So the ideal and best thing to do would be to talk to him, listen to him, and send him back to school. However, Tae Seong-je was at home, and more than anything, I didn’t want to do that. Suddenly, the image of Seo Seung-won’s parents, who must have been worried sick about their suddenly missing son, came to my mind. Even though it had only been a few hours, they would have been deeply concerned that something bad had happened and would have made numerous phone calls.
My younger sister dreamed of such parents, such a family. Just like Seo Seung-won’s family. Seo Seung-joon was upset about the good parents my younger sister so longed for. My younger sister desperately wanted it, but I felt unfair and angry because it didn’t seem to be that important to someone.
“What are you. A college student? Skipping school? Not even telling anyone? Do you have any idea how worried everyone was about you?”
“Ah, hyung. But that’s not important right now.”
“Yeah. It’s not important. Why didn’t you answer the phone and worry our parents? Didn’t you know you were going to cause a scene at home?”
“Oh right!”
“What?”
“No, I was distracted and forgot. I really hadn’t even thought about it. Wow, our mom must have been really surprised.”
“Ha… Call home immediately and go to school.”
I should have scolded him gently and sent him off, but all that came out of my mouth were words laced with thorns. Seo Seung-joon’s shoulders hunched up as if he knew he had done something wrong. The guy who used to smile and be careful in front of me now just listened quietly, keeping his mouth shut. I stopped reprimanding him when I realized he didn’t know what he was doing. He’s a kid, he’s impulsive, so let’s not be too hard on him.
As my heart began to soften, Seo Seung-joon suddenly approached me with a gloomy expression on his face.
“What’s wrong? Why is your arm like that, hyung?”
Without even realizing it, I quickly pulled down my sleeve and covered my forearm. The wrist still bore the marks from when I was grabbed by Tae Seong-je, leaving behind red bruises. My forearm was covered in spots from the struggle it endured on the floor. It was a sight that could easily be misunderstood, or rather, it could be seen in a way that would lead to misunderstandings.
“It’s nothing.”
“What do you mean it’s nothing? Show me.”
“What are you doing? Just leave, will you?”
“What’s wrong? Ah, show me!”
I was taken aback as he rushed at me, and I tried to push him away, but he overpowered me in an instant. As if the exercises I learned weren’t exercises at all, Seo Seung-joon’s skill was good for a kid who had not done all kinds of exercises like he was possessed by a ghost.
A shadow fell over my head as I was losing a sibling fight that suddenly started. At the same time, my body was lifted up like a radish. I almost hit my head on the ceiling, but I came down before I could reach it. My startled heart raced.
“It would be better if you listen when your brother tells you to let go.”
It was Tae Seong-je. Well, this person is probably the only one who can lift a grown man up like this. Well, there was no one else who could lift a grown man like this. Gasping for breath, I turned my head and saw a stern look in Tae Seong-je’s eyes.
“He’s your younger brother, right? You two look alike.”
He practically confirmed it without hesitation… No matter how good his eye for detail was, no one would see Seo Seung-won and Seo Seung-joon as brothers from the beginning. They were not similar as brothers. Their appearance was different, especially their eyes, which gave off a completely different vibe.
“Yes, he’s my younger brother. Seo Seung-joon… But hyung, please put me down now.”
It was quite embarrassing to speak while being held up like that. Tae Seong-je chuckled softly and set me down. I thought about not introducing them to each other, but it felt odd not to do it. Things were getting more complicated. I had tried to send Seung-joon away before they could meet, but luck was not on my side. Moreover, they were family and friends, and I didn’t want Tae Seong-je to feel uncomfortable. I hesitated for a moment, then spoke while rubbing the back of my neck.
“Seo Seung-joon, let me introduce you. He’s a close hyung of mine.”
Seo Seung-joon, who had been standing tall, suddenly stiffened. His sudden stiffness was strange. Seung-joon couldn’t take his eyes off Tae Seong-je’s face as he mumbled.
“Why is this senior here?”
“Oh, he’s not from school. He’s just an acquaintance, an older brother I know.”
“Why… Why are you at my brother’s house…”
At my words, Seo Seung-joon staggered as if he was having trouble breathing. Why was he reacting like that? I gestured with my eyes, expressing my apologies to Tae Seong-je, and pointed towards the room.
“Please have a seat, hyung. I’ve finished eating, so I’ll prepare something quickly. Eat before you leave.”
It was not for others to meddle in other people’s family affairs, so this was right. Fortunately, he nodded obediently. I let out a sigh of relief because he didn’t ask what was going on. I’m too tired to explain this and that…
After sending Tae Seong-je inside, I came out to see Seo Seung-joon clutching his tousled hair.
“What is this? Why? No, that person… Hyung, how old is that person?”
