Chapter 59 - Sincere Apology Chapter 58 - Hostage Queen Chapter 57 - Affectionate King Chapter 56 - Igor’s Wish Chapter 55 - He Cares For You Chapter 54 - Basil Chapter 53 - Garden Check (19) Chapter 52 - Maidenhood Gone (19) Chapter 51 - Taste of Wine (19) Chapter 50 - Tradition Annulled Chapter 49 - Yearning Kiss Chapter 48 - You’re Beautiful Chapter 47 - Dimi Over You Chapter 46 - I’m Sorry, Rihannan Chapter 45 - The Truth Chapter 44 - Anastasia’s Daughter Chapter 43 - I Owe It to Her Chapter 42 - Igor’s Clumsiest Best Chapter 41 - Queen’s Palace Chapter 40 - Human Nature Chapter 39 - Igor’s Debt Chapter 38 - The Medicine Chapter 37 - Women Love Flowers Chapter 36 - Public Disgrace Chapter 35 - A Wife Who Does Not Love Chapter 34 - He Liked Her, After All Chapter 33 - Are You Crying? Chapter 32 - You’re My Wife, I’ll Protect You Chapter 31 - Mother's Grave Chapter 30 - Rihannan and Arundell Chapter 29 - Your Majesty, Please Get Out Chapter 28 - Suicidal Impulse Chapter 27 - Igor’s Regret Chapter 26 - But Divorce Me a Year Later Chapter 25 - Long Time No See Chapter 24 - I’ll Kill You Myself Chapter 23 - I’ll Be Alright Chapter 22 - A Favor Chapter 21 - Danil Lyurik Chapter 20 - A Future Worse Chapter 19 - Suffer the Same Fate Chapter 18 - New Man Chapter 17 - The Dream Chapter 16 - There Was a Time... Chapter 15 - Young King Chapter 14 - Years Later Chapter 13 - If She Did Her Job Properly… Chapter 12 - Of Chrichton Blood Chapter 11 - I Don’t Want To Marry Chapter 10 - Life In Her Belly Chapter 9 - Dimitri Priebius Chapter 8 - The First and Last Chapter 7 - Feared Queen Chapter 6 - Send Them Out Chapter 5 - Wanting His Love Chapter 4 - Get Out Chapter 3 - Hertia Cesca Chapter 2 - Loveless Marriage Chapter 1 - Golden Bird’s Feather
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Igor’s gaze softened and flickered for a fleeting moment, a glimmer of understanding shining in his eyes. “You mentioned something similar before, didn’t you? When did it happen? When did you start having difficulties with sleep?”
Rihannan mustered a bitter smile and replied, “It was six years ago… when my mother passed away.”
His solemn eyes locked onto her, and he reached out, his hand tenderly caressing her head.
“So, your struggles with sleep stem from that,” he spoke softly, his voice carrying a gentle reassurance. “Losing someone you hold dear would unsettle anyone, after all.”
“Yes,” she murmured.
But the truth was, her insomnia was more than just the loss of her mother. It was a relentless cycle of reliving the past. Rihannan had no intention of wallowing in self-pity or pointing fingers at others for the misfortunes she had endured, but it was undeniably difficult. Perhaps it was depression seeping into her soul. Thankfully, she had managed to find solace and mend her broken heart to some extent in Chrichton. Yet, when night fell, the memories of her mother’s death and its haunting final moments would replay over and over again.
Sleep eluded her, a challenging feat.
Whenever she closed her eyes, the chilling thought of ending up in that cold, dark prison cell loomed over her.
“You won’t be alone. I’ll be here with you. Relax and sleep, Rihannan,” Igor assured, lying down beside her and enveloping her in his warm embrace. His hand rhythmically soothing her back.
Rihannan nodded, but deep down, she wondered if she could truly find sleep in this state.
As she pondered further, a heavy sigh escaped her lips.
***
Restlessly shifting from side to side, her body eventually settled, emitting soft, calming breaths. Igor gradually opened his eyes and carefully maneuvered his body, ensuring not to disturb her, before rising from the bed.
