Chapter 163: Sympathy (Part 3)
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Xendros could not sleep well that night after those words at the monastery.
He thought hard whether he must apologize or not. He felt like he had wounded Maelle deeply, but at the same time, he believes he was only doing what is right. He had started to care for this fellow priest and his people, and so he wants the best for them....
But they don't want it.
Why?
Why aren't they allowing him to help?
There are times when he just want to go out and help, and most of the time, when he does so, he receives gratitude. He was used to such exchange that having something break from that mold made him question things, made him ponder over his own morality. Because if the person was not grateful for your help, they are you not doing good anymore?
Was he wrong? Was what he did wrong?
Can good intentions bear harmful fruits?
He tossed and turned, and in the end, he woke up from bed and went outside. Slowly opening the door, making sure it does not creak to wake the sleeping prince at the cot.
He was not aware that in the midst of the night, Prince Faestien's eyes were wide open like two blue moons glinting.
Brother Xendros went to Maelle's room, his throat feeling dry, and hesitated. He slowly gave a knock, rapping lightly like the door was fragile glass that can break easily.
He heard nothing. Of course, that is to be expected with how lightly he knocked.
He tried again, slightly louder and harder this time, but still cautious.
He waited.
And waited.
Then, the door swung open. A sleepy-eyed Maelle with his hair looking like a bunch of cobwebs instead of hair greeted him by the small creak of his bedroom's door, lamp in hand.
"Oh..... How may I help you at these wee hours of the night, Brother Xendros?"
"I know it is late and will be morning soon but I..." Brother Xendros shifted from foot to foot, his large figure looking quite delicate in this agitated state. "Can I consult you with something? It shall not take a while."
Maelle squinted, then nod and grinned knowingly as he always does. "Of course you may. Do come in."
The Ilvedian priest's amethyst eyes roamed around the dimly-lit room. It is just the same as his own and the Ilvedian priest's, the difference being the smell. He recognized that scent from the strange, explosive colored powders Maelle uses in his stories. He closed the door behind him, and took note of the scent, trying to find a way to rationalize and describe it.
It is not rancid, but not sweet-smelling either. It is not light nor strong, does not invade the lungs but is not weak to just linger for a short while either. He cannot discern it at all. It's like it embodies and a bunch of splatters. That is all they are. Indescribably, incomprehensible, meaningless splatters.
Just like the person who lives here. A scent that fits its owner.
"Brotehr Maelle." Xendros brought up softly. "Can I first ask..... What materials are those powders made from?"
"Several things. I can't name them all at once." Maelle chuckled, letting those small glass vials by his waist tinkle a bit. He still keeps them even when sleeping, not afraid of the mess they could make if they spilled or broke as he laid in his bed.
"I see....." Xendros frowned as his curiosity was not satiated.
Maelle found that truly endearing about him. He raised himself by the toes to pat his head. "I can tell you that most of the colors and dyes are from wildberries that can only be found here in Crescentia. The reason why they mix with fire is because of a little ground coal and flint."
Brother Xendros mouth turned into a small 'O'. "I see.... I see."
They sat down by the edge of the bed, as the crickets sang their nightly lullaby that may be calming or disturbing to some, depending on who you ask.
"What are you here for, Brother Xendros. Was it only to inquire about my powders?" He asked, knowing the answer already with his golden irises dancing a little like the flames in his lamp.
Xendros rubbed a hand over his forehead, and sighed.
"No..... I was actually here for a different matter that I want to be resolved. I could not get a wink of sleep because of it."
"I can see that."
"Hmm, you are observant indeed, Brother Maelle."
"No.... I do not observe. Just guess. Intuition." He pointed to his stomach.
"Ah, I see." Brother Xendros looked at that stomach of his that was revealed a little due to his thin and flimsy clothing. In Ilvedia, it would be considered indecent, and he would have considered it indecent as well, but now he no longer cares for it.
In Crescentia, do as Crescentians do. He must widen his worldview a little, and understand the other cultures if this strange land he found himself in. Of the different ideologies this strange man sitting beside him has. He must no longer be ignorant.
"Brother Maelle.... I came here to apologize. For my words in the monastery. I did not mean to upset you so and make you do something against your religion for it. I am just not used to anything outside my kingdom's ideology, I am a foreigner, and for that, I was insensitive and inconsiderate."
