Unfortunately, answers didn't come nearly as easily as they expected.
When Chad started this conversation, he'd expected the biggest challenge to be getting Gram Gram to pull up the status screen at all. But it wasn't. They had failed to take into account a critical variable -- tech literacy.
"Oh, dear. Now it says 'traits' at the top, there." The old woman read out.
"Ok," Chad let out a breath. "That's not what we want. Go back to the previous screen."
"How do I do that again, dearie?"
Annie spoke with astonishing patience. "Just think 'back' or 'status' or--"
"Oh, whoopsie daisy. It closed again..."
The pair slumped forward in defeat. Helping Gram Gram navigate through the menus was as painful as trying to help fix her printer over the phone -- a comparison made even more apt because neither him nor Annie could actually see the screens in front of the old woman. They had to rely on her to read out every little thing, and her tendency to go off on tangents wasn't making that an easy task, either.
Chad looked over at Annie as she tried again, coaching Gram Gram from the beginning about how to open her traits menu. Damn. She's a dang saint. How come she's never been this patient with me?
After a straight hour of work though, they did manage to get a pretty complete picture of Gram Gram's abilities. And what a picture it was.
The elderly woman headed off to bed shortly after, leaving everyone else alone to talk. Chad headed to the living room, settling on the couch while the others perched on other pieces of living room furniture.
"So..." Squawkers began the conversation.
"So." Annie agreed. "We're sure now. She gets experience from the cats."
"Right." Chad nodded. "That's how she's been leveling up."
The Crazy Cat Woman class came with two unique traits. The first gave her 5% of the experience earned by each feline she owned. It didn't seem like a lot, but the woman had a lot of cats. The fact that she was level four spoke to that. As for the second trait...
"I know we had her put all those points in constitution just now," Squawkers took up his usual perch on Chad's shoulder, still keeping an eye out for any cats that decided to come back inside. "But is that the best idea always?"
"It is for her." Chad nodded. "It'll keep her alive. She had a damn 4 in the stat, Squawk. A four!"
"Right, we definitely needed to put some in there for her," Annie agreed. "But she's up to a solid sixteen now. And if her stats also buff the cats, there might be better places to put 'em, too. I mean, think about it. If she's got an army of super fast ninja assassin cats hangin' around the house, nothin's gonna touch her!"
"True..." Chad imagined his grandmother leaping about the living room right alongside the cats. Although even if they had dumped her twelve available points into dexterity, it probably wouldn't have gotten her to that level. That stat, like her constitution, had also started at a four. Shockingly though, neither was her lowest stat. That honor belonged to her strength, sitting pretty at a meager three.
"What about wisdom?" Squawkers suggested. "That's been helping me with scouting, so maybe it'll help the cats too. Plus, those things have enough dexterity as is."
"Also true," Chad nodded. "But Gram Gram is pretty darn wise. She may not always seem like it, but she gives great advice."
"I don't think that's what having a high wisdom stat means, Chad." Annie pointed out.
"Well then why would they call it that? And why would she have a twenty when she can't see shi– anything?"
Squawkers continued on. "I dunno exactly how it works, but I can promise that wisdom does a lot for my perception. I really think that of the mental stats, wisdom's her best bet."
"Right," Annie agreed. "She's good on charisma, definitely, but why not give her more intelligence? That might help sharpen her mind, too. Having a nine can't be great for her."
"I don't think making the cats smarter is a good idea." Chad frowned. "Their egos are already pretty big as is. Besides, nine's a totally respectable intelligence. High, even."
Squawkers bobbed his head in fervent agreement. "Agreed. Though one can never have too much intelligence, I'd say! Maybe once her physical stats are a little better we can focus there."
"Alright." Annie crossed her arms. "So in the future, we have her focus on constitution first, then strength and dexterity until she's a bit more… mobile. Then in the future, more constitution and maybe we see whether she needs intelligence or wisdom more?"
"Sounds good to me." Chad nodded. "I wanna put at least half her points into constitution from here on, though. I don't want her getting hurt by anything."
At the round of nods, Chad stretched with a yawn. "Sounds good. Guess we will have an army of ninja cats pretty soon. Hopefully a ninja gramma too."
"I guess so." Annie shook her head in disbelief. "Still, I can't believe her… How do you end up with twenties in charisma and wisdom, then absolutely garbage physical stats like that? Is that what being old feels like?"
"No idea." Chad shrugged as he laid back on the worn sofa. "I can respect the minmaxing, though."
