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Dead Star Dockyards - Chapter 177

Published at 30th of March 2023 11:38:05 AM


Chapter 177

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"Honey, the first thing I am going to tell you is that you are worth more than you think." Diana started her little counseling session by assuring her of her value. "If you think that they would spend a decade deliberating over who to choose, make a decision, and then rescind that decision without incredibly good reason you would be sorely mistaken. Even if someone better was found, I don't think they would make changes at this point."

"Huh? W-what makes you say that?"

"Zhoie, I know you're struggling to impress everybody, but you need to understand you already stand head and shoulders above your competition." Diana scooted her chair closer. Inelegant, but she wanted a closer proximity so she could keep the conversation quieter. "You've been comparing yourself to Trebar, right?"

Zhoie looked out towards the courtyard before pouting a little. "Yes."

"And that is your mistake." Diana waggled a finger. "Trebar is not your competition here sweetie, he is the reward. Well, maybe it's a bit rude to call him a prize, but considering how you think it is a race of sorts then I don't think it's inappropriate. Whatever the case, you need to keep in mind that whatever level he is at is irrelevant."

"Huh?" Zhoie was a little bit shocked by this explanation.

"Look, Zhoie, it wouldn't matter if his ability was lower, it wouldn't matter if it was higher, he isn't going to marry himself. Your opponents are the other women, and I have reason to believe you are the best of the bunch." Diana crossed her legs and reclined until her back was on the rest. "To the best of my knowledge there are only three women, three, who are near his age and at your level. You are one of them, the others are Nemo and Titanyana. Neither of them are interested in a relationship with Trebar."

"But you haven't seen the others!"

"I don't need to. You are the best of them, aren't you? You were chosen, you." Diana poked a finger at Zhoie's chest. "Obviously I'm not saying you shouldn't be putting in effort to improve yourself, making yourself better will only ever yield good results, but the stress is really making you suffer."

"I'm not stressed!"

"You absolutely are, and if you stay that way it's going to start damaging your body. It might even hurt your prospects for children."

Zhoie wanted to clap back after that, but that was a danger she could not ignore. Forced to come to terms and admit the fact she was stressing out, she began to calm down. There was no point in exacerbating the problem while trying to fix it.

"I still don't believe you."

Diana rolled her eyes. Zhoie seemed to have developed something of an extreme inferiority complex when it came to Trebar, a deeply entrenched complex at that. She could get it out of her with time, but for now Zhoie was in desperate need of a shock. She needed something to think about that would bring her complex into question in her own mind. 

"Would Trebar be defending your name like this if he didn't think you would be his wife in the end?" Diana had to think for a little bit to come up with this one, but she felt it was a good one. It wasn't exactly hard evidence, but it was a pretty strong hypothetical argument that could be seen as a reasonable assumption. It had flaws, but they shouldn't be anything Diana couldn't handle, primarily because Diana herself was confident Trebar wanted to be with her.

"He has to though."

"Why? Could he not just force Cholst to apologize and be done with it?"

"It's his duty."

"If you are referring to his duties towards the Theocracy, then I would think that ensuring this party went smoothly and without incident would be a higher priority." Diana understood that she and Donovan were a top priority for their isolationist friends. If their success had to be pitted against the honor of Trebar's fiancé, she knew that their success would be prioritized every time. It was sad to think about, but Zhoie's honor just wouldn't matter after she left the Sanctum, chances were she would never visit the outside galaxy again.

"He wasn't thinking that hard then."

"Trebar? I imagine he was thinking incredibly hard when he challenged Cholst to a duel. My guess is that he was contemplating whether or not Donovan and I would permit such an event to occur."

"But he was mad at me!"

"Of course he would be mad that you put him in that situation! Donovan would be mad at me too!" Diana wanted to add 'and he is infatuated with me' to the end of her sentence, but that would definitely come off as conceited. "Me and Donovan get into arguments more often than I'd like to admit. Hell, I've been the cause of a fair deal of stress for him at times. That doesn't mean he doesn't love me!"

Diana really wished Zhoie had Nekh ears right now, it was much easier to read someone's emotions when they were trying to hide them.

". . . do you really think he likes me?"

"I'm certain of it."

Zhoie brought her hands down into her lap and started to massage her right index finger. 

"He doesn't act like it."

"How do you mean?"

"He, he never seems to give me attention, at least not like how Donovan gives you affection." Zhoie bit her lip, perhaps a sign she was holding back her envy. "I see how he hugs you sometimes, or how he will squeeze your hand when it's inappropriate to do otherwise."

Diana sighed, looking at her desperate and confused friend with a sympathetic frown. 