He gave the Ilvedian bow for asking apologies, placing both palms together and raising them above the head, before doing a ninety-degree bow.
Maelle's eyes softened, though he acted merely amused. "So this is the reason for your visit. I thought you merely wanted to chat about things outside our religion for a while."
"Outside.... religion?" Xendros blinked.
"I want to know more of who you are not defined by Ilvedian standards and ideals. They you that was not influenced, the natural you. Your hidden aspirations, your instinct and desires, your fears and anxieties." He said with another head tilt. "I want to understand you as Xendros. Just Xendros, and not the priest. And....."
"I want you to understand me as Maelle, just Maelle, and not a stranger that practice a fellowship you could not fathom."
Xendros could not say anything for a while. His heart understands it, but his mind could not. But what's important is one organ managed to do so. His mind may not be able to comprehend it....
But there are just times when you must block off your thoughts, and let your emotions take the reigns.
And so, he told Maelle everything. His past, his experience being 'ugly' in society's eyes, those lonely days of reading and reading while locked up in a room. That itchiness of the fake skin and the gel for his eyes, his great fondness for gaining knowledge, and philosophizing in general. He shared them all, and......
For the first time, he also shared his thoughts about the old man Xenophon to both Maelle and himself.
He had long avoided thinking about it for a while. But for some reason, he felt like opening up to this unfathomable stranger, this force he could still not fully decipher.
"There was a man that is always in our Chapel. I know that he is my biological father the moment he cried upon seeing my real appearance." He said as dawn was slowly breaking out from the mountains and hillside outside the window. They had already talked until morning.
"And.... did he approach you?" Maelle asked since this is something he genuinely doesn't know or could have a hunch about. "Did he claim you back?"
"No." Xendros shook his head. "Ever since that day, I was hoping he did. I was hoping he would explain it to me, why he left me behind. I just want a single explanation, but I never heard one from him. We only interacted when he died, and I officiated his funeral."
"And even then, he would not tell me his child's name. He never revealed it, said the name that I waited for so long. I do not bear a grudge or anything as superfluous as that. I do not think I hate him either. But I still hope..... I still want......"
"I can understand." Maelle nodded. "You wanted to have something, but did not have it. Still, you cannot bear to blame the other person, and so, you end up feeling unsatisfied. There is no proper end to the two of you."
Xendros nodded. "Yes, that may be it. That is also the same with you."
"The same with me?" Maelle raised an eyebrow.
"I do not want to remain feeling unsatisfied, that is why I talked with you now. I took the initiative to start conversation, before it's too late. I do not want it to end up like my father and I."
Maelle nodded. "I am glad you did. Well, you should return soon before His Highness of Ilvedia wonders where you went---"
"Maelle, can you promise me that if I ever wronged you, you will tell me directly about it?"
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Xendros could not sleep well that night after those words at the monastery.
He thought hard whether he must apologize or not. He felt like he had wounded Maelle deeply, but at the same time, he believes he was only doing what is right. He had started to care for this fellow priest and his people, and so he wants the best for them....
But they don't want it.
Why?
Why aren't they allowing him to help?
There are times when he just want to go out and help, and most of the time, when he does so, he receives gratitude. He was used to such exchange that having something break from that mold made him question things, made him ponder over his own morality. Because if the person was not grateful for your help, they are you not doing good anymore?
Was he wrong? Was what he did wrong?
Can good intentions bear harmful fruits?
He tossed and turned, and in the end, he woke up from bed and went outside. Slowly opening the door, making sure it does not creak to wake the sleeping prince at the cot.
He was not aware that in the midst of the night, Prince Faestien's eyes were wide open like two blue moons glinting.
Brother Xendros went to Maelle's room, his throat feeling dry, and hesitated. He slowly gave a knock, rapping lightly like the door was fragile glass that can break easily.
He heard nothing. Of course, that is to be expected with how lightly he knocked.
He tried again, slightly louder and harder this time, but still cautious.
He waited.
And waited.
Then, the door swung open. A sleepy-eyed Maelle with his hair looking like a bunch of cobwebs instead of hair greeted him by the small creak of his bedroom's door, lamp in hand.
