Chapter 1: Dreams of Death
I was dreaming.
The sound of the heavy downpour was overwhelming. Without opening my umbrella, I looked up at the sky concealed by jet-black clouds that caused the scene to look like something from the end of the world.
Large raindrops mercilessly dampened my body. The tip of my favorite court shoe tread on the puddle that was spreading out at my foot. When I looked down, my right hand was sticky and red with blood. I wonder who it was that told me we can’t experience pain in our dreams.
“Uhh…”
The groan that accompanied the dull pain was so beastly that I could scarcely believe it was mine. Slowly, my body was losing its colour. From the crevices of the hand that I held on my stomach, the copious blood that was flowing out was awfully hot. My life was spilling out.
My life—
Unable to stand any longer, I fell onto my knees. Water splashed on my skirt and my body that was already drenched to the bone with rain and blood became completely chilled.
Stricken with anaemia, my vision started shaking violently. Before I had even noticed, my cheek had already sunk into a puddle. The prancing raindrops before my eyes struck my eyelashes. The hazy puddles made my eyelids convulse with a flutter.
“…Uaah!”
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!
I clawed at the asphalt in hopes of finding something to cling onto. My nails that were painted a faint pastel cracked with a snap. The blood that oozed from the fingernails drew streaks which quickly fell apart into the rainwater. They were like smoke—quivering, blooming, spreading, and then fading.
There was no more sensation left in my fingertips. The cracked fingernails had stopped hurting. But on the other side of the cold numbing feeling awaited a looming sense of foreboding.
“Hah…”
Unable to inhale properly, I panted and struggled, merely opening and closing my mouth. The raindrops that hit my numb lips were as sharp as gravel.
I’m close to drowning—
The rainwater that had started flowing into my mouth heartlessly snatched away all my ability to breathe.
‘Someone…’
Someone, help me—
The cold shower that had increased in intensity relentlessly pounded on me who was lying face down on the ground. My voice did not materialize as words, and the meaningless sounds dissipated into the rain. My eyesight blurred, and my consciousness drifted away. Only the roar of the rain could be heard in my darkening world.
‘Some..one…’
One tear softly fell and mixed into the downpour.
Clap—
My body sprung with a start to the sudden sound that reverberated. What entered my open eyes was a pale warm light.
‘Where is this…? Am I…’
Instinctively, I clutched my abdomen. Although the wound was supposed to be gone now that my clothes had dried up and I had woken from my dream, I still felt a throbbing pain. A lingering illusion.
“…haah, haa”
I couldn’t breathe. My body had become too stiff and refused to move. My fingertips were as cold as ice, and I felt that my body was no longer in my own possession.
‘So..me…one…’
Help—
My vision, that was blurred by hot tears, suddenly got taken away. The prospect of a new darkness sent shudders down my spine. I tried to shake off that darkness but both my arms only spasmed uselessly.
“ —Yuuki-san. Mikage Yuuki-san. Can you hear me?”
It was the gentle voice of a man. I focused entreatingly to the voice that seemed to be seeping through from the other side of a thick water wall.
“Match my rhythm. Let’s try slowly breathing. Breathe in—yes. Exhale.”
Following the man’s voice that instructed, ‘Once again!’, I repeatedly took deep breaths.
Gradually, blood began circulating throughout the whole body, my stiff muscles loosened, and warmth returned to my fingertips. Even breathing became possible without the guidance of the man’s voice.
‘That’s right—this place. He is…’
I remembered and took a final long deep breath.
“Natsumura-sensei—I’m okay now.”
My voice was still a bit husky, but held an unexpected firmness. His large hand, that had been obstructing my vision, was suddenly removed and his figure came into view.
Natsumura Masya has been my counselor for a month.
He wore a pair of slender silver-framed glasses that matched his gentle demeanor. His fresh light blue shirt was ironed perfectly without a single wrinkle to be found. The sound I heard when I woke up must have been his clap.
“Sorry… I’m…”
“There’s no need to apologize. You really seemed to be screaming. Did you have a scary dream again?”
Scary dream. Yes, a scary dream.
“……hah”
My whole body quivered. Involuntarily, I grasped my abdomen. But let alone scars, even the pain that I felt when I’d first woken up was already fading.
