"Mono/Dialogue"
'Inner thoughts'
Narration
[Message/communication apparatus]
Date: Late February 1082
Location: Southern Border Zone, Kazimierz.
POV: Narrator
A lone bike is being parked beneath the baleful moonlight of cascading uncertainty, the owner had made a camp to rest. An eerie view is also added here… dead bodies being hung on a tree looks like a sick joke out of a B-Grade horror movie… If it weren’t real.
Personage we had been more than acquainted with can be seen to be really… disgruntled and worried. A rare display of emotion out in the open, but the dead bodies are enough as the needed insurance.
Where does the bike’s owner intend to go? None other than the Nearl family’s mansion in Kawalerielki. Młynar had notified her upon such a short notice a few days ago, the contents were alarming enough. She never rest more than 30 minutes, of which 70% was being spent for mental gymnastics.
‘What the hell happened to them? Getting the members of a hero’s family out of the picture is an insanely costly endeavor, a really expensive yet tasteless joke. Did they know? Did my meddling back in 72 comes to light? Am I the reason they got compromised? Damn it, I would hate myself the most if I’m the reason Margaret and Maria lose their parents.’
The Pythian lady’s mind is in utter chaos, she dreaded the possibilities of the current situation has something to do with her. She tried to imagine herself in Margaret’s or Maria’s position, and she is immediately filled with fear and guilt.
If either hated her now… well, all she can do is to accept more of that hate. She is used to being hated, but on the receiving end from one she held dear? That would stung a lot.
‘I trusted you! What have you done!?’
‘No one asked for this! So why!?’
‘You’re signing your own death warrant!’
Echoes of condemnation upon her past and dead selves…
‘Who even are you?’
‘That person is dead, you’re just a sick joke…’
‘I was never wrong… thank you for proving me otherwise….’
Echoes of disappointments and broken promises…
‘Farewell, may the gods cast you into hell.’
‘There was no such thing, as far as I’m concerned.’
‘… I’ll waste my time with you no longer.’
Echoes of broken fellowship and… abandonment…
It is not the first time, such is why she knows. One of her memories even recalled one time her sworn sister raged on her misconduct. How she got declared an oath breaker publically and casted aside as a criminal before being sent off to d-.
“Ngghhh…!” Her body jerked, and for a second, and not more, she gone completely rigid. Every single one of her senses were cut off… before all surge of information that she can sense flown back as one, overloading her with all sort of stimulus… and too much thing was rarely a good thing…
She can feel her head throbbing in pain, the memory was abruptly stopped and her entire being seems to disobey her momentarily. She can only gripped her hand tightly, her body is shivering, her heart is thumping loudly… and the thing she can do is to endure it and nothing else.
It happens again, ever since that dream? Memory? Prophecy? She didn’t know, but memories become harder to recollect and even affected her directly.
She is no longer sure just what the hell is happening anymore… Despite all of this incongruity… She can still smile inwardly, it is a reasonably effective coping mechanism after all…
“If I’m going to be hated, then so be it… Like I can do anything to begin with… Haaahhhh… Margaret, Maria, I hope you guys are alright…”
‘…Młynar…’ The sentence died before it was even formed.
Hardening her heart, Nyx decided to postpone her memory recollection and instead back on making sense of this incident.
From what she can understand…No matter how she looked at it, Młynar was most likely to be tied up by something or he was not in the right place for one, it happened so abruptly for two, and it fits too perfectly as a political machinations for three…
Which is why if there is another reason? That the whole thing was merely a distraction for something bigger? All of those were, merely, her own blind conjecture. Who knows what actually transpired there?
Nyx wondered whether the political swamp of Kazimierz had finally catch-up to drag the Nearls down. She does knows one thing, it will only goes downhill from now on. For the Nearls to lose their heir and lady of the house candidate would be a terrible blow on their image.
The damages would have been less if the Nearls have nothing much to do with Kazimierz well-being as a whole. But there is little hypotheticals can added to the current situation…
“No doubt if they found about it, they are going to try of turning it into a possibility of my weakness… I knew it, things had gone too well for the last couple of years, no wonders… That it comes back to bite me in the ass…”
Her eyes dilated, her arms are shaking, and her breathing had begun to be very inconsistent. Nyx is furious, on her conduct and the potential on them, Nearls, being used as bargaining chip… Nyx won’t deviate from her modus operandi… she just can’t… the moment she did, the house of cards she build would be torn down like an unstoppable avalanche…
She tried to picture herself aiming her bow at… Margaret…
She tried to picture herself of harming either… Zofia… or… Maria…
The image pains her, so much so that the corner of her eyes starts to feel damp, her fists are balled so tightly that she drew blood, and she bit her lips with such force that she finally taste iron… The image terrifies her to no end… but she must do what she must…
Her MO starts to take its tremendous toll on her psyche with an alarming rate…
‘Way to fucking go Nyx, never had I wanted to kill myself so bad from shame… but if I stopped now, more people will die by proxy for a chance of hurting me… Do I even have any rights to talk about death anyway? Heh… haha… haha… Don’t you love irony?’
She kicked a rock and shattered it. Nyx did felt the pain of her emotional baggage’ impulsive behavior, but she is really pathetic at the moment….
It is very unusual for a mercenary to be so intimately linked with any of their clients, Nyx’s circumstances just happen to pave way into it. Her public image would no doubt be affected of how close she is with her client, even putting her painstakingly built reputation into potential ramifications and all those grating, ‘fun’, stuffs.
She didn’t care however, because the one thing she hated the most is to abandon anyone she has been psychologically invested without reason. The Nearls as a whole has become her second family, which they reciprocated in kind, thus she would be damned to just throw it away like that.
But the nagging feeling of a phantom dread always reared its ugly head, not to mention that it just turned into a nexus of her own insecurities… The people who are dear to her are her greatest strength and weakness… all it will take is a rejection from them…
“… That’s enough resting, I have been brooding for long enough. It won’t solve anything, but god do I hope for a panacea of all my problems to just show up magically… Hah, wistful thinking, another delusion I had just effortlessly conjured. Welp, time to get on partner and hope for the best…”
Her current attitude is really unbecoming for a mercenary, thus a career change might be in order if she can’t get her bearings righted and adjusted with the nature of mercenary occupation. But, like she said herself, that’s a problem for the future, amongst myriad of her other problems that keeps piling up.
She can only pray that she is not too late in finding a way out of the mess she created for herself. Nyx wondered, just how would her life turned out to be if she just be honest with her own feelings and not putting up the mask of an omni-directional, cold, bitch… she might die, but at least she can die being herself…
Date: 4th March 1082
Location: Kawalerielki, Kazimierz.
POV: Nyx
‘I’m back… damn, I can already feel the headache of what’s going to happen… should I just kill those paparazzi after all? Broken bones doesn’t seems to be working…’
I’m just musing to myself while waiting for my turn. There is a real traffic jam here… and the reason is none other than the 19th Kazimierz Major that is going to be held this year. I almost forgot that this country has such an event, but I don’t think I want to participate…
It is just an over glorified gladiator tournament… I heard that my- ahem, Młynar has an extreme distaste with it, personally of course. Because he couldn’t care less about what the ignoramuses and opportunists wanted, his nucleic family is his only priority beside his idea of justice.
