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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 284

Published at 10th of May 2023 10:49:40 AM


Chapter 284

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Chapter 284 The Heavens Created Men and Women… As for Shemale…

“There’s no such thing in the first place!!” Kawaki shouted as he threw Katsura out.

“Really. There are always so many annoying guys around me all day long.” Kawaki clapped his hands and muttered unhappily. Then, he stood up and said, “Let’s go. You guys have already said what you need to say, right?”

“I wonder how much that b * tch will pay this time.” Gintoki rubbed his neck and stood up, “Really, I’m really tired today of solving all these crappy things for this idiot~ I won’t be satisfied if she did not give three million.”

“What kind of black-hearted company are you? No matter how you look at it, you won’t be paid three million yen for this kind of task.” Shinpachi said expressionlessly. Then, he stood up from his seat and bowed to Saigo. He smiled and said, “Since the matter is over, we will leave first.”

“Eh? So fast? I still want to talk to Paako. Kawako will dance on the stage again~” Vaneko showed regret as he twisted his body and said.

“Don’t let me remember that dark memory again!” Kawaki shouted, “That kind of memory doesn’t exist at all, right? What do you mean by being with Paako and Kawako? Who is Paako? And I am not called Kawako at all!”

“Kawaki-san,” Shinpachi pulled the corner of Kawaki’s clothes expressionlessly, then pointed to Gintoki beside him and said in a low voice, “Paako is here.”

“It’s you?!” Kawaki shouted.



“Then, I’ll take my leave first.” Shinpachi stood at the Kamakko club entrance and said to Saigo with a smile. Then he looked up at Kawaki, who had his hands folded, and looking impatient, he whispered, “Kawaki-san, you are also…”

After spitting, Kawaki said reluctantly, “Sorry about last time.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Saigo smiled and replied, “Welcome to visit next time. You can also introduce your friends.”

“Come here often~” Vaneko and Wakame shouted at the same time.

“Do I look like the kind of person who would push his friends into a fire pit?” Kawaki said expressionlessly.

“Stop talking, Kawaki-san!” Shinpachi scolded in a low voice, “I’m sorry! Kawaki-san’s mouth is very poisonous, but he doesn’t have any bad intentions.”

“I know,” Saigo said with a smile, “Alright, hurry up and go.”

Then.

Kawaki, Gintoki, and Kagura turned around and left without any hesitation. Seeing this, Shinpachi could only smile apologetically and turn around to chase after them.



Kawaki and the others, who had just come out of the Kamakko club, walked slowly on the way back. At this time, the sky had completely darkened.

“I don’t want to come here again for the rest of my life,” Kawaki mumbled as he walked.

“Yes, all of them look ferocious, like the animals in the safari park-aru,” Kagura agreed.

“What you two said is too much!” Shinpachi criticized, “First of all, Kawaki-san. Do you know what an apology is? Is it really okay to apologize with that kind of attitude? You have to be more sincere! And Kagura-chan, Mademoiselle Saigo, took care of Gin-san and Yorozuya, right? You can’t use that kind of attitude.”

“Tsk.” Kawaki and Kagura spat at the same time. Their expressions were surprisingly consistent.

“How rude, and why is your attitude synchronization rate so high?!” Shinpachi shouted.

“Speaking of which, I didn’t see that strange shemale with a strange chin today.” Kagura suddenly thought of something.

“Oh, it’s Miss Azumi,” Shinpachi replied, “I saw her, but she looked listless all the time, so I didn’t go up to greet her.”

“Huh? Could it be that chin has exhausted all the energy?” Gintoki casually ridiculed.

“Oh, it’s about that Mandible Helmet!” Kawaki raised his hand and knocked, “I remember it! So he’s called Azumi!”

“What kind of analogy is that? What do you mean by Mandible Helmet?” Shinpachi scoffed expressionlessly.

However, at this moment, a voice suddenly came from behind them.

“That, please wait.”

“Ah?” Kawaki and the Yorozuya trio turned to look at the person who spoke at the same time.

“Miss Azumi…” Shinpachi murmured as he looked at the person.

“It’s Agomi.” Azumi lowered her head slightly and frowned as she stood where she was; a trace of disappointment appeared on her face, “I have something to ask of you, Yorozuya.” 

(TL note: Agonoske Azumi is his real name, and he was also known as “Agomi” because of his/her prominent chin (“ago” being the Japanese term for chin). )

“I see. It’s your work.” Kawaki glanced at the Yorozuya trio, then turned around and said, “I’ll go back first.”

“Wait a minute!” Azumi said again, “If possible, I want Kawako to advise me. After all, Kawako, who was also a woman, must be able to understand my heart better. “

“Do you want to die?”



In a certain restaurant.

Azumi recounted her experience in a lively manner, and from time to time, she would reveal the shyness of a young girl, causing Kawaki and the Yorozuya trio, who was facing her, to have black lines on their faces.