"Zhoie, what Donovan and I have is very different than what most other people do. From what I have gathered, we were groomed from a very young age to see each other as incredibly desirable, my grandfather playing a very large role. You shouldn't be comparing your relationship to ours. You also have to understand that our survival is dependent on it, so the little things really can't bother us like they would with you. We just can't afford it."

"The little things?"

"Yep. I cannot afford to worry that I am not as useful or impactful as him, nor can I be bothered that I am an inadequate match for him. I have those concerns, had those concerns, but now I am more worried about the future."

"You mean children?"

"That's part of it, but I also worry about his health and safety." Diana sighed. "I know I'm supposed to be helping you through your problems here, but I fear for his health. He seems fine for now, but he spends basically every waking moment working, and he is awake for a long time. He goes to bed after me and wakes up before me, training his body until he becomes weak from exhaustion before he begins work on more administrative tasks. He already has a construction timetable that extends four years into the future, and every day he works to push it out further."

Fortunately, Zhoie knew about industry in the modern sense. Diana expected it given her knowledge of firearms, but one could never be certain.

"Is it really necessary for him to plan so far in the future?"

"For us? For him? Absolutely. If there were to be a freak accident in the near future and he ended up dead or incapacitated, we wouldn't have anybody capable of planning that stuff out with as much detail and consideration as he does. It's stressful for me to think about, but its work that needs to be done as insurance."

Zhoie frowned, evidently a little bit empathetic to their situation.

"Don't worry about us though, we have a handle on it. Right now we are working on you. Tell me Zhoie, how far have you gotten?" 

"We haven't had sex yet." Zhoie was a little bit embarrassed to admit that, even if she shouldn't be.

"I already knew that sweetie." Anybody who had been listening to her would know she hadn't made it that far. "I want to know how intimate you've gotten thus far. Have you kissed? Gone on a date? Slept in the same bed? That sort of thing."

Zhoie sank back into her chair before moving her hands back into her lap. "We haven't done anything like that. Not yet at least."

"Have you held hands?"

"No."

'Trebar, what the fuck are you doing?' Diana wanted to scream after learning this. Of course Zhoie would be struggling with thoughts of inadequacy, he never gave her affection.

"Before I start ranting I have to ask, is there any part of your religious doctrine that espouses chastity? Besides the Montaug?" Diana wanted to make sure she wasn't getting mad about a religious difference first. It would be rude to give him a lecture for following his rules. That said, Diana felt it was obvious that Trebar should be making a move here. Respecting her boundaries was fine and all, but he wasn't getting anywhere by completely forgoing interaction.

"U-um. No?"

Diana's eyes narrowed. Even Donovan, someone completely inept at romance, had made a move on her. In fact, some of his very first words to her were in the form of a pickup line. Now, it took some time for him to be comfortable with hugging, kissing, and even sleeping together, but he was somewhat proactive.

Trebar not showing affection at this point was inexcusable, and was almost certainly leading her to believe that she was not enough for him. He could personally feel that to be the case, that was fine, but it was apparent at this point that it was out of his hands. Zhoie was going to be his wife, and his first priority in that regard should be to give her the affection she needed. Maybe he didn't have to give her all the love she wanted, but definitely the bare minimum.

"I think I'll have a little chat with him after-" A wave of cheers interrupted her. "What was that for?"

"I think it's already over."

"Already?" Diana was under the impression that duels lasted a while. "Are they usually that quick?"

"It lasted longer than normal, about fifteen seconds maybe?"

"Fifteen seconds is long for a duel?" Diana didn't quite believe her, all of the movies she had watched suggested that people could send minutes in an exchange. 

"For a duel to first blood? Incredibly. Even more so if Trebar was taking it seriously. It can be hard to tell, but there is a fairly significant gap between Cholst and Trebar in terms of skill and strength." Zhoie was staring out towards Trebar, a look of longing in her eyes. "I've yet to land a hit on him in a serious match."

Diana really didn't know how to respond to that information. This was less a matter of love and more the envy of a duelist, so probably Donovan's realm. Actually, no, Donovan wasn't so much of a duelist as he was a general, this was Titanyana's domain.

"Don't beat yourself up over it too much. Everybody has a person they can't beat, it's just the way it is. It's better to acknowledge that fact and move on."

"Does the same apply to you?" Zhoie's intent was apparent. In her eyes, Diana was close to perfect, perfect as a woman at least. She was looking for a way to make Diana check herself for hypocrisy, to see if she listened to her own advice. "I don't think I know of a better person for their partner than you."

