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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 302

Published at 15th of April 2024 05:58:34 AM


Chapter 302

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“Ah, I… I am already fifty-six years old…” Old man Kitagawa seemed to be a little out of breath when he spoke, and his voice was a little weak, “My wife is fifty-five years old…”

“So that’s the case.” Kawaki smiled and nodded, but his heart was not as relaxed as his face, ‘What the hell! They are almost sixty years old and their life is not harmonious? Don’t joke around! There is no way to start at all!’

“Well, is there anything wrong with your wife recently-aru?” Kagura asked, “For example, she often leaves the house with reasons such as business trips with the community chairman or so.”

“Shut up!” Kawaki knocked on Kagura’s head again.

However, Old man Kitagawa actually began to sob right at this moment.

Seeing Old man Kitagawa like this, Kawaki was shocked in his heart. He muttered in disbelief, “Could… could it be that what Kagura-chan guessed was true?”

“No… no,” Old man Kitagawa said as he sobbed, “Actually, my wife has been very strange lately.”

“Very strange? What do you mean?” Kawaki continued to ask.

Just as Kawaki asked, he saw Old man Kitagawa unexpectedly twist his hands. A trace of embarrassment appeared on his wrinkled face. He said intermittently, “Actually, my wife, she… my wife has been so cold to me recently~ Good night kiss, and such things are gone~ I’m so distressed~ Woooooo~ Is she in a cold period? Does she not like me anymore?”

As he said this, Old man Kitagawa stretch out his two index fingers at the same time and touched them together. He looked at Kawaki with tears in his eyes, “Because, such and such behaviors are gone~ What should I do, Woooooo… “

Hearing this, Kawaki and Kagura’s faces were very tacit, and veins popped out at the same time.

“It doesn’t matter at all!” Kawaki and Kagura shouted at the same time.

“Eh?! What do you mean it doesn’t matter at all! Haven’t you already accepted the commission?!” Old man Kitagawa shouted angrily, but just as he finished speaking, he began to pant and point to his chest with a painful expression, “Medicine… medicine…”

Seeing this, Kawaki quickly got up and helped Old man Kitagawa to the sofa. He took out the medicine from his bosom and poured two pills for Old man Kitagawa to take.

After doing all of this, the pain on Old man Kitagawa’s face gradually subsided.

“Phew~” Kawaki wiped the sweat on his forehead and said with lingering fear, “I almost committed the crime of intentional homicide…”

As he spoke, Kawaki glanced at Kagura who was still sitting on the sofa with an eager look. He sighed and complained, “I say, can you accept some normal commissions? How can you complete such commissions?”

“Little brother, are you going to refuse me, an uncle who is about to be buried?” Old man Kitagawa woke up and looked at Kawaki with tears again.

“Do you really think of yourself as an uncle?” The corners of Kawaki’s eyes twitched as he complained, “You are already an old man. We really don’t know what to do about the marriage crisis between the old man and the old lady!”

“WOOOOO!” Old man Kitagawa cried again, “Nowadays, young people really don’t know how to respect the old and love the young. They only care about their own happiness. They don’t care about the affairs of the elderly. What a sick society! Woooo… “

“Don’t say that it’s all the fault of this society!” Kawaki shouted, “It’s really disgusting for an old grandpa to be like this! Hurry up and stop!”

“I really want to die. What’s the point of living like this!” Old man Kitagawa cried even harder on the sofa.

“Hey! Kagura-chan, say a few words to the commission you accepted!” Kawaki looked at Kagura, who was holding her hands, and closed her eyes. Her face was solemn and seemed to be deep in thought.

Just as Kawaki finished speaking, Old man Kitagawa suddenly stopped crying. Kawaki turned around and saw Old man Kitagawa’s face was green.

“Hey! Hold on! Old man!” Kawaki hurriedly picked up the medicine bottle and poured out two more capsules. He opened Old man Kitagawa’s mouth and stuffed it in. Then, he poured tea water in.

Then, Kawaki turned Old man Kitagawa over and began to massage his back. After a full two minutes, Old man Kitagawa slowly recovered.

“Phew~” Kawaki wiped the sweat on his forehead again, “Old man, I think you should not come to Yorozuya, but to the hospital. Can you please stop tormenting us? The kind of distress you are talking about, it doesn’t matter at all, right?”

“How can it doesn’t matter!” Old man Kitagawa turned his head and retorted, “We are husband and wife! We must always be kind and loving, right?!”

“Think about your age.” Kawaki sighed heavily.

“No! I don’t want to consider my age at all!” Old man Kitagawa retorted tearfully, “I want to maintain that sticky relationship with my wife forever! I don’t want to be like this anymore. I have lost the motivation to live!”

