Chapter 190: CHOOSE WISELY
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Ruth's heart felt less burdened after she talked with Thea about why she did not want to work in 'the great manor'. Thea was still unconvinced strangely.
Her opinion of Edwin O'Dell had changed considerably over the past months. Yet the way she vehemently defended him and considered him as a good person in front of Ruth made Ruth confused.
"Oh dear! What happened to you kitty?" Mrs Payne picked Zoe in her arms when Ruth put her on the floor after carrying her all the way home.
Her hands turned numb due to pain, and she shook, stretched them.
"She hurt her front leg and is having difficulty in walking." Ruth placed her small bag aside and went to wash her hands and face.
"Oh, my poor baby! Come, we will fix you.".
Zoe liked Mrs Payne a lot. The old lady was caring and showered her attention and love. Besides that, she was not the one Edwin had on his mind.
Zoe sat silently with her front legs stretched forward and her head resting down on them.
Ruth checked upon Zoe before starting preparing for dinner. She made a simple salad and potatoes with bread. She made a mental note to buy some eggs the next day as she coveted a tasty egg sandwich.
She poured some milk in a bowl for Zoe and again checked on her injured leg. What might have happened with her? She wondered.
"Mrs Payne, are you taking your medicines on time?" She asked before putting a bite of the salad in her mouth.
"Yes, dear. Do not worry about me."
Ruth became silent for a while then said, "I am sorry?"
"For what Ruth?"
"For not able to take good care of you. I know how lonely you must feel, alone in the house the whole day. Mr Payne's memories must have reminded you of the void in our lives. I should be here with you at such times, but I can not!
I feel very bad, Mrs Payne. And your medicines... the physician has prescribed four, but I could buy only two of them. It is all just so... frustrating!"
Ruth had put her spoon down on her plate as she fidgeted with her fingers looking down in her lap.
Studying the young beautiful woman in front of her, Mrs Payne realised how she was ageing rapidly than her desired pace.
She looked exhausted with red eyes and bags underneath them. Her lips had lost their softness, and the delicate skin shredded in layers.
Mrs Payne took Ruth's hands in hers. She ran her fingers on her hard and rough palm. The hands which should caress her husband's and children's face had turned into sandpaper.
"Ruth, look at me, my child." Mrs Payne beckoned her with a gentle voice.
Zoe watched them intently, forgetting about her favourite food left half-finished in a bowl.
Ruth slowly looked up at Mrs Payne's kind face. The smile on the old lady's face intensified her guilt.
"Ruth... sometimes I wonder what good things I must have done in my previous life that God has sent you in my life?! I know how you must be feeling and I understand you. Because I share your feeling."
Ruth looked at her, puzzled.
"I can not work and spend my days at home. I want to help you, but I can not. You also have that void in your life after his loss. You did not even get a chance to mourn over your loss.
No one asked you how you felt or was there something they could do for you. Not even me! I feel ashamed of my selfishness."
Ruth shook her head while her tears betrayed her will to gather in her eyes. She was about to protest, but Mrs Payne stopped her.
"Life is unfair, Ruth. It always was and will always be. We can not predict what it will throw our way. We have no control over that. All we can do is be prepared to face it, whatever it may be.
And you are doing just that. And my darling, that is the right thing to do. Do not ever feel that you are lacking in fulfilling your responsibilities. You are doing a splendid job with life, and I am so proud of you!
I am sure your Mr Payne must be smiling proudly at you from heaven!" Mrs Payne looked outside the window at the night sky with teary eyes.
"Mrs Payne!"
"Do you kow what my husband used to say about the responsibilities?"
Ruth listened to her every word attentively.
"He used to say that they are like a faith. If you believe that there is God, then only you can devote yourself to him. But if you do not believe in God, there is no question of devotion.
Responsibilities are just like that. If you believe in them, then only you try to fulfil them, dedicate your efforts for them. But if you do not believe in them, you do not need to think about them and burden yourself.
Ruth... I always wanted to tell you this. Choose your responsibilities wisely. You do not need to carry each one of them. Sometimes, you have to think by mind and not heart for your gains."
Ruth had never thought like that. Her mind had never walked that path before. But now that Mrs Payne showed her a new way, she was hesitant to discover it.
"But will it not be called selfishness? Running away or not acknowledging your responsibility is a sign of ungratefulness." Ruth objected.
Mrs Payne expected that reaction from Ruth. She knew her well enough.
"Ruth, you are too good for this lousy world! And that is why I am telling you this. Prioritising your happiness is not always have to be called selfishness. Everyone has a natural right of seeking happiness. And so do you!
