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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 303

Published at 15th of April 2024 05:58:27 AM


Chapter 303

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“Be humble, old man.” Kawaki shrugged and complained, “You weren’t like this when you were young, right? Why did you become like this now?”

“Hurry up and think about it!” Kagura said angrily, “That pure history-aru! Back to the time when you were young and full of youth! Only then will your wife’s mind change!”

“Yes, yes.” Otose nodded as well.

“What… what should I do?” Old man Kitagawa asked doubtfully.

“Don’t worry! Although I don’t know what the relationship between this old man and the old woman is like. If it is the love of that period of youthful years, I know it very well!” Kagura patted her chest with confidence, “Don’t underestimate me, who is chasing bubble love dramas every day!”

“No, your experience is completely useless,” Kawaki said expressionlessly. Then, he looked at Old man Kitagawa again and said with a smile, “Do you still remember? When you first dated, the first time you confessed! The current you need to find that feeling! The feeling of blushing and your heart beat with just a slight touch! The feeling of the sky spinning when you look at each other!”

“Eh?” Old man Kitagawa quickly waved his hand, “No, no, I have long forgotten about the first date. I have long forgotten about it.”

“That’s why men are forgetful.” Otose gently puffed out a cigarette, “If it’s a woman, she will definitely remember it very clearly.”

“Don’t worry,” Kawaki chuckled and took out his phone, “I can invite you a genuine innocent virgin man to teach you.”

Therefore, ten minutes later, Yamazaki, who had been assigned a special task by Sogo, came to the Otose store.

“Your task today is to let this old man regain the feeling of youth, which is to say, it is still the feeling of being a virgin!” Kawaki patted Yamazaki’s shoulder, which was frozen in place and had not reacted yet.

“Eh? Wait… Eh?!” Yamazaki, who obviously hadn’t figured out the situation yet, held his head in a frenzy, “Wait a minute! Didn’t Captain Okita say that it was an emergency mission?! Why is it such an unclear mission?! Boss, tell me what the situation is now!”

“Ah, didn’t I tell you everything just now?” Kawaki was puzzled, and then pointed at Old man Kitagawa again, “That means today you’re going to make him a virgin again!”

“I don’t understand at all! s it body modification?!” Yamazaki was a little crazy, “Speaking of which, the police also have a lot of work to do. Boss, don’t make things difficult for me.”

“Ah, don’t worry about that. I’ve already made a deal with your boss,” Kawaki took out his phone and said, “Look, that uncle has agreed.”

Looking at the message sent by Matsudaira on Kawaki’s mobile phone, [Virgin or something, just tell Kondo and the others about it. Use it casually! If you accidentally kill it, it doesn’t matter! This Uncle is fighting in the wine house, so I won’t talk much!] Yamazaki was speechless.

“No way! Why did he say it so casually!” Yamazaki was frantic, “Is my life so worthless?! What is going on in that uncle’s head!!”

“It’s okay, this time it will be a foreign assignment, and there is absolutely no danger, just trained this old man to be a virgin!” Kawaki comforted.

“Boss, can I choose to refuse?” Yamazaki asked weakly.

“That uncle said that it doesn’t matter if he is killed.” Kawaki narrowed his eyes and smiled.

Yamazaki, “… “



“So that’s how it is. Because of this, you need a pure and innocent young man like me…” After listening to Old man Kitagawa’s story, Yamazaki nodded, but in the next moment… “What the hell! Why do you have to let me do it?!”

“Because you are a virgin.” Kawaki and Kagura answered at the same time without thinking.

Hearing this, two veins popped up on Yamazaki’s face, “Don’t say it so matter-of-factly! Speaking of which, isn’t Shinpachi-kun also a virgin?! Why do you have to find me?!”

“Indeed, Shinpachi might be more suitable than you, but today, due to special reasons, Shinpachi can’t be involved.” Kawaki explained with his hands crossed, “So, I can only leave it to you! Cherryzaki-kun!”

“Hey, don’t name someone like that!!” Yamazaki shouted with a red face.

“I’ll leave it to you Cherrykawazaki! Cherryzaki!” Kagura also patted Yamazaki on the shoulder.

“My name is Yamazaki! Can you not give people that nickname! If the readers see it, it will be terrible!” Yamazaki shouted.

“That’s why at this time, you have to show your specialty! Let the readers see how serious you are!” Kawaki cheered, “Come on! Cherryzaki! Maybe you will become a popular character in one fell swoop! Don’t you want to ride on the head of your deputy nicotine?!”

“Ah… This… This…” Yamazaki asked, “Is it really possible for someone like me who doesn’t have any sense of presence? Can my popularity really soar?”

