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[collapse]A/N: If the color hurts your eyes, click the spoiler
SpoilerCHAPTER 270 - Emotion
Arceus, they sounded so young. Like a child, barely over the age of six, yet capable of wielding power that boggled the mind. I stopped myself from instinctually taking a step back, instead digging my heels in whatever liquid it was that I was standing on. It was warm— too warm and comfortable.
"H—hello," I forced out. "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting."
There was a slight pause, and then a giggle. Was that good or bad? I couldn't even comprehend the emotions that were emanating off Mesprit, so I couldn't tell. There were too many— they were too large— too new, too nonsensical. Like they were feeling every possible emotion at all times, but in a grander fashion.
"Put your head up, Shard," the Legend ordered. It was a command, yet it was playful.
I winced, glancing upward and expecting the same suffocating feeling to befall me, but instead, I got a clear look at what Mesprit looked like. I didn't know if that was better or worse. Their piercing yellow eyes terrified me— shook me to my very core. Continuous shivers ran up and down my spine. Mesprit's gem shone brightly, even through all of the colors swirling about.
"You're letting me look," I said, slightly unbelieving.
"Of course! You're my Shard, so why wouldn't you be able to look? I let you utter my name, after all," Mesprit said.
Ah, so that had been intentional, then. That was… slightly reassuring, honestly.
"I have questions— if I may."
The God flicked a hand up and forcefully dragged me toward them. I felt a gentle squeeze lift me up in the air and guide me forward until they stared right into my eyes. Their skin looked so soft and glowed slightly— like porcelain. There was not a single blemish to be seen on any part of their body. Mesprit's yellow eyes shone and I saw the air to our left shift as they turned me in that direction. It was a vision, no, an image of what was going on in the real world. The five League Trainers and their grass types, frozen in time as I plunged my hand into the water.
"Before we begin," Mesprit said with a hint of playfulness. "Perhaps we should rid ourselves of these humans. What do you want me to do to them?"
My stomach dropped, and I squirmed in Mesprit's hold. "No! Don't— don't do anything."
The God frowned. "Fear? How strange. Worry not, Shard. I like you, no harm will befall you while you are here."
"Don't do anything to them. They're just here to make sure nothing goes wrong," I stammered.
"I wasn't going to kill them. Just punish them for thinking they could interfere and use it as a lesson for you."
"Lesson?" I said, cold sweat dripping to my chin. How could I convince them not to do this?
"Yes, like when I punish them for calling my name out loud," Mesprit said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "But this deserves stronger punishment, for thinking that they could interfere between me and you."
"They're not interfering."
"Of course. They cannot, but they wish they could. But seeing as you disagree, I will let them go with only a month of heartache," Mesprit declared with a flick of their wrist.
"Why—"
"The deed is done, Shard," Mesprit said. "There is no walking it back."
They let me go, and I stumbled back, still registering what had just happened. The image was no longer there now, but I knew the moment I opened my eyes again the League Trainers would be distraught. The worst part is that they'd probably think it was my fault until I could explain myself to Commander Bethany.
"Why did you do this?" I asked, my eyes wide.
"Because I wanted to. Why else?" the God asked, titling their head. "Now, let us begin."
Mesprit floated a few feet in front of me with a wide smile and spun around as they giggled.
"I've wanted to talk to you for so long! Since that fateful day, when you first came to the shores of my domain."
Focus, Grace! I screamed at myself. You had questions, so ask them. I would worry about the consequences later.
"Why so anxious? We have all the time in the world, here."
"You said you liked me, right?" I muttered.
"Of course! I haven't had a Shard in millennia! It's a special occasion!"
"Then would you please refrain from hurting anyone else," I begged. Asking something from a God wasn't exactly a wise decision, but it was all I had. "Please. It would make me like you more."
"Liar! You don't like me, you only fear and disdain me," Mesprit grumbled. "I'll remedy that."
Something went wrong.
It was difficult to describe. Like a piece of myself, having gone missing, but not being able to tell which, and then a seed was planted and slowly began to take root. I looked at Mesprit again and realized I was smiling. My cheeks felt warm, and I relaxed. I felt so content here that I didn't care what Mesprit had done to those trainers. Why had I even criticized them for it in the first place? Now they were going to hate me— and that; that was the most terrifying prospect I could think of, at the moment. Love. This was love, and it felt so real. And that quick realization came a fresh dose of horror.
"You're reacting to this all wrong!"
"Fucking fix me," I snarled. "This love— it's fake."
"Grrrr, fine. If you hadn't been a Shard, that would have worked perfectly," The Legend huffed, crossing their arms.
Another moment passed, and I felt whole again. Normal. I gasped in relief and restrained the tears that almost came. Sparing one last look at Mesprit just to make sure I was right again, I stood up and glared at them.
"You can't do that to me ever again," I demanded.
Mesprit's face fell. "You never would have been the wiser if you hadn't been a Shard. We would be laughing together right now. Granted, I could have kept going, it would have gone on for a while longer so I could pluck the right emotions away and shove in new ones to make you whole again."
I ignored the horror that crept up my skin. "It would have been fake."
"I would have made it real."
"May I be frank, Mesprit?" I said. When they nodded, I continued. "I would rather die."
I expected an outburst of anger, but instead, Mesprit gasped— which sounded way too human for my liking, and they pouted, letting out a sad hum. I was starting to understand, if only slightly. Mesprit was even more disconnected from humans than Azelf had been and genuinely didn't understand why I didn't want them to just pick and choose what I felt at will.
"If you feel so strongly about it, then I won't, and I apologize," Mesprit said. "Since I sensed emotional turmoil within you, I was going to ask if you wanted me to fix it. All of your current worries could disappear, you know?"
"Absolutely not. From this point on, please, just don't touch me."
"Only because I like you."
Arceus, what a strange fucking way to show your love, then. And of course, Mesprit knew what passed through my mind because they were the empath, but they seemed to like it better when I spoke.
"I just have questions," I said. "If I may?"
"Of course, Shard."
"Earlier, you said that you wanted to talk to me that day I first came to the lake. Does that mean I was chosen for a reason or another?"
Azelf had been very clear that Cecilia and Chase were Champions by happenstance, and I wanted to confirm if it was also the case for me. If it was, odds were, Mira wouldn't have been chosen either.
"Uxie's going to be angry if I just rob them of the joy they'd feel revealing the answer to the Shard of Knowledge," Mesprit said as they floated upside down. The first word resonated with a bit of power even if we weren't in Acuity.
"It would make me like you more if you told me."
"You speak no lie," they said after a short pause. "Very well, then. That day, when you came face to face with that empty shell of a man, I laid eyes on you and your comrade."
From what Roland Hunter had told me about Cyrus, he was the empty shell, and my comrade… was Denzel.
"I knew the empty shell planned to use us to bring an end to His creation by virtue of forewarning from Knowledge. I cannot bestow my gift to people beyond my domain while I am dormant. Only to those who are close to the space I influence or the space around my Shard itself. You were in the correct demographic. Young, a desire to travel, but most of all, there was potential already there. Beyond that? Happenstance."
"But Denzel was right next to me," I hissed. "He was right there."
Mesprit cackled. "That human is far too boring to ever hope to become my Shard. There was less potential in him, and unlike Willpower, I do not break His rules."
The sentence had ended with a sinister glare, so there was obviously still resentment there that I didn't want to touch with a ten foot pole. Still, I felt so much relief. It had been random, after all. There was so little pressure on me now. I didn't fit the mold— beyond whatever 'potential' meant. I assumed that they meant I wasn't as 'sane' as Denzel was, and I had never been. And that wasn't a good thing.
"It's a wonderful thing, Shard! Your fellow human is a dull canvas, but you? Your colors are far more vibrant than his, and they were even back then."
"Cyrus is only doing this because he can't feel anything," I challenged. "Couldn't you just fix him? Normally I wouldn't endorse it, but…"
In the first place, part of me almost thought that Cyrus' state had been Mesprit's doing—
All the air was pulled out of my lungs, and I collapsed when a crushing pressure pressed on my entire body. I hacked out as a hand went to my throat and the force of Mesprit's full presence bore down on me— no, this was not their full presence, it was the presence of their dormant self, in a fake world of their creation.
"I told you, didn't I?!" Mesprit raged— truly raged. The colors around them violently lashed out and struck at me like whips, causing stinging pain that wasn't real. "Shard or not, I won't let you suggest that I would have gone against His orders!"
"You—" I coughed, half my face buried in water that wasn't there. "You influenced the League Trainers. I thought—"
"It was nothing permanent!" the Legendary yelled, their voice reverberating against the dark. "And should they leave here, they will return to normal early!"
Then, all of the pressure winked out of existence. There was no more flaring pain on my skin, as if it had never been there at all.
"You understand now, yes? Fixing him beyond the reach of my domain would have gone against His rules. Forgive me for the outburst, Shard. I apologize."
Don't think about the rules, don't think about how shit and convoluted they are—
I couldn't stop. While I might have been able to trick Bellatrix, I couldn't trick Mesprit, and anger roiled again, this time gentler.
"Uxie would say I should not lash out against a Shard who could not know better," Mesprit said. "So you will be spared for thinking that He would be wrong in any way shape or form."
And this was Mesprit liking me? I slowly stood back up, thankful that this world wasn't real and any potential injuries I got here wouldn't translate to the real world. I caught my breath for a few seconds as Mesprit swayed their head from side to side, awaiting my next question.
"So, the other Shards," I mumbled, suddenly not as brave any longer. "They got their power— through me?"
"My siblings' domains had not seen visitors in centuries, save for that female human who lives near Knowledge," Mesprit explained far too gently for my liking. "Through you, new gifts were bestowed. There were no better options than humans you were close to, so you could communicate when the time came. My siblings picked the ones who best fit what they wanted. And so, three others became Shard— though it should have been two."
Finally, I had gotten answers to a question that had plagued our minds for so long. I nodded tightly, though my emotions betrayed me and Mesprit stared with a wide smile as they no doubt watched relief flow through me.
"Okay, thank you for the help," I said in hopes of placating them. Granted, it was useless, but I still did so out of fear anyway. "Az— Willpower said that Team Galactic somehow got a hold of your gem."
Mesprit nodded. "They sent people deep underwater, and somehow there are replicas being made through that horrifying, monstrous thing you humans created. Ditto, you call it. It helped you create that propped-up, so-called 'God', but he's a fake! And he is not welcome! He was not created by Him!"
"Mesprit," I coughed, covering my face from their anger. "You're hurting me."
"Oh, no! I'm sorry, Shard!"
The rage vanished as fast as it had come, and I drew in a raspy breath. "So— this chain, can it be destroyed?"
"It can, but it will take far more power than any Pokemon your so-called Champion has at her disposal. If it cannot be reached before completion— and trust me, Shard, the time is near— then it will take months to destroy. The whole is greater than its individual parts, because it matters."
It matters? "What do you mean by that?" I asked.
"The Red Chain is Concept, its individual parts are not," the Legendary said, as if that explained anything.
"Okay… I guess. When you say the completion is near, how far away is it?"
Luckily, since the chain was being made out of Mesprit's gems, they had an answer for me.
"A month and… two days."
Calm down. Even if they completed the chain, they would have to make it through the fortresses that surrounded the lakes, and they would need to take control of all three Guardians to go ahead with their plans. They were still on the back foot.
"And my role will be to wrest you back from their control should they breach the walls here and reach your lake, right?" I asked. "Your sibling said as much."
Mesprit nodded with a song-like hum.
"My next question is about Cyrus again," I said. "About how someone can truly be born with no emotions. I thought they were exaggerating, but if even you call him empty…"
Even Justin at his worst had felt something.
"The answer still eludes me," Mesprit said with a frown. "It is as if he was born with Knowledge and Willpower, but no Emotion, therefore he is an empty shell. The last time someone attempted to end His Creation millennia ago— your Champion's very ancestor— there was no such individual to contend with."
"Cynthia's ancestor—"
"He was quite the human. There was madness in him I have only seen a few times since. There is one, currently, who works for the empty shell. They would have both made excellent Shards, but unfortunately, they wanted to break His rules."
Before I could speak, Mesprit floated toward me until our foreheads almost touched. They would have, had I not taken a step back and nearly tripped. Their presence was still overwhelming, and the closer they were, the worse I felt.
"You had that same potential within you, and you were getting there," Mesprit grumbled. "But you hold yourself back instead of leaning into my Concept, and for what? Opinions of mere humans?"
"I'm human," I fought back.
"You are Shard," Mesprit giggled. "And this dissociation business is not something I approve of. Why be unfeeling when you can experience the beauty of emotion?"
"Well, I'm working on that one," I said. "It helps me fight efficiently."
The God stuck their tongue out at me. "Efficiency is boring. Was it not wonderful, when you saw the will to live slowly drain out of that blemish for hours? The feeling of your axe, sinking into his flesh?"
"It— it wasn't—"
"Liar! You loved it. While the Shard of Knowledge was paling and averting her eyes, you stared right into that human's eyes and relished in every moment until he took the axe and slit his own throat. Your enjoyment of that process was none of my doing, but you are avoiding your deepest wants for shallow ones."
I bit my lip. "I'm trying to change," I said in a defeated tone, my shoulders slumping. "I don't want to be like this."
"Oh, you don't care. Not really. It's your friends, but mostly, it's that girl you love, the half-Shard," Mesprit hummed. "But the powers I am about to bestow onto you could remedy this. It would not be difficult."
"Stop."