"Oh..... How may I help you at these wee hours of the night, Brother Xendros?"
"I know it is late and will be morning soon but I..." Brother Xendros shifted from foot to foot, his large figure looking quite delicate in this agitated state. "Can I consult you with something? It shall not take a while."
Maelle squinted, then nod and grinned knowingly as he always does. "Of course you may. Do come in."
The Ilvedian priest's amethyst eyes roamed around the dimly-lit room. It is just the same as his own and the Ilvedian priest's, the difference being the smell. He recognized that scent from the strange, explosive colored powders Maelle uses in his stories. He closed the door behind him, and took note of the scent, trying to find a way to rationalize and describe it.
It is not rancid, but not sweet-smelling either. It is not light nor strong, does not invade the lungs but is not weak to just linger for a short while either. He cannot discern it at all. It's like it embodies and a bunch of splatters. That is all they are. Indescribably, incomprehensible, meaningless splatters.
Just like the person who lives here. A scent that fits its owner.
"Brotehr Maelle." Xendros brought up softly. "Can I first ask..... What materials are those powders made from?"
"Several things. I can't name them all at once." Maelle chuckled, letting those small glass vials by his waist tinkle a bit. He still keeps them even when sleeping, not afraid of the mess they could make if they spilled or broke as he laid in his bed.
"I see....." Xendros frowned as his curiosity was not satiated.
Maelle found that truly endearing about him. He raised himself by the toes to pat his head. "I can tell you that most of the colors and dyes are from wildberries that can only be found here in Crescentia. The reason why they mix with fire is because of a little ground coal and flint."
Brother Xendros mouth turned into a small 'O'. "I see.... I see."
They sat down by the edge of the bed, as the crickets sang their nightly lullaby that may be calming or disturbing to some, depending on who you ask.
"What are you here for, Brother Xendros. Was it only to inquire about my powders?" He asked, knowing the answer already with his golden irises dancing a little like the flames in his lamp.
Xendros rubbed a hand over his forehead, and sighed.
"No..... I was actually here for a different matter that I want to be resolved. I could not get a wink of sleep because of it."
"I can see that."
"Hmm, you are observant indeed, Brother Maelle."
"No.... I do not observe. Just guess. Intuition." He pointed to his stomach.
"Ah, I see." Brother Xendros looked at that stomach of his that was revealed a little due to his thin and flimsy clothing. In Ilvedia, it would be considered indecent, and he would have considered it indecent as well, but now he no longer cares for it.
In Crescentia, do as Crescentians do. He must widen his worldview a little, and understand the other cultures if this strange land he found himself in. Of the different ideologies this strange man sitting beside him has. He must no longer be ignorant.
"Brother Maelle.... I came here to apologize. For my words in the monastery. I did not mean to upset you so and make you do something against your religion for it. I am just not used to anything outside my kingdom's ideology, I am a foreigner, and for that, I was insensitive and inconsiderate."
He gave the Ilvedian bow for asking apologies, placing both palms together and raising them above the head, before doing a ninety-degree bow.
Maelle's eyes softened, though he acted merely amused. "So this is the reason for your visit. I thought you merely wanted to chat about things outside our religion for a while."
"Outside.... religion?" Xendros blinked.
"I want to know more of who you are not defined by Ilvedian standards and ideals. They you that was not influenced, the natural you. Your hidden aspirations, your instinct and desires, your fears and anxieties." He said with another head tilt. "I want to understand you as Xendros. Just Xendros, and not the priest. And....."
"I want you to understand me as Maelle, just Maelle, and not a stranger that practice a fellowship you could not fathom."
Xendros could not say anything for a while. His heart understands it, but his mind could not. But what's important is one organ managed to do so. His mind may not be able to comprehend it....
But there are just times when you must block off your thoughts, and let your emotions take the reigns.
And so, he told Maelle everything. His past, his experience being 'ugly' in society's eyes, those lonely days of reading and reading while locked up in a room. That itchiness of the fake skin and the gel for his eyes, his great fondness for gaining knowledge, and philosophizing in general. He shared them all, and......
For the first time, he also shared his thoughts about the old man Xenophon to both Maelle and himself.
