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Depressing Illusion - Chapter 7

Published at 15th of June 2023 11:02:36 AM


Chapter 7

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However, the second runaway ended sooner than the first. Because that hyung kept wanting to be alone with my 15-year-old younger sister. I was so naive that I assumed he was a nice and good hyung based on my first impression when I knew him. I had only met good people so far, so I made this stupid mistake.

Ever since I returned to the conservatory, I have longed to become an adult. When I became an adult, I thought that my stupid side would disappear and that I would grow up enough to take responsibility for my younger sister. However, getting older did not mean that I could escape from my father’s shadow. The young me didn’t know that. In bitterness, I looked at the young me as I secretly left the house with my younger sister. When I was in middle school, I felt smaller than I thought, so I sighed. At that time, what was I thinking taking her out and saying I could protect her.

I didn’t know when I woke up, I blankly stared at the ceiling and blinked my eyelids. To be honest, I wanted to sleep more. Even though I couldn’t see my face, I had a voice, I could feel the atmosphere, and I knew I existed. I reached under the bed, grabbed the heavy backpack, hugged it, and closed my eyes again. It was slight, but it felt secure.

I carry my bag because of the kidnapping, but I originally packed this and that there. Thanks to that, my nickname became “salesman,” and I was often teased, but I acted firmly. I had always wanted to leave at some point, but because I didn’t have the courage, I lived with vague expectations of ‘I don’t know what will happen.’ It’s stupid, but it alleviated my frustration.

I opened my eyes again and checked the time: 4 a.m. I woke up early. It was helpful to do something else because when I was absent-minded, I would think of all sorts of things and get sick again. I lightly ran around the neighborhood and after that, I pulled out one of the problem books stacked in the room’s corner to solve it. Despite the fact that it was annoying and I didn’t want to eat, I ate a hearty breakfast. The source of mental power must be the body.

I went to greet Woo Ji-min after listening to the morning lecture because I had something to submit to the department. I approached quickly and bowed my head.

“Sunbae-nim. Hello.”

“…”

Woo Ji-min passed me with a stiff expression. The teaching assistant, who had been openly ignored, awkwardly averted his gaze, pretending not to see me. His face said he’d be embarrassed, but he just laughed it off. Woo Ji-min was wary of anyone who tried to overdo it. There have been so many events that I decided to start the day from the beginning. Woo Ji-min and Seo Seung-won don’t get to know each other until later.

Maybe that’s why I didn’t feel nervous anymore, even if I had 0% likeability. Is it because I have his phone number? I was relieved to think that I was doing well so far. Anyway, the favorability will slowly rise from next month. The group assignments will be prepared early next week at Kang Moo-hyun’s request, but Woo Ji-min is terrified of having to keep in touch with Kang Moo-hyun, with whom he already has many contacts, for assignments.

In the end, because he doesn’t want to deal with Kang Moo-hyun, he has the pathetic Seo Seung-won deliver the words instead or bring the data. After some time, Woo Ji-min realizes that he was childish and apologizes to Seo Seung-won for letting him act as an avatar. After that, the two slowly build a friendship.

So until I received an apology, there was virtually nothing I could do. My role wasn’t that great in the first place, but I had to wait patiently until that time came. To be honest, I wanted to see if Woo Ji-min and Kang Moo-hyun were doing well as they developed, but it was very noticeable that the supporting actors were following in the footsteps of the lead actors.

 

AD

After the afternoon lecture, I went to the cafe and solved the problem that I couldn’t solve earlier. There was a general meeting at 6 p.m., so I had about an hour until the time. I was relieved because my role in both the group assignment scene and the general meeting scene was so small.

I wonder if there was a day when my condition wasn’t bad, but I was especially tired today, so my mind was racing with random thoughts. I noticed a family entering the cafe as I was rubbing my face with both hands. I noticed a girl pouting in the back and wondered what was bothering her. I wonder if she’s a high school student. Everything I had been trying to ignore collapsed to the point of being colorless as soon as I saw the young girl.

I want to go home. I missed my younger sister, I was worried and wanted to go back quickly. I couldn’t remember how my younger sister spoke or what her habits were. I don’t remember such trivial details, but I just missed her. Perhaps I miss her more because she was always by my side, the only person in my world.