But if you keep burdening your shoulders with unnecessary responsibilities and guilt, blame yourself for the things that you have no control over, then how you are going to find your happiness?"
Ruth was thoughtful. Her mind trying to process what Mrs Payne said.
"Always remember that you are the sailor of your boat. It is up to you if you want to sail your boat to the shore or go straight in the mouth of tsunami waves.
I know you do not agree with me at this moment. But the moment you will realise the core of what I said, you will be liberated of that unnecessary burden and can search for your happiness."
Mrs Payne held Ruth's shoulders firmly and stared straight into her hazel eyes.
"No one and I mean no one can do that for you, Ruth. We all- I, Thea, Rees, the man who will love you wholeheartedly, your children- we all can only be a medium of your happiness, but the source... it lies in you!
Only you can search for it, grab it and cherish it! And there is nothing wrong with it as long as your heart and mind do not say otherwise. So stop feeling guilty and overburdening yourself. I love you, and you love me is what matters in the end!"
Ruth nodded her head, understanding with a broken smile and hugged the old lady who had the same expressions as her.
Zoe watched the two women fighting all the odds, and finding new hope to live every day. They were not ready to give up. They were not willing to complain. They were not looking for an easy way out.
They only wanted to keep on fighting till their last breaths!
'Maybe humans are not as weak as the supernatural creatures think them to be!'
*
*
*
"Come on Lisa! i know you can do better than this. Let's try one more time! Hee!"
Darius had nothing to do in the palace, and his mind could not settle down on one thing. So he decided to invest his time in his favourite thing.
Marcus, who stood not far away from him, watched Darius throwing a ball made up of cloth wrapped around a stone.
"Go Lisa, Go! Get it!" Darius cheered excitedly like a kid.
Lisa was tired and hungry. Her limbs ached after crawling on her hands and knees for an hour now. Her body was already weak after weeks of torture.
Her body was covered in bite marks. Some fresh, some old and some which would remain on her body till her last breath, reminding her of this time in a golden cage.
She tiredly pushed herself forward on her hands and knees. Her movements were slow and painful. It took her more than a minute to cross the distance of fifteen steps. But she finally made it.
She was not allowed to touch the ball with her hands. She was supposed to either pick it in her mouth or roll it with her nose to bring it back to Darius.
When she went back to him with the ball, he leaned down to her eye level and smiled proudly. He patted her head and said, "You are getting good in this, Lisa! You will do better soon."
Lisa's eyes welled up hearing that. She could not imagine how many days she had to endure this torture, humiliation, the constant fear of death or even worse.
"Oooo... look, little Lisa is crying but I have done nothing to upset you, sweetheart, now have I?" He pouted innocently.
Mustering her courage she said, "Then let me go! Stop treating me like a dog!"
Darius stared at her for a moment.
"Why Lisa? I thought you like it here with me." He said that in such a way as if he was disappointed and hurt.
Marcus smirked, shaking his head. That young vampire was good with it!
"NO! I do not like this! Who likes being played around and treated like a dog?" Lisa yelled, her eyes glaring at Darius in the hope that her looks could kill him.
"But is it not what you humans do with their pets and think that those animals like it?!"
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Ruth's heart felt less burdened after she talked with Thea about why she did not want to work in 'the great manor'. Thea was still unconvinced strangely.
Her opinion of Edwin O'Dell had changed considerably over the past months. Yet the way she vehemently defended him and considered him as a good person in front of Ruth made Ruth confused.
"Oh dear! What happened to you kitty?" Mrs Payne picked Zoe in her arms when Ruth put her on the floor after carrying her all the way home.
Her hands turned numb due to pain, and she shook, stretched them.
"She hurt her front leg and is having difficulty in walking." Ruth placed her small bag aside and went to wash her hands and face.
"Oh, my poor baby! Come, we will fix you.".
Zoe liked Mrs Payne a lot. The old lady was caring and showered her attention and love. Besides that, she was not the one Edwin had on his mind.
Zoe sat silently with her front legs stretched forward and her head resting down on them.
Ruth checked upon Zoe before starting preparing for dinner. She made a simple salad and potatoes with bread. She made a mental note to buy some eggs the next day as she coveted a tasty egg sandwich.
She poured some milk in a bowl for Zoe and again checked on her injured leg. What might have happened with her? She wondered.
"Mrs Payne, are you taking your medicines on time?" She asked before putting a bite of the salad in her mouth.
"Yes, dear. Do not worry about me."
Ruth became silent for a while then said, "I am sorry?"
"For what Ruth?"
