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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 317

Published at 15th of April 2024 05:57:39 AM


Chapter 317

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Yoshiwara, early morning.

Feeling a strange feeling on his face, Kawaki expressionlessly opened his eyes, his veins popping out as he said, “Hey, I’m not that kind of perverted foot control bastard!”

But just as he finished speaking, Kawaki suddenly felt that something was wrong…



Breakfast time.

“Ahahaha! What are you wearing?” Kawaki clutched his stomach and couldn’t stop laughing, “Why is it a Phillips screwdriver? What kind of screwdriver are you playing with? Yoshiwara’s new event?”

Hearing Kawaki’s ridicule, two veins popped up on Tsukuyo’s face and they began to throb continuously. Then, Tsukuyo silently put down the bowl and chopsticks. She calmly took out two kunai and threw them out, stabbing them into Kawaki’s forehead.

The latter rolled his eyes and fell down, falling into a pool of blood, still twitching.

“Speaking of which, why did you become like this, Tsukki?” Hinowa smiled, then looked at Tsukuyo and asked, “Is it a costume you bought?”

“No, no,” Tsukuyo supported her chin with one hand and murmured, “I thought it was this idiot or Hyakka’s prank, but after asking, I knew it was not like that. Moreover, this is not something as simple as a costume, it can’t be taken off at all.”

“That’s really troublesome,” Hinowa frowned slightly, “When did it become like this?”

“It became like this when I woke up in the morning,” Tsukuyo replied.

“So it became like this when you slept, right?” Hinowa analyzed, “It looks like Yoshiwara needs to strengthen its security.”

“Yes, I have already arranged for Hyakka to do it.”

“But the most troublesome thing right now is to find the culprit who caused you to become like this earlier. You have to recover as soon as possible. This is also very inconvenient, right?” Hinowa said with a serious expression.

“Yoshiwara’s safety comes first, and this body is not so inconvenient,” Tsukuyo replied, “The strength of my body has increased a lot.”

“I see,” Kawaki sat up and pulled out the kunai on his head, “Since you think it doesn’t matter, Tsukki, then I am at ease.”

“Hey, what do you mean?” Tsukuyo looked at Kawaki indifferently.

“In fact, when I was playing games late last night, I suddenly saw light outside the window.” Kawaki stretched out his index finger and squinted his eyes, then he added with a smile, “I curiously peeked out and saw a flying saucer parked in front of your window, Tsukki. This is nothing special. I thought that you would be able to handle it, so I sat back to play games.”

As soon as Kawaki finished speaking, Tsukuyo stood up and kicked Kawaki away. She then scolded, “You should have said something like this earlier, bastard!”

“I thought it was just a dream…” Kawaki replied weakly, “And didn’t you say that you didn’t care?”

“How is that possible, bastard!”

“That is to say, it is the phenomenon of “strange occurrences,” Hinowa explains, “When we still didn’t know that Amanto existed in the past, humans were captured by a flying saucer, and their bodies were transformed without authorization. It seems that you were really involved in something terrible this time.”

“Hey, do you remember what the flying saucer looks like?” Tsukuyo looked at Kawaki.

“I don’t remember,” Kawaki got up and shook his head, “By the way, you were the one who was transformed, right? Can’t you remember anything?”

“I don’t remember anything at all,” Tsukuyo frowned, thought for a moment, then raised her head and replied.

“It seems that the memory has been cleared,” Hinowa analyzed.

“Actually, it’s not a big deal,” Kawaki twitched his lips, “If you are really not satisfied, I can introduce you to a plastic surgeon. I guarantee that you will be able to return to your original form. And you can get a 30% discount if you report my name.”

“Do you know such a reliable friend?” Tsukuyo’s face was full of disbelief.

“Of course.” Kawaki patted his chest and said, and then took out a business card from his bosom, “She previously boasted that she was the number one plastic surgeon in the universe. Although I haven’t seen her for a long time. “

“…”

“We can’t help it. In this case, we can only ask Kawaki-san’s friend.” Hinowa looked up at Tsukuyo.

“Well, although we know each other, let me remind you, don’t talk too much about me.” Kawaki put the business card on the table and said, “Just say that I introduced it.”

“Why?” Hinowa asked with a smile.

“The reason? Anyway, it’s very complicated. I can’t explain it.” Kawaki scratched his hair and could not think of any good adjectives, “It’s just… uh, it’s right. Just listen to me anyway.”

“It can’t be your former woman, right?” The moment Hinowa said this, the atmosphere was instantly cold.

After noticing the look in Tsukuyo’s eyes as if she was looking at a scumbag, Kawaki quickly waved his hand and laughed, “No! Maybe I did have a few bad relationships in the past, but this is indeed not the case!”

“For example, the chief of the Planet Oppai?” Hinowa narrowed her eyes and said with a smile.

“That’s not at all!” Kawaki corrected her righteously, “That was just a mistake! That can only be blamed on the Planet Oppai tradition! It is said that as long as you praise a woman, it is equivalent to a confession on Earth. Isn’t that too ridiculous? And after I learned about it, I seriously refused!”