Gazing down at his slumbering beauty, memories flooded his mind.
Flashback…
Days and nights blurred into meaninglessness, devoid of hope. Each passing day, he existed in this damned world, consumed by despair. Regret relentlessly gnawed at him, replaying his foolish actions over and over again. But that person, she would never return. She had passed on, forever beyond his reach.
Every morning, he awoke to a sense of hopelessness, his heart a black void. He lived and drowned in the depths of a dark abyss, devoid of escape. Her figure persisted, haunting him from the shadows, amplifying his remorse.
One day, he stumbled upon a golden feather among the belongings she left behind. Despite the passing years, the feather remained unchanged from his fleeting memories of her. He recognized the meticulous care she had bestowed upon it, and the knowledge that she had kept this feather with her shattered his already broken heart.
“Why… Rihannan,” he croaked, his voice a painful blend of tears and laughter. He resembled a madman, caught in the relentless cycle of bitterness. Eventually, exhaustion overcame him, and he fell into a restless slumber. In his dreams, he encountered a being, radiant with a halo of golden light. Its brilliance was blinding, and as he stood before it, he beheld a humanoid face atop the body of a crow. The being exuded an intense and unsettling aura.
Igor sensed a presence beyond the boundaries of human imitation.
Realization struck him; this being was Ataraxia. For the first time since her passing, a bright, joyous smile illuminated his lips. Even if it was merely an illusion, a fleeting
dream, he embraced this morsel of hope. He willingly offered his life and everything he possessed for this glimmer of a chance.
“Would you like to make a wish?” Ataraxia’s voice transcended human language, subtly weaving through his mind.
Igor wasted no time voicing his wish. He yearned to bring her back from the realm of the dead, to behold her once more, to be granted a second chance.
However, Ataraxia serenely shook its head.
“I, too, owe her a debt. She does not desire to be with you. I cannot grant that wish.”
Ataraxia’s words shattered Igor’s heart into a million fragments. This celestial being had bestowed upon him an opportunity to fulfill his lifelong longing through a wish, yet it couldn’t materialize as he had fervently hoped.
“Do you not have any other wish? This is your sole chance,” the merciless celestial being queried.
Igor raised his gaze.
Ataraxia’s vast, golden eyes remained devoid of emotion. Completely empty. It regarded Igor with blank, tranquil eyes. After a moment, it shook its head and began to drift away.
Ataraxia was departing.
Gritting his teeth, Igor spoke through clenched jaws, “Then turn back time…! I will be the one to change her sentiments towards me.”
“Time… yes. That is possible. At what point in time do you desire?”
“The time she desires.”
Whether it be the instant she consumed the poison or a time when she had no knowledge of his existence, it mattered not to him. As long as she breathed, as long as she existed… he would willingly traverse the ends of the Earth to mend her shattered and imprisoned heart.
He would ensure it.
“I understand. I will grant this wish of yours.”
With that, the illusory dream came to an end, and Igor awakened.
His eyes fluttered open, and he noticed that his body appeared much smaller than he remembered. Resting quietly on the bedside table was the golden feather. As he realized the current date, he hastened his journey to Count Allesin’s domain.
Nervous anticipation coursed through him.
What would he say to her? How would he introduce himself? Would she remember the cruel past they shared? Or perhaps she would possess no recollection of their previous lives…
Questions upon questions inundated his mind. Sleep had eluded him, and he had barely eaten. His thoughts were consumed by Rihannan, the beacon of his hope.
He rode his horse with utmost haste, yearning for the possibility that she remained oblivious… so that she could look upon him without resentment.
However, his hope shattered upon receiving news of her departure for Chrichton. It dawned on him abruptly that she, too, retained the memories of their past lives.
He sprinted towards the port, but he arrived a second too late.
In that moment, self-blame engulfed him. He had missed his one chance. If only he had moved a fraction faster, he might have caught her.
But now, upon reflection, he realized it was perhaps a blessing that she had embarked for Chrichton. If he had encountered her then, with her memories intact, their current bond would be unattainable. He was certain that her resentment toward him would persist, even until her final breath.