"For not able to take good care of you. I know how lonely you must feel, alone in the house the whole day. Mr Payne's memories must have reminded you of the void in our lives. I should be here with you at such times, but I can not!
I feel very bad, Mrs Payne. And your medicines... the physician has prescribed four, but I could buy only two of them. It is all just so... frustrating!"
Ruth had put her spoon down on her plate as she fidgeted with her fingers looking down in her lap.
Studying the young beautiful woman in front of her, Mrs Payne realised how she was ageing rapidly than her desired pace.
She looked exhausted with red eyes and bags underneath them. Her lips had lost their softness, and the delicate skin shredded in layers.
Mrs Payne took Ruth's hands in hers. She ran her fingers on her hard and rough palm. The hands which should caress her husband's and children's face had turned into sandpaper.
"Ruth, look at me, my child." Mrs Payne beckoned her with a gentle voice.
Zoe watched them intently, forgetting about her favourite food left half-finished in a bowl.
Ruth slowly looked up at Mrs Payne's kind face. The smile on the old lady's face intensified her guilt.
"Ruth... sometimes I wonder what good things I must have done in my previous life that God has sent you in my life?! I know how you must be feeling and I understand you. Because I share your feeling."
Ruth looked at her, puzzled.
"I can not work and spend my days at home. I want to help you, but I can not. You also have that void in your life after his loss. You did not even get a chance to mourn over your loss.
No one asked you how you felt or was there something they could do for you. Not even me! I feel ashamed of my selfishness."
Ruth shook her head while her tears betrayed her will to gather in her eyes. She was about to protest, but Mrs Payne stopped her.
"Life is unfair, Ruth. It always was and will always be. We can not predict what it will throw our way. We have no control over that. All we can do is be prepared to face it, whatever it may be.
And you are doing just that. And my darling, that is the right thing to do. Do not ever feel that you are lacking in fulfilling your responsibilities. You are doing a splendid job with life, and I am so proud of you!
I am sure your Mr Payne must be smiling proudly at you from heaven!" Mrs Payne looked outside the window at the night sky with teary eyes.
"Mrs Payne!"
"Do you kow what my husband used to say about the responsibilities?"
Ruth listened to her every word attentively.
"He used to say that they are like a faith. If you believe that there is God, then only you can devote yourself to him. But if you do not believe in God, there is no question of devotion.
Responsibilities are just like that. If you believe in them, then only you try to fulfil them, dedicate your efforts for them. But if you do not believe in them, you do not need to think about them and burden yourself.
Ruth... I always wanted to tell you this. Choose your responsibilities wisely. You do not need to carry each one of them. Sometimes, you have to think by mind and not heart for your gains."
Ruth had never thought like that. Her mind had never walked that path before. But now that Mrs Payne showed her a new way, she was hesitant to discover it.
"But will it not be called selfishness? Running away or not acknowledging your responsibility is a sign of ungratefulness." Ruth objected.
Mrs Payne expected that reaction from Ruth. She knew her well enough.
"Ruth, you are too good for this lousy world! And that is why I am telling you this. Prioritising your happiness is not always have to be called selfishness. Everyone has a natural right of seeking happiness. And so do you!
But if you keep burdening your shoulders with unnecessary responsibilities and guilt, blame yourself for the things that you have no control over, then how you are going to find your happiness?"
Ruth was thoughtful. Her mind trying to process what Mrs Payne said.
"Always remember that you are the sailor of your boat. It is up to you if you want to sail your boat to the shore or go straight in the mouth of tsunami waves.
I know you do not agree with me at this moment. But the moment you will realise the core of what I said, you will be liberated of that unnecessary burden and can search for your happiness."
Mrs Payne held Ruth's shoulders firmly and stared straight into her hazel eyes.
"No one and I mean no one can do that for you, Ruth. We all- I, Thea, Rees, the man who will love you wholeheartedly, your children- we all can only be a medium of your happiness, but the source... it lies in you!
Only you can search for it, grab it and cherish it! And there is nothing wrong with it as long as your heart and mind do not say otherwise. So stop feeling guilty and overburdening yourself. I love you, and you love me is what matters in the end!"
Ruth nodded her head, understanding with a broken smile and hugged the old lady who had the same expressions as her.
Zoe watched the two women fighting all the odds, and finding new hope to live every day. They were not ready to give up. They were not willing to complain. They were not looking for an easy way out.
They only wanted to keep on fighting till their last breaths!
'Maybe humans are not as weak as the supernatural creatures think them to be!'
*
*
*
"Come on Lisa! i know you can do better than this. Let's try one more time! Hee!"
