Chapter 49: Judas (Part Two)
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Leron jolted from his full title being called out of the blue. He faced Vladstin, and the crowd parted a path for him once they noticed that the wrestler prince was staring at him directly.
"I dedicated all my battles and pains in this ring for you, yet you cannot even spare a glance for me? What am I even doing here for if not for you?"
Leron blinked. "Your Highness, what are you saying all of a sudden?"
"Come forth, Leron of Ilvedia. I want all the people to see who I considered as my charm and motivation to continue this futile wrestling matches with greedy muscle-heads who call themselves 'wrestlers'." Vladstin then added. "But not you, Great Indigo. You have my respect."
Indigo nodded, not really minding it since he was only in it for the money too.
Leron hesitantly moved forward, his eyes still watching the suspicious figures. "I am here now, Your Highness—"
"I have commanded you to never call me Your Highness. Not when we're alone, not when we're in front of the whole Crescentia itself." Vladstin eyes seem to be exuding a great fire he had never seen before. "Do you realize what that means?"
"No...." Leron seriously does not know. He looked around the ring anxiously and whispered. "Vladstin, let's stop this nonsense—"
"Do you all know what that means?" Vladstin continued, proclaiming to the crowd: "I regard this man as my most intimate person, someone who I never want to see me as merely a prince or a wrestler or some superior. The man that I want to see all of the parts of me that makes me the same as all of you..... To love me as who I truly am."
Vladstin held his hand. "And I shall love you as who you are, no matter what that may be, all your perfections and flaws. I will love your everything, if you would just let me. Will you?"
The crowd made a few gasps from this revelation. Vladstin looked at Leron intently, waiting for his answer to this confession.
"I—" Leron was about to answer, but then saw the man with the dragon pendant make a gesture to the person with a spyglass. That man pulled out a firearm from below, aiming it at Vladstin.
Leron's body acted on its own and pulled Vladstin closer by the waist, tipping him down to avoid the hurtling bullet towards him. The bullet missed, and the spyglass man knew he had been noticed and escaped. But now they're stuck in an awkward position in front of hundreds of people.
Vladstin's golden eyes widened like two yellow moons. "L-Leron, what are you—"
Leron wasted no time to think. A kiss is the only reasonable course of action for this.
-------------
"So you did it to.... save me?" Vladstin frowned as the scene in the Looking Glass started to fade.
Leron slowly nodded.
"Then the three years where you pretended to accept my feelings does not make sense."
Vladstin walked to the edge of the rubble with a swish in his cape, seeming to show signs of confusion. He held his unbeating heart that seems to spasm for a moment, eyes flitting restlessly.
"What's wrong, Vladstin? Are you feeling the 'spark' again?" Leron walked over and tried to touch his shoulder.
But Vladstin brushed his hand off. "It does not make sense, you genuinely saving my life only to go into an act to weaken my defenses when you kill me."
Leron looked down, rubbing his arm dejectedly. "You wouldn't understand."
"If you don't want to tell me, then I will learn for myself." Vladstin furrowed his brows, channeling the blood he had received from Leron, looking for reasons by seeing history through his perspective.
--------------------
After such an unexpected display, the whole crowd paused for a while... before going crazy from hoots and cheers!
"OH MY! IT SEEMS OUR CRIMSON WOLF HAS ALREADY BEEN MARKED BY HIS MATE!"
"LONG LIVE THE PRINCE AND HIS LOVER!"
Leron was baffled by this reaction that he let go as quickly as he had pulled Vladstin in to press their lips together. The rain had stopped from this very moment, and a rainbow had even come to the scene to even add to the ridiculous change in the atmosphere. He let go of Vladstin gently but the prince's knees had weakened, causing him to buckle and fall down.
"Ah, Vladstin! Are you okay?" Leron bent down beside him and offered to help him up.
"You... You.... Kiss...." Vladstin's mind seemed to be having a hard time processing what just happened, shortcircuiting. He rubbed his lips that had been touched by Leron's own soft and heavenly ones, and he feel like he just wanted to melt into putty at this moment.