And yes if you’re really asking, I’m grabbing all the attention in this very checkpoint. I did dressed more daringly, which is a set of sleeveless jacket on top of t-shirt and jeans also a shemagh scarf hiding my lower face.
I’m in a hurry and thus my usual uniform is still neatly tucked inside my bag and because I’m more or less acclimated with cold, I have no problem with it… oh how wrong was I in a different sense…
Then why is this guy queuing behind me is looking at me with stars in his eyes? A fan? A paparazzi? … A stalker? Um… should I wave? He is not hostile, I can sense his emotion… very clearly in fact… but there is also a scrutinizing gaze, like in the midst of appraising me…
Well that’s a given, because even though Grey Serpent has been confirmed to be a woman, no one would expect someone dressed like me to be one. Hah… Maybe I should buy a car after all, I can bring a more varied equipment along… I’m already regretting everything I could have avoided… What a great start Nyx, let’s see how it plays out I guess.
I didn’t bring my usual great bow, since it was in maintenance and I can’t really postpone something urgent like this. Commissioning another as a stand in during my stay here is also doable. So I just bring my smaller compound bow folded in the bag and my gun holstered on my hip.
But really though? Can’t a lady just have her queue in peace? There are a lot of foreigners here too… guess most of them don’t really know me, judging by how much they practically stripping me naked with their gazes… wonder when someone will do something stupi-
“Hola Hermosa (Hello Beautiful), what a fine gal doing all alone here? Surely you’re free tonight right? How about you come with us and just have fun, we’ll show you a true Bolívarian experience and bliss. Just you and the 5 of us now be obedient and follow us, we’ll surely knock your world, literally…”
Ah there it is… it’s so cliché it hurts… just ignore them… I can already sense those who knows me, the real fucking mercenary me, to be extremely horrified. Should I just shot them anyway? Hmm… I mean, can I? Wonder if the border security will throw me into jail for that… actuall-
“Oi, slut. My mate is talkin’ to ye.”
‘Oh shut it you cocksucker…’
“Big Bro, guess la perra ingrata (the ungrateful bitch) is deaf no? Surely all those vitamins and proteins only filled her tits, eh?”
“Ain’t that right my man? Shame though, someone so beautiful being so dim… well, you win some, you lose some.”
“Nice perky tits, shapely ass… damn I wanna tap that… hahaha!”
‘They’re laughing but honestly I just don’t care… besides where was I… let see… hmm… If they touch me first… heh~ I can claim self-defense… alright let’s just provoke them.’
So I just leaned forward on my bike while giving them the side-eye. I don’t give them more than a yawn after that and… voila, I seems to have gotten them on their nerves.
“Fucking bitch! You deaf!?”
“Big Bro let us just fuck her up, we can take her elsewhere.”
“Ain’t that right, we have the Singas on our back, we can even brought her back as souvenir!”
They got out of their car and I still don’t even moved a muscle.
What was that squirt said? Singas eh? Bolívarians backed by Leithanien? This is getting interesting… even if they’re someone important, which I highly doubt judging by how crass and messy they’re.
Hold on… I’m technically a noble here too. Well, an honorary one but still… hmm…
It would seriously marred Kazimierz’ reputation to let them do whatever. Both the Silverlances and Adeptus would be furious beyond belief to see me being insulted this much… guess the political fallout was kinda averted there…
‘This is getting interesting~’
The security force up ahead who knows what is happening didn’t do anything, because they know I never needed their intervention. They just give these morons a look of pity while directing the CCTV my direction… so the National Council want some brownies too huh? Very opportunistic. Eh… I guess I’ll let them.
I just swiveled off my bike to then just lean against it, trademark face? Check. Arrogant posturing? Check. Audiences and evidences? Fucking checks. I just stared at these morons encircling me.
One more thing, now that I think about it, Bolívarian sounds like Spanish… Well, time to belt out my limited Spanish for this momentous occasion… God I hope it worked else I would make a fool out of myself…
‘Alright show time~…’
“Hmm… what’s this? A bunch of spineless idiots? Too afraid of a single lady so you gang-up on her? Dios mio (my god), this thing called confidence seems to be a new thing for y’all… or maybe that’s why you guys need to compensate with numbers for having such a miniscule appeal, what a way to disappoint a lady… Sorry, lady’s judgment tend to be very, very, harsh~”
The surrounding people are giggling, those who knows me just enjoyed the show while… betting? Really guys? Ah well.
‘Alright your move now, cabron (bastard)…’
“That’s it! Put-” Aha! He touched me, time to die~… or not… ugh, if only I met them outside of checkpoint… I could have used some stress relief…
With that, I tear myself off from his grasp and swing my arm into a haymaker. His neck was struck and… Yes…! Not quite dead. Dad would be proud seeing me able to go easy. Hehe, they’re tough too… I’ll enjoy this… The whole thing happened in but a second btw.
Before they can even react, I put my hand on the bike and swung my leg into a roundhouse and knocked 2 of them out, immediately. One of them had come off their stupor and lunged at me with a knife, I just lean on my back while raising my leg and then delivered an axe kick, right through his cranium… good luck to you~
‘Ahn~… That felt good… Goodness me, I’m so depraved…’
The other one tried to run… I just pulled my gun and shot him in the leg.
“Agh! Loca perra (crazy bitch)! Aghhh!”
“… Talk about being such a wimp, you’re unable to keep up… how unsatisfying… Quantity has its own quality huh? Well your quality is shit then.” The surrounding are clamoring and some even start taking photos of these men pathetic state. A security, a knight captain from the looks of it too, is finally heading my way.
“*Groan* Help me! This loca just pulled out a gun and-” and the captain promptly ignored the man writhing on the ground. He even snuck a glare at that cabron, shutting him up, before smiling warmly my way.
“Good evening, Baroness Nyx, it appears that these scoundrels had caused you quite an insolent misconduct."
“Indeed Officer, can you please remove their unsightly mug from here? They had been terribly unpleasant… and I’m doing my best not to kill them…” His smile twitched, oh come on~
“Rozumiemy (Understood), I need a security unit on checkpoint 7 ASAP. We have unruly troublemakers.”
[Zrozumiany (Understood).]
“The unit has been dispatched, My Lady. We can actually make an exception for you to enter the mobile city immediately”
“Truly now? The last time I was here, no such thing was implemented, a special occasion then?”
“With the Major that is about to be held soon, it would be more beneficial for us to get VIP inside quickly.”
“VIP… never thought a merc would get that treatment… Sure, I’ll impose on this occasion.”
“Understood, just head right towards the special lane. Your status and contributions for Kazimierz years ago warranted you at least that much.”
“I see, I see… well, dobry wieczor (good evening.).”
“Dobry wieczor.”
Huh… if only I remembered it sooner. I wouldn’t have been in trouble like this…
Not long after Nyx left…
POV: ???
“Hmm… Interesting… reports said that she is not keen on making enemies… but perhaps there are always exceptions.”