End of Flashback…
“Nnghh…”
Rihannan narrowed her eyes, her breath gentle and tranquil, occasionally quickening and turning harsh before returning to its relaxed rhythm. Igor leaned in, caressing her cheek, forehead, and temples with his thumb. Sleep evaded her, even when she managed to drift off, she tossed and turned restlessly.
***
“It appears that Her Majesty is afflicted with a fear of falling asleep,” the court doctor assigned to Rihannan’s case explained to the king of Arundell, shedding light on her chronic insomnia.
After ceasing the medication prescribed by a doctor in Chrichton, Rihannan was now taking the medications prescribed by the court doctor. Igor ensured that the doctor closely monitored her well-being. As a result, the doctor reported no physical health issues but identified a psychological barrier that had plagued her since her youth, leading to her development of insomnia.
“Your Majesty, this condition is typically seen in children who fall asleep with the belief that they might never awaken from their slumber. Consequently, they develop a fear of the night, an innate aspect of our existence. I cannot fathom why Her Majesty experiences a similar case as an adult,” the court doctor remarked with a furrowed brow. “Nevertheless, while I have attempted to alleviate her symptoms by prescribing calming remedies, completely eradicating her insomnia requires identifying the root cause, which falls within your responsibility, Your Majesty.”
Igor nodded, already aware of the true cause of her suffering. Rihannan attributed her troubles to her mother’s passing, but the truth lay in the depths of her past experiences and haunting memories.
The answer was evident.
For someone as delicate as her, who had returned from the brink of death, how could she not fear the darkness?
As he gazed at Rihannan sleeping, his eyes harbored a multitude of complex emotions.
He had used his one wish granted by Ataraxia to bring her back, to have her by his side out of his own selfish desires, and now, here she was…
If only he could make one more wish…
His hand descended slowly, coming to rest on her belly.
Bending down, he placed a tender kiss on her abdomen.
Desperately, he beseeched the heavenly beings above, yearning to regain the precious child they had lost in the distant past…
Volume Three End
Wedding Ceremony
Volume Four
Palace Ball
Within the bustling palace, numerous maids and butlers hurriedly attended to their assigned tasks. It was the day of the palace banquet, where the newly married king and queen, along with esteemed figures from Arundell and neighboring kingdoms, would partake in a grand ball.
The ballroom, adorned with vibrant and opulent decorations, brimmed with elegance. Eventually, the dulcet tones of instruments signaled the commencement of the ball, resonating from behind the massive curtain.
Moments later, an attendant emerged and began announcing the names of the nobles, from the highest to the lowest ranks, as they made their entrances punctually, one after another.
The once-empty ballroom gradually filled with the presence of warm bodies.
The nobility’s faces radiated smiles and curiosity as they exchanged greetings. They held diverse opinions and speculations about the central figures of the banquet—the king and his wife.
Their union had transpired differently, devoid of the traditional wedding ceremony that symbolized their bond. Consequently, the attendees harbored heightened interest in how they would conduct themselves, leading to a flurry of whispers and gossip concerning the newlywed monarchs.
“I heard that Duchess Cessley assumed the role of the Queen’s Matron of Honor.”
“That conceited duchess?”
“Yes, rumors suggest that she stood by Her Majesty’s
side throughout last month, assisting the Queen in her adjustment to palace life.”
“Hmm… She is the king’s closest advisor. It seems he genuinely cares about his wife, entrusting the Duchess with such a role.”
The nobles conversed, while the ladies fanned themselves.
“Nevertheless, she still remains a hostage in the end, doesn’t she?” The voice lowered slightly, accompanied by a sneering laugh.
Someone played devil’s advocate.
“If our relationship with Chrichton were to sour, what fate would befall the Queen? We cannot say.” The voice spoke again.
“But Her Majesty is the Queen Mother’s goddaughter, is she not? Surely, no harm would befall her. Speculation suggests that even if she had not moved to Chrichton and remained in Arundell, she would have ascended to the status of Queen much earlier.”