Leron frowned, also flustered with it all. He had to save Vladstin so he had no other choice but to do something so scandalous. "Did you not like that I kissed you without permission? I'm sorry—"
"I love it!" Vladstin immediately said, embracing him. "I love it, I love it, I love it! So much that it's all I could think about and my heart keeps pounding like it's trying to get off my chest... I love it so much.... I'm so happy, I—"
"Calm down, lad! We don't want the next in line for the throne to die of a frantic heart, would we?" Eltorre jested from the crowd.
"YOU'RE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER, DON'T STRESS IT, CRIMSON WOLF!" The fanatics added.
"Congratulations." Lion Fangs said emotionlessly.
"Thank you so much everyone! Thank you for all your support!" Vladstin was so happy that he kissed Leron again and again with no shame or guilt thanks to the people's encouragement.
"H-Hey, Vladstin!" Leron protested and pulled away. "News of this might reach King Lazar and Queen Vanesda! Aren't you worried about what they'll say?"
"I'm sure mother and father will support our love!" Vladstin assured him, kissing him again on the cheek. "And even if they don't, I don't care! I will fight my way to be with you if I have to!"
Leron doesn't know how to respond. He did not mean to accept Vladstin's love. But seeing him so happy and determined like this, he doesn't think he could bear to say no even if the attempted assassination did not happen.
And if their relationship would serve as a foil to his father's plans, it may be worth it.
King Casserome might realize that his ace card, his own son, has colluded with the enemy. He might believe that Leron had revealed his schemes even. He would have no power over Leron anymore.
Yet that night, instead of receiving a letter of reprimand, he received this:
"Congratulations on seducing the young savage. The best spies and assassins had always been seductresses. I had gotten impatient because I thought your hold over him is still weak. I cannot wait for his coronation anymore and sent two hunters for the wolf cub to bring his parents into mental disarray and attack while they are grieving.
But I actually find this more entertaining, the poor young wolf would never suspect his dearest would be the one to stab him. It would also give me more time to gain more shooters and gunpowder. Right now, I only have enough to wipe out 80,000 savages, but I'm still gaining more. Don't try to get caught by your lover, understand? Whatever will he say if he learned his exiled friend for years and now his wonderful sweetheart was actually a snake sent by its owner to bite him with its venom?"
Leron wanted to retch, and he did. He knows exactly all the doublespeak that his father wanted him to realize from this letter.
First, the population of Crescentia was only over 400,000 or so. The nobles and the military only make up 20,000. Meaning that he could easily win if he attacks right at this moment.
The second is that King Casserome is aware that he tried to save Vladstin, that's why he's threatening him with mind games like this. He's basically saying that Leron cannot reveal his plans because it would also reveal the fact that all this time Leron was lying to them about his exile. There's no assurance that Vladstin's infatuation for him would be strong enough to counter the sense of betrayal or the pain of the truth. As mentioned before, there's a reason why other kingdoms see Crescentians as savages. They are never forgiving to treason and lies, sticking the head of traitors and enemies in the spires of their gates.
And so, the third layer of this letter is that the King is giving Leron a lesson by letting him get stuck in this misunderstanding. He could attack, but he choose to toy with his own son first who had been stubborn lately, sympathizing with the enemy like an idiot. He will use this sympathy to his advantage, making Leron a 'seductress'. And Leron will have no choice to play this role out of fear for his life: both from his father and the Crescentians whom he betrayed.
Honestly, Leron would have preferred if his father would just kill him now. He doesn't want to learn how the Royal Family would react from the truth. Not only because he was scared of getting killed by them.
But because he was also scared that they would forgive him, and everything would be fixed. He would be a part of Crescentia forever, and he might soon forget about his home in Crescentia. He would be too complacent and believe that there would be no more problems besides his father.
Vladstin learned that Leron's greatest fear and the reason why he was such a coward wasn't death.
It was hope.
He has a very strong fear of hope and happiness because he had been made to believe his whole life that he doesn't deserve it. He was too scared to be attached to anyone because he feels like that person would soon grow tired of him. All the authentic bliss and euphoria from falling in love is so appalling to him because he believes pain will come afterwards.
