For me, it was a rare moment of relaxation and visual pleasure, but Paula fell silent for a while in an unfamiliar situation before saying, “Anyway, Lorraine will be on probation for a while. Alright then, I’ll come back later.”
With that, she left the room as if running away.
I sighed and thought to myself that I had returned again. At the same time, I felt that I was still happy.
As I watched Paula leave, Jeremiah moved.
He quickly sat down where Paula had been sitting and placed his hand on top of mine, which was still touching my cheek.
“Did it hurt?”
“Uh, no…I’m fine.”
I almost recoiled from his closeness but managed to hold back. Jeremiah was worried about me. It would be bad if I ran away.
I thought so, but being this close was really bad for my heart.
“I think Nee-san has been frustrated for a while. She couldn’t move because Duke begged her not to go out since it’s dangerous outside…”
“I think that’s for the best.”
I didn’t want anyone to be in danger. Even so, Jeremiah must have been moving around knowing the risks.
“…Um, I’m sorry. I caused you trouble.”
“No, I’m just glad you’re safe. Besides, I didn’t do much. It was all His Highness who found that place and prepared for the attack. I just asked to be taken along because I thought you might be there.”
With a voice tinged with regret, Jeremiah spoke about what had happened up until then. I said to him,
“That’s enough… When I saw Jeremiah there, I was really surprised and even more happy.”
I had seriously considered something that I wouldn’t normally think about, fearing that he would be disgusted and cut me off.
In aristocratic society, appearances are very important, and lies and disguises are sometimes a part of everyday life. Even if the individuals themselves feel differently, they can succumb to pressure from their surroundings.
But he searched for me.
He searched for me and came all the way here.
Realizing this made my heart warm up all at once, and I felt sorry and incredibly happy beyond words.
“I see, then it was worth the effort.”
“Of course!”
I emphasized that point.
Then Jeremiah came even closer. Before I knew it, he was hugging me.
“I thought about what I would do if I couldn’t see you anymore.”
The voice whispering in my ear was calm, but it had a hint of sadness, and for a moment, I was at a loss for words.
“…I’m sorry.”
In the end, only the words of a typical apology came out. Even so, if it could calm his feelings even a little, I thought I would say it as many times as necessary.
That’s all I can do.
I put my hand around Jeremiah’s back and waited for his next words.
For a while, time passed like that without him saying anything. We’ve never been like this for so long before.
The sound of my heartbeat was incredibly loud.
——I, I want him to say something.
Even if I thought that, Jeremiah only occasionally changed the position of his hand and didn’t open his mouth easily.
If that’s the case, maybe he just wants to be like this. If so, it would be bad to ask him to do something else. After all, I caused him a lot of trouble. I have to endure this much.
As I thought about it, the sound of my heartbeat became louder and louder.
I feel like my whole body has become my heart. My consciousness is starting to fade. This is bad. Feeling that way, I opened my mouth hesitantly.
“U-um, um, Jeremiah?”
“Hmm?”
When I called out to him, he moved his body slightly away so that I could see his face. But even so, he was still too close, and my palpitations didn’t settle down.
Somehow, I feel like I haven’t been able to gaze at Jeremiah’s face much. It’s all because of my heart, but it’s such a waste.
We can be together like this, after all.
While thinking that, I deliberately looked straight at his face and said,
“Um, well, I’m really sorry. I’ll do anything I can to make it up to you for causing you so much trouble.”
Jeremiah looked surprised.
I praised myself inwardly for being able to say it properly. My heart is pounding, but I should have conveyed my apology with this.
Then Jeremiah said, “Oh.”
He looked at me and smiled instead of the surprised expression he had before.
Did I say something strange? I have a bad feeling about this…
“Anything, huh? I’ll remember that. But let’s stop for today. You should rest a little more.”
“I slept well, so I’m not tired anymore.”
“Still, you need to rest. I’ll be with you all day.”
Jeremiah was stubborn, but I nodded along, thinking that I wasn’t that tired.
Just a moment ago, I said I would do anything.
“Okay. I’ll do it.”
“Good. Shall we have a meal or have it brought to us?”
“Yes.”
I nodded, and finally Jeremiah left. His weight and body heat disappeared, and I felt a little lonely.
Still, he was nearby.
Compared to when I thought I had lost him, it was nothing. Besides, considering those who had lost more than me, how fortunate my current situation was.
I thought about my fellow memory holders for a moment. I hoped they were being treated properly, but I still worried about them.
It would be impossible to know about them right away, but I wanted to learn more about them.
Watching Jeremiah call for a servant, I thought so.
