I did not speak during the entire journey. Instead going over and over in my head how I would explain this all to them. There was no escaping my fate now; I was consigned to it. The other two remained silent as well, though I was unsure why. Nervous anticipation perhaps? I did not know. Nor did it matter.
“Hey look, it’s Izzy’s cousin,” Claire joked, pointing at the doorbell beside the front door of my home. She giggled to herself, while Izzy rolled her eyes and groaned. I didn’t react at all.
“Oh my god,” Izzy groaned exasperatedly. “You should have said a silly pun to get Rachel and Oscar to believe you. Emily would never say something like that.”
Claire giggled uncontrollably, and I couldn’t help but smile. She hadn’t taken away my nerves, but she had helped me to relax a bit by being her silly self. I decided to tease her.
“How is it Izzy’s cousin?” I asked with as much incredulity as I could manage. Claire seemed to buy it.
“Because Izzy is a bell!” she exclaimed excitedly. The bright smile on her face was almost infectious.
“Well, that doesn’t mean they’re related. I mean, you and I are both human, but we’re not cousins.”
Claire pouted. She didn’t like my bulletproof rebuttal. “You’re no fun,” she grumbled.
I shot her a cheeky smile, which only served to make her pout even harder. Izzy, for her part, gave Claire a gentle pat on the back. “It’s ok, I liked your joke,” she said reassuringly.
“Thank you, I’m glad someone appreciates my puns,” Claire said, giving me a disapproving glare. I knew she wasn’t seriously disappointed in me; it was all part of the act. I very much appreciated her lightening the mood a bit. My nerves hadn’t dissipated completely, but her humour had helped.
I inhaled deeply, then let out a long sigh to prepare myself before entering the house. It was unusual for me to enter through the front door, but it wasn’t too big a deal. I asked the two girls once again to promise me that they would speak of this to no one. No matter what. What I was about to tell them was to stay between us.
With their confirmations, I opened the door, and we all entered the building. I couldn’t believe I was about to do this. After so long of telling myself that no one could ever find out the truth, here I was about to simply say it out loud. But there was no getting out of this now. It was either this, or have Izzy figure out everything on her own. At least this way I could assure that she wouldn’t reveal anything to anyone. I trusted her to keep a secret like this.
Dad was in the lounge room, watching tv as per usual. The company for which he’d had a job interview still hadn’t gotten back to him, even after nearly a week. So, he still spent most of his time at home. Basically doing what he always chastised me for doing: staying at home doing nothing. Hypocrisy aside, that wasn’t important right now.
He noticed the three of us walking into the room and muted the tv. “Oh! Good afternoon,” he said. “You’ve brought friends! And girls no less.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and I wanted nothing more in that moment than to die of embarrassment. Did dad get his own superpower specifically to mortify his children? Or was that just part of being a dad?
“Can we talk? It’s important,” I said, doing my best to shrug off the embarrassment he’d given me.
“Of course,” he nodded, suddenly taking on a much more serious tone, “But first! Tea and coffee! What can I get you all?”
Ugh, did we really have to do this? Fine.
Claire asked for a coffee, while Isabel requested tea. I didn’t want anything, but dad insisted that he get me something before heading off to the kitchen. The rest of us sat down on the lounge and waited. Claire and Isabel wondered when I would explain everything, but I insisted that we wait until we all had our drinks. Truth be told, I was really waiting for dad to return, but I didn’t mention that.
In the meantime, I took off my gloves, thankful that I no longer needed them. I wiped my hands on my shorts to wipe off the excess sweat and shook them about to dry off any remaining liquid. Isabel stared at my hands curiously.
“Is it safe to take your gloves off?” Izzy asked tentatively.
“It’s fine,” I responded. She stared at me as though she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. A feeling with which I was particularly familiar. She at least trusted that I had told the truth, and it was indeed perfectly ok for me to remove my gloves at this particular moment.
A few minutes later, dad returned with our drinks. He gave me a hot milo, despite me not asking for anything. It was fine. I wasn’t going to let it go to waste now that I had it.
Dad sat down beside me, blowing over the top of his coffee before setting it down on the coffee table in front of him. “So, are you going to introduce me to your friends?”
“Right,” I said, taking a deep breath. “You remember Jaxon, don’t you? Really tall guy?”
“Of course. Hard to forget a lad that big.”
I gestured vaguely at Claire. He nodded slowly. “I see.”
My friend waved to my dad and smiled. “I go by Claire now,” she said cheerily.
“That’s a lovely name,” dad commented, picking up his coffee and blowing on it then taking a sip.
Claire blushed. This was perhaps the first time I’d ever seen her even a little flustered. “Thank you.”