But it's natural for humans to want to be happy, so he both desires and fears it. It had resulted in this self-sabotaging complex of endless loathing and cynicism. He doesn't want a bad end for such a beautiful kingdom, but he doesn't want a happily ever after either.
Because it may just be all an illusion, and the ruins and destruction that he had always been fated to have would come for him eventually.
And this letter had just increased this fear to his very limit that under the full moon night, on the balcony of the room he and Vladstin shared, Leron considered ending it all.
No hope nor anxiety over what can possibly happen. He wouldn't be around to see it. He does not believe in hell or heaven anymore. Maybe he never had. But even if they do exist, it's better to receive his punishment in hell now than be on the crossroads, to choose to be the hero or the villain. Maybe he would leave his father's letter to reveal everything, and manage to save Crescentia without joining them in their triumph, their joys, and their happiness.
And Vladstin..... might find someone better to love. Someone who doesn't live in constant fear of happiness.
Yes, death will be his sweet release, his freedom from this endless cycle of pain that he will continue to inflict upon himself.
As he was about to climb through the parapet and make the jump, a voice called out to him.
"Leron, it's time for dinner! Leron?"
Leron had quickly lowered his leg back down. "Yes?"
"What are you doing here? It's so chilly." Vladstin rubbed his hands together and cups them over Leron's face.
"I was just thinking of things..." Leron said, not quite meeting his eyes.
"Were you worried about mother and father?" Vladstin was so excited that he could not notice anything wrong. "Don't be! I already told them about us and they actually didn't mind!"
"You... You did what?" Leron's eyes were still transfixed on the void beneath that seems to be beckoning at him.
"I told them! I'm sorry I did that without permission, but I blurted it out without thinking!" Vladstin chuckled. "They said they've already noticed it for a long time. Can you believe it?"
"Hm." Leron was still dazed. "Vladstin, I have a question."
"What is it?" A giddy smile was stuck on Vladstin's face ever since their first kiss.
"What will you do if I die?"
The smile faltered. "W-Why are you asking?"
"I just wanted to know---"
"Don't say such silly things like that! Are you trying to scare me? You don't have an illness, do you? You know how much I'm scared of my loved ones dying!" Vladstin hugged him, nose scrunching and eyes watering. "Not now, Leron. I just learned that you loved me back."
"But what would you do if I really did die at this moment?" Leron continued asking. "Just hypothetically?"
"I... I don't know. I love you so much." The young Vladstin was a teenager this time with many strong emotions, so he ended up saying: "If you die..... Then I might as well die too."
Leron came into clarity. He fooled this lovesick boy so much to make him say things like that. And knowing Vladstin, he may even mean it. Vladstin would die from his hands either way.... so why not give him a little bit of happiness on his remaining days to live?
So he did not jump that night. He performed another suicide: by choosing a route where he will carry the burden of his sins forever.. He killed his sympathetic self entirely and became the ruthless, venomous snake his father wanted him to be.
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Leron jolted from his full title being called out of the blue. He faced Vladstin, and the crowd parted a path for him once they noticed that the wrestler prince was staring at him directly.
"I dedicated all my battles and pains in this ring for you, yet you cannot even spare a glance for me? What am I even doing here for if not for you?"
Leron blinked. "Your Highness, what are you saying all of a sudden?"
"Come forth, Leron of Ilvedia. I want all the people to see who I considered as my charm and motivation to continue this futile wrestling matches with greedy muscle-heads who call themselves 'wrestlers'." Vladstin then added. "But not you, Great Indigo. You have my respect."
Indigo nodded, not really minding it since he was only in it for the money too.
Leron hesitantly moved forward, his eyes still watching the suspicious figures. "I am here now, Your Highness—"
"I have commanded you to never call me Your Highness. Not when we're alone, not when we're in front of the whole Crescentia itself." Vladstin eyes seem to be exuding a great fire he had never seen before. "Do you realize what that means?"
"No...." Leron seriously does not know. He looked around the ring anxiously and whispered. "Vladstin, let's stop this nonsense—"
"Do you all know what that means?" Vladstin continued, proclaiming to the crowd: "I regard this man as my most intimate person, someone who I never want to see me as merely a prince or a wrestler or some superior. The man that I want to see all of the parts of me that makes me the same as all of you..... To love me as who I truly am."
