willpower, we become strong. So could it not be possible that with enough willpower, we can control the uncontrollable, our very own hearts?"

The hunter looked troubled, weighing the prince and the Bishop's words in a scale and finding them almost equal. He frowned, thinking deeply but because of his personal bias, he was slowly being inclined into Leron's arguments.

"But even if that is true, that with a strong will, one can learn to love.....I do not like it." Sangfroid decided. "I do not like that it is something that should be forced."

So Leron quickly added, lifting his chin up.  "Sangfroid, it doesn't have to be! And all action requires force, even falling in love. Even breathing itself. I just need to exert a bit more."

Sangfroid became flustered because of this touch, not to mention the closing distance between them. "Am I really that difficult to love that more effort needs to exerted for me?"

"No!" Leron quickly shook his head. "No, that's not true! In fact, you are someone who is very easy to love in my eyes, Sangfroid! You exhibit traits that anyone will want in a lover. You are thoughtful, caring, patient, observant of the other's needs, and you are good with children! You also have a lot of others skills that people may find attractive, like how good you are at archery and activities involving dexterity, leadership, and memory, as you can easily recall things word for word!"

"Then... Even if I have all that... qualities of a lover, dexterity, leadership, and good memory... Why am I still not lovable? It's not only you, Your Highness. Even the children in the orphanage back then did not like me." Sangfroid frowned. "Was it because I am too ugly----"

"Absolutely not! You grew up to be a dashing young man, Sangfroid! Sure to capture the hearts of women..... men..... everyone!" Leron sighed. "It's just that... It's just that... It is difficult for me to let go of Vladstin, because of how long we have been together and all my memories with him..... but give me some time."

He smiled reassuredly, but it was more like he was reassuring himself rather than Sangfroid. Assuring himself that this is the right decision, and that perhaps all these lies would become the truth if worse comes to worst. Only if worse comes to worst.

He still does not want to give up hope that the Hermit can turn Vladstin into a human.

"Ho much time does one need to learn to love then, Your Highness?" Sangfroid asked out of pure curiosity. The lave had stayed too long on his hair and the bubbles started to drip off a little in the water. "A month? A year? What dos your books say about it?"

There was a slight hint of... disdainful sarcasm in his tone. But it couldn't have been possible, since this is Sangfroid, right?  If it was anyone else, it really might have been bitter, but he really was just asking out of interest.

"I.... I cannot tell for sure. But I am sure it would not be long." Leron patted his head. "I promise that I will try. But..... We must try to find the Hermit first."

".....Alright."

And that was the end of it.

"You... You will not do anything rash anymore, right?" Leron wanted to make sure. "Sangfroid?'

".... As long as Your Highness wants me to be around him, then I shall be around. But once you dispose of me, or I felt like I was only overstaying out of your guilt and mercy..... there is truly no need to continue a pathetic life as mine."

Leron gulped. He succeeded, but there is still strain in his heart from what Sangfroid said.

"Then... Your Highness."

He blinked out of this line of thinking. "Yes?"

Sangfroid went closer, pushing back his hair....

Leron gulped. Is he going to...?

But he closed his eyes. If this was going to console Sangfroid, then so be it.

"I have not washed your hair yet. Do you still want to?"

Leron opened his eyes, immediately ashamed beyond disbelief. "Oh! Y-Yes... Of course."

He turned around, not only for Sangfroid to wash his hair with lave, but to hide the seeping embarrassment that will soon grow very apparent on his face.

Of course! Why did he think such a thing, Sangfroid is never that bold!

He felt Sangfroid wash his hair from the tips of his hairline down to the ends by the nape of his neck. He has not cut it so it had grown a little longer than usual, both of theirs did. Only Vladstin did not, since his hair is literally dead, that is why they look so stiff and spiky.

But as Sangfroid brushed lightly through his scalp....

Leron's body immediately shivered, and he yelped. "Wait!"

Sangfroid stopped halfway. "Is there something wrong, Your Highness?"

"Nothing..... I just... I suppose I got a little too sensitive." Leron brushed it off with a chuckle. "Continue."

But the more Sangfroid massaged his head with those long dextrous fingers, the more tingling sensations came. It felt.... good. Really good, like you can feel asleep from it yet at the same time, the shivers keep you awake.

It was a very odd sensation indeed that he never thought he would have. This isn't the first time someone else washed his hair. Yet why...?

He couldn't stop pleased sounds and whispers escaping his lips. This made Sangfroid a bit baffled, but he still continued doing his 'duty', not thinking about it too much.

"There.... On that spot....." Leron found himself saying, and immediately covered his mouth.

"Here?" Sangfroid merely asked, though his ears have a red tint again.

"Yes..." He closed his eyes and bit his tongue to stop embarrassing himself even more, but Leron could not handle how good it felt when Sangfroid touched that spot behind his ear. "Mmm..... So good....."

Sangfroid merely kept a blank face. But deep inside, he is fighting his own body.

This is His Highness, Leron. He can't have the same reaction back when.... when... the snake bite. Right, the snake bite.

He must control himself. He cannot sin anymore.

"It is finished, Your Highness." Sangfroid said. "I will wash out the lave now. I must also rinse mine too."

"Oh." Leron found himself upset that it is over so soon, but tried to break away from such strange thoughts. "Alright. Let me help you." 

He turned around, and they are faced to face again. He scooped some water and let it drip down over Sangfroid's hair..... his face..... his neck..... and on to his broad chest. He just closed his eyes and let Leron wash him first. Leron found an inexplicable tug at his heart with watching him close like this. Only then did he truly recognize the intensity of the situation as he watched the bubbly lave fall down on that bare skin...

'He is naked. We are naked. Bathing together.'

He said before that it is alright that they are both men. But now, he is also feeling weird about it.

He scooped some more water, letting it drip on Sangfroid's shoulders instead, and watching where the droplets go with keen interest. Hidden by the water would be Sangfroid's full torso, that must be rippling with muscles just from seeing his build. He remembered the Crescentian term. What was that again? Was it 'six bun stomach'?

Anyway, he felt like Sangfroid's physique must really be enviable and impeccable to behold. He had seen glimpses of it before, back on his fight with Vladstin by the waterfall, or when he would undress to change his clothes, but he never really payed attention. Yet now, he had the urge to examine every minute detail.....

"Your Highness?" Sangfroid opened his eyes. "Are you finished?"

"Ah..... Yes." He looked up, since it's rude to stare down when he should be looking at the person in the eye. He somehow felt dirty, like a lecher.

"I'll go rinse yours now." Sangfroid said, and scooped water to wash out the lave quicker than Leron did. "There. It's done."

"Right." Leron nervously nodded. "We should go up and get dressed, and meet with the two....."

But right before he can leave their cozy basin, Sangfroid suddenly lightly grabbed his hand and asked.

"Can I kiss you, Your Highness?"




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