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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 285

Published at 10th of May 2023 10:49:39 AM


Chapter 285

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Finally, Kawaki and Gintoki were so annoyed that they couldn’t stand it anymore, so they forced themselves to sit down again.

After thinking hard for a few minutes, Kawaki finally raised his head and sighed softly. He waved his hand and said, “No, I really can’t do it. I searched through my twenty-seven years of memories and common sense, but I still couldn’t find any experience that could help this kind of monster chase after a male host. I gave up…”

“Kawako~,” Azumi shouted in tears.

In an instant, the veins on Kawaki’s face bulged, and he cursed, “Who is Kawako?!”

“Me too. I’ve searched through all my life experiences but still couldn’t find any useful methods.” Gintoki folded his hands and nodded in agreement, “This incident is indeed a bit out of line.”

“Why is it like this… Woo…” Azumi covered his face and cried as he rolled on the table.

“Stop! It looks super disgusting for an uncle to make such a scene!” Kawaki scolded.

“Well, should we ask Kyoshiro for help?” Shinpachi suggested with his index finger.

“That’s the only way.” Gintoki nodded in agreement.

“No, I don’t agree,” Kawaki shook his head and said seriously, “The few of you should also consider the mood of that male host. What if he is scared? No matter what, he is still a man. What if he fainted after being confessed by this uncle of unknown origin?”

“T-that makes sense.” Shinpachi scratched the back of his head and smiled awkwardly.

“And…” As he spoke, Kawaki looked at Azumi, who was sobbing in the opposite seat, “You can’t be sure if your feeling is like or not, right?”

“No, I am very sure!” Azumi replied firmly.

“No, I am not sure.” Kawaki shrugged and continued with a helpless expression, “You, because of your appearance, you rarely get the gentle treatment of others, right? That’s why you fell into that man’s gentleness. Your feelings are similar to that of Shinpachi-kun.”

“Eh? No, no, no, no,” Shinpachi quickly waved his hand, “No matter what, I can’t be like this kind of uncle!”

“No, in a sense, you are no different from this kind of uncle.” Kawaki shook his head and explained with a serious face, “Both of you are the type of [Will quickly like others once you feel the other’s kindness]! It is commonly known as the phenomenon of [He will fall in love with you if you are a little nicer to a virgin or a shemale]!”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Gintoki and Kagura nodded in agreement.

“The two of you, one is an uncle who has no fate with love, and the other is a virgin who has no fate with love and women. It’s exactly the same.” Kawaki spread out his hands and continued.

“As expected of a scumbag, Kawaki. He hit the nail on the head.” Gintoki praised.

Kawaki replied expressionlessly, “Hey, wait, why didn’t I hear any praise in your words? Are you insulting me? You are definitely insulting me, right? What is that scumbag mean?”

“I am praising you, Kawascum.” Gintoki chuckled and explained.

“At least get rid of the word scum for me!” Kawaki shouted.

“Shinpachi, it’s actually very easy to understand.” Ignoring Kawaki’s scolding, Gintoki turned to look at Shinpachi and explained, “In other words, there is a beautiful girl who appeared in front of you and greeted you very gently…”

Looking at Shinpachi, who was blushing and falling into a beautiful fantasy, the crowd was speechless.

“See, that’s why your feelings are exactly the same as Shinpachi’s,” Gintoki pointed at Shinpachi, who was still in a fantasy, and explained to Azumi, “You are all the type that will crazily like others after receiving a little kindness, which is the legendary [Too Much Self-Awareness].”

“That’s right.” Kagura nodded.

“See, even Kagura can understand it.” Gintoki shrugged and said casually.

“I don’t really understand-aru!” Kagura raised her hand, “But I also feel the same disgust when I see Shinpachi like that!”

“That’s why you should give up early. There won’t be any results, just like how Shinpachi is destined to be a virgin for his entire life.” Kawaki continued, “There won’t be any benefits in indulging in that delusion. Not only will it add to your troubles, but it will also cause trouble for others.”

“No!” Azumi cried, “Even if that’s the case, I don’t want to give up! Don’t shemale deserve love?!”

“I said… it’s time for you to recognize the reality a little bit, right? Shemale? Are you really a shemale?” Kawaki complained with black lines all over his face, “Can’t you look in the mirror first when you say you are a shemale?”

“Kawako! Are you going to take away my identity as a shemale?!” Azumi glared with her big red eyes and roared.

“Who is Kawako?!” Kawaki scolded, “And I’ve never seen a shemale with a beard on his face and the smell of an uncle! How long are you going to lie to yourself?!”

