Fortunately, there was a restaurant with many reviews 10 minutes away. How about here? When I asked Shin, he immediately turned the car around. As per the reviews, the restaurant had a nice view and a pretty interior. Normally, I would have leisurely enjoyed the view from the front window while eating, but unfortunately, there was not much time left before the restaurant closed.
So we had 20 minutes to finish eating and leave. It was the nicest time I’d ever had, yet I was disappointed that it came to an end so quickly. If this was the case, I wondered why we had traveled all the way to such a nice restaurant, but I was content with the warm food inside.
While I was paying, Shin went to a distant parking lot to get his car and I was waiting at the front gate. So all I had to do was observe the people passing by, and there was one person who caught my eye. A young lady was walking a large dog.
This time? In this weather? I felt both astonishment and respect at the same time. The snow has subsided a bit now, but it was still falling lightly and they probably couldn’t wait to go for a walk. I admired the dog even more because the owner was being led by the dog with excited steps with the expression of a liberated Buddha. Although it was dark, I could tell that the leading dog was a retriever known for its good nature.
Perhaps because the retriever had come across the snow, the dog was especially excited, and I watched them with dread. Even though the snow had not yet frozen, the path people were walking on was quite slippery due to the snow being heavily trodden. Sure enough, the retriever appeared to have smelled a cat and attempted to go down to the stream below the road, to which the young lady emphatically replied, “No!”
But at that time, the young lady kept shouting ‘no’ and straining her legs, but then she slipped and fell. At that moment, her hands seemed to have relaxed and the retriever jumped down like a spring into the river.
“Ahh! Charles!!”
As soon as I heard the lady shout, I started running. In the meantime, I almost got cramps on the way down to the river as I was straining my calves to avoid falling, but I couldn’t stop when I heard the sound of splashing in the river.
Fortunately, the river was not deep, so there was no chance of falling into the water, but Charles must have been startled by the cold water and splashed around to try to escape. Of course. It was ice-cold water. Even if a retriever was a seal full of endorphins, friction in cold water in the middle of winter must be something to freak out about.
The problem was that Charles, who was surprised, tried to go straight across the narrow river and run to the other side. I jumped into the river without hesitation. The water level in the river was barely around my calf, but running was not easy. Fortunately, I was a fast runner, and Charles’ long leash stretched out over the water.
Charles went up to the other side and kept blowing his body like a fan, so he didn’t move, so I was able to close the distance. Thanks to this, I was able to grab Charles’ body and grab the rope before he could escape to the other side. At the same time, I fell while holding onto his rope. with a splash! The water made a loud sound. Still, I didn’t lose sight of the leash I caught.
“I’m sorry.”
Oh, the words of apology that came out between my trembling teeth were as trembling as my body. I was sorry that I got into someone else’s car like this, but even his clothes got wet because he covered me with his coat. But he didn’t seem to hear my apology because he was driving the car in a hurry.
“Isn’t it cold? I’ll be there in 5 minutes.”
He stretched out his right hand and grabbed my shaking shoulder. I didn’t know where we would arrive in 5 minutes, but I didn’t have the heart to ask. It was really cold. So even though his car arrived in front of a large hotel after going through a snowstorm, I didn’t notice it properly.
He almost had me half-hugged, so as soon as I walked inside the hotel room, he dragged me to the toilet. He then turned on the hot water in the shower while holding me from behind and poured it all over my body. Like a savior, the heated warmth soaked every part of my body. I soon realized, however, that water was also pouring on the person seated behind me.
“You, you’re wet too.”
“It’s okay.”
As I spoke, he did not move away from my still-trembling body. Rather, he gave strength to the arm that held me, as if he was trying to suppress my trembling. I should have refused his excessive help, but I couldn’t. My body was still too scared of the cold to ignore the comfort and warmth his body gave me. This time I realized for sure that it was this cold when I was exposed to the cold and got snowed on. It was an experience that left me shaking my head. I suddenly became worried about someone who had the same experience.
“Is Charles going to be okay?”
From behind, a quick laugh could be heard. He laughed, and his chest heaved against my back.
“He’s probably being scolded while taking a bath and eating snacks.”
“He shouldn’t catch a cold.”
I felt only his eyes on me without saying a word. “Is this the time to worry about someone else’s dog?”
I muttered as if making an excuse because it seemed absurd.
“Veterinary hospitals are expensive because there is no medical insurance.”
“Sunbae.”
He called me with a sigh. Then he lowered his head on my shoulder and muttered.
