A few days have passed since then and I have been thinking about Mitani-san in a daze.
As I had told Asagiri and the others, I was not actively working to solve her problems.
That’s how low our relationship value is.
We just talked on the rooftop, talked in front of the bathroom, and looked for something in the garbage dump.
I don’t mean to be that meddlesome. ….but the reason I’m concerned about it is because I think of her as my younger sister.
She is the same age as my sister. If she were alive, she would have been like that. That’s why I feel as if I can’t leave her alone.
While I was feeling this way, I happened to find Mitani-san on my way to school.
“Oh.”
“Ah, …….”
When Mitani-san’s eyes meet mine, she blatantly turns her head away and walks quickly.
She is clearly trying to avoid me. That time, she suddenly left the other day, and she may have felt awkward.
well, it’s quite painful to be avoided just by making eye contact.
That kind of reaction makes me want to talk to her even if I don’t mean to.
“Mitani-san. Good morning.”
“…… Haaa.”
I approached her faster and greeted her, and she gave a small sigh.
“Good morning, senpai.”
“Good morning. There is no need to make such a blatantly disgusted face. Did I do something that bad?”
“…… No. It’s my problem.”
“I see. If you want, you can go to school with me. If you don’t want to, that’s fine.”
“…………It’s fine with me.”
Mitani-san nodded, though she was a little hesitant to say so.
Then we walked side by side on the way to the school.
“…..”
“..”
Mitani-san doesn’t intend to say anything, and the silence continues. It is just plain awkward. I would have thought, “If this is how it’s going to be,” as I usually do.
“Senpai is such an uncommon person, isn’t he?”
“What’s with the attitude?”
“I think it’s odd that you go out of your way to pay attention to a plain girl like me.”
“I don’t think it’s anything to do with being plain. And it’s not like I’m paying attention to you. It’s just that I care about Mitani-san.”
“——!??”
“You and my sister look a lot alike.”
“…… Is that what you mean? Don’t say it in a confusing way.”
She stared at me. It is true that I may have spoken a little nastily, but it was payback for the disgusted look on my face earlier.
“What kind of person is your sister?”
“Ah, she’s very bright.”
“……, what is it about her that makes her so similar to me?”
“The atmosphere.”
” ….. I’m even more confused.”
It’s really just a feeling. It’s not that they look alike or anything. But I can’t help but see her as my younger sister, Takihana.
Takihana was also bullied in the past.
“Isn’t it spicy?”
“tss”
Mitani-san’s face changed color at the question so abruptly asked.
She looked like she didn’t want to say much.
“You were acting strange the other day when you left the café. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine.”
“……It’s not like that. It’s just that I felt bad about intruding on your friendly space.”
“So you’re saying you were concerned about me.”
“Yes.”
If Asagiri were to tell me, she would say that she knew that face, or something like that.
It was obvious how Mitani-san looked at that moment.
“……I’m still grateful to senpai for this. I’ve had a lot of help and I …… don’t want to cause any more trouble for Senpai. Miyano-san, she have a very strong influence in this area. Moreover,…… it’s not just because those people are harassing me that I’m troubled.”
“I knew you were bothered.”
“I’m sorry, ……. I’m sorry, that was a slip of the tongue. Forget it.”
As soon as she looked annoyed, Mitani san turned her face away.
“If you have a problem, why don’t you tell me? It might be easier to talk to a complete stranger like me than you might think. Besides, how about …… as a thank you for helping you find your keychain the other day?
“……, that’s not fair. How could I refuse?”
Apparently, she is a serious person.
I didn’t say anything about thanking, but when I quoted it, it seemed to go over well.
I thought I had said something bad to Mitani san, who still had a gloomy look on her face, and hurried to follow up with her.
“No, I’m not going to force you to listen to me. If you really don’t want to, that’s fine!”
“I’m fine ……. It won’t help me if I talk about these problems.”
“Well, anyway, will you tell me?”
“…… lately, I don’t know who I am.”
As if trying to squeeze some words out of her, Mitani san began to talk.
“Is that because you’re being harassed …… by bullies?”
“You don’t have to worry about it. Yes, that’s part of it, but ……”
“But?”
“Would you believe me if I told you that I’m popular?”
“……”
What are you talking about out of the blue?
It’s not right to deny it here, but there’s no use in flattery.
“I’m sorry, but you don’t look like that.”
“I know, right? Of course not. I’m such a plain, dull, in-capable girl. There is no way I could look like that.”
