Chapter 115: Despair
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'I hit a wall...' Desire thought.
It was the truth that Desire hit a wall in such an unexpected way.
After all, he didn't know what to do now, and what's more, he was sure of what he thought.
The only thing preventing him from surpassing this wall was that feeling of despair.
It was such a frustrating way to hit a wall, but Desire couldn't talk shit about it.
After all, it was his fault.
'What do I do now?' Desire thought.
However, he didn't know what to do even though he thought very hard.
Of course, he was still undergoing the time where he felt a pain that basically destroyed him.
He didn't want to let go of this feeling, as he didn't want any problems anymore.
Who knows what might happen if he let go of this feeling now that something wasn't working?
Desire sure didn't want to become complacent about it.
'Hmm...'
Desire thought hard and very long just to figure things out.
Although he didn't know, it has only been a few minutes since he started doing this.
It just felt like a long time since he literally was in his own world.
And when a long time, for Desire, has passed, he finally thought of something.
He thought of something that could possibly help him in this situation.
No, it isn't something new or a new way to achieve that state.
Desire would still go on with this extreme and insane way to finish this job.
After all, this was the most proficient way to do it. He just had to complete it.
And the thing that Desire found to complete it was, of course, despair.
However, it was not the despair that he felt when he was being burned alive.
The despair that Desire thought of is even stronger, more depressing, and more critical than any feelings that he ever had so far.
Why? It was because this despair that he thought of using...was the time when Desire almost failed.
When Desire almost failed in completing the Cold-Blooded Trait, Desire despaired.
When Desire couldn't finish it all at that time in Jarina's home, Desire despaired.
When Desire almost lost himself in the process of training the Cold-Blooded Trait, Desire despaired.
Although it was short-lived despair as he was able to complete it, it was still something that struck him in his heart.
It was ironic that it was despair that made him feel again, but then, Desire would take anything he would use.
And this case is the same. Desire would use anything for his goals, even if it were the despair he felt then.
And because Desire had consciousness at the time the Heavenly Demon Trait was born, Desire knew that he could take advantage of it.
That was why he immediately went for it while reliving the pain that he was feeling.
'If this won't work, then...I don't know what will.'
The pain from the Burning Air Trial and the despair that he got from the failure.
These two things were something that Desire had experienced.
These two things could be considered the greatest pain that Desire ever felt in his life.
He wasn't even two years old, but he already went through some dark shit.
He already experienced despair that most people don't even know.
He already experienced pain that even a commoner wouldn't experience in their whole life.
Desire was betting on these two things to make it work.
And when Desire used his Heavenly Demon Trial to achieve that state again, Desire was 'staring at the air.'
He was just 'looking' at the sky with a blank look on his non-existent face.
It was quite amazing, considering that he was feeling extreme despair and extreme pain at the same time.
However, this was natural.
After all, Desire succeeded in being able to achieve the state of awake and not awake at the same time.
Desire was able to succeed in reaching the state of death.
He was able to succeed in reaching the Truth of Suffering.
'Ahh...' Desire thought as he felt his consciousness fade and resurface.
It was a strange happening, but it won't last long.
****
And while Desire was doing his thing, a few minutes have passed outside, and Lionel was just watching him do his thing.
After all, there's nothing Lionel could do in this situation.
It's not like Lionel could enter Desire's 'inner world' just because he was strong.
Lionel was strong, but he was not a god.
"Kuhahahaha. I bet this little fucker is having a hard time." Lionel said.
Although he was indeed rooting for his disciple, Lionel wasn't expecting Desire to succeed in this.
After all, reaching the state of death was hard.
It was extremely hard that no ordinary person would be able to do it. Don't mention doing it right off the bat.
Even Lionel himself had to train for six months just to be able to enter that state.
The Conqueror, Lionel, and the one tilted 'Lion King' took a full six months just to train a single part of the Refreshing Technique.
What's more, Lionel was talented. He was talented than anybody, and he has a lot of potential, even now.
That was why even Lionel was sure that Desire would just back off and ask him for help.
After all, that was how a master and student relationship works.
However, it seems that Lionel was wrong as he felt something tingle him.
He felt something tingle him, and when he realized what it was, his eyes widened!
He even stood up in a hurry as shock overcame him! After all, it was unbelievable.
Although it was weak, Lionel could feel something...something building up.
And what's more, the source of it was Desire.
However, that was not all.
This is not enough to shock someone like Lionel.
What truly shocked Lionel was how he was familiar with the feeling that he gets from Desire.
After all, it was the same feeling that Lionel feels once he reaches this state.