“And this is Isabel,” I said, gesturing at my other friend.
“Ah yes, I remember you,” dad said, “You were that girl at that cricket game a few weeks ago.”
“Um, yes, that’s me. Hi,” Izzy said with a small wave.
Dad took another sip of his coffee. “So, are you and Ben together yet?”
Izzy’s face instantly changed to a colour somewhat resembling that of her hair, and I felt my own face go flush as well. “DAAAAD!” I whined, completely mortified. How could he ask such a thing!?
“WAIT THAT’S YOUR DAD!?”
The shock from Isabel suddenly shouting was enough to make dad visibly jump from his seat, which was quite unfortunate given that he was still holding his mug of coffee. Hot liquid spilt from the mug, landing directly onto dad’s pants.
“Bugger!” he exclaimed, standing up and placing his coffee back down onto the coffee table. He grabbed one of the serviettes that he always kept nearby in case of spills and soaked up the excess liquid that clung to the outside of the mug. He then exited the room to change into a clean set of pants, but not before Isabel apologised profusely for spooking him. He muttered to himself as he left, though I was unable to hear it clearly enough to make out anything.
Izzy suddenly looked extremely out of her depth. She suddenly went extremely pale, as though she had seen a ghost. She swallowed a lump in her throat. Realisation had struck her, and it was painfully obvious. All the necessary pieces had been supplied, and now she had evidently fit them all together.
Although Izzy was unsure how exactly to feel about the bombshell that had just been dropped onto her, Claire didn’t seem all too surprised. However, I suspected she already knew about my dad.
An awkward silence befell the room. I took the opportunity to grab my own hot drink from the coffee table and take a sip. Still a little bit hot. I blew on the surface to cool it a little and placed it back down.
“Ben?” Izzy asked, her voice shaky.
“Yes?”
I steeled myself for what was about to come. I knew that the reveal was nigh. That was why we were even here, in my home. I told myself to remain steady and calm. To not freak out once Isabel knew the whole truth. A difficult endeavour, but I had to try.
“Did…” she paused to compose herself. This was a rather difficult situation after all. “Did you transform your dad as well?”
My preparation was all for naught, as I felt my breath catch in my throat. It didn’t matter that I knew this was coming, my voice had waved me goodbye as it left for the day. But it was ok, I didn’t need my voice to answer her question. As nervous as I was, I was still able to nod my affirmation. There. It was done. The truth was out, and Isabel would no longer interrogate me for information.
I didn’t think it possible for eyes to bug out of their sockets as much as Izzy’s just had. It was almost cartoonish. I suspected part of her didn’t want to believe it because despite having solved the riddle for herself, she still looked to Claire for confirmation, who simply nodded. Isabel’s mouth was fully agape. Completely and utterly speechless.
While I felt a part of me die for having divulged such a sensitive secret, I knew that this was the path of least resistance. The pain she would have caused if she had continued to pester me for information would have been simply unbearable. My only hope now was that she stuck by me, remaining my friend. At the very least, we were both friends with Claire, and I knew that that would help immensely. Claire would try her best to keep Izzy and my friendship intact. That was simply who she was.
I was still quite surprised at how well Claire had taken to this. Unlike Isabel, she’d had her entire life thrown into chaos because of me – irreparably altered by my curse. Despite all that, she stuck by me, and hadn’t judged me.
Eventually, Isabel composed herself enough to speak once again. “This is a lot to take in,” she said.
I sighed, unable to respond with words. She was right of course. It really was a lot to take in, for anyone.
“I take it you can’t change people back?” Izzy asked. I shook my head. Oh, how I wished that were possible. The amount of pain and suffering this had all caused was immeasurable. To be able to reverse everything, while it wouldn’t undo everything that had happened, at least my dad and brother would get to be themselves again. I doubted mum and dad would get back together again after all mum had done, but that was no longer important to me anymore. Seeing dad and James happy was all that mattered now.
It was at this time that dad re-entered the room, wearing a new set of pants. “Right, sorry about that,” he said, sitting down once again and grabbing his coffee. Now that it had cooled down a bit, he no longer needed to blow on it, and took quite a large gulp. “So, the cat’s out of the bag now, I suppose. I would have thought you’d have a bit more tact though Ben.”
“Sorry,” I replied sheepishly, staring nervously down at my hot milo.
“Um, I’ve actually known about you since we first met,” Claire interjected, raising her hand as if she were in a classroom.
That gave dad pause. He stared at her with a raised eyebrow, while I realised just how futile my attempts at hiding my secret from Claire really were. She’d known for that long? Of course she had. Still, I wanted to retroactively curl up into a ball and die. She’d known this whole time and I had no idea! She didn’t even mention it.
