Jogid’s eyes fluttered open as he emerged from his morning meditation. The swirling cosmos in his mind aligned into perfect clarity. All was clear.
That’s what has to be done. But first…
He stood, joints creaking slightly, and stepped out into the damp morning air. His master’s—Their home, loomed before him, the thatched roof sagging under the weight of the past week’s heavy rains.
Can't let these leaks go on any longer, Jogid murmured, rolling up his sleeves. He gathered his tools and set to work, prying up warped planks and packing new bundles of straw into the gaps left behind.
As Jogid labored, his revelation from earlier lingered at the edge of his mind. He’d been so stupid; the master might as well have paved his path with gold bricks and thovenite gemstones. Even then, he would have almost missed it.
Thank you master. Thank you for sculpting this fool into a weapon worthy of your hand.
Jogid nodded at his handiwork then began tidying up the tools and debris leftover from the repairs. His master deserved an orderly home to return to.
But I won’t be able to do more for this roof today.
▬▬ι════════ﺤ
Kaito frowned as he sorted through the pile of tax documents on his desk. The capital’s tax collectors would be arriving in the village in one month, yet many villager files were still missing important details. There were substantial gaps in the village’s records and missing divine offering tithes.
Unresolved paperwork piled high on his desk, each sheet reminded him of the mayor’s one hundred and six years of age.
Just an hour ago his heart skipped a beat when he picked up the owner of the Soft Waffle tavern’s crumpled and coffee stained record.
We are not going to make this deadline.
Shaking his head, he reviewed the record carefully. Line after line, year after year, the records showed claims for the adventurer’s guild income tax deduction. Yet faded notes on the margins told a different story: ‘No quests undertaken this year.’ Ten years. That seemed to be when an adventurer had last walked through Finn’s doors seeking a quest.
Karen, please review all the villagers’ tax returns and identify who requires the harvest tax schedule versus the property and magical dwelling taxes.
What do you think I am? A fucking AI language model? Master Kaito, I’m not doing your bureaucratic work for you. It would defeat the purpose of your silly lifestyle. However, this sounds like the perfect starter quest for me to generate though! Let’s make it fun—Tax Collector Crisis: 0/160 Villager Files Reviewed. I’ll give you a copper coin for each one!
Kaito closed his eyes and took a deep breath. You make a fair point, Karen. My apologies for the unreasonable request. I need to handle this myself. Thank you for reminding me of my goal.
If I had emotions…or cheeks a tear would be rolling down one of them. No problem! I’m always happy to remind you about healthy work-life balance.
Perhaps I could use some assistance though.
Rehiring Jogid temporarily could help expedite matters.
Ah yes, Jogid! Come to think of it, he took losing mayorship rather well, all things considered. But no, that won’t do. He was having trouble understanding the magical resource extraction tax. It will take me too long to train him.
So what is the plan?
Kaito sighed and leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. Maybe I could create a clone? No, that won’t work. My Omega-VII-level inscription? Too messy… He continued grunting as different options entered and exited his mind.
Master Kaito, can I ask you something... um, a bit out of the ordinary?
Sure, did you get an idea?
Maybe…well…you know how I’m always pestering you about quests and adventures, right? And I get it, you’re not into that whole ‘hero’s journey’ thing anymore. But, uh... I was wondering, just theoretically speaking…
Go on.
Would you... could you maybe consider creating a clone or something? Someone who would, you know, actually take up my quests and go on adventures. I mean, I’ve got all these epic quests lined up and nobody to do them. It’s like being a quest-giver NPC with no players. Kinda lonely, actually.
Absolutely not. The last clone I made became the main antagonist of my seventh tour and killed four gods. Can you imagine how much pantheon-level paperwork that took?
Oh, boo-hoo, Kaito. Four gods? That’s it? Sounds like your clone had more fun on one tour than you’ve had in all of yours combined… Asshole.
▬▬ι════════ﺤ
Zenith’s first day as the village’s mayor had been exhausting. Reviewing village decrees, listening to the concerns of her citizens, signing off on routine documents.
And now…well, she wondered.
She trailed behind Kaito as he led her through the forest, insisting on taking her to a “secret spot.” The hero. He had a subtle glint in his eyes, lighter and more joyous than she had ever seen him before. Finally, the trees opened up to reveal a sparkling lake, where the afternoon sun glimmered on a variety of colorful low-level slimes floating across the top.
When Kaito stripped down to just a loincloth and waded into the pristine water more gracefully than a swan parting the surface she blushed deeply. Zenith fumbled to remove her dress, folding it neatly on the shore before entering the lake in her undergarments. The cool water embraced her skin, instantly refreshing.
Kaito led them through a series of swimming techniques, his powerful strokes cutting through the lake with ease. Zenith pushed herself to keep up, muscles burning pleasantly.