“Is that important now? He’s older than you, so just call home.”
I couldn’t help but worry, even though I spoke coldly. His wailing was concerning as if he had lost his mind. It seemed like he was the one in poor physical condition, not me. Just as I was about to ask if he was okay, Seung-joon’s gaze fell upon my body.
“What… Hyung, what’s this?”
I was surprised that he took off my jacket without warning. I quickly stopped him, but it was too late. He saw the large bruise and the bite mark on my side, untouched and swollen. As he realized the misunderstanding, I had no idea how to explain it anymore.
“…”
“…”
An awkward silence fell, and slowly, a look of terror mixed with bewilderment appeared on Seung-joon’s face. Whether it was because of his own frantic behavior or not, I also felt disoriented and dizzy.
“… Could this be a flower that blooms out of love and hatred?”
It was a murmur, but I heard it clearly. It was a strange and profound statement. A flower that blooms out of love and hatred… I felt a sense of déjà vu from that old-fashioned sentence I had heard or seen somewhere. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t easily brush off his strange words as mere nonsense. Just as I was starting to feel confused, Seung-joon made a sudden move. Wearing his shoes, he rushed towards Tae Seong-je and grabbed him by the collar.
“Get out. Get out of here!”
I was so surprised that I stood there with my mouth open, but soon I gathered my wits and made an effort to push Seung-joon away from Tae Seong-je
“Seung-joon, have you gone crazy? Let go of his hand!”
“Stay away from my brother! Don’t stay by my brother’s side! Go away, get out! Damn it, you can’t touch our brother!”
No matter how loudly I shouted, it seemed like Seung-joon couldn’t hear me. He continued to scream, struggling like a person possessed by fear. His screams were so different from what I had seen so far that it felt strange and unfamiliar.
Tae Seong-je looked down at Seung-joon with an indifferent gaze and smiled maturely.
“Who do you think you are? Fuck off.”
Mature…
I wanted to give him points just for not hitting him. I covered my face with both hands in exasperation. What a mess this was. The pressure on my head made me groan. It felt like my brain was going to explode like a bomb. How is it that Seung-joon isn’t afraid of Tae Seong-je? For someone his age, he seemed fearless. If Tae Seong-je were to slap him, Seung-joon’s cheekbones would be shattered. I couldn’t figure out what kind of guts he had to do that, and the headache didn’t stop.
“Hey. Get out.”
“Yeah, fuck you, get the fuck out! Don’t come near my brother again, don’t even look at him!”
“Seo Seung-joon. You get out.”
“…Huh?”
The guy who had been huffing up with overheated excitement slowly turned his head towards me, his eyes filled with confusion. I could see that the eyes we met were shaking a lot, but I didn’t feel anything anymore. e stiffly opened his mouth and managed to squeeze out a voice.
“Are… Are you kicking me out now? Not this bastard?”
“What, this bastard?”
I found myself echoing his words, bewildered by the situation.
“What’s going on with you? Talking to someone you’ve never seen before like that?”
With trembling hands, I hastily took out cash from my wallet and tightly handed it to Seung-joon.
“My face is all hot from embarrassment. I told you he’s a close friend of mine. But what? Is it common to speak like that to someone older than you by ten years? You bastard?”
“Ten years old? Then you’re eight years older than me. Crazy, it must be true.”
“Hey, Seo Seung-joon. Can’t you hear me?”
Unlike my younger sister, Seo Seung-joon lacked mannerisms, possibly because he was raised with nothing but love. How could he say something like that to someone he’d just met? Tae Seong-je seemed amused by the situation, but I couldn’t find it amusing. I hailed a taxi to take him to the terminal, feeling helpless. But as soon as we stepped out of the door, Seung-joon resisted strongly, steeling himself with his legs.
I wondered what kind of scene he was making this time as I pulled him outside, trying to keep my composure. Seung-joon’s face was filled with fear and he trembled uncontrollably as we stepped out onto the street. I wanted to sigh, but when I saw his face on the verge of tears, I couldn’t say anything. After calming down as much as possible, I spoke softly to Seung-joon, my voice tinged with compassion.
“Seung-joon, don’t speak like that from now on. It’s not pleasant to hear those words from someone you’ve just met. And that person is someone I care about. If you act like that, it also upsets me.”
His face contorted as if he was about to cry at my words. Seo Seung-joon soon burst into tears and shook his head.
“What? No, no. Hyung, you can’t…”
Seo Seung-joon repeated the same words like a broken toy. I had nothing more to say to this him. Park Kang-woo was also unusual. But I understood Seo Seung-joon. How confusing it must be to find out that his favorite older brother in his family is gay. Falling into a state of panic and not knowing what to do may have been an ordinary reaction for someone in his shoes.