Chapter 59 - Sincere Apology Chapter 58 - Hostage Queen Chapter 57 - Affectionate King Chapter 56 - Igor’s Wish Chapter 55 - He Cares For You Chapter 54 - Basil Chapter 53 - Garden Check (19) Chapter 52 - Maidenhood Gone (19) Chapter 51 - Taste of Wine (19) Chapter 50 - Tradition Annulled Chapter 49 - Yearning Kiss Chapter 48 - You’re Beautiful Chapter 47 - Dimi Over You Chapter 46 - I’m Sorry, Rihannan Chapter 45 - The Truth Chapter 44 - Anastasia’s Daughter Chapter 43 - I Owe It to Her Chapter 42 - Igor’s Clumsiest Best Chapter 41 - Queen’s Palace Chapter 40 - Human Nature Chapter 39 - Igor’s Debt Chapter 38 - The Medicine Chapter 37 - Women Love Flowers Chapter 36 - Public Disgrace Chapter 35 - A Wife Who Does Not Love Chapter 34 - He Liked Her, After All Chapter 33 - Are You Crying? Chapter 32 - You’re My Wife, I’ll Protect You Chapter 31 - Mother's Grave Chapter 30 - Rihannan and Arundell Chapter 29 - Your Majesty, Please Get Out Chapter 28 - Suicidal Impulse Chapter 27 - Igor’s Regret Chapter 26 - But Divorce Me a Year Later Chapter 25 - Long Time No See Chapter 24 - I’ll Kill You Myself Chapter 23 - I’ll Be Alright Chapter 22 - A Favor Chapter 21 - Danil Lyurik Chapter 20 - A Future Worse Chapter 19 - Suffer the Same Fate Chapter 18 - New Man Chapter 17 - The Dream Chapter 16 - There Was a Time... Chapter 15 - Young King Chapter 14 - Years Later Chapter 13 - If She Did Her Job Properly… Chapter 12 - Of Chrichton Blood Chapter 11 - I Don’t Want To Marry Chapter 10 - Life In Her Belly Chapter 9 - Dimitri Priebius Chapter 8 - The First and Last Chapter 7 - Feared Queen Chapter 6 - Send Them Out Chapter 5 - Wanting His Love Chapter 4 - Get Out Chapter 3 - Hertia Cesca Chapter 2 - Loveless Marriage Chapter 1 - Golden Bird’s Feather
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Igor’s gaze softened and flickered for a fleeting moment, a glimmer of understanding shining in his eyes. “You mentioned something similar before, didn’t you? When did it happen? When did you start having difficulties with sleep?”
Rihannan mustered a bitter smile and replied, “It was six years ago… when my mother passed away.”
His solemn eyes locked onto her, and he reached out, his hand tenderly caressing her head.
“So, your struggles with sleep stem from that,” he spoke softly, his voice carrying a gentle reassurance. “Losing someone you hold dear would unsettle anyone, after all.”
“Yes,” she murmured.
But the truth was, her insomnia was more than just the loss of her mother. It was a relentless cycle of reliving the past. Rihannan had no intention of wallowing in self-pity or pointing fingers at others for the misfortunes she had endured, but it was undeniably difficult. Perhaps it was depression seeping into her soul. Thankfully, she had managed to find solace and mend her broken heart to some extent in Chrichton. Yet, when night fell, the memories of her mother’s death and its haunting final moments would replay over and over again.
Sleep eluded her, a challenging feat.
Whenever she closed her eyes, the chilling thought of ending up in that cold, dark prison cell loomed over her.
“You won’t be alone. I’ll be here with you. Relax and sleep, Rihannan,” Igor assured, lying down beside her and enveloping her in his warm embrace. His hand rhythmically soothing her back.
Rihannan nodded, but deep down, she wondered if she could truly find sleep in this state.
As she pondered further, a heavy sigh escaped her lips.
***
Restlessly shifting from side to side, her body eventually settled, emitting soft, calming breaths. Igor gradually opened his eyes and carefully maneuvered his body, ensuring not to disturb her, before rising from the bed.