“I was really surprised.”
Kim Shin’s hair touched the back of my neck and made me tickle. Heat rose in my head as I realized how close I was to him. Come to your senses and apologize first. I finally came to my senses thanks to my consciousness. What kind of nuisance is this? I was embarrassed since I felt like an immature child who always caused accidents. I was usually very good at my job and had a strong sense of responsibility. Why do I keep being indebted to Shin?
“…Sorry.”
I mumbled and continued to stand under the water from the shower. I didn’t know how long I was standing like that. It was clear that it’d been so long that the skin on my fingertips had shriveled. I wasn’t cold anymore, I wasn’t shivering anymore, but I couldn’t say I was okay. He held me from behind and didn’t let me go. It was just nice to be with him like this. So, when he asked this, I felt rather regretful.
“Are you okay now?”
“Yes,” I answered quietly. I was getting better. Now the shivering from the cold was gone, and all I cared about was his body against my back. He bowed his head again from behind. I heard his whispered confession in my ear.
“I didn’t take my inhibitor today.”
I just stayed still and breathed. Suddenly, the sound of water coming from the shower echoed inside the bathroom, and the slightly rough sound of breathing in my ears filled the inside of the bathroom even louder.
“You smell so good.”
The arm that grabbed my waist pulled my body up with strength. I could feel his erect lower body against my waist. However, his whispers were different. He gave me a warning.
“So run away.”
A loud thump sound filled the inside as if my whole body had been eaten by my heart. My body, which had been shivering from the cold just a moment ago, was now shaking with my heartbeat. I held my breath to keep from shaking, but my legs felt weak and my knees could buckle. I could no longer hear the sound of water from the shower. However, the water that continued to flow from the shower filled the bathroom floor.
The warm water continued to soak my bare feet. There was his foot behind my foot. Unlike the body close behind me, his feet were separated from mine, but whatever part of his body I could see took my breath away. Run away. The whisper came again. I was scared and embarrassed by the warning. But that wasn’t why my heart was pounding. It was different. My heart radiated heat as if in anticipation or excitement.
“Sunbae.”
A call was still heard, small as a whisper, but somehow cool. It felt like a final warning. Now was the last time I could run away. But all I could do was heave my chest and breathe.
“…Me.”
Only one word came out of my mouth. It came out so softly, like breathing, that I wasn’t sure if he heard it. I also had doubts about whether I made the right call. But I didn’t even realize that I had to be loud. I didn’t know. I just felt like I had to follow this moment, this heartbeat.
“Me too…I didn’t have my inhibitors as well.”
The guilt of lying made my heart pound as if it would explode. My hands were shaking. I was sure he must have caught me trembling. This shame dominated me more than my worries about what would happen next. He didn’t react as if he was frozen behind my back. It felt like I wasn’t breathing, but soon his other hand was holding me. My arms and chest were trapped in his arms as if they were tied by rope. I could feel the wet clothes behind my back and the solid body beyond them. He lowered his head on my shoulder and took a deep breath.
“Why?”
He asked and tightened his arms. My mind was pounding, as if my brain was being controlled by my heart. It may also be because of the shame of having to lie. But I forgot to eat my inhibitors, I simply forgot, and the obvious excuse didn’t come up. Even though I couldn’t say anything, his hand around my waist moved. He lifted my wet shirt, came in, and covered my bare skin with his hands. The only thing his hand touched was my abdomen, but I took a deep breath as if my whole body was under his hand.
“Sunbae, why?”
His question came from above my shoulder. He pressed his lips to my wet t-shirt. A cold tremor spread through my chest. I recognized his question in my head, but I couldn’t say anything as if my thoughts had stopped. ‘Why?’ he asked, so I had to make an excuse or confess that it was a lie. But my attention was focused elsewhere. His hand moved down onto my stomach, touching my bare skin. His fingertips went inside my pants. I tightened my lower abdomen and held my breath.
“Can I kiss you?”
I heard him whisper again. His voice mingled with the pounding of my heart. I couldn’t react this time either. But my nerves keenly followed the hand moving over my skin. His fingers on my pants slowly very slowly unfastened the buckle. His hands were as slow as a snail. Little by little, in increments, his fingertips silently pulled down the zipper.
The time was too long, and the feeling of contact with the skin was maximized. So I guess all my attention was focused on the slow movement of his hand as if I was being controlled by it. Only when he stopped his hand did a switch turn on in my head, as if my senses came back. The beating of my heart filled my insides again. I knew he was still waiting for an answer.