The Grey Serpent lady, or more accurately a femme fatale, had left the scene with a simple yet intriguing display of skill… from her demeanor, she clearly improvised on the go. I can always use an asset like that, wonder what she desired…
“Si, perhaps it would be prudent for us to get in contact with her?”
“Indeed, Dossoles could use such an interesting individual… her mercenary status would also made her thrive under our environment… As much as I wanted the place to prosper, there are some things better to be left to professionals… what do you think?”
“Logically, she is the perfect enforcer for a limited time period. Personally… she is a wild card…”
“Indeed, it would be easy for us to contact her, but I suggest we withhold it for now. We’ll wait until our primary business deal with K.G.C.C. was taken care of…
‘… and perhaps those Adeptus officials can also be snagged along.’
“Santiago, please reiterate my schedule."
“Very well, you will be having a lunch with the CEO of Kaiser-Schwarz today. There will also be a ball with local Kawalerielki Nobles, and… the meeting with Lady Grand Knight on dinner. After that…”
Hmm… Nyx, you will be useful indeed and don’t worry, it would be catastrophically idiotic to make an enemy out of you. Especially when a civilized method can be more useful and profitable. Wonder what Wei have in store for her, she is obedient as long as we keep our words after all…
Location: Nearl’s Mansion, Kawalerielki, Kazimierz.
POV: Młynar
“It appears you got into trouble…”
“… Um yeah… Just got side-tracked a little so nothing too major…”
“Then let us start right away. Follow me now, I’ll fill you in with the details and my plan ahead…”
“Lead the way.”
We just walked towards the guest room in silence, in all honesty my mind is shaken and unfocused. Schnitz and Yolanta are the 2 people I always love and admired without question, they always know what to do and how to navigate a noxious environment known as politics. Their disappearance naturally caused problems to be proliferated. Father is sick, his condition keeps worsening…
We finally arrived at the guest room and take our respective seat. We sat there opposing one another, and nothing exchanged for a minute. While inhaling, I starts explaining the circumstances that shrouded their departures.
“I was there… I can see them go… in the dead of the night… but I can’t do anything, I also saw Margaret standing in the doorway dazed and confused, but when she sees me, she starts having panic attacks but she didn’t cry. Maria was held by Zofia, who was also there… Father has been sickly, he was upstairs and unable to move…”
Nyx is visibly shocked, I can guess that she wanted to inquire about father but instead prodded me to continue.
“That’s actually worse than I had envisioned, but I’ll check up on them later. I need all the information I can get before taking action.”
“Alright, Margaret said that the both of them are required elsewhere, but I don’t believe it. Margaret was being told by her parents that she must protect her family… The knights who come to fetch them also told me that it was an express order and mission from the Adeptus… I can’t do anything since Schnitz himself also sternly cautioned me not to get involved… I should have tried to prevent it regardless…”
“Were you told anything else at all? Also, have you tried of making sense with 3rd party information about whatever might be causing this incident?”
“I suppose so… however the official orders are nothing but hogwash to me… I cannot stomach the reasons since it were too ridiculous… they were needed somewhere? They are devoting themselves to Kazimierz? How nonsensical… getting the heir of a house pretty much ousted like that…”
I exhaled again, keeping my anger in check…
“Then I tried of searching for much more credible information, and ended up finding nothing that might be a clue. It felt like my brother and sister-in-law vanished without trace. The only thing I had conjectured was a sense of urgency, that they didn’t have much time. Well, there are also rumors that the northern and eastern field army had been steadily losing its numbers too… it might have to do with it.”
“What about Kiril? He should know something right? The Adeptus wouldn’t just let incident of this magnitude to slide without a clear and logical reasoning.”
“I had inquired Father, since he should know the better picture about this incident, but the only answer I had gotten out of him was silence and nothing else. Was he implying that this is necessary, but necessary for what? Those accursed vermin!? Or those opportunist vultures!? Why didn’t he say anything!?”
The rage and disappointment starts to boil within me…
The steely yet helpless, but mysteriously inscrutable, look Father had when I told him…
The look of horror and sadness Zofia tried so desperately to hide days ago…
The confused and uncomprehending stare Maria had for my brother and sister-in-law departure…
The pleading gaze on Margaret’s face when she looked at me, how she is mutely screaming at me to wake her up from her hellish nightmare…
“And why did I just stood there like a fool?”
My hands starts shaking in fury, the whole thing feels like a really elaborate ploy to get rid of them. A brother and sister-in-law that is dear to me more than anything else.
Suddenly I feel a cold, but paradoxically warm, hand enveloping mine. Moving my gaze towards the source, I can see her face full of concern for me and moved on to sit on my side.
She said nothing and just sit next to me, she wrapped my hand with hers. I need to calm down… it won’t really help in shaping a sort of understanding on this situation. Merely exploding in anger will only bring a fleeting sense of illusionary relief… rational thinking is much more appropriate and suitable method for this moment…
“… I have to apologize. That was unbecoming of me, the last few days had been truly… taxing.”
“It’s alright, take your time… Haste make waste, believe me… I learn that from first-hand experience too. For now, just calm down… keep your mind clear and in control first…”
“Hmph, it’s a really novel feeling that someone who was so emotional months ago is now chastising me.”
“T-t-that was due to special circumstances, you jerk!”
I can feel some of my misgivings ebbing away… she looks displeased but I can sense that the tension had dissipated further… perhaps feeling that I had calmed considerably, she continue where we left off.
“So, what else can you tell me?”
“Personally, I think that this incident was a well-crafted distraction for something on a grander scale… thus I can’t help but to also feel skeptical and that there is more into it… something I don’t know what to make head or tail for the full picture… what I want at the moment is answer… why would they leave without a proper and clear communication with me?”
“I see… does that mean you need my help in gathering information? Consider it done, I can make sure th-”
“No.”
“… What?’
“I’ll do it alone, it would be really impudent of me to ask the others for help either.”
“But, Mwi… I can help you. It would be better if we do it together.”
“That would not be a good idea, it is one thing if I’m being the one to investigate, and it is another thing entirely if it were you. Nearl’s power and influence had started to wane… Frankly, I need you to stave off the bleeding for a while… Father is weak, and I might need you to look after him too…”
“… then what else can I do?”
“Can you stay here for a year or two, to stay here and help protect them? I promise that I’ll reimburse you as much as you desir-”
“Not another word, I’ll do it. You can forget everything about the payment.”
“… Excuse me?”
“Did you forgot? Call me anytime… I’ll do it, only for you… and only you… Besides… The Nearls… I think of you guys as family… It just feels wrong to expect payment from it…also, this is the first time I heard that Kiril is sickly… why didn’t any of you tell me?”
“He asked me not to… he doesn’t want to impose…”
“Stubborn… why are you guys so stubborn for the most incomprehensible reasons?”
‘Like you’re one to talk, Nyx.’
I reflexively countered in my mind… but… seeing her face I can’t find it in me to voice my thoughts. She smiled with a hint of amusement… While also with a clear concern for my well-being… I know she has always been infatuated with me… this much care is just illogical however…
“Hahhh, whatever…When will you leave?”
“Tomorrow then I’ll return when I find a credible lead…and I still need to make it up to you… somehow…”
“How about you stop being so down and remember that… I’m always here for you to provide support. So if you need my help, just say it… because… I… never mind… Just promise me that you’ll not mind to keep in touch with me, ok?”
“I can promise you that, but you still dodged my question…”
“Mrrrhhhh… fine. Um… you know… just… um… take me out… for a… d-d-dinner… sometimes.” She is blushing… That’s oddly endearing, but is that it?
“That’s it? Sounds really disproportionate for what you have agreed upon, is it not?”
Wait, why did her face gone blank immediately while I also feels like she is looking at me unfavorably? Did I made a mistake?
“I’ll check up on Margaret now. Good night, wandering tenebrous blockhead…” and then she left the room with a huff… I was asking a genuine question, didn’t I? Surely a mere dinner wouldn’t be a fair form of compensation…
Then suddenly Zofia entered the room, similarly looking bewildered.
“Młynar, what happened to Big Sis?” I reiterated all non-sensitive information to her… and she also looked at me with… Disgust? Exasperation? Disappointment? I really don’t get women sometimes…
“Idiot, no wonder you got called blockhead.” She also left… This is truly perplexing… but no matter, I must head north, west, east, or even south… I don’t care… I must find them…
POV: Margaret.
“Protect your sister and family while we are gone, alright? We’ll have to go somewhere far away from Kawalerielki, from the Grand Knight’s Territory…”
“Will you be leaving for a long time? When will you come back?”
“Yes, my dear… as for when…”
“We promise you that we’ll be back, so… wait for us, alright? Take good care of your Sister, Zofia, and your sickly grandfather. Make us proud and stay safe…”
“Indeed, you’ll have your uncle and aunt to help you. Don’t hesitate to reach out to them, but you must be strong… know that we always love all of you with all our hearts.”
“Sir Nearl, Lady Nearl, it is time.”
““Goodbye, our Radiant Sun.””
Father’s and mother’s words keeps repeating in my mind… I honestly don’t really know why they suddenly left… but I was really afraid the moment I realized they’re not there anymore. Thinking it was just a nightmarish dream, I was running around frantically all around the house, but I can’t find them… Father… Mother…. Where are you?
‘Why did those knights brought them away… and why did uncle was only standing there, doing nothing?’
My uncle was the bravest of them all… so why did he just stood there? He does nothing. I was hoping that he would bring Father and Mother back with us…
I was even hoping that grandfather, despite his worsening health, would be coming downstairs and stop those… evil knights… from taking my Father and Mother…
I’m scared… I don’t know what to do… I’m confused… How should I protect Maria? How could I take care of Grandfather? What must I do or what can I even do? Why did uncle just stood there? And… how could I reach out to Aunt Nyx? I’m afraid that… I’m afraid that…
*knock* *knock* *knock*
A knocking sound? It must be Zofia… I don’t want to meet anyone right now… I’m scared…
“I’m sorry Zofia… I’m not hungry… leave me alone…”
But the voice that answered is the one I wasn’t expecting to hear right now…
“… Margaret, dear, it’s me…. Can you open the door, sweetheart? You mustn’t skipped out on your dinner…”
“O-oh! A-A-Auntie Nyx?”
“Yes, it’s me, dear. Can you open the door so I can get inside?”
“T-t-t-the door wasn’t locked, s-so you can enter…”
Aunt Nyx entered my bedroom, she brought with her a tray of food… but I can’t muster any appetite for it… if anything, I feel nauseous…
She put the tray on a nearby table and immediately sat on the edge of my bed. She is worried… what must I do? But it hurts… please, just say anything… please…
“Auntie… Your stories… I like them all… the one where the princess being a friend with durins… or the one where she has a really long hair… or that one when you regaled of her courage in leading the army and fighting her own way.”
‘Keep talking… keep talking… keep talking… anything… just keep talking… You’re Margaret Nearl…’
Auntie is just sitting there, listening to me without saying anything.
‘It hurts… but I mustn’t show it… Father and Mother said that I must… that I must… be strong… yes… I must be strong!’
“Or that one where a finbeast was looking for their kin along with their companion! Also the one where you told me about a little one who tried their best to find their mother. That was really touching and inspiring!” Just smile… be strong… smile… be strong…
“…”
“So Auntie can you tell me more stories!? I’m dying to know more of your wonderful stories! So can you? Can you? Can you? Can you? Can-”
Auntie just wordlessly hugged me… what was I doing again? … Mother… Father… what was I supposed to be doing again? It was learning, studying, telling stories, playing, or training and spending time together, right? Right? Right?
‘It hurts…. It hurts… It hurts…’
“Shhh… it is alright Margaret… I’m here…”
“I… *Sniff* I… *Sniff* I! *sobs*”
‘My eyes… why am I crying again? Mother…Father… I shouldn’t cry right? I must be strong right? I’m Maria’s Big Sister, I shouldn’t cry so easily right? I’m going to be a Knight too right? A knight shouldn’t cry, right?’
“That’s right… let it out. No one will blame you… so just… let it out… Your auntie will be here with you, so don’t hold your tears…”
I can’t hold it anymore… my vision is filled with tears…. Father… Mother… sorry, I’m not strong enough…
“A…a….auntie….. *sniff* auntie! *sobs* Uwaaaaaaaaaaa!”
POV: Nyx
‘This girl… She really had forced herself to be strong and burying her suffering deep within her heart, all of it, despite the situation…’
I can only watch over this little girl, who wailed and wailed… and wailed… for her parents to come home… the sight of her so desperate to put of a brave front… She would be a really strong lady in the future… but not now… every child should always have their rights to cry…
“*sobs* Uwaaaaaaa! *sniff* Aaaaaaaaaaa!”
“There, there… I’m here…”
“T-t-they said that *sniff* they will be back *sniff* but when!? They will be back right!?”
“I…”
“T-t-they also told me… *sniff* take care…*sniff* of Maria…. Zofia… Grandfather… uncle… but I *sobs* but I… *sniff* AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa! *sobs*”
“…”
What can I say? Nothing. I would most definitely be a sobbing mess like this if something beyond my control befallen dad too… Hah… I’ll try and ask Kiril tomorrow…
‘But now…’
I’m sorry Margaret… Your useless aunt can only give you a hug for now… so, let it all out…
[END OF CHAPTER]
Author’s Note:
Yo there, this is me, myself, and I, the author who had gone absolutely nuts.
I tried to make sense with Margaret Nearl module lore, about her parent’s departure, and this is the best I got.
As for why Margaret didn’t call Zofia as ‘Aunt’ yet, she is still young while being less prim and proper. She will only starts calling her as one when she’s older, Margaret will be 10 on April 23rd.
For reference, Zofia is 11 in this FanFic but she’s already been trained as Nearls’ Lady-in-Waiting.
Also who was the “???” person you might ask? Well, if you know the lore, you know.
Update as usual, and my mind is saddled with stress…. Hopefully I’m still fine.