Squawkers sighed. "Guess impracticality runs in the family…"
Chad grinned. "I learned from the best. We'll talk to her about all this tomorrow."
With that done, Chad relaxed. He was a bit curious what Gram Gram's newly improved constitution would do for the woman, as well as the cats outside. Maybe there wouldn't be a noticeable difference until they got hurt. Either way, he wouldn't wake her up to check right now.
Still. I can't believe my gramma's got a damn army on her hands. That's awesome.
Between her traits, increased stats, and a new skill that passively reduced skill cooldowns for all the cats she owned, Gram Gram was pretty set. What the system defined as her "owning" a cat was unclear, but judging by her level, it seemed to apply to most of the ones around here. It made sense, given how she fed every stray she could find. It also made him feel a bit better about her safety.
As long as she can keep doing what she's doing... I couldn't really ask for more.
***
Sunlight streamed through the partially closed curtains, illuminating the living room with an early-morning glow. A thin beam of light landed on Chad's face, slowly returning him to consciousness.
Huh? He blinked his eyes open and took in the scene groggily. Damn. Must have fallen asleep pretty quick last night.
Looking down, a thick blanket covered him where he still lay on the couch. The thoughtful gesture made him smile. He recognized a pair of quiet voices chatting nearby as he sat up with a stretch and a groan.
"Good morning, Chadwick." Gram Gram called over from the kitchen table as he stood.
"Morning, Gram Gram." He waved at the woman where she sat. To her right sat Jerry, his hair still wet from a shower. A china teapot and a pair of cups occupied the space between them.
Is it me, or is she sitting up a little straighter?
Chad made his way toward the table. "How'd you sleep?"
"Oh, quite well, actually." The old woman sipped her tea. "In fact, that might be the best I've slept in ages! Why, my joints didn't even flare up once!"
Warm pride filled his chest at the report. Wow. That constitution really worked, didn't it?
As he looked, he realized it was more than that. He hadn't noticed so much the night before, but his gramma's skin seemed less ashy and pale now. Even better, her expression glowed with more warmth and life than he'd seen in a decade, if not longer. She was healthier, there was no doubt about it.
"Here, dearie." Gram Gram scooted back from the table. "I'm sure you're hungry. Let me fix everyone some breakfast."
She got up from the table and, to his astonishment, began to shuffle toward the kitchen without her walker. Her pace was still incredibly slow and plodding, but that didn't matter. She could walk.
"Gram Gram!" Chad shot to his feet, reaching out instinctively. "Be careful!"
"Oh don't worry, Chadwick." She waved him off with one gnarled hand. "I feel fit as a fiddle!"
As he continued to gape at his gramma's sudden changes, Jerry cleared his throat. Chad snapped out of his shock and glanced over at the younger man, settling back into his seat.
"Mornin' Jer-bear!"
The Musician winced, then seemed to relax slightly. "Good morning to you, as well. How are your injuries?"
"Oh, good question." Checking himself over, Chad found that they were healing up quite well. Some of the more severe stab wounds still sent a lance of pain through him whenever he moved, indicating that they were nowhere near fine. His left hand's knuckles also weren't close to being healed. But the smaller cuts and lacerations had already begun to scab over. Even his nose was way more healed than it had any right to be.
Huh. Another reason why this system kinda rules.
"Seems like they're not too bad." Chad gave a cheery grin of confirmation. "Gimme another day or two and I'll be good as new!"
"I'm glad to hear that." Jerry's tone took on a note of relief. "Your state upon returning looked quite worrisome, to say the least."
"Nah, you should've seen me before they patched me up. That was the real horror show."
The dark-haired youth grimaced. "I'm rather glad that I missed it. Would you like a cup of tea, by the way?"
Chad shook his head. "Sorry, can't stand the stuff. Never even liked sweet tea, to be honest."
"Ah. That's a shame." Jerry sipped his own steaming cup again. "Your grandmother has quite the selection."
"Yeah?" Chad chuckled. "It comes from all over. My Paw Paw would always bring her the good stuff whenever he traveled."
"Really?" Jerry mused. "That explains it. I did not expect to find pu-erh of this quality in a place like this... No offense, of course."
"Nah, you're good."
The pair sat there for a moment in silence as Jerry continued to drink his tea. In the background, the sounds of cabinets opening and food sizzling on the stove filled the room as the smell of fresh bacon wafted toward them.
After a little while, Jerry began to open his mouth, then stopped. He hesitated for a moment before shaking his head and speaking anyway.