“…Yeah.”
It was embarrassing to hear an answer smaller than the sound of my breath.
It flowed between my lips. Did he listen? I didn’t know. However, behind my back, it felt like his breathing had stopped again. But after a while, his hands grabbed me tightly, as if grasping my flesh, and turned my body around.
As the force that was weighing down my back and shoulders disappeared, a feeling of emptiness spread through me. For a short period, turning around felt awkward, as if a part of my body had fallen off. But right now, I was embarrassed that it was obvious how nervous I was. I couldn’t raise my head properly and opened my mouth as if making an excuse.
“Ki, wouldn’t a kiss be okay? We are both adults and older. So, it’s not against the law.”
So, isn’t it okay to do it? I didn’t realize at the time how silly it was. The important thing was to excuse my shame, but it wasn’t very effective. I still couldn’t raise my head. His hand cupped my face and tried to lift it, but I just kept lowering my head like I had done something wrong.
I was just embarrassed by how I looked right now. Even though I was older, I trembled, couldn’t speak properly, didn’t know what to do, and lied. I couldn’t see him properly. His hand tried to raise my face again, but I turned my head to the side and avoided his touch.
He lowered his head towards me. His lips touched my cheek. Without leaving his lips, he turned my head further and found my lips. I knew that it was foolish to say ‘yes’ and keep avoiding him, but once I started hiding, I couldn’t muster the courage. However, I couldn’t escape his grasp.
Finally, his lips which had been persistently pursuing my face touched my mouth. Really slightly. The lips that touched were slightly pressed and then fell off. But that alone stopped everything for me. Breathing, thinking, even shame. He stopped when our lips were almost touching. His breathing sounded so close.
It was so close that his breath felt hot against my skin. Haa, haa, rough breaths, not sure if they were his or mine, mixed and fell between us as we stood still. His hand turned my face towards him. This time, I followed the force without any resistance. Our lips touched again.
This time it wasn’t just a light press. Knowing that I was complying, his lips suddenly opened the space between my lips, sucking quickly and roughly like anyone else’s. In an instant, his tongue was in my mouth. I flinched and stiffened, but he stuck his tongue further into my mouth.
Fortunately, there was a restaurant with many reviews 10 minutes away. How about here? When I asked Shin, he immediately turned the car around. As per the reviews, the restaurant had a nice view and a pretty interior. Normally, I would have leisurely enjoyed the view from the front window while eating, but unfortunately, there was not much time left before the restaurant closed.
So we had 20 minutes to finish eating and leave. It was the nicest time I’d ever had, yet I was disappointed that it came to an end so quickly. If this was the case, I wondered why we had traveled all the way to such a nice restaurant, but I was content with the warm food inside.
While I was paying, Shin went to a distant parking lot to get his car and I was waiting at the front gate. So all I had to do was observe the people passing by, and there was one person who caught my eye. A young lady was walking a large dog.
This time? In this weather? I felt both astonishment and respect at the same time. The snow has subsided a bit now, but it was still falling lightly and they probably couldn’t wait to go for a walk. I admired the dog even more because the owner was being led by the dog with excited steps with the expression of a liberated Buddha. Although it was dark, I could tell that the leading dog was a retriever known for its good nature.
Perhaps because the retriever had come across the snow, the dog was especially excited, and I watched them with dread. Even though the snow had not yet frozen, the path people were walking on was quite slippery due to the snow being heavily trodden. Sure enough, the retriever appeared to have smelled a cat and attempted to go down to the stream below the road, to which the young lady emphatically replied, “No!”
But at that time, the young lady kept shouting ‘no’ and straining her legs, but then she slipped and fell. At that moment, her hands seemed to have relaxed and the retriever jumped down like a spring into the river.
“Ahh! Charles!!”
As soon as I heard the lady shout, I started running. In the meantime, I almost got cramps on the way down to the river as I was straining my calves to avoid falling, but I couldn’t stop when I heard the sound of splashing in the river.
Fortunately, the river was not deep, so there was no chance of falling into the water, but Charles must have been startled by the cold water and splashed around to try to escape. Of course. It was ice-cold water. Even if a retriever was a seal full of endorphins, friction in cold water in the middle of winter must be something to freak out about.
The problem was that Charles, who was surprised, tried to go straight across the narrow river and run to the other side. I jumped into the river without hesitation. The water level in the river was barely around my calf, but running was not easy. Fortunately, I was a fast runner, and Charles’ long leash stretched out over the water.