"It's just about grabbing the emotions you like and expunging the ones that you don't, slowly but surely. A little push there, a little pull there, and soon enough she'd only look at you. She would never leave you, because that is your biggest fear, Shard. Abandonment. She would love you more than she thinks possible," Mesprit said. "She will be yours. Of course, she'd fight back with her gift if you did it too abruptly, but if you do it slowly enough, she'll never be able to tell. She is only half a Shard, after all. Now that you've met me, your power will overwhelm hers."
"Stop it."
"And you'll be able to tell, because you'll be able to know what she feels at all times if you delve deep enough, and the previous Shard of Emotion loved that feeling just as much as you will, I'm sure. So long as you keep her on the path to save His Creation, Azelf will not care. They despise their two Shards anyway." They puffed up their chest proudly. "Not me, though! I like you, which is why I'm giving you all of this advice! Honestly, it serves them right for breaking His rules!"
I clenched a fist. "If I had been cornered. If I had been desperate. If they had all thrown me away," I slowly said. "I fear that I might have considered that offer for at least a few seconds, and that disgusts me," I spat. "I don't want to control people, Mesprit. You think it's fine, because you don't see the opinions of anyone who isn't me as important, but I will never rob Cecilia of her freedom. Never. Or anyone else's."
Mesprit huffed and pouted. "How dreadfully boring."
"I hope I stay boring to you my entire life," I hissed. "I want to be normal. I want to be— no, I am human."
"That ship has sailed, Shard."
"You don't get to make the decisions for me. That would be breaking His rules," I said.
My knees buckled, but I still stood, not because I had grown stronger, but because that had only been one of the gentler pressures applied to me today.
"Very well, then. This is not how I expected this to go," Mesprit sighed. "You were growing so entertaining, too."
"And I thought you'd take this a lot more seriously," I muttered.
I had been so close to the edge, hadn't I? All it would have taken was for my friends to give up on me and I would have jumped into the depths of the abyss without looking back. I probably would have ended up losing my sponsor at some point. Ended up as a recluse who everyone hated, and became someone unrecognizable. No, that was wrong. I would have been recognizable. Each step taken further down could be tracked to the day, and the staircase had a lot of steps left.
"Ah, human morality. I never did understand it," Mesprit said. "Let us move on to your new gift, then, Shard."
"I told you I wouldn't use it," I preempted. "Well, that's not right. I won't use it unless I'm about to get killed or it's needed. That, I have no qualms about."
"Pfff, I was about to say that getting into that game my sibling and that human you love were playing would be boring, thank you."
Then, Mesprit paused.
"You'll find yourself hard-pressed to use it in such a situation, Shard. You are no Concept. Being a Shard in full will allow you to tinker with your gift with much higher limits, but for you, altering someone's emotions will require focus—" Mesprit stopped. "Oh! Maybe your dissociation thing can help, although it won't help for the time you'll need. Days of carefully altering someone. Of course, you can always brute force things, but that will leave your target irreparably damaged and actually exhaust you to unconsciousness right away. Me, I could fix them, but you're only a Shard."
"How does it work? How do I do it?" I asked.
"You add, remove or mix the colors, obviously."
"Okay, but how does that work?"
"Relax! It'll come to you naturally. The more you practice, the better you'll become at it. Of course, you'll be able to affect and sense all living things."
"Not happening."
Mesprit rolled their eyes. "I thought we agreed that we weren't going to play the same game!"
"It's not a game!" I lashed out.
"You really are no fun. Azelf would love you— wait, they wouldn't, hahaha!"
"So is that it, then? Are we done?" I asked.
"Oh, but wait," Mesprit said with a devilish grin. "That human you care about who was soaked by the Dark. You could fix him."
I froze.
"Now, if you don't have anything else to add, Shard, we are done. Oh! And you'll be able to understand Pokemon in an hour tops instead of a few days. I almost forgot!"
I could… fix Justin. Make him return to normal again, and he'd be cured. All I had to do was—
"Oh, but you'll need practice. His case is quite severe. You don't want to mess him up even further, do you?" Mesprit tilted their head and smiled.
Fuck this. I decided to end that part of the conversation here. I couldn't think straight with them being the devil on my shoulder.
I ran a hand through my wet hair and sighed. "Why would you ever want to hand over this power to someone as unstable as Mars of all people? Or Cynthia's ancestor?"
"So long as they save His Creation, what do I care? They'll be dead before I can blink," Mesprit nonchalantly said. "The previous set of Shards, they carved out a niche in the world for themselves after they did. The Shard of Willpower stayed in Hisui and created an empire that collapsed as soon as she died. Emotion sailed the world, creating a cult of admirers and a religion that petered out a few generations after his death. Knowledge settled down on the mainland south of Hisui and created a city-state to rule where humanity's feats advanced leaps and bounds until she was assassinated while she slept and everything she'd worked for was lost when her village was razed to the earth and the grounds salted. Willpower's shard had sent the assassin despite having been so-called lovers during their quest to save the world, out of fear that their empire would fall behind technologically. It is all dust, Shard. Dust. And if it must be so, then I would rather be entertained for a fraction of my existence." They paused to sigh. "Without Shards, I cannot delve into the world, you see. It is boring, and interesting humans make for an interesting instant in time. Even Willpower entertained themselves with that human you love for a short while."
"We were always tools, weren't we?" I quietly said.
"It is not your fault, Shard. The Creator loves you, He truly does. You are the first of His children. But we were not imbued with that love. We are simply Concepts. He is blind to your faults, so we must peer through his blind spots, lest His Creation end."
"Fine Mesprit," I said tiredly. "I'll be a tool. I'll do what's needed when the time comes. But I can't in good conscience behave like you want me to."
"Begone, Shard. I like you less than I thought I would."
The Legendary flicked their wrist in annoyance, and I was slapped away by an invisible force. Before I could land, I was back in the real world. I inhaled sharply as the water on my wrist slid down like goo and settled back into the lake.
"Grace Pastel! Confirm that you are still with us!"
Everything was so loud, and the world was so bright. I squinted and put a hand over my eyes as I turned back toward the League Trainers. They were terrified of me, but that wasn't it. I could delve deeper, now. The shades were more precise, easier to distinguish. I tried to answer, but I had the biggest headache. The center of the base was swarming with emotions in such an overwhelming way that for a second, I couldn't even comprehend what I was looking at.
"I'm— I'm here," I said, quieter than I wanted.
Wait, hadn't Mesprit given them some kind of heartbreak? I couldn't see any signs of it here, and they were acting normally. Two of the League Trainers approached me with a careful step and grabbed me by the arm to lift me up. Had Mesprit changed their mind? I wasn't so big-headed to think that I had anything to do with it, but still, I felt thankful nonetheless. I would have told them that they only needed to leave the premises not to suffer a month of heartbreak, but it was still better this way.
They tried questioning me during the car ride back, but stopped when I started clenching at my head when we reached the activity hub of the base. I knew I could dull my powers, but this was like trying to empty an ocean with a small cup. It wasn't stopping.
"I need— I need to go somewhere without so many people," I exhaled as the car came to a stop. "This is hurting me."
Like the first few times a psychic had tried speaking into my mind, but continuous instead of a short injection of pain. They said they would have to ask Bethany about that first, and I could only muster a nod. At least they left me to sit in the car. I laid down on the backseat and wiped the sweat off my forehead. Add, remove, or mix the colors. Mesprit had been right. I hadn't done anything yet, but I could pull and push at them when I wanted to. Ripping them out of someone would take some exertion, but it was scarily intuitive, even if it would have made me pass out. Doing it slowly and over time, however? There was no limit, save for my stamina. Did they have water in here? Right, I had my backpack… my backpack. Right, I had left it in the car and it was still here. I opened it with a shaky hand and grabbed one of my water bottles. When I tried to drink, the water got all over my face and inside of my nose instead. I nearly choked on the damn thing and ended up dropping the bottle in the car.
Look at me. Given a gift by a literal God and I can't even drink water by myself.
It took a little bit for someone to come back to get me, and I was slowly but surely emptying the fucking ocean. Maybe I'd been exaggerating, really, but in an actual city, it would literally be one.
"Grace Pastel. Commander Bethany is ready for you."
"What about what I asked? Doing this somewhere else?" I asked through cold sweats.
"She has already ordered the surroundings to be cleared, including headquarters," the League Trainer said.
I pulled myself back up and carefully stepped out of the car with my crutch, wincing when a flurry of people and Pokemon passed by me. The throbbing pain dissipated when the building was emptied and I kept getting better at masking my gift. This time, Bethany had a Vileplume with her, though I didn't know if it was hers or someone else's. Aliyah was here too— with Chimecho. They both stared into my eyes and… appraised me, for lack of a better word. After around a minute, she pulled a recorder out of a drawer and turned it on.
"How was it?" Bethany finally asked.
I revealed every content of the meeting, save for when Mesprit essentially called me a psycho. This information would all be sent to Cynthia, probably. They really appreciated an actual timeline on the Red Chain, at the very least, and the fact that Mesprit was a lot more cooperative than Azelf was. Cooperative was some way to call it. My neck hair stood on end when I remembered how effortlessly Mesprit had made me love them. Continuing on, apparently my eyes were pink, although that was fading and fading quickly. Cece and Chase's eyes had been yellow after speaking to Azelf, so that made sense. The colors felt a bit odd, but I wasn't going to tell Gods what colors should signify what concept.
"Now, about your new… capabilities," Bethany asked.
"From what I understand, I can tamper with emotions. If I do it subtly, it'll take hours to days to change someone the way I want, but I can also… use a hammer instead of a scalpel, for lack of a better word, and wreck everything, but that'll make me pass out. Too much stamina used at once."
I saw fear flicker around her like a surging flame as she paled, although Aliyah was as calm as could be. It made sense. I could potentially be altering her in ways she wouldn't even understand right now, and she would be none the wiser. I would be terrified of me too. I needed to keep what Aliyah had said in mind. Me being able to know what my friends felt when they saw me would bring out my most manipulative tendencies, so I needed to keep practicing at lowering this… intensity until I could ignore it completely.
"You don't have to worry," I tried. "I won't do anything."
Bethany snorted— though it was a way to mask her fear— "Well, if you say so," she said, clearly sarcastic. "Unfortunately though, the League would like if you could… test this."
I frowned. "What?"
"It doesn't have to be something big. Maybe make someone jovial or sad for a little bit, just to confirm."
"So… who?" I muttered.
"We brought in a prisoner since we were expecting you—"
"What? You want me to experiment on some prisoner?" I scoffed. "That's… fucked up. I can't do this."
"He's one of the people who was running the fighting ring in the Game Corner," Bethany finished, tapping her fingers nervously on the desk.
My eyes narrowed. This was manipulation, and it was blatant.
"Did Cynthia make you do this?" I asked.
"No. It was my call," Bethany shrugged. "And you can always change them back to normal."
Not a lie, I noticed. Her nervousness and fear would have swelled if it was, unless she was a stone-cold liar who'd trained herself to bypass even the most powerful empaths, which I doubted she was. She'd been right that I could get them back to normal, but I wasn't confident I actually knew how yet— which I guessed was why she'd asked me to practice in the first place. My lips quivered as I struggled to get the answer out of my mouth.
Say no. Say it!
"I don't feel confident in trying anything at the moment," I said. "First, I just want to be able to stand in a crowd without dying."
I didn't miss Aliyah dipping her head at me. I could almost hear her praise from here. For Cecilia, this was the slippery slope, but I already was at the bottom of the slope and I needed to claw my way back up. There was a reason why answering no had been so difficult. Because deep down, I wanted the prisoner to suffer for what he'd done, and I wanted to be the one to do it.
But also, part of me thought that practicing on him would be a way to help Justin. I couldn't just let him be, could I?
Bethany nodded. "Fair enough. We still have some tests to run to see if any of our current methods are effective at stopping your empathy, and then you'll be free to leave."
"Okay."
Psychic barriers did nothing. Darkness dampened my view enough, but I could still peer through if I tried harder and focused. There was another thing they tried— somehow a combination of the two that they'd stolen from Abel, according to them— which almost muted their emotions, but not completely, and the longer I looked in all of these cases, the more I could see, so they wouldn't work for very long. It took nearly two hours to test everything, and by the end of it I was exhausted. Exhausted and hungry. They fed me and kept the building empty to help, but I knew that now they wanted me out of here as soon as possible.
So I obliged them and left, telling Princess about what happened while she looked for a decent spot to camp in outside of Sandgem.
I would have much to talk about with Aliyah tomorrow.
[collapse]CHAPTER 270 - Emotion
Arceus, they sounded so young. Like a child, barely over the age of six, yet capable of wielding power that boggled the mind. I stopped myself from instinctually taking a step back, instead digging my heels in whatever liquid it was that I was standing on. It was warm— too warm and comfortable.
"H—hello," I forced out. "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting."
There was a slight pause, and then a giggle. Was that good or bad? I couldn't even comprehend the emotions that were emanating off Mesprit, so I couldn't tell. There were too many— they were too large— too new, too nonsensical. Like they were feeling every possible emotion at all times, but in a grander fashion.
"Put your head up, Shard," the Legend ordered. It was a command, yet it was playful.
I winced, glancing upward and expecting the same suffocating feeling to befall me, but instead, I got a clear look at what Mesprit looked like. I didn't know if that was better or worse. Their piercing yellow eyes terrified me— shook me to my very core. Continuous shivers ran up and down my spine. Mesprit's gem shone brightly, even through all of the colors swirling about.
"You're letting me look," I said, slightly unbelieving.
