Chapter 47: true feelings...
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As soon as I entered the staff room, I told Mr. Akakusa that I wanted to see him.
The place was the student guidance room. I was nervous for nothing because it was a place that I had never been to before, and I had never done anything wrong.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude.
It's okay. I know what to expect.
Did you notice the change in Alina during the fashion show?
'Of course.
I told him about my conversation with the other Alina after the fashion show. We both insisted that we were not our basic personalities, that we both wanted to disappear for the other, that we both had memory lapses. I told him about Alina in detail. The teacher listened attentively to me throughout the conversation.
Finally, I told him.
I said, 'I think you should take Alina to the hospital. My involvement is clearly a bad influence. I think it would definitely be in her best interest to get the proper treatment.
'I recommended it, too. But you know what, she doesn't want to. Once I said to her, 'This is between me and the other me. I don't want her to play around with it.
'Am I going to be an exception?'
Dr. Akakusa took a breath and made an unnatural pause.
'...... this is a secret, okay?'
'I'm curious.'
'You really mustn't talk about it. Can you keep it?'
'I will protect you. I will protect you.
'Actually, the other Alina asked me to do it. The other Alina asked me to help her find a good partner for her.
''What--didn't Dr. Akakusa make this decision on his own?
''Yes. Because he asked me to. And I thought that comet was the one who had the aptitude for it, so I dragged him to the library that day.
It was not on Mr. Akakusa's whim, but on Alina's request that Alina and I were meant to meet.
But gentle Alina said to me, 'That's enough. The tongue-in-cheek Alina is back to square one. From scratch. Back to the girl reading in the library.
That may be bliss for Alina. But the first time I saw her, she looked like she was lashing out to drown her sorrows.
That's why I don't want her to come back. I don't want to see her trying too hard, wrinkling her brow, and making herself hated by herself. I want you to be like a pretty blooming rose.
What should I do?
'Look me squarely in the eye and talk to me. I'm sure Alina will tell you how she really feels. I can't help you now. You and Alina will find a way. I know it's a bit much to ask, but you need Comet. I'm sure of it.
'What makes you say that?'
'It's a woman's intuition.
'Is that a definitive line at this point in time? ......'
'But you know, it's very important to have a feeling that cannot be expressed in words. I think it's the truth. You are a special person to Alina. I know it by feeling, by intuition. I'm sure of it. So trust yourself and Alina.
I found it strangely persuasive, and I didn't want to argue. I guess that's what you call "feeling.
Every time I interacted with Alina, I felt uneasy. Vaguely uneasy. And somewhere in the back of my mind, a vague concern asked me.
What are you doing?
After school came quickly.
I had originally planned to talk to Mr. Akakusa after school. But I remembered that he had complained about overtime work before, so I decided to talk to him during lunch break. So he told Alina in advance that there was nothing going to happen today.
But she will be in the rose garden.
'Comet.
'What's the matter, horse?
'I'm not wearing it anymore. I feel like Ryuka has been approaching me a lot lately.'
''Congratulations.''
'Could it be that? That's the thing, right?''
Yes, that's it.
'Do you think I--maybe you like me ......?'
'Yes, that's it.
Woowowowowowowowowowowow!
I wonder if I have fulfilled Ryuka's request.
Ryuka, who is aware of her ladylike nature, was unable to take the step of 'having a chat with Makoto' and asked for my help.
I wonder how it turned out. I look around the classroom for Ryuka. There she is. She was making a small good sign with her thumbs up. I gave a thumbs-up in response. I gave a thumbs-up in response, so that Makoto wouldn't notice.
I don't know if Makoto has feelings for Ryuka. If she does, it would be the perfect setting for Ryuka. Should we casually ask her? No, it's none of your business. Anything more would be bad for Makoto and Ryuka.
Comet. Can I count on you for this?
'It's good, isn't it? I wish you happiness.
'Aah! And the comet!
'I'm single for the rest of my life.'