"W-what the...?" Lionel said as he was confused.
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'I hit a wall...' Desire thought.
It was the truth that Desire hit a wall in such an unexpected way.
After all, he didn't know what to do now, and what's more, he was sure of what he thought.
The only thing preventing him from surpassing this wall was that feeling of despair.
It was such a frustrating way to hit a wall, but Desire couldn't talk shit about it.
After all, it was his fault.
'What do I do now?' Desire thought.
However, he didn't know what to do even though he thought very hard.
Of course, he was still undergoing the time where he felt a pain that basically destroyed him.
He didn't want to let go of this feeling, as he didn't want any problems anymore.
Who knows what might happen if he let go of this feeling now that something wasn't working?
Desire sure didn't want to become complacent about it.
'Hmm...'
Desire thought hard and very long just to figure things out.
Although he didn't know, it has only been a few minutes since he started doing this.
It just felt like a long time since he literally was in his own world.
And when a long time, for Desire, has passed, he finally thought of something.
He thought of something that could possibly help him in this situation.
No, it isn't something new or a new way to achieve that state.
Desire would still go on with this extreme and insane way to finish this job.
After all, this was the most proficient way to do it. He just had to complete it.
And the thing that Desire found to complete it was, of course, despair.
However, it was not the despair that he felt when he was being burned alive.
The despair that Desire thought of is even stronger, more depressing, and more critical than any feelings that he ever had so far.
Why? It was because this despair that he thought of using...was the time when Desire almost failed.
When Desire almost failed in completing the Cold-Blooded Trait, Desire despaired.
When Desire couldn't finish it all at that time in Jarina's home, Desire despaired.
When Desire almost lost himself in the process of training the Cold-Blooded Trait, Desire despaired.
Although it was short-lived despair as he was able to complete it, it was still something that struck him in his heart.
It was ironic that it was despair that made him feel again, but then, Desire would take anything he would use.
And this case is the same. Desire would use anything for his goals, even if it were the despair he felt then.
And because Desire had consciousness at the time the Heavenly Demon Trait was born, Desire knew that he could take advantage of it.
That was why he immediately went for it while reliving the pain that he was feeling.
'If this won't work, then...I don't know what will.'
The pain from the Burning Air Trial and the despair that he got from the failure.
These two things were something that Desire had experienced.
These two things could be considered the greatest pain that Desire ever felt in his life.
He wasn't even two years old, but he already went through some dark shit.
He already experienced despair that most people don't even know.
He already experienced pain that even a commoner wouldn't experience in their whole life.
Desire was betting on these two things to make it work.
And when Desire used his Heavenly Demon Trial to achieve that state again, Desire was 'staring at the air.'
He was just 'looking' at the sky with a blank look on his non-existent face.
It was quite amazing, considering that he was feeling extreme despair and extreme pain at the same time.
However, this was natural.
After all, Desire succeeded in being able to achieve the state of awake and not awake at the same time.
Desire was able to succeed in reaching the state of death.
He was able to succeed in reaching the Truth of Suffering.
'Ahh...' Desire thought as he felt his consciousness fade and resurface.
It was a strange happening, but it won't last long.
****
And while Desire was doing his thing, a few minutes have passed outside, and Lionel was just watching him do his thing.
After all, there's nothing Lionel could do in this situation.
It's not like Lionel could enter Desire's 'inner world' just because he was strong.
Lionel was strong, but he was not a god.
"Kuhahahaha. I bet this little fucker is having a hard time." Lionel said.
Although he was indeed rooting for his disciple, Lionel wasn't expecting Desire to succeed in this.
After all, reaching the state of death was hard.
It was extremely hard that no ordinary person would be able to do it. Don't mention doing it right off the bat.
Even Lionel himself had to train for six months just to be able to enter that state.
The Conqueror, Lionel, and the one tilted 'Lion King' took a full six months just to train a single part of the Refreshing Technique.
What's more, Lionel was talented. He was talented than anybody, and he has a lot of potential, even now.
That was why even Lionel was sure that Desire would just back off and ask him for help.
After all, that was how a master and student relationship works.
However, it seems that Lionel was wrong as he felt something tingle him.
He felt something tingle him, and when he realized what it was, his eyes widened!
He even stood up in a hurry as shock overcame him! After all, it was unbelievable.
Although it was weak, Lionel could feel something...something building up.
And what's more, the source of it was Desire.
However, that was not all.
This is not enough to shock someone like Lionel.
What truly shocked Lionel was how he was familiar with the feeling that he gets from Desire.