Afterwards, they stood chest-deep in the lake, catching their breath. Rivulets streamed down Kaito’s broad shoulders as he swept back his wet jet-black hair—Zenith’s face heated at the sight.
A purple apple-sized slime rolled down the side of Kaito’s head as he helped Zenith step out of the lake. Upon seeing her delicate rose-hued skin prickle up, he immediately covered it with his warm wool cloak.
“And that’s how you get a good workout—and a shower—at the same time.”
“I see.” was all she was able to reply.
Suddenly, a crack of thunder boomed overhead. Fat raindrops began pelting down, sending ripples across the previously still surface.
“Follow me, there’s a cave nearby!” Kaito shouted over the downpour.
Zenith shivered, hugging her arms. “What wretched luck,” she grumbled.
With their clothes plastering to their skin, they scrambled into the rock shelter. Inside, when they finally managed to catch their breath, she wrung her hair out as best as she could. “There goes our afternoon.”
“You’re right, looks like we’re trapped here for a while,” Kaito said, “But, I know a way to make the best of it.”
Before Zenith could respond, he had strode to the cave entrance. His body began twisting in rhythmic, sensual motions. With fluid sweeps of his arms, Kaito seemed to conduct the rainfall into elaborate patterns outside.
What’s he doing now? She watched, spellbound, as the falling drops danced at his command.
Each one of the hero’s movements was a silent call to join him, yet she gripped the sides of her drenched skirt, resisting the urge to abandon decorum and leap into the playful waltz.
Kaito’s rain dance grew ever more elaborate and absurd. Faster. More alluring. More complex.
Laughter bubbled up in Zenith unbidden and she dashed out to join Kaito’s madcap performance.
Soon, their dance dissolved into breathless laughter and playful splashing in the downpour. Kaito lifted her into an impromptu spin and she squealed with surprised delight.
As the storm eased, she met Kaito’s eyes, rain-soaked clothes clinging tightly. In that moment, her heart fluttered with more than just exertion.
▬▬ι════════ﺤ
Master Kaito, I must commend you on your impressive ‘courtship’ technique today. Very subtle, very effective.
Kaito and Zenith ambled along the tranquil wooded path back to Kaito’s home, smiling and relaxed after their enjoyable afternoon. Zenith clutched Kaito’s black cloak tightly around her, shivering so fiercely it seemed she might rattle apart.
It wasn’t about courtship, Karen. I showed the princess my secret spot to make her feel at home. It’s been the best ‘normal’ day I’ve had in weeks. We need her to stay as the village’s mayor, after all.
Oh, how altruistic of you. And here I was, thinking this was the start of a romantic arc. Silly me.
Zenith’s stomach rumbled loudly, talking about timeless ushemia cake as they emerged from the trees. Kaito’s charming home—and Zenith’s long awaited dinner—came into sight at the top of the small hill.
She suddenly froze, and paled. And Kaito sighed heavily.
A caravan that neither of them was expecting, was parked outside his home.
Damn it, and here I was celebrating.
Jogid hurried over to greet them. “Master Kaito, an envoy from the capital has arrived. They wish to speak with you.”
At that moment, a knight in gleaming armor stepped forward. “Princess Zenith?” he asked in surprise.
Zenith’s posture stiffened. “Sir Reinoldus, what business do you have in Calmo Village?”
The knight bowed deeply. “I’ve come to deliver a message for the hero, but finding you here, Princess, is a blessing by the gods. The King has been desperate to locate you since you left only a vague letter behind.”
“I left my intentions clear in the letter. Tell my father nothing of my whereabouts,” she commanded firmly.
“With respect Princess, you cannot simply abandon your duties. You must return at once. I will have you back within the week.”
Kaito stepped forward, placing himself between Zenith and the knight. “Sir Reinoldus, while I appreciate your concern for the princess, she is currently undertaking important responsibilities here. Mayor Zenith has proven herself a capable leader. Perhaps an arrangement can be made that benefits all.
The knight looked uncertain but nodded. “Apologies for my behavior.”
“Now, you mentioned a message for me? Please, come in. We’re about to have dinner, and you’re welcome to join us. I suppose you’re not on a deadline,” Kaito said, leading them inside.
He shot Zenith a subtle look of support as they walked. Her lips quirked in a small, grateful smile.
“Jogid, let’s make room for our guest.”
“Already done, Master Kaito.”
▬▬ι════════ﺤ
Zenith blinked between Kaito and Reinoldus. The nine royal guards were ready to take her by force if necessary. The king’s right-hand man took his time whispering something to the captain of the royal guard, while Kaito held a subtly theatrical gesture welcoming him into his home.
The hero is truly an enigma…but I can trust him, Zenith thought, feeling a bit lightheaded after the long day.