“I know I’m hardly feminine,” dad said, “but I find it hard to believe that you figured out I was actually a man, given…” He looked down and gestured at his chest.
“Right! Uhh, this is gonna sound pretty absurd, but when I look at people, I kinda just, know things about them. Things I really have no business knowing, to be honest. Anyway, one of those things is the names that a person goes by.”
“And dad’s name is fairly masculine,” I nodded.
“Well, that, and the fact that he goes by ‘dad’,” Claire said.
“But his name isn’t ‘dad’,” I rebutted.
“Right, but you call him that, and he responds to it. Ergo, it’s a name that he goes by.”
I supposed that made sense.
“That is a rather fascinating ability that you possess Claire, I must say,” dad commented, and my friend blushed. I was fairly surprised that dad hadn’t shown an ounce of scepticism. Her claim was rather farfetched, though perhaps his experience with the supernatural made him more open to what should be impossible. “What other information can you glean about a person? If you feel comfortable of course.”
“A few things,” she said, beginning to list off everything, staring up at the ceiling, and counting each item on her fingers as she did so. “Besides names, I also know a person’s age down to the minute, their height, their weight, their biggest interests, what kinds of foods and drinks they like, their orientation, their ge—”
Ding dong! The doorbell rang, interrupting Claire. I knew the only people it could have possibly been at this time were mum and James. Which meant I would need to be the one to answer, since dad was ‘at work’ right now.
“I’ll get it,” I announced, standing up. As I made my way over to the hallway and to the front door, Claire – curious as to who it could be ringing the doorbell – followed me. It felt as though she was trying to be subtle about it, but I was too perceptive. Well, that, and the fact that she was so big that it was difficult for her to be inconspicuous on a good day.
Opening the door revealed exactly whom I expected it to be. Both of them were in a capital ‘M’ Mood, though mum’s expression quickly shifted to one of intrigue at the sight of the tall girl looming behind me. James didn’t care, brushing past me as soon as he was able. No doubt he wanted out of his school uniform as soon as possible. We could exchange pleasantries later; I didn’t mind.
“Oh! You have a friend over,” mum said in surprise. “And a girl no less.” Ugh, were both my parents going to be like this? I wished they’d stop.
“Hi mum,” I replied, “Do you remember me mentioning that really tall guy?”
“Yes, of course, but what does he have to do with… oh.” Looked like she realised that I’d turned said friend into a girl, with a little help from the gesture I made in Claire’s direction.
“Hi Mrs. Ashford,” Claire said with a cautious wave. “I’m Claire.”
“It’s nice to meet you Claire,” mum replied with a smile, “It’s nice to see you embracing your newfound femininity.” Was that a slight against James?
“Thanks?” Claire said, somewhat unsure of how to respond.
“I wish my Chloe could do the same.” Ok, it was definitely a slight against James. Did she loathe her own child for not living up to her absurd expectations? By this point, I seriously wouldn’t put it past her.
“Are you done?” I interjected, disgruntled.
“There’s no need to get snippy with me, young man.”
“Goodbye mum.” I closed the door in her face. And then locked it. Not that that prevented her from opening the door; she still had a key. But that didn’t matter. I knew she wouldn’t try to force the door open. She probably didn’t even want to be here anyway.
I sighed as the latch clicked into place, and the sight of my mother was obscured by the wooden door. My patience with her was beginning to wear thin, but I had no idea what to do. I would need to continue dealing with her for the foreseeable future, and so would my younger brother, who had completely lost his patience with her long, long ago.
Part of me wanted to blow up in her face, but I knew that I never would. And not just because it would fail to accomplish anything. She’d probably double down if anything.
“Who’s Chloe?” Claire asked as we made our way back to the living room.
“I thought you just knew people’s names. ‘Chloe’ is what my mum calls my brother.”
“Oh. Well, if that’s the case, I didn’t know because James doesn’t recognise that as his name.”
“I see,” I replied, intrigued by this new information about Claire’s ability.
“Why does she call him that anyway?” she asked.
“Same reason you call yourself Claire.”
“Oh.”
We returned to the living room and we each sat back down. Dad and Izzy welcomed us back. I grabbed my now lukewarm milo and took a large gulp. Amazing how my mood could drop so dramatically after such a short conversation with my mother, and I wasn’t even in a good mood to begin with.
“So Ben, what did I tell you?” dad said.
I shook my head, not having a single clue about what he was referring to. “What did you tell me?”
“I told you, that your friends wouldn’t judge you for what happened, and that they’d stick by you.”
Did he? I couldn’t remember. “Oh yeah.”
“And what do you know, I was right.”
“Sure,” I grumbled barely audibly.
