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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 318

Published at 15th of April 2024 05:57:37 AM


Chapter 318

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Kawaki: Hey! I’ll kill you! What do you mean by an unusable thing? If you bring up such a misleading title again, I’ll really kill you!

… The movie began…

Hearing this, Shinpachi’s forehead was covered in black lines. Then, he silently complained, “Miss Tsukuyo, there’s clearly something wrong with Kawaki-san today. He’s too scary. He’s even scarier than the last time Yagyu arc… That’s the gaze of a murderer, right? That’s the gaze of someone who wants to kill, right?”

Tsukuyo was silent.

“Gin-san alone is already troublesome enough. In the end, there’s another Kawaki-san. If we can’t stop the two of them, something big will really happen…” Shinpachi looked up at the two people who were clearly on the verge of going berserk on the opposite side of the table.

“Actually…” At this time, Tsukuyo explained, “When I just found out, that idiot did not lose his mind as he did now. At that time, at least he still had his reason. But, since that incident…”

After a pause, Tsukuyo still wanted to open her mouth and continue, but in the end, she chose to give up.

“That incident? What happened? What is it? Is there anything more important than a man’s stick turning into a screwdriver? Really?!” Shinpachi looked at Kawaki in horror.

Looking at the confused Shinpachi, Tsukuyo slowly explained, Actually, before contacting you, this idiot and I were at the ticket gate of the terminal(space station)…”

Before Tsukuyo could finish speaking, she was interrupted by Kawaki, who was already on the verge of going berserk.

“What does that mean?! What do you mean you can’t bring metal onto the spaceship?! Ah?! Even if it has been transformed into an unknown type of screwdriver, isn’t it still my [Beep—]?! Is it discrimination? Is it discrimination? Discriminate against me for having a different [Beep—]?! When the relevant regulations are issued in the future, it is stipulated that people with [Beep—] are not allowed to board the spaceship! Ah?! It should be like this Right?! Right!!”

“Although I have figured out why Kawaki-san became like this, I don’t know how to ridicule him.” Shinpachi adjusted his glasses and replied expressionlessly. Then, he raised his head and forced a smile. He explained, “Also, Kawaki-san is probably a Robertson screwdriver.”

“What Robertson screwdriver?! Have you ever seen a dodecagonal screwdriver?! Where on earth can you use such a screwdriver? Tell me, tell me! “

After saying that, Kawaki turned his face and spat out mouthfuls of water into the corridor.

“There are actually six more edges than Gin-san…” Shinpachi was speechless. Then he quickly waved his hand and comforted, “Kawaki-san, in fact, we are not ignorant of the two aliens. Although we don’t know which planet this Amanto is from, and we don’t know where he is, the only thing we know now is that they love to play [Monkey Hunter]. Maybe we can catch them by following these clues. That is the only way to do it.”

“What is that-aru? That [MONHAN]…” Kagura asked, “Is it Mongolian Hamster-aru?”

“[MONKEY HUNTER] collectively referred to as [MONHUN](Monkey Hunter).” Shinpachi explained seriously, “The players become hunters and enjoy the game of hunting life in a stage inhabited by various monster monkeys. Those guys seem to be playing the PSP version, but the latest version has been ported to the Internet. We are really lucky.”

“The online version is in the network field. All the players in the Milky Way come into contact with each other and play together. No matter where those guys are in the universe, as long as we set up an inescapable net in the game, we will definitely be able to meet them.”

(PS: Spoof of Monster Hunter)

“Do you want to find those guys in the game where all the players in the Milky Way gather?” Kagura concluded. Then, she showed a face of impatience and dug her nose, “It’s really troublesome.”

“There’s nothing we can do about it. There are no clues. The only place that those gamers will definitely come to is…”

Before Shinpachi could finish, he heard Kawaki, who was facing him, laugh…

“Hahahahaha…” Kawaki laughed crazily. Then, he looked up at Shinpachi with a fierce face and said, “There are no clues? No, didn’t you just say that the other party is Amanto from a certain planet in the Milky Way? Then, how about destroying the entire Milky Way Galaxy? It must be faster than you searching in that stupid game, right?”

“Hey! Stop your dangerous speech!” Shinpachi hurriedly stopped him, “And the other party might be hiding on Earth right now. Even if you destroy the entire Milky Way, it would be useless, right?”

“No, at the very least, we can slaughter all of their family members.” Gintoki raised his head and looked at Shinpachi. It could be seen that Gintoki had already gone berserk, “If [Beep——] has been taken away, then just take it away. Then, shouldn’t the other party return a little gift? How about using their entire race as a return gift?!”

“At this level, even we can barely accept it.” Kawaki echoed, “In this way, I can also fall asleep peacefully listening to the screams of that race being slaughtered, Shinpachi-kun.”

“Hey, these two people are really not playing around when they go berserk,” Shinpachi silently retorted, “Miss Tsukuyo, Kagura-chan, no matter what, we have to think of a way to calm these two down.”

“It’s only natural that we go berserk!” Kawaki and Gintoki roared at the same time.

“Shinpachi, you are really lucky!” Gintoki leaned close to Shinpachi and shouted loudly, “Of your ten analog sticks, only one got turned into a screwdriver! I, on the other hand, have only one in the entire world, an extremely rare analog stick… No, joystick… and now it’s useless?! Eh?”

“Gin-san, your voice is too loud.” Sensing the gazes of the surrounding guests, Shinpachi hurriedly suppressed his voice and reminded in a low voice, “The surrounding guests have all looked over.”

However, Gintoki remained unmoved and continued, “Moreover, why is it a hex socket screwdriver? Why is it hexagonal? Why is it only half of this guy? Is it discrimination?! Are aliens shortsighted as well?! This guy is dodