As should be expected of someone with his background, Donovan was completely unaware of Titanyana's developing feelings for him. In terms of understanding emotions he was still pretty far behind the curve, but that didn't really excuse the perceivable implications behind his words.
Ranking her as just behind Diana in importance to him? Telling her he would give up everything to keep her safe? Begging her to give him a chance?
Had Diana been present in the room she might have started fanning her face with her hand. She would understand what he really meant of course, he wasn't a man controlled by emotion or desire, but that didn't stop Titanyana from misinterpreting certain aspects. Donovan had, without trying, conquered the heart of the little Nekh princess. Had he been privy to this unseen development he might have done something, however with Titanyana crying next to him in her bed he couldn't help but think that this was the second time he was in this sort of situation.
His first thought upon realizing Titanyana was no longer going to run from him was a little inappropriate, 'Women cry a lot.' It wasn't necessarily an admonishment from his point of view, he was envious that they actually had something to cry about, but he realized that it would definitely make him seem . . . uncouth? . . . if he ever said that out loud.
Immediately after that, he began to grow a little bit more uncomfortable. He wasn't really worried about his internal monologue being exposed to the world, he was good at keeping his mouth shut. Donovan was more concerned with the realization that he should probably be doing something right now. Doctor Helmsguard had always espoused the virtues of chivalry when it came to treating women, especially when they weren't in a good mood.
Donovan's only problem was that he didn't quite know what to do in this situation.
If it was Diana who was crying, he would move in closer to hug her, but would that really be appropriate for Titanyana? Diana was his lover, his spouse, that level of intimacy was not just acceptable but expected. Could the same be said of Titanyana? The short answer was no, but did that mean that he couldn't move in for a hug?
Hugs weren't exactly sexual in and of themselves, and least not from his perspective. His perspective was irrelevant here, what would Titanyana think of the hug? Did the Nekh view hugs as part of a mating ritual or courtship? Would he end up creating a misunderstanding? Titanyana was basically naked right now, so if Titanyana ended up inviting him into bed over this he would have a real problem on his hands.
He didn't think she would, but he couldn't discount the possibility she might do something she normally would never under extreme emotional distress. Titanyana was not in a good place right now, and Donovan would never forgive himself if he ended up hurting her because he accidentally manipulated her into thinking something that wasn't true, that being that he was in love with her. Make no mistake, Donovan saw her as an incredibly attractive woman both in body and mind, but he wasn't committed to her. Diana was his focus, and he wouldn't be able to give Titanyana the affection and attention she desired should she ever pursue him as a man.
All that said and done, Donovan couldn't do nothing. Titanyana was crying, clearly wounded deep inside, and the Doctor's teachings would not permit him to remain idle.
Sighing, Donovan stood up and walked around to the other side of the bed. He took a seat much closer to Titanyana, right next to her so that he could turn and face her. Cautiously, he extended a hand and placed it on top of her head.
It was a hunch, more instinct than anything, but he believed that Titanyana would react in the same way as Mercedes to the stimulation in that region. She might not have had the same fur, but she had the ears of a cat, so surely that meant something. The ears were still off limits for now, he knew they were sensitive, but he didn't yet understand how sensitive. In the interests of not making more problems for himself, rubbing the top of her head would have to suffice.
"It's okay, it's oookaaaay."
- - - - -
Titanyana hardly noticed Donovan's hand on her head. She felt it, but she didn't really register it. There were more pressing concerns for her at the moment, namely trying to stop the tears from flowing. It was soothing though, to have the man she recognized as the one she loved giving her affection like this. As minor a display as it was, it was still a display, and she was subconsciously hanging on to that feeling as hard as she could.
It was enough to make her cry, or at least it would be if she wasn't already crying.
"I'm sorry!" In between her sobs, Titanyana felt the need to apologize. Not just because she was crying but because of the trouble she had caused him.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, Titanyana. You haven't done anything wrong." She felt Donovan shift his arm as he got an angle to look into her eyes. "Even if you have, I'll handle it."
Titanyana's puffy eyes locked with his as she brought a hand up to wipe the tears away. Weakly, she smiled, more tears flowing as she did so.
"I'm sorry. . ." She didn't even mean to say it, her apology for apologizing just came naturally.