Gazing down at his slumbering beauty, memories flooded his mind.
Flashback…
Days and nights blurred into meaninglessness, devoid of hope. Each passing day, he existed in this damned world, consumed by despair. Regret relentlessly gnawed at him, replaying his foolish actions over and over again. But that person, she would never return. She had passed on, forever beyond his reach.
Every morning, he awoke to a sense of hopelessness, his heart a black void. He lived and drowned in the depths of a dark abyss, devoid of escape. Her figure persisted, haunting him from the shadows, amplifying his remorse.
One day, he stumbled upon a golden feather among the belongings she left behind. Despite the passing years, the feather remained unchanged from his fleeting memories of her. He recognized the meticulous care she had bestowed upon it, and the knowledge that she had kept this feather with her shattered his already broken heart.
“Why… Rihannan,” he croaked, his voice a painful blend of tears and laughter. He resembled a madman, caught in the relentless cycle of bitterness. Eventually, exhaustion overcame him, and he fell into a restless slumber. In his dreams, he encountered a being, radiant with a halo of golden light. Its brilliance was blinding, and as he stood before it, he beheld a humanoid face atop the body of a crow. The being exuded an intense and unsettling aura.
Igor sensed a presence beyond the boundaries of human imitation.
Realization struck him; this being was Ataraxia. For the first time since her passing, a bright, joyous smile illuminated his lips. Even if it was merely an illusion, a fleeting
dream, he embraced this morsel of hope. He willingly offered his life and everything he possessed for this glimmer of a chance.
“Would you like to make a wish?” Ataraxia’s voice transcended human language, subtly weaving through his mind.
Igor wasted no time voicing his wish. He yearned to bring her back from the realm of the dead, to behold her once more, to be granted a second chance.
However, Ataraxia serenely shook its head.
“I, too, owe her a debt. She does not desire to be with you. I cannot grant that wish.”
Ataraxia’s words shattered Igor’s heart into a million fragments. This celestial being had bestowed upon him an opportunity to fulfill his lifelong longing through a wish, yet it couldn’t materialize as he had fervently hoped.
“Do you not have any other wish? This is your sole chance,” the merciless celestial being queried.
Igor raised his gaze.
Ataraxia’s vast, golden eyes remained devoid of emotion. Completely empty. It regarded Igor with blank, tranquil eyes. After a moment, it shook its head and began to drift away.
Ataraxia was departing.
Gritting his teeth, Igor spoke through clenched jaws, “Then turn back time…! I will be the one to change her sentiments towards me.”
“Time… yes. That is possible. At what point in time do you desire?”
“The time she desires.”
Whether it be the instant she consumed the poison or a time when she had no knowledge of his existence, it mattered not to him. As long as she breathed, as long as she existed… he would willingly traverse the ends of the Earth to mend her shattered and imprisoned heart.
He would ensure it.
“I understand. I will grant this wish of yours.”
With that, the illusory dream came to an end, and Igor awakened.
His eyes fluttered open, and he noticed that his body appeared much smaller than he remembered. Resting quietly on the bedside table was the golden feather. As he realized the current date, he hastened his journey to Count Allesin’s domain.
Nervous anticipation coursed through him.
What would he say to her? How would he introduce himself? Would she remember the cruel past they shared? Or perhaps she would possess no recollection of their previous lives…
Questions upon questions inundated his mind. Sleep had eluded him, and he had barely eaten. His thoughts were consumed by Rihannan, the beacon of his hope.
He rode his horse with utmost haste, yearning for the possibility that she remained oblivious… so that she could look upon him without resentment.
However, his hope shattered upon receiving news of her departure for Chrichton. It dawned on him abruptly that she, too, retained the memories of their past lives.
He sprinted towards the port, but he arrived a second too late.
In that moment, self-blame engulfed him. He had missed his one chance. If only he had moved a fraction faster, he might have caught her.
But now, upon reflection, he realized it was perhaps a blessing that she had embarked for Chrichton. If he had encountered her then, with her memories intact, their current bond would be unattainable. He was certain that her resentment toward him would persist, even until her final breath.