“Let me help you up.”
Clasping Natsumura-sensei’s hand, I stood from my bed and was led to a recliner. As usual, I had no energy and had to lean my tired body into the back of the chair.
“Haa…”
I let out a sigh. While I was thinking about where I should start the explanation, Natsumura-sensei poured a glass of water for me. There was a slice of lemon floating on top of the water in the pitcher that he held.
“Have this, please.”
“Thank you.”
The cup that was given to me was very cold. To my relief, I was rejuvenated by the refreshing scent of the lemon. I was overtaken with a thirst when the coolness of the lemon touched my finger and I ended up finishing the whole glass, even though I’d thought to drink just enough to moisten my lips.
Natsumura-sensei, who was sitting opposite to me, looked at me with a smile. I quickly looked away after seeing that gaze. I couldn’t compose myself and I found my fingertips nervously running through my hair. Surely, at this time, even my sensations could be heard by Natsumura-sensei.
“Would you like to tell me about it?”
“—”
Reflexively, I grasped the empty cup with both my hands tightly. Slowly but steadily, the scars that didn’t exist started to radiate pain.
It’s scary just to remember it. I wanted to forget it all; the chillingly realistic moments of my death. Without realizing it, I had put all my strength into the grip.
“It’s okay, take your time. Would you like to have something hot to drink?”
What do you want? —Is what Natsumura-sensei inquired of me.
“Well… I’d like to have some coffee.”
“Alright. I’ll be right back.”
After Natsumura-sensei left the room, the room became very silent. A temperate classical piece was playing in the background but I, who had little interest in music, could not tell which composition it was.
My stomach rumbled. Unsettled, I closed my eyes.
“Fuuu…”
Another deep sigh, and I felt my body would sink into the recliner. My body kept aching for rest even though I had been sleeping until now. When was the last time I’d slept properly?
‘I can’t even remember anymore…’
I haven’t been sleeping well for a very long time. It has to be around 4 months now.
I’ve been dreaming.
Dreaming about getting brutally murdered again and again…
(To be continued.)
Chapter 1: Dreams of Death
I was dreaming.
The sound of the heavy downpour was overwhelming. Without opening my umbrella, I looked up at the sky concealed by jet-black clouds that caused the scene to look like something from the end of the world.
Large raindrops mercilessly dampened my body. The tip of my favorite court shoe tread on the puddle that was spreading out at my foot. When I looked down, my right hand was sticky and red with blood. I wonder who it was that told me we can’t experience pain in our dreams.
“Uhh…”
The groan that accompanied the dull pain was so beastly that I could scarcely believe it was mine. Slowly, my body was losing its colour. From the crevices of the hand that I held on my stomach, the copious blood that was flowing out was awfully hot. My life was spilling out.
My life—
Unable to stand any longer, I fell onto my knees. Water splashed on my skirt and my body that was already drenched to the bone with rain and blood became completely chilled.
Stricken with anaemia, my vision started shaking violently. Before I had even noticed, my cheek had already sunk into a puddle. The prancing raindrops before my eyes struck my eyelashes. The hazy puddles made my eyelids convulse with a flutter.
“…Uaah!”
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!
I clawed at the asphalt in hopes of finding something to cling onto. My nails that were painted a faint pastel cracked with a snap. The blood that oozed from the fingernails drew streaks which quickly fell apart into the rainwater. They were like smoke—quivering, blooming, spreading, and then fading.
There was no more sensation left in my fingertips. The cracked fingernails had stopped hurting. But on the other side of the cold numbing feeling awaited a looming sense of foreboding.
“Hah…”
Unable to inhale properly, I panted and struggled, merely opening and closing my mouth. The raindrops that hit my numb lips were as sharp as gravel.
I’m close to drowning—
The rainwater that had started flowing into my mouth heartlessly snatched away all my ability to breathe.
‘Someone…’
Someone, help me—
The cold shower that had increased in intensity relentlessly pounded on me who was lying face down on the ground. My voice did not materialize as words, and the meaningless sounds dissipated into the rain. My eyesight blurred, and my consciousness drifted away. Only the roar of the rain could be heard in my darkening world.