"Of course! You're my Shard, so why wouldn't you be able to look? I let you utter my name, after all," Mesprit said.
Ah, so that had been intentional, then. That was… slightly reassuring, honestly.
"I have questions— if I may."
The God flicked a hand up and forcefully dragged me toward them. I felt a gentle squeeze lift me up in the air and guide me forward until they stared right into my eyes. Their skin looked so soft and glowed slightly— like porcelain. There was not a single blemish to be seen on any part of their body. Mesprit's yellow eyes shone and I saw the air to our left shift as they turned me in that direction. It was a vision, no, an image of what was going on in the real world. The five League Trainers and their grass types, frozen in time as I plunged my hand into the water.
"Before we begin," Mesprit said with a hint of playfulness. "Perhaps we should rid ourselves of these humans. What do you want me to do to them?"
My stomach dropped, and I squirmed in Mesprit's hold. "No! Don't— don't do anything."
The God frowned. "Fear? How strange. Worry not, Shard. I like you, no harm will befall you while you are here."
"Don't do anything to them. They're just here to make sure nothing goes wrong," I stammered.
"I wasn't going to kill them. Just punish them for thinking they could interfere and use it as a lesson for you."
"Lesson?" I said, cold sweat dripping to my chin. How could I convince them not to do this?
"Yes, like when I punish them for calling my name out loud," Mesprit said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "But this deserves stronger punishment, for thinking that they could interfere between me and you."
"They're not interfering."
"Of course. They cannot, but they wish they could. But seeing as you disagree, I will let them go with only a month of heartache," Mesprit declared with a flick of their wrist.
"Why—"
"The deed is done, Shard," Mesprit said. "There is no walking it back."
They let me go, and I stumbled back, still registering what had just happened. The image was no longer there now, but I knew the moment I opened my eyes again the League Trainers would be distraught. The worst part is that they'd probably think it was my fault until I could explain myself to Commander Bethany.
"Why did you do this?" I asked, my eyes wide.
"Because I wanted to. Why else?" the God asked, titling their head. "Now, let us begin."
Mesprit floated a few feet in front of me with a wide smile and spun around as they giggled.
"I've wanted to talk to you for so long! Since that fateful day, when you first came to the shores of my domain."
Focus, Grace! I screamed at myself. You had questions, so ask them. I would worry about the consequences later.
"Why so anxious? We have all the time in the world, here."
"You said you liked me, right?" I muttered.
"Of course! I haven't had a Shard in millennia! It's a special occasion!"
"Then would you please refrain from hurting anyone else," I begged. Asking something from a God wasn't exactly a wise decision, but it was all I had. "Please. It would make me like you more."
"Liar! You don't like me, you only fear and disdain me," Mesprit grumbled. "I'll remedy that."
Something went wrong.
It was difficult to describe. Like a piece of myself, having gone missing, but not being able to tell which, and then a seed was planted and slowly began to take root. I looked at Mesprit again and realized I was smiling. My cheeks felt warm, and I relaxed. I felt so content here that I didn't care what Mesprit had done to those trainers. Why had I even criticized them for it in the first place? Now they were going to hate me— and that; that was the most terrifying prospect I could think of, at the moment. Love. This was love, and it felt so real. And that quick realization came a fresh dose of horror.
"You're reacting to this all wrong!"
"Fucking fix me," I snarled. "This love— it's fake."
"Grrrr, fine. If you hadn't been a Shard, that would have worked perfectly," The Legend huffed, crossing their arms.
Another moment passed, and I felt whole again. Normal. I gasped in relief and restrained the tears that almost came. Sparing one last look at Mesprit just to make sure I was right again, I stood up and glared at them.
"You can't do that to me ever again," I demanded.
Mesprit's face fell. "You never would have been the wiser if you hadn't been a Shard. We would be laughing together right now. Granted, I could have kept going, it would have gone on for a while longer so I could pluck the right emotions away and shove in new ones to make you whole again."
I ignored the horror that crept up my skin. "It would have been fake."
"I would have made it real."
"May I be frank, Mesprit?" I said. When they nodded, I continued. "I would rather die."
I expected an outburst of anger, but instead, Mesprit gasped— which sounded way too human for my liking, and they pouted, letting out a sad hum. I was starting to understand, if only slightly. Mesprit was even more disconnected from humans than Azelf had been and genuinely didn't understand why I didn't want them to just pick and choose what I felt at will.
"If you feel so strongly about it, then I won't, and I apologize," Mesprit said. "Since I sensed emotional turmoil within you, I was going to ask if you wanted me to fix it. All of your current worries could disappear, you know?"
"Absolutely not. From this point on, please, just don't touch me."
"Only because I like you."
Arceus, what a strange fucking way to show your love, then. And of course, Mesprit knew what passed through my mind because they were the empath, but they seemed to like it better when I spoke.
"I just have questions," I said. "If I may?"
"Of course, Shard."
"Earlier, you said that you wanted to talk to me that day I first came to the lake. Does that mean I was chosen for a reason or another?"
Azelf had been very clear that Cecilia and Chase were Champions by happenstance, and I wanted to confirm if it was also the case for me. If it was, odds were, Mira wouldn't have been chosen either.
"Uxie's going to be angry if I just rob them of the joy they'd feel revealing the answer to the Shard of Knowledge," Mesprit said as they floated upside down. The first word resonated with a bit of power even if we weren't in Acuity.
"It would make me like you more if you told me."
"You speak no lie," they said after a short pause. "Very well, then. That day, when you came face to face with that empty shell of a man, I laid eyes on you and your comrade."
From what Roland Hunter had told me about Cyrus, he was the empty shell, and my comrade… was Denzel.
"I knew the empty shell planned to use us to bring an end to His creation by virtue of forewarning from Knowledge. I cannot bestow my gift to people beyond my domain while I am dormant. Only to those who are close to the space I influence or the space around my Shard itself. You were in the correct demographic. Young, a desire to travel, but most of all, there was potential already there. Beyond that? Happenstance."
"But Denzel was right next to me," I hissed. "He was right there."
Mesprit cackled. "That human is far too boring to ever hope to become my Shard. There was less potential in him, and unlike Willpower, I do not break His rules."
The sentence had ended with a sinister glare, so there was obviously still resentment there that I didn't want to touch with a ten foot pole. Still, I felt so much relief. It had been random, after all. There was so little pressure on me now. I didn't fit the mold— beyond whatever 'potential' meant. I assumed that they meant I wasn't as 'sane' as Denzel was, and I had never been. And that wasn't a good thing.
"It's a wonderful thing, Shard! Your fellow human is a dull canvas, but you? Your colors are far more vibrant than his, and they were even back then."
"Cyrus is only doing this because he can't feel anything," I challenged. "Couldn't you just fix him? Normally I wouldn't endorse it, but…"
In the first place, part of me almost thought that Cyrus' state had been Mesprit's doing—
All the air was pulled out of my lungs, and I collapsed when a crushing pressure pressed on my entire body. I hacked out as a hand went to my throat and the force of Mesprit's full presence bore down on me— no, this was not their full presence, it was the presence of their dormant self, in a fake world of their creation.
"I told you, didn't I?!" Mesprit raged— truly raged. The colors around them violently lashed out and struck at me like whips, causing stinging pain that wasn't real. "Shard or not, I won't let you suggest that I would have gone against His orders!"
"You—" I coughed, half my face buried in water that wasn't there. "You influenced the League Trainers. I thought—"
"It was nothing permanent!" the Legendary yelled, their voice reverberating against the dark. "And should they leave here, they will return to normal early!"
Then, all of the pressure winked out of existence. There was no more flaring pain on my skin, as if it had never been there at all.
"You understand now, yes? Fixing him beyond the reach of my domain would have gone against His rules. Forgive me for the outburst, Shard. I apologize."
Don't think about the rules, don't think about how shit and convoluted they are—
I couldn't stop. While I might have been able to trick Bellatrix, I couldn't trick Mesprit, and anger roiled again, this time gentler.
"Uxie would say I should not lash out against a Shard who could not know better," Mesprit said. "So you will be spared for thinking that He would be wrong in any way shape or form."
And this was Mesprit liking me? I slowly stood back up, thankful that this world wasn't real and any potential injuries I got here wouldn't translate to the real world. I caught my breath for a few seconds as Mesprit swayed their head from side to side, awaiting my next question.
"So, the other Shards," I mumbled, suddenly not as brave any longer. "They got their power— through me?"
"My siblings' domains had not seen visitors in centuries, save for that female human who lives near Knowledge," Mesprit explained far too gently for my liking. "Through you, new gifts were bestowed. There were no better options than humans you were close to, so you could communicate when the time came. My siblings picked the ones who best fit what they wanted. And so, three others became Shard— though it should have been two."
Finally, I had gotten answers to a question that had plagued our minds for so long. I nodded tightly, though my emotions betrayed me and Mesprit stared with a wide smile as they no doubt watched relief flow through me.
"Okay, thank you for the help," I said in hopes of placating them. Granted, it was useless, but I still did so out of fear anyway. "Az— Willpower said that Team Galactic somehow got a hold of your gem."
Mesprit nodded. "They sent people deep underwater, and somehow there are replicas being made through that horrifying, monstrous thing you humans created. Ditto, you call it. It helped you create that propped-up, so-called 'God', but he's a fake! And he is not welcome! He was not created by Him!"
"Mesprit," I coughed, covering my face from their anger. "You're hurting me."
"Oh, no! I'm sorry, Shard!"
The rage vanished as fast as it had come, and I drew in a raspy breath. "So— this chain, can it be destroyed?"
"It can, but it will take far more power than any Pokemon your so-called Champion has at her disposal. If it cannot be reached before completion— and trust me, Shard, the time is near— then it will take months to destroy. The whole is greater than its individual parts, because it matters."
It matters? "What do you mean by that?" I asked.
"The Red Chain is Concept, its individual parts are not," the Legendary said, as if that explained anything.
"Okay… I guess. When you say the completion is near, how far away is it?"
Luckily, since the chain was being made out of Mesprit's gems, they had an answer for me.
"A month and… two days."
Calm down. Even if they completed the chain, they would have to make it through the fortresses that surrounded the lakes, and they would need to take control of all three Guardians to go ahead with their plans. They were still on the back foot.
"And my role will be to wrest you back from their control should they breach the walls here and reach your lake, right?" I asked. "Your sibling said as much."
Mesprit nodded with a song-like hum.
"My next question is about Cyrus again," I said. "About how someone can truly be born with no emotions. I thought they were exaggerating, but if even you call him empty…"
Even Justin at his worst had felt something.
"The answer still eludes me," Mesprit said with a frown. "It is as if he was born with Knowledge and Willpower, but no Emotion, therefore he is an empty shell. The last time someone attempted to end His Creation millennia ago— your Champion's very ancestor— there was no such individual to contend with."
"Cynthia's ancestor—"
"He was quite the human. There was madness in him I have only seen a few times since. There is one, currently, who works for the empty shell. They would have both made excellent Shards, but unfortunately, they wanted to break His rules."
Before I could speak, Mesprit floated toward me until our foreheads almost touched. They would have, had I not taken a step back and nearly tripped. Their presence was still overwhelming, and the closer they were, the worse I felt.
"You had that same potential within you, and you were getting there," Mesprit grumbled. "But you hold yourself back instead of leaning into my Concept, and for what? Opinions of mere humans?"
"I'm human," I fought back.
"You are Shard," Mesprit giggled. "And this dissociation business is not something I approve of. Why be unfeeling when you can experience the beauty of emotion?"
"Well, I'm working on that one," I said. "It helps me fight efficiently."
The God stuck their tongue out at me. "Efficiency is boring. Was it not wonderful, when you saw the will to live slowly drain out of that blemish for hours? The feeling of your axe, sinking into his flesh?"
"It— it wasn't—"
"Liar! You loved it. While the Shard of Knowledge was paling and averting her eyes, you stared right into that human's eyes and relished in every moment until he took the axe and slit his own throat. Your enjoyment of that process was none of my doing, but you are avoiding your deepest wants for shallow ones."
I bit my lip. "I'm trying to change," I said in a defeated tone, my shoulders slumping. "I don't want to be like this."
"Oh, you don't care. Not really. It's your friends, but mostly, it's that girl you love, the half-Shard," Mesprit hummed. "But the powers I am about to bestow onto you could remedy this. It would not be difficult."
"Stop."
"It's just about grabbing the emotions you like and expunging the ones that you don't, slowly but surely. A little push there, a little pull there, and soon enough she'd only look at you. She would never leave you, because that is your biggest fear, Shard. Abandonment. She would love you more than she thinks possible," Mesprit said. "She will be yours. Of course, she'd fight back with her gift if you did it too abruptly, but if you do it slowly enough, she'll never be able to tell. She is only half a Shard, after all. Now that you've met me, your power will overwhelm hers."
"Stop it."
"And you'll be able to tell, because you'll be able to know what she feels at all times if you delve deep enough, and the previous Shard of Emotion loved that feeling just as much as you will, I'm sure. So long as you keep her on the path to save His Creation, Azelf will not care. They despise their two Shards anyway." They puffed up their chest proudly. "Not me, though! I like you, which is why I'm giving you all of this advice! Honestly, it serves them right for breaking His rules!"
I clenched a fist. "If I had been cornered. If I had been desperate. If they had all thrown me away," I slowly said. "I fear that I might have considered that offer for at least a few seconds, and that disgusts me," I spat. "I don't want to control people, Mesprit. You think it's fine, because you don't see the opinions of anyone who isn't me as important, but I will never rob Cecilia of her freedom. Never. Or anyone else's."