After all, it was the same feeling that Lionel feels once he reaches this state.
"W-what the...?" Lionel said as he was confused.
'I hit a wall...' Desire thought.It was the truth that Desire hit a wall in such an unexpected way.After all, he didn't know what to do now, and what's more, he was sure of what he thought.The only thing preventing him from surpassing this wall was that feeling of despair.It was such a frustrating way to hit a wall, but Desire couldn't talk shit about it.After all, it was his fault.'What do I do now?' Desire thought.However, he didn't know what to do even though he thought very hard.Of course, he was still undergoing the time where he felt a pain that basically destroyed him.He didn't want to let go of this feeling, as he didn't want any problems anymore.Who knows what might happen if he let go of this feeling now that something wasn't working?Desire sure didn't want to become complacent about it.'Hmm...'Desire thought hard and very long just to figure things out.Although he didn't know, it has only been a few minutes since he started doing this.It just felt like a long time since he literally was in his own world.And when a long time, for Desire, has passed, he finally thought of something.He thought of something that could possibly help him in this situation.No, it isn't something new or a new way to achieve that state.Desire would still go on with this extreme and insane way to finish this job.After all, this was the most proficient way to do it. He just had to complete it.And the thing that Desire found to complete it was, of course, despair.However, it was not the despair that he felt when he was being burned alive.The despair that Desire thought of is even stronger, more depressing, and more critical than any feelings that he ever had so far.Why? It was because this despair that he thought of using...was the time when Desire almost failed.When Desire almost failed in completing the Cold-Blooded Trait, Desire despaired.When Desire couldn't finish it all at that time in Jarina's home, Desire despaired.When Desire almost lost himself in the process of training the Cold-Blooded Trait, Desire despaired.Although it was short-lived despair as he was able to complete it, it was still something that struck him in his heart.It was ironic that it was despair that made him feel again, but then, Desire would take anything he would use.And this case is the same. Desire would use anything for his goals, even if it were the despair he felt then.And because Desire had consciousness at the time the Heavenly Demon Trait was born, Desire knew that he could take advantage of it.That was why he immediately went for it while reliving the pain that he was feeling.'If this won't work, then...I don't know what will.'The pain from the Burning Air Trial and the despair that he got from the failure.These two things were something that Desire had experienced.These two things could be considered the greatest pain that Desire ever felt in his life.He wasn't even two years old, but he already went through some dark shit.He already experienced despair that most people don't even know.He already experienced pain that even a commoner wouldn't experience in their whole life.Desire was betting on these two things to make it work.And when Desire used his Heavenly Demon Trial to achieve that state again, Desire was 'staring at the air.'He was just 'looking' at the sky with a blank look on his non-existent face.It was quite amazing, considering that he was feeling extreme despair and extreme pain at the same time.However, this was natural.After all, Desire succeeded in being able to achieve the state of awake and not awake at the same time.Desire was able to succeed in reaching the state of death.He was able to succeed in reaching the Truth of Suffering.'Ahh...' Desire thought as he felt his consciousness fade and resurface.It was a strange happening, but it won't last long.****And while Desire was doing his thing, a few minutes have passed outside, and Lionel was just watching him do his thing.After all, there's nothing Lionel could do in this situation.It's not like Lionel could enter Desire's 'inner world' just because he was strong.Lionel was strong, but he was not a god."Kuhahahaha. I bet this little fucker is having a hard time." Lionel said.Although he was indeed rooting for his disciple, Lionel wasn't expecting Desire to succeed in this.After all, reaching the state of death was hard.It was extremely hard that no ordinary person would be able to do it. Don't mention doing it right off the bat.Even Lionel himself had to train for six months just to be able to enter that state.The Conqueror, Lionel, and the one tilted 'Lion King' took a full six months just to train a single part of the Refreshing Technique.What's more, Lionel was talented. He was talented than anybody, and he has a lot of potential, even now.That was why even Lionel was sure that Desire would just back off and ask him for help.After all, that was how a master and student relationship works.However, it seems that Lionel was wrong as he felt something tingle him.He felt something tingle him, and when he realized what it was, his eyes widened!He even stood up in a hurry as shock overcame him! After all, it was unbelievable.Although it was weak, Lionel could feel something...something building up.And what's more, the source of it was Desire.However, that was not all.This is not enough to shock someone like Lionel.What truly shocked Lionel was how he was familiar with the feeling that he gets from Desire.After all, it was the same feeling that Lionel feels once he reaches this state."W-what the...?" Lionel said as he was confused.