Darius had nothing to do in the palace, and his mind could not settle down on one thing. So he decided to invest his time in his favourite thing.
Marcus, who stood not far away from him, watched Darius throwing a ball made up of cloth wrapped around a stone.
"Go Lisa, Go! Get it!" Darius cheered excitedly like a kid.
Lisa was tired and hungry. Her limbs ached after crawling on her hands and knees for an hour now. Her body was already weak after weeks of torture.
Her body was covered in bite marks. Some fresh, some old and some which would remain on her body till her last breath, reminding her of this time in a golden cage.
She tiredly pushed herself forward on her hands and knees. Her movements were slow and painful. It took her more than a minute to cross the distance of fifteen steps. But she finally made it.
She was not allowed to touch the ball with her hands. She was supposed to either pick it in her mouth or roll it with her nose to bring it back to Darius.
When she went back to him with the ball, he leaned down to her eye level and smiled proudly. He patted her head and said, "You are getting good in this, Lisa! You will do better soon."
Lisa's eyes welled up hearing that. She could not imagine how many days she had to endure this torture, humiliation, the constant fear of death or even worse.
"Oooo... look, little Lisa is crying but I have done nothing to upset you, sweetheart, now have I?" He pouted innocently.
Mustering her courage she said, "Then let me go! Stop treating me like a dog!"
Darius stared at her for a moment.
"Why Lisa? I thought you like it here with me." He said that in such a way as if he was disappointed and hurt.
Marcus smirked, shaking his head. That young vampire was good with it!
"NO! I do not like this! Who likes being played around and treated like a dog?" Lisa yelled, her eyes glaring at Darius in the hope that her looks could kill him.
"But is it not what you humans do with their pets and think that those animals like it?!"
Ruth's heart felt less burdened after she talked with Thea about why she did not want to work in 'the great manor'. Thea was still unconvinced strangely. Her opinion of Edwin O'Dell had changed considerably over the past months. Yet the way she vehemently defended him and considered him as a good person in front of Ruth made Ruth confused. "Oh dear! What happened to you kitty?" Mrs Payne picked Zoe in her arms when Ruth put her on the floor after carrying her all the way home. Her hands turned numb due to pain, and she shook, stretched them. "She hurt her front leg and is having difficulty in walking." Ruth placed her small bag aside and went to wash her hands and face. "Oh, my poor baby! Come, we will fix you.". Zoe liked Mrs Payne a lot. The old lady was caring and showered her attention and love. Besides that, she was not the one Edwin had on his mind. Zoe sat silently with her front legs stretched forward and her head resting down on them. Ruth checked upon Zoe before starting preparing for dinner. She made a simple salad and potatoes with bread. She made a mental note to buy some eggs the next day as she coveted a tasty egg sandwich. She poured some milk in a bowl for Zoe and again checked on her injured leg. What might have happened with her? She wondered. "Mrs Payne, are you taking your medicines on time?" She asked before putting a bite of the salad in her mouth. "Yes, dear. Do not worry about me." Ruth became silent for a while then said, "I am sorry?" "For what Ruth?" "For not able to take good care of you. I know how lonely you must feel, alone in the house the whole day. Mr Payne's memories must have reminded you of the void in our lives. I should be here with you at such times, but I can not! I feel very bad, Mrs Payne. And your medicines... the physician has prescribed four, but I could buy only two of them. It is all just so... frustrating!" Ruth had put her spoon down on her plate as she fidgeted with her fingers looking down in her lap. Studying the young beautiful woman in front of her, Mrs Payne realised how she was ageing rapidly than her desired pace. She looked exhausted with red eyes and bags underneath them. Her lips had lost their softness, and the delicate skin shredded in layers. Mrs Payne took Ruth's hands in hers. She ran her fingers on her hard and rough palm. The hands which should caress her husband's and children's face had turned into sandpaper. "Ruth, look at me, my child." Mrs Payne beckoned her with a gentle voice. Zoe watched them intently, forgetting about her favourite food left half-finished in a bowl. Ruth slowly looked up at Mrs Payne's kind face. The smile on the old lady's face intensified her guilt. "Ruth... sometimes I wonder what good things I must have done in my previous life that God has sent you in my life?! I know how you must be feeling and I understand you. Because I share your feeling." Ruth looked at her, puzzled. "I can not work and spend my days at home. I want to help you, but I can not. You also have that void in your life after his loss. You did not even get a chance to mourn over your loss. No one asked you how you felt or was there something they could do for you. Not even me! I feel ashamed of my selfishness." Ruth shook her head while her tears betrayed her will to gather in her eyes. She was about to protest, but Mrs Payne stopped her. "Life is unfair, Ruth. It always was and will always be. We can not predict what it will throw our