Ciao
"Mono/Dialogue"
'Inner thoughts'
Narration
[Message/communication apparatus]
Date: Late February 1082
Location: Southern Border Zone, Kazimierz.
POV: Narrator
A lone bike is being parked beneath the baleful moonlight of cascading uncertainty, the owner had made a camp to rest. An eerie view is also added here… dead bodies being hung on a tree looks like a sick joke out of a B-Grade horror movie… If it weren’t real.
Personage we had been more than acquainted with can be seen to be really… disgruntled and worried. A rare display of emotion out in the open, but the dead bodies are enough as the needed insurance.
Where does the bike’s owner intend to go? None other than the Nearl family’s mansion in Kawalerielki. Młynar had notified her upon such a short notice a few days ago, the contents were alarming enough. She never rest more than 30 minutes, of which 70% was being spent for mental gymnastics.
‘What the hell happened to them? Getting the members of a hero’s family out of the picture is an insanely costly endeavor, a really expensive yet tasteless joke. Did they know? Did my meddling back in 72 comes to light? Am I the reason they got compromised? Damn it, I would hate myself the most if I’m the reason Margaret and Maria lose their parents.’
The Pythian lady’s mind is in utter chaos, she dreaded the possibilities of the current situation has something to do with her. She tried to imagine herself in Margaret’s or Maria’s position, and she is immediately filled with fear and guilt.
If either hated her now… well, all she can do is to accept more of that hate. She is used to being hated, but on the receiving end from one she held dear? That would stung a lot.
‘I trusted you! What have you done!?’
‘No one asked for this! So why!?’
‘You’re signing your own death warrant!’
Echoes of condemnation upon her past and dead selves…
‘Who even are you?’
‘That person is dead, you’re just a sick joke…’
‘I was never wrong… thank you for proving me otherwise….’
Echoes of disappointments and broken promises…
‘Farewell, may the gods cast you into hell.’
‘There was no such thing, as far as I’m concerned.’
‘… I’ll waste my time with you no longer.’
Echoes of broken fellowship and… abandonment…
It is not the first time, such is why she knows. One of her memories even recalled one time her sworn sister raged on her misconduct. How she got declared an oath breaker publically and casted aside as a criminal before being sent off to d-.
“Ngghhh…!” Her body jerked, and for a second, and not more, she gone completely rigid. Every single one of her senses were cut off… before all surge of information that she can sense flown back as one, overloading her with all sort of stimulus… and too much thing was rarely a good thing…
She can feel her head throbbing in pain, the memory was abruptly stopped and her entire being seems to disobey her momentarily. She can only gripped her hand tightly, her body is shivering, her heart is thumping loudly… and the thing she can do is to endure it and nothing else.
It happens again, ever since that dream? Memory? Prophecy? She didn’t know, but memories become harder to recollect and even affected her directly.
She is no longer sure just what the hell is happening anymore… Despite all of this incongruity… She can still smile inwardly, it is a reasonably effective coping mechanism after all…
“If I’m going to be hated, then so be it… Like I can do anything to begin with… Haaahhhh… Margaret, Maria, I hope you guys are alright…”
‘…Młynar…’ The sentence died before it was even formed.
Hardening her heart, Nyx decided to postpone her memory recollection and instead back on making sense of this incident.
From what she can understand…No matter how she looked at it, Młynar was most likely to be tied up by something or he was not in the right place for one, it happened so abruptly for two, and it fits too perfectly as a political machinations for three…
Which is why if there is another reason? That the whole thing was merely a distraction for something bigger? All of those were, merely, her own blind conjecture. Who knows what actually transpired there?
Nyx wondered whether the political swamp of Kazimierz had finally catch-up to drag the Nearls down. She does knows one thing, it will only goes downhill from now on. For the Nearls to lose their heir and lady of the house candidate would be a terrible blow on their image.
The damages would have been less if the Nearls have nothing much to do with Kazimierz well-being as a whole. But there is little hypotheticals can added to the current situation…
“No doubt if they found about it, they are going to try of turning it into a possibility of my weakness… I knew it, things had gone too well for the last couple of years, no wonders… That it comes back to bite me in the ass…”
Her eyes dilated, her arms are shaking, and her breathing had begun to be very inconsistent. Nyx is furious, on her conduct and the potential on them, Nearls, being used as bargaining chip… Nyx won’t deviate from her modus operandi… she just can’t… the moment she did, the house of cards she build would be torn down like an unstoppable avalanche…
She tried to picture herself aiming her bow at… Margaret…
She tried to picture herself of harming either… Zofia… or… Maria…
The image pains her, so much so that the corner of her eyes starts to feel damp, her fists are balled so tightly that she drew blood, and she bit her lips with such force that she finally taste iron… The image terrifies her to no end… but she must do what she must…
Her MO starts to take its tremendous toll on her psyche with an alarming rate…
‘Way to fucking go Nyx, never had I wanted to kill myself so bad from shame… but if I stopped now, more people will die by proxy for a chance of hurting me… Do I even have any rights to talk about death anyway? Heh… haha… haha… Don’t you love irony?’
She kicked a rock and shattered it. Nyx did felt the pain of her emotional baggage’ impulsive behavior, but she is really pathetic at the moment….
It is very unusual for a mercenary to be so intimately linked with any of their clients, Nyx’s circumstances just happen to pave way into it. Her public image would no doubt be affected of how close she is with her client, even putting her painstakingly built reputation into potential ramifications and all those grating, ‘fun’, stuffs.
She didn’t care however, because the one thing she hated the most is to abandon anyone she has been psychologically invested without reason. The Nearls as a whole has become her second family, which they reciprocated in kind, thus she would be damned to just throw it away like that.
But the nagging feeling of a phantom dread always reared its ugly head, not to mention that it just turned into a nexus of her own insecurities… The people who are dear to her are her greatest strength and weakness… all it will take is a rejection from them…
“… That’s enough resting, I have been brooding for long enough. It won’t solve anything, but god do I hope for a panacea of all my problems to just show up magically… Hah, wistful thinking, another delusion I had just effortlessly conjured. Welp, time to get on partner and hope for the best…”
Her current attitude is really unbecoming for a mercenary, thus a career change might be in order if she can’t get her bearings righted and adjusted with the nature of mercenary occupation. But, like she said herself, that’s a problem for the future, amongst myriad of her other problems that keeps piling up.
She can only pray that she is not too late in finding a way out of the mess she created for herself. Nyx wondered, just how would her life turned out to be if she just be honest with her own feelings and not putting up the mask of an omni-directional, cold, bitch… she might die, but at least she can die being herself…
Date: 4th March 1082
Location: Kawalerielki, Kazimierz.
POV: Nyx
‘I’m back… damn, I can already feel the headache of what’s going to happen… should I just kill those paparazzi after all? Broken bones doesn’t seems to be working…’
I’m just musing to myself while waiting for my turn. There is a real traffic jam here… and the reason is none other than the 19th Kazimierz Major that is going to be held this year. I almost forgot that this country has such an event, but I don’t think I want to participate…
It is just an over glorified gladiator tournament… I heard that my- ahem, Młynar has an extreme distaste with it, personally of course. Because he couldn’t care less about what the ignoramuses and opportunists wanted, his nucleic family is his only priority beside his idea of justice.