“Eh? Wait…” Gintoki suddenly noticed something and turned around to stare at Kawaki expressionlessly, “Could it be that… you have seen a real shemale?!”

“Ah, I’ve seen it before when I was wandering.” Kawaki nodded without hiding anything.

“Really?! Have you really seen a shemale-aru?! What does a real shemale look like? !” There were little stars in Kagura’s eyes.

“What does it look like? It’s just an ordinary shemale,” Kawaki explained, “The so-called shemale is that after God created men and women, there were some men who felt that they could not integrate into their own circle, so they wanted to become women. Therefore, they resolutely turned themselves into a shemale. But on the whole, it will still be more feminine.”

“So powerful! It turns out that shemale was not created by Kami-sama!” Kagura praised.

“Well, that makes sense. That’s exactly what happened to us.” Azumi nodded in agreement.

“Generally, ordinary people would think so,” Kawaki said again, “But for someone like me who is not ordinary, I still don’t like shemale.”

“Indeed, I can’t like it either.” Gintoki nodded.

Kawaki shrugged and continued to explain, “So, even for those who can say [shemale is no different from normal women and men, we should treat them equally], I believe that most of them have the same true thoughts as me. This is human nature. It can’t be changed.”

“Yes, it can’t be changed.” Gintoki and Kagura nodded at the same time.

“Why does it feel more and more like a philosophical topic? you guys stop for a while!” Azumi hurriedly shouted to stop, “Shouldn’t it be time for you to give advice on my love problem?! Why are you talking about that kind of topic?! Be a little more serious, bastards! I want to die now!”

“Then why don’t you just die?” Kawaki said indifferently.

“You’re right. Since you want to die, why don’t you just die? You can solve your troubles once and for all.” Gintoki nodded in agreement.

“I already said that I don’t mean it that way!” Azumi roared with veins popping out of his veins, “Didn’t I say it just now? What I need is love help!”

“But you are talking about an uncle falling in love with a male host; how can we help?! You are the one who doesn’t know the situation!” Kawaki shouted, “And why is it a male host? Ah?! Even if a gorilla cabaret hostess, we can accept it!”

“Wait! What do you mean by gorilla cabaret hostess?” Shinpachi suddenly reacted and shouted at Kawaki, “Are you referring to my sister?! How rude! Kawaki-san!”

“In any case, I won’t help. Of course, even if I said that, but if you really want to die, I can help you. I promise to send you to hell in one shot.” After saying that, Kawaki stood up and left.

“I…” At this critical juncture, Azumi bit his lower lip and muttered, “I! I just want to convey this feeling! It doesn’t matter if there is no result! Otherwise, even if I die, I won’t be reconciled!”

Hearing this, Kawaki stopped and stood in place for a moment. After a moment of silence, he turned his head and directly cursed, “So this kind of thing has nothing to do with us! Why don’t you just go by yourself if you want to convey it? If you are shy, write a letter! Why are you pretending to be innocent? Are you a middle school student?”

“I…” Azumi raised his head and cried, “No, no, no! I can’t do it! I don’t have the courage! You are the only one who can help me!”

“That’s enough, you bastard!”



In the end, everyone became soft-hearted. It might not be because they become soft-hearted but simply did not want to be annoyed by Azumi anymore. Kawaki and the Yorozuya trio brought Azumi to find Kyoshiro.

With the help of Kyoshiro, Azumi transformed into a Takamagahara black-clothed bodyguard. However, the bodyguard was said to be responsible for guiding the guests and patrolling.



Three days later.

Azumi, who combed her hair back and wore a black suit, no, it should be called “Agonoske” now, stood at the Takamagahara entrance and entertained guests seriously.

“Welcome to Takamagahara.” Agonosuke bent down slightly and then got up to lead the two guests who had just arrived into the shop.

On the way, Agonoske also secretly glanced at Jurota, who was drinking and chatting with a guest in a booth. That’s right, although it had been three days, Agonoske still failed to express his feelings to Jurota.

At this moment, Gintoki’s voice came from behind Agonoske.

“You don’t have much spirit, Agomi.” Gintoki, who had changed into women’s clothing, shouted behind her.

“Huh? Is that so~” Agonoske instantly switched to Agomi mode, turned around, and gave Gintoki a wink.

“You stupid shemale!” Gintoki yelled while knocking Agonoske to the ground with a slap, “Really, just calling you a name immediately reveals your true nature.”

“Why did you suddenly become energetic, you bastard?!” Kagura complained.




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