"Perhaps, but can you say that one doesn't exist? Do you think I am not trying to become better every day?" Diana saw her push and countered. She would not be bullied into embarrassment by her advisee, not like this. "You know, I spend a good portion of my free time looking for ways to keep him healthy and happy. I also look out for myself, but I am not the one pulling fourteen hour work days five days a week and ten hour work days the other two. I look for any and every opportunity to reduce his stress and force him to relax. As a matter of fact, I had a moment of irritation not half an hour ago because I believed he had ditched the party, his time to relax and socialize, and instead went off to work."

"What does that have to do with a better person?"

"Because to me, Donovan is that better person. He doesn't do all of that for himself, he does it for me, me and our future. He has assumed a number of ridiculously difficult, time consuming, and stressful roles just so that I do not have to be subjected to them, just so that my health is not adversely affected." Diana actually felt a little bit of remorse at that. He wasn't going to drop dead because of it, but it really was having an effect on him mentally. She had to make conversation with him sometimes just to ensure he wasn't lost in his mind, thinking about work. "I could take on some of his work, but he won't let me. He won't allow me to touch it."

Zhoie frowned. "Doesn't that just mean he can't trust you?"

"Zhoie, there is only one person he trusts as much as me. One. He doesn't let me do it because he could not live with himself if I screwed something up." Diana recalled their conversation on the topic. Matters of diplomacy and finances would be left to her, anything she wasn't trained on would be picked up by Donovan and Arc. "If he makes a mistake he will take the blame, fix it, and then keep on moving forward. If I make a mistake he would have to reprimand me, fix it, and then spend the time to make sure I don't make the mistake again. I've already made a few mistakes and let me tell you, he struggles with admonishing me. It's honestly a little entertaining."

Zhoie was silent for a while, frowning as she watched Trebar make a gash on his forearm.

"Does seeing him injured make you uncomfortable?"

Diana's question went unanswered, Zhoie's attention was still fully taken up by Trebar.

"I just want him to . . . I don't know."

"Do you want him to have sex with you?" Diana prodded for details, deciding to start with the topic that precipitated this little session.

". . . maybe?" Zhoie very clearly didn't know what she wanted. "How did, um, how did that happen between you two? Your first time, that is." And now she was asking for advice. It was a roundabout way of doing it, sure, but surely if she could recreate the conditions of Diana's first time then she could also receive that validation, couldn't she?

Diana offered a pitying smile. She understood that Zhoie, warrior though she may be, did not have the courage and conviction to make the first move.

"I initiated." She still went ahead with it, ignoring Zhoie's widening eyes. "He may have been talking sweet only moments before and carried me like a princess up to the bedroom, but he didn't intend to do it at that time. He wanted to wait until after we got out of the Sanctum to start, but I couldn't wait that long."

Zhoie's jaw was practically on the floor.

"A bug will fly into your mouth if you keep it open like that."

"Oh! Uh, so when is the baby due?" Zhoie tried to change the topic away from sex, but kept it at least somewhat related. Naturally a child was the first thing that came to mind after hearing about sex.

"Hm? Donovan seems pretty convinced I will let him wait until after we graduate, but I think I can get him to cave some time next year. If not next year, then definitely the year after."

"You. . . you get to choose when to have your baby? I-isn't sex when the baby is conceived?" Diana looked into Zhoie's eyes and slowly began to realize she might have made a mistake. "Is that just something Terrans can do?"

Diana considered agreeing with that assertion. 'Yes, Terran women get to choose when they get pregnant.' It wouldn't be wrong from a technical standpoint, it just wouldn't be because of a biological process. 'Terran women' just had access to contraceptives, a utility not available in this world.

However just as Diana thought she had made a mistake, she came up with a devious plan. A plan to get pregnant just that bit sooner. A plan to help her friend with an issue she had. The only problem was that she didn't have enough time to set it into motion, at least not before Trebar pushed his way through the crowd.

"Zhoie, I'm not going to answer that question right now. I promise you I will tell you later, but first I would need to get something for you. Find me when you are getting ready to leave, and make sure that Trebar is with you." Diana got up, preparing to return to her patrol. "Try to make sure its just you two as well. Maybe after the party has ended."

"H-huh? Diana? Diana wait!"

Zhoie didn't have the opportunity to chase after her, in short order Trebar was standing before her with blood trailing down his forearm.

cakeonfrosting Tsk, tsk, little Miss Helmsguard is turning out to be quite the pervert. Procreation is important, but she might be taking it a bit too far. She really should tone the horny down, otherwise Zhoie might catch it! Well, I don't believe Zhoie could ever be that lustful, but she could certainly be a little bit more lewd than she is right now. Trebar might be having to deal with trouble soon, and not the type he can resolve with a sword.





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