Mesprit huffed and pouted. "How dreadfully boring."
"I hope I stay boring to you my entire life," I hissed. "I want to be normal. I want to be— no, I am human."
"That ship has sailed, Shard."
"You don't get to make the decisions for me. That would be breaking His rules," I said.
My knees buckled, but I still stood, not because I had grown stronger, but because that had only been one of the gentler pressures applied to me today.
"Very well, then. This is not how I expected this to go," Mesprit sighed. "You were growing so entertaining, too."
"And I thought you'd take this a lot more seriously," I muttered.
I had been so close to the edge, hadn't I? All it would have taken was for my friends to give up on me and I would have jumped into the depths of the abyss without looking back. I probably would have ended up losing my sponsor at some point. Ended up as a recluse who everyone hated, and became someone unrecognizable. No, that was wrong. I would have been recognizable. Each step taken further down could be tracked to the day, and the staircase had a lot of steps left.
"Ah, human morality. I never did understand it," Mesprit said. "Let us move on to your new gift, then, Shard."
"I told you I wouldn't use it," I preempted. "Well, that's not right. I won't use it unless I'm about to get killed or it's needed. That, I have no qualms about."
"Pfff, I was about to say that getting into that game my sibling and that human you love were playing would be boring, thank you."
Then, Mesprit paused.
"You'll find yourself hard-pressed to use it in such a situation, Shard. You are no Concept. Being a Shard in full will allow you to tinker with your gift with much higher limits, but for you, altering someone's emotions will require focus—" Mesprit stopped. "Oh! Maybe your dissociation thing can help, although it won't help for the time you'll need. Days of carefully altering someone. Of course, you can always brute force things, but that will leave your target irreparably damaged and actually exhaust you to unconsciousness right away. Me, I could fix them, but you're only a Shard."
"How does it work? How do I do it?" I asked.
"You add, remove or mix the colors, obviously."
"Okay, but how does that work?"
"Relax! It'll come to you naturally. The more you practice, the better you'll become at it. Of course, you'll be able to affect and sense all living things."
"Not happening."
Mesprit rolled their eyes. "I thought we agreed that we weren't going to play the same game!"
"It's not a game!" I lashed out.
"You really are no fun. Azelf would love you— wait, they wouldn't, hahaha!"
"So is that it, then? Are we done?" I asked.
"Oh, but wait," Mesprit said with a devilish grin. "That human you care about who was soaked by the Dark. You could fix him."
I froze.
"Now, if you don't have anything else to add, Shard, we are done. Oh! And you'll be able to understand Pokemon in an hour tops instead of a few days. I almost forgot!"
I could… fix Justin. Make him return to normal again, and he'd be cured. All I had to do was—
"Oh, but you'll need practice. His case is quite severe. You don't want to mess him up even further, do you?" Mesprit tilted their head and smiled.
Fuck this. I decided to end that part of the conversation here. I couldn't think straight with them being the devil on my shoulder.
I ran a hand through my wet hair and sighed. "Why would you ever want to hand over this power to someone as unstable as Mars of all people? Or Cynthia's ancestor?"
"So long as they save His Creation, what do I care? They'll be dead before I can blink," Mesprit nonchalantly said. "The previous set of Shards, they carved out a niche in the world for themselves after they did. The Shard of Willpower stayed in Hisui and created an empire that collapsed as soon as she died. Emotion sailed the world, creating a cult of admirers and a religion that petered out a few generations after his death. Knowledge settled down on the mainland south of Hisui and created a city-state to rule where humanity's feats advanced leaps and bounds until she was assassinated while she slept and everything she'd worked for was lost when her village was razed to the earth and the grounds salted. Willpower's shard had sent the assassin despite having been so-called lovers during their quest to save the world, out of fear that their empire would fall behind technologically. It is all dust, Shard. Dust. And if it must be so, then I would rather be entertained for a fraction of my existence." They paused to sigh. "Without Shards, I cannot delve into the world, you see. It is boring, and interesting humans make for an interesting instant in time. Even Willpower entertained themselves with that human you love for a short while."
"We were always tools, weren't we?" I quietly said.
"It is not your fault, Shard. The Creator loves you, He truly does. You are the first of His children. But we were not imbued with that love. We are simply Concepts. He is blind to your faults, so we must peer through his blind spots, lest His Creation end."
"Fine Mesprit," I said tiredly. "I'll be a tool. I'll do what's needed when the time comes. But I can't in good conscience behave like you want me to."
"Begone, Shard. I like you less than I thought I would."
The Legendary flicked their wrist in annoyance, and I was slapped away by an invisible force. Before I could land, I was back in the real world. I inhaled sharply as the water on my wrist slid down like goo and settled back into the lake.
"Grace Pastel! Confirm that you are still with us!"
Everything was so loud, and the world was so bright. I squinted and put a hand over my eyes as I turned back toward the League Trainers. They were terrified of me, but that wasn't it. I could delve deeper, now. The shades were more precise, easier to distinguish. I tried to answer, but I had the biggest headache. The center of the base was swarming with emotions in such an overwhelming way that for a second, I couldn't even comprehend what I was looking at.
"I'm— I'm here," I said, quieter than I wanted.
Wait, hadn't Mesprit given them some kind of heartbreak? I couldn't see any signs of it here, and they were acting normally. Two of the League Trainers approached me with a careful step and grabbed me by the arm to lift me up. Had Mesprit changed their mind? I wasn't so big-headed to think that I had anything to do with it, but still, I felt thankful nonetheless. I would have told them that they only needed to leave the premises not to suffer a month of heartbreak, but it was still better this way.
They tried questioning me during the car ride back, but stopped when I started clenching at my head when we reached the activity hub of the base. I knew I could dull my powers, but this was like trying to empty an ocean with a small cup. It wasn't stopping.
"I need— I need to go somewhere without so many people," I exhaled as the car came to a stop. "This is hurting me."
Like the first few times a psychic had tried speaking into my mind, but continuous instead of a short injection of pain. They said they would have to ask Bethany about that first, and I could only muster a nod. At least they left me to sit in the car. I laid down on the backseat and wiped the sweat off my forehead. Add, remove, or mix the colors. Mesprit had been right. I hadn't done anything yet, but I could pull and push at them when I wanted to. Ripping them out of someone would take some exertion, but it was scarily intuitive, even if it would have made me pass out. Doing it slowly and over time, however? There was no limit, save for my stamina. Did they have water in here? Right, I had my backpack… my backpack. Right, I had left it in the car and it was still here. I opened it with a shaky hand and grabbed one of my water bottles. When I tried to drink, the water got all over my face and inside of my nose instead. I nearly choked on the damn thing and ended up dropping the bottle in the car.
Look at me. Given a gift by a literal God and I can't even drink water by myself.
It took a little bit for someone to come back to get me, and I was slowly but surely emptying the fucking ocean. Maybe I'd been exaggerating, really, but in an actual city, it would literally be one.
"Grace Pastel. Commander Bethany is ready for you."
"What about what I asked? Doing this somewhere else?" I asked through cold sweats.
"She has already ordered the surroundings to be cleared, including headquarters," the League Trainer said.
I pulled myself back up and carefully stepped out of the car with my crutch, wincing when a flurry of people and Pokemon passed by me. The throbbing pain dissipated when the building was emptied and I kept getting better at masking my gift. This time, Bethany had a Vileplume with her, though I didn't know if it was hers or someone else's. Aliyah was here too— with Chimecho. They both stared into my eyes and… appraised me, for lack of a better word. After around a minute, she pulled a recorder out of a drawer and turned it on.
"How was it?" Bethany finally asked.
I revealed every content of the meeting, save for when Mesprit essentially called me a psycho. This information would all be sent to Cynthia, probably. They really appreciated an actual timeline on the Red Chain, at the very least, and the fact that Mesprit was a lot more cooperative than Azelf was. Cooperative was some way to call it. My neck hair stood on end when I remembered how effortlessly Mesprit had made me love them. Continuing on, apparently my eyes were pink, although that was fading and fading quickly. Cece and Chase's eyes had been yellow after speaking to Azelf, so that made sense. The colors felt a bit odd, but I wasn't going to tell Gods what colors should signify what concept.
"Now, about your new… capabilities," Bethany asked.
"From what I understand, I can tamper with emotions. If I do it subtly, it'll take hours to days to change someone the way I want, but I can also… use a hammer instead of a scalpel, for lack of a better word, and wreck everything, but that'll make me pass out. Too much stamina used at once."
I saw fear flicker around her like a surging flame as she paled, although Aliyah was as calm as could be. It made sense. I could potentially be altering her in ways she wouldn't even understand right now, and she would be none the wiser. I would be terrified of me too. I needed to keep what Aliyah had said in mind. Me being able to know what my friends felt when they saw me would bring out my most manipulative tendencies, so I needed to keep practicing at lowering this… intensity until I could ignore it completely.
"You don't have to worry," I tried. "I won't do anything."
Bethany snorted— though it was a way to mask her fear— "Well, if you say so," she said, clearly sarcastic. "Unfortunately though, the League would like if you could… test this."
I frowned. "What?"
"It doesn't have to be something big. Maybe make someone jovial or sad for a little bit, just to confirm."
"So… who?" I muttered.
"We brought in a prisoner since we were expecting you—"
"What? You want me to experiment on some prisoner?" I scoffed. "That's… fucked up. I can't do this."
"He's one of the people who was running the fighting ring in the Game Corner," Bethany finished, tapping her fingers nervously on the desk.
My eyes narrowed. This was manipulation, and it was blatant.
"Did Cynthia make you do this?" I asked.
"No. It was my call," Bethany shrugged. "And you can always change them back to normal."
Not a lie, I noticed. Her nervousness and fear would have swelled if it was, unless she was a stone-cold liar who'd trained herself to bypass even the most powerful empaths, which I doubted she was. She'd been right that I could get them back to normal, but I wasn't confident I actually knew how yet— which I guessed was why she'd asked me to practice in the first place. My lips quivered as I struggled to get the answer out of my mouth.
Say no. Say it!
"I don't feel confident in trying anything at the moment," I said. "First, I just want to be able to stand in a crowd without dying."
I didn't miss Aliyah dipping her head at me. I could almost hear her praise from here. For Cecilia, this was the slippery slope, but I already was at the bottom of the slope and I needed to claw my way back up. There was a reason why answering no had been so difficult. Because deep down, I wanted the prisoner to suffer for what he'd done, and I wanted to be the one to do it.
But also, part of me thought that practicing on him would be a way to help Justin. I couldn't just let him be, could I?
Bethany nodded. "Fair enough. We still have some tests to run to see if any of our current methods are effective at stopping your empathy, and then you'll be free to leave."
"Okay."
Psychic barriers did nothing. Darkness dampened my view enough, but I could still peer through if I tried harder and focused. There was another thing they tried— somehow a combination of the two that they'd stolen from Abel, according to them— which almost muted their emotions, but not completely, and the longer I looked in all of these cases, the more I could see, so they wouldn't work for very long. It took nearly two hours to test everything, and by the end of it I was exhausted. Exhausted and hungry. They fed me and kept the building empty to help, but I knew that now they wanted me out of here as soon as possible.
So I obliged them and left, telling Princess about what happened while she looked for a decent spot to camp in outside of Sandgem.
I would have much to talk about with Aliyah tomorrow.
Soussouni TEAM
SpoilerTogekiss/Princess (Hustle) - Pound, Sweet Kiss, Growl, Headbutt, Fairy Wind, Ancient Power, Extrasensory, Thunder Wave, Air Cutter, Wish, Psychic, Shadow Ball, Dazzling Gleam, Moonblast, Charge Beam, Air Slash, Mystical Fire, Tri-Attack
Jellicent/Buddy (Water Absorb) - Bubblebeam, Night Shade, Absorb, Water Sport, Water Pulse, Hex, Poison Sting, Mist, Acid Armor, Shadow Ball, Recover, Brine, Whirlpool, Hydro Pump, Water Spout, Acid, Will-O-Wisp, Ice Beam, Taunt, Water Cloak, Scald
Electivire/Honey (Motor Drive) - Thundershock, Swift, Electric Swift, Thunder Punch, Charge, Leer, Ice Punch, Thunderbolt, Discharge, Fire Punch, Protect, Cross Chop, Thunder, Low-Kick, Screech, Radiant Leap, Static Shield, Bulldoze
Tangrowth/Angel (Chlorophyll) - Vine Whip, Absorb, Mega Drain, Stun Spore, Bind, Poison Powder, Leech Seed, Ancient Power, Power Whip, Knock Off, Sunny Day, Giga Drain, Sleep Powder, Solar Beam, Solar Blade, Brick Break, Ingrain
Tyranitar/Sweetheart (Sand Stream) - Leer, Tackle, Horn Attack, Rock Throw, Payback, Stomping Tantrum, Smack Down, Bite, Rock Slide, Crunch, Sandstorm, Iron Defense, Dragon Pulse, Iron Head, Earthbreaker, Aerial Ace, Stone Edge, Dark Pulse
Turtonator/Sunshine (Shell Armor) - Smog, Ember, Smokescreen, Incinerate, Iron Defense, Flamethrower, Shell Trap, Dragon Pulse, Bulldoze, Scorching Sands, Rock Tomb, Body Slam, Flash Cannon, Solar Beam, Rapid Spin, Scale Shot, Iron Tail, Focus Blast, Sunny Day, Fire Pillar, Flame Charge
Mudsdale (Temporary/Not a battler)
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[collapse]A/N: If the color hurts your eyes, click the spoiler
SpoilerCHAPTER 270 - Emotion
Arceus, they sounded so young. Like a child, barely over the age of six, yet capable of wielding power that boggled the mind. I stopped myself from instinctually taking a step back, instead digging my heels in whatever liquid it was that I was standing on. It was warm— too warm and comfortable.