Vladstin held his hand. "And I shall love you as who you are, no matter what that may be, all your perfections and flaws. I will love your everything, if you would just let me. Will you?"
The crowd made a few gasps from this revelation. Vladstin looked at Leron intently, waiting for his answer to this confession.
"I—" Leron was about to answer, but then saw the man with the dragon pendant make a gesture to the person with a spyglass. That man pulled out a firearm from below, aiming it at Vladstin.
Leron's body acted on its own and pulled Vladstin closer by the waist, tipping him down to avoid the hurtling bullet towards him. The bullet missed, and the spyglass man knew he had been noticed and escaped. But now they're stuck in an awkward position in front of hundreds of people.
Vladstin's golden eyes widened like two yellow moons. "L-Leron, what are you—"
Leron wasted no time to think. A kiss is the only reasonable course of action for this.
-------------
"So you did it to.... save me?" Vladstin frowned as the scene in the Looking Glass started to fade.
Leron slowly nodded.
"Then the three years where you pretended to accept my feelings does not make sense."
Vladstin walked to the edge of the rubble with a swish in his cape, seeming to show signs of confusion. He held his unbeating heart that seems to spasm for a moment, eyes flitting restlessly.
"What's wrong, Vladstin? Are you feeling the 'spark' again?" Leron walked over and tried to touch his shoulder.
But Vladstin brushed his hand off. "It does not make sense, you genuinely saving my life only to go into an act to weaken my defenses when you kill me."
Leron looked down, rubbing his arm dejectedly. "You wouldn't understand."
"If you don't want to tell me, then I will learn for myself." Vladstin furrowed his brows, channeling the blood he had received from Leron, looking for reasons by seeing history through his perspective.
--------------------
After such an unexpected display, the whole crowd paused for a while... before going crazy from hoots and cheers!
"OH MY! IT SEEMS OUR CRIMSON WOLF HAS ALREADY BEEN MARKED BY HIS MATE!"
"LONG LIVE THE PRINCE AND HIS LOVER!"
Leron was baffled by this reaction that he let go as quickly as he had pulled Vladstin in to press their lips together. The rain had stopped from this very moment, and a rainbow had even come to the scene to even add to the ridiculous change in the atmosphere. He let go of Vladstin gently but the prince's knees had weakened, causing him to buckle and fall down.
"Ah, Vladstin! Are you okay?" Leron bent down beside him and offered to help him up.
"You... You.... Kiss...." Vladstin's mind seemed to be having a hard time processing what just happened, shortcircuiting. He rubbed his lips that had been touched by Leron's own soft and heavenly ones, and he feel like he just wanted to melt into putty at this moment.
Leron frowned, also flustered with it all. He had to save Vladstin so he had no other choice but to do something so scandalous. "Did you not like that I kissed you without permission? I'm sorry—"
"I love it!" Vladstin immediately said, embracing him. "I love it, I love it, I love it! So much that it's all I could think about and my heart keeps pounding like it's trying to get off my chest... I love it so much.... I'm so happy, I—"
"Calm down, lad! We don't want the next in line for the throne to die of a frantic heart, would we?" Eltorre jested from the crowd.
"YOU'RE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER, DON'T STRESS IT, CRIMSON WOLF!" The fanatics added.
"Congratulations." Lion Fangs said emotionlessly.
"Thank you so much everyone! Thank you for all your support!" Vladstin was so happy that he kissed Leron again and again with no shame or guilt thanks to the people's encouragement.
"H-Hey, Vladstin!" Leron protested and pulled away. "News of this might reach King Lazar and Queen Vanesda! Aren't you worried about what they'll say?"
"I'm sure mother and father will support our love!" Vladstin assured him, kissing him again on the cheek. "And even if they don't, I don't care! I will fight my way to be with you if I have to!"
Leron doesn't know how to respond. He did not mean to accept Vladstin's love. But seeing him so happy and determined like this, he doesn't think he could bear to say no even if the attempted assassination did not happen.
And if their relationship would serve as a foil to his father's plans, it may be worth it.
