“Thank you. I would be happy to ask for your help again.”
Dennis breathed a sigh of relief and her face lit up. Her softness oozed out, and she didn’t seem scary at all.
And I looked at the contents of the cup and thought to myself.
She really has a woman’s perspective, making flower tea for me when I’m tired.
Although she is strong and tends to forget, I feel more familiar with her than usual. I couldn’t help but smile.
“I’m really grateful to have Dennis around.”
I muttered what I was thinking.
Looking at it this way, I think everyone around me is amazing. Even Dora has a sense of recognition that even Paula, whom I didn’t know, recognizes, and Dennis is reliable and considerate.
Maybe there are other amazing people that I don’t know about. I’m living surrounded by such people.
How lucky am I?
I sipped the tea as if chewing it and met Dennis’ eyes. She looked shocked about something.
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh, no. It’s nothing.”
She said that and turned to the side. However, her eyes were red. She seemed embarrassed. I answered “I see” and quietly drank my tea.
Honestly, I was very tired, but somehow I felt quite healed.
After a while, Dora returned a little hesitantly. As I had recovered quite a bit, I stood up to dress in the evening gown she had brought as she suggested.
◆
Thanks to Jeremiah’s comforting words and the tea that Dennis gave me, I managed to hold on until the day of the Javier festival, and now I was in a carriage.
Only Jeremiah was riding with me.
Perhaps he didn’t want to tire me out even in the carriage, but we often ended up alone together, which was both considerate and bad for my heart.
Moreover, lately he has been, how should I put it, getting closer in various ways.
Of course, “closer” simply means in terms of distance. Not only that, but the frequency of our touches has also increased significantly.
I wanted him to keep a little more distance from me since he had caused me so much mental stress, but I couldn’t say anything and thought I would get used to it as I endured it.
However, as expected, it was not easy to get used to. Even now, he was holding my hand with a very gentle touch. I thought he didn’t have to do that for me not to run away, but it made me a little happy, so I kept quiet.
Still, my heart was pounding and it was tough.
I looked outside to calm my restless heart.
There were people working every day. There were craftsmen who had been around for a long time and people who worked in factories, as well as those who did business with them. However, today everyone was off and their expressions were softer.
I also saw many parents with their children.
They were probably going to church together as a family.
Today, without any distinction between high and low, I simply rejoice, pray, and spend my time peacefully, just because the season has come around again.
I gazed at that scene intently.
And then, I suddenly remembered.
In my past life, I had also gazed at the scenery outside like this. The sound of joyful voices ringing in my ears, smiles, and the small voices of arguments mixed in. Faces talking seriously about something. All of these things combined, and I was envious.
It was difficult for me to see the faces of people who could live with purpose, dreams, and hopes——because I couldn’t go there.
And then, when I came to this world, I met people who shared the same feelings for completely different reasons than me.
I wanted to do something about it.
However, there were only a few people who had the power to change the situation alone, and I realized that I was not one of them. Still, there were things that I could do. That fact was amazing to me.
I opened my mouth naturally because I wanted to convey this feeling.
“Jeremiah, I’ve caused a lot of trouble for you and everyone else, but I truly think coming to the capital was a good thing.”
Suddenly spoken to, Jeremiah blinked. His beautifully shaped eyes became round with doubt. Seeing that, I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.
“In my past life, I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even dream or fall in love. But, meeting Jeremiah and being able to be together like this, I can live an age that I have never experienced before. That alone is amazing, but it’s still not enough.”
Jeremiah listens silently without interrupting. Although there are no words of agreement, I feel relieved that he is watching me properly, so I continue to talk.
“There’s something I really want. Of course, it’s not something that would inconvenience you, so please don’t worry.”
“…I see.”
Jeremiah mutters and stares at my hand. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but I didn’t feel like he would deny me. However, I couldn’t imagine him accepting it either.
I wait patiently for Jeremiah to speak.
“…I don’t want to force my thoughts on you. But if it ever leads to you leaving because of it…”
“That won’t happen.”
I say firmly, interrupting Jeremiah’s voice tinged with anxiety.
“I already told you. I want to keep looking at your face and your figure forever. The thing I want most is to be by your side for the rest of my life and become your family.”
Yes, I fell in love that I couldn’t in my previous life.