He had long avoided thinking about it for a while. But for some reason, he felt like opening up to this unfathomable stranger, this force he could still not fully decipher.
"There was a man that is always in our Chapel. I know that he is my biological father the moment he cried upon seeing my real appearance." He said as dawn was slowly breaking out from the mountains and hillside outside the window. They had already talked until morning.
"And.... did he approach you?" Maelle asked since this is something he genuinely doesn't know or could have a hunch about. "Did he claim you back?"
"No." Xendros shook his head. "Ever since that day, I was hoping he did. I was hoping he would explain it to me, why he left me behind. I just want a single explanation, but I never heard one from him. We only interacted when he died, and I officiated his funeral."
"And even then, he would not tell me his child's name. He never revealed it, said the name that I waited for so long. I do not bear a grudge or anything as superfluous as that. I do not think I hate him either. But I still hope..... I still want......"
"I can understand." Maelle nodded. "You wanted to have something, but did not have it. Still, you cannot bear to blame the other person, and so, you end up feeling unsatisfied. There is no proper end to the two of you."
Xendros nodded. "Yes, that may be it. That is also the same with you."
"The same with me?" Maelle raised an eyebrow.
"I do not want to remain feeling unsatisfied, that is why I talked with you now. I took the initiative to start conversation, before it's too late. I do not want it to end up like my father and I."
Maelle nodded. "I am glad you did. Well, you should return soon before His Highness of Ilvedia wonders where you went---"
"Maelle, can you promise me that if I ever wronged you, you will tell me directly about it?"
Xendros could not sleep well that night after those words at the monastery.He thought hard whether he must apologize or not. He felt like he had wounded Maelle deeply, but at the same time, he believes he was only doing what is right. He had started to care for this fellow priest and his people, and so he wants the best for them....But they don't want it.Why?Why aren't they allowing him to help?There are times when he just want to go out and help, and most of the time, when he does so, he receives gratitude. He was used to such exchange that having something break from that mold made him question things, made him ponder over his own morality. Because if the person was not grateful for your help, they are you not doing good anymore?Was he wrong? Was what he did wrong?Can good intentions bear harmful fruits?He tossed and turned, and in the end, he woke up from bed and went outside. Slowly opening the door, making sure it does not creak to wake the sleeping prince at the cot.He was not aware that in the midst of the night, Prince Faestien's eyes were wide open like two blue moons glinting.Brother Xendros went to Maelle's room, his throat feeling dry, and hesitated. He slowly gave a knock, rapping lightly like the door was fragile glass that can break easily.He heard nothing. Of course, that is to be expected with how lightly he knocked.He tried again, slightly louder and harder this time, but still cautious.He waited.And waited.Then, the door swung open. A sleepy-eyed Maelle with his hair looking like a bunch of cobwebs instead of hair greeted him by the small creak of his bedroom's door, lamp in hand."Oh..... How may I help you at these wee hours of the night, Brother Xendros?""I know it is late and will be morning soon but I..." Brother Xendros shifted from foot to foot, his large figure looking quite delicate in this agitated state. "Can I consult you with something? It shall not take a while."Maelle squinted, then nod and grinned knowingly as he always does. "Of course you may. Do come in."The Ilvedian priest's amethyst eyes roamed around the dimly-lit room. It is just the same as his own and the Ilvedian priest's, the difference being the smell. He recognized that scent from the strange, explosive colored powders Maelle uses in his stories. He closed the door behind him, and took note of the scent, trying to find a way to rationalize and describe it.It is not rancid, but not sweet-smelling either. It is not light nor strong, does not invade the lungs but is not weak to just linger for a short while either. He cannot discern it at all. It's like it embodies and a bunch of splatters. That is all they are. Indescribably, incomprehensible, meaningless splatters.Just like the person who lives here. A scent that fits its owner."Brotehr Maelle." Xendros brought up softly. "Can I first ask..... What materials are those powders made from?""Several things. I can't name them all at once." Maelle chuckled, letting those small glass vials by his waist tinkle a bit. He still keeps them even when sleeping, not afraid of the mess they could make if they spilled or broke as he laid in his bed."I see....." Xendros frowned as his curiosity was not satiated.Maelle found that truly endearing about him. He raised himself