As I left the classroom, I gave Ryuta the good sign again with both hands.
Good luck. You'll be fine.
Thank you.
We talked telepathically.
Ryuka gave a small salute. Really ladylike.
As soon as she left the classroom, the crane caught her next. I was so slow that I wondered if this school had an organized plan to keep me from going to the Rose Garden.
Wait for the comet!
'You're the top-brained gal in your grade. What's up?
There's a strange rumor going around!
Don't say it, don't say it. I'm not dating anyone.
No, I don't care about Comet's love life. There's a theory going around that there's a 'phantom Arina Hibane,' you know?
'Legendary Pok mon, huh?'
'I'm talking about Alina, who no one has ever seen before, showing up at a fashion show! Comet was there, too!
'Uh ......'
That's what happens when personalities are switched. It must have been strange for those who did not know what was going on. Especially for the models who appeared with them. Alina returned from the stage with the opposite personality.
'Maybe it's because I was nervous?
'But you were clearly a different level of person.
'Mm. Well, it's an illusion.
'Yes, illusion!
Tsuru is stern and frustrated. He reads my ambiguous answer and is suspicious.
'That's what I heard, too.
Hakuna jumped in from the side. I feel like I haven't talked to her in a few years. It had been awkward for both of us since the "confession from the past," but Shirana was already relaxed.
But I was still upset.
What is it with you two?
Did Shirana ask you too?''
'Yeah. Alina-san became a different person.
'Yes, yes! Hey, comet. You know something, don't you? Tell me. I saw it too!
'I'm Alina, not a broadsheet. It's possible that we're mistaken.
The disgruntled looks grew again.
For the first time in my life, I realized I'm not very good at lying. I have no choice but to run away.
Oh, shit. We have to save the earth.
'What are you talking about?
'We're in trouble. We have to save the Earth. We have to slow the rate of expansion before the universe cracks open.
'You're crazy.
'Call it what you will. So I must walk to save the Earth. I don't have time for hallway chatter. Come on, girl. Each of you make the most of your after-school hours.
I ran before I saw their reactions. I felt the setting sun pushing me back.
I shouldn't run in the hallway, but I had to. To protect Alina's situation. It's a price I can live with, even if it means a negative impact on my attitude. You should be grateful, tongue rose.
Please don't call me names.
Why are you here, you filth?
That's what I was told as soon as I entered the rose garden.
He said "filth," directly to me.
Go to the bathroom. Flush it with the big one. It's easier to flush when you're sitting on the floor.
'It's a horror movie now.
Sure enough, there was Alina in the rose garden. She was reading a book surrounded by flowers. She did not say so, but she seemed to like this space very much.
'You. I thought you didn't have anything going on today?
'I had to take care of something urgent.'
'For me?'
''Yes.''
Alina raised an eyebrow. I got the third frustrated look of the day.
I sat down in front of Alina across the desk from her. Alina looked uncomfortable, crossed her legs and turned her body at an angle, but I remained facing her and began to talk.
'I talked to the other you at the festival.
'I heard and I know.'
'And I wasn't sure if it would be a good idea for Alina to get involved with me.
''So''
'You and the other Alina both think of yourselves as personalities that arose in the course of your lives. So I don't know, anymore. I don't know who to save. Or what salvation is in the first place. What does Alina want? What is the right path for Alina.
To be honest, I think I'm a cancer to her. I don't think it's going in the right direction. I can't--I can't explain it. But I really don't know.
Alina listened silently. She did not scoff or get angry, but simply listened with a calm expression on her face.
It doesn't matter. You're here for a reason.
Words I never thought I'd hear. Surprised by that, my brain stopped thinking.
'I am ...... a lonely woman. I'm a messy woman who holds on to painful memories and feelings. The past binds me and messes me up. So many things I don't remember. I look at my albums and they don't ring a bell, and at first my family seems like strangers to me.
I don't understand the context. And I couldn't keep up with it.