She could see him roll his eyes. He wasn't annoyed, if anything the smirk on his face said he was amused. Slowly, carefully, he nudged her head closer to his body. The rest of her body followed her head, tilting until she was leaning on him. Satisfied she wasn't at risk of falling over, he then switched to rubbing her head with his far hand, giving her his arm to cry on.
"I'm sorry. . ." Now she was apologizing for getting his shirt wet.
"If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you. Just get it out of your system." Donovan wasn't speaking with his normal tone of voice. He wasn't quite as serious, nor was he as loud. It was a soft coo, one she hadn't heard from him before. For Titanyana, it was incredibly soothing. Her sensitive ears were often assaulted by sharper sounds, but there were none of those in his words.
Compared to how he usually spoke, it was a stark contrast. A contrast extreme enough to give the impression the voice was for her. A voice tailored just to please her, to make her comfortable, to calm her down. She knew the only reason she was hearing it was out of concern, this voice being something Diana probably heard quite often in the late hours of the night, but she could dream.
Pinning her sheets underneath her armpits to cover herself, she hugged the offered arm close to her body. He might have just bathed, but this smell was definitely 'Donovan'. Even if she didn't have the olfactory relief, she would definitely recognize this arm as Donovan's. This was his sword arm, the part of his body she interacted with the most.
She was always keeping an eye on it, even when covered by clothing, watching to make sure he was in the correct form. Titanyana had attacked it, and she had defended against it, hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of times. She was certain she knew everything about it, but now she found she was wrong. One aspect she failed to grasp was how it felt, far softer than it appeared. His muscles, while toned, formed a nice firm cushion when they weren't tensed, perfect for her to squeeze tightly. The other aspect was how dense he was.
She had understood on some level that he was heavier than her, stronger than her, but she didn't quite realize how much of a difference there was. It was no wonder he could outlast everybody in a contest of endurance, his body was built for it. Durability? Could the average build really compare to this? Titanyana could only imagine what this arm would feel like when it embraced her, if it embraced her.
For now though, she was content to sit here and squeeze it tight to her core and mark it with her tears.
- - - - -
Minutes passed as Titanyana let loose on his shoulder. Minutes Donovan was content to wait for. He couldn't exactly excuse being stuck here for the entire night, he would need to be present in some capacity, but he didn't think Titanyana would cry for that long. She might be hurting, bearing an incredible amount of emotional baggage, but Donovan had faith in her strength. Titanyana would pull through, she had lasted this long hadn't she?
"Are you ready to talk now?" Donovan had noticed a considerable increase in the time between sobs, leading him to believe that now was a good time to start solving the problem.
Titanyana sniffled once more before wiping her eyes. "Mhm."
"Alright, I'll let you talk. Tell me everything that has been troubling you. Whether it's about your family or dinner last night. I will listen to you and offer you support, even if I am part of the problem." Donovan finally succumbed to curiosity and began to scratch beneath her ear. The sudden release of tension in her body seemed to suggest it was probably okay to do. "Especially if I'm part of the problem."
". . . where should I start?"
"How about you start with when you left home and work forward from there?" It was arbitrary, but Donovan was a little curious about what she got up to before meeting him.
". . . I left home on a ship that could barely fly, an old relic that had been rotting with no way to maintain it. It wouldn't survive the trip to the Sanctum, so we went to one of our neighbor's and payed a merchant to take me the rest of the way while my kin returned home. I was forced to stay in the cargo hold with my stuff, only allowed to eat the food I brought with me."
Donovan could see this as a point of pain for her. Even if she wasn't a noble, those sorts of conditions were unlikely to be very comfortable, and considering how poor she was . . . Donovan could imagine that her food wasn't the best either.
"Even when I got here, nobody would believe I was a noble here to attend the academy. I didn't have a servant, I didn't have a dress, and I didn't have much money. It was only because the Sanctum doesn't judge based on status that I was allowed to make an attempt to be recruited for an army. There were show matches, you weren't here to see them, where people associated with each army would scout for prospective talents. I thought I was doing pretty well for myself the first few, they were fast matches over in only a few seconds, but then that happened."
"The guy who inappropriately touched you?"
"Mhm. The one I punched." She squeezed his arm at this. "After word got out and my name began to be associated with the punch, nobody would even look at me. I was still alone by the time most spots had been filled and people stopped looking. I spent about a month after that begging to be let in, but nobody was interested."
Titanyana readjusted herself, swinging her pale legs out from underneath the covers and letting them swing off the side of the bed. It made Donovan a little uncomfortable considering she didn't have any pants on, but he very quickly discovered that was about to be the least of his worries. Titanyana had done this so the she could get her body closer to him, clinging to his arm. Although he wasn't making direct skin to skin contact, he was definitely reminded of how smooth she was, and how soft.
"I was actually getting ready to leave when the Captain came to see me. I was incredulous at first, I didn't think that he was actually from the Sanctum, but I accepted his offer anyways. I didn't really have any other options at that point." Her ears flicked a little at that time, leaving Donovan to wonder if he was the one who caused it. "I was lucky, and that scares me. Everything, my people and my future, were saved by a mere stroke of luck, and I've lived hoping and praying I don't screw it up."
"Why does that scare you? Most people I know would love to be lucky."
"Maybe, but to me it meant that everything I had worked to save was salvaged by a coincidence, not through my effort. If salvation could be given so quickly, then it could be taken away just as fast." Titanyana pushed harder into his side. "I've been afraid of that."
"You know we wouldn't do that to you."
"I didn't believe you until now. Why would I? I can barely understand the two of you as is, and you could have abandoned me if I didn't live up to your expectations."
"But you surpassed my expectations?" Donovan didn't even consider she might have thought she wasn't enough. For a top level combatant, it sure was strange that she lacked so much confidence.
"I wasn't sure, not when you pinned me on the ground." Donovan's cheeks flashed red, he knew which event she was talking about but it still came across as vaguely sexual in that quiet tone - he was really trying not to get aroused right now. "That was another problem, you took away the only thing that gave me the illusion of safety, my confidence in split."
"That was what set you off?"
"Please don't laugh. . ."
"I would never, it's just . . . that was a simple hold. I didn't think it would be so devastating."
"Mm, well I'm over it now. I . . . would appreciate it if you avoided that in the future."
"Of course!"
"Thank you." Titanyana started to rub her head on his shoulder, further developing the uncomfortable feeling rising in Donovan's throat. It was almost like she was marking him. "After that, the worst thing to happen to me was the tournament."
"A run-in with death will do that."
"M-mhm. I'm actually over the almost dying part, I'm far more worried about how y-you k-" She choked on her words, evidently she was not sure she should say this. "Y-you k-kissed me. . ." Titanyana seemed to shrink as he looked up into his eyes, hiding from him behind his own shoulder.
"Y-you know I was doing that to save you, r-right?" Someone had definitely told her about the CPR, though they clearly didn't know what he was actually doing. "Right?"
Titanyana buried her head into his arm as she continued. "A-and then, and then, y-you saw me . . . n-naked." She was starting to cry again.
Donovan inhaled sharply, half because she finally revealed to him she knew that, half because the image of her body came to mind and he needed to stop something from happening.
"Aaaah, uh, I'm sorry, but the Great Csillacra needed me to strip you sooo . . . I'm sorry?" Despite his apology, she was still crying. Defeated by his previous promises, he sighed. "Titanyana, I'm sorry, I really am. Is there anything I need to do for you to forgive me?"
- - - - -
The moment Donovan said that, a single request manifested in her mind.
'Take responsibility and marry me.'
Fortunately or unfortunately, she managed to keep it from reaching her mouth. She loved him, that much was true, but she could not live with herself if she forced Donovan to live a life with her because of this. Titanyana knew that if she really wanted to be happy, she would have to make Donovan want to be with her, she needed Donovan to love her back. She was confident in saying his opinion of her was high, but love? Love was still a long ways off for him.
'Take me.'
That was the thought that replaced the first, less committal in nature but far more aggressive. That was essentially asking him to finish the job and mark her, which she knew was also way too far. His guaranteed refusal aside, what would Diana think? She liked Diana, and wanted to be friends with her, but having a child with her husband before she got the chance to? Her conscious wouldn't allow it.
'Let me see you naked.'
Also too far, though she had a suspicion he might agree to this one.
'Kiss me.'
While he would probably agree to this one, Titanyana was more embarrassed to ask for this than to be made into a woman. Something about it just made her heart flutter, and she knew that her feelings towards him would be revealed. Preferably, she would like to keep those feelings a secret until she got around to sorting them out. This was her first time even considering the prospect of love, so she needed to really think about what she should be doing with it.
'Hug me.'
