Chapter 76: 76
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Thursday, January 26, 2017
10:45 am I enter Emie's school which is also my old high school although I only spent a very short time there. Do I have to admit that I stopped the school or considered to be taking a break? No matter, I do not rely on my intelligence to succeed in life but on my physical assets. Those who criticizes me for that does not bother me any more. I have this advantage and I use it to the best of my ability and those who do not understand my choice can say what they want. After learning about how to get to my little sister's class, I go through the corridors and it brings me back to Japan. Forget Lisa. All will not happen as you wish and you will not satisfy everyone. That's Emie's class. I knock and enter when I am allowed.
I know, you are in a trance in front of my charisma childrens. Pff "Forgive me, Mister, but I come to get my little sister."
The teacher blushes? "Miss Hanckok, we're in the middle of a lesson and I'm afraid I can not accept."
But you will accept my little teacher. "I'm sorry Mister but one of our family is dead and that's why I'm coming for my little sister."
He keeps his mouth open and very embarrassed turns to Emie. "Emie, you can go with your sister. You both have my deepest condolences. "
This man seems very human. "Thank you very much Mister, I'm sorry for interrupting your lesson. Emie, come on my baby. "
We are soon out of High School and my car is parked in front, we go up and I start immediately. Sometimes I think we have to face our demons and plunge back into our past and this is the best time to do it. To go ahead and be at peace with oneself for to accept or at least relativize what one has lived is necessary. That's why I came looking for my sister because I want also her to go forward. Although she never talks about it, I think the scars in her heart are even deeper than mine and not to open them again, she has to face one of the person who caused them.
Seeing me in my thoughts, my sister has not spoken a word yet. I start my car much more aggressively than usual and go on the streets, bypassing as much as possible the other cars that today bother me. The advantage of a small car, very powerful and very handy, is that we can easily slalom between obstacles more or less immobile, what my pretty car easily allows me to do.
"Lisa, go slower. I'm afraid."
Shit, I'm really stupid. I make my sister cry. She is terrified, very pale and clings to her seatbelt, tears streaming from her pretty eyes. "Sorry my baby, I got carried away. I will drive normally now, I promise you. Dry your tears please, it makes me sad to see you like that."
Emie is so cute. Immediately she smiles at me and with her sleeve dries her tears. "Thank you, but why are you so nervous today and do you drive like crazy?"
How to approach this subject? "Do you often think back to the years we lived in Sandville?"
She lowers her head. "I'm not trying to think about it anymore, it's too sad and painful."
I do not want to hurt her but she has to get rid of what she keeps in her. "Emie, have you thought about seeing our biological mother again?"
Emie shakes her head. "I only have one mom and it's Selena. The other is not my mother and she is in an institute so we can not see her without an adult."
Sorry sweetheart but everything is arranged. "We are going to visit him today and will find a hotel where we will stay until our grandma's funeral which takes place in two days."
She starts screaming. "I do not want to meet her again. Never, never, you do not have the right to force me to do that Lisa."
"Emie, are you going to run away all your life and play the babies or you'll say everything you blame this madwoman, in front of her? Free you shit. You always behave like a little girl, instead of yelling at me, yelling at her. Brise her, break your unworthy mother's heart and free yourself from all the weight you have on your heart."
She starts crying again and plays with her fingers. "I will not arrive there. I never shout at anyone. I'm not as brave as you. You do not realize that everyone does not have your character and that for me it is not possible."
Poor little sister, I knew it would not be easy. "You'll get there, I promise you. If you're scared, hang on to me or hold my hand and nothing will happen to you but express yourself my darling. What do you say?"
"I'm going to try but I'm scared you know."
We have just come out of New York. It has been nine months since we have taken this route. The last time, I dreaded wondering what the life will reserve me, who were these people who wanted to welcome us and why they wanted us. Today, I take this road in the opposite direction voluntarily, knowing why and know very well the person we are going to see. I know this person is bad and crazy, but I have to see her once and finally get her out of my life. What have become of my friends is a mystery. What does my father do to me? Is my uncle new to prison or is he looking for a new teenager to play with her? What happened in Sandville during these months, I do not know since I never tried to find out. I worked and worked for forgotten. Am I better than my sister who suppresses her feelings? Of course not, I am like her but act differently to not think about this past that hurts me and yet I have the nerve to lecture him. This road is so ugly. These fields so sad and these forests so pitiful. My mind is so black.