way. We have no control over that. All we can do is be prepared to face it, whatever it may be. And you are doing just that. And my darling, that is the right thing to do. Do not ever feel that you are lacking in fulfilling your responsibilities. You are doing a splendid job with life, and I am so proud of you! I am sure your Mr Payne must be smiling proudly at you from heaven!" Mrs Payne looked outside the window at the night sky with teary eyes. "Mrs Payne!" "Do you kow what my husband used to say about the responsibilities?" Ruth listened to her every word attentively. "He used to say that they are like a faith. If you believe that there is God, then only you can devote yourself to him. But if you do not believe in God, there is no question of devotion. Responsibilities are just like that. If you believe in them, then only you try to fulfil them, dedicate your efforts for them. But if you do not believe in them, you do not need to think about them and burden yourself. Ruth... I always wanted to tell you this. Choose your responsibilities wisely. You do not need to carry each one of them. Sometimes, you have to think by mind and not heart for your gains." Ruth had never thought like that. Her mind had never walked that path before. But now that Mrs Payne showed her a new way, she was hesitant to discover it. "But will it not be called selfishness? Running away or not acknowledging your responsibility is a sign of ungratefulness." Ruth objected. Mrs Payne expected that reaction from Ruth. She knew her well enough. "Ruth, you are too good for this lousy world! And that is why I am telling you this. Prioritising your happiness is not always have to be called selfishness. Everyone has a natural right of seeking happiness. And so do you! But if you keep burdening your shoulders with unnecessary responsibilities and guilt, blame yourself for the things that you have no control over, then how you are going to find your happiness?" Ruth was thoughtful. Her mind trying to process what Mrs Payne said. "Always remember that you are the sailor of your boat. It is up to you if you want to sail your boat to the shore or go straight in the mouth of tsunami waves. I know you do not agree with me at this moment. But the moment you will realise the core of what I said, you will be liberated of that unnecessary burden and can search for your happiness." Mrs Payne held Ruth's shoulders firmly and stared straight into her hazel eyes. "No one and I mean no one can do that for you, Ruth. We all- I, Thea, Rees, the man who will love you wholeheartedly, your children- we all can only be a medium of your happiness, but the source... it lies in you! Only you can search for it, grab it and cherish it! And there is nothing wrong with it as long as your heart and mind do not say otherwise. So stop feeling guilty and overburdening yourself. I love you, and you love me is what matters in the end!" Ruth nodded her head, understanding with a broken smile and hugged the old lady who had the same expressions as her. Zoe watched the two women fighting all the odds, and finding new hope to live every day. They were not ready to give up. They were not willing to complain. They were not looking for an easy way out. They only wanted to keep on fighting till their last breaths! 'Maybe humans are not as weak as the supernatural creatures think them to be!' * * * "Come on Lisa! i know you can do better than this. Let's try one more time! Hee!" Darius had nothing to do in the palace, and his mind could not settle down on one thing. So he decided to invest his time in his favourite thing. Marcus, who stood not far away from him, watched Darius throwing a ball made up of cloth wrapped around a stone. "Go Lisa, Go! Get it!" Darius cheered excitedly like a kid. Lisa was tired and hungry. Her limbs ached after crawling on her hands and knees for an hour now. Her body was already weak after weeks of torture. Her body was covered in bite marks. Some fresh, some old and some which would remain on her body till her last breath, reminding her of this time in a golden cage. She tiredly pushed herself forward on her hands and knees. Her movements were slow and painful. It took her more than a minute to cross the distance of fifteen steps. But she finally made it. She was not allowed to touch the ball with her hands. She was supposed to either pick it in her mouth or roll it with her nose to bring it back to Darius. When she went back to him with the ball, he leaned down to her eye level and smiled proudly. He patted her head and said, "You are getting good in this, Lisa! You will do better soon." Lisa's eyes welled up hearing that. She could not imagine how many days she had to endure this torture, humiliation, the constant fear of death or even worse. "Oooo... look, little Lisa is crying but I have done nothing to upset you, sweetheart, now have I?" He pouted innocently. Mustering her courage she said, "Then let me go! Stop treating me like a dog!" Darius stared at her for a moment. "Why Lisa? I thought you like it here with me." He said that in such a way as if he was disappointed and hurt. Marcus smirked, shaking his head. That young vampire was good with it! "NO! I do not like this! Who likes being played around and treated like a dog?" Lisa yelled, her eyes glaring at Darius in the hope that her looks could kill him. "But is it not what you humans do with their pets and think that those animals like it?!"