It couldn’t have happened without Jeremiah. I fell in love with him because he was the only one. Moreover, we have promised to get married. It’s amazing. There are many things to look forward to, such as the wedding and having my own family, even though it’s still in the future.
However, I talked about this because I wanted something else.
For example, what immediately comes to mind is that I want to meet more people with memories like mine. I want to talk to them. I want to know more about why we and they came to this world.
Of course, if they are in trouble, I want to help them within my ability.
“I haven’t decided yet, but I want to investigate more about this world. Within the limits of what is possible, I want to achieve something, in other words, I want to have pride and feel alive.”
Yes, that is what I want the most. That’s what I learned from my experiences this time.
The face of someone trying to accomplish something.
I want to have that kind of face.
“But if you’re not by my side, the colors will disappear from my life. I don’t want that. Within the limits of what is possible. I think it would be greedy to ask for more… My life with Jeremiah is more important to me…”
I couldn’t finish my words.
I was pulled and hugged, and before I could say anything in surprise, a low voice whispered in my ear.
“You can do whatever you want. I don’t mind helping you.”
“Uh, no, but…”
I wanted to say that it would be a bother, but he beat me to it.
“I’ll give you everything that the old you couldn’t get. Let’s stay together forever.”
“Y-Yes.”
I wanted to answer with “Of course” or “Naturally,” but the atmosphere wasn’t like that, so I swallowed those cheerful responses.
Eventually, our bodies separated, but my heart was still beating fast.
When I looked up, there was a gentle smile.
Suddenly, I felt relieved by that smile and took his hand and stood next to him. Jeremiah seemed a little surprised, but he let me do what I wanted.
Then I leaned my head back and cuddled up to him.
Jeremiah moved slightly. It made me happy, and I felt like I was allowed to do it naturally and smiled.
My heart was still loud as ever, but I could be very calm. It was comfortable.
From now on, this will be my place.
With that feeling, when I closed my eyes, the warmth from one side of my body became clearer.
A feeling of warmth that made my stomach feel warm and itchy in some way filled me up.
I’m happy.
I thought so from the bottom of my heart.
“Thank you. I would be happy to ask for your help again.”
Dennis breathed a sigh of relief and her face lit up. Her softness oozed out, and she didn’t seem scary at all.
And I looked at the contents of the cup and thought to myself.
She really has a woman’s perspective, making flower tea for me when I’m tired.
Although she is strong and tends to forget, I feel more familiar with her than usual. I couldn’t help but smile.
“I’m really grateful to have Dennis around.”
I muttered what I was thinking.
Looking at it this way, I think everyone around me is amazing. Even Dora has a sense of recognition that even Paula, whom I didn’t know, recognizes, and Dennis is reliable and considerate.
Maybe there are other amazing people that I don’t know about. I’m living surrounded by such people.
How lucky am I?
I sipped the tea as if chewing it and met Dennis’ eyes. She looked shocked about something.
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh, no. It’s nothing.”
She said that and turned to the side. However, her eyes were red. She seemed embarrassed. I answered “I see” and quietly drank my tea.
Honestly, I was very tired, but somehow I felt quite healed.
After a while, Dora returned a little hesitantly. As I had recovered quite a bit, I stood up to dress in the evening gown she had brought as she suggested.
◆
Thanks to Jeremiah’s comforting words and the tea that Dennis gave me, I managed to hold on until the day of the Javier festival, and now I was in a carriage.
Only Jeremiah was riding with me.
Perhaps he didn’t want to tire me out even in the carriage, but we often ended up alone together, which was both considerate and bad for my heart.
Moreover, lately he has been, how should I put it, getting closer in various ways.
Of course, “closer” simply means in terms of distance. Not only that, but the frequency of our touches has also increased significantly.
I wanted him to keep a little more distance from me since he had caused me so much mental stress, but I couldn’t say anything and thought I would get used to it as I endured it.
However, as expected, it was not easy to get used to. Even now, he was holding my hand with a very gentle touch. I thought he didn’t have to do that for me not to run away, but it made me a little happy, so I kept quiet.
Still, my heart was pounding and it was tough.
I looked outside to calm my restless heart.