King Casserome might realize that his ace card, his own son, has colluded with the enemy. He might believe that Leron had revealed his schemes even. He would have no power over Leron anymore.
Yet that night, instead of receiving a letter of reprimand, he received this:
"Congratulations on seducing the young savage. The best spies and assassins had always been seductresses. I had gotten impatient because I thought your hold over him is still weak. I cannot wait for his coronation anymore and sent two hunters for the wolf cub to bring his parents into mental disarray and attack while they are grieving.
But I actually find this more entertaining, the poor young wolf would never suspect his dearest would be the one to stab him. It would also give me more time to gain more shooters and gunpowder. Right now, I only have enough to wipe out 80,000 savages, but I'm still gaining more. Don't try to get caught by your lover, understand? Whatever will he say if he learned his exiled friend for years and now his wonderful sweetheart was actually a snake sent by its owner to bite him with its venom?"
Leron wanted to retch, and he did. He knows exactly all the doublespeak that his father wanted him to realize from this letter.
First, the population of Crescentia was only over 400,000 or so. The nobles and the military only make up 20,000. Meaning that he could easily win if he attacks right at this moment.
The second is that King Casserome is aware that he tried to save Vladstin, that's why he's threatening him with mind games like this. He's basically saying that Leron cannot reveal his plans because it would also reveal the fact that all this time Leron was lying to them about his exile. There's no assurance that Vladstin's infatuation for him would be strong enough to counter the sense of betrayal or the pain of the truth. As mentioned before, there's a reason why other kingdoms see Crescentians as savages. They are never forgiving to treason and lies, sticking the head of traitors and enemies in the spires of their gates.
And so, the third layer of this letter is that the King is giving Leron a lesson by letting him get stuck in this misunderstanding. He could attack, but he choose to toy with his own son first who had been stubborn lately, sympathizing with the enemy like an idiot. He will use this sympathy to his advantage, making Leron a 'seductress'. And Leron will have no choice to play this role out of fear for his life: both from his father and the Crescentians whom he betrayed.
Honestly, Leron would have preferred if his father would just kill him now. He doesn't want to learn how the Royal Family would react from the truth. Not only because he was scared of getting killed by them.
But because he was also scared that they would forgive him, and everything would be fixed. He would be a part of Crescentia forever, and he might soon forget about his home in Crescentia. He would be too complacent and believe that there would be no more problems besides his father.
Vladstin learned that Leron's greatest fear and the reason why he was such a coward wasn't death.
It was hope.
He has a very strong fear of hope and happiness because he had been made to believe his whole life that he doesn't deserve it. He was too scared to be attached to anyone because he feels like that person would soon grow tired of him. All the authentic bliss and euphoria from falling in love is so appalling to him because he believes pain will come afterwards.
But it's natural for humans to want to be happy, so he both desires and fears it. It had resulted in this self-sabotaging complex of endless loathing and cynicism. He doesn't want a bad end for such a beautiful kingdom, but he doesn't want a happily ever after either.
Because it may just be all an illusion, and the ruins and destruction that he had always been fated to have would come for him eventually.
And this letter had just increased this fear to his very limit that under the full moon night, on the balcony of the room he and Vladstin shared, Leron considered ending it all.
No hope nor anxiety over what can possibly happen. He wouldn't be around to see it. He does not believe in hell or heaven anymore. Maybe he never had. But even if they do exist, it's better to receive his punishment in hell now than be on the crossroads, to choose to be the hero or the villain. Maybe he would leave his father's letter to reveal everything, and manage to save Crescentia without joining them in their triumph, their joys, and their happiness.
And Vladstin..... might find someone better to love. Someone who doesn't live in constant fear of happiness.
Yes, death will be his sweet release, his freedom from this endless cycle of pain that he will continue to inflict upon himself.
As he was about to climb through the parapet and make the jump, a voice called out to him.
"Leron, it's time for dinner! Leron?"
Leron had quickly lowered his leg back down. "Yes?"
"What are you doing here? It's so chilly." Vladstin rubbed his hands together and cups them over Leron's face.
"I was just thinking of things..." Leron said, not quite meeting his eyes.