This . . . this felt right. She would get what she wanted from him, and he probably wouldn't be suspicious about it. It was just a hug right? Just a thing people did to comfort each other? Right?
"C-can you give me a hug?"
Titanyana's heart was racing, her temperature rising as she awaited a response. Her fear that he would notice those things only made them worse, she really wasn't ready for love.
- - - - -
Donovan took a second to calm himself before responding to her. She wanted a hug, but she was, well . . . not really covered any more. When she backed up a bit and let go of his arm, she had also released the sheet from underneath her arms. Said sheet dropped to reveal a light green bra, probably something Diana had picked out for her.
Donovan couldn't really say he had committed her form to memory before, in fact he had tried really hard to purge it from his mind for her sake, he could definitely tell that it wasn't quite the same as before. The Great Csillacra had definitely made changes, but he thought those changes were restricted to her capacity for split. He really wouldn't have thought that, well there really wasn't much of a bush to beat around.
Even with the bra in the way he could tell, the Great Csillacra had increased the size of her breasts.
From what he could see her waist was ever so slightly slimmer too, and while he couldn't really say as her lower body was still covered, there was a damn good chance it had increased the width of her hips as well. How hadn't he noticed? Well, ever since Donovan was a child he was told to avoid looking at woman's asses. Naturally he extended that to mean he just shouldn't make a habit of looking down.
It went without saying that he was far too distracted with that to even consider her elevated heart rate and temperature, his own heart rate and temperature were going out of control.
"If that's what you want."
- - - - -
Slowly, gently, Titanyana felt Donovan's arms wrap around her, the warmth gradually enveloping her as she discretely pushed herself further into his chest. Admittedly, the hug lacked the passion she desired deep down, but for now it would suffice. It was something to work for, and for the moment she would let herself bask in him. Here she was happy, here she was safe.
Naturally she wanted to stay here for a while, and Donovan didn't really have the courage to break from it. Eventually, he grew a little uncomfortable, and he began to scratch her back.
Titanyana wasn't opposed to this, it felt good, but she did get a little nervous when his hand started to drift downwards and. . .
'!!!'
. . . he began to scratch the area on her back just above her tail. Even as she tried to control herself, she found her back slowly arching and her breathing becoming labored. She wasn't aware of it, but her tail was swaying side to side in a manner that suggested she was feeling very good. It was fortunate for her that Donovan had his eyes closed, or else he might have remembered just what that spot meant to a Nekh.
Titanyana was in a state of euphoria though, she did not feel violated in the slightest. If anything this was giving her the motivation needed to take it further should she be given the opportunity, her body relaxing to prepare for it despite her mental protests. She really didn't want to leave, in fact she wanted to be closer. She wanted to bathe in his scent, his breath, his warmth, and she slowly began to 'climb' up his body to achieve her desire. By the end of it, her head was nestled in his neck.
She was breathing heavy, instinctually trying to inhale as much of his scent as she could, each breath pressing her breasts into his chest. Had she been coherent, she would have questioned why he was still scratching that spot. It should have been exceedingly obvious at a glance that something was off with the way she was acting, but she could never have known that Donovan's only experience with long hugs was with Diana. Diana got way more 'into it' than this when she was given the chance.
It was only once Titanyana nipped at his neck in arousal did Donovan put a thought into what he was doing. He put together her breathing and his hand placement, and immediately let go of her.
"Oh! Uh, shit, I'm sorry." Titanyana's body slipped down as the tension left her body, her head eventually ending up in his lap.
'Just a little bit more, just a little bit more and I wouldn't have been able to stop myself.'
That was went through her head at that moment. Just a few more seconds of that and she absolutely would have tried to push him down. How far she could have gotten was a question which would never be answered, but she probably wouldn't have gotten far. In that state of mind there was no way she would be able to use split.
cakeonfrosting I'm gonna be honest gamers, I feel positively filthy after writing this. Absolutely nasty. Like, I think I just need to give the incinerator a run-through to cleanse me. This honestly felt more lewd than if I had just had them go at it, like, penetration and everything, and I'm not sure I want to change it at this point. I definitely went overboard too, definitely, a good 1000 words more than the average chapter. If y'all think I should label this one NSFW, I will. I'm not exactly well versed in what crosses that line on Scribble Hub.
I think she needed this though, her moment alone with him to get her hooked.