So the ideal and best thing to do would be to talk to him, listen to him, and send him back to school. However, Tae Seong-je was at home, and more than anything, I didn’t want to do that. Suddenly, the image of Seo Seung-won’s parents, who must have been worried sick about their suddenly missing son, came to my mind. Even though it had only been a few hours, they would have been deeply concerned that something bad had happened and would have made numerous phone calls.
My younger sister dreamed of such parents, such a family. Just like Seo Seung-won’s family. Seo Seung-joon was upset about the good parents my younger sister so longed for. My younger sister desperately wanted it, but I felt unfair and angry because it didn’t seem to be that important to someone.
“What are you. A college student? Skipping school? Not even telling anyone? Do you have any idea how worried everyone was about you?”
“Ah, hyung. But that’s not important right now.”
“Yeah. It’s not important. Why didn’t you answer the phone and worry our parents? Didn’t you know you were going to cause a scene at home?”
“Oh right!”
“What?”
“No, I was distracted and forgot. I really hadn’t even thought about it. Wow, our mom must have been really surprised.”
“Ha… Call home immediately and go to school.”
I should have scolded him gently and sent him off, but all that came out of my mouth were words laced with thorns. Seo Seung-joon’s shoulders hunched up as if he knew he had done something wrong. The guy who used to smile and be careful in front of me now just listened quietly, keeping his mouth shut. I stopped reprimanding him when I realized he didn’t know what he was doing. He’s a kid, he’s impulsive, so let’s not be too hard on him.
As my heart began to soften, Seo Seung-joon suddenly approached me with a gloomy expression on his face.
“What’s wrong? Why is your arm like that, hyung?”
Without even realizing it, I quickly pulled down my sleeve and covered my forearm. The wrist still bore the marks from when I was grabbed by Tae Seong-je, leaving behind red bruises. My forearm was covered in spots from the struggle it endured on the floor. It was a sight that could easily be misunderstood, or rather, it could be seen in a way that would lead to misunderstandings.
“It’s nothing.”
“What do you mean it’s nothing? Show me.”
“What are you doing? Just leave, will you?”
“What’s wrong? Ah, show me!”
I was taken aback as he rushed at me, and I tried to push him away, but he overpowered me in an instant. As if the exercises I learned weren’t exercises at all, Seo Seung-joon’s skill was good for a kid who had not done all kinds of exercises like he was possessed by a ghost.
A shadow fell over my head as I was losing a sibling fight that suddenly started. At the same time, my body was lifted up like a radish. I almost hit my head on the ceiling, but I came down before I could reach it. My startled heart raced.
“It would be better if you listen when your brother tells you to let go.”
It was Tae Seong-je. Well, this person is probably the only one who can lift a grown man up like this. Well, there was no one else who could lift a grown man like this. Gasping for breath, I turned my head and saw a stern look in Tae Seong-je’s eyes.
“He’s your younger brother, right? You two look alike.”
He practically confirmed it without hesitation… No matter how good his eye for detail was, no one would see Seo Seung-won and Seo Seung-joon as brothers from the beginning. They were not similar as brothers. Their appearance was different, especially their eyes, which gave off a completely different vibe.
“Yes, he’s my younger brother. Seo Seung-joon… But hyung, please put me down now.”
It was quite embarrassing to speak while being held up like that. Tae Seong-je chuckled softly and set me down. I thought about not introducing them to each other, but it felt odd not to do it. Things were getting more complicated. I had tried to send Seung-joon away before they could meet, but luck was not on my side. Moreover, they were family and friends, and I didn’t want Tae Seong-je to feel uncomfortable. I hesitated for a moment, then spoke while rubbing the back of my neck.
“Seo Seung-joon, let me introduce you. He’s a close hyung of mine.”
Seo Seung-joon, who had been standing tall, suddenly stiffened. His sudden stiffness was strange. Seung-joon couldn’t take his eyes off Tae Seong-je’s face as he mumbled.
“Why is this senior here?”
“Oh, he’s not from school. He’s just an acquaintance, an older brother I know.”
“Why… Why are you at my brother’s house…”
At my words, Seo Seung-joon staggered as if he was having trouble breathing. Why was he reacting like that? I gestured with my eyes, expressing my apologies to Tae Seong-je, and pointed towards the room.
“Please have a seat, hyung. I’ve finished eating, so I’ll prepare something quickly. Eat before you leave.”
It was not for others to meddle in other people’s family affairs, so this was right. Fortunately, he nodded obediently. I let out a sigh of relief because he didn’t ask what was going on. I’m too tired to explain this and that…
After sending Tae Seong-je inside, I came out to see Seo Seung-joon clutching his tousled hair.
“What is this? Why? No, that person… Hyung, how old is that person?”
