I got careless. Really careless.
When the girl ran after those piglets, I should have just told mother and Lyra. I should have informed them and only then ran after her. And when the goat wanted me to not go after Lia… I should have just listened.
Yet, I didn’t.
I ran after her. I tried to be a hero. I tried to protect her, so mother would be proud. In the end, I was still the same scared little child. I hadn’t changed at all. I hadn’t grown up at all. Even after leaving home, even after dying.
And now I was dead again.
I couldn’t feel anything, I couldn’t hear anything. Just darkness. Just like last time. But unlike the last time, I didn’t open my eyes in a grass field. I wasn’t picked up by an elf. Nothing happened at all.
I guess, you only got reincarnated once. You only got one chance, and now that I blew it, everything was over. Guess I should have seen this coming.
Who was I kidding? It wasn’t like I was some fantasy protagonist. I was just a typical guy with literally nothing to show for. I was just a typical guy with no real talent. I was just… a wannabe. A pretender.
I got to play pretend till the end. Was my new mother proud of that? Did she cry afterwards? Or was she going to forget me and move on-
No. She wouldn’t. Our time was short but… but she genuinely loved me. It wasn’t just a show. I really felt loved, way more than I ever did back on earth. So, if this was a lie, if my mother was a lie, then… love really didn’t exist.
“Sol-” A faint voice.
Wait, was my mother just screaming nonstop?
Give me a break, I was dead. At least let me die in peace. Move on, find a lover, have kids and raise them well. But more importantly, be happy this time around.
“SOL!”
Gasp! My breath jumpstarted as I stared at the blindingly white light before me. My ears rung and I couldn’t keep my darn eyes open. No, it wasn’t that bright. We were still in the forest. The fresh smell of blood almost made me gag but… but the first face I stared at, Mother’s face put me at ease. She’d been crying nonstop and screaming my name no less.
She smiled, yet tears dripped down her face. She didn’t cry anymore. She just smiled. A warm smile.
“Wh-wha happ?” I tried to talk but words got stuck. I couldn’t. The world spun, I felt lightheaded and kind of drunk. Like that one time, I’d ran into the cellar, grabbed a bottle of red wine and drank half of it. Tasted sour and sweet and bitter and great! The world spun around in amazing colors. And I felt absolutely shit the other day from both the hangover and my dad unfortunately finding out.
“You did well,” she said. “You did really well,” she repeated.
I breathed a sigh and my vision was slowly going dark again. However, … I knew for a fact, I wasn’t dead and wasn’t dying.
Why?
Because mother was here. And she was going to take care of everything.
***
Apparently, I came and went a couple of times over the next couple of days and when I finally woke up a week later, I got greeted with all the Southerners.
They got worried and came to check on me. But then never left. We just had a small hut in the woods, and there wasn’t nearly enough space for them, so most of them just camped outside but, yeah, these people cared a lot about Lin.
Speaking of Lin, she hadn’t eaten much of anything since last week and allegedly cut the tiger in pieces before feeding the meat to the fish and other weaker monsters. Yeah, Mother was scary as hell.
What’s worse, she’d only cut one head of the tiger and the other one was pretty much alive, but helpless, slowly bleeding out the entire time and feeling everything. Meaning, the thing actually felt the whole ‘being cut to pieces’ whilst alive too.
‘Never ever underestimate that woman ever again!’ I again etched the words on my very soul.
“And that concludes what I heard,” Den said.
The others were celebrating that I woke up. Mother was crying in the corner. This was only the second time I saw her cry. But she wasn’t sad or anything, those were tears of joy as far as I could tell.
Anyway, apparently, after biting me, the thing went after the goat and got one of its head cleaved by mother. That much I knew. But after I went out cold, the goat actually sacrificed a bit of her life force and gave it to me, so I didn’t die. And the goat, was technically a spirit called Sisna, who happened to be Mother’s guardian spirit.
Den went back to Mother, and more or less patted her shoulder while she cried.
‘When did you two get so close?’
“Would I see her again?” I asked. I stared at my arm and it was still here, drowsed in bandages and herbs. I couldn’t move it at all. No, it wasn’t that I didn’t have any sense in the arm, it was just that… darn thing hurt like a thousand fucking needles at once! Argh! ‘Well, they have bandages at least.’
“Who, Lia? She’s sitting pretty locked in her room, and wouldn’t come out but sure, I’m sure she’ll come around,” Lyra said. I hadn’t noticed her at all.
They were all here though, they just hadn’t said much and I couldn’t move much. ‘It’ll be a real pain to go toilet huh….’ Just thinking about it made me cringe and feel shit.
“Uh-huh…” I said. It was going to be pretty awkward if I mentioned that I was actually talking about the goat spirit but oh well.
Anyway- I looked over at Mother who more or less had stopped crying and came over to me. She sat down, smooched me on the forehead and patted my head. “Well done. You saved her life. But next time you pull that, I’ll slap you ten times,” she smiled.
She was not kidding, no.
And with her barbaric strength? “You’ll probably kill me, so please don’t…Mother.”
I got a lot of chuckles. “Oh, and it’s Mom, remember?” She smooched me again, this time on my cheek.
“Okay, okay, Mom…” My face burned a bit…
“Oh, he was embarrassed to call you mom…” Zena sneered.
Yeah, not quite.
“You can call me Mama if you prefer,” Mom said. Proudly smirking.
“Mother,” I said.
She sighed. “Alright, alright…” She rolled her eyes. “See, I told you he’s just teasing me.” She complained to her friends.
Now they all laughed.
And with that, my heroics came to an end. And I didn’t end up dead either.
And for the first time, I was actually able to call Mother, Mom, without worrying about it too damn much.
But Mom made it very clear that I was never to try that shit ever again. No sir!