“I will say though,” he continued, directing his attention to the two girls sitting with us and gripping his coffee mug tightly with both hands, “thank you two for sticking by Ben through all this. This whole situation has been quite hard on our family, and especially Ben. So, it’s nice to see that his friends care about him despite everything.”
“It’s no big deal,” Claire smiled. “Who would abandon their friend over something so minor?”
Dad raised an eyebrow as he took a sip from his drink. “I would hardly call Ben changing your sex ‘minor’,” he replied.
“Ok, well, yeah, it’s a big change but I really don’t mind it actually,” Claire said, waving her hand about reassuringly.
“You don’t?”
She shook her head cheerfully. “Nope! I mean, it’s been a hell of an adjustment, don’t get me wrong. But like, I get to see a pretty girl when I look in the mirror now! Oh! And I don’t have to duck under doorways anymore! That’s a nice bonus. I really missed that.” She rested her chin on the palm of her hand and smiled lazily, staring off at nothing in particular.
This was… odd. Her reaction to having her sex changed was completely incongruent with the reactions of all the others I’d transformed. Everyone else took to the change poorly, expressing that fact in quite clear terms. Except Claire. Who asked others to call her by a new name. To refer to her by feminine pronouns. And who stated that she didn’t mind it. It sounded like she was actually enjoying it.
She couldn’t be like me, could she? Someone who secretly desired to be a girl for as long as they could remember, but kept it hidden from all others out of fear?
No. That was absurd. I was a freak. My best friend wasn’t. I shouldn’t have ever even entertained the thought. She wasn’t a freak like me. She was far too kind for that.
Claire was simply trying to convince herself and everyone else that everything was fine by insisting that nothing was wrong. She was merely trying to cope with the awful situation in which I’d placed her. She was struggling, like all the others, but her desire to seem well put together meant she couldn’t tell anyone. She was simply wearing a mask, like she said she always had been. She already had it rough from what she’d told me, and I’d made it all the harder for her. Because that’s what I was good at. Ruining lives.
I spotted movement at the peripherals of my vision, and perked up, noticing James had entered the room and was wondering what was going on. He’d changed out of his school uniform and into his boy clothes. I waved him over, and he tentatively approached, sitting down beside me on the lounge.
“Who are these people?” James asked curiously, staring at my two friends.
“These are my friends. You remember Isabel, don’t you?” He glanced over at the aforementioned girl and gave me a curt nod. “And that’s Jaxon, or well, was Jaxon,” I said, pointing at Claire.
James’ eyes widened in shock. “Ben, you didn’t!” he exclaimed.
I sighed and nodded slowly. “I did,” I replied solemnly.
“It was hardly Ben’s fault,” Claire interjected, “They fell over, and I helped pick them back up, but one of their gloves had loosened slightly and so… yeah…”
“Speaking of the gloves,” Isabel asked, “Shouldn’t you be wearing them around your brother, Ben? So that you don’t, you know…”
I shook my head. “That’s not necessary.”
She quickly realised what I was implying and let out a quiet “Oh”.
“Please don’t treat James any differently than you would any other boy,” I added.
“Of course!” Claire exclaimed, while Izzy nodded. I smiled, thankful that my friends could be so understanding.
With all the important things out of the way, the conversation quickly shifted to a topic that was much more light hearted. Which was especially good for James, who had undoubtedly had a terrible day at his school – the unfortunate norm.
Claire, after finishing her coffee, challenged my brother to a duel in a video game, which he accepted excitedly. It was fun watching the two of them go at it, though I could tell that Claire was very much going easy on James. But that didn’t matter; what mattered was that my brother was having fun. Claire was treating him exactly as she had in the past, as if the fact that I’d transformed him was irrelevant. True to her word, she saw him just like any other boy. It put a smile on both mine and dad’s faces.
Eventually, it started getting late. Dad offered to cook dinner for my two friends, but they both respectfully declined. I made sure to wave the both of them goodbye at the front door as they left.
However, before they departed, Izzy turned to Claire. “By the way, what are we going to do about Oscar and Rachel?” Izzy asked.
Claire rubbed at her chin while humming quietly. “I’ll think of something tonight.”
“Do you want to brainstorm with us?”
Claire waved her hand dismissively. “No, no, it’s fine. I’m sure I’ll think of something.”
Izzy didn’t seem convinced. “If you say so… I’m just worried you won’t approach this with the necessary care.”
Claire smirked at Izzy ever so cheekily. “Not to worry, I’ll give it just the right amount of Claire.” I rolled my eyes at that one.
“That’s what I’m worried about,” Izzy mumbled almost inaudibly. I wasn’t sure Claire heard her, which was probably intentional.
With that, we all gave our final goodbyes, and my two friends left for real.