"H—hello," I forced out. "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting."
There was a slight pause, and then a giggle. Was that good or bad? I couldn't even comprehend the emotions that were emanating off Mesprit, so I couldn't tell. There were too many— they were too large— too new, too nonsensical. Like they were feeling every possible emotion at all times, but in a grander fashion.
"Put your head up, Shard," the Legend ordered. It was a command, yet it was playful.
I winced, glancing upward and expecting the same suffocating feeling to befall me, but instead, I got a clear look at what Mesprit looked like. I didn't know if that was better or worse. Their piercing yellow eyes terrified me— shook me to my very core. Continuous shivers ran up and down my spine. Mesprit's gem shone brightly, even through all of the colors swirling about.
"You're letting me look," I said, slightly unbelieving.
"Of course! You're my Shard, so why wouldn't you be able to look? I let you utter my name, after all," Mesprit said.
Ah, so that had been intentional, then. That was… slightly reassuring, honestly.
"I have questions— if I may."
The God flicked a hand up and forcefully dragged me toward them. I felt a gentle squeeze lift me up in the air and guide me forward until they stared right into my eyes. Their skin looked so soft and glowed slightly— like porcelain. There was not a single blemish to be seen on any part of their body. Mesprit's yellow eyes shone and I saw the air to our left shift as they turned me in that direction. It was a vision, no, an image of what was going on in the real world. The five League Trainers and their grass types, frozen in time as I plunged my hand into the water.
"Before we begin," Mesprit said with a hint of playfulness. "Perhaps we should rid ourselves of these humans. What do you want me to do to them?"
My stomach dropped, and I squirmed in Mesprit's hold. "No! Don't— don't do anything."
The God frowned. "Fear? How strange. Worry not, Shard. I like you, no harm will befall you while you are here."
"Don't do anything to them. They're just here to make sure nothing goes wrong," I stammered.
"I wasn't going to kill them. Just punish them for thinking they could interfere and use it as a lesson for you."
"Lesson?" I said, cold sweat dripping to my chin. How could I convince them not to do this?
"Yes, like when I punish them for calling my name out loud," Mesprit said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "But this deserves stronger punishment, for thinking that they could interfere between me and you."
"They're not interfering."
"Of course. They cannot, but they wish they could. But seeing as you disagree, I will let them go with only a month of heartache," Mesprit declared with a flick of their wrist.
"Why—"
"The deed is done, Shard," Mesprit said. "There is no walking it back."
They let me go, and I stumbled back, still registering what had just happened. The image was no longer there now, but I knew the moment I opened my eyes again the League Trainers would be distraught. The worst part is that they'd probably think it was my fault until I could explain myself to Commander Bethany.
"Why did you do this?" I asked, my eyes wide.
"Because I wanted to. Why else?" the God asked, titling their head. "Now, let us begin."
Mesprit floated a few feet in front of me with a wide smile and spun around as they giggled.
"I've wanted to talk to you for so long! Since that fateful day, when you first came to the shores of my domain."
Focus, Grace! I screamed at myself. You had questions, so ask them. I would worry about the consequences later.
"Why so anxious? We have all the time in the world, here."
"You said you liked me, right?" I muttered.
"Of course! I haven't had a Shard in millennia! It's a special occasion!"
"Then would you please refrain from hurting anyone else," I begged. Asking something from a God wasn't exactly a wise decision, but it was all I had. "Please. It would make me like you more."
"Liar! You don't like me, you only fear and disdain me," Mesprit grumbled. "I'll remedy that."
Something went wrong.
It was difficult to describe. Like a piece of myself, having gone missing, but not being able to tell which, and then a seed was planted and slowly began to take root. I looked at Mesprit again and realized I was smiling. My cheeks felt warm, and I relaxed. I felt so content here that I didn't care what Mesprit had done to those trainers. Why had I even criticized them for it in the first place? Now they were going to hate me— and that; that was the most terrifying prospect I could think of, at the moment. Love. This was love, and it felt so real. And that quick realization came a fresh dose of horror.
"You're reacting to this all wrong!"
"Fucking fix me," I snarled. "This love— it's fake."
"Grrrr, fine. If you hadn't been a Shard, that would have worked perfectly," The Legend huffed, crossing their arms.
Another moment passed, and I felt whole again. Normal. I gasped in relief and restrained the tears that almost came. Sparing one last look at Mesprit just to make sure I was right again, I stood up and glared at them.
"You can't do that to me ever again," I demanded.
Mesprit's face fell. "You never would have been the wiser if you hadn't been a Shard. We would be laughing together right now. Granted, I could have kept going, it would have gone on for a while longer so I could pluck the right emotions away and shove in new ones to make you whole again."
I ignored the horror that crept up my skin. "It would have been fake."
"I would have made it real."
"May I be frank, Mesprit?" I said. When they nodded, I continued. "I would rather die."
I expected an outburst of anger, but instead, Mesprit gasped— which sounded way too human for my liking, and they pouted, letting out a sad hum. I was starting to understand, if only slightly. Mesprit was even more disconnected from humans than Azelf had been and genuinely didn't understand why I didn't want them to just pick and choose what I felt at will.
"If you feel so strongly about it, then I won't, and I apologize," Mesprit said. "Since I sensed emotional turmoil within you, I was going to ask if you wanted me to fix it. All of your current worries could disappear, you know?"
"Absolutely not. From this point on, please, just don't touch me."
"Only because I like you."
Arceus, what a strange fucking way to show your love, then. And of course, Mesprit knew what passed through my mind because they were the empath, but they seemed to like it better when I spoke.
"I just have questions," I said. "If I may?"
"Of course, Shard."
"Earlier, you said that you wanted to talk to me that day I first came to the lake. Does that mean I was chosen for a reason or another?"
Azelf had been very clear that Cecilia and Chase were Champions by happenstance, and I wanted to confirm if it was also the case for me. If it was, odds were, Mira wouldn't have been chosen either.
"Uxie's going to be angry if I just rob them of the joy they'd feel revealing the answer to the Shard of Knowledge," Mesprit said as they floated upside down. The first word resonated with a bit of power even if we weren't in Acuity.
"It would make me like you more if you told me."
"You speak no lie," they said after a short pause. "Very well, then. That day, when you came face to face with that empty shell of a man, I laid eyes on you and your comrade."
From what Roland Hunter had told me about Cyrus, he was the empty shell, and my comrade… was Denzel.
"I knew the empty shell planned to use us to bring an end to His creation by virtue of forewarning from Knowledge. I cannot bestow my gift to people beyond my domain while I am dormant. Only to those who are close to the space I influence or the space around my Shard itself. You were in the correct demographic. Young, a desire to travel, but most of all, there was potential already there. Beyond that? Happenstance."
"But Denzel was right next to me," I hissed. "He was right there."
Mesprit cackled. "That human is far too boring to ever hope to become my Shard. There was less potential in him, and unlike Willpower, I do not break His rules."
The sentence had ended with a sinister glare, so there was obviously still resentment there that I didn't want to touch with a ten foot pole. Still, I felt so much relief. It had been random, after all. There was so little pressure on me now. I didn't fit the mold— beyond whatever 'potential' meant. I assumed that they meant I wasn't as 'sane' as Denzel was, and I had never been. And that wasn't a good thing.
"It's a wonderful thing, Shard! Your fellow human is a dull canvas, but you? Your colors are far more vibrant than his, and they were even back then."
"Cyrus is only doing this because he can't feel anything," I challenged. "Couldn't you just fix him? Normally I wouldn't endorse it, but…"
In the first place, part of me almost thought that Cyrus' state had been Mesprit's doing—
All the air was pulled out of my lungs, and I collapsed when a crushing pressure pressed on my entire body. I hacked out as a hand went to my throat and the force of Mesprit's full presence bore down on me— no, this was not their full presence, it was the presence of their dormant self, in a fake world of their creation.
"I told you, didn't I?!" Mesprit raged— truly raged. The colors around them violently lashed out and struck at me like whips, causing stinging pain that wasn't real. "Shard or not, I won't let you suggest that I would have gone against His orders!"
"You—" I coughed, half my face buried in water that wasn't there. "You influenced the League Trainers. I thought—"
"It was nothing permanent!" the Legendary yelled, their voice reverberating against the dark. "And should they leave here, they will return to normal early!"
Then, all of the pressure winked out of existence. There was no more flaring pain on my skin, as if it had never been there at all.
"You understand now, yes? Fixing him beyond the reach of my domain would have gone against His rules. Forgive me for the outburst, Shard. I apologize."
Don't think about the rules, don't think about how shit and convoluted they are—
I couldn't stop. While I might have been able to trick Bellatrix, I couldn't trick Mesprit, and anger roiled again, this time gentler.
"Uxie would say I should not lash out against a Shard who could not know better," Mesprit said. "So you will be spared for thinking that He would be wrong in any way shape or form."
And this was Mesprit liking me? I slowly stood back up, thankful that this world wasn't real and any potential injuries I got here wouldn't translate to the real world. I caught my breath for a few seconds as Mesprit swayed their head from side to side, awaiting my next question.
"So, the other Shards," I mumbled, suddenly not as brave any longer. "They got their power— through me?"
"My siblings' domains had not seen visitors in centuries, save for that female human who lives near Knowledge," Mesprit explained far too gently for my liking. "Through you, new gifts were bestowed. There were no better options than humans you were close to, so you could communicate when the time came. My siblings picked the ones who best fit what they wanted. And so, three others became Shard— though it should have been two."
Finally, I had gotten answers to a question that had plagued our minds for so long. I nodded tightly, though my emotions betrayed me and Mesprit stared with a wide smile as they no doubt watched relief flow through me.
"Okay, thank you for the help," I said in hopes of placating them. Granted, it was useless, but I still did so out of fear anyway. "Az— Willpower said that Team Galactic somehow got a hold of your gem."
Mesprit nodded. "They sent people deep underwater, and somehow there are replicas being made through that horrifying, monstrous thing you humans created. Ditto, you call it. It helped you create that propped-up, so-called 'God', but he's a fake! And he is not welcome! He was not created by Him!"
"Mesprit," I coughed, covering my face from their anger. "You're hurting me."
"Oh, no! I'm sorry, Shard!"
The rage vanished as fast as it had come, and I drew in a raspy breath. "So— this chain, can it be destroyed?"
"It can, but it will take far more power than any Pokemon your so-called Champion has at her disposal. If it cannot be reached before completion— and trust me, Shard, the time is near— then it will take months to destroy. The whole is greater than its individual parts, because it matters."
It matters? "What do you mean by that?" I asked.
"The Red Chain is Concept, its individual parts are not," the Legendary said, as if that explained anything.
"Okay… I guess. When you say the completion is near, how far away is it?"
Luckily, since the chain was being made out of Mesprit's gems, they had an answer for me.
"A month and… two days."
Calm down. Even if they completed the chain, they would have to make it through the fortresses that surrounded the lakes, and they would need to take control of all three Guardians to go ahead with their plans. They were still on the back foot.
"And my role will be to wrest you back from their control should they breach the walls here and reach your lake, right?" I asked. "Your sibling said as much."
Mesprit nodded with a song-like hum.
"My next question is about Cyrus again," I said. "About how someone can truly be born with no emotions. I thought they were exaggerating, but if even you call him empty…"
Even Justin at his worst had felt something.
"The answer still eludes me," Mesprit said with a frown. "It is as if he was born with Knowledge and Willpower, but no Emotion, therefore he is an empty shell. The last time someone attempted to end His Creation millennia ago— your Champion's very ancestor— there was no such individual to contend with."
"Cynthia's ancestor—"
"He was quite the human. There was madness in him I have only seen a few times since. There is one, currently, who works for the empty shell. They would have both made excellent Shards, but unfortunately, they wanted to break His rules."
Before I could speak, Mesprit floated toward me until our foreheads almost touched. They would have, had I not taken a step back and nearly tripped. Their presence was still overwhelming, and the closer they were, the worse I felt.
"You had that same potential within you, and you were getting there," Mesprit grumbled. "But you hold yourself back instead of leaning into my Concept, and for what? Opinions of mere humans?"
"I'm human," I fought back.
"You are Shard," Mesprit giggled. "And this dissociation business is not something I approve of. Why be unfeeling when you can experience the beauty of emotion?"
"Well, I'm working on that one," I said. "It helps me fight efficiently."
The God stuck their tongue out at me. "Efficiency is boring. Was it not wonderful, when you saw the will to live slowly drain out of that blemish for hours? The feeling of your axe, sinking into his flesh?"
"It— it wasn't—"
"Liar! You loved it. While the Shard of Knowledge was paling and averting her eyes, you stared right into that human's eyes and relished in every moment until he took the axe and slit his own throat. Your enjoyment of that process was none of my doing, but you are avoiding your deepest wants for shallow ones."
I bit my lip. "I'm trying to change," I said in a defeated tone, my shoulders slumping. "I don't want to be like this."
"Oh, you don't care. Not really. It's your friends, but mostly, it's that girl you love, the half-Shard," Mesprit hummed. "But the powers I am about to bestow onto you could remedy this. It would not be difficult."
"Stop."