I didn’t say that much, but …… don’t you think you’re being too down on yourself?
I don’t know what to say to her.
“We’re almost there, so I’ll go on ahead of you. I feel a little better now that you’ve listened to me.”
I found myself looking at the school.
After saying this, Mitani-san left.
“She didn’t look very refreshed, though.”
I was left alone and headed to my classroom.
The day passed equally whether I had problems or not.
Time passed quickly after our morning exchange.
On the way home from school. I decided to take a different route home once in a while. Somehow I came up with this idea, and I was near the river where I had jumped in to save Kurase before.
I like this kind of scenery in the countryside. Just walking along such a quiet scene, I could clear my mind to some extent.
It was when I was approaching the bridge.
＊＊＊
“Gone…..Gone! Not here….”
＊＊＊
“…..”
The future I can see again.
I see Mitani-san in the cold river, desperately searching for something.
There is more frustration on her face than when I saw the garbage dump.
And then there were the three female students peering at her from the bridge with a sickening smile on their faces. There was the girl named Miyano, whom I had seen skipping school with the two girls I had almost bumped into the other day.
◆
“Hey! Get out of the way!”
“……”
Today was not a very good day.
After I separated from senpai in the morning, I was fed up with being harassed all day by Miyano-san, who met me at the shoe box.
Apparently, she had a fight with her boyfriend and she was in a bad mood.
The reason why I know this is because I heard the usual three guys talking loudly, even though I didn’t like it.
The reason was that her boyfriend was cheating on her.
I was being harassed more than usual, perhaps because of the punishment I was spending my time thinking, “Suck it up,” on the inside.
She threw away my pencil box, made a mess of my lunch box, and so on. The contents were even worse than usual.
Perhaps it was because I hadn’t been streaming lately, but I was feeling more and more depressed.
“Look, if you’re frustrated, just yell for help and see.”
“Well, no one will help a dark, plain, incast like you…”
It’s really true. People around me are just looking at me being bullied around them.
I don’t need any help. As long as I could get some praise on the Internet, I could keep myself.
That’s what I thought.
But after the slanderous comments I received from fans before, I lost track of things. Since then, I have lost track of many things.
Am I the real me, the plain girl who is bullied at school?
Or is the popular person I am on the Internet the real me?
What was my normal self like?
What was I like in the past?
More and more, the gap between the real me and the online me was growing.
I didn’t just suffer from being bullied.
I wanted to start crying because I was being bullied, but online I had to act cheerful. I have to live up to everyone’s expectations.
But I also don’t want to be dark. I really want to be as cheerful and free as I am on the Internet.
But that’s not going to happen.
How can I escape from this pain?
My heart was at its limit, as there was nowhere to escape from both reality and the Internet.
“Hey, will you come home with me?”
“Great. Let’s have some fun at her expense!”
Why did I have to go through all this?
All I wanted was to be quiet and simple.
“Jimitani? Aren’t you responding to me at all?”
“Ignore me, you’re really getting on my nerves.”
“Please……”
“Haa? What?”
“……, please stop it!”
“What are you talking about?”
“I said please stop harassing me! ah ……”
I shouldn’t have said it.
In an instant, I regret my decision. I said unnecessary things because I was so emotional from thinking about it.
The expressions on the faces of the three girl were cold.
And then one of the three girl comes up to me.
—-I was hit ……!
That thought was short-lived.
The pain didn’t hit me. I just felt a slight tug on something.
“I heard that this is something important. Masashi.”
“Eh, what’s this, it’s in shreds!”
“Hey~. It’s so dirty, why don’t you throw it away somewhere?”
What the three of them were holding was a bear key chain that was supposed to be on my bag, but had been fixed by senpai.
“P-Please give it back!”
I pleaded desperately, but they held their hands up high and took it out of my reach.
And then,
“If it’s so important…”
“Please don’t! That’s…!”
“Come and get it!”
It was thrown from the bridge into the river, and fell without defying gravity.
“Aah, …….”
“Pfft, you’re really depressed.”
“It’s boring. Let’s go home.”
“Yeah, right. Let’s go to Nagahama.”
“Let’s do it, let’s do it!”
With that, the three of them went away.
I was standing there, in total darkness.
“Hey, Mitani san? Are you there?”
But then I heard a voice from under the bridge that I was not supposed to hear.
I hurriedly peeked under the bridge.
“S-Senpai?”
There, for some reason, was senpai clutching something precious to me.