As should be expected of someone with his background, Donovan was completely unaware of Titanyana's developing feelings for him. In terms of understanding emotions he was still pretty far behind the curve, but that didn't really excuse the perceivable implications behind his words.
Ranking her as just behind Diana in importance to him? Telling her he would give up everything to keep her safe? Begging her to give him a chance?
Had Diana been present in the room she might have started fanning her face with her hand. She would understand what he really meant of course, he wasn't a man controlled by emotion or desire, but that didn't stop Titanyana from misinterpreting certain aspects. Donovan had, without trying, conquered the heart of the little Nekh princess. Had he been privy to this unseen development he might have done something, however with Titanyana crying next to him in her bed he couldn't help but think that this was the second time he was in this sort of situation.
His first thought upon realizing Titanyana was no longer going to run from him was a little inappropriate, 'Women cry a lot.' It wasn't necessarily an admonishment from his point of view, he was envious that they actually had something to cry about, but he realized that it would definitely make him seem . . . uncouth? . . . if he ever said that out loud.
Immediately after that, he began to grow a little bit more uncomfortable. He wasn't really worried about his internal monologue being exposed to the world, he was good at keeping his mouth shut. Donovan was more concerned with the realization that he should probably be doing something right now. Doctor Helmsguard had always espoused the virtues of chivalry when it came to treating women, especially when they weren't in a good mood.
Donovan's only problem was that he didn't quite know what to do in this situation.
If it was Diana who was crying, he would move in closer to hug her, but would that really be appropriate for Titanyana? Diana was his lover, his spouse, that level of intimacy was not just acceptable but expected. Could the same be said of Titanyana? The short answer was no, but did that mean that he couldn't move in for a hug?
Hugs weren't exactly sexual in and of themselves, and least not from his perspective. His perspective was irrelevant here, what would Titanyana think of the hug? Did the Nekh view hugs as part of a mating ritual or courtship? Would he end up creating a misunderstanding? Titanyana was basically naked right now, so if Titanyana ended up inviting him into bed over this he would have a real problem on his hands.
He didn't think she would, but he couldn't discount the possibility she might do something she normally would never under extreme emotional distress. Titanyana was not in a good place right now, and Donovan would never forgive himself if he ended up hurting her because he accidentally manipulated her into thinking something that wasn't true, that being that he was in love with her. Make no mistake, Donovan saw her as an incredibly attractive woman both in body and mind, but he wasn't committed to her. Diana was his focus, and he wouldn't be able to give Titanyana the affection and attention she desired should she ever pursue him as a man.
All that said and done, Donovan couldn't do nothing. Titanyana was crying, clearly wounded deep inside, and the Doctor's teachings would not permit him to remain idle.
Sighing, Donovan stood up and walked around to the other side of the bed. He took a seat much closer to Titanyana, right next to her so that he could turn and face her. Cautiously, he extended a hand and placed it on top of her head.
It was a hunch, more instinct than anything, but he believed that Titanyana would react in the same way as Mercedes to the stimulation in that region. She might not have had the same fur, but she had the ears of a cat, so surely that meant something. The ears were still off limits for now, he knew they were sensitive, but he didn't yet understand how sensitive. In the interests of not making more problems for himself, rubbing the top of her head would have to suffice.
"It's okay, it's oookaaaay."
- - - - -
Titanyana hardly noticed Donovan's hand on her head. She felt it, but she didn't really register it. There were more pressing concerns for her at the moment, namely trying to stop the tears from flowing. It was soothing though, to have the man she recognized as the one she loved giving her affection like this. As minor a display as it was, it was still a display, and she was subconsciously hanging on to that feeling as hard as she could.
It was enough to make her cry, or at least it would be if she wasn't already crying.
"I'm sorry!" In between her sobs, Titanyana felt the need to apologize. Not just because she was crying but because of the trouble she had caused him.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, Titanyana. You haven't done anything wrong." She felt Donovan shift his arm as he got an angle to look into her eyes. "Even if you have, I'll handle it."
Titanyana's puffy eyes locked with his as she brought a hand up to wipe the tears away. Weakly, she smiled, more tears flowing as she did so.
"I'm sorry. . ." She didn't even mean to say it, her apology for apologizing just came naturally.