I got careless. Really careless.
When the girl ran after those piglets, I should have just told mother and Lyra. I should have informed them and only then ran after her. And when the goat wanted me to not go after Lia… I should have just listened.
Yet, I didn’t.
I ran after her. I tried to be a hero. I tried to protect her, so mother would be proud. In the end, I was still the same scared little child. I hadn’t changed at all. I hadn’t grown up at all. Even after leaving home, even after dying.
And now I was dead again.
I couldn’t feel anything, I couldn’t hear anything. Just darkness. Just like last time. But unlike the last time, I didn’t open my eyes in a grass field. I wasn’t picked up by an elf. Nothing happened at all.
I guess, you only got reincarnated once. You only got one chance, and now that I blew it, everything was over. Guess I should have seen this coming.
Who was I kidding? It wasn’t like I was some fantasy protagonist. I was just a typical guy with literally nothing to show for. I was just a typical guy with no real talent. I was just… a wannabe. A pretender.
I got to play pretend till the end. Was my new mother proud of that? Did she cry afterwards? Or was she going to forget me and move on-
No. She wouldn’t. Our time was short but… but she genuinely loved me. It wasn’t just a show. I really felt loved, way more than I ever did back on earth. So, if this was a lie, if my mother was a lie, then… love really didn’t exist.
“Sol-” A faint voice.
Wait, was my mother just screaming nonstop?
Give me a break, I was dead. At least let me die in peace. Move on, find a lover, have kids and raise them well. But more importantly, be happy this time around.
“SOL!”
Gasp! My breath jumpstarted as I stared at the blindingly white light before me. My ears rung and I couldn’t keep my darn eyes open. No, it wasn’t that bright. We were still in the forest. The fresh smell of blood almost made me gag but… but the first face I stared at, Mother’s face put me at ease. She’d been crying nonstop and screaming my name no less.
She smiled, yet tears dripped down her face. She didn’t cry anymore. She just smiled. A warm smile.
“Wh-wha happ?” I tried to talk but words got stuck. I couldn’t. The world spun, I felt lightheaded and kind of drunk. Like that one time, I’d ran into the cellar, grabbed a bottle of red wine and drank half of it. Tasted sour and sweet and bitter and great! The world spun around in amazing colors. And I felt absolutely shit the other day from both the hangover and my dad unfortunately finding out.
“You did well,” she said. “You did really well,” she repeated.
I breathed a sigh and my vision was slowly going dark again. However, … I knew for a fact, I wasn’t dead and wasn’t dying.
Why?
Because mother was here. And she was going to take care of everything.
***
Apparently, I came and went a couple of times over the next couple of days and when I finally woke up a week later, I got greeted with all the Southerners.
They got worried and came to check on me. But then never left. We just had a small hut in the woods, and there wasn’t nearly enough space for them, so most of them just camped outside but, yeah, these people cared a lot about Lin.
Speaking of Lin, she hadn’t eaten much of anything since last week and allegedly cut the tiger in pieces before feeding the meat to the fish and other weaker monsters. Yeah, Mother was scary as hell.
What’s worse, she’d only cut one head of the tiger and the other one was pretty much alive, but helpless, slowly bleeding out the entire time and feeling everything. Meaning, the thing actually felt the whole ‘being cut to pieces’ whilst alive too.
‘Never ever underestimate that woman ever again!’ I again etched the words on my very soul.
“And that concludes what I heard,” Den said.
The others were celebrating that I woke up. Mother was crying in the corner. This was only the second time I saw her cry. But she wasn’t sad or anything, those were tears of joy as far as I could tell.
Anyway, apparently, after biting me, the thing went after the goat and got one of its head cleaved by mother. That much I knew. But after I went out cold, the goat actually sacrificed a bit of her life force and gave it to me, so I didn’t die. And the goat, was technically a spirit called Sisna, who happened to be Mother’s guardian spirit.
Den went back to Mother, and more or less patted her shoulder while she cried.
‘When did you two get so close?’
“Would I see her again?” I asked. I stared at my arm and it was still here, drowsed in bandages and herbs. I couldn’t move it at all. No, it wasn’t that I didn’t have any sense in the arm, it was just that… darn thing hurt like a thousand fucking needles at once! Argh! ‘Well, they have bandages at least.’
“Who, Lia? She’s sitting pretty locked in her room, and wouldn’t come out but sure, I’m sure she’ll come around,” Lyra said. I hadn’t noticed her at all.
They were all here though, they just hadn’t said much and I couldn’t move much. ‘It’ll be a real pain to go toilet huh….’ Just thinking about it made me cringe and feel shit.
“Uh-huh…” I said. It was going to be pretty awkward if I mentioned that I was actually talking about the goat spirit but oh well.
Anyway- I looked over at Mother who more or less had stopped crying and came over to me. She sat down, smooched me on the forehead and patted my head. “Well done. You saved her life. But next time you pull that, I’ll slap you ten times,” she smiled.
She was not kidding, no.
And with her barbaric strength? “You’ll probably kill me, so please don’t…Mother.”
I got a lot of chuckles. “Oh, and it’s Mom, remember?” She smooched me again, this time on my cheek.
“Okay, okay, Mom…” My face burned a bit…
“Oh, he was embarrassed to call you mom…” Zena sneered.
Yeah, not quite.
“You can call me Mama if you prefer,” Mom said. Proudly smirking.
“Mother,” I said.
She sighed. “Alright, alright…” She rolled her eyes. “See, I told you he’s just teasing me.” She complained to her friends.
Now they all laughed.
And with that, my heroics came to an end. And I didn’t end up dead either.
And for the first time, I was actually able to call Mother, Mom, without worrying about it too damn much.
But Mom made it very clear that I was never to try that shit ever again. No sir!