"Were you worried about mother and father?" Vladstin was so excited that he could not notice anything wrong. "Don't be! I already told them about us and they actually didn't mind!"
"You... You did what?" Leron's eyes were still transfixed on the void beneath that seems to be beckoning at him.
"I told them! I'm sorry I did that without permission, but I blurted it out without thinking!" Vladstin chuckled. "They said they've already noticed it for a long time. Can you believe it?"
"Hm." Leron was still dazed. "Vladstin, I have a question."
"What is it?" A giddy smile was stuck on Vladstin's face ever since their first kiss.
"What will you do if I die?"
The smile faltered. "W-Why are you asking?"
"I just wanted to know---"
"Don't say such silly things like that! Are you trying to scare me? You don't have an illness, do you? You know how much I'm scared of my loved ones dying!" Vladstin hugged him, nose scrunching and eyes watering. "Not now, Leron. I just learned that you loved me back."
"But what would you do if I really did die at this moment?" Leron continued asking. "Just hypothetically?"
"I... I don't know. I love you so much." The young Vladstin was a teenager this time with many strong emotions, so he ended up saying: "If you die..... Then I might as well die too."
Leron came into clarity. He fooled this lovesick boy so much to make him say things like that. And knowing Vladstin, he may even mean it. Vladstin would die from his hands either way.... so why not give him a little bit of happiness on his remaining days to live?
So he did not jump that night. He performed another suicide: by choosing a route where he will carry the burden of his sins forever.. He killed his sympathetic self entirely and became the ruthless, venomous snake his father wanted him to be.
Leron jolted from his full title being called out of the blue. He faced Vladstin, and the crowd parted a path for him once they noticed that the wrestler prince was staring at him directly. "I dedicated all my battles and pains in this ring for you, yet you cannot even spare a glance for me? What am I even doing here for if not for you?"Leron blinked. "Your Highness, what are you saying all of a sudden?""Come forth, Leron of Ilvedia. I want all the people to see who I considered as my charm and motivation to continue this futile wrestling matches with greedy muscle-heads who call themselves 'wrestlers'." Vladstin then added. "But not you, Great Indigo. You have my respect."Indigo nodded, not really minding it since he was only in it for the money too.Leron hesitantly moved forward, his eyes still watching the suspicious figures. "I am here now, Your Highness""I have commanded you to never call me Your Highness. Not when we're alone, not when we're in front of the whole Crescentia itself." Vladstin eyes seem to be exuding a great fire he had never seen before. "Do you realize what that means?""No...." Leron seriously does not know. He looked around the ring anxiously and whispered. "Vladstin, let's stop this nonsense""Do you all know what that means?" Vladstin continued, proclaiming to the crowd: "I regard this man as my most intimate person, someone who I never want to see me as merely a prince or a wrestler or some superior. The man that I want to see all of the parts of me that makes me the same as all of you..... To love me as who I truly am."Vladstin held his hand. "And I shall love you as who you are, no matter what that may be, all your perfections and flaws. I will love your everything, if you would just let me. Will you?"The crowd made a few gasps from this revelation. Vladstin looked at Leron intently, waiting for his answer to this confession. "I" Leron was about to answer, but then saw the man with the dragon pendant make a gesture to the person with a spyglass. That man pulled out a firearm from below, aiming it at Vladstin.Leron's body acted on its own and pulled Vladstin closer by the waist, tipping him down to avoid the hurtling bullet towards him. The bullet missed, and the spyglass man knew he had been noticed and escaped. But now they're stuck in an awkward position in front of hundreds of people.Vladstin's golden eyes widened like two yellow moons. "L-Leron, what are you"Leron wasted no time to think. A kiss is the only reasonable course of action for this.-------------"So you did it to.... save me?" Vladstin frowned as the scene in the Looking Glass started to fade.Leron slowly nodded."Then the three years where you pretended to accept my feelings does not make sense."Vladstin walked to the edge of the rubble with a swish in his cape, seeming to show signs of confusion. He held his unbeating heart that seems to spasm for a moment, eyes flitting restlessly."What's wrong, Vladstin? Are you feeling the 'spark' again?" Leron walked over and tried to touch his shoulder.But Vladstin brushed his hand off. "It does not make sense, you genuinely saving my life only to go into an act to weaken my defenses when you kill me."Leron looked down, rubbing his arm dejectedly. "You wouldn't understand.""If you don't want to tell me, then I will learn for myself." Vladstin furrowed his brows, channeling the blood he had received from Leron, looking for reasons by seeing history through his perspective.