"Chadwick?"
"What's up, Jer-bear?"
"Might I... ask you a favor?"
"'Course!" Chad straightened in his chair. "Anytime."
Jerry closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. When he spoke, it was in lowered tones. "Might I ask for your help in... leveling up?"
"Oh, you wanna go kill some shit?"
"I-- I would quite honestly prefer not to, if possible." Jerry's mouth twisted in distaste. "Perhaps I would be more suited to being a scout or providing supportive benefits that do not involve direct combat. Such as those that Perci-- er, Squawkers performs."
"Oh, that makes sense." Chad nodded "We can do that! We'll just drag you along while we go kill some shit then, and you can help!"
"That's-- well..." He fiddled with the handle of his teacup. "I am not entirely sure if my sister would be on board with the idea. She can be... overprotective, as you well know. So I'm not sure whether to involve her at all."
"Oh. Good point." Chad scratched his chin. "Well, if it's not super dangerous, it should be ok, right? We can see if anyone's got some kinda rabid squirrel problem or a rat infestation and take care of that. No need to go fighting more boars. And you''ll have me there, too!"
"That would be... excellent." The guy's shoulders sank in apparent relief. "Thank you. Truly."
"Though I gotta ask... what changed your mind?"
Jerry looked down at his tea, then toward the old woman in the kitchen. "I... considered what you said. About using stats to improve my playing abilities. After seeing how they've so quickly improved your grandmother's health to this extent, I... I can't help but wonder." He bit his lip. "I understand that it may sound selfish. And perhaps it is. But I know my limitations, and I am no fighter. But... if this may also allow me to become more of an asset as well, then..."
It did sound a bit selfish. But in a way, Chad understood. He felt the same way about arm wrestling, after all. It was the whole reason why he'd come down the path he had. Just because his path was a bit more well-suited for caving in faces didn't change the passion behind it. Even if everything associated with arm wrestling had been worthless in this new reality, he probably would have still pursued being the best regardless.
Chad reached out and set a hand on Jerry's shoulder. The guy flinched at the contact, but relaxed when the grotesque limb didn't immediately shatter his bones.
"Don't worry, Jer. I totally understand." Chad shared a reassuring grin with the Musician. "Leave it to me."
Unfortunately, answers didn't come nearly as easily as they expected.
When Chad started this conversation, he'd expected the biggest challenge to be getting Gram Gram to pull up the status screen at all. But it wasn't. They had failed to take into account a critical variable -- tech literacy.
"Oh, dear. Now it says 'traits' at the top, there." The old woman read out.
"Ok," Chad let out a breath. "That's not what we want. Go back to the previous screen."
"How do I do that again, dearie?"
Annie spoke with astonishing patience. "Just think 'back' or 'status' or--"
"Oh, whoopsie daisy. It closed again..."
The pair slumped forward in defeat. Helping Gram Gram navigate through the menus was as painful as trying to help fix her printer over the phone -- a comparison made even more apt because neither him nor Annie could actually see the screens in front of the old woman. They had to rely on her to read out every little thing, and her tendency to go off on tangents wasn't making that an easy task, either.
Chad looked over at Annie as she tried again, coaching Gram Gram from the beginning about how to open her traits menu. Damn. She's a dang saint. How come she's never been this patient with me?
After a straight hour of work though, they did manage to get a pretty complete picture of Gram Gram's abilities. And what a picture it was.
The elderly woman headed off to bed shortly after, leaving everyone else alone to talk. Chad headed to the living room, settling on the couch while the others perched on other pieces of living room furniture.
"So..." Squawkers began the conversation.
"So." Annie agreed. "We're sure now. She gets experience from the cats."
"Right." Chad nodded. "That's how she's been leveling up."
The Crazy Cat Woman class came with two unique traits. The first gave her 5% of the experience earned by each feline she owned. It didn't seem like a lot, but the woman had a lot of cats. The fact that she was level four spoke to that. As for the second trait...
"I know we had her put all those points in constitution just now," Squawkers took up his usual perch on Chad's shoulder, still keeping an eye out for any cats that decided to come back inside. "But is that the best idea always?"
"It is for her." Chad nodded. "It'll keep her alive. She had a damn 4 in the stat, Squawk. A four!"
"Right, we definitely needed to put some in there for her," Annie agreed. "But she's up to a solid sixteen now. And if her stats also buff the cats, there might be better places to put 'em, too. I mean, think about it. If she's got an army of super fast ninja assassin cats hangin' around the house, nothin's gonna touch her!"