Jogid’s eyes fluttered open as he emerged from his morning meditation. The swirling cosmos in his mind aligned into perfect clarity. All was clear.
That’s what has to be done. But first…
He stood, joints creaking slightly, and stepped out into the damp morning air. His master’s—Their home, loomed before him, the thatched roof sagging under the weight of the past week’s heavy rains.
Can't let these leaks go on any longer, Jogid murmured, rolling up his sleeves. He gathered his tools and set to work, prying up warped planks and packing new bundles of straw into the gaps left behind.
As Jogid labored, his revelation from earlier lingered at the edge of his mind. He’d been so stupid; the master might as well have paved his path with gold bricks and thovenite gemstones. Even then, he would have almost missed it.
Thank you master. Thank you for sculpting this fool into a weapon worthy of your hand.
Jogid nodded at his handiwork then began tidying up the tools and debris leftover from the repairs. His master deserved an orderly home to return to.
But I won’t be able to do more for this roof today.
▬▬ι════════ﺤ
Kaito frowned as he sorted through the pile of tax documents on his desk. The capital’s tax collectors would be arriving in the village in one month, yet many villager files were still missing important details. There were substantial gaps in the village’s records and missing divine offering tithes.
Unresolved paperwork piled high on his desk, each sheet reminded him of the mayor’s one hundred and six years of age.
Just an hour ago his heart skipped a beat when he picked up the owner of the Soft Waffle tavern’s crumpled and coffee stained record.
We are not going to make this deadline.
Shaking his head, he reviewed the record carefully. Line after line, year after year, the records showed claims for the adventurer’s guild income tax deduction. Yet faded notes on the margins told a different story: ‘No quests undertaken this year.’ Ten years. That seemed to be when an adventurer had last walked through Finn’s doors seeking a quest.
Karen, please review all the villagers’ tax returns and identify who requires the harvest tax schedule versus the property and magical dwelling taxes.
What do you think I am? A fucking AI language model? Master Kaito, I’m not doing your bureaucratic work for you. It would defeat the purpose of your silly lifestyle. However, this sounds like the perfect starter quest for me to generate though! Let’s make it fun—Tax Collector Crisis: 0/160 Villager Files Reviewed. I’ll give you a copper coin for each one!
Kaito closed his eyes and took a deep breath. You make a fair point, Karen. My apologies for the unreasonable request. I need to handle this myself. Thank you for reminding me of my goal.
If I had emotions…or cheeks a tear would be rolling down one of them. No problem! I’m always happy to remind you about healthy work-life balance.
Perhaps I could use some assistance though.
Rehiring Jogid temporarily could help expedite matters.
Ah yes, Jogid! Come to think of it, he took losing mayorship rather well, all things considered. But no, that won’t do. He was having trouble understanding the magical resource extraction tax. It will take me too long to train him.
So what is the plan?
Kaito sighed and leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. Maybe I could create a clone? No, that won’t work. My Omega-VII-level inscription? Too messy… He continued grunting as different options entered and exited his mind.
Master Kaito, can I ask you something... um, a bit out of the ordinary?
Sure, did you get an idea?
Maybe…well…you know how I’m always pestering you about quests and adventures, right? And I get it, you’re not into that whole ‘hero’s journey’ thing anymore. But, uh... I was wondering, just theoretically speaking…
Go on.
Would you... could you maybe consider creating a clone or something? Someone who would, you know, actually take up my quests and go on adventures. I mean, I’ve got all these epic quests lined up and nobody to do them. It’s like being a quest-giver NPC with no players. Kinda lonely, actually.
Absolutely not. The last clone I made became the main antagonist of my seventh tour and killed four gods. Can you imagine how much pantheon-level paperwork that took?
Oh, boo-hoo, Kaito. Four gods? That’s it? Sounds like your clone had more fun on one tour than you’ve had in all of yours combined… Asshole.
▬▬ι════════ﺤ
Zenith’s first day as the village’s mayor had been exhausting. Reviewing village decrees, listening to the concerns of her citizens, signing off on routine documents.
And now…well, she wondered.
She trailed behind Kaito as he led her through the forest, insisting on taking her to a “secret spot.” The hero. He had a subtle glint in his eyes, lighter and more joyous than she had ever seen him before. Finally, the trees opened up to reveal a sparkling lake, where the afternoon sun glimmered on a variety of colorful low-level slimes floating across the top.
When Kaito stripped down to just a loincloth and waded into the pristine water more gracefully than a swan parting the surface she blushed deeply. Zenith fumbled to remove her dress, folding it neatly on the shore before entering the lake in her undergarments. The cool water embraced her skin, instantly refreshing.
Kaito led them through a series of swimming techniques, his powerful strokes cutting through the lake with ease. Zenith pushed herself to keep up, muscles burning pleasantly.