I did not speak during the entire journey. Instead going over and over in my head how I would explain this all to them. There was no escaping my fate now; I was consigned to it. The other two remained silent as well, though I was unsure why. Nervous anticipation perhaps? I did not know. Nor did it matter.
“Hey look, it’s Izzy’s cousin,” Claire joked, pointing at the doorbell beside the front door of my home. She giggled to herself, while Izzy rolled her eyes and groaned. I didn’t react at all.
“Oh my god,” Izzy groaned exasperatedly. “You should have said a silly pun to get Rachel and Oscar to believe you. Emily would never say something like that.”
Claire giggled uncontrollably, and I couldn’t help but smile. She hadn’t taken away my nerves, but she had helped me to relax a bit by being her silly self. I decided to tease her.
“How is it Izzy’s cousin?” I asked with as much incredulity as I could manage. Claire seemed to buy it.
“Because Izzy is a bell!” she exclaimed excitedly. The bright smile on her face was almost infectious.
“Well, that doesn’t mean they’re related. I mean, you and I are both human, but we’re not cousins.”
Claire pouted. She didn’t like my bulletproof rebuttal. “You’re no fun,” she grumbled.
I shot her a cheeky smile, which only served to make her pout even harder. Izzy, for her part, gave Claire a gentle pat on the back. “It’s ok, I liked your joke,” she said reassuringly.
“Thank you, I’m glad someone appreciates my puns,” Claire said, giving me a disapproving glare. I knew she wasn’t seriously disappointed in me; it was all part of the act. I very much appreciated her lightening the mood a bit. My nerves hadn’t dissipated completely, but her humour had helped.
I inhaled deeply, then let out a long sigh to prepare myself before entering the house. It was unusual for me to enter through the front door, but it wasn’t too big a deal. I asked the two girls once again to promise me that they would speak of this to no one. No matter what. What I was about to tell them was to stay between us.
With their confirmations, I opened the door, and we all entered the building. I couldn’t believe I was about to do this. After so long of telling myself that no one could ever find out the truth, here I was about to simply say it out loud. But there was no getting out of this now. It was either this, or have Izzy figure out everything on her own. At least this way I could assure that she wouldn’t reveal anything to anyone. I trusted her to keep a secret like this.
Dad was in the lounge room, watching tv as per usual. The company for which he’d had a job interview still hadn’t gotten back to him, even after nearly a week. So, he still spent most of his time at home. Basically doing what he always chastised me for doing: staying at home doing nothing. Hypocrisy aside, that wasn’t important right now.
He noticed the three of us walking into the room and muted the tv. “Oh! Good afternoon,” he said. “You’ve brought friends! And girls no less.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and I wanted nothing more in that moment than to die of embarrassment. Did dad get his own superpower specifically to mortify his children? Or was that just part of being a dad?
“Can we talk? It’s important,” I said, doing my best to shrug off the embarrassment he’d given me.
“Of course,” he nodded, suddenly taking on a much more serious tone, “But first! Tea and coffee! What can I get you all?”
Ugh, did we really have to do this? Fine.
Claire asked for a coffee, while Isabel requested tea. I didn’t want anything, but dad insisted that he get me something before heading off to the kitchen. The rest of us sat down on the lounge and waited. Claire and Isabel wondered when I would explain everything, but I insisted that we wait until we all had our drinks. Truth be told, I was really waiting for dad to return, but I didn’t mention that.
In the meantime, I took off my gloves, thankful that I no longer needed them. I wiped my hands on my shorts to wipe off the excess sweat and shook them about to dry off any remaining liquid. Isabel stared at my hands curiously.
“Is it safe to take your gloves off?” Izzy asked tentatively.
“It’s fine,” I responded. She stared at me as though she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. A feeling with which I was particularly familiar. She at least trusted that I had told the truth, and it was indeed perfectly ok for me to remove my gloves at this particular moment.
A few minutes later, dad returned with our drinks. He gave me a hot milo, despite me not asking for anything. It was fine. I wasn’t going to let it go to waste now that I had it.
Dad sat down beside me, blowing over the top of his coffee before setting it down on the coffee table in front of him. “So, are you going to introduce me to your friends?”
“Right,” I said, taking a deep breath. “You remember Jaxon, don’t you? Really tall guy?”
“Of course. Hard to forget a lad that big.”
I gestured vaguely at Claire. He nodded slowly. “I see.”
My friend waved to my dad and smiled. “I go by Claire now,” she said cheerily.
“That’s a lovely name,” dad commented, picking up his coffee and blowing on it then taking a sip.
Claire blushed. This was perhaps the first time I’d ever seen her even a little flustered. “Thank you.”
