I was trapped in a melancholy.
The days did pass but they passed slowly. With each passing day, the dreaded feeling only got worse and worse. Yet I had to hold it in. I had to smile in front of her. And she had to smile in front of me. But we both knew… neither of us were smiling.
Mom had initially wanted to leave with me. But upon realizing the church was pretty much onto us or rather her, she had no other choice. I understood that. I really did. Yet….
Sigh.
The days did pass slowly. But eventually they just passed. And my birthday arrived. I woke up early, and left home. My destination… the cave; I didn’t tell Mom since she wouldn’t approve. Serec did saw me, but weirdly didn’t stop me and just trailed me instead. I took some jerky, and traveled all on my own.
These days, I knew my way around the forest somewhat and could easily avoid low rank fiends. Low ranks were mostly just two headed deer and birds. And for their part, they tended to avoid me too. Anyway, I eventually made it to the cave and upon entrance was greeted by a familiar shit smell.
On the second floor I was greeted by the white lizard squad. There were about twelve of them. And I’d brought about thirteen pieces of jerky.
I wasn’t supposed to come today and they had no way of knowing. Yet, they knew. Meaning, the lizard had at least the basic idea of what I was thinking. “I know you’re around,” I said. “I’m leaving for a journey tonight. I won’t be back for years. Mom or maybe one of her friends would bring your meat here. Can’t say much about whether it’d be weekly or month but-”
Trickle….
The lizard dropped from the ceiling. Unlike last time, I didn’t jump back. I knew it wouldn’t hurt me.
“Ke k eke!”
I never liked that laugh. But oh well. “So this is goodbye for now,” I said, handing the bag full of jerky. It bit into the bag, but didn’t touch the meat and instead gave the stuff to its kids?
That said, I turned and left.
‘Call upon us. When danger prevails.’
The words reverberated in my mind and I felt tranquil for a few seconds before the nauseating smell made me regurgitate some spit… argh.
Glad I didn’t have breakfast.
***
I came back and Mom didn’t really ask me questions. She probably thought I’d gone out for a walk. Which was good and I wanted to keep it that way.
So, I gave Serec a wink and he winked back. These past few days he’d been camping outside our house during the night. Serec was touted as one of the strongest of the village. And any sane person wouldn’t really want to mess with him. Or so I’d been told. He’d camp outside for the night and when morning came, just leave without a word. He did sometimes join us for breakfast but today wasn’t one of those days.
“You reek,” Mom said. “Cave?”
Sigh. I might have forgotten how sharp her intuition was for a second there. “Yeah.”
“Go shower. We’re expecting guests.”
She’d cleaned up the living room and neatly decorated the place. We were going to have a party. A tea party of sorts.
Good enough for me. It was just that… every time I thought I was going to leave… my chest shivered and I felt… odd.
“The goat never really did come huh?” I wondered aloud.
“She… won’t be back,” Mom said. I tried not to think too much about the deeper meaning behind those words.
I went and got a shower. Before I could wiggle out of the pond though, Lyra saw me. Not just her, Lia too. She took one look at me, looked away, and then turned back to me for another look and repeated that for a while. Was she embarrassed? It’s not like you’re the one being peeked at.
Anyway, we went in and Mom greeted them as usual.
***
Many of Mom’s friends had come; Zena, Serec, Xerec. Some of mine did too. Jarb and Tan. Unfortunately, the fatty couldn’t make it. “He’ll come swing by the evening though. Said he wanted to tell you something,” Jarb said.
Next came Derec. The only guy I hadn’t seen in a while was Aluc, the team spotter. Apparently, he was out in an excursion to the capital and would be back next year. Guess, I’ll never see him again. Then again, we never spoke a word, ever, so I wasn’t going to miss him.
“Sure.”
Mom served everyone her trademark soup. But it wasn’t just soup today. We had roasted fowl, wheat bread and rice too! A feast!
I wasn’t feeling it though. The food was amazing. Perhaps the best I’d tasted so far. And it wasn’t just because Mom cooked it all. The food really was good. But-
Sigh.
Den came late. He greeted us and sat down a bottle of what I could only describe as… wine.
White and cloudy and when I took a sip it was sweet and really cold. Not alcoholic at all. Date juice.
“I had to keep it cold with ice,” Den showed the wet bag he was carrying it in. “Ever seen ice Sol?”
“Nope,” I lied as I breathed, touched one wet cube and- “COLD!” The other kids also hurried and took the cubes in their hands.
“Cold! Cold!” Well, they sure seemed have fun. Mom and the others laughed too.
We all took small sips and it was pretty much gone by the time I took a second sip. There were no date palms around these parts. And winter never touched the woods either. So that meant Den probably went far to get this. So that’s why you were gone for three days.
A smile ran across my face. I couldn’t suppress it. People were chatting. They were laughing. And… although this was only possible because I was here… it still gave me hope they’ll be fine even if I wasn’t.
Besides Mom was fine all this time. She’ll be fine in the future too. I did accuse Den and I did think he’d try stuff but maybe it was better he did. If Mom was happy, I was going to be happy.
So yeah… it was fine.