She could see him roll his eyes. He wasn't annoyed, if anything the smirk on his face said he was amused. Slowly, carefully, he nudged her head closer to his body. The rest of her body followed her head, tilting until she was leaning on him. Satisfied she wasn't at risk of falling over, he then switched to rubbing her head with his far hand, giving her his arm to cry on.
"I'm sorry. . ." Now she was apologizing for getting his shirt wet.
"If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for you. Just get it out of your system." Donovan wasn't speaking with his normal tone of voice. He wasn't quite as serious, nor was he as loud. It was a soft coo, one she hadn't heard from him before. For Titanyana, it was incredibly soothing. Her sensitive ears were often assaulted by sharper sounds, but there were none of those in his words.
Compared to how he usually spoke, it was a stark contrast. A contrast extreme enough to give the impression the voice was for her. A voice tailored just to please her, to make her comfortable, to calm her down. She knew the only reason she was hearing it was out of concern, this voice being something Diana probably heard quite often in the late hours of the night, but she could dream.
Pinning her sheets underneath her armpits to cover herself, she hugged the offered arm close to her body. He might have just bathed, but this smell was definitely 'Donovan'. Even if she didn't have the olfactory relief, she would definitely recognize this arm as Donovan's. This was his sword arm, the part of his body she interacted with the most.
She was always keeping an eye on it, even when covered by clothing, watching to make sure he was in the correct form. Titanyana had attacked it, and she had defended against it, hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of times. She was certain she knew everything about it, but now she found she was wrong. One aspect she failed to grasp was how it felt, far softer than it appeared. His muscles, while toned, formed a nice firm cushion when they weren't tensed, perfect for her to squeeze tightly. The other aspect was how dense he was.
She had understood on some level that he was heavier than her, stronger than her, but she didn't quite realize how much of a difference there was. It was no wonder he could outlast everybody in a contest of endurance, his body was built for it. Durability? Could the average build really compare to this? Titanyana could only imagine what this arm would feel like when it embraced her, if it embraced her.
For now though, she was content to sit here and squeeze it tight to her core and mark it with her tears.
- - - - -
Minutes passed as Titanyana let loose on his shoulder. Minutes Donovan was content to wait for. He couldn't exactly excuse being stuck here for the entire night, he would need to be present in some capacity, but he didn't think Titanyana would cry for that long. She might be hurting, bearing an incredible amount of emotional baggage, but Donovan had faith in her strength. Titanyana would pull through, she had lasted this long hadn't she?
"Are you ready to talk now?" Donovan had noticed a considerable increase in the time between sobs, leading him to believe that now was a good time to start solving the problem.
Titanyana sniffled once more before wiping her eyes. "Mhm."
"Alright, I'll let you talk. Tell me everything that has been troubling you. Whether it's about your family or dinner last night. I will listen to you and offer you support, even if I am part of the problem." Donovan finally succumbed to curiosity and began to scratch beneath her ear. The sudden release of tension in her body seemed to suggest it was probably okay to do. "Especially if I'm part of the problem."
". . . where should I start?"
"How about you start with when you left home and work forward from there?" It was arbitrary, but Donovan was a little curious about what she got up to before meeting him.
". . . I left home on a ship that could barely fly, an old relic that had been rotting with no way to maintain it. It wouldn't survive the trip to the Sanctum, so we went to one of our neighbor's and payed a merchant to take me the rest of the way while my kin returned home. I was forced to stay in the cargo hold with my stuff, only allowed to eat the food I brought with me."
Donovan could see this as a point of pain for her. Even if she wasn't a noble, those sorts of conditions were unlikely to be very comfortable, and considering how poor she was . . . Donovan could imagine that her food wasn't the best either.
"Even when I got here, nobody would believe I was a noble here to attend the academy. I didn't have a servant, I didn't have a dress, and I didn't have much money. It was only because the Sanctum doesn't judge based on status that I was allowed to make an attempt to be recruited for an army. There were show matches, you weren't here to see them, where people associated with each army would scout for prospective talents. I thought I was doing pretty well for myself the first few, they were fast matches over in only a few seconds, but then that happened."
"The guy who inappropriately touched you?"
"Mhm. The one I punched." She squeezed his arm at this. "After word got out and my name began to be associated with the punch, nobody would even look at me. I was still alone by the time most spots had been filled and people stopped looking. I spent about a month after that begging to be let in, but nobody was interested."