“And this is Isabel,” I said, gesturing at my other friend.
“Ah yes, I remember you,” dad said, “You were that girl at that cricket game a few weeks ago.”
“Um, yes, that’s me. Hi,” Izzy said with a small wave.
Dad took another sip of his coffee. “So, are you and Ben together yet?”
Izzy’s face instantly changed to a colour somewhat resembling that of her hair, and I felt my own face go flush as well. “DAAAAD!” I whined, completely mortified. How could he ask such a thing!?
“WAIT THAT’S YOUR DAD!?”
The shock from Isabel suddenly shouting was enough to make dad visibly jump from his seat, which was quite unfortunate given that he was still holding his mug of coffee. Hot liquid spilt from the mug, landing directly onto dad’s pants.
“Bugger!” he exclaimed, standing up and placing his coffee back down onto the coffee table. He grabbed one of the serviettes that he always kept nearby in case of spills and soaked up the excess liquid that clung to the outside of the mug. He then exited the room to change into a clean set of pants, but not before Isabel apologised profusely for spooking him. He muttered to himself as he left, though I was unable to hear it clearly enough to make out anything.
Izzy suddenly looked extremely out of her depth. She suddenly went extremely pale, as though she had seen a ghost. She swallowed a lump in her throat. Realisation had struck her, and it was painfully obvious. All the necessary pieces had been supplied, and now she had evidently fit them all together.
Although Izzy was unsure how exactly to feel about the bombshell that had just been dropped onto her, Claire didn’t seem all too surprised. However, I suspected she already knew about my dad.
An awkward silence befell the room. I took the opportunity to grab my own hot drink from the coffee table and take a sip. Still a little bit hot. I blew on the surface to cool it a little and placed it back down.
“Ben?” Izzy asked, her voice shaky.
“Yes?”
I steeled myself for what was about to come. I knew that the reveal was nigh. That was why we were even here, in my home. I told myself to remain steady and calm. To not freak out once Isabel knew the whole truth. A difficult endeavour, but I had to try.
“Did…” she paused to compose herself. This was a rather difficult situation after all. “Did you transform your dad as well?”
My preparation was all for naught, as I felt my breath catch in my throat. It didn’t matter that I knew this was coming, my voice had waved me goodbye as it left for the day. But it was ok, I didn’t need my voice to answer her question. As nervous as I was, I was still able to nod my affirmation. There. It was done. The truth was out, and Isabel would no longer interrogate me for information.
I didn’t think it possible for eyes to bug out of their sockets as much as Izzy’s just had. It was almost cartoonish. I suspected part of her didn’t want to believe it because despite having solved the riddle for herself, she still looked to Claire for confirmation, who simply nodded. Isabel’s mouth was fully agape. Completely and utterly speechless.
While I felt a part of me die for having divulged such a sensitive secret, I knew that this was the path of least resistance. The pain she would have caused if she had continued to pester me for information would have been simply unbearable. My only hope now was that she stuck by me, remaining my friend. At the very least, we were both friends with Claire, and I knew that that would help immensely. Claire would try her best to keep Izzy and my friendship intact. That was simply who she was.
I was still quite surprised at how well Claire had taken to this. Unlike Isabel, she’d had her entire life thrown into chaos because of me – irreparably altered by my curse. Despite all that, she stuck by me, and hadn’t judged me.
Eventually, Isabel composed herself enough to speak once again. “This is a lot to take in,” she said.
I sighed, unable to respond with words. She was right of course. It really was a lot to take in, for anyone.
“I take it you can’t change people back?” Izzy asked. I shook my head. Oh, how I wished that were possible. The amount of pain and suffering this had all caused was immeasurable. To be able to reverse everything, while it wouldn’t undo everything that had happened, at least my dad and brother would get to be themselves again. I doubted mum and dad would get back together again after all mum had done, but that was no longer important to me anymore. Seeing dad and James happy was all that mattered now.
It was at this time that dad re-entered the room, wearing a new set of pants. “Right, sorry about that,” he said, sitting down once again and grabbing his coffee. Now that it had cooled down a bit, he no longer needed to blow on it, and took quite a large gulp. “So, the cat’s out of the bag now, I suppose. I would have thought you’d have a bit more tact though Ben.”
“Sorry,” I replied sheepishly, staring nervously down at my hot milo.
“Um, I’ve actually known about you since we first met,” Claire interjected, raising her hand as if she were in a classroom.
That gave dad pause. He stared at her with a raised eyebrow, while I realised just how futile my attempts at hiding my secret from Claire really were. She’d known for that long? Of course she had. Still, I wanted to retroactively curl up into a ball and die. She’d known this whole time and I had no idea! She didn’t even mention it.