“Ah, it’s definitely possible!” Kawaki looked into Yamazaki’s eyes and said, “As long as you work hard, I believe you can do it! Don’t give up, Cherryzaki-kun! And we’ll be there to help you too!”

“Then… I will try…” Yamazaki touched the back of his head and said with some embarrassment.

Hearing this, Kawaki secretly gave a thumbs up to Kagura who was at the side [Tricking Complete].

“Old man, this person is your teacher today! You must do your best! For your wife, you must do your best!” Kawaki looked at Old Man Kitagawa and gave a thumbs up.



At the entrance of a convenience store.

Kawaki crossed his arms over his chest with one hand and pinched his chin with the other, “What is a virgin? What are the daily manifestations of a virgin? I thought about it for a long time, and finally…”

As he spoke, Kawaki suddenly opened his eyes and pointed at the convenience store, “That is an adult magazine! When it comes to a virgin, adult magazines are indispensable! “

“That makes sense-aru!” Kagura nodded, “When you think of a virgin, the first thing that comes to mind is an adult magazine!”

“No! Why do you think of such a thing!” Yamazaki said madly, “What is the structure of your head?!”

Ignoring Yamazaki who was hopping crazily on the spot, Kawaki looked at Old man Kitagawa, who was beside him, “Old man! Go ahead! Recalling the feeling of being a virgin, buy your favorite adult magazine! Go!”

“That’s right! Go! Grandpa!” Kagura also cheered.

“No need! Why do you have to do this kind of indifferent training!” Yamazaki complained crazily.

“I’m going…” Looking at the encouraging gazes of Kawaki and Kagura, Old man Kitagawa leaned on his walking stick and slowly walked toward the convenience store.

“Hey! He really went!” Yamazaki was in a bad mood.

On the other side, Old man Kitagawa slowly walked into the convenience store and walked directly to the bookshelf. He glanced at the adult magazines on the shelves and picked up a magazine [Charming Mature/Female] with a mosaic on it. He walked slowly to the counter and followed the back row of the crowd.

“Cherryzaki-kun, have you noticed any problems?” Kawaki looked at Yamazaki with a serious expression, “That old man really has a serious problem.”

“Indeed, it doesn’t look like a virgin at all.” Yamazaki nodded and analyzed, “Virgins don’t buy adult magazines like that!”

“As expected of the real virgin, he could tell the problem at a glance,” Kawaki nodded and praised, “Then, when he comes out, I will ask you to demonstrate the correct approach! Please!”

“Eh?!” Yamazaki couldn’t help but take a step back. He wanted to refuse, but when he saw Kawaki’s trusting gaze, he could only swallow the words of refusal. He scratched his head and said, “No… no choice. Then I can only come. After all, as a policeman, I should also pay attention to people’s daily lives…”

“Be more confident, Cheeryzaki-kun.” Kawaki smiled, “In this field, you are the well-deserved [protagonist] of this work.”

“Pro… Protagonist?!” Yamazaki pointed at himself in disbelief, his tongue tied, “Really?! Is my character really that prominent?!”

“Of course!” Kawaki replied without thinking, and silently added the latter half of the sentence in his heart: [Although it is the field of virginity… ]

“Alright! Now I can only be more energetic!” Yamazaki clenched his fists and said enthusiastically.

At this time, Old man Kitagawa took the adult magazine to the counter, pay the bill, and slowly walked out.

Before Old man Kitagawa approached, Yamazaki rushed forward and stood in front of Old man Kitagawa. He criticized with blackface, “Wrong! There was something wrong with what you did just now! It was completely different from a virgin! This is not a virgin’s way of buying!”

“Eh? Is that so?” Old man Kitagawa was surprised.

“Of course! What you did has nothing to do with virgin at all!” Yamazaki said with a serious face, “First of all! Why do you have to line up in front of the young girl’s cashier?! No! As a virgin, our virgin’s ally is the uncle’s cashier!”

“Second! When you take out an adult magazine, you have to use a normal magazine to cover the cover!”

“Third! After buying, you must stuff it into your clothes! Try to secretly bring it out! These are all basic!”

After hearing Yamazaki’s words, Old man Kitagawa muttered in disbelief, “Are… Are there still so many requirements?! It really isn’t easy to be a virgin…”

“By the way, if it were me, I would put it in the basket and pretend that I took it by mistake and put it in by accident.” Yamazaki said earnestly, “There are too many places you need to reform! Cherrygawa”

“I understand! Master! I will work hard!” Old man Kitagawa bowed.




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