"It's just about grabbing the emotions you like and expunging the ones that you don't, slowly but surely. A little push there, a little pull there, and soon enough she'd only look at you. She would never leave you, because that is your biggest fear, Shard. Abandonment. She would love you more than she thinks possible," Mesprit said. "She will be yours. Of course, she'd fight back with her gift if you did it too abruptly, but if you do it slowly enough, she'll never be able to tell. She is only half a Shard, after all. Now that you've met me, your power will overwhelm hers."
"Stop it."
"And you'll be able to tell, because you'll be able to know what she feels at all times if you delve deep enough, and the previous Shard of Emotion loved that feeling just as much as you will, I'm sure. So long as you keep her on the path to save His Creation, Azelf will not care. They despise their two Shards anyway." They puffed up their chest proudly. "Not me, though! I like you, which is why I'm giving you all of this advice! Honestly, it serves them right for breaking His rules!"
I clenched a fist. "If I had been cornered. If I had been desperate. If they had all thrown me away," I slowly said. "I fear that I might have considered that offer for at least a few seconds, and that disgusts me," I spat. "I don't want to control people, Mesprit. You think it's fine, because you don't see the opinions of anyone who isn't me as important, but I will never rob Cecilia of her freedom. Never. Or anyone else's."
Mesprit huffed and pouted. "How dreadfully boring."
"I hope I stay boring to you my entire life," I hissed. "I want to be normal. I want to be— no, I am human."
"That ship has sailed, Shard."
"You don't get to make the decisions for me. That would be breaking His rules," I said.
My knees buckled, but I still stood, not because I had grown stronger, but because that had only been one of the gentler pressures applied to me today.
"Very well, then. This is not how I expected this to go," Mesprit sighed. "You were growing so entertaining, too."
"And I thought you'd take this a lot more seriously," I muttered.
I had been so close to the edge, hadn't I? All it would have taken was for my friends to give up on me and I would have jumped into the depths of the abyss without looking back. I probably would have ended up losing my sponsor at some point. Ended up as a recluse who everyone hated, and became someone unrecognizable. No, that was wrong. I would have been recognizable. Each step taken further down could be tracked to the day, and the staircase had a lot of steps left.
"Ah, human morality. I never did understand it," Mesprit said. "Let us move on to your new gift, then, Shard."
"I told you I wouldn't use it," I preempted. "Well, that's not right. I won't use it unless I'm about to get killed or it's needed. That, I have no qualms about."
"Pfff, I was about to say that getting into that game my sibling and that human you love were playing would be boring, thank you."
Then, Mesprit paused.
"You'll find yourself hard-pressed to use it in such a situation, Shard. You are no Concept. Being a Shard in full will allow you to tinker with your gift with much higher limits, but for you, altering someone's emotions will require focus—" Mesprit stopped. "Oh! Maybe your dissociation thing can help, although it won't help for the time you'll need. Days of carefully altering someone. Of course, you can always brute force things, but that will leave your target irreparably damaged and actually exhaust you to unconsciousness right away. Me, I could fix them, but you're only a Shard."
"How does it work? How do I do it?" I asked.
"You add, remove or mix the colors, obviously."
"Okay, but how does that work?"
"Relax! It'll come to you naturally. The more you practice, the better you'll become at it. Of course, you'll be able to affect and sense all living things."
"Not happening."
Mesprit rolled their eyes. "I thought we agreed that we weren't going to play the same game!"
"It's not a game!" I lashed out.
"You really are no fun. Azelf would love you— wait, they wouldn't, hahaha!"
"So is that it, then? Are we done?" I asked.
"Oh, but wait," Mesprit said with a devilish grin. "That human you care about who was soaked by the Dark. You could fix him."
I froze.
"Now, if you don't have anything else to add, Shard, we are done. Oh! And you'll be able to understand Pokemon in an hour tops instead of a few days. I almost forgot!"
I could… fix Justin. Make him return to normal again, and he'd be cured. All I had to do was—
"Oh, but you'll need practice. His case is quite severe. You don't want to mess him up even further, do you?" Mesprit tilted their head and smiled.
Fuck this. I decided to end that part of the conversation here. I couldn't think straight with them being the devil on my shoulder.
I ran a hand through my wet hair and sighed. "Why would you ever want to hand over this power to someone as unstable as Mars of all people? Or Cynthia's ancestor?"
"So long as they save His Creation, what do I care? They'll be dead before I can blink," Mesprit nonchalantly said. "The previous set of Shards, they carved out a niche in the world for themselves after they did. The Shard of Willpower stayed in Hisui and created an empire that collapsed as soon as she died. Emotion sailed the world, creating a cult of admirers and a religion that petered out a few generations after his death. Knowledge settled down on the mainland south of Hisui and created a city-state to rule where humanity's feats advanced leaps and bounds until she was assassinated while she slept and everything she'd worked for was lost when her village was razed to the earth and the grounds salted. Willpower's shard had sent the assassin despite having been so-called lovers during their quest to save the world, out of fear that their empire would fall behind technologically. It is all dust, Shard. Dust. And if it must be so, then I would rather be entertained for a fraction of my existence." They paused to sigh. "Without Shards, I cannot delve into the world, you see. It is boring, and interesting humans make for an interesting instant in time. Even Willpower entertained themselves with that human you love for a short while."
"We were always tools, weren't we?" I quietly said.
"It is not your fault, Shard. The Creator loves you, He truly does. You are the first of His children. But we were not imbued with that love. We are simply Concepts. He is blind to your faults, so we must peer through his blind spots, lest His Creation end."
"Fine Mesprit," I said tiredly. "I'll be a tool. I'll do what's needed when the time comes. But I can't in good conscience behave like you want me to."
"Begone, Shard. I like you less than I thought I would."
The Legendary flicked their wrist in annoyance, and I was slapped away by an invisible force. Before I could land, I was back in the real world. I inhaled sharply as the water on my wrist slid down like goo and settled back into the lake.
"Grace Pastel! Confirm that you are still with us!"
Everything was so loud, and the world was so bright. I squinted and put a hand over my eyes as I turned back toward the League Trainers. They were terrified of me, but that wasn't it. I could delve deeper, now. The shades were more precise, easier to distinguish. I tried to answer, but I had the biggest headache. The center of the base was swarming with emotions in such an overwhelming way that for a second, I couldn't even comprehend what I was looking at.
"I'm— I'm here," I said, quieter than I wanted.
Wait, hadn't Mesprit given them some kind of heartbreak? I couldn't see any signs of it here, and they were acting normally. Two of the League Trainers approached me with a careful step and grabbed me by the arm to lift me up. Had Mesprit changed their mind? I wasn't so big-headed to think that I had anything to do with it, but still, I felt thankful nonetheless. I would have told them that they only needed to leave the premises not to suffer a month of heartbreak, but it was still better this way.
They tried questioning me during the car ride back, but stopped when I started clenching at my head when we reached the activity hub of the base. I knew I could dull my powers, but this was like trying to empty an ocean with a small cup. It wasn't stopping.
"I need— I need to go somewhere without so many people," I exhaled as the car came to a stop. "This is hurting me."
Like the first few times a psychic had tried speaking into my mind, but continuous instead of a short injection of pain. They said they would have to ask Bethany about that first, and I could only muster a nod. At least they left me to sit in the car. I laid down on the backseat and wiped the sweat off my forehead. Add, remove, or mix the colors. Mesprit had been right. I hadn't done anything yet, but I could pull and push at them when I wanted to. Ripping them out of someone would take some exertion, but it was scarily intuitive, even if it would have made me pass out. Doing it slowly and over time, however? There was no limit, save for my stamina. Did they have water in here? Right, I had my backpack… my backpack. Right, I had left it in the car and it was still here. I opened it with a shaky hand and grabbed one of my water bottles. When I tried to drink, the water got all over my face and inside of my nose instead. I nearly choked on the damn thing and ended up dropping the bottle in the car.
Look at me. Given a gift by a literal God and I can't even drink water by myself.
It took a little bit for someone to come back to get me, and I was slowly but surely emptying the fucking ocean. Maybe I'd been exaggerating, really, but in an actual city, it would literally be one.
"Grace Pastel. Commander Bethany is ready for you."
"What about what I asked? Doing this somewhere else?" I asked through cold sweats.
"She has already ordered the surroundings to be cleared, including headquarters," the League Trainer said.
I pulled myself back up and carefully stepped out of the car with my crutch, wincing when a flurry of people and Pokemon passed by me. The throbbing pain dissipated when the building was emptied and I kept getting better at masking my gift. This time, Bethany had a Vileplume with her, though I didn't know if it was hers or someone else's. Aliyah was here too— with Chimecho. They both stared into my eyes and… appraised me, for lack of a better word. After around a minute, she pulled a recorder out of a drawer and turned it on.
"How was it?" Bethany finally asked.
I revealed every content of the meeting, save for when Mesprit essentially called me a psycho. This information would all be sent to Cynthia, probably. They really appreciated an actual timeline on the Red Chain, at the very least, and the fact that Mesprit was a lot more cooperative than Azelf was. Cooperative was some way to call it. My neck hair stood on end when I remembered how effortlessly Mesprit had made me love them. Continuing on, apparently my eyes were pink, although that was fading and fading quickly. Cece and Chase's eyes had been yellow after speaking to Azelf, so that made sense. The colors felt a bit odd, but I wasn't going to tell Gods what colors should signify what concept.
"Now, about your new… capabilities," Bethany asked.
"From what I understand, I can tamper with emotions. If I do it subtly, it'll take hours to days to change someone the way I want, but I can also… use a hammer instead of a scalpel, for lack of a better word, and wreck everything, but that'll make me pass out. Too much stamina used at once."
I saw fear flicker around her like a surging flame as she paled, although Aliyah was as calm as could be. It made sense. I could potentially be altering her in ways she wouldn't even understand right now, and she would be none the wiser. I would be terrified of me too. I needed to keep what Aliyah had said in mind. Me being able to know what my friends felt when they saw me would bring out my most manipulative tendencies, so I needed to keep practicing at lowering this… intensity until I could ignore it completely.
"You don't have to worry," I tried. "I won't do anything."
Bethany snorted— though it was a way to mask her fear— "Well, if you say so," she said, clearly sarcastic. "Unfortunately though, the League would like if you could… test this."
I frowned. "What?"
"It doesn't have to be something big. Maybe make someone jovial or sad for a little bit, just to confirm."
"So… who?" I muttered.
"We brought in a prisoner since we were expecting you—"
"What? You want me to experiment on some prisoner?" I scoffed. "That's… fucked up. I can't do this."
"He's one of the people who was running the fighting ring in the Game Corner," Bethany finished, tapping her fingers nervously on the desk.
My eyes narrowed. This was manipulation, and it was blatant.
"Did Cynthia make you do this?" I asked.
"No. It was my call," Bethany shrugged. "And you can always change them back to normal."
Not a lie, I noticed. Her nervousness and fear would have swelled if it was, unless she was a stone-cold liar who'd trained herself to bypass even the most powerful empaths, which I doubted she was. She'd been right that I could get them back to normal, but I wasn't confident I actually knew how yet— which I guessed was why she'd asked me to practice in the first place. My lips quivered as I struggled to get the answer out of my mouth.
Say no. Say it!
"I don't feel confident in trying anything at the moment," I said. "First, I just want to be able to stand in a crowd without dying."
I didn't miss Aliyah dipping her head at me. I could almost hear her praise from here. For Cecilia, this was the slippery slope, but I already was at the bottom of the slope and I needed to claw my way back up. There was a reason why answering no had been so difficult. Because deep down, I wanted the prisoner to suffer for what he'd done, and I wanted to be the one to do it.
But also, part of me thought that practicing on him would be a way to help Justin. I couldn't just let him be, could I?
Bethany nodded. "Fair enough. We still have some tests to run to see if any of our current methods are effective at stopping your empathy, and then you'll be free to leave."
"Okay."
Psychic barriers did nothing. Darkness dampened my view enough, but I could still peer through if I tried harder and focused. There was another thing they tried— somehow a combination of the two that they'd stolen from Abel, according to them— which almost muted their emotions, but not completely, and the longer I looked in all of these cases, the more I could see, so they wouldn't work for very long. It took nearly two hours to test everything, and by the end of it I was exhausted. Exhausted and hungry. They fed me and kept the building empty to help, but I knew that now they wanted me out of here as soon as possible.
So I obliged them and left, telling Princess about what happened while she looked for a decent spot to camp in outside of Sandgem.
I would have much to talk about with Aliyah tomorrow.
[collapse]CHAPTER 270 - Emotion
Arceus, they sounded so young. Like a child, barely over the age of six, yet capable of wielding power that boggled the mind. I stopped myself from instinctually taking a step back, instead digging my heels in whatever liquid it was that I was standing on. It was warm— too warm and comfortable.
"H—hello," I forced out. "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting."
There was a slight pause, and then a giggle. Was that good or bad? I couldn't even comprehend the emotions that were emanating off Mesprit, so I couldn't tell. There were too many— they were too large— too new, too nonsensical. Like they were feeling every possible emotion at all times, but in a grander fashion.
"Put your head up, Shard," the Legend ordered. It was a command, yet it was playful.
I winced, glancing upward and expecting the same suffocating feeling to befall me, but instead, I got a clear look at what Mesprit looked like. I didn't know if that was better or worse. Their piercing yellow eyes terrified me— shook me to my very core. Continuous shivers ran up and down my spine. Mesprit's gem shone brightly, even through all of the colors swirling about.
"You're letting me look," I said, slightly unbelieving.