Looking at the old man who began to cry again, there were several black lines on Kawaki’s forehead. On the other hand, Kagura quietly stood up and crept toward the door.

“Hey, where are you going?” Kawaki looked at Kagura, who was about to reach the door, expressionlessly, “Do you want to run away alone?”

“I just remembered that the vinegared kelp at home was finished, so I want to go to the convenience store to buy some-aru.” Kagura turned around and explained, “I definitely didn’t want to sneak away! Absolutely!”

“Do you think I believe you?!” Kawaki shouted, “Come over here!”

Hearing this, Kagura turned her face away and spat softly. Then, she reluctantly walked over and sat down.

Looking at Old man Kitagawa who was still crying and shouting, Kawaki held his forehead and sat down again. He said somewhat speechlessly, “Although I did hear that the number of [beep——] couples living in disharmony is increasing recently, but…”

As he spoke, Kawaki raised his head and looked at Old man Kitagawa, who was hammering the sofa opposite him, “But he is too old! Hey, don’t think about sneaking away again.”

Kagura, who had just stood up, could only sit down again.

“Um, Old Man Kitagawa, can you please stop first?” Kawaki shouted helplessly.

However, Old man Kitagawa acted as if he was doing it on purpose and cried even harder.

“Hey! Stop!” Kawaki shouted, “How much longer do you have to make a scene? We will help!”

“Really?” Old man Kitagawa wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and sat up to look at Kawaki.

“Ah, really,” Kawaki replied impatiently, “Moreover, let’s get to the point first. This is the first time we’ve faced such a situation. It’s hard to say if we can help you…”

Just as Kawaki finished speaking, Old man Kitagawa started crying again. However, this time, he was so moved that he cried out.

“Don’t cry! If you continue crying, I can only call an ambulance!” Kawaki hurriedly shouted.

“Little uncle, are you really going to help this grandpa-aru?” Kagura turned to look at the somewhat frantic Kawaki and asked.

“There’s no other way. I can only go.” Kawaki sighed helplessly, “Speaking of which, wasn’t this commission your own? Why do you look like it has nothing to do with you? Hey!”

“Because the life of an old man and an old lady is a field that I have never come into contact with,” Kagura replied without thinking.

“Don’t talk as if I have come into contact with it!”

“Then has little uncle already thought of where to start?” Kagura asked again.

“I have no choice. I should ask the old lady downstairs about this.” Kawaki replied somewhat helplessly, “If it’s someone of the same age, there might be some good suggestions.”



Otose Store.

“Well, that’s what happened.” Kawaki sat at the front desk and glanced at Old man Kitagawa who was twisting and pinching at the side. Then he looked at Otose who was standing at the counter, “Old lady, do you have any suggestions?”

“You woke me up because of this matter?!” Otose shouted, “We don’t open for business during the day! Why should I listen to an old man complain here?! My beauty sleep has been destroyed, bastard!”

“After all, among all the people I know, only you can help and be considerate, Otose.” Kawaki looked at Otose with a smile, his eyes full of tenderness.

“Put away your expression. Do you think I am a little girl who doesn’t know anything?” Otose cursed, “Forget it. Since you are sincerely begging me, I will be merciful and help you.”

Then, Otose looked at Old man Kitagawa who was sitting in front of her, and asked, “Hey, that old man over there, where’s the fuse? What’s the reason for your relationship with your wife to fade? There should be a reason, right?”

“I don’t know…” Old man Kitagawa shook his head.

“How can you not know? This attitude is really infuriating.” Otose spat angrily, “Men are all like this. They don’t notice anything, that’s why they make women angry.”

Old man Kitagawa was silent for a while, and then he said, “As we grow older, the heart-pounding feeling when we look at each other becomes less and less, and when we find out, it’s completely…”

Old man Kitagawa took a sip of the tea and frowned as he complained, “She’s really heartless.”

“Wait a minute,” Otose frowned and said, “What you said just now seemed to be saying that all the mistakes were on your wife.”

“Huh? Really?”

“I think so too, it’s all in the tone of [All the faults are because my wife rejects me],” Kawaki interjected.

“Me to-aru,” Kagura raised her hand in agreement.

“But we are husband and wife.” Old man Kitagawa replied matter-of-factly.

“That’s the point!” Kawaki and Kagura pointed at Old man Kitagawa at the same time.

“What do you mean?” Old man Kitagawa was puzzled.

“You bastard,” Otose crossed her arms and looked at Old man Kitagawa unhappily, “Why do you take it for granted that your wife likes you? Isn’t it a bit too much?”




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