“I know I’m hardly feminine,” dad said, “but I find it hard to believe that you figured out I was actually a man, given…” He looked down and gestured at his chest.
“Right! Uhh, this is gonna sound pretty absurd, but when I look at people, I kinda just, know things about them. Things I really have no business knowing, to be honest. Anyway, one of those things is the names that a person goes by.”
“And dad’s name is fairly masculine,” I nodded.
“Well, that, and the fact that he goes by ‘dad’,” Claire said.
“But his name isn’t ‘dad’,” I rebutted.
“Right, but you call him that, and he responds to it. Ergo, it’s a name that he goes by.”
I supposed that made sense.
“That is a rather fascinating ability that you possess Claire, I must say,” dad commented, and my friend blushed. I was fairly surprised that dad hadn’t shown an ounce of scepticism. Her claim was rather farfetched, though perhaps his experience with the supernatural made him more open to what should be impossible. “What other information can you glean about a person? If you feel comfortable of course.”
“A few things,” she said, beginning to list off everything, staring up at the ceiling, and counting each item on her fingers as she did so. “Besides names, I also know a person’s age down to the minute, their height, their weight, their biggest interests, what kinds of foods and drinks they like, their orientation, their ge—”
Ding dong! The doorbell rang, interrupting Claire. I knew the only people it could have possibly been at this time were mum and James. Which meant I would need to be the one to answer, since dad was ‘at work’ right now.
“I’ll get it,” I announced, standing up. As I made my way over to the hallway and to the front door, Claire – curious as to who it could be ringing the doorbell – followed me. It felt as though she was trying to be subtle about it, but I was too perceptive. Well, that, and the fact that she was so big that it was difficult for her to be inconspicuous on a good day.
Opening the door revealed exactly whom I expected it to be. Both of them were in a capital ‘M’ Mood, though mum’s expression quickly shifted to one of intrigue at the sight of the tall girl looming behind me. James didn’t care, brushing past me as soon as he was able. No doubt he wanted out of his school uniform as soon as possible. We could exchange pleasantries later; I didn’t mind.
“Oh! You have a friend over,” mum said in surprise. “And a girl no less.” Ugh, were both my parents going to be like this? I wished they’d stop.
“Hi mum,” I replied, “Do you remember me mentioning that really tall guy?”
“Yes, of course, but what does he have to do with… oh.” Looked like she realised that I’d turned said friend into a girl, with a little help from the gesture I made in Claire’s direction.
“Hi Mrs. Ashford,” Claire said with a cautious wave. “I’m Claire.”
“It’s nice to meet you Claire,” mum replied with a smile, “It’s nice to see you embracing your newfound femininity.” Was that a slight against James?
“Thanks?” Claire said, somewhat unsure of how to respond.
“I wish my Chloe could do the same.” Ok, it was definitely a slight against James. Did she loathe her own child for not living up to her absurd expectations? By this point, I seriously wouldn’t put it past her.
“Are you done?” I interjected, disgruntled.
“There’s no need to get snippy with me, young man.”
“Goodbye mum.” I closed the door in her face. And then locked it. Not that that prevented her from opening the door; she still had a key. But that didn’t matter. I knew she wouldn’t try to force the door open. She probably didn’t even want to be here anyway.
I sighed as the latch clicked into place, and the sight of my mother was obscured by the wooden door. My patience with her was beginning to wear thin, but I had no idea what to do. I would need to continue dealing with her for the foreseeable future, and so would my younger brother, who had completely lost his patience with her long, long ago.
Part of me wanted to blow up in her face, but I knew that I never would. And not just because it would fail to accomplish anything. She’d probably double down if anything.
“Who’s Chloe?” Claire asked as we made our way back to the living room.
“I thought you just knew people’s names. ‘Chloe’ is what my mum calls my brother.”
“Oh. Well, if that’s the case, I didn’t know because James doesn’t recognise that as his name.”
“I see,” I replied, intrigued by this new information about Claire’s ability.
“Why does she call him that anyway?” she asked.
“Same reason you call yourself Claire.”
“Oh.”
We returned to the living room and we each sat back down. Dad and Izzy welcomed us back. I grabbed my now lukewarm milo and took a large gulp. Amazing how my mood could drop so dramatically after such a short conversation with my mother, and I wasn’t even in a good mood to begin with.
“So Ben, what did I tell you?” dad said.
I shook my head, not having a single clue about what he was referring to. “What did you tell me?”
“I told you, that your friends wouldn’t judge you for what happened, and that they’d stick by you.”
Did he? I couldn’t remember. “Oh yeah.”
“And what do you know, I was right.”
“Sure,” I grumbled barely audibly.