“Is that so? Did nothing else happen? For example, a wonderful night or something?” Hinowa covered her mouth and teased.

“Why do you know?” Kawaki asked subconsciously, but then he reacted and hurriedly explained, “No! The wonderful night I said is different from the wonderful night you imagined! It is different from the wonderful night on Earth! Such a thing has never happened! I have never been such a casual man!”

After explaining, even if he did not see it with his own eyes, Kawaki could still clearly feel Tsukuyo’s gaze behind him, which was like looking at scum. He immediately stood up, scratched his head, and said awkwardly, “I need to go the toilet, I need to go the toilet, you guys eat first…”

After saying that, Kawaki left the place like he was escaping.

“It seems that our Lord King of the Night was also a playboy in the past.” Hinowa covered her face and smiled.

“He’s just a pure scum.” Tsukuyo snorted coldly.

However, just as she finished speaking, she saw Kawaki appear at the door again. However, unlike before, Kawaki had his head lowered and his face was expressionless. If one looked closely, one would find that Kawaki’s face was full of veins.

“What’s wrong?” asked Hinowa, “Are you angry at Tsukki’s words?”

“That kind of thing doesn’t matter anyway,” Kawaki raised his head, although his face was full of blue veins, he kept a refreshing smile, “I just want to ask Tsukki if she wants to destroy this world with me.”

Hearing this, Hinowa thought of something and stared at Kawaki’s shares.

“I woke up too late. It’s better to destroy this world as soon as possible.” Kawaki was still smiling, “Perhaps I only realized Takaji’s feelings now.”

“It seems that you need this business card more than me,” Tsukuyo picked up the business card on the table and sneered.

“How is this possible!” Kawaki stared with big red eyes and shouted, “This kind of thing, no matter how much it is modified, it can’t compare to the original!”



On the other side, the Yorozuya trio had just entered the Internet tea room and sat down. Before they could speak, Kagura’s mobile phone rang.

“It’s little uncle-aru.” Kagura took out her phone, pressed the answer button, and placed it beside her ear, “This is the novice flat-head screwdriver, Kagura-chan.”

“Oh,” said Kagura as she handed the phone to Gintoki, “Gin-chan, Little Uncle asked you to answer the phone.”

“I’m annoyed!” Gintoki slammed the phone on the table and pressed the loudspeaker button, “I’m now preparing to hunt and kill Amanto! Do you also want to be hunted by me?!”

Kawaki’s voice came from the phone, “No, how can that be? I just want to ask if you are interested in destroying this world with me. I’m going to contact Takaji and Zura later.”

“Not interested!” After saying that, Gintoki hung up the phone in frustration.

“Hey! It sounds like the situation over there is also very bad! Can you listen to Kawaki-san finish speaking?” Shinpachi complained crazily.

“Who cares! If the world is destroyed, it is destroyed! But before that, my world has already been destroyed first, bastard!” Gintoki shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Well, wait, at least listen to what happened on Kawaki-san’s side…” As he spoke, Shinpachi picked up Kagura’s phone…



In the Internet Tea Room, all five people present were expressionless.

After a long time, Shinpachi was the first to break the awkwardness. Looking at Tsukuyo who was sitting at the side, the corners of his mouth twitched and he said, “It seems that Kawaki-san also encountered the same situation as us…”

As he spoke, Shinpachi looked at Kawaki who was sitting beside Kagura, “But Kawaki-san doesn’t seem to be anything wrong…”

However, just as he spoke, Shinpachi suddenly thought of something and continued incoherently, “Could… could it be that Kawaki-san, like Gin-san, had his… stick become screwdriver?!!”

“Hey, Four Eyes,” Kawaki looked up and smiled, “Do you want to destroy this world together?”

“Don’t say such scary things with such a refreshing expression!” Shinpachi complained loudly. Then, Shinpachi found that Gintoki was secretly taking out a notebook and crossing Kawaki’s name on the notebook. He immediately asked expressionlessly, “Wait, Gin-san, what is that?”

“Of course, it is the list of people who might commit the crimes. In other words, it is an existence that must be erased.” Gintoki looked up and explained with a serious face.

“That’s enough! By the way, most of the people there are acquaintances! Why do you think they did it?! And didn’t I say it already? Cosmic people did it! “

“No, if you think about it carefully, these people all have the motive to commit the crime!” Gintoki explained with a ferocious face, “Even if there isn’t, Gin-san world has been destroyed, so there is nothing wrong with these people going to hell, right? Right?!”

“That’s right!”

“As expected of Gintoki.” Kawaki smiled and said, “But aren’t these people not enough? Since we want to kill them, why don’t we kill all the normal people in the world? Whether it is the people from the universe or the people from the earth, can’t we just destroy them all?”

“That’s right. Kawaki, you can occasionally come up with some good opinions.” Gintoki praised.

“Stop talking! You two, stop talking! Stop that dangerous talk!” Shinpachi hurriedly stopped them, “And Kawaki-san, you were on Gin-san’s list just now!”

“It doesn’t matter, because my kill list has always had Gintoki’s name on it,” Kawaki replied with a smile.




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