Charles went up to the other side and kept blowing his body like a fan, so he didn’t move, so I was able to close the distance. Thanks to this, I was able to grab Charles’ body and grab the rope before he could escape to the other side. At the same time, I fell while holding onto his rope. with a splash! The water made a loud sound. Still, I didn’t lose sight of the leash I caught.
“I’m sorry.”
Oh, the words of apology that came out between my trembling teeth were as trembling as my body. I was sorry that I got into someone else’s car like this, but even his clothes got wet because he covered me with his coat. But he didn’t seem to hear my apology because he was driving the car in a hurry.
“Isn’t it cold? I’ll be there in 5 minutes.”
He stretched out his right hand and grabbed my shaking shoulder. I didn’t know where we would arrive in 5 minutes, but I didn’t have the heart to ask. It was really cold. So even though his car arrived in front of a large hotel after going through a snowstorm, I didn’t notice it properly.
He almost had me half-hugged, so as soon as I walked inside the hotel room, he dragged me to the toilet. He then turned on the hot water in the shower while holding me from behind and poured it all over my body. Like a savior, the heated warmth soaked every part of my body. I soon realized, however, that water was also pouring on the person seated behind me.
“You, you’re wet too.”
“It’s okay.”
As I spoke, he did not move away from my still-trembling body. Rather, he gave strength to the arm that held me, as if he was trying to suppress my trembling. I should have refused his excessive help, but I couldn’t. My body was still too scared of the cold to ignore the comfort and warmth his body gave me. This time I realized for sure that it was this cold when I was exposed to the cold and got snowed on. It was an experience that left me shaking my head. I suddenly became worried about someone who had the same experience.
“Is Charles going to be okay?”
From behind, a quick laugh could be heard. He laughed, and his chest heaved against my back.
“He’s probably being scolded while taking a bath and eating snacks.”
“He shouldn’t catch a cold.”
I felt only his eyes on me without saying a word. “Is this the time to worry about someone else’s dog?”
I muttered as if making an excuse because it seemed absurd.
“Veterinary hospitals are expensive because there is no medical insurance.”
“Sunbae.”
He called me with a sigh. Then he lowered his head on my shoulder and muttered.
“I was really surprised.”
Kim Shin’s hair touched the back of my neck and made me tickle. Heat rose in my head as I realized how close I was to him. Come to your senses and apologize first. I finally came to my senses thanks to my consciousness. What kind of nuisance is this? I was embarrassed since I felt like an immature child who always caused accidents. I was usually very good at my job and had a strong sense of responsibility. Why do I keep being indebted to Shin?
“…Sorry.”
I mumbled and continued to stand under the water from the shower. I didn’t know how long I was standing like that. It was clear that it’d been so long that the skin on my fingertips had shriveled. I wasn’t cold anymore, I wasn’t shivering anymore, but I couldn’t say I was okay. He held me from behind and didn’t let me go. It was just nice to be with him like this. So, when he asked this, I felt rather regretful.
“Are you okay now?”
“Yes,” I answered quietly. I was getting better. Now the shivering from the cold was gone, and all I cared about was his body against my back. He bowed his head again from behind. I heard his whispered confession in my ear.
“I didn’t take my inhibitor today.”
I just stayed still and breathed. Suddenly, the sound of water coming from the shower echoed inside the bathroom, and the slightly rough sound of breathing in my ears filled the inside of the bathroom even louder.
“You smell so good.”
The arm that grabbed my waist pulled my body up with strength. I could feel his erect lower body against my waist. However, his whispers were different. He gave me a warning.
“So run away.”
A loud thump sound filled the inside as if my whole body had been eaten by my heart. My body, which had been shivering from the cold just a moment ago, was now shaking with my heartbeat. I held my breath to keep from shaking, but my legs felt weak and my knees could buckle. I could no longer hear the sound of water from the shower. However, the water that continued to flow from the shower filled the bathroom floor.
The warm water continued to soak my bare feet. There was his foot behind my foot. Unlike the body close behind me, his feet were separated from mine, but whatever part of his body I could see took my breath away. Run away. The whisper came again. I was scared and embarrassed by the warning. But that wasn’t why my heart was pounding. It was different. My heart radiated heat as if in anticipation or excitement.
“Sunbae.”
A call was still heard, small as a whisper, but somehow cool. It felt like a final warning. Now was the last time I could run away. But all I could do was heave my chest and breathe.