Alina was in tears. I felt like a wall had been broken. Her tears hit me so hard.
'I was bullied.
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
As soon as I entered the staff room, I told Mr. Akakusa that I wanted to see him.
The place was the student guidance room. I was nervous for nothing because it was a place that I had never been to before, and I had never done anything wrong.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude.
It's okay. I know what to expect.
Did you notice the change in Alina during the fashion show?
'Of course.
I told him about my conversation with the other Alina after the fashion show. We both insisted that we were not our basic personalities, that we both wanted to disappear for the other, that we both had memory lapses. I told him about Alina in detail. The teacher listened attentively to me throughout the conversation.
Finally, I told him.
I said, 'I think you should take Alina to the hospital. My involvement is clearly a bad influence. I think it would definitely be in her best interest to get the proper treatment.
'I recommended it, too. But you know what, she doesn't want to. Once I said to her, 'This is between me and the other me. I don't want her to play around with it.
'Am I going to be an exception?'
Dr. Akakusa took a breath and made an unnatural pause.
'...... this is a secret, okay?'
'I'm curious.'
'You really mustn't talk about it. Can you keep it?'
'I will protect you. I will protect you.
'Actually, the other Alina asked me to do it. The other Alina asked me to help her find a good partner for her.
''What--didn't Dr. Akakusa make this decision on his own?
''Yes. Because he asked me to. And I thought that comet was the one who had the aptitude for it, so I dragged him to the library that day.
It was not on Mr. Akakusa's whim, but on Alina's request that Alina and I were meant to meet.
But gentle Alina said to me, 'That's enough. The tongue-in-cheek Alina is back to square one. From scratch. Back to the girl reading in the library.
That may be bliss for Alina. But the first time I saw her, she looked like she was lashing out to drown her sorrows.
That's why I don't want her to come back. I don't want to see her trying too hard, wrinkling her brow, and making herself hated by herself. I want you to be like a pretty blooming rose.
What should I do?
'Look me squarely in the eye and talk to me. I'm sure Alina will tell you how she really feels. I can't help you now. You and Alina will find a way. I know it's a bit much to ask, but you need Comet. I'm sure of it.
'What makes you say that?'
'It's a woman's intuition.
'Is that a definitive line at this point in time? ......'
'But you know, it's very important to have a feeling that cannot be expressed in words. I think it's the truth. You are a special person to Alina. I know it by feeling, by intuition. I'm sure of it. So trust yourself and Alina.
I found it strangely persuasive, and I didn't want to argue. I guess that's what you call "feeling.
Every time I interacted with Alina, I felt uneasy. Vaguely uneasy. And somewhere in the back of my mind, a vague concern asked me.
What are you doing?
After school came quickly.
I had originally planned to talk to Mr. Akakusa after school. But I remembered that he had complained about overtime work before, so I decided to talk to him during lunch break. So he told Alina in advance that there was nothing going to happen today.
But she will be in the rose garden.
'Comet.
'What's the matter, horse?
'I'm not wearing it anymore. I feel like Ryuka has been approaching me a lot lately.'
''Congratulations.''
'Could it be that? That's the thing, right?''
Yes, that's it.
'Do you think I--maybe you like me ......?'
'Yes, that's it.
Woowowowowowowowowowowow!
I wonder if I have fulfilled Ryuka's request.
Ryuka, who is aware of her ladylike nature, was unable to take the step of 'having a chat with Makoto' and asked for my help.
I wonder how it turned out. I look around the classroom for Ryuka. There she is. She was making a small good sign with her thumbs up. I gave a thumbs-up in response. I gave a thumbs-up in response, so that Makoto wouldn't notice.
I don't know if Makoto has feelings for Ryuka. If she does, it would be the perfect setting for Ryuka. Should we casually ask her? No, it's none of your business. Anything more would be bad for Makoto and Ryuka.
Comet. Can I count on you for this?