For me, it was a rare moment of relaxation and visual pleasure, but Paula fell silent for a while in an unfamiliar situation before saying, “Anyway, Lorraine will be on probation for a while. Alright then, I’ll come back later.”
With that, she left the room as if running away.
I sighed and thought to myself that I had returned again. At the same time, I felt that I was still happy.
As I watched Paula leave, Jeremiah moved.
He quickly sat down where Paula had been sitting and placed his hand on top of mine, which was still touching my cheek.
“Did it hurt?”
“Uh, no…I’m fine.”
I almost recoiled from his closeness but managed to hold back. Jeremiah was worried about me. It would be bad if I ran away.
I thought so, but being this close was really bad for my heart.
“I think Nee-san has been frustrated for a while. She couldn’t move because Duke begged her not to go out since it’s dangerous outside…”
“I think that’s for the best.”
I didn’t want anyone to be in danger. Even so, Jeremiah must have been moving around knowing the risks.
“…Um, I’m sorry. I caused you trouble.”
“No, I’m just glad you’re safe. Besides, I didn’t do much. It was all His Highness who found that place and prepared for the attack. I just asked to be taken along because I thought you might be there.”
With a voice tinged with regret, Jeremiah spoke about what had happened up until then. I said to him,
“That’s enough… When I saw Jeremiah there, I was really surprised and even more happy.”
I had seriously considered something that I wouldn’t normally think about, fearing that he would be disgusted and cut me off.
In aristocratic society, appearances are very important, and lies and disguises are sometimes a part of everyday life. Even if the individuals themselves feel differently, they can succumb to pressure from their surroundings.
But he searched for me.
He searched for me and came all the way here.
Realizing this made my heart warm up all at once, and I felt sorry and incredibly happy beyond words.
“I see, then it was worth the effort.”
“Of course!”
I emphasized that point.
Then Jeremiah came even closer. Before I knew it, he was hugging me.
“I thought about what I would do if I couldn’t see you anymore.”
The voice whispering in my ear was calm, but it had a hint of sadness, and for a moment, I was at a loss for words.
“…I’m sorry.”
In the end, only the words of a typical apology came out. Even so, if it could calm his feelings even a little, I thought I would say it as many times as necessary.
That’s all I can do.
I put my hand around Jeremiah’s back and waited for his next words.
For a while, time passed like that without him saying anything. We’ve never been like this for so long before.
The sound of my heartbeat was incredibly loud.
——I, I want him to say something.
Even if I thought that, Jeremiah only occasionally changed the position of his hand and didn’t open his mouth easily.
If that’s the case, maybe he just wants to be like this. If so, it would be bad to ask him to do something else. After all, I caused him a lot of trouble. I have to endure this much.
As I thought about it, the sound of my heartbeat became louder and louder.
I feel like my whole body has become my heart. My consciousness is starting to fade. This is bad. Feeling that way, I opened my mouth hesitantly.
“U-um, um, Jeremiah?”
“Hmm?”
When I called out to him, he moved his body slightly away so that I could see his face. But even so, he was still too close, and my palpitations didn’t settle down.
Somehow, I feel like I haven’t been able to gaze at Jeremiah’s face much. It’s all because of my heart, but it’s such a waste.
We can be together like this, after all.
While thinking that, I deliberately looked straight at his face and said,
“Um, well, I’m really sorry. I’ll do anything I can to make it up to you for causing you so much trouble.”
Jeremiah looked surprised.
I praised myself inwardly for being able to say it properly. My heart is pounding, but I should have conveyed my apology with this.
Then Jeremiah said, “Oh.”
He looked at me and smiled instead of the surprised expression he had before.
Did I say something strange? I have a bad feeling about this…
“Anything, huh? I’ll remember that. But let’s stop for today. You should rest a little more.”
“I slept well, so I’m not tired anymore.”
“Still, you need to rest. I’ll be with you all day.”
Jeremiah was stubborn, but I nodded along, thinking that I wasn’t that tired.
Just a moment ago, I said I would do anything.
“Okay. I’ll do it.”
“Good. Shall we have a meal or have it brought to us?”
“Yes.”
I nodded, and finally Jeremiah left. His weight and body heat disappeared, and I felt a little lonely.
Still, he was nearby.
Compared to when I thought I had lost him, it was nothing. Besides, considering those who had lost more than me, how fortunate my current situation was.
I thought about my fellow memory holders for a moment. I hoped they were being treated properly, but I still worried about them.
It would be impossible to know about them right away, but I wanted to learn more about them.
Watching Jeremiah call for a servant, I thought so.
