Yin Lan then understood. Her mistress was doing this probably for Young Master Fu and Fourth Young Lady. She smiled lightly, "This slave will refrain."
"I'm going to sleep for a while..." Gu Ying put down her bowl and chopsticks, stroked her belly, and the corners of her lips curved up. "Yin Lan, if there's a letter from the Heir, you must wake me up."
"Mistress, just go to bed with ease. This slave and Rouge are here watching over you."
With the two of them in the yard, as well as Huai An and the guards the Heir left behind, Gu Ying felt at ease. After the meal, she went upstairs to rest.
In the afternoon, Huai An went out with Yin Lan.
Shang Jiao lived in a broken courtyard under a crooked tree on Chunyang Lane in the west city of Bianjing.
When Huai An arrived, she was feeding chickens and ducks in the yard. Seeing the two nobly dressed young master and young lady outside the fence, she put down the leftovers in the bowl and wiped her hands on her clothes before going to the door. She gave the thick-browed, big-eyed Huai An a smile, "Young Master, Young Lady, do you have business with me?"
Seeing her lovely and delicate, Huai An's stern tone softened a little. "We've come to see the situation in your home. My mistress met you on the street on Lantern Festival night and took great liking to you. Seeing a young girl like you working hard to make a living, she wanted to come help."
Shang Jiao's long eyelashes fluttered as she looked at Yin Lan. "Mistress? This mistress of yours?"
Huai An's handsome face reddened in embarrassment. "Cough cough..."
He wanted to go along with it, but Yin Lan just smiled and explained, "No, it's the mistress of the Heir of the Duke of Zhenguo's residence."
Huai An turned his head and saw the politeness and aloofness on Yin Lan's face. His heart sank a little.
So she was drawing a clear line with him?
As a rough fellow, he didn't really understand Yin Lan. Seeing Yin Lan enthusiastically invited into Shang Jiao's yard, he could only lower his head and follow them in.
Shang Jiao was very warm to them, especially him.
She still had a pair of parents at home with little labor power. Her mother was often bedridden with poor health, while her father could only do odd jobs. Otherwise he worked as a cook's helper at the restaurant.
The little girl was very articulate with a sweet mouth. She kept looking up at him with bright, innocent eyes - the angle that best showed a woman's innocence and purity, very appealing to men.
Huai An frowned unhappily. Though he didn't like the girl's slyness, he couldn't bring himself to dislike her either. After all, she looked like a young girl. He couldn't mistreat her.
But Yin Lan...
He turned to look at her again, but she didn't even glance his way.
Huai An felt discouraged. Yin Lan handled everything afterwards while he only provided the silver.
The two of them then left Shang Jiao's home.
He called to the leading lady in front and stopped her, his heart feeling stuffy, even more annoying than losing a battle. "Yin Lan, what's wrong with you recently? Suddenly so cold to me?"
Yin Lan turned around and saw Huai An's frowning handsome face. She smiled, "No, why does Sir Huai feel that way?"
A surge of irritation rose in Huai An's heart. She was playing Tai Chi with him.
He was the kind of person who spoke his mind directly without beating around the bush.
Today, he would tell her outright that he liked her.
"Do you believe that yourself?" He went right up to her, his tall frame enveloping her.
Yin Lan quietly retreated back a little.
Huai An's brows sank heavily. He forced her back against the wall in a commanding manner, staring at her moist eyes intently with his own thick brows and eyes. "Let me be blunt with you today. I've liked you for a long time, from the first time I saw you I wanted to marry you. Although I'm just a minor captain in the Kirin Army now, as long as I follow the Heir and work hard, I'll surely rise high in five years and give you a happy life. Are...are you willing?"
Yin Lan stared at him in a daze, not expecting him to say it outright.
She swallowed and her nose soured. Her emotions were complicated. "I..."
"Just say if you're willing to marry me or not!" Huai An gritted his teeth, fists clenched tightly. It was apparent that while he looked composed externally, he was still somewhat nervous inside.
In all his years, this was the first time he had confessed to a girl, and he worried greatly that she would flee instead of accepting him.
Under Huai An's burning gaze, Yin Lan's heart raced.
Snowflakes drifted down under the crooked tree.
She gathered her cyan cloak tighter and moistened her lips before giving a bitter laugh. "Sir Huai, I'm unwilling."
Huai An's heart lurched. The snowflakes fell on his eyelashes, stinging his eyes. "You, what did you say?"
It felt very difficult before saying it, but once uttered, everything became easier.
She had no reason to conceal her past.
Sir Huai was sincere. She didn't want to lead him on.
Yin Lan smiled through her tears and held out her callused hands to Huai An.
"In others' eyes, I'm an elder maid in the Censorate, of good background and status, even esteemed. But only I know what I've gone through."
"These are hands stained with blood."
"I'm neither innocent nor clean."
Huai An clenched his fists tightly until the veins on the back of his hands protruded. He looked at her in disbelief.
What Yin Lan feared most was that kind of look. It felt like a blunt knife gouging out a piece of her heart, aching dully. Fortunately there was no contempt or disdain in his eyes.
But that hint of doubt still pierced her deeply.
She knew no man could accept her past, so when she decided to speak out, she was already prepared to sever ties with him.
She retracted her hands and gathered them in her sleeves, sniffling. White mist puffed from between her lips in the cold air.
She narrowed her eyes, unable to discern Huai An's face in the mist. She smiled and continued, "I killed my own husband and have borne children. Sir Huai, are you still willing to marry someone like me?"
Huai An's lips drew tightly into a line. Things were completely different from what he imagined.
His mind felt rather chaotic and he didn't know how to respond or what to say now.