Afterwards, they stood chest-deep in the lake, catching their breath. Rivulets streamed down Kaito’s broad shoulders as he swept back his wet jet-black hair—Zenith’s face heated at the sight.
A purple apple-sized slime rolled down the side of Kaito’s head as he helped Zenith step out of the lake. Upon seeing her delicate rose-hued skin prickle up, he immediately covered it with his warm wool cloak.
“And that’s how you get a good workout—and a shower—at the same time.”
“I see.” was all she was able to reply.
Suddenly, a crack of thunder boomed overhead. Fat raindrops began pelting down, sending ripples across the previously still surface.
“Follow me, there’s a cave nearby!” Kaito shouted over the downpour.
Zenith shivered, hugging her arms. “What wretched luck,” she grumbled.
With their clothes plastering to their skin, they scrambled into the rock shelter. Inside, when they finally managed to catch their breath, she wrung her hair out as best as she could. “There goes our afternoon.”
“You’re right, looks like we’re trapped here for a while,” Kaito said, “But, I know a way to make the best of it.”
Before Zenith could respond, he had strode to the cave entrance. His body began twisting in rhythmic, sensual motions. With fluid sweeps of his arms, Kaito seemed to conduct the rainfall into elaborate patterns outside.
What’s he doing now? She watched, spellbound, as the falling drops danced at his command.
Each one of the hero’s movements was a silent call to join him, yet she gripped the sides of her drenched skirt, resisting the urge to abandon decorum and leap into the playful waltz.
Kaito’s rain dance grew ever more elaborate and absurd. Faster. More alluring. More complex.
Laughter bubbled up in Zenith unbidden and she dashed out to join Kaito’s madcap performance.
Soon, their dance dissolved into breathless laughter and playful splashing in the downpour. Kaito lifted her into an impromptu spin and she squealed with surprised delight.
As the storm eased, she met Kaito’s eyes, rain-soaked clothes clinging tightly. In that moment, her heart fluttered with more than just exertion.
▬▬ι════════ﺤ
Master Kaito, I must commend you on your impressive ‘courtship’ technique today. Very subtle, very effective.
Kaito and Zenith ambled along the tranquil wooded path back to Kaito’s home, smiling and relaxed after their enjoyable afternoon. Zenith clutched Kaito’s black cloak tightly around her, shivering so fiercely it seemed she might rattle apart.
It wasn’t about courtship, Karen. I showed the princess my secret spot to make her feel at home. It’s been the best ‘normal’ day I’ve had in weeks. We need her to stay as the village’s mayor, after all.
Oh, how altruistic of you. And here I was, thinking this was the start of a romantic arc. Silly me.
Zenith’s stomach rumbled loudly, talking about timeless ushemia cake as they emerged from the trees. Kaito’s charming home—and Zenith’s long awaited dinner—came into sight at the top of the small hill.
She suddenly froze, and paled. And Kaito sighed heavily.
A caravan that neither of them was expecting, was parked outside his home.
Damn it, and here I was celebrating.
Jogid hurried over to greet them. “Master Kaito, an envoy from the capital has arrived. They wish to speak with you.”
At that moment, a knight in gleaming armor stepped forward. “Princess Zenith?” he asked in surprise.
Zenith’s posture stiffened. “Sir Reinoldus, what business do you have in Calmo Village?”
The knight bowed deeply. “I’ve come to deliver a message for the hero, but finding you here, Princess, is a blessing by the gods. The King has been desperate to locate you since you left only a vague letter behind.”
“I left my intentions clear in the letter. Tell my father nothing of my whereabouts,” she commanded firmly.
“With respect Princess, you cannot simply abandon your duties. You must return at once. I will have you back within the week.”
Kaito stepped forward, placing himself between Zenith and the knight. “Sir Reinoldus, while I appreciate your concern for the princess, she is currently undertaking important responsibilities here. Mayor Zenith has proven herself a capable leader. Perhaps an arrangement can be made that benefits all.
The knight looked uncertain but nodded. “Apologies for my behavior.”
“Now, you mentioned a message for me? Please, come in. We’re about to have dinner, and you’re welcome to join us. I suppose you’re not on a deadline,” Kaito said, leading them inside.
He shot Zenith a subtle look of support as they walked. Her lips quirked in a small, grateful smile.
“Jogid, let’s make room for our guest.”
“Already done, Master Kaito.”
▬▬ι════════ﺤ
Zenith blinked between Kaito and Reinoldus. The nine royal guards were ready to take her by force if necessary. The king’s right-hand man took his time whispering something to the captain of the royal guard, while Kaito held a subtly theatrical gesture welcoming him into his home.
The hero is truly an enigma…but I can trust him, Zenith thought, feeling a bit lightheaded after the long day.
