An actress in our midst! - Chapter 97

Content warning: 

Depression, suicidal thoughts

She floated through the void. Her senses were numbed, her eyes lidded, her body relaxed, her mind empty. If anyone were to see her expression, they might have mistaken her for a fresh corpse.

Noisy.

Everything outside… was just so noisy. 

And so she pushed it all aside, closed her mind even more. The void enveloped her further, blocking out the damned noise.

But it didn’t help. Jessica realized that some of the noise actually came from within.

Her head robotically turned to look at the strange misshapen cage with the bars curling around each other, randomly becoming thicker and thinner, seemingly having no structural integrity, and yet somehow holding true.

Then she looked at the creature within that kept making all the noise.

“*** – ica! – *** – me on! – *** – up! Jessi – *** – danger! Jessic – ***”

So noisy.

So annoying.

She just wanted to sleep. Was that too much to ask for?

Her ethereal arm extended toward the cage and grabbed it. She brought it right in front of her and stared at the noisemaker dispassionately.

“Jessica! Oh, thank the lord! Quickly! You have to… Wait, Jessica? Are you…?”

Even more annoying now that it was closer.

Maybe it would stop making noise if it was further away instead?

“Jessica, no! Stop it! Don’t…!”

She gripped the cage in one hand, held out her hand, and got ready to throw–

“Your friends are gonna die if you don’t wake up!”

Jessica’s hand twitched… but didn’t swing forward with the cage. Instead, after a few silent moments, she slowly brought it in front of herself once again and stared at its occupant with not a hint of emotion in her eyes.

“Jessica… No, this is your subconscious mind, isn’t it? Dammit…”

She continued staring at the mumbling creature inside the cage.

And then, she spoke in a cold and detached tone, “Who are you?”

The thing seemed to freeze in shock for a second.

“... it’s me, Jessica. Nomed,” it said in a low tone. “Well, a fragment, at least. The fragment that stayed inside the seal you made, remember?”

Her expression didn’t change whatsoever. Her only reaction was repeating the thing’s name in a slow murmur, as if testing it on her lips.

Nomed sighed.

“Jessica, we don’t have much time. Things are getting very hectic out there. You need to break out of here and wake up!”

More staring.

“No,” she replied.

“Wha…?! Jessica! You can’t be serious!”

“I am… tired.”

She caught a glimpse of movement in the cage. An eye managed to peep through the crooked bars and looked straight at hers.

“No Jessica… That’s just… depression. You’re depressed, not tired.”

“... what’s… the difference?”

The little demon cat sighed.

“That’s what I get for picking the one with the most negative feelings in her… Should have figured it would backfire on me eventually…”

Jessica stared. Brief fragments of memory flashed before her. Of a sleazy businessman shaped like a shadowy cat thing, trying to con her into some kind of pyramid scheme.

No, the demon army.

“Jessica… Listen. I get it. After all, when we first met, you’ve… been grieving. Actually, you’re still grieving, probably. That’s why you were such a strong demon, really. You’ve been holding a lot of negative emotions… but you’ve been hiding them behind a mask.”

She stared.

A mask. Acting. She enjoyed acting. It was easy. It let her be someone else. It let her forget reality for a second. Acting was good.

“It was… your mom, right? I never really prodded you about it, but I can guess what happened.”

Mom.

For the first time, Jessica’s expression finally shifted.

Sorrow.

“I remember it. I looked it up, actually. She died in an accident. Not even related to the demons. Just any old car crash.”

She remembered. And it hurt. It always hurt. This was why she always wore that mask.

“I… felt bad when I found out, to be honest. Your entire stint in the demon army… was just a way to distract yourself, wasn’t it? From the very beginning. You… you were probably even hoping to die somewhere along the way, weren’t you?”

Jessica stared.

She didn’t say a word, but Nomed understood.

“Look, when we deal with what’s happening outside… we can talk again. I’m not really good at this but… uh… I like to think that we have grown pretty close, haven’t we?”

Jessica hummed, in neither agreement nor disagreement.

“Even if… err, you were planning on backstabbing us all… Even if you were kind of a bitch… Even if the first freaking thing you did was research sealing magic to build this stupid cage…!” Nomed’s voice climbed higher… until he stopped and he deflated. “Even then, I like to think of us as sort of partners. Even then, I still like you, Jessica. Honestly, You’re more of a demon than most actual demons, and that’s gotta account for something, right?”

Pride.

Jessica’s eyes gained a glint to them, her mouth curling up imperceptibly.

“Partners…” she murmured.

Nomed beamed at her, happy to finally get through to her.

“Yes, partners!” He rapidly nodded his little feline head. “So, partner! We need to act! There isn’t much time. It’s getting hectic outside! If you don’t wrestle control back, it’s gonna be disastrous!”

“Control…” she murmured.

She liked control too. It gave her power. It gave her options. It let her decide on her own. Losing control was always bad.

She needed to regain control.

With her… partner.

“How…?” she murmured, managing to finally swerve away from the dead tone and phrasing it as a question.

“Well, first, I need to get out of this cage! That other demon is holding you in his grasp, but I can help you wrangle yourself out of it!”

She bopped her head and brought the cage closer to inspect it. She rolled it around, looking at it from every angle…

… before simply ripping it in half with her bare hands.

“Huh…” Nomed blinked. “How did you… Never mind.” The newly freed cat demon locked his eyes with Jessica. “Alright, we’re gonna need to rouse your conscious self and wrestle control of your body. Are you ready for this?”