"Of course! You're my Shard, so why wouldn't you be able to look? I let you utter my name, after all," Mesprit said.
Ah, so that had been intentional, then. That was… slightly reassuring, honestly.
"I have questions— if I may."
The God flicked a hand up and forcefully dragged me toward them. I felt a gentle squeeze lift me up in the air and guide me forward until they stared right into my eyes. Their skin looked so soft and glowed slightly— like porcelain. There was not a single blemish to be seen on any part of their body. Mesprit's yellow eyes shone and I saw the air to our left shift as they turned me in that direction. It was a vision, no, an image of what was going on in the real world. The five League Trainers and their grass types, frozen in time as I plunged my hand into the water.
"Before we begin," Mesprit said with a hint of playfulness. "Perhaps we should rid ourselves of these humans. What do you want me to do to them?"
My stomach dropped, and I squirmed in Mesprit's hold. "No! Don't— don't do anything."
The God frowned. "Fear? How strange. Worry not, Shard. I like you, no harm will befall you while you are here."
"Don't do anything to them. They're just here to make sure nothing goes wrong," I stammered.
"I wasn't going to kill them. Just punish them for thinking they could interfere and use it as a lesson for you."
"Lesson?" I said, cold sweat dripping to my chin. How could I convince them not to do this?
"Yes, like when I punish them for calling my name out loud," Mesprit said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "But this deserves stronger punishment, for thinking that they could interfere between me and you."
"They're not interfering."
"Of course. They cannot, but they wish they could. But seeing as you disagree, I will let them go with only a month of heartache," Mesprit declared with a flick of their wrist.
"Why—"
"The deed is done, Shard," Mesprit said. "There is no walking it back."
They let me go, and I stumbled back, still registering what had just happened. The image was no longer there now, but I knew the moment I opened my eyes again the League Trainers would be distraught. The worst part is that they'd probably think it was my fault until I could explain myself to Commander Bethany.
"Why did you do this?" I asked, my eyes wide.
"Because I wanted to. Why else?" the God asked, titling their head. "Now, let us begin."
Mesprit floated a few feet in front of me with a wide smile and spun around as they giggled.
"I've wanted to talk to you for so long! Since that fateful day, when you first came to the shores of my domain."
Focus, Grace! I screamed at myself. You had questions, so ask them. I would worry about the consequences later.
"Why so anxious? We have all the time in the world, here."
"You said you liked me, right?" I muttered.
"Of course! I haven't had a Shard in millennia! It's a special occasion!"
"Then would you please refrain from hurting anyone else," I begged. Asking something from a God wasn't exactly a wise decision, but it was all I had. "Please. It would make me like you more."
"Liar! You don't like me, you only fear and disdain me," Mesprit grumbled. "I'll remedy that."
Something went wrong.
It was difficult to describe. Like a piece of myself, having gone missing, but not being able to tell which, and then a seed was planted and slowly began to take root. I looked at Mesprit again and realized I was smiling. My cheeks felt warm, and I relaxed. I felt so content here that I didn't care what Mesprit had done to those trainers. Why had I even criticized them for it in the first place? Now they were going to hate me— and that; that was the most terrifying prospect I could think of, at the moment. Love. This was love, and it felt so real. And that quick realization came a fresh dose of horror.
"You're reacting to this all wrong!"
"Fucking fix me," I snarled. "This love— it's fake."
"Grrrr, fine. If you hadn't been a Shard, that would have worked perfectly," The Legend huffed, crossing their arms.
Another moment passed, and I felt whole again. Normal. I gasped in relief and restrained the tears that almost came. Sparing one last look at Mesprit just to make sure I was right again, I stood up and glared at them.
"You can't do that to me ever again," I demanded.
Mesprit's face fell. "You never would have been the wiser if you hadn't been a Shard. We would be laughing together right now. Granted, I could have kept going, it would have gone on for a while longer so I could pluck the right emotions away and shove in new ones to make you whole again."
I ignored the horror that crept up my skin. "It would have been fake."
"I would have made it real."
"May I be frank, Mesprit?" I said. When they nodded, I continued. "I would rather die."
I expected an outburst of anger, but instead, Mesprit gasped— which sounded way too human for my liking, and they pouted, letting out a sad hum. I was starting to understand, if only slightly. Mesprit was even more disconnected from humans than Azelf had been and genuinely didn't understand why I didn't want them to just pick and choose what I felt at will.
"If you feel so strongly about it, then I won't, and I apologize," Mesprit said. "Since I sensed emotional turmoil within you, I was going to ask if you wanted me to fix it. All of your current worries could disappear, you know?"
"Absolutely not. From this point on, please, just don't touch me."
"Only because I like you."
Arceus, what a strange fucking way to show your love, then. And of course, Mesprit knew what passed through my mind because they were the empath, but they seemed to like it better when I spoke.
"I just have questions," I said. "If I may?"
"Of course, Shard."
"Earlier, you said that you wanted to talk to me that day I first came to the lake. Does that mean I was chosen for a reason or another?"
Azelf had been very clear that Cecilia and Chase were Champions by happenstance, and I wanted to confirm if it was also the case for me. If it was, odds were, Mira wouldn't have been chosen either.
"Uxie's going to be angry if I just rob them of the joy they'd feel revealing the answer to the Shard of Knowledge," Mesprit said as they floated upside down. The first word resonated with a bit of power even if we weren't in Acuity.
"It would make me like you more if you told me."
"You speak no lie," they said after a short pause. "Very well, then. That day, when you came face to face with that empty shell of a man, I laid eyes on you and your comrade."
From what Roland Hunter had told me about Cyrus, he was the empty shell, and my comrade… was Denzel.
"I knew the empty shell planned to use us to bring an end to His creation by virtue of forewarning from Knowledge. I cannot bestow my gift to people beyond my domain while I am dormant. Only to those who are close to the space I influence or the space around my Shard itself. You were in the correct demographic. Young, a desire to travel, but most of all, there was potential already there. Beyond that? Happenstance."
"But Denzel was right next to me," I hissed. "He was right there."
Mesprit cackled. "That human is far too boring to ever hope to become my Shard. There was less potential in him, and unlike Willpower, I do not break His rules."
The sentence had ended with a sinister glare, so there was obviously still resentment there that I didn't want to touch with a ten foot pole. Still, I felt so much relief. It had been random, after all. There was so little pressure on me now. I didn't fit the mold— beyond whatever 'potential' meant. I assumed that they meant I wasn't as 'sane' as Denzel was, and I had never been. And that wasn't a good thing.
"It's a wonderful thing, Shard! Your fellow human is a dull canvas, but you? Your colors are far more vibrant than his, and they were even back then."
"Cyrus is only doing this because he can't feel anything," I challenged. "Couldn't you just fix him? Normally I wouldn't endorse it, but…"
In the first place, part of me almost thought that Cyrus' state had been Mesprit's doing—
All the air was pulled out of my lungs, and I collapsed when a crushing pressure pressed on my entire body. I hacked out as a hand went to my throat and the force of Mesprit's full presence bore down on me— no, this was not their full presence, it was the presence of their dormant self, in a fake world of their creation.
"I told you, didn't I?!" Mesprit raged— truly raged. The colors around them violently lashed out and struck at me like whips, causing stinging pain that wasn't real. "Shard or not, I won't let you suggest that I would have gone against His orders!"
"You—" I coughed, half my face buried in water that wasn't there. "You influenced the League Trainers. I thought—"
"It was nothing permanent!" the Legendary yelled, their voice reverberating against the dark. "And should they leave here, they will return to normal early!"
Then, all of the pressure winked out of existence. There was no more flaring pain on my skin, as if it had never been there at all.
"You understand now, yes? Fixing him beyond the reach of my domain would have gone against His rules. Forgive me for the outburst, Shard. I apologize."
Don't think about the rules, don't think about how shit and convoluted they are—
I couldn't stop. While I might have been able to trick Bellatrix, I couldn't trick Mesprit, and anger roiled again, this time gentler.
"Uxie would say I should not lash out against a Shard who could not know better," Mesprit said. "So you will be spared for thinking that He would be wrong in any way shape or form."
And this was Mesprit liking me? I slowly stood back up, thankful that this world wasn't real and any potential injuries I got here wouldn't translate to the real world. I caught my breath for a few seconds as Mesprit swayed their head from side to side, awaiting my next question.
"So, the other Shards," I mumbled, suddenly not as brave any longer. "They got their power— through me?"
"My siblings' domains had not seen visitors in centuries, save for that female human who lives near Knowledge," Mesprit explained far too gently for my liking. "Through you, new gifts were bestowed. There were no better options than humans you were close to, so you could communicate when the time came. My siblings picked the ones who best fit what they wanted. And so, three others became Shard— though it should have been two."
Finally, I had gotten answers to a question that had plagued our minds for so long. I nodded tightly, though my emotions betrayed me and Mesprit stared with a wide smile as they no doubt watched relief flow through me.
"Okay, thank you for the help," I said in hopes of placating them. Granted, it was useless, but I still did so out of fear anyway. "Az— Willpower said that Team Galactic somehow got a hold of your gem."
Mesprit nodded. "They sent people deep underwater, and somehow there are replicas being made through that horrifying, monstrous thing you humans created. Ditto, you call it. It helped you create that propped-up, so-called 'God', but he's a fake! And he is not welcome! He was not created by Him!"
"Mesprit," I coughed, covering my face from their anger. "You're hurting me."
"Oh, no! I'm sorry, Shard!"
The rage vanished as fast as it had come, and I drew in a raspy breath. "So— this chain, can it be destroyed?"
"It can, but it will take far more power than any Pokemon your so-called Champion has at her disposal. If it cannot be reached before completion— and trust me, Shard, the time is near— then it will take months to destroy. The whole is greater than its individual parts, because it matters."
It matters? "What do you mean by that?" I asked.
"The Red Chain is Concept, its individual parts are not," the Legendary said, as if that explained anything.
"Okay… I guess. When you say the completion is near, how far away is it?"
Luckily, since the chain was being made out of Mesprit's gems, they had an answer for me.
"A month and… two days."
Calm down. Even if they completed the chain, they would have to make it through the fortresses that surrounded the lakes, and they would need to take control of all three Guardians to go ahead with their plans. They were still on the back foot.
"And my role will be to wrest you back from their control should they breach the walls here and reach your lake, right?" I asked. "Your sibling said as much."
Mesprit nodded with a song-like hum.
"My next question is about Cyrus again," I said. "About how someone can truly be born with no emotions. I thought they were exaggerating, but if even you call him empty…"
Even Justin at his worst had felt something.
"The answer still eludes me," Mesprit said with a frown. "It is as if he was born with Knowledge and Willpower, but no Emotion, therefore he is an empty shell. The last time someone attempted to end His Creation millennia ago— your Champion's very ancestor— there was no such individual to contend with."
"Cynthia's ancestor—"
"He was quite the human. There was madness in him I have only seen a few times since. There is one, currently, who works for the empty shell. They would have both made excellent Shards, but unfortunately, they wanted to break His rules."
Before I could speak, Mesprit floated toward me until our foreheads almost touched. They would have, had I not taken a step back and nearly tripped. Their presence was still overwhelming, and the closer they were, the worse I felt.
"You had that same potential within you, and you were getting there," Mesprit grumbled. "But you hold yourself back instead of leaning into my Concept, and for what? Opinions of mere humans?"
"I'm human," I fought back.
"You are Shard," Mesprit giggled. "And this dissociation business is not something I approve of. Why be unfeeling when you can experience the beauty of emotion?"
"Well, I'm working on that one," I said. "It helps me fight efficiently."
The God stuck their tongue out at me. "Efficiency is boring. Was it not wonderful, when you saw the will to live slowly drain out of that blemish for hours? The feeling of your axe, sinking into his flesh?"
"It— it wasn't—"
"Liar! You loved it. While the Shard of Knowledge was paling and averting her eyes, you stared right into that human's eyes and relished in every moment until he took the axe and slit his own throat. Your enjoyment of that process was none of my doing, but you are avoiding your deepest wants for shallow ones."
I bit my lip. "I'm trying to change," I said in a defeated tone, my shoulders slumping. "I don't want to be like this."
"Oh, you don't care. Not really. It's your friends, but mostly, it's that girl you love, the half-Shard," Mesprit hummed. "But the powers I am about to bestow onto you could remedy this. It would not be difficult."
"Stop."
"It's just about grabbing the emotions you like and expunging the ones that you don't, slowly but surely. A little push there, a little pull there, and soon enough she'd only look at you. She would never leave you, because that is your biggest fear, Shard. Abandonment. She would love you more than she thinks possible," Mesprit said. "She will be yours. Of course, she'd fight back with her gift if you did it too abruptly, but if you do it slowly enough, she'll never be able to tell. She is only half a Shard, after all. Now that you've met me, your power will overwhelm hers."
"Stop it."
"And you'll be able to tell, because you'll be able to know what she feels at all times if you delve deep enough, and the previous Shard of Emotion loved that feeling just as much as you will, I'm sure. So long as you keep her on the path to save His Creation, Azelf will not care. They despise their two Shards anyway." They puffed up their chest proudly. "Not me, though! I like you, which is why I'm giving you all of this advice! Honestly, it serves them right for breaking His rules!"
I clenched a fist. "If I had been cornered. If I had been desperate. If they had all thrown me away," I slowly said. "I fear that I might have considered that offer for at least a few seconds, and that disgusts me," I spat. "I don't want to control people, Mesprit. You think it's fine, because you don't see the opinions of anyone who isn't me as important, but I will never rob Cecilia of her freedom. Never. Or anyone else's."