by the toes to pat his head. "I can tell you that most of the colors and dyes are from wildberries that can only be found here in Crescentia. The reason why they mix with fire is because of a little ground coal and flint."Brother Xendros mouth turned into a small 'O'. "I see.... I see."They sat down by the edge of the bed, as the crickets sang their nightly lullaby that may be calming or disturbing to some, depending on who you ask."What are you here for, Brother Xendros. Was it only to inquire about my powders?" He asked, knowing the answer already with his golden irises dancing a little like the flames in his lamp.Xendros rubbed a hand over his forehead, and sighed."No..... I was actually here for a different matter that I want to be resolved. I could not get a wink of sleep because of it." "I can see that.""Hmm, you are observant indeed, Brother Maelle.""No.... I do not observe. Just guess. Intuition." He pointed to his stomach."Ah, I see." Brother Xendros looked at that stomach of his that was revealed a little due to his thin and flimsy clothing. In Ilvedia, it would be considered indecent, and he would have considered it indecent as well, but now he no longer cares for it.In Crescentia, do as Crescentians do. He must widen his worldview a little, and understand the other cultures if this strange land he found himself in. Of the different ideologies this strange man sitting beside him has. He must no longer be ignorant."Brother Maelle.... I came here to apologize. For my words in the monastery. I did not mean to upset you so and make you do something against your religion for it. I am just not used to anything outside my kingdom's ideology, I am a foreigner, and for that, I was insensitive and inconsiderate."He gave the Ilvedian bow for asking apologies, placing both palms together and raising them above the head, before doing a ninety-degree bow. Maelle's eyes softened, though he acted merely amused. "So this is the reason for your visit. I thought you merely wanted to chat about things outside our religion for a while.""Outside.... religion?" Xendros blinked."I want to know more of who you are not defined by Ilvedian standards and ideals. They you that was not influenced, the natural you. Your hidden aspirations, your instinct and desires, your fears and anxieties." He said with another head tilt. "I want to understand you as Xendros. Just Xendros, and not the priest. And.....""I want you to understand me as Maelle, just Maelle, and not a stranger that practice a fellowship you could not fathom."Xendros could not say anything for a while. His heart understands it, but his mind could not. But what's important is one organ managed to do so. His mind may not be able to comprehend it....But there are just times when you must block off your thoughts, and let your emotions take the reigns.And so, he told Maelle everything. His past, his experience being 'ugly' in society's eyes, those lonely days of reading and reading while locked up in a room. That itchiness of the fake skin and the gel for his eyes, his great fondness for gaining knowledge, and philosophizing in general. He shared them all, and......For the first time, he also shared his thoughts about the old man Xenophon to both Maelle and himself.He had long avoided thinking about it for a while. But for some reason, he felt like opening up to this unfathomable stranger, this force he could still not fully decipher."There was a man that is always in our Chapel. I know that he is my biological father the moment he cried upon seeing my real appearance." He said as dawn was slowly breaking out from the mountains and hillside outside the window. They had already talked until morning."And.... did he approach you?" Maelle asked since this is something he genuinely doesn't know or could have a hunch about. "Did he claim you back?""No." Xendros shook his head. "Ever since that day, I was hoping he did. I was hoping he would explain it to me, why he left me behind. I just want a single explanation, but I never heard one from him. We only interacted when he died, and I officiated his funeral." "And even then, he would not tell me his child's name. He never revealed it, said the name that I waited for so long. I do not bear a grudge or anything as superfluous as that. I do not think I hate him either. But I still hope..... I still want......""I can understand." Maelle nodded. "You wanted to have something, but did not have it. Still, you cannot bear to blame the other person, and so, you end up feeling unsatisfied. There is no proper end to the two of you."Xendros nodded. "Yes, that may be it. That is also the same with you.""The same with me?" Maelle raised an eyebrow."I do not want to remain feeling unsatisfied, that is why I talked with you now. I took the initiative to start conversation, before it's too late. I do not want it to end up like my father and I."Maelle nodded. "I am glad you did. Well, you should return soon before His Highness of Ilvedia wonders where you went---""Maelle, can you promise me that if I ever wronged you, you will tell me directly about it?"