I was trapped in a melancholy.
The days did pass but they passed slowly. With each passing day, the dreaded feeling only got worse and worse. Yet I had to hold it in. I had to smile in front of her. And she had to smile in front of me. But we both knew… neither of us were smiling.
Mom had initially wanted to leave with me. But upon realizing the church was pretty much onto us or rather her, she had no other choice. I understood that. I really did. Yet….
Sigh.
The days did pass slowly. But eventually they just passed. And my birthday arrived. I woke up early, and left home. My destination… the cave; I didn’t tell Mom since she wouldn’t approve. Serec did saw me, but weirdly didn’t stop me and just trailed me instead. I took some jerky, and traveled all on my own.
These days, I knew my way around the forest somewhat and could easily avoid low rank fiends. Low ranks were mostly just two headed deer and birds. And for their part, they tended to avoid me too. Anyway, I eventually made it to the cave and upon entrance was greeted by a familiar shit smell.
On the second floor I was greeted by the white lizard squad. There were about twelve of them. And I’d brought about thirteen pieces of jerky.
I wasn’t supposed to come today and they had no way of knowing. Yet, they knew. Meaning, the lizard had at least the basic idea of what I was thinking. “I know you’re around,” I said. “I’m leaving for a journey tonight. I won’t be back for years. Mom or maybe one of her friends would bring your meat here. Can’t say much about whether it’d be weekly or month but-”
Trickle….
The lizard dropped from the ceiling. Unlike last time, I didn’t jump back. I knew it wouldn’t hurt me.
“Ke k eke!”
I never liked that laugh. But oh well. “So this is goodbye for now,” I said, handing the bag full of jerky. It bit into the bag, but didn’t touch the meat and instead gave the stuff to its kids?
That said, I turned and left.
‘Call upon us. When danger prevails.’
The words reverberated in my mind and I felt tranquil for a few seconds before the nauseating smell made me regurgitate some spit… argh.
Glad I didn’t have breakfast.
***
I came back and Mom didn’t really ask me questions. She probably thought I’d gone out for a walk. Which was good and I wanted to keep it that way.
So, I gave Serec a wink and he winked back. These past few days he’d been camping outside our house during the night. Serec was touted as one of the strongest of the village. And any sane person wouldn’t really want to mess with him. Or so I’d been told. He’d camp outside for the night and when morning came, just leave without a word. He did sometimes join us for breakfast but today wasn’t one of those days.
“You reek,” Mom said. “Cave?”
Sigh. I might have forgotten how sharp her intuition was for a second there. “Yeah.”
“Go shower. We’re expecting guests.”
She’d cleaned up the living room and neatly decorated the place. We were going to have a party. A tea party of sorts.
Good enough for me. It was just that… every time I thought I was going to leave… my chest shivered and I felt… odd.
“The goat never really did come huh?” I wondered aloud.
“She… won’t be back,” Mom said. I tried not to think too much about the deeper meaning behind those words.
I went and got a shower. Before I could wiggle out of the pond though, Lyra saw me. Not just her, Lia too. She took one look at me, looked away, and then turned back to me for another look and repeated that for a while. Was she embarrassed? It’s not like you’re the one being peeked at.
Anyway, we went in and Mom greeted them as usual.
***
Many of Mom’s friends had come; Zena, Serec, Xerec. Some of mine did too. Jarb and Tan. Unfortunately, the fatty couldn’t make it. “He’ll come swing by the evening though. Said he wanted to tell you something,” Jarb said.
Next came Derec. The only guy I hadn’t seen in a while was Aluc, the team spotter. Apparently, he was out in an excursion to the capital and would be back next year. Guess, I’ll never see him again. Then again, we never spoke a word, ever, so I wasn’t going to miss him.
“Sure.”
Mom served everyone her trademark soup. But it wasn’t just soup today. We had roasted fowl, wheat bread and rice too! A feast!
I wasn’t feeling it though. The food was amazing. Perhaps the best I’d tasted so far. And it wasn’t just because Mom cooked it all. The food really was good. But-
Sigh.
Den came late. He greeted us and sat down a bottle of what I could only describe as… wine.
White and cloudy and when I took a sip it was sweet and really cold. Not alcoholic at all. Date juice.
“I had to keep it cold with ice,” Den showed the wet bag he was carrying it in. “Ever seen ice Sol?”
“Nope,” I lied as I breathed, touched one wet cube and- “COLD!” The other kids also hurried and took the cubes in their hands.
“Cold! Cold!” Well, they sure seemed have fun. Mom and the others laughed too.
We all took small sips and it was pretty much gone by the time I took a second sip. There were no date palms around these parts. And winter never touched the woods either. So that meant Den probably went far to get this. So that’s why you were gone for three days.
A smile ran across my face. I couldn’t suppress it. People were chatting. They were laughing. And… although this was only possible because I was here… it still gave me hope they’ll be fine even if I wasn’t.
Besides Mom was fine all this time. She’ll be fine in the future too. I did accuse Den and I did think he’d try stuff but maybe it was better he did. If Mom was happy, I was going to be happy.
So yeah… it was fine.