Yin Lan then understood. Her mistress was doing this probably for Young Master Fu and Fourth Young Lady. She smiled lightly, "This slave will refrain."
"I'm going to sleep for a while..." Gu Ying put down her bowl and chopsticks, stroked her belly, and the corners of her lips curved up. "Yin Lan, if there's a letter from the Heir, you must wake me up."
"Mistress, just go to bed with ease. This slave and Rouge are here watching over you."
With the two of them in the yard, as well as Huai An and the guards the Heir left behind, Gu Ying felt at ease. After the meal, she went upstairs to rest.
In the afternoon, Huai An went out with Yin Lan.
Shang Jiao lived in a broken courtyard under a crooked tree on Chunyang Lane in the west city of Bianjing.
When Huai An arrived, she was feeding chickens and ducks in the yard. Seeing the two nobly dressed young master and young lady outside the fence, she put down the leftovers in the bowl and wiped her hands on her clothes before going to the door. She gave the thick-browed, big-eyed Huai An a smile, "Young Master, Young Lady, do you have business with me?"
Seeing her lovely and delicate, Huai An's stern tone softened a little. "We've come to see the situation in your home. My mistress met you on the street on Lantern Festival night and took great liking to you. Seeing a young girl like you working hard to make a living, she wanted to come help."
Shang Jiao's long eyelashes fluttered as she looked at Yin Lan. "Mistress? This mistress of yours?"
Huai An's handsome face reddened in embarrassment. "Cough cough..."
He wanted to go along with it, but Yin Lan just smiled and explained, "No, it's the mistress of the Heir of the Duke of Zhenguo's residence."
Huai An turned his head and saw the politeness and aloofness on Yin Lan's face. His heart sank a little.
So she was drawing a clear line with him?
As a rough fellow, he didn't really understand Yin Lan. Seeing Yin Lan enthusiastically invited into Shang Jiao's yard, he could only lower his head and follow them in.
Shang Jiao was very warm to them, especially him.
She still had a pair of parents at home with little labor power. Her mother was often bedridden with poor health, while her father could only do odd jobs. Otherwise he worked as a cook's helper at the restaurant.
The little girl was very articulate with a sweet mouth. She kept looking up at him with bright, innocent eyes - the angle that best showed a woman's innocence and purity, very appealing to men.
Huai An frowned unhappily. Though he didn't like the girl's slyness, he couldn't bring himself to dislike her either. After all, she looked like a young girl. He couldn't mistreat her.
But Yin Lan...
He turned to look at her again, but she didn't even glance his way.
Huai An felt discouraged. Yin Lan handled everything afterwards while he only provided the silver.
The two of them then left Shang Jiao's home.
He called to the leading lady in front and stopped her, his heart feeling stuffy, even more annoying than losing a battle. "Yin Lan, what's wrong with you recently? Suddenly so cold to me?"
Yin Lan turned around and saw Huai An's frowning handsome face. She smiled, "No, why does Sir Huai feel that way?"
A surge of irritation rose in Huai An's heart. She was playing Tai Chi with him.
He was the kind of person who spoke his mind directly without beating around the bush.
Today, he would tell her outright that he liked her.
"Do you believe that yourself?" He went right up to her, his tall frame enveloping her.
Yin Lan quietly retreated back a little.
Huai An's brows sank heavily. He forced her back against the wall in a commanding manner, staring at her moist eyes intently with his own thick brows and eyes. "Let me be blunt with you today. I've liked you for a long time, from the first time I saw you I wanted to marry you. Although I'm just a minor captain in the Kirin Army now, as long as I follow the Heir and work hard, I'll surely rise high in five years and give you a happy life. Are...are you willing?"
Yin Lan stared at him in a daze, not expecting him to say it outright.
She swallowed and her nose soured. Her emotions were complicated. "I..."
"Just say if you're willing to marry me or not!" Huai An gritted his teeth, fists clenched tightly. It was apparent that while he looked composed externally, he was still somewhat nervous inside.
In all his years, this was the first time he had confessed to a girl, and he worried greatly that she would flee instead of accepting him.
Under Huai An's burning gaze, Yin Lan's heart raced.
Snowflakes drifted down under the crooked tree.
She gathered her cyan cloak tighter and moistened her lips before giving a bitter laugh. "Sir Huai, I'm unwilling."
Huai An's heart lurched. The snowflakes fell on his eyelashes, stinging his eyes. "You, what did you say?"
It felt very difficult before saying it, but once uttered, everything became easier.
She had no reason to conceal her past.
Sir Huai was sincere. She didn't want to lead him on.
Yin Lan smiled through her tears and held out her callused hands to Huai An.
"In others' eyes, I'm an elder maid in the Censorate, of good background and status, even esteemed. But only I know what I've gone through."
"These are hands stained with blood."
"I'm neither innocent nor clean."
Huai An clenched his fists tightly until the veins on the back of his hands protruded. He looked at her in disbelief.
What Yin Lan feared most was that kind of look. It felt like a blunt knife gouging out a piece of her heart, aching dully. Fortunately there was no contempt or disdain in his eyes.
But that hint of doubt still pierced her deeply.
She knew no man could accept her past, so when she decided to speak out, she was already prepared to sever ties with him.
She retracted her hands and gathered them in her sleeves, sniffling. White mist puffed from between her lips in the cold air.
She narrowed her eyes, unable to discern Huai An's face in the mist. She smiled and continued, "I killed my own husband and have borne children. Sir Huai, are you still willing to marry someone like me?"
Huai An's lips drew tightly into a line. Things were completely different from what he imagined.
His mind felt rather chaotic and he didn't know how to respond or what to say now.