And yes if you’re really asking, I’m grabbing all the attention in this very checkpoint. I did dressed more daringly, which is a set of sleeveless jacket on top of t-shirt and jeans also a shemagh scarf hiding my lower face.
I’m in a hurry and thus my usual uniform is still neatly tucked inside my bag and because I’m more or less acclimated with cold, I have no problem with it… oh how wrong was I in a different sense…
Then why is this guy queuing behind me is looking at me with stars in his eyes? A fan? A paparazzi? … A stalker? Um… should I wave? He is not hostile, I can sense his emotion… very clearly in fact… but there is also a scrutinizing gaze, like in the midst of appraising me…
Well that’s a given, because even though Grey Serpent has been confirmed to be a woman, no one would expect someone dressed like me to be one. Hah… Maybe I should buy a car after all, I can bring a more varied equipment along… I’m already regretting everything I could have avoided… What a great start Nyx, let’s see how it plays out I guess.
I didn’t bring my usual great bow, since it was in maintenance and I can’t really postpone something urgent like this. Commissioning another as a stand in during my stay here is also doable. So I just bring my smaller compound bow folded in the bag and my gun holstered on my hip.
But really though? Can’t a lady just have her queue in peace? There are a lot of foreigners here too… guess most of them don’t really know me, judging by how much they practically stripping me naked with their gazes… wonder when someone will do something stupi-
“Hola Hermosa (Hello Beautiful), what a fine gal doing all alone here? Surely you’re free tonight right? How about you come with us and just have fun, we’ll show you a true Bolívarian experience and bliss. Just you and the 5 of us now be obedient and follow us, we’ll surely knock your world, literally…”
Ah there it is… it’s so cliché it hurts… just ignore them… I can already sense those who knows me, the real fucking mercenary me, to be extremely horrified. Should I just shot them anyway? Hmm… I mean, can I? Wonder if the border security will throw me into jail for that… actuall-
“Oi, slut. My mate is talkin’ to ye.”
‘Oh shut it you cocksucker…’
“Big Bro, guess la perra ingrata (the ungrateful bitch) is deaf no? Surely all those vitamins and proteins only filled her tits, eh?”
“Ain’t that right my man? Shame though, someone so beautiful being so dim… well, you win some, you lose some.”
“Nice perky tits, shapely ass… damn I wanna tap that… hahaha!”
‘They’re laughing but honestly I just don’t care… besides where was I… let see… hmm… If they touch me first… heh~ I can claim self-defense… alright let’s just provoke them.’
So I just leaned forward on my bike while giving them the side-eye. I don’t give them more than a yawn after that and… voila, I seems to have gotten them on their nerves.
“Fucking bitch! You deaf!?”
“Big Bro let us just fuck her up, we can take her elsewhere.”
“Ain’t that right, we have the Singas on our back, we can even brought her back as souvenir!”
They got out of their car and I still don’t even moved a muscle.
What was that squirt said? Singas eh? Bolívarians backed by Leithanien? This is getting interesting… even if they’re someone important, which I highly doubt judging by how crass and messy they’re.
Hold on… I’m technically a noble here too. Well, an honorary one but still… hmm…
It would seriously marred Kazimierz’ reputation to let them do whatever. Both the Silverlances and Adeptus would be furious beyond belief to see me being insulted this much… guess the political fallout was kinda averted there…
‘This is getting interesting~’
The security force up ahead who knows what is happening didn’t do anything, because they know I never needed their intervention. They just give these morons a look of pity while directing the CCTV my direction… so the National Council want some brownies too huh? Very opportunistic. Eh… I guess I’ll let them.
I just swiveled off my bike to then just lean against it, trademark face? Check. Arrogant posturing? Check. Audiences and evidences? Fucking checks. I just stared at these morons encircling me.
One more thing, now that I think about it, Bolívarian sounds like Spanish… Well, time to belt out my limited Spanish for this momentous occasion… God I hope it worked else I would make a fool out of myself…
‘Alright show time~…’
“Hmm… what’s this? A bunch of spineless idiots? Too afraid of a single lady so you gang-up on her? Dios mio (my god), this thing called confidence seems to be a new thing for y’all… or maybe that’s why you guys need to compensate with numbers for having such a miniscule appeal, what a way to disappoint a lady… Sorry, lady’s judgment tend to be very, very, harsh~”
The surrounding people are giggling, those who knows me just enjoyed the show while… betting? Really guys? Ah well.
‘Alright your move now, cabron (bastard)…’
“That’s it! Put-” Aha! He touched me, time to die~… or not… ugh, if only I met them outside of checkpoint… I could have used some stress relief…
With that, I tear myself off from his grasp and swing my arm into a haymaker. His neck was struck and… Yes…! Not quite dead. Dad would be proud seeing me able to go easy. Hehe, they’re tough too… I’ll enjoy this… The whole thing happened in but a second btw.
Before they can even react, I put my hand on the bike and swung my leg into a roundhouse and knocked 2 of them out, immediately. One of them had come off their stupor and lunged at me with a knife, I just lean on my back while raising my leg and then delivered an axe kick, right through his cranium… good luck to you~
‘Ahn~… That felt good… Goodness me, I’m so depraved…’
The other one tried to run… I just pulled my gun and shot him in the leg.
“Agh! Loca perra (crazy bitch)! Aghhh!”
“… Talk about being such a wimp, you’re unable to keep up… how unsatisfying… Quantity has its own quality huh? Well your quality is shit then.” The surrounding are clamoring and some even start taking photos of these men pathetic state. A security, a knight captain from the looks of it too, is finally heading my way.
“*Groan* Help me! This loca just pulled out a gun and-” and the captain promptly ignored the man writhing on the ground. He even snuck a glare at that cabron, shutting him up, before smiling warmly my way.
“Good evening, Baroness Nyx, it appears that these scoundrels had caused you quite an insolent misconduct."
“Indeed Officer, can you please remove their unsightly mug from here? They had been terribly unpleasant… and I’m doing my best not to kill them…” His smile twitched, oh come on~
“Rozumiemy (Understood), I need a security unit on checkpoint 7 ASAP. We have unruly troublemakers.”
[Zrozumiany (Understood).]
“The unit has been dispatched, My Lady. We can actually make an exception for you to enter the mobile city immediately”
“Truly now? The last time I was here, no such thing was implemented, a special occasion then?”
“With the Major that is about to be held soon, it would be more beneficial for us to get VIP inside quickly.”
“VIP… never thought a merc would get that treatment… Sure, I’ll impose on this occasion.”
“Understood, just head right towards the special lane. Your status and contributions for Kazimierz years ago warranted you at least that much.”
“I see, I see… well, dobry wieczor (good evening.).”
“Dobry wieczor.”
Huh… if only I remembered it sooner. I wouldn’t have been in trouble like this…
Not long after Nyx left…
POV: ???
“Hmm… Interesting… reports said that she is not keen on making enemies… but perhaps there are always exceptions.”