‘Some..one…’
One tear softly fell and mixed into the downpour.
Clap—
My body sprung with a start to the sudden sound that reverberated. What entered my open eyes was a pale warm light.
‘Where is this…? Am I…’
Instinctively, I clutched my abdomen. Although the wound was supposed to be gone now that my clothes had dried up and I had woken from my dream, I still felt a throbbing pain. A lingering illusion.
“…haah, haa”
I couldn’t breathe. My body had become too stiff and refused to move. My fingertips were as cold as ice, and I felt that my body was no longer in my own possession.
‘So..me…one…’
Help—
My vision, that was blurred by hot tears, suddenly got taken away. The prospect of a new darkness sent shudders down my spine. I tried to shake off that darkness but both my arms only spasmed uselessly.
“ —Yuuki-san. Mikage Yuuki-san. Can you hear me?”
It was the gentle voice of a man. I focused entreatingly to the voice that seemed to be seeping through from the other side of a thick water wall.
“Match my rhythm. Let’s try slowly breathing. Breathe in—yes. Exhale.”
Following the man’s voice that instructed, ‘Once again!’, I repeatedly took deep breaths.
Gradually, blood began circulating throughout the whole body, my stiff muscles loosened, and warmth returned to my fingertips. Even breathing became possible without the guidance of the man’s voice.
‘That’s right—this place. He is…’
I remembered and took a final long deep breath.
“Natsumura-sensei—I’m okay now.”
My voice was still a bit husky, but held an unexpected firmness. His large hand, that had been obstructing my vision, was suddenly removed and his figure came into view.
Natsumura Masya has been my counselor for a month.
He wore a pair of slender silver-framed glasses that matched his gentle demeanor. His fresh light blue shirt was ironed perfectly without a single wrinkle to be found. The sound I heard when I woke up must have been his clap.
“Sorry… I’m…”
“There’s no need to apologize. You really seemed to be screaming. Did you have a scary dream again?”
Scary dream. Yes, a scary dream.
“……hah”
My whole body quivered. Involuntarily, I grasped my abdomen. But let alone scars, even the pain that I felt when I’d first woken up was already fading.
“Let me help you up.”
Clasping Natsumura-sensei’s hand, I stood from my bed and was led to a recliner. As usual, I had no energy and had to lean my tired body into the back of the chair.
“Haa…”
I let out a sigh. While I was thinking about where I should start the explanation, Natsumura-sensei poured a glass of water for me. There was a slice of lemon floating on top of the water in the pitcher that he held.
“Have this, please.”
“Thank you.”
The cup that was given to me was very cold. To my relief, I was rejuvenated by the refreshing scent of the lemon. I was overtaken with a thirst when the coolness of the lemon touched my finger and I ended up finishing the whole glass, even though I’d thought to drink just enough to moisten my lips.
Natsumura-sensei, who was sitting opposite to me, looked at me with a smile. I quickly looked away after seeing that gaze. I couldn’t compose myself and I found my fingertips nervously running through my hair. Surely, at this time, even my sensations could be heard by Natsumura-sensei.
“Would you like to tell me about it?”
“—”
Reflexively, I grasped the empty cup with both my hands tightly. Slowly but steadily, the scars that didn’t exist started to radiate pain.
It’s scary just to remember it. I wanted to forget it all; the chillingly realistic moments of my death. Without realizing it, I had put all my strength into the grip.
“It’s okay, take your time. Would you like to have something hot to drink?”
What do you want? —Is what Natsumura-sensei inquired of me.
“Well… I’d like to have some coffee.”
“Alright. I’ll be right back.”
After Natsumura-sensei left the room, the room became very silent. A temperate classical piece was playing in the background but I, who had little interest in music, could not tell which composition it was.
My stomach rumbled. Unsettled, I closed my eyes.
“Fuuu…”
Another deep sigh, and I felt my body would sink into the recliner. My body kept aching for rest even though I had been sleeping until now. When was the last time I’d slept properly?
‘I can’t even remember anymore…’
I haven’t been sleeping well for a very long time. It has to be around 4 months now.
I’ve been dreaming.
Dreaming about getting brutally murdered again and again…
(To be continued.)