“I will say though,” he continued, directing his attention to the two girls sitting with us and gripping his coffee mug tightly with both hands, “thank you two for sticking by Ben through all this. This whole situation has been quite hard on our family, and especially Ben. So, it’s nice to see that his friends care about him despite everything.”
“It’s no big deal,” Claire smiled. “Who would abandon their friend over something so minor?”
Dad raised an eyebrow as he took a sip from his drink. “I would hardly call Ben changing your sex ‘minor’,” he replied.
“Ok, well, yeah, it’s a big change but I really don’t mind it actually,” Claire said, waving her hand about reassuringly.
“You don’t?”
She shook her head cheerfully. “Nope! I mean, it’s been a hell of an adjustment, don’t get me wrong. But like, I get to see a pretty girl when I look in the mirror now! Oh! And I don’t have to duck under doorways anymore! That’s a nice bonus. I really missed that.” She rested her chin on the palm of her hand and smiled lazily, staring off at nothing in particular.
This was… odd. Her reaction to having her sex changed was completely incongruent with the reactions of all the others I’d transformed. Everyone else took to the change poorly, expressing that fact in quite clear terms. Except Claire. Who asked others to call her by a new name. To refer to her by feminine pronouns. And who stated that she didn’t mind it. It sounded like she was actually enjoying it.
She couldn’t be like me, could she? Someone who secretly desired to be a girl for as long as they could remember, but kept it hidden from all others out of fear?
No. That was absurd. I was a freak. My best friend wasn’t. I shouldn’t have ever even entertained the thought. She wasn’t a freak like me. She was far too kind for that.
Claire was simply trying to convince herself and everyone else that everything was fine by insisting that nothing was wrong. She was merely trying to cope with the awful situation in which I’d placed her. She was struggling, like all the others, but her desire to seem well put together meant she couldn’t tell anyone. She was simply wearing a mask, like she said she always had been. She already had it rough from what she’d told me, and I’d made it all the harder for her. Because that’s what I was good at. Ruining lives.
I spotted movement at the peripherals of my vision, and perked up, noticing James had entered the room and was wondering what was going on. He’d changed out of his school uniform and into his boy clothes. I waved him over, and he tentatively approached, sitting down beside me on the lounge.
“Who are these people?” James asked curiously, staring at my two friends.
“These are my friends. You remember Isabel, don’t you?” He glanced over at the aforementioned girl and gave me a curt nod. “And that’s Jaxon, or well, was Jaxon,” I said, pointing at Claire.
James’ eyes widened in shock. “Ben, you didn’t!” he exclaimed.
I sighed and nodded slowly. “I did,” I replied solemnly.
“It was hardly Ben’s fault,” Claire interjected, “They fell over, and I helped pick them back up, but one of their gloves had loosened slightly and so… yeah…”
“Speaking of the gloves,” Isabel asked, “Shouldn’t you be wearing them around your brother, Ben? So that you don’t, you know…”
I shook my head. “That’s not necessary.”
She quickly realised what I was implying and let out a quiet “Oh”.
“Please don’t treat James any differently than you would any other boy,” I added.
“Of course!” Claire exclaimed, while Izzy nodded. I smiled, thankful that my friends could be so understanding.
With all the important things out of the way, the conversation quickly shifted to a topic that was much more light hearted. Which was especially good for James, who had undoubtedly had a terrible day at his school – the unfortunate norm.
Claire, after finishing her coffee, challenged my brother to a duel in a video game, which he accepted excitedly. It was fun watching the two of them go at it, though I could tell that Claire was very much going easy on James. But that didn’t matter; what mattered was that my brother was having fun. Claire was treating him exactly as she had in the past, as if the fact that I’d transformed him was irrelevant. True to her word, she saw him just like any other boy. It put a smile on both mine and dad’s faces.
Eventually, it started getting late. Dad offered to cook dinner for my two friends, but they both respectfully declined. I made sure to wave the both of them goodbye at the front door as they left.
However, before they departed, Izzy turned to Claire. “By the way, what are we going to do about Oscar and Rachel?” Izzy asked.
Claire rubbed at her chin while humming quietly. “I’ll think of something tonight.”
“Do you want to brainstorm with us?”
Claire waved her hand dismissively. “No, no, it’s fine. I’m sure I’ll think of something.”
Izzy didn’t seem convinced. “If you say so… I’m just worried you won’t approach this with the necessary care.”
Claire smirked at Izzy ever so cheekily. “Not to worry, I’ll give it just the right amount of Claire.” I rolled my eyes at that one.
“That’s what I’m worried about,” Izzy mumbled almost inaudibly. I wasn’t sure Claire heard her, which was probably intentional.
With that, we all gave our final goodbyes, and my two friends left for real.