"True..." Chad imagined his grandmother leaping about the living room right alongside the cats. Although even if they had dumped her twelve available points into dexterity, it probably wouldn't have gotten her to that level. That stat, like her constitution, had also started at a four. Shockingly though, neither was her lowest stat. That honor belonged to her strength, sitting pretty at a meager three.
"What about wisdom?" Squawkers suggested. "That's been helping me with scouting, so maybe it'll help the cats too. Plus, those things have enough dexterity as is."
"Also true," Chad nodded. "But Gram Gram is pretty darn wise. She may not always seem like it, but she gives great advice."
"I don't think that's what having a high wisdom stat means, Chad." Annie pointed out.
"Well then why would they call it that? And why would she have a twenty when she can't see shi– anything?"
Squawkers continued on. "I dunno exactly how it works, but I can promise that wisdom does a lot for my perception. I really think that of the mental stats, wisdom's her best bet."
"Right," Annie agreed. "She's good on charisma, definitely, but why not give her more intelligence? That might help sharpen her mind, too. Having a nine can't be great for her."
"I don't think making the cats smarter is a good idea." Chad frowned. "Their egos are already pretty big as is. Besides, nine's a totally respectable intelligence. High, even."
Squawkers bobbed his head in fervent agreement. "Agreed. Though one can never have too much intelligence, I'd say! Maybe once her physical stats are a little better we can focus there."
"Alright." Annie crossed her arms. "So in the future, we have her focus on constitution first, then strength and dexterity until she's a bit more… mobile. Then in the future, more constitution and maybe we see whether she needs intelligence or wisdom more?"
"Sounds good to me." Chad nodded. "I wanna put at least half her points into constitution from here on, though. I don't want her getting hurt by anything."
At the round of nods, Chad stretched with a yawn. "Sounds good. Guess we will have an army of ninja cats pretty soon. Hopefully a ninja gramma too."
"I guess so." Annie shook her head in disbelief. "Still, I can't believe her… How do you end up with twenties in charisma and wisdom, then absolutely garbage physical stats like that? Is that what being old feels like?"
"No idea." Chad shrugged as he laid back on the worn sofa. "I can respect the minmaxing, though."
Squawkers sighed. "Guess impracticality runs in the family…"
Chad grinned. "I learned from the best. We'll talk to her about all this tomorrow."
With that done, Chad relaxed. He was a bit curious what Gram Gram's newly improved constitution would do for the woman, as well as the cats outside. Maybe there wouldn't be a noticeable difference until they got hurt. Either way, he wouldn't wake her up to check right now.
Still. I can't believe my gramma's got a damn army on her hands. That's awesome.
Between her traits, increased stats, and a new skill that passively reduced skill cooldowns for all the cats she owned, Gram Gram was pretty set. What the system defined as her "owning" a cat was unclear, but judging by her level, it seemed to apply to most of the ones around here. It made sense, given how she fed every stray she could find. It also made him feel a bit better about her safety.
As long as she can keep doing what she's doing... I couldn't really ask for more.
***
Sunlight streamed through the partially closed curtains, illuminating the living room with an early-morning glow. A thin beam of light landed on Chad's face, slowly returning him to consciousness.
Huh? He blinked his eyes open and took in the scene groggily. Damn. Must have fallen asleep pretty quick last night.
Looking down, a thick blanket covered him where he still lay on the couch. The thoughtful gesture made him smile. He recognized a pair of quiet voices chatting nearby as he sat up with a stretch and a groan.
"Good morning, Chadwick." Gram Gram called over from the kitchen table as he stood.
"Morning, Gram Gram." He waved at the woman where she sat. To her right sat Jerry, his hair still wet from a shower. A china teapot and a pair of cups occupied the space between them.
Is it me, or is she sitting up a little straighter?
Chad made his way toward the table. "How'd you sleep?"
"Oh, quite well, actually." The old woman sipped her tea. "In fact, that might be the best I've slept in ages! Why, my joints didn't even flare up once!"
Warm pride filled his chest at the report. Wow. That constitution really worked, didn't it?
As he looked, he realized it was more than that. He hadn't noticed so much the night before, but his gramma's skin seemed less ashy and pale now. Even better, her expression glowed with more warmth and life than he'd seen in a decade, if not longer. She was healthier, there was no doubt about it.
"Here, dearie." Gram Gram scooted back from the table. "I'm sure you're hungry. Let me fix everyone some breakfast."