A few days have passed since then and I have been thinking about Mitani-san in a daze.
As I had told Asagiri and the others, I was not actively working to solve her problems.
That’s how low our relationship value is.
We just talked on the rooftop, talked in front of the bathroom, and looked for something in the garbage dump.
I don’t mean to be that meddlesome. ….but the reason I’m concerned about it is because I think of her as my younger sister.
She is the same age as my sister. If she were alive, she would have been like that. That’s why I feel as if I can’t leave her alone.
While I was feeling this way, I happened to find Mitani-san on my way to school.
“Oh.”
“Ah, …….”
When Mitani-san’s eyes meet mine, she blatantly turns her head away and walks quickly.
She is clearly trying to avoid me. That time, she suddenly left the other day, and she may have felt awkward.
well, it’s quite painful to be avoided just by making eye contact.
That kind of reaction makes me want to talk to her even if I don’t mean to.
“Mitani-san. Good morning.”
“…… Haaa.”
I approached her faster and greeted her, and she gave a small sigh.
“Good morning, senpai.”
“Good morning. There is no need to make such a blatantly disgusted face. Did I do something that bad?”
“…… No. It’s my problem.”
“I see. If you want, you can go to school with me. If you don’t want to, that’s fine.”
“…………It’s fine with me.”
Mitani-san nodded, though she was a little hesitant to say so.
Then we walked side by side on the way to the school.
“…..”
“..”
Mitani-san doesn’t intend to say anything, and the silence continues. It is just plain awkward. I would have thought, “If this is how it’s going to be,” as I usually do.
“Senpai is such an uncommon person, isn’t he?”
“What’s with the attitude?”
“I think it’s odd that you go out of your way to pay attention to a plain girl like me.”
“I don’t think it’s anything to do with being plain. And it’s not like I’m paying attention to you. It’s just that I care about Mitani-san.”
“——!??”
“You and my sister look a lot alike.”
“…… Is that what you mean? Don’t say it in a confusing way.”
She stared at me. It is true that I may have spoken a little nastily, but it was payback for the disgusted look on my face earlier.
“What kind of person is your sister?”
“Ah, she’s very bright.”
“……, what is it about her that makes her so similar to me?”
“The atmosphere.”
” ….. I’m even more confused.”
It’s really just a feeling. It’s not that they look alike or anything. But I can’t help but see her as my younger sister, Takihana.
Takihana was also bullied in the past.
“Isn’t it spicy?”
“tss”
Mitani-san’s face changed color at the question so abruptly asked.
She looked like she didn’t want to say much.
“You were acting strange the other day when you left the café. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine.”
“……It’s not like that. It’s just that I felt bad about intruding on your friendly space.”
“So you’re saying you were concerned about me.”
“Yes.”
If Asagiri were to tell me, she would say that she knew that face, or something like that.
It was obvious how Mitani-san looked at that moment.
“……I’m still grateful to senpai for this. I’ve had a lot of help and I …… don’t want to cause any more trouble for Senpai. Miyano-san, she have a very strong influence in this area. Moreover,…… it’s not just because those people are harassing me that I’m troubled.”
“I knew you were bothered.”
“I’m sorry, ……. I’m sorry, that was a slip of the tongue. Forget it.”
As soon as she looked annoyed, Mitani san turned her face away.
“If you have a problem, why don’t you tell me? It might be easier to talk to a complete stranger like me than you might think. Besides, how about …… as a thank you for helping you find your keychain the other day?
“……, that’s not fair. How could I refuse?”
Apparently, she is a serious person.
I didn’t say anything about thanking, but when I quoted it, it seemed to go over well.
I thought I had said something bad to Mitani san, who still had a gloomy look on her face, and hurried to follow up with her.
“No, I’m not going to force you to listen to me. If you really don’t want to, that’s fine!”
“I’m fine ……. It won’t help me if I talk about these problems.”
“Well, anyway, will you tell me?”
“…… lately, I don’t know who I am.”
As if trying to squeeze some words out of her, Mitani san began to talk.
“Is that because you’re being harassed …… by bullies?”
“You don’t have to worry about it. Yes, that’s part of it, but ……”
“But?”
“Would you believe me if I told you that I’m popular?”
“……”
What are you talking about out of the blue?
It’s not right to deny it here, but there’s no use in flattery.
“I’m sorry, but you don’t look like that.”
“I know, right? Of course not. I’m such a plain, dull, in-capable girl. There is no way I could look like that.”