--------------------After such an unexpected display, the whole crowd paused for a while... before going crazy from hoots and cheers!"OH MY! IT SEEMS OUR CRIMSON WOLF HAS ALREADY BEEN MARKED BY HIS MATE!""LONG LIVE THE PRINCE AND HIS LOVER!"Leron was baffled by this reaction that he let go as quickly as he had pulled Vladstin in to press their lips together. The rain had stopped from this very moment, and a rainbow had even come to the scene to even add to the ridiculous change in the atmosphere. He let go of Vladstin gently but the prince's knees had weakened, causing him to buckle and fall down."Ah, Vladstin! Are you okay?" Leron bent down beside him and offered to help him up."You... You.... Kiss...." Vladstin's mind seemed to be having a hard time processing what just happened, shortcircuiting. He rubbed his lips that had been touched by Leron's own soft and heavenly ones, and he feel like he just wanted to melt into putty at this moment.Leron frowned, also flustered with it all. He had to save Vladstin so he had no other choice but to do something so scandalous. "Did you not like that I kissed you without permission? I'm sorry""I love it!" Vladstin immediately said, embracing him. "I love it, I love it, I love it! So much that it's all I could think about and my heart keeps pounding like it's trying to get off my chest... I love it so much.... I'm so happy, I""Calm down, lad! We don't want the next in line for the throne to die of a frantic heart, would we?" Eltorre jested from the crowd. "YOU'RE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER, DON'T STRESS IT, CRIMSON WOLF!" The fanatics added. "Congratulations." Lion Fangs said emotionlessly. "Thank you so much everyone! Thank you for all your support!" Vladstin was so happy that he kissed Leron again and again with no shame or guilt thanks to the people's encouragement. "H-Hey, Vladstin!" Leron protested and pulled away. "News of this might reach King Lazar and Queen Vanesda! Aren't you worried about what they'll say?""I'm sure mother and father will support our love!" Vladstin assured him, kissing him again on the cheek. "And even if they don't, I don't care! I will fight my way to be with you if I have to!"Leron doesn't know how to respond. He did not mean to accept Vladstin's love. But seeing him so happy and determined like this, he doesn't think he could bear to say no even if the attempted assassination did not happen. And if their relationship would serve as a foil to his father's plans, it may be worth it.King Casserome might realize that his ace card, his own son, has colluded with the enemy. He might believe that Leron had revealed his schemes even. He would have no power over Leron anymore.Yet that night, instead of receiving a letter of reprimand, he received this:"Congratulations on seducing the young savage. The best spies and assassins had always been seductresses. I had gotten impatient because I thought your hold over him is still weak. I cannot wait for his coronation anymore and sent two hunters for the wolf cub to bring his parents into mental disarray and attack while they are grieving.But I actually find this more entertaining, the poor young wolf would never suspect his dearest would be the one to stab him. It would also give me more time to gain more shooters and gunpowder. Right now, I only have enough to wipe out 80,000 savages, but I'm still gaining more. Don't try to get caught by your lover, understand? Whatever will he say if he learned his exiled friend for years and now his wonderful sweetheart was actually a snake sent by its owner to bite him with its venom?"Leron wanted to retch, and he did. He knows exactly all the doublespeak that his father wanted him to realize from this letter.First, the population of Crescentia was only over 400,000 or so. The nobles and the military only make up 20,000. Meaning that he could easily win if he attacks right at this moment.The second is that King Casserome is aware that he tried to save Vladstin, that's why he's threatening him with mind games like this. He's basically saying that Leron cannot reveal his plans because it would also reveal the fact that all this time Leron was lying to them about his exile. There's no assurance that Vladstin's infatuation for him would be strong enough to counter the sense of betrayal or the pain of the truth. As mentioned before, there's a reason why other kingdoms see Crescentians as savages. They are never forgiving to treason and lies, sticking the head of traitors and