“…Me.”
Only one word came out of my mouth. It came out so softly, like breathing, that I wasn’t sure if he heard it. I also had doubts about whether I made the right call. But I didn’t even realize that I had to be loud. I didn’t know. I just felt like I had to follow this moment, this heartbeat.
“Me too…I didn’t have my inhibitors as well.”
The guilt of lying made my heart pound as if it would explode. My hands were shaking. I was sure he must have caught me trembling. This shame dominated me more than my worries about what would happen next. He didn’t react as if he was frozen behind my back. It felt like I wasn’t breathing, but soon his other hand was holding me. My arms and chest were trapped in his arms as if they were tied by rope. I could feel the wet clothes behind my back and the solid body beyond them. He lowered his head on my shoulder and took a deep breath.
“Why?”
He asked and tightened his arms. My mind was pounding, as if my brain was being controlled by my heart. It may also be because of the shame of having to lie. But I forgot to eat my inhibitors, I simply forgot, and the obvious excuse didn’t come up. Even though I couldn’t say anything, his hand around my waist moved. He lifted my wet shirt, came in, and covered my bare skin with his hands. The only thing his hand touched was my abdomen, but I took a deep breath as if my whole body was under his hand.
“Sunbae, why?”
His question came from above my shoulder. He pressed his lips to my wet t-shirt. A cold tremor spread through my chest. I recognized his question in my head, but I couldn’t say anything as if my thoughts had stopped. ‘Why?’ he asked, so I had to make an excuse or confess that it was a lie. But my attention was focused elsewhere. His hand moved down onto my stomach, touching my bare skin. His fingertips went inside my pants. I tightened my lower abdomen and held my breath.
“Can I kiss you?”
I heard him whisper again. His voice mingled with the pounding of my heart. I couldn’t react this time either. But my nerves keenly followed the hand moving over my skin. His fingers on my pants slowly very slowly unfastened the buckle. His hands were as slow as a snail. Little by little, in increments, his fingertips silently pulled down the zipper.
The time was too long, and the feeling of contact with the skin was maximized. So I guess all my attention was focused on the slow movement of his hand as if I was being controlled by it. Only when he stopped his hand did a switch turn on in my head, as if my senses came back. The beating of my heart filled my insides again. I knew he was still waiting for an answer.
“…Yeah.”
It was embarrassing to hear an answer smaller than the sound of my breath.
It flowed between my lips. Did he listen? I didn’t know. However, behind my back, it felt like his breathing had stopped again. But after a while, his hands grabbed me tightly, as if grasping my flesh, and turned my body around.
As the force that was weighing down my back and shoulders disappeared, a feeling of emptiness spread through me. For a short period, turning around felt awkward, as if a part of my body had fallen off. But right now, I was embarrassed that it was obvious how nervous I was. I couldn’t raise my head properly and opened my mouth as if making an excuse.
“Ki, wouldn’t a kiss be okay? We are both adults and older. So, it’s not against the law.”
So, isn’t it okay to do it? I didn’t realize at the time how silly it was. The important thing was to excuse my shame, but it wasn’t very effective. I still couldn’t raise my head. His hand cupped my face and tried to lift it, but I just kept lowering my head like I had done something wrong.
I was just embarrassed by how I looked right now. Even though I was older, I trembled, couldn’t speak properly, didn’t know what to do, and lied. I couldn’t see him properly. His hand tried to raise my face again, but I turned my head to the side and avoided his touch.
He lowered his head towards me. His lips touched my cheek. Without leaving his lips, he turned my head further and found my lips. I knew that it was foolish to say ‘yes’ and keep avoiding him, but once I started hiding, I couldn’t muster the courage. However, I couldn’t escape his grasp.
Finally, his lips which had been persistently pursuing my face touched my mouth. Really slightly. The lips that touched were slightly pressed and then fell off. But that alone stopped everything for me. Breathing, thinking, even shame. He stopped when our lips were almost touching. His breathing sounded so close.
It was so close that his breath felt hot against my skin. Haa, haa, rough breaths, not sure if they were his or mine, mixed and fell between us as we stood still. His hand turned my face towards him. This time, I followed the force without any resistance. Our lips touched again.
This time it wasn’t just a light press. Knowing that I was complying, his lips suddenly opened the space between my lips, sucking quickly and roughly like anyone else’s. In an instant, his tongue was in my mouth. I flinched and stiffened, but he stuck his tongue further into my mouth.