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Thursday, January 26, 2017
10:45 am I enter Emie's school which is also my old high school although I only spent a very short time there. Do I have to admit that I stopped the school or considered to be taking a break? No matter, I do not rely on my intelligence to succeed in life but on my physical assets. Those who criticizes me for that does not bother me any more. I have this advantage and I use it to the best of my ability and those who do not understand my choice can say what they want. After learning about how to get to my little sister's class, I go through the corridors and it brings me back to Japan. Forget Lisa. All will not happen as you wish and you will not satisfy everyone. That's Emie's class. I knock and enter when I am allowed.
I know, you are in a trance in front of my charisma childrens. Pff "Forgive me, Mister, but I come to get my little sister."
The teacher blushes? "Miss Hanckok, we're in the middle of a lesson and I'm afraid I can not accept."
But you will accept my little teacher. "I'm sorry Mister but one of our family is dead and that's why I'm coming for my little sister."
He keeps his mouth open and very embarrassed turns to Emie. "Emie, you can go with your sister. You both have my deepest condolences. "
This man seems very human. "Thank you very much Mister, I'm sorry for interrupting your lesson. Emie, come on my baby. "
We are soon out of High School and my car is parked in front, we go up and I start immediately. Sometimes I think we have to face our demons and plunge back into our past and this is the best time to do it. To go ahead and be at peace with oneself for to accept or at least relativize what one has lived is necessary. That's why I came looking for my sister because I want also her to go forward. Although she never talks about it, I think the scars in her heart are even deeper than mine and not to open them again, she has to face one of the person who caused them.
Seeing me in my thoughts, my sister has not spoken a word yet. I start my car much more aggressively than usual and go on the streets, bypassing as much as possible the other cars that today bother me. The advantage of a small car, very powerful and very handy, is that we can easily slalom between obstacles more or less immobile, what my pretty car easily allows me to do.
"Lisa, go slower. I'm afraid."
Shit, I'm really stupid. I make my sister cry. She is terrified, very pale and clings to her seatbelt, tears streaming from her pretty eyes. "Sorry my baby, I got carried away. I will drive normally now, I promise you. Dry your tears please, it makes me sad to see you like that."
Emie is so cute. Immediately she smiles at me and with her sleeve dries her tears. "Thank you, but why are you so nervous today and do you drive like crazy?"
How to approach this subject? "Do you often think back to the years we lived in Sandville?"
She lowers her head. "I'm not trying to think about it anymore, it's too sad and painful."
I do not want to hurt her but she has to get rid of what she keeps in her. "Emie, have you thought about seeing our biological mother again?"
Emie shakes her head. "I only have one mom and it's Selena. The other is not my mother and she is in an institute so we can not see her without an adult."
Sorry sweetheart but everything is arranged. "We are going to visit him today and will find a hotel where we will stay until our grandma's funeral which takes place in two days."
She starts screaming. "I do not want to meet her again. Never, never, you do not have the right to force me to do that Lisa."
"Emie, are you going to run away all your life and play the babies or you'll say everything you blame this madwoman, in front of her? Free you shit. You always behave like a little girl, instead of yelling at me, yelling at her. Brise her, break your unworthy mother's heart and free yourself from all the weight you have on your heart."
She starts crying again and plays with her fingers. "I will not arrive there. I never shout at anyone. I'm not as brave as you. You do not realize that everyone does not have your character and that for me it is not possible."
Poor little sister, I knew it would not be easy. "You'll get there, I promise you. If you're scared, hang on to me or hold my hand and nothing will happen to you but express yourself my darling. What do you say?"
"I'm going to try but I'm scared you know."
We have just come out of New York. It has been nine months since we have taken this route. The last time, I dreaded wondering what the life will reserve me, who were these people who wanted to welcome us and why they wanted us. Today, I take this road in the opposite direction voluntarily, knowing why and know very well the person we are going to see. I know this person is bad and crazy, but I have to see her once and finally get her out of my life. What have become of my friends is a mystery. What does my father do to me? Is my uncle new to prison or is he looking for a new teenager to play with her? What happened in Sandville during these months, I do not know since I never tried to find out. I worked and worked for forgotten. Am I better than my sister who suppresses her feelings? Of course not, I am like her but act differently to not think about this past that hurts me and yet I have the nerve to lecture him. This road is so ugly. These fields so sad and these forests so pitiful. My mind is so black.