'It's good, isn't it? I wish you happiness.
'Aah! And the comet!
'I'm single for the rest of my life.'
As I left the classroom, I gave Ryuta the good sign again with both hands.
Good luck. You'll be fine.
Thank you.
We talked telepathically.
Ryuka gave a small salute. Really ladylike.
As soon as she left the classroom, the crane caught her next. I was so slow that I wondered if this school had an organized plan to keep me from going to the Rose Garden.
Wait for the comet!
'You're the top-brained gal in your grade. What's up?
There's a strange rumor going around!
Don't say it, don't say it. I'm not dating anyone.
No, I don't care about Comet's love life. There's a theory going around that there's a 'phantom Arina Hibane,' you know?
'Legendary Pok mon, huh?'
'I'm talking about Alina, who no one has ever seen before, showing up at a fashion show! Comet was there, too!
'Uh ......'
That's what happens when personalities are switched. It must have been strange for those who did not know what was going on. Especially for the models who appeared with them. Alina returned from the stage with the opposite personality.
'Maybe it's because I was nervous?
'But you were clearly a different level of person.
'Mm. Well, it's an illusion.
'Yes, illusion!
Tsuru is stern and frustrated. He reads my ambiguous answer and is suspicious.
'That's what I heard, too.
Hakuna jumped in from the side. I feel like I haven't talked to her in a few years. It had been awkward for both of us since the "confession from the past," but Shirana was already relaxed.
But I was still upset.
What is it with you two?
Did Shirana ask you too?''
'Yeah. Alina-san became a different person.
'Yes, yes! Hey, comet. You know something, don't you? Tell me. I saw it too!
'I'm Alina, not a broadsheet. It's possible that we're mistaken.
The disgruntled looks grew again.
For the first time in my life, I realized I'm not very good at lying. I have no choice but to run away.
Oh, shit. We have to save the earth.
'What are you talking about?
'We're in trouble. We have to save the Earth. We have to slow the rate of expansion before the universe cracks open.
'You're crazy.
'Call it what you will. So I must walk to save the Earth. I don't have time for hallway chatter. Come on, girl. Each of you make the most of your after-school hours.
I ran before I saw their reactions. I felt the setting sun pushing me back.
I shouldn't run in the hallway, but I had to. To protect Alina's situation. It's a price I can live with, even if it means a negative impact on my attitude. You should be grateful, tongue rose.
Please don't call me names.
Why are you here, you filth?
That's what I was told as soon as I entered the rose garden.
He said "filth," directly to me.
Go to the bathroom. Flush it with the big one. It's easier to flush when you're sitting on the floor.
'It's a horror movie now.
Sure enough, there was Alina in the rose garden. She was reading a book surrounded by flowers. She did not say so, but she seemed to like this space very much.
'You. I thought you didn't have anything going on today?
'I had to take care of something urgent.'
'For me?'
''Yes.''
Alina raised an eyebrow. I got the third frustrated look of the day.
I sat down in front of Alina across the desk from her. Alina looked uncomfortable, crossed her legs and turned her body at an angle, but I remained facing her and began to talk.
'I talked to the other you at the festival.
'I heard and I know.'
'And I wasn't sure if it would be a good idea for Alina to get involved with me.
''So''
'You and the other Alina both think of yourselves as personalities that arose in the course of your lives. So I don't know, anymore. I don't know who to save. Or what salvation is in the first place. What does Alina want? What is the right path for Alina.
To be honest, I think I'm a cancer to her. I don't think it's going in the right direction. I can't--I can't explain it. But I really don't know.
Alina listened silently. She did not scoff or get angry, but simply listened with a calm expression on her face.
It doesn't matter. You're here for a reason.
Words I never thought I'd hear. Surprised by that, my brain stopped thinking.
'I am ...... a lonely woman. I'm a messy woman who holds on to painful memories and feelings. The past binds me and messes me up. So many things I don't remember. I look at my albums and they don't ring a bell, and at first my family seems like strangers to me.