There were people working every day. There were craftsmen who had been around for a long time and people who worked in factories, as well as those who did business with them. However, today everyone was off and their expressions were softer.
I also saw many parents with their children.
They were probably going to church together as a family.
Today, without any distinction between high and low, I simply rejoice, pray, and spend my time peacefully, just because the season has come around again.
I gazed at that scene intently.
And then, I suddenly remembered.
In my past life, I had also gazed at the scenery outside like this. The sound of joyful voices ringing in my ears, smiles, and the small voices of arguments mixed in. Faces talking seriously about something. All of these things combined, and I was envious.
It was difficult for me to see the faces of people who could live with purpose, dreams, and hopes——because I couldn’t go there.
And then, when I came to this world, I met people who shared the same feelings for completely different reasons than me.
I wanted to do something about it.
However, there were only a few people who had the power to change the situation alone, and I realized that I was not one of them. Still, there were things that I could do. That fact was amazing to me.
I opened my mouth naturally because I wanted to convey this feeling.
“Jeremiah, I’ve caused a lot of trouble for you and everyone else, but I truly think coming to the capital was a good thing.”
Suddenly spoken to, Jeremiah blinked. His beautifully shaped eyes became round with doubt. Seeing that, I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.
“In my past life, I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even dream or fall in love. But, meeting Jeremiah and being able to be together like this, I can live an age that I have never experienced before. That alone is amazing, but it’s still not enough.”
Jeremiah listens silently without interrupting. Although there are no words of agreement, I feel relieved that he is watching me properly, so I continue to talk.
“There’s something I really want. Of course, it’s not something that would inconvenience you, so please don’t worry.”
“…I see.”
Jeremiah mutters and stares at my hand. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but I didn’t feel like he would deny me. However, I couldn’t imagine him accepting it either.
I wait patiently for Jeremiah to speak.
“…I don’t want to force my thoughts on you. But if it ever leads to you leaving because of it…”
“That won’t happen.”
I say firmly, interrupting Jeremiah’s voice tinged with anxiety.
“I already told you. I want to keep looking at your face and your figure forever. The thing I want most is to be by your side for the rest of my life and become your family.”
Yes, I fell in love that I couldn’t in my previous life.
It couldn’t have happened without Jeremiah. I fell in love with him because he was the only one. Moreover, we have promised to get married. It’s amazing. There are many things to look forward to, such as the wedding and having my own family, even though it’s still in the future.
However, I talked about this because I wanted something else.
For example, what immediately comes to mind is that I want to meet more people with memories like mine. I want to talk to them. I want to know more about why we and they came to this world.
Of course, if they are in trouble, I want to help them within my ability.
“I haven’t decided yet, but I want to investigate more about this world. Within the limits of what is possible, I want to achieve something, in other words, I want to have pride and feel alive.”
Yes, that is what I want the most. That’s what I learned from my experiences this time.
The face of someone trying to accomplish something.
I want to have that kind of face.
“But if you’re not by my side, the colors will disappear from my life. I don’t want that. Within the limits of what is possible. I think it would be greedy to ask for more… My life with Jeremiah is more important to me…”
I couldn’t finish my words.
I was pulled and hugged, and before I could say anything in surprise, a low voice whispered in my ear.
“You can do whatever you want. I don’t mind helping you.”
“Uh, no, but…”
I wanted to say that it would be a bother, but he beat me to it.
“I’ll give you everything that the old you couldn’t get. Let’s stay together forever.”
“Y-Yes.”
I wanted to answer with “Of course” or “Naturally,” but the atmosphere wasn’t like that, so I swallowed those cheerful responses.
Eventually, our bodies separated, but my heart was still beating fast.
When I looked up, there was a gentle smile.
Suddenly, I felt relieved by that smile and took his hand and stood next to him. Jeremiah seemed a little surprised, but he let me do what I wanted.
Then I leaned my head back and cuddled up to him.
Jeremiah moved slightly. It made me happy, and I felt like I was allowed to do it naturally and smiled.
My heart was still loud as ever, but I could be very calm. It was comfortable.
From now on, this will be my place.
With that feeling, when I closed my eyes, the warmth from one side of my body became clearer.
A feeling of warmth that made my stomach feel warm and itchy in some way filled me up.
I’m happy.
I thought so from the bottom of my heart.