Thursday, January 26, 201710:45 am I enter Emie's school which is also my old high school although I only spent a very short time there. Do I have to admit that I stopped the school or considered to be taking a break? No matter, I do not rely on my intelligence to succeed in life but on my physical assets. Those who criticizes me for that does not bother me any more. I have this advantage and I use it to the best of my ability and those who do not understand my choice can say what they want. After learning about how to get to my little sister's class, I go through the corridors and it brings me back to Japan. Forget Lisa. All will not happen as you wish and you will not satisfy everyone. That's Emie's class. I knock and enter when I am allowed.I know, you are in a trance in front of my charisma childrens. Pff "Forgive me, Mister, but I come to get my little sister."The teacher blushes? "Miss Hanckok, we're in the middle of a lesson and I'm afraid I can not accept."But you will accept my little teacher. "I'm sorry Mister but one of our family is dead and that's why I'm coming for my little sister."He keeps his mouth open and very embarrassed turns to Emie. "Emie, you can go with your sister. You both have my deepest condolences. "This man seems very human. "Thank you very much Mister, I'm sorry for interrupting your lesson. Emie, come on my baby. "We are soon out of High School and my car is parked in front, we go up and I start immediately. Sometimes I think we have to face our demons and plunge back into our past and this is the best time to do it. To go ahead and be at peace with oneself for to accept or at least relativize what one has lived is necessary. That's why I came looking for my sister because I want also her to go forward. Although she never talks about it, I think the scars in her heart are even deeper than mine and not to open them again, she has to face one of the person who caused them.Seeing me in my thoughts, my sister has not spoken a word yet. I start my car much more aggressively than usual and go on the streets, bypassing as much as possible the other cars that today bother me. The advantage of a small car, very powerful and very handy, is that we can easily slalom between obstacles more or less immobile, what my pretty car easily allows me to do."Lisa, go slower. I'm afraid."Shit, I'm really stupid. I make my sister cry. She is terrified, very pale and clings to her seatbelt, tears streaming from her pretty eyes. "Sorry my baby, I got carried away. I will drive normally now, I promise you. Dry your tears please, it makes me sad to see you like that."Emie is so cute. Immediately she smiles at me and with her sleeve dries her tears. "Thank you, but why are you so nervous today and do you drive like crazy?"How to approach this subject? "Do you often think back to the years we lived in Sandville?"She lowers her head. "I'm not trying to think about it anymore, it's too sad and painful."I do not want to hurt her but she has to get rid of what she keeps in her. "Emie, have you thought about seeing our biological mother again?"Emie shakes her head. "I only have one mom and it's Selena. The other is not my mother and she is in an institute so we can not see her without an adult."Sorry sweetheart but everything is arranged. "We are going to visit him today and will find a hotel where we will stay until our grandma's funeral which takes place in two days."She starts screaming. "I do not want to meet her again. Never, never, you do not have the right to force me to do that Lisa.""Emie, are you going to run away all your life and play the babies or you'll say everything you blame this madwoman, in front of her? Free you shit. You always behave like a little girl, instead of yelling at me, yelling at her. Brise her, break your unworthy mother's heart and free yourself from all the weight you have on your heart."She starts crying again and plays with her fingers. "I will not arrive there. I never shout at anyone. I'm not as brave as you. You do not realize that everyone does not have your character and that for me it is not possible."Poor little sister, I knew it would not be easy. "You'll get there, I promise you. If you're scared, hang on to me or hold my hand and nothing will happen to you but express yourself my darling. What do you say?""I'm going to try but I'm scared you know."We have just come out of New York. It has been nine months since we have taken this route. The last time, I dreaded wondering what the life will reserve me, who were these people who wanted to welcome us and why they wanted us. Today, I take this road in the opposite direction voluntarily, knowing why and know very well the person we are going to see. I know this person is bad and crazy, but I have to see her once and finally get her out of my life. What have become of my friends is a mystery. What does my father do to me? Is my uncle new to prison or is he looking for a new teenager to play with her? What happened in Sandville during these months, I do not know since I never tried to find out. I worked and worked for forgotten. Am I better than my sister who suppresses her feelings? Of course not, I am like her but act differently to not think about this past that hurts me and yet I have the nerve to lecture him. This road is so ugly. These fields so sad and these forests so pitiful. My mind is so black.