“Excuse me… Are you all right? You have a nosebleed…”

“Oh. Ah yes. I’m all right.”

An employee passing by handed me a tissue with a worried expression. Damn it, I’m sick of this. The white tissue quickly turned red. How long do I have to be like this? I forced myself to swallow the tears that came up in my eyes.

When I was forgetting everything about my younger sister, the only thing I remembered was that she was a kid who was bad at asking for favors. She always had a proud face and a sense of accomplishment when she finished something difficult on her own without the help of others. When I was talking to her at the time, she would hum and smile broadly, so I did as well. It was hard to see such a big smile, so I decided to pull a prank on her for no reason.

Anyway, when the kid who didn’t want help so much asked for help, I would mostly help her as an older brother. Even if that meant reading a BL novel and talking to her… Why do people want to share what they like and talk about it?

It was embarrassing at first. I felt sorry for my younger sister, who couldn’t talk to anyone because she was enjoying her hobby secretly, and I felt sorry for not talking and being careless even when I was in the same house as my younger sister because my nerves changed dramatically in my second and third years of high school. So, in the end, I accepted it when I was handed a novel book.

I read it roughly and tried to respond, but the book was too high-level novel for me. Of course, it was fresh that both of the main characters were men, but the love story between a third-generation conglomerate and a poor protagonist was a common story. But how can they end up having sex without a fist fight after such a fierce fight?

My head hurt, so I fell on the table and sighed. I thought of Kang Moo-hyun again. He was certainly tall and remarkably handsome, but I didn’t want to have sex with him in any way. It must be the same for Woo Ji-min, but why? Does it have to be like that in development? Even though he hates him so much…

Is this the fateful flow of the novel…

While reading the book, I stated that there is no possibility of this happening, but at any rate, the helpful information is that the book is divided into two parts, each of which is set in a university and a company. Part 1 takes place on a college campus, where Woo Ji-min and Kang Moo-hyun begin as dorm roommates.

They had very different lives, and nothing could match to them. However, they gradually come to regard each other as pretty good roommates. Then, one day, Woo Ji-min becomes a hot topic as word spreads that he is involved in a scandalous affair with both men and women. Although there is no proof, Woo Ji-min is convinced that Kang Moo-hyun is involved in everything and that he is deceiving himself by hiding in the shadows. He knew he was originally that way, so he assumed he did the same to him.

In fact, it didn’t matter to Woo Ji-min whether the main culprit of the rumor was Kang Moo-hyun or not. When Kang Moo-hyun despises Woo Ji-min based on rumors, Woo Ji-min feels betrayed by the friend he got along with for the first time. Woo Ji-min eventually tired of trusting people and being let down, so he takes a leave of absence.

Woo Ji-min is not a magical gay man, but he charmed the men in the story and drove them crazy in love, and Kang Moo-hyun was no exception. Despite his disdain for rumors, Kang Moo-hyun repeatedly approached Woo Ji-min and confessed his love.

 

AD

It appeared to me to be dirty lust disguised as love, but the main character says it’s love, so it’s most likely true. Even after returning to school, Kang Moo-hyun, whose true intentions are still unknown due to unresolved rumors and misunderstandings, reluctantly approaches him no matter how far he pushes him away, making him annoyed.

In the meantime, the only junior who approached without prejudice came into Woo Ji-min’s eyes. That is Seo Seung-won. An ordinary person who didn’t have dark thoughts and keeps the line in moderation. Woo Ji-min has a great liking for Seo Seung-won just for that reason. Of course, Kang Moo-hyun consumes Seo Seung-won’s disinterested kindness, harmless tone, friendly behavior, and courteous attitude as an element of jealousy. Woo Ji-min envied someone who didn’t care about him and led a normal life.

When the time came, I discovered that there had been a missed call. This happens all the time because I don’t look at my phone. I may need to break this bad habit now that I have Woo Ji-min’s phone number. Anyway, it was the student representative. Why did he call me? I tilted my head in wonder, but got up to see if I’d been contacted to come early for the first year.





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