I don't understand the context. And I couldn't keep up with it.
Alina was in tears. I felt like a wall had been broken. Her tears hit me so hard.
'I was bullied.
As soon as I entered the staff room, I told Mr. Akakusa that I wanted to see him.The place was the student guidance room. I was nervous for nothing because it was a place that I had never been to before, and I had never done anything wrong.I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude.It's okay. I know what to expect.Did you notice the change in Alina during the fashion show?'Of course.I told him about my conversation with the other Alina after the fashion show. We both insisted that we were not our basic personalities, that we both wanted to disappear for the other, that we both had memory lapses. I told him about Alina in detail. The teacher listened attentively to me throughout the conversation.Finally, I told him.I said, 'I think you should take Alina to the hospital. My involvement is clearly a bad influence. I think it would definitely be in her best interest to get the proper treatment.'I recommended it, too. But you know what, she doesn't want to. Once I said to her, 'This is between me and the other me. I don't want her to play around with it.'Am I going to be an exception?'Dr. Akakusa took a breath and made an unnatural pause.'...... this is a secret, okay?''I'm curious.''You really mustn't talk about it. Can you keep it?''I will protect you. I will protect you.'Actually, the other Alina asked me to do it. The other Alina asked me to help her find a good partner for her.''What--didn't Dr. Akakusa make this decision on his own?''Yes. Because he asked me to. And I thought that comet was the one who had the aptitude for it, so I dragged him to the library that day.It was not on Mr. Akakusa's whim, but on Alina's request that Alina and I were meant to meet.But gentle Alina said to me, 'That's enough. The tongue-in-cheek Alina is back to square one. From scratch. Back to the girl reading in the library.That may be bliss for Alina. But the first time I saw her, she looked like she was lashing out to drown her sorrows.That's why I don't want her to come back. I don't want to see her trying too hard, wrinkling her brow, and making herself hated by herself. I want you to be like a pretty blooming rose.What should I do?'Look me squarely in the eye and talk to me. I'm sure Alina will tell you how she really feels. I can't help you now. You and Alina will find a way. I know it's a bit much to ask, but you need Comet. I'm sure of it.'What makes you say that?''It's a woman's intuition.'Is that a definitive line at this point in time? ......''But you know, it's very important to have a feeling that cannot be expressed in words. I think it's the truth. You are a special person to Alina. I know it by feeling, by intuition. I'm sure of it. So trust yourself and Alina.I found it strangely persuasive, and I didn't want to argue. I guess that's what you call "feeling.Every time I interacted with Alina, I felt uneasy. Vaguely uneasy. And somewhere in the back of my mind, a vague concern asked me.What are you doing?After school came quickly.I had originally planned to talk to Mr. Akakusa after school. But I remembered that he had complained about overtime work before, so I decided to talk to him during lunch break. So he told Alina in advance that there was nothing going to happen today.But she will be in the rose garden.'Comet.'What's the matter, horse?'I'm not wearing it anymore. I feel like Ryuka has been approaching me a lot lately.'''Congratulations.'''Could it be that? That's the thing, right?''Yes, that's it.'Do you think I--maybe you like me ......?''Yes, that's it.Woowowowowowowowowowowow!I wonder if I have fulfilled Ryuka's request.Ryuka, who is aware of her ladylike nature, was unable to take the step of 'having a chat with Makoto' and asked for my help.I wonder how it turned out. I look around the classroom for Ryuka. There she is. She was making a small good sign with her thumbs up. I gave a thumbs-up in response. I gave a thumbs-up in response, so that Makoto wouldn't notice.I don't know if Makoto has feelings for Ryuka. If she does, it would be the perfect setting for Ryuka. Should we casually ask her? No, it's none of your business. Anything more would be bad for Makoto and Ryuka.Comet. Can I count on you for this?'It's good, isn't it? I wish you happiness.'Aah! And the comet!'I'm single for the rest