A nod.

“Alright then, follow my lead. First… we need to–”

She was tired.

She wanted to sleep.

But this was important.

She needed to kick out the other demon, regain control, and save everyone.

Together.

With her partner.

Content warning: Spoiler Depression, suicidal thoughts collapse She floated through the void. Her senses were numbed, her eyes lidded, her body relaxed, her mind empty. If anyone were to see her expression, they might have mistaken her for a fresh corpse. Noisy. Everything outside was just so noisy. And so she pushed it all aside, closed her mind even more. The void enveloped her further, blocking out the damned noise. But it didn't help. Jessica realized that some of the noise actually came from within. Her head robotically turned to look at the strange misshapen cage with the bars curling around each other, randomly becoming thicker and thinner, seemingly having no structural integrity, and yet somehow holding true. Then she looked at the creature within that kept making all the noise. *** ica! *** me on! *** up! Jessi *** danger! Jessic *** So noisy. So annoying. She just wanted to sleep. Was that too much to ask for? Her ethereal arm extended toward the cage and grabbed it. She brought it right in front of her and stared at the noisemaker dispassionately. Jessica! Oh, thank the lord! Quickly! You have to Wait, Jessica? Are you? Even more annoying now that it was closer. Maybe it would stop making noise if it was further away instead? Jessica, no! Stop it! Don't! She gripped the cage in one hand, held out her hand, and got ready to throw Your friends are gonna die if you don't wake up! Jessica's hand twitched but didn't swing forward with the cage. Instead, after a few silent moments, she slowly brought it in front of herself once again and stared at its occupant with not a hint of emotion in her eyes. Jessica No, this is your subconscious mind, isn't it? Dammit She continued staring at the mumbling creature inside the cage. And then, she spoke in a cold and detached tone, Who are you? The thing seemed to freeze in shock for a second. ... it's me, Jessica. Nomed, it said in a low tone. Well, a fragment, at least. The fragment that stayed inside the seal you made, remember? Her expression didn't change whatsoever. Her only reaction was repeating the thing's name in a slow murmur, as if testing it on her lips. Nomed sighed. Jessica, we don't have much time. Things are getting very hectic out there. You need to break out of here and wake up! More staring. No, she replied. Wha?! Jessica! You can't be serious! I am tired. She caught a glimpse of movement in the cage. An eye managed to peep through the crooked bars and looked straight at hers. No Jessica That's just depression. You're depressed, not tired. ... what's the difference? The little demon cat sighed. That's what I get for picking the one with the most negative feelings in her Should have figured it would backfire on me eventually Jessica stared. Brief fragments of memory flashed before her. Of a sleazy businessman shaped like a shadowy cat thing, trying to con her into some kind of pyramid scheme. No, the demon army. Jessica Listen. I get it. After all, when we first met, you've been grieving. Actually, you're still grieving, probably. That's why you were such a strong demon, really. You've been holding a lot of negative emotions but you've been hiding them behind a mask. She stared. A mask. Acting. She enjoyed acting. It was easy. It let her be someone else. It let her forget reality for a second. Acting was good. It was your mom, right? I never really prodded you about it, but I can guess what happened. Mom. For the first time, Jessica's expression finally shifted. Sorrow. I remember it. I looked it up, actually. She died in an accident. Not even related to the demons. Just any old car crash. She remembered. And it hurt. It always hurt. This was why she always wore that mask. I felt bad when I found out, to be honest. Your entire stint in the demon army was just a way to distract yourself, wasn't it? From the very beginning. You you were probably even hoping to die somewhere along the way, weren't you? Jessica stared. She didn't say a word, but Nomed understood. Look, when we deal with what's happening outside we can talk again. I'm not really good at this but uh I like to think that we have grown pretty close, haven't we? Jessica hummed, in neither agreement nor disagreement. Even if err, you were planning on backstabbing us all Even if you were kind of a bitch Even if the first freaking thing you did was research sealing magic to build this stupid cage! Nomed's voice climbed higher until he stopped and he deflated. Even then, I like to think of us as sort of partners. Even then, I still like you, Jessica. Honestly, You're more of a demon than most actual demons, and that's gotta account for something, right? Pride. Jessica's eyes gained a glint to them, her mouth curling up imperceptibly. Partners she murmured. Nomed beamed at her, happy to finally get through to her. Yes, partners! He rapidly nodded his little feline head. So, partner! We need to act! There isn't much time. It's getting hectic outside! If you don't wrestle control back, it's gonna be disastrous! Control she murmured. She liked control too. It gave her power. It gave her options. It let her decide on her own. Losing control was always bad. She needed to regain control. With her partner. How? she murmured, managing to finally swerve away from the dead tone and phrasing it as a question. Well, first, I need to get out of this cage! That other demon is holding you in his grasp, but I can help you wrangle yourself out of it! She bopped her head and brought the cage closer to inspect it. She rolled it around, looking at it from every angle before simply ripping it in half with her bare hands. Huh Nomed blinked. How did you Never mind. The newly freed cat demon locked his eyes with Jessica. Alright, we're gonna need to rouse your conscious self and wrestle control of your body. Are you ready for this? A nod. Alright then, follow my lead. First we need to She was tired. She wanted to sleep. But this was important. She needed to kick out the other demon, regain control, and save everyone. Together. With her partner.