“Is that important now? He’s older than you, so just call home.”
I couldn’t help but worry, even though I spoke coldly. His wailing was concerning as if he had lost his mind. It seemed like he was the one in poor physical condition, not me. Just as I was about to ask if he was okay, Seung-joon’s gaze fell upon my body.
“What… Hyung, what’s this?”
I was surprised that he took off my jacket without warning. I quickly stopped him, but it was too late. He saw the large bruise and the bite mark on my side, untouched and swollen. As he realized the misunderstanding, I had no idea how to explain it anymore.
“…”
“…”
An awkward silence fell, and slowly, a look of terror mixed with bewilderment appeared on Seung-joon’s face. Whether it was because of his own frantic behavior or not, I also felt disoriented and dizzy.
“… Could this be a flower that blooms out of love and hatred?”
It was a murmur, but I heard it clearly. It was a strange and profound statement. A flower that blooms out of love and hatred… I felt a sense of déjà vu from that old-fashioned sentence I had heard or seen somewhere. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t easily brush off his strange words as mere nonsense. Just as I was starting to feel confused, Seung-joon made a sudden move. Wearing his shoes, he rushed towards Tae Seong-je and grabbed him by the collar.
“Get out. Get out of here!”
I was so surprised that I stood there with my mouth open, but soon I gathered my wits and made an effort to push Seung-joon away from Tae Seong-je
“Seung-joon, have you gone crazy? Let go of his hand!”
“Stay away from my brother! Don’t stay by my brother’s side! Go away, get out! Damn it, you can’t touch our brother!”
No matter how loudly I shouted, it seemed like Seung-joon couldn’t hear me. He continued to scream, struggling like a person possessed by fear. His screams were so different from what I had seen so far that it felt strange and unfamiliar.
Tae Seong-je looked down at Seung-joon with an indifferent gaze and smiled maturely.
“Who do you think you are? Fuck off.”
Mature…
I wanted to give him points just for not hitting him. I covered my face with both hands in exasperation. What a mess this was. The pressure on my head made me groan. It felt like my brain was going to explode like a bomb. How is it that Seung-joon isn’t afraid of Tae Seong-je? For someone his age, he seemed fearless. If Tae Seong-je were to slap him, Seung-joon’s cheekbones would be shattered. I couldn’t figure out what kind of guts he had to do that, and the headache didn’t stop.
“Hey. Get out.”
“Yeah, fuck you, get the fuck out! Don’t come near my brother again, don’t even look at him!”
“Seo Seung-joon. You get out.”
“…Huh?”
The guy who had been huffing up with overheated excitement slowly turned his head towards me, his eyes filled with confusion. I could see that the eyes we met were shaking a lot, but I didn’t feel anything anymore. e stiffly opened his mouth and managed to squeeze out a voice.
“Are… Are you kicking me out now? Not this bastard?”
“What, this bastard?”
I found myself echoing his words, bewildered by the situation.
“What’s going on with you? Talking to someone you’ve never seen before like that?”
With trembling hands, I hastily took out cash from my wallet and tightly handed it to Seung-joon.
“My face is all hot from embarrassment. I told you he’s a close friend of mine. But what? Is it common to speak like that to someone older than you by ten years? You bastard?”
“Ten years old? Then you’re eight years older than me. Crazy, it must be true.”
“Hey, Seo Seung-joon. Can’t you hear me?”
Unlike my younger sister, Seo Seung-joon lacked mannerisms, possibly because he was raised with nothing but love. How could he say something like that to someone he’d just met? Tae Seong-je seemed amused by the situation, but I couldn’t find it amusing. I hailed a taxi to take him to the terminal, feeling helpless. But as soon as we stepped out of the door, Seung-joon resisted strongly, steeling himself with his legs.
I wondered what kind of scene he was making this time as I pulled him outside, trying to keep my composure. Seung-joon’s face was filled with fear and he trembled uncontrollably as we stepped out onto the street. I wanted to sigh, but when I saw his face on the verge of tears, I couldn’t say anything. After calming down as much as possible, I spoke softly to Seung-joon, my voice tinged with compassion.
“Seung-joon, don’t speak like that from now on. It’s not pleasant to hear those words from someone you’ve just met. And that person is someone I care about. If you act like that, it also upsets me.”
His face contorted as if he was about to cry at my words. Seo Seung-joon soon burst into tears and shook his head.
“What? No, no. Hyung, you can’t…”
Seo Seung-joon repeated the same words like a broken toy. I had nothing more to say to this him. Park Kang-woo was also unusual. But I understood Seo Seung-joon. How confusing it must be to find out that his favorite older brother in his family is gay. Falling into a state of panic and not knowing what to do may have been an ordinary reaction for someone in his shoes.