Mesprit huffed and pouted. "How dreadfully boring."
"I hope I stay boring to you my entire life," I hissed. "I want to be normal. I want to be— no, I am human."
"That ship has sailed, Shard."
"You don't get to make the decisions for me. That would be breaking His rules," I said.
My knees buckled, but I still stood, not because I had grown stronger, but because that had only been one of the gentler pressures applied to me today.
"Very well, then. This is not how I expected this to go," Mesprit sighed. "You were growing so entertaining, too."
"And I thought you'd take this a lot more seriously," I muttered.
I had been so close to the edge, hadn't I? All it would have taken was for my friends to give up on me and I would have jumped into the depths of the abyss without looking back. I probably would have ended up losing my sponsor at some point. Ended up as a recluse who everyone hated, and became someone unrecognizable. No, that was wrong. I would have been recognizable. Each step taken further down could be tracked to the day, and the staircase had a lot of steps left.
"Ah, human morality. I never did understand it," Mesprit said. "Let us move on to your new gift, then, Shard."
"I told you I wouldn't use it," I preempted. "Well, that's not right. I won't use it unless I'm about to get killed or it's needed. That, I have no qualms about."
"Pfff, I was about to say that getting into that game my sibling and that human you love were playing would be boring, thank you."
Then, Mesprit paused.
"You'll find yourself hard-pressed to use it in such a situation, Shard. You are no Concept. Being a Shard in full will allow you to tinker with your gift with much higher limits, but for you, altering someone's emotions will require focus—" Mesprit stopped. "Oh! Maybe your dissociation thing can help, although it won't help for the time you'll need. Days of carefully altering someone. Of course, you can always brute force things, but that will leave your target irreparably damaged and actually exhaust you to unconsciousness right away. Me, I could fix them, but you're only a Shard."
"How does it work? How do I do it?" I asked.
"You add, remove or mix the colors, obviously."
"Okay, but how does that work?"
"Relax! It'll come to you naturally. The more you practice, the better you'll become at it. Of course, you'll be able to affect and sense all living things."
"Not happening."
Mesprit rolled their eyes. "I thought we agreed that we weren't going to play the same game!"
"It's not a game!" I lashed out.
"You really are no fun. Azelf would love you— wait, they wouldn't, hahaha!"
"So is that it, then? Are we done?" I asked.
"Oh, but wait," Mesprit said with a devilish grin. "That human you care about who was soaked by the Dark. You could fix him."
I froze.
"Now, if you don't have anything else to add, Shard, we are done. Oh! And you'll be able to understand Pokemon in an hour tops instead of a few days. I almost forgot!"
I could… fix Justin. Make him return to normal again, and he'd be cured. All I had to do was—
"Oh, but you'll need practice. His case is quite severe. You don't want to mess him up even further, do you?" Mesprit tilted their head and smiled.
Fuck this. I decided to end that part of the conversation here. I couldn't think straight with them being the devil on my shoulder.
I ran a hand through my wet hair and sighed. "Why would you ever want to hand over this power to someone as unstable as Mars of all people? Or Cynthia's ancestor?"
"So long as they save His Creation, what do I care? They'll be dead before I can blink," Mesprit nonchalantly said. "The previous set of Shards, they carved out a niche in the world for themselves after they did. The Shard of Willpower stayed in Hisui and created an empire that collapsed as soon as she died. Emotion sailed the world, creating a cult of admirers and a religion that petered out a few generations after his death. Knowledge settled down on the mainland south of Hisui and created a city-state to rule where humanity's feats advanced leaps and bounds until she was assassinated while she slept and everything she'd worked for was lost when her village was razed to the earth and the grounds salted. Willpower's shard had sent the assassin despite having been so-called lovers during their quest to save the world, out of fear that their empire would fall behind technologically. It is all dust, Shard. Dust. And if it must be so, then I would rather be entertained for a fraction of my existence." They paused to sigh. "Without Shards, I cannot delve into the world, you see. It is boring, and interesting humans make for an interesting instant in time. Even Willpower entertained themselves with that human you love for a short while."
"We were always tools, weren't we?" I quietly said.
"It is not your fault, Shard. The Creator loves you, He truly does. You are the first of His children. But we were not imbued with that love. We are simply Concepts. He is blind to your faults, so we must peer through his blind spots, lest His Creation end."
"Fine Mesprit," I said tiredly. "I'll be a tool. I'll do what's needed when the time comes. But I can't in good conscience behave like you want me to."
"Begone, Shard. I like you less than I thought I would."
The Legendary flicked their wrist in annoyance, and I was slapped away by an invisible force. Before I could land, I was back in the real world. I inhaled sharply as the water on my wrist slid down like goo and settled back into the lake.
"Grace Pastel! Confirm that you are still with us!"
Everything was so loud, and the world was so bright. I squinted and put a hand over my eyes as I turned back toward the League Trainers. They were terrified of me, but that wasn't it. I could delve deeper, now. The shades were more precise, easier to distinguish. I tried to answer, but I had the biggest headache. The center of the base was swarming with emotions in such an overwhelming way that for a second, I couldn't even comprehend what I was looking at.
"I'm— I'm here," I said, quieter than I wanted.
Wait, hadn't Mesprit given them some kind of heartbreak? I couldn't see any signs of it here, and they were acting normally. Two of the League Trainers approached me with a careful step and grabbed me by the arm to lift me up. Had Mesprit changed their mind? I wasn't so big-headed to think that I had anything to do with it, but still, I felt thankful nonetheless. I would have told them that they only needed to leave the premises not to suffer a month of heartbreak, but it was still better this way.
They tried questioning me during the car ride back, but stopped when I started clenching at my head when we reached the activity hub of the base. I knew I could dull my powers, but this was like trying to empty an ocean with a small cup. It wasn't stopping.
"I need— I need to go somewhere without so many people," I exhaled as the car came to a stop. "This is hurting me."
Like the first few times a psychic had tried speaking into my mind, but continuous instead of a short injection of pain. They said they would have to ask Bethany about that first, and I could only muster a nod. At least they left me to sit in the car. I laid down on the backseat and wiped the sweat off my forehead. Add, remove, or mix the colors. Mesprit had been right. I hadn't done anything yet, but I could pull and push at them when I wanted to. Ripping them out of someone would take some exertion, but it was scarily intuitive, even if it would have made me pass out. Doing it slowly and over time, however? There was no limit, save for my stamina. Did they have water in here? Right, I had my backpack… my backpack. Right, I had left it in the car and it was still here. I opened it with a shaky hand and grabbed one of my water bottles. When I tried to drink, the water got all over my face and inside of my nose instead. I nearly choked on the damn thing and ended up dropping the bottle in the car.
Look at me. Given a gift by a literal God and I can't even drink water by myself.
It took a little bit for someone to come back to get me, and I was slowly but surely emptying the fucking ocean. Maybe I'd been exaggerating, really, but in an actual city, it would literally be one.
"Grace Pastel. Commander Bethany is ready for you."
"What about what I asked? Doing this somewhere else?" I asked through cold sweats.
"She has already ordered the surroundings to be cleared, including headquarters," the League Trainer said.
I pulled myself back up and carefully stepped out of the car with my crutch, wincing when a flurry of people and Pokemon passed by me. The throbbing pain dissipated when the building was emptied and I kept getting better at masking my gift. This time, Bethany had a Vileplume with her, though I didn't know if it was hers or someone else's. Aliyah was here too— with Chimecho. They both stared into my eyes and… appraised me, for lack of a better word. After around a minute, she pulled a recorder out of a drawer and turned it on.
"How was it?" Bethany finally asked.
I revealed every content of the meeting, save for when Mesprit essentially called me a psycho. This information would all be sent to Cynthia, probably. They really appreciated an actual timeline on the Red Chain, at the very least, and the fact that Mesprit was a lot more cooperative than Azelf was. Cooperative was some way to call it. My neck hair stood on end when I remembered how effortlessly Mesprit had made me love them. Continuing on, apparently my eyes were pink, although that was fading and fading quickly. Cece and Chase's eyes had been yellow after speaking to Azelf, so that made sense. The colors felt a bit odd, but I wasn't going to tell Gods what colors should signify what concept.
"Now, about your new… capabilities," Bethany asked.
"From what I understand, I can tamper with emotions. If I do it subtly, it'll take hours to days to change someone the way I want, but I can also… use a hammer instead of a scalpel, for lack of a better word, and wreck everything, but that'll make me pass out. Too much stamina used at once."
I saw fear flicker around her like a surging flame as she paled, although Aliyah was as calm as could be. It made sense. I could potentially be altering her in ways she wouldn't even understand right now, and she would be none the wiser. I would be terrified of me too. I needed to keep what Aliyah had said in mind. Me being able to know what my friends felt when they saw me would bring out my most manipulative tendencies, so I needed to keep practicing at lowering this… intensity until I could ignore it completely.
"You don't have to worry," I tried. "I won't do anything."
Bethany snorted— though it was a way to mask her fear— "Well, if you say so," she said, clearly sarcastic. "Unfortunately though, the League would like if you could… test this."
I frowned. "What?"
"It doesn't have to be something big. Maybe make someone jovial or sad for a little bit, just to confirm."
"So… who?" I muttered.
"We brought in a prisoner since we were expecting you—"
"What? You want me to experiment on some prisoner?" I scoffed. "That's… fucked up. I can't do this."
"He's one of the people who was running the fighting ring in the Game Corner," Bethany finished, tapping her fingers nervously on the desk.
My eyes narrowed. This was manipulation, and it was blatant.
"Did Cynthia make you do this?" I asked.
"No. It was my call," Bethany shrugged. "And you can always change them back to normal."
Not a lie, I noticed. Her nervousness and fear would have swelled if it was, unless she was a stone-cold liar who'd trained herself to bypass even the most powerful empaths, which I doubted she was. She'd been right that I could get them back to normal, but I wasn't confident I actually knew how yet— which I guessed was why she'd asked me to practice in the first place. My lips quivered as I struggled to get the answer out of my mouth.
Say no. Say it!
"I don't feel confident in trying anything at the moment," I said. "First, I just want to be able to stand in a crowd without dying."
I didn't miss Aliyah dipping her head at me. I could almost hear her praise from here. For Cecilia, this was the slippery slope, but I already was at the bottom of the slope and I needed to claw my way back up. There was a reason why answering no had been so difficult. Because deep down, I wanted the prisoner to suffer for what he'd done, and I wanted to be the one to do it.
But also, part of me thought that practicing on him would be a way to help Justin. I couldn't just let him be, could I?
Bethany nodded. "Fair enough. We still have some tests to run to see if any of our current methods are effective at stopping your empathy, and then you'll be free to leave."
"Okay."
Psychic barriers did nothing. Darkness dampened my view enough, but I could still peer through if I tried harder and focused. There was another thing they tried— somehow a combination of the two that they'd stolen from Abel, according to them— which almost muted their emotions, but not completely, and the longer I looked in all of these cases, the more I could see, so they wouldn't work for very long. It took nearly two hours to test everything, and by the end of it I was exhausted. Exhausted and hungry. They fed me and kept the building empty to help, but I knew that now they wanted me out of here as soon as possible.
So I obliged them and left, telling Princess about what happened while she looked for a decent spot to camp in outside of Sandgem.
I would have much to talk about with Aliyah tomorrow.
Soussouni TEAM
SpoilerTogekiss/Princess (Hustle) - Pound, Sweet Kiss, Growl, Headbutt, Fairy Wind, Ancient Power, Extrasensory, Thunder Wave, Air Cutter, Wish, Psychic, Shadow Ball, Dazzling Gleam, Moonblast, Charge Beam, Air Slash, Mystical Fire, Tri-Attack
Jellicent/Buddy (Water Absorb) - Bubblebeam, Night Shade, Absorb, Water Sport, Water Pulse, Hex, Poison Sting, Mist, Acid Armor, Shadow Ball, Recover, Brine, Whirlpool, Hydro Pump, Water Spout, Acid, Will-O-Wisp, Ice Beam, Taunt, Water Cloak, Scald
Electivire/Honey (Motor Drive) - Thundershock, Swift, Electric Swift, Thunder Punch, Charge, Leer, Ice Punch, Thunderbolt, Discharge, Fire Punch, Protect, Cross Chop, Thunder, Low-Kick, Screech, Radiant Leap, Static Shield, Bulldoze
Tangrowth/Angel (Chlorophyll) - Vine Whip, Absorb, Mega Drain, Stun Spore, Bind, Poison Powder, Leech Seed, Ancient Power, Power Whip, Knock Off, Sunny Day, Giga Drain, Sleep Powder, Solar Beam, Solar Blade, Brick Break, Ingrain
Tyranitar/Sweetheart (Sand Stream) - Leer, Tackle, Horn Attack, Rock Throw, Payback, Stomping Tantrum, Smack Down, Bite, Rock Slide, Crunch, Sandstorm, Iron Defense, Dragon Pulse, Iron Head, Earthbreaker, Aerial Ace, Stone Edge, Dark Pulse
Turtonator/Sunshine (Shell Armor) - Smog, Ember, Smokescreen, Incinerate, Iron Defense, Flamethrower, Shell Trap, Dragon Pulse, Bulldoze, Scorching Sands, Rock Tomb, Body Slam, Flash Cannon, Solar Beam, Rapid Spin, Scale Shot, Iron Tail, Focus Blast, Sunny Day, Fire Pillar, Flame Charge
Mudsdale (Temporary/Not a battler)
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