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Depressing Illusion - Chapter 32

Published at 15th of June 2023 01:55:23 PM


Chapter 32

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Thanks to that, I thought of Kang Moo-hyun again. I was angry because I thought he was really crazy. I haven’t done anything to Woo Ji-min yet, but even if I did, it would only start in the second semester. If I hadn’t backed up the file like I used to, I’d be a stupid bastard again on the spot. No one would have believed me even if I expressed the same regret, and my name would have gone up and down in the next group assignment.

As I got angry, Tae Seong-je tapped the speaker with his fingertips.

“H-hyung, aren’t you busy?”

[I’m not so busy that I can’t hear you.]

Well said anyway. I laughed and put my head on my knee. It wasn’t particularly bad to get away from the merry streets and hide in an alley and talk to Tae Seong-je. Under the purple sky, the voice and breathing of Tae Seong-je could be clearly heard amidst the shimmering people and the distant sounds of klaxons passing by.

He was a good listener, so even when I spoke slowly, he listened calmly. I was comforted to see him. Even if I ranted about Kang Moo-hyun, the only person I can trust is Woo Ji-min, but I couldn’t express my frustration to Woo Ji-min due to the story development. However, it was enough to say that he is a certain senior to Tae Seong-je.

What was Seo Seung-won’s grade in the book? If it had been B, I would have felt betrayed and died of frustration. No, it was the same if it was A. Kang Moo-hyun, who wasn’t a nerdy senior had prepared my portion separately, but doesn’t that imply that he has already made up his mind from the start?

[Do you want me to scold him for you?]

“No.”

I felt embarrassed because I thought I was grumbling like a child. He asked once more in a puzzlingly endearing tone. So, how did things go? Good job. Because I couldn’t understand Tae Seong-je’s thoughts, I kept my mouth shut and listened. Which was his true self? Was it the one who hugged me tightly or the one who walked away without looking back?

[Did you eat?]

“I came to eat, but I didn’t have an appetite, so I just…”

 

AD

[Why. Because of him? Ah, I’ll have to take care of that bastard’s hands.]

Tae Seong-je said while smiling. But I felt chills and desperately defended Kang Moo-hyun.

“No? No, it’s okay. Well… it was said if you like someone, you become childish without realizing it… He’ll be embarrassed when he comes to his senses.”

I laughed and spoke quietly because I was afraid Tae Seong-je would go looking for Kang Moo-hyun. Even if he doesn’t look like it, this person was a former thug turned gangster, and if they meet in this way, the plot will be twisted and fall apart. I shouldn’t let them meet like this.

[What. Are you siding with that bastard now? You’re defending what he did right?]

“What are you talking about? I’m not saying what he did was good…”

[That’s it. Are you a sucker? You’ve been calling him a jerk all this time and you’re defending him now?]

“Jerk? No, I never called him that.”

I lightly brushed him, but I couldn’t help but smile as my chest felt ticklish. When this happened in my world, no one sided with me. Of course, my parents didn’t understand, and my friends were all busy at the time, so I didn’t have a chance to open up. My younger sister, the only one I could talk to, said I was an idiot as soon as she heard my story, asked why I didn’t show it on the screen, and even nagged at me.

[Where are you now?]

“Ah, now I…”

I sighed after answering meekly because I couldn’t figure out why I kept talking back to him. I didn’t even know myself anymore.

[Are you sighing for me now?]

“What?”

[Why do you keep blowing air into my ears? I’m getting turned on.]

Anyway, he really likes making this kind of joke.

 

AD

“… I will contact you again later.”

When I returned, the student representative and Kim Young-ji were both drunk. I also raised my glass in solidarity. My condition was so good that I would not become drunk even if I drank from a bucketful. But around 11:00, I flipped their glasses over. Because the student representative and Kim Young-ji were dormitory students, they had to arrive before 11:00 a.m. When I said my goodbyes, the student representative, who was drunk to the point of blushing, followed behind me. He offered to drive me home, but I declined because I thought Kim Young-ji was in more danger than I was.