I didn’t say that much, but …… don’t you think you’re being too down on yourself?
I don’t know what to say to her.
“We’re almost there, so I’ll go on ahead of you. I feel a little better now that you’ve listened to me.”
I found myself looking at the school.
After saying this, Mitani-san left.
“She didn’t look very refreshed, though.”
I was left alone and headed to my classroom.
The day passed equally whether I had problems or not.
Time passed quickly after our morning exchange.
On the way home from school. I decided to take a different route home once in a while. Somehow I came up with this idea, and I was near the river where I had jumped in to save Kurase before.
I like this kind of scenery in the countryside. Just walking along such a quiet scene, I could clear my mind to some extent.
It was when I was approaching the bridge.
＊＊＊
“Gone…..Gone! Not here….”
＊＊＊
“…..”
The future I can see again.
I see Mitani-san in the cold river, desperately searching for something.
There is more frustration on her face than when I saw the garbage dump.
And then there were the three female students peering at her from the bridge with a sickening smile on their faces. There was the girl named Miyano, whom I had seen skipping school with the two girls I had almost bumped into the other day.
◆
“Hey! Get out of the way!”
“……”
Today was not a very good day.
After I separated from senpai in the morning, I was fed up with being harassed all day by Miyano-san, who met me at the shoe box.
Apparently, she had a fight with her boyfriend and she was in a bad mood.
The reason why I know this is because I heard the usual three guys talking loudly, even though I didn’t like it.
The reason was that her boyfriend was cheating on her.
I was being harassed more than usual, perhaps because of the punishment I was spending my time thinking, “Suck it up,” on the inside.
She threw away my pencil box, made a mess of my lunch box, and so on. The contents were even worse than usual.
Perhaps it was because I hadn’t been streaming lately, but I was feeling more and more depressed.
“Look, if you’re frustrated, just yell for help and see.”
“Well, no one will help a dark, plain, incast like you…”
It’s really true. People around me are just looking at me being bullied around them.
I don’t need any help. As long as I could get some praise on the Internet, I could keep myself.
That’s what I thought.
But after the slanderous comments I received from fans before, I lost track of things. Since then, I have lost track of many things.
Am I the real me, the plain girl who is bullied at school?
Or is the popular person I am on the Internet the real me?
What was my normal self like?
What was I like in the past?
More and more, the gap between the real me and the online me was growing.
I didn’t just suffer from being bullied.
I wanted to start crying because I was being bullied, but online I had to act cheerful. I have to live up to everyone’s expectations.
But I also don’t want to be dark. I really want to be as cheerful and free as I am on the Internet.
But that’s not going to happen.
How can I escape from this pain?
My heart was at its limit, as there was nowhere to escape from both reality and the Internet.
“Hey, will you come home with me?”
“Great. Let’s have some fun at her expense!”
Why did I have to go through all this?
All I wanted was to be quiet and simple.
“Jimitani? Aren’t you responding to me at all?”
“Ignore me, you’re really getting on my nerves.”
“Please……”
“Haa? What?”
“……, please stop it!”
“What are you talking about?”
“I said please stop harassing me! ah ……”
I shouldn’t have said it.
In an instant, I regret my decision. I said unnecessary things because I was so emotional from thinking about it.
The expressions on the faces of the three girl were cold.
And then one of the three girl comes up to me.
—-I was hit ……!
That thought was short-lived.
The pain didn’t hit me. I just felt a slight tug on something.
“I heard that this is something important. Masashi.”
“Eh, what’s this, it’s in shreds!”
“Hey~. It’s so dirty, why don’t you throw it away somewhere?”
What the three of them were holding was a bear key chain that was supposed to be on my bag, but had been fixed by senpai.
“P-Please give it back!”
I pleaded desperately, but they held their hands up high and took it out of my reach.
And then,
“If it’s so important…”
“Please don’t! That’s…!”
“Come and get it!”
It was thrown from the bridge into the river, and fell without defying gravity.
“Aah, …….”
“Pfft, you’re really depressed.”
“It’s boring. Let’s go home.”
“Yeah, right. Let’s go to Nagahama.”
“Let’s do it, let’s do it!”
With that, the three of them went away.
I was standing there, in total darkness.
“Hey, Mitani san? Are you there?”
But then I heard a voice from under the bridge that I was not supposed to hear.
I hurriedly peeked under the bridge.
“S-Senpai?”
There, for some reason, was senpai clutching something precious to me.