of my life.'As I left the classroom, I gave Ryuta the good sign again with both hands.Good luck. You'll be fine.Thank you.We talked telepathically.Ryuka gave a small salute. Really ladylike.As soon as she left the classroom, the crane caught her next. I was so slow that I wondered if this school had an organized plan to keep me from going to the Rose Garden.Wait for the comet!'You're the top-brained gal in your grade. What's up?There's a strange rumor going around!Don't say it, don't say it. I'm not dating anyone.No, I don't care about Comet's love life. There's a theory going around that there's a 'phantom Arina Hibane,' you know?'Legendary Pok mon, huh?''I'm talking about Alina, who no one has ever seen before, showing up at a fashion show! Comet was there, too!'Uh ......'That's what happens when personalities are switched. It must have been strange for those who did not know what was going on. Especially for the models who appeared with them. Alina returned from the stage with the opposite personality.'Maybe it's because I was nervous?'But you were clearly a different level of person.'Mm. Well, it's an illusion.'Yes, illusion!Tsuru is stern and frustrated. He reads my ambiguous answer and is suspicious.'That's what I heard, too.Hakuna jumped in from the side. I feel like I haven't talked to her in a few years. It had been awkward for both of us since the "confession from the past," but Shirana was already relaxed.But I was still upset.What is it with you two?Did Shirana ask you too?'''Yeah. Alina-san became a different person.'Yes, yes! Hey, comet. You know something, don't you? Tell me. I saw it too!'I'm Alina, not a broadsheet. It's possible that we're mistaken.The disgruntled looks grew again.For the first time in my life, I realized I'm not very good at lying. I have no choice but to run away.Oh, shit. We have to save the earth.'What are you talking about?'We're in trouble. We have to save the Earth. We have to slow the rate of expansion before the universe cracks open.'You're crazy.'Call it what you will. So I must walk to save the Earth. I don't have time for hallway chatter. Come on, girl. Each of you make the most of your after-school hours.I ran before I saw their reactions. I felt the setting sun pushing me back.I shouldn't run in the hallway, but I had to. To protect Alina's situation. It's a price I can live with, even if it means a negative impact on my attitude. You should be grateful, tongue rose.Please don't call me names.Why are you here, you filth?That's what I was told as soon as I entered the rose garden.He said "filth," directly to me.Go to the bathroom. Flush it with the big one. It's easier to flush when you're sitting on the floor.'It's a horror movie now.Sure enough, there was Alina in the rose garden. She was reading a book surrounded by flowers. She did not say so, but she seemed to like this space very much.'You. I thought you didn't have anything going on today?'I had to take care of something urgent.''For me?'''Yes.''Alina raised an eyebrow. I got the third frustrated look of the day.I sat down in front of Alina across the desk from her. Alina looked uncomfortable, crossed her legs and turned her body at an angle, but I remained facing her and began to talk.'I talked to the other you at the festival.'I heard and I know.''And I wasn't sure if it would be a good idea for Alina to get involved with me.''So'''You and the other Alina both think of yourselves as personalities that arose in the course of your lives. So I don't know, anymore. I don't know who to save. Or what salvation is in the first place. What does Alina want? What is the right path for Alina.To be honest, I think I'm a cancer to her. I don't think it's going in the right direction. I can't--I can't explain it. But I really don't know.Alina listened silently. She did not scoff or get angry, but simply listened with a calm expression on her face.It doesn't matter. You're here for a reason.Words I never thought I'd hear. Surprised by that, my brain stopped thinking.'I am ...... a lonely woman. I'm a messy woman who holds on to painful memories and feelings. The past binds me and messes me up. So many things I don't remember. I look at my albums and they don't ring a bell, and at first my family seems like strangers to me.I don't understand the context. And I couldn't keep up with it.Alina was in tears. I felt like a wall had been broken. Her tears hit me so hard.'I was bullied.