enemies in the spires of their gates.And so, the third layer of this letter is that the King is giving Leron a lesson by letting him get stuck in this misunderstanding. He could attack, but he choose to toy with his own son first who had been stubborn lately, sympathizing with the enemy like an idiot. He will use this sympathy to his advantage, making Leron a 'seductress'. And Leron will have no choice to play this role out of fear for his life: both from his father and the Crescentians whom he betrayed.Honestly, Leron would have preferred if his father would just kill him now. He doesn't want to learn how the Royal Family would react from the truth. Not only because he was scared of getting killed by them.But because he was also scared that they would forgive him, and everything would be fixed. He would be a part of Crescentia forever, and he might soon forget about his home in Crescentia. He would be too complacent and believe that there would be no more problems besides his father. Vladstin learned that Leron's greatest fear and the reason why he was such a coward wasn't death.It was hope.He has a very strong fear of hope and happiness because he had been made to believe his whole life that he doesn't deserve it. He was too scared to be attached to anyone because he feels like that person would soon grow tired of him. All the authentic bliss and euphoria from falling in love is so appalling to him because he believes pain will come afterwards. But it's natural for humans to want to be happy, so he both desires and fears it. It had resulted in this self-sabotaging complex of endless loathing and cynicism. He doesn't want a bad end for such a beautiful kingdom, but he doesn't want a happily ever after either. Because it may just be all an illusion, and the ruins and destruction that he had always been fated to have would come for him eventually.And this letter had just increased this fear to his very limit that under the full moon night, on the balcony of the room he and Vladstin shared, Leron considered ending it all.No hope nor anxiety over what can possibly happen. He wouldn't be around to see it. He does not believe in hell or heaven anymore. Maybe he never had. But even if they do exist, it's better to receive his punishment in hell now than be on the crossroads, to choose to be the hero or the villain. Maybe he would leave his father's letter to reveal everything, and manage to save Crescentia without joining them in their triumph, their joys, and their happiness. And Vladstin..... might find someone better to love. Someone who doesn't live in constant fear of happiness.Yes, death will be his sweet release, his freedom from this endless cycle of pain that he will continue to inflict upon himself.As he was about to climb through the parapet and make the jump, a voice called out to him."Leron, it's time for dinner! Leron?"Leron had quickly lowered his leg back down. "Yes?""What are you doing here? It's so chilly." Vladstin rubbed his hands together and cups them over Leron's face. "I was just thinking of things..." Leron said, not quite meeting his eyes."Were you worried about mother and father?" Vladstin was so excited that he could not notice anything wrong. "Don't be! I already told them about us and they actually didn't mind!""You... You did what?" Leron's eyes were still transfixed on the void beneath that seems to be beckoning at him."I told them! I'm sorry I did that without permission, but I blurted it out without thinking!" Vladstin chuckled. "They said they've already noticed it for a long time. Can you believe it?""Hm." Leron was still dazed. "Vladstin, I have a question.""What is it?" A giddy smile was stuck on Vladstin's face ever since their first kiss."What will you do if I die?"The smile faltered. "W-Why are you asking?""I just wanted to know---""Don't say such silly things like that! Are you trying to scare me? You don't have an illness, do you? You know how much I'm scared of my loved ones dying!" Vladstin hugged him, nose scrunching and eyes watering. "Not now, Leron. I just learned that you loved me back.""But what would you do if I really did die at this moment?" Leron continued asking. "Just hypothetically?""I... I don't know. I love you so much." The young Vladstin was a teenager this time with many strong emotions, so he ended up saying: "If you die..... Then I might as well die too."Leron came into clarity. He fooled this lovesick boy so much to make him say things like that. And knowing Vladstin, he may even mean it. Vladstin would die from his hands either way.... so why not give him a little bit of happiness on his remaining days to live?So he did not jump that night. He performed another suicide: by choosing a route where he will carry the burden of his sins forever.. He killed his sympathetic self entirely and became the ruthless, venomous snake his father wanted him to be.