The Grey Serpent lady, or more accurately a femme fatale, had left the scene with a simple yet intriguing display of skill… from her demeanor, she clearly improvised on the go. I can always use an asset like that, wonder what she desired…
“Si, perhaps it would be prudent for us to get in contact with her?”
“Indeed, Dossoles could use such an interesting individual… her mercenary status would also made her thrive under our environment… As much as I wanted the place to prosper, there are some things better to be left to professionals… what do you think?”
“Logically, she is the perfect enforcer for a limited time period. Personally… she is a wild card…”
“Indeed, it would be easy for us to contact her, but I suggest we withhold it for now. We’ll wait until our primary business deal with K.G.C.C. was taken care of…
‘… and perhaps those Adeptus officials can also be snagged along.’
“Santiago, please reiterate my schedule."
“Very well, you will be having a lunch with the CEO of Kaiser-Schwarz today. There will also be a ball with local Kawalerielki Nobles, and… the meeting with Lady Grand Knight on dinner. After that…”
Hmm… Nyx, you will be useful indeed and don’t worry, it would be catastrophically idiotic to make an enemy out of you. Especially when a civilized method can be more useful and profitable. Wonder what Wei have in store for her, she is obedient as long as we keep our words after all…
Location: Nearl’s Mansion, Kawalerielki, Kazimierz.
POV: Młynar
“It appears you got into trouble…”
“… Um yeah… Just got side-tracked a little so nothing too major…”
“Then let us start right away. Follow me now, I’ll fill you in with the details and my plan ahead…”
“Lead the way.”
We just walked towards the guest room in silence, in all honesty my mind is shaken and unfocused. Schnitz and Yolanta are the 2 people I always love and admired without question, they always know what to do and how to navigate a noxious environment known as politics. Their disappearance naturally caused problems to be proliferated. Father is sick, his condition keeps worsening…
We finally arrived at the guest room and take our respective seat. We sat there opposing one another, and nothing exchanged for a minute. While inhaling, I starts explaining the circumstances that shrouded their departures.
“I was there… I can see them go… in the dead of the night… but I can’t do anything, I also saw Margaret standing in the doorway dazed and confused, but when she sees me, she starts having panic attacks but she didn’t cry. Maria was held by Zofia, who was also there… Father has been sickly, he was upstairs and unable to move…”
Nyx is visibly shocked, I can guess that she wanted to inquire about father but instead prodded me to continue.
“That’s actually worse than I had envisioned, but I’ll check up on them later. I need all the information I can get before taking action.”
“Alright, Margaret said that the both of them are required elsewhere, but I don’t believe it. Margaret was being told by her parents that she must protect her family… The knights who come to fetch them also told me that it was an express order and mission from the Adeptus… I can’t do anything since Schnitz himself also sternly cautioned me not to get involved… I should have tried to prevent it regardless…”
“Were you told anything else at all? Also, have you tried of making sense with 3rd party information about whatever might be causing this incident?”
“I suppose so… however the official orders are nothing but hogwash to me… I cannot stomach the reasons since it were too ridiculous… they were needed somewhere? They are devoting themselves to Kazimierz? How nonsensical… getting the heir of a house pretty much ousted like that…”
I exhaled again, keeping my anger in check…
“Then I tried of searching for much more credible information, and ended up finding nothing that might be a clue. It felt like my brother and sister-in-law vanished without trace. The only thing I had conjectured was a sense of urgency, that they didn’t have much time. Well, there are also rumors that the northern and eastern field army had been steadily losing its numbers too… it might have to do with it.”
“What about Kiril? He should know something right? The Adeptus wouldn’t just let incident of this magnitude to slide without a clear and logical reasoning.”
“I had inquired Father, since he should know the better picture about this incident, but the only answer I had gotten out of him was silence and nothing else. Was he implying that this is necessary, but necessary for what? Those accursed vermin!? Or those opportunist vultures!? Why didn’t he say anything!?”
The rage and disappointment starts to boil within me…
The steely yet helpless, but mysteriously inscrutable, look Father had when I told him…
The look of horror and sadness Zofia tried so desperately to hide days ago…
The confused and uncomprehending stare Maria had for my brother and sister-in-law departure…
The pleading gaze on Margaret’s face when she looked at me, how she is mutely screaming at me to wake her up from her hellish nightmare…
“And why did I just stood there like a fool?”
My hands starts shaking in fury, the whole thing feels like a really elaborate ploy to get rid of them. A brother and sister-in-law that is dear to me more than anything else.
Suddenly I feel a cold, but paradoxically warm, hand enveloping mine. Moving my gaze towards the source, I can see her face full of concern for me and moved on to sit on my side.
She said nothing and just sit next to me, she wrapped my hand with hers. I need to calm down… it won’t really help in shaping a sort of understanding on this situation. Merely exploding in anger will only bring a fleeting sense of illusionary relief… rational thinking is much more appropriate and suitable method for this moment…
“… I have to apologize. That was unbecoming of me, the last few days had been truly… taxing.”
“It’s alright, take your time… Haste make waste, believe me… I learn that from first-hand experience too. For now, just calm down… keep your mind clear and in control first…”
“Hmph, it’s a really novel feeling that someone who was so emotional months ago is now chastising me.”
“T-t-that was due to special circumstances, you jerk!”
I can feel some of my misgivings ebbing away… she looks displeased but I can sense that the tension had dissipated further… perhaps feeling that I had calmed considerably, she continue where we left off.
“So, what else can you tell me?”
“Personally, I think that this incident was a well-crafted distraction for something on a grander scale… thus I can’t help but to also feel skeptical and that there is more into it… something I don’t know what to make head or tail for the full picture… what I want at the moment is answer… why would they leave without a proper and clear communication with me?”
“I see… does that mean you need my help in gathering information? Consider it done, I can make sure th-”
“No.”
“… What?’
“I’ll do it alone, it would be really impudent of me to ask the others for help either.”
“But, Mwi… I can help you. It would be better if we do it together.”
“That would not be a good idea, it is one thing if I’m being the one to investigate, and it is another thing entirely if it were you. Nearl’s power and influence had started to wane… Frankly, I need you to stave off the bleeding for a while… Father is weak, and I might need you to look after him too…”
“… then what else can I do?”
“Can you stay here for a year or two, to stay here and help protect them? I promise that I’ll reimburse you as much as you desir-”
“Not another word, I’ll do it. You can forget everything about the payment.”
“… Excuse me?”
“Did you forgot? Call me anytime… I’ll do it, only for you… and only you… Besides… The Nearls… I think of you guys as family… It just feels wrong to expect payment from it…also, this is the first time I heard that Kiril is sickly… why didn’t any of you tell me?”
“He asked me not to… he doesn’t want to impose…”
“Stubborn… why are you guys so stubborn for the most incomprehensible reasons?”
‘Like you’re one to talk, Nyx.’
I reflexively countered in my mind… but… seeing her face I can’t find it in me to voice my thoughts. She smiled with a hint of amusement… While also with a clear concern for my well-being… I know she has always been infatuated with me… this much care is just illogical however…
“Hahhh, whatever…When will you leave?”