I left the two people behind and went first when I heard Kim Young-ji from behind criticizing him for being an idiot. Even classmates can’t be that close. The distance between them was so close that I wondered if they were close in the first place. I suddenly remembered the three guys I still keep in touch with. But I quickly shook my head and cleared my mind.

Let’s go to bed early. I walked with my body lightened by alcohol, and I took out my phone when I heard it ringing. It was Tae Seong-je.

[Seo Seung-…]

“Yes. Hyung.”

[…]

Unlike before, I answered the phone quickly, but he just laughed and did not respond. When I called him again to find out what was funny, Tae Seong-je cleared his throat and pretend he wasn’t laughing.

[Ahem. Seo Seung-won, where are you now?]

“I’m going home now.”

The breeze was cool, so I stretched. When I made a creaking sound, Tae Seong-je asked in a voice that didn’t hide his laughter.

[On foot?]

“Huh? No. I’m taking a taxi.”

[Don’t take a taxi, come out toward the intersection.]

I wanted to protest, but I needed to get out onto the street to catch a taxi anyway, so I walked as he instructed. However, the gentleman who was so busy that I couldn’t get a good look at his face was right in front of me. He was waiting for me. I jumped up and ran toward Tae Seong-je. I took a breath and opened my mouth quickly, and he tugged at my cheek with a happy face.

 

AD

“Uh, hyung, you said you were busy…”

“It’s time to drop by. Get on.”

Lie.

The half-hearted texting. The late reply. And then the confusing words. Kindness is not my weak point, but it’s quickly becoming one. I’m confused. Is he being nice to me because he likes me? So, does he like me or not? I’m not Woo Jimin; I’m not pretty, I’m not petite, and I’m sure there’s nothing about me he’d like.

The inside of Tae Seong-je’s car was much better than a taxi. As I buckled my seatbelt and hugged my backpack, I sneaked a peek at his side and locked eyes with Tae Seong-je, who was smiling at me. I quickly looked away.

He asked with a low laugh.

“How much did you drink?”

“I didn’t drink much. Just in moderation, a little bit.”

I felt so foolish for stuttering. Couldn’t I have answered better? I felt so pathetic. Inside the car moving smoothly, the smell of Tae Seong-je’s perfume and air freshener mixed together and felt harmonious.

I was very grateful to Tae Seong-je, who personally came to take me home, but I was also so confused and my head was so dizzy. It was not because of the alcohol, it was the mood, the mind, no, just everything. Does he want to play with me? Or was he in a serious relationship with me? If he weren’t serious about me, why was he being so nice?

“Hyung, over there. Thanks for taking me, even though you’re busy.”

I managed to get the words out, and he grinned at me.

“Who’s taking you home? I’m not going to your place.”

“Huh… Then where are we going now?”

“The sea.”

 

AD

“What? The sea? Now?”

As if I’d asked too much, he glanced over at me as he drove and smiled. His eyes curve in an affectionate way.

“I thought you said Monday was an afternoon class anyway, so sleep in.”

I didn’t know he remembered my timetable, let alone make up a destination on a whim. I opened my mouth and narrowed my eyes.

“…You were lying when you said you were busy.”

“No. I was really busy.”

Tae Seong-je laughed happily at my doubtful words. In the sparkling night view beyond the window, his face shone brightly. The corners of his mouth turned up in amusement as he skillfully turned the wheel. I hugged my backpack as tightly as I could as if I were clutching my heart. Ah, it must be because of alcohol that my heart beats like this. It must be because I was drunk that my gaze kept going to him.

As I kept looking at him, he looked at me every time the red light came on as if he sensed my gaze. Somehow, neither I nor he said anything. We just stared at each other every time our gazes met. As if I were dreaming, every part of my body tickled.

What are you thinking? What do you want from me? Why are you being so nice to me? Do you like me? I almost asked him. My lips twitched. It’s driving me crazy that I can’t figure him out. But he can’t really like me, because people who like you don’t leave you confused.

We actually went to see the sea in the middle of the night. It would be dawn when we arrived and dawn on the way back, but I didn’t know for sure, and I was worried if he was okay. After driving for over two hours, I finally saw the cherry blossoms road.

 





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