Titanyana readjusted herself, swinging her pale legs out from underneath the covers and letting them swing off the side of the bed. It made Donovan a little uncomfortable considering she didn't have any pants on, but he very quickly discovered that was about to be the least of his worries. Titanyana had done this so the she could get her body closer to him, clinging to his arm. Although he wasn't making direct skin to skin contact, he was definitely reminded of how smooth she was, and how soft.
"I was actually getting ready to leave when the Captain came to see me. I was incredulous at first, I didn't think that he was actually from the Sanctum, but I accepted his offer anyways. I didn't really have any other options at that point." Her ears flicked a little at that time, leaving Donovan to wonder if he was the one who caused it. "I was lucky, and that scares me. Everything, my people and my future, were saved by a mere stroke of luck, and I've lived hoping and praying I don't screw it up."
"Why does that scare you? Most people I know would love to be lucky."
"Maybe, but to me it meant that everything I had worked to save was salvaged by a coincidence, not through my effort. If salvation could be given so quickly, then it could be taken away just as fast." Titanyana pushed harder into his side. "I've been afraid of that."
"You know we wouldn't do that to you."
"I didn't believe you until now. Why would I? I can barely understand the two of you as is, and you could have abandoned me if I didn't live up to your expectations."
"But you surpassed my expectations?" Donovan didn't even consider she might have thought she wasn't enough. For a top level combatant, it sure was strange that she lacked so much confidence.
"I wasn't sure, not when you pinned me on the ground." Donovan's cheeks flashed red, he knew which event she was talking about but it still came across as vaguely sexual in that quiet tone - he was really trying not to get aroused right now. "That was another problem, you took away the only thing that gave me the illusion of safety, my confidence in split."
"That was what set you off?"
"Please don't laugh. . ."
"I would never, it's just . . . that was a simple hold. I didn't think it would be so devastating."
"Mm, well I'm over it now. I . . . would appreciate it if you avoided that in the future."
"Of course!"
"Thank you." Titanyana started to rub her head on his shoulder, further developing the uncomfortable feeling rising in Donovan's throat. It was almost like she was marking him. "After that, the worst thing to happen to me was the tournament."
"A run-in with death will do that."
"M-mhm. I'm actually over the almost dying part, I'm far more worried about how y-you k-" She choked on her words, evidently she was not sure she should say this. "Y-you k-kissed me. . ." Titanyana seemed to shrink as he looked up into his eyes, hiding from him behind his own shoulder.
"Y-you know I was doing that to save you, r-right?" Someone had definitely told her about the CPR, though they clearly didn't know what he was actually doing. "Right?"
Titanyana buried her head into his arm as she continued. "A-and then, and then, y-you saw me . . . n-naked." She was starting to cry again.
Donovan inhaled sharply, half because she finally revealed to him she knew that, half because the image of her body came to mind and he needed to stop something from happening.
"Aaaah, uh, I'm sorry, but the Great Csillacra needed me to strip you sooo . . . I'm sorry?" Despite his apology, she was still crying. Defeated by his previous promises, he sighed. "Titanyana, I'm sorry, I really am. Is there anything I need to do for you to forgive me?"
- - - - -
The moment Donovan said that, a single request manifested in her mind.
'Take responsibility and marry me.'
Fortunately or unfortunately, she managed to keep it from reaching her mouth. She loved him, that much was true, but she could not live with herself if she forced Donovan to live a life with her because of this. Titanyana knew that if she really wanted to be happy, she would have to make Donovan want to be with her, she needed Donovan to love her back. She was confident in saying his opinion of her was high, but love? Love was still a long ways off for him.
'Take me.'
That was the thought that replaced the first, less committal in nature but far more aggressive. That was essentially asking him to finish the job and mark her, which she knew was also way too far. His guaranteed refusal aside, what would Diana think? She liked Diana, and wanted to be friends with her, but having a child with her husband before she got the chance to? Her conscious wouldn't allow it.
'Let me see you naked.'
Also too far, though she had a suspicion he might agree to this one.
'Kiss me.'
While he would probably agree to this one, Titanyana was more embarrassed to ask for this than to be made into a woman. Something about it just made her heart flutter, and she knew that her feelings towards him would be revealed. Preferably, she would like to keep those feelings a secret until she got around to sorting them out. This was her first time even considering the prospect of love, so she needed to really think about what she should be doing with it.
'Hug me.'