“Tomorrow then I’ll return when I find a credible lead…and I still need to make it up to you… somehow…”
“How about you stop being so down and remember that… I’m always here for you to provide support. So if you need my help, just say it… because… I… never mind… Just promise me that you’ll not mind to keep in touch with me, ok?”
“I can promise you that, but you still dodged my question…”
“Mrrrhhhh… fine. Um… you know… just… um… take me out… for a… d-d-dinner… sometimes.” She is blushing… That’s oddly endearing, but is that it?
“That’s it? Sounds really disproportionate for what you have agreed upon, is it not?”
Wait, why did her face gone blank immediately while I also feels like she is looking at me unfavorably? Did I made a mistake?
“I’ll check up on Margaret now. Good night, wandering tenebrous blockhead…” and then she left the room with a huff… I was asking a genuine question, didn’t I? Surely a mere dinner wouldn’t be a fair form of compensation…
Then suddenly Zofia entered the room, similarly looking bewildered.
“Młynar, what happened to Big Sis?” I reiterated all non-sensitive information to her… and she also looked at me with… Disgust? Exasperation? Disappointment? I really don’t get women sometimes…
“Idiot, no wonder you got called blockhead.” She also left… This is truly perplexing… but no matter, I must head north, west, east, or even south… I don’t care… I must find them…
POV: Margaret.
“Protect your sister and family while we are gone, alright? We’ll have to go somewhere far away from Kawalerielki, from the Grand Knight’s Territory…”
“Will you be leaving for a long time? When will you come back?”
“Yes, my dear… as for when…”
“We promise you that we’ll be back, so… wait for us, alright? Take good care of your Sister, Zofia, and your sickly grandfather. Make us proud and stay safe…”
“Indeed, you’ll have your uncle and aunt to help you. Don’t hesitate to reach out to them, but you must be strong… know that we always love all of you with all our hearts.”
“Sir Nearl, Lady Nearl, it is time.”
““Goodbye, our Radiant Sun.””
Father’s and mother’s words keeps repeating in my mind… I honestly don’t really know why they suddenly left… but I was really afraid the moment I realized they’re not there anymore. Thinking it was just a nightmarish dream, I was running around frantically all around the house, but I can’t find them… Father… Mother…. Where are you?
‘Why did those knights brought them away… and why did uncle was only standing there, doing nothing?’
My uncle was the bravest of them all… so why did he just stood there? He does nothing. I was hoping that he would bring Father and Mother back with us…
I was even hoping that grandfather, despite his worsening health, would be coming downstairs and stop those… evil knights… from taking my Father and Mother…
I’m scared… I don’t know what to do… I’m confused… How should I protect Maria? How could I take care of Grandfather? What must I do or what can I even do? Why did uncle just stood there? And… how could I reach out to Aunt Nyx? I’m afraid that… I’m afraid that…
*knock* *knock* *knock*
A knocking sound? It must be Zofia… I don’t want to meet anyone right now… I’m scared…
“I’m sorry Zofia… I’m not hungry… leave me alone…”
But the voice that answered is the one I wasn’t expecting to hear right now…
“… Margaret, dear, it’s me…. Can you open the door, sweetheart? You mustn’t skipped out on your dinner…”
“O-oh! A-A-Auntie Nyx?”
“Yes, it’s me, dear. Can you open the door so I can get inside?”
“T-t-t-the door wasn’t locked, s-so you can enter…”
Aunt Nyx entered my bedroom, she brought with her a tray of food… but I can’t muster any appetite for it… if anything, I feel nauseous…
She put the tray on a nearby table and immediately sat on the edge of my bed. She is worried… what must I do? But it hurts… please, just say anything… please…
“Auntie… Your stories… I like them all… the one where the princess being a friend with durins… or the one where she has a really long hair… or that one when you regaled of her courage in leading the army and fighting her own way.”
‘Keep talking… keep talking… keep talking… anything… just keep talking… You’re Margaret Nearl…’
Auntie is just sitting there, listening to me without saying anything.
‘It hurts… but I mustn’t show it… Father and Mother said that I must… that I must… be strong… yes… I must be strong!’
“Or that one where a finbeast was looking for their kin along with their companion! Also the one where you told me about a little one who tried their best to find their mother. That was really touching and inspiring!” Just smile… be strong… smile… be strong…
“…”
“So Auntie can you tell me more stories!? I’m dying to know more of your wonderful stories! So can you? Can you? Can you? Can you? Can-”
Auntie just wordlessly hugged me… what was I doing again? … Mother… Father… what was I supposed to be doing again? It was learning, studying, telling stories, playing, or training and spending time together, right? Right? Right?
‘It hurts…. It hurts… It hurts…’
“Shhh… it is alright Margaret… I’m here…”
“I… *Sniff* I… *Sniff* I! *sobs*”
‘My eyes… why am I crying again? Mother…Father… I shouldn’t cry right? I must be strong right? I’m Maria’s Big Sister, I shouldn’t cry so easily right? I’m going to be a Knight too right? A knight shouldn’t cry, right?’
“That’s right… let it out. No one will blame you… so just… let it out… Your auntie will be here with you, so don’t hold your tears…”
I can’t hold it anymore… my vision is filled with tears…. Father… Mother… sorry, I’m not strong enough…
“A…a….auntie….. *sniff* auntie! *sobs* Uwaaaaaaaaaaa!”
POV: Nyx
‘This girl… She really had forced herself to be strong and burying her suffering deep within her heart, all of it, despite the situation…’
I can only watch over this little girl, who wailed and wailed… and wailed… for her parents to come home… the sight of her so desperate to put of a brave front… She would be a really strong lady in the future… but not now… every child should always have their rights to cry…
“*sobs* Uwaaaaaaa! *sniff* Aaaaaaaaaaa!”
“There, there… I’m here…”
“T-t-they said that *sniff* they will be back *sniff* but when!? They will be back right!?”
“I…”
“T-t-they also told me… *sniff* take care…*sniff* of Maria…. Zofia… Grandfather… uncle… but I *sobs* but I… *sniff* AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa! *sobs*”
“…”
What can I say? Nothing. I would most definitely be a sobbing mess like this if something beyond my control befallen dad too… Hah… I’ll try and ask Kiril tomorrow…
‘But now…’
I’m sorry Margaret… Your useless aunt can only give you a hug for now… so, let it all out…
[END OF CHAPTER]
Author’s Note:
Yo there, this is me, myself, and I, the author who had gone absolutely nuts.
I tried to make sense with Margaret Nearl module lore, about her parent’s departure, and this is the best I got.
As for why Margaret didn’t call Zofia as ‘Aunt’ yet, she is still young while being less prim and proper. She will only starts calling her as one when she’s older, Margaret will be 10 on April 23rd.
For reference, Zofia is 11 in this FanFic but she’s already been trained as Nearls’ Lady-in-Waiting.
Also who was the “???” person you might ask? Well, if you know the lore, you know.
Update as usual, and my mind is saddled with stress…. Hopefully I’m still fine.
Ciao