End of Flashback…
“Nnghh…”
Rihannan narrowed her eyes, her breath gentle and tranquil, occasionally quickening and turning harsh before returning to its relaxed rhythm. Igor leaned in, caressing her cheek, forehead, and temples with his thumb. Sleep evaded her, even when she managed to drift off, she tossed and turned restlessly.
***
“It appears that Her Majesty is afflicted with a fear of falling asleep,” the court doctor assigned to Rihannan’s case explained to the king of Arundell, shedding light on her chronic insomnia.
After ceasing the medication prescribed by a doctor in Chrichton, Rihannan was now taking the medications prescribed by the court doctor. Igor ensured that the doctor closely monitored her well-being. As a result, the doctor reported no physical health issues but identified a psychological barrier that had plagued her since her youth, leading to her development of insomnia.
“Your Majesty, this condition is typically seen in children who fall asleep with the belief that they might never awaken from their slumber. Consequently, they develop a fear of the night, an innate aspect of our existence. I cannot fathom why Her Majesty experiences a similar case as an adult,” the court doctor remarked with a furrowed brow. “Nevertheless, while I have attempted to alleviate her symptoms by prescribing calming remedies, completely eradicating her insomnia requires identifying the root cause, which falls within your responsibility, Your Majesty.”
Igor nodded, already aware of the true cause of her suffering. Rihannan attributed her troubles to her mother’s passing, but the truth lay in the depths of her past experiences and haunting memories.
The answer was evident.
For someone as delicate as her, who had returned from the brink of death, how could she not fear the darkness?
As he gazed at Rihannan sleeping, his eyes harbored a multitude of complex emotions.
He had used his one wish granted by Ataraxia to bring her back, to have her by his side out of his own selfish desires, and now, here she was…
If only he could make one more wish…
His hand descended slowly, coming to rest on her belly.
Bending down, he placed a tender kiss on her abdomen.
Desperately, he beseeched the heavenly beings above, yearning to regain the precious child they had lost in the distant past…
Volume Three End
Wedding Ceremony
Volume Four
Palace Ball
Within the bustling palace, numerous maids and butlers hurriedly attended to their assigned tasks. It was the day of the palace banquet, where the newly married king and queen, along with esteemed figures from Arundell and neighboring kingdoms, would partake in a grand ball.
The ballroom, adorned with vibrant and opulent decorations, brimmed with elegance. Eventually, the dulcet tones of instruments signaled the commencement of the ball, resonating from behind the massive curtain.
Moments later, an attendant emerged and began announcing the names of the nobles, from the highest to the lowest ranks, as they made their entrances punctually, one after another.
The once-empty ballroom gradually filled with the presence of warm bodies.
The nobility’s faces radiated smiles and curiosity as they exchanged greetings. They held diverse opinions and speculations about the central figures of the banquet—the king and his wife.
Their union had transpired differently, devoid of the traditional wedding ceremony that symbolized their bond. Consequently, the attendees harbored heightened interest in how they would conduct themselves, leading to a flurry of whispers and gossip concerning the newlywed monarchs.
“I heard that Duchess Cessley assumed the role of the Queen’s Matron of Honor.”
“That conceited duchess?”
“Yes, rumors suggest that she stood by Her Majesty’s
side throughout last month, assisting the Queen in her adjustment to palace life.”
“Hmm… She is the king’s closest advisor. It seems he genuinely cares about his wife, entrusting the Duchess with such a role.”
The nobles conversed, while the ladies fanned themselves.
“Nevertheless, she still remains a hostage in the end, doesn’t she?” The voice lowered slightly, accompanied by a sneering laugh.
Someone played devil’s advocate.
“If our relationship with Chrichton were to sour, what fate would befall the Queen? We cannot say.” The voice spoke again.
“But Her Majesty is the Queen Mother’s goddaughter, is she not? Surely, no harm would befall her. Speculation suggests that even if she had not moved to Chrichton and remained in Arundell, she would have ascended to the status of Queen much earlier.”