This . . . this felt right. She would get what she wanted from him, and he probably wouldn't be suspicious about it. It was just a hug right? Just a thing people did to comfort each other? Right?
"C-can you give me a hug?"
Titanyana's heart was racing, her temperature rising as she awaited a response. Her fear that he would notice those things only made them worse, she really wasn't ready for love.
- - - - -
Donovan took a second to calm himself before responding to her. She wanted a hug, but she was, well . . . not really covered any more. When she backed up a bit and let go of his arm, she had also released the sheet from underneath her arms. Said sheet dropped to reveal a light green bra, probably something Diana had picked out for her.
Donovan couldn't really say he had committed her form to memory before, in fact he had tried really hard to purge it from his mind for her sake, he could definitely tell that it wasn't quite the same as before. The Great Csillacra had definitely made changes, but he thought those changes were restricted to her capacity for split. He really wouldn't have thought that, well there really wasn't much of a bush to beat around.
Even with the bra in the way he could tell, the Great Csillacra had increased the size of her breasts.
From what he could see her waist was ever so slightly slimmer too, and while he couldn't really say as her lower body was still covered, there was a damn good chance it had increased the width of her hips as well. How hadn't he noticed? Well, ever since Donovan was a child he was told to avoid looking at woman's asses. Naturally he extended that to mean he just shouldn't make a habit of looking down.
It went without saying that he was far too distracted with that to even consider her elevated heart rate and temperature, his own heart rate and temperature were going out of control.
"If that's what you want."
- - - - -
Slowly, gently, Titanyana felt Donovan's arms wrap around her, the warmth gradually enveloping her as she discretely pushed herself further into his chest. Admittedly, the hug lacked the passion she desired deep down, but for now it would suffice. It was something to work for, and for the moment she would let herself bask in him. Here she was happy, here she was safe.
Naturally she wanted to stay here for a while, and Donovan didn't really have the courage to break from it. Eventually, he grew a little uncomfortable, and he began to scratch her back.
Titanyana wasn't opposed to this, it felt good, but she did get a little nervous when his hand started to drift downwards and. . .
'!!!'
. . . he began to scratch the area on her back just above her tail. Even as she tried to control herself, she found her back slowly arching and her breathing becoming labored. She wasn't aware of it, but her tail was swaying side to side in a manner that suggested she was feeling very good. It was fortunate for her that Donovan had his eyes closed, or else he might have remembered just what that spot meant to a Nekh.
Titanyana was in a state of euphoria though, she did not feel violated in the slightest. If anything this was giving her the motivation needed to take it further should she be given the opportunity, her body relaxing to prepare for it despite her mental protests. She really didn't want to leave, in fact she wanted to be closer. She wanted to bathe in his scent, his breath, his warmth, and she slowly began to 'climb' up his body to achieve her desire. By the end of it, her head was nestled in his neck.
She was breathing heavy, instinctually trying to inhale as much of his scent as she could, each breath pressing her breasts into his chest. Had she been coherent, she would have questioned why he was still scratching that spot. It should have been exceedingly obvious at a glance that something was off with the way she was acting, but she could never have known that Donovan's only experience with long hugs was with Diana. Diana got way more 'into it' than this when she was given the chance.
It was only once Titanyana nipped at his neck in arousal did Donovan put a thought into what he was doing. He put together her breathing and his hand placement, and immediately let go of her.
"Oh! Uh, shit, I'm sorry." Titanyana's body slipped down as the tension left her body, her head eventually ending up in his lap.
'Just a little bit more, just a little bit more and I wouldn't have been able to stop myself.'
That was went through her head at that moment. Just a few more seconds of that and she absolutely would have tried to push him down. How far she could have gotten was a question which would never be answered, but she probably wouldn't have gotten far. In that state of mind there was no way she would be able to use split.
cakeonfrosting I'm gonna be honest gamers, I feel positively filthy after writing this. Absolutely nasty. Like, I think I just need to give the incinerator a run-through to cleanse me. This honestly felt more lewd than if I had just had them go at it, like, penetration and everything, and I'm not sure I want to change it at this point. I definitely went overboard too, definitely, a good 1000 words more than the average chapter. If y'all think I should label this one NSFW, I will. I'm not exactly well versed in what crosses that line on Scribble Hub.
I think she needed this though, her moment alone with him to get her hooked.