She got up from the table and, to his astonishment, began to shuffle toward the kitchen without her walker. Her pace was still incredibly slow and plodding, but that didn't matter. She could walk.
"Gram Gram!" Chad shot to his feet, reaching out instinctively. "Be careful!"
"Oh don't worry, Chadwick." She waved him off with one gnarled hand. "I feel fit as a fiddle!"
As he continued to gape at his gramma's sudden changes, Jerry cleared his throat. Chad snapped out of his shock and glanced over at the younger man, settling back into his seat.
"Mornin' Jer-bear!"
The Musician winced, then seemed to relax slightly. "Good morning to you, as well. How are your injuries?"
"Oh, good question." Checking himself over, Chad found that they were healing up quite well. Some of the more severe stab wounds still sent a lance of pain through him whenever he moved, indicating that they were nowhere near fine. His left hand's knuckles also weren't close to being healed. But the smaller cuts and lacerations had already begun to scab over. Even his nose was way more healed than it had any right to be.
Huh. Another reason why this system kinda rules.
"Seems like they're not too bad." Chad gave a cheery grin of confirmation. "Gimme another day or two and I'll be good as new!"
"I'm glad to hear that." Jerry's tone took on a note of relief. "Your state upon returning looked quite worrisome, to say the least."
"Nah, you should've seen me before they patched me up. That was the real horror show."
The dark-haired youth grimaced. "I'm rather glad that I missed it. Would you like a cup of tea, by the way?"
Chad shook his head. "Sorry, can't stand the stuff. Never even liked sweet tea, to be honest."
"Ah. That's a shame." Jerry sipped his own steaming cup again. "Your grandmother has quite the selection."
"Yeah?" Chad chuckled. "It comes from all over. My Paw Paw would always bring her the good stuff whenever he traveled."
"Really?" Jerry mused. "That explains it. I did not expect to find pu-erh of this quality in a place like this... No offense, of course."
"Nah, you're good."
The pair sat there for a moment in silence as Jerry continued to drink his tea. In the background, the sounds of cabinets opening and food sizzling on the stove filled the room as the smell of fresh bacon wafted toward them.
After a little while, Jerry began to open his mouth, then stopped. He hesitated for a moment before shaking his head and speaking anyway.
"Chadwick?"
"What's up, Jer-bear?"
"Might I... ask you a favor?"
"'Course!" Chad straightened in his chair. "Anytime."
Jerry closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. When he spoke, it was in lowered tones. "Might I ask for your help in... leveling up?"
"Oh, you wanna go kill some shit?"
"I-- I would quite honestly prefer not to, if possible." Jerry's mouth twisted in distaste. "Perhaps I would be more suited to being a scout or providing supportive benefits that do not involve direct combat. Such as those that Perci-- er, Squawkers performs."
"Oh, that makes sense." Chad nodded "We can do that! We'll just drag you along while we go kill some shit then, and you can help!"
"That's-- well..." He fiddled with the handle of his teacup. "I am not entirely sure if my sister would be on board with the idea. She can be... overprotective, as you well know. So I'm not sure whether to involve her at all."
"Oh. Good point." Chad scratched his chin. "Well, if it's not super dangerous, it should be ok, right? We can see if anyone's got some kinda rabid squirrel problem or a rat infestation and take care of that. No need to go fighting more boars. And you''ll have me there, too!"
"That would be... excellent." The guy's shoulders sank in apparent relief. "Thank you. Truly."
"Though I gotta ask... what changed your mind?"
Jerry looked down at his tea, then toward the old woman in the kitchen. "I... considered what you said. About using stats to improve my playing abilities. After seeing how they've so quickly improved your grandmother's health to this extent, I... I can't help but wonder." He bit his lip. "I understand that it may sound selfish. And perhaps it is. But I know my limitations, and I am no fighter. But... if this may also allow me to become more of an asset as well, then..."
It did sound a bit selfish. But in a way, Chad understood. He felt the same way about arm wrestling, after all. It was the whole reason why he'd come down the path he had. Just because his path was a bit more well-suited for caving in faces didn't change the passion behind it. Even if everything associated with arm wrestling had been worthless in this new reality, he probably would have still pursued being the best regardless.
Chad reached out and set a hand on Jerry's shoulder. The guy flinched at the contact, but relaxed when the grotesque limb didn't immediately shatter his bones.
"Don't worry, Jer. I totally understand." Chad shared a reassuring grin with the Musician. "Leave it to me."