In fact, the content is very simple, and it can be summed up in one sentence: Agomi is caught in the distress of unrequited love!

“… At that time, I finally realized it. ” With a red face, Azumi hugged his chest tightly and fell into his pink memories, “Yes! That is the so-called [Love at first sight]!”

Kawaki and the Yorozuya trio on the other side of the table fell into a strange silence. At this time, the four people’s expressions were surprisingly identical. Their eyes were drooping, and several black lines were looming in the corner of their eyes.

“Did you hear that!” Looking at the four people who had completely fallen into silence, Azumi could not help but stand up and slap the table.

“I seem to be a little lacking in sleep. I keep feeling dizzy, Shinpachi-kun.” Gintoki muttered.

“Me too. I feel like I hear things. Is it because I played games all night?” Kawaki’s eyes twitched as he said, “And I don’t know why. Although I’ve vomited everything in my stomach today, I still feel a little dizzy and want to vomit.”

“It doesn’t matter. My feelings are exactly the same as yours. Gin-san, Kawaki-san,” Shinpachi replied with half a face twitching.

“Me too, it’s so disgusting that I want to vomit like I’m pregnant-aru,” Kagura said.

At this time, Azumi blushed and continued to explain, “His name is “Jurota”, and he is a rookie male host at the famous host club Takamagahara in Kabukicho.”

“Takamagahara? Is it that Kyoshiro?” Shinpachi asked doubtfully.

“After all, I’m just a wine hostess, but he is a male host,” Dongmei said with a face full of pity, “Yes! This is the fate of an innocent girl like me being toyed with!”

“As expected, it was because I didn’t sleep well last night that I had an auditory hallucination. Just now, I seemed to have heard the person in front of me call herself an innocent girl.” Kawaki covered his head and said with a pained expression, “Ah, it’s so painful…”

“Ah, it must be because I didn’t sleep well,” Gintoki nodded in agreement, “I think I heard it too. I should sleep early today.”

“The two of you, pull yourself together. This person indeed clearly said the two words “innocent girl” just now.” The black lines on Shinpachi’s face had already covered his entire face.

“I… I can’t do it anymore-aru…” Kagura said with a painful expression, then turned around and vomited.

“Are you alright, Kagura?!” Gintoki said.

“Ambulance! Ambulance!” Kawaki took out his mobile phone and dialed the number of the emergency center, “Please send an ambulance immediately! There is a psycho shemale here! The situation is very urgent!”

“You guys are too much!” Azumi pouted and complained, “You should know I am very distressed. I have never been so bitter. That’s why I want someone to help me! I am already in so much pain that I want to die!”

As soon as she finished speaking, Kawaki, Gintoki, and the others stood behind Azumi. The four of them changed into the samurai costume and held the gleaming sword in their hands. Azumi, on the other hand, was wearing a pure white kimono. Her dress abdomen was wide open, and she held a seppuku dagger tightly in her hand.

“Well, here we come,” Gintoki replied casually.

“Hey! Wait! What are you dressed like?!” Azumi shouted with bulging veins.

“Well, didn’t you say you wanted to die?” Gintoki explained expressionlessly, “That’s why I wanted to help send you on your way or something, just like a travel agency from hell.”

“That’s not the case! All I want is love advice!” Azumi shouted, “I hope I can board the [International Flight of Love]!”

Hearing this, Kawaki and the other three all turned around and vomited.

“I don’t think we can get an international flight!” Gintoki wiped the saliva from the corner of his mouth and shouted with black lines on his face, “You don’t need a space battleship that can drive in the universe’s curvature; a male host can’t hear an uncle’s voice!!”

“Who’s uncle!!!” Azumi shouted.

“It’s you!!” x4

Hearing this, Azumi actually covered his face and sobbed, “If this goes on, what kind of child will I become… will I become a beast addicted to love!”

“No, you’re quite the beast now,” Shinpachi said mercilessly.

“If you can’t help me, at least comfort me!” Azumi held her head and said madly, “Paako! Kawako! Pachie! I beg you!”

“Who is Kawako!” Kawaki cursed, “And why do I have to comfort an uncle who calls himself an innocent girl?!”

After saying that, Kawaki stood up and prepared to leave.

“Sorry, it’s the same on our side, that kind of thing is not included in Yorozuya’s [Everything]! I’m sorry, I’m leaving.” After saying that, Gintoki stood up and prepared to leave. 

(TL note: The name Yorozuya literally means ‘house of 10,000 business’. The phrase is made up of: ‘yorozu’, whose literal meaning is 10,000, but is commonly used to mean ‘myriad’, ‘various’, ‘many’, ‘everything’, ‘anything under the sky’.)

“Don’t go!” Azumi directly hugged Kawaki and Gintoki’s legs while crying and screaming, “What should I do?!”

“You should let go of my legs first, bastard! What if I catch your uncle’s smell?!” Kawaki shouted.

“No! If you don’t agree, I won’t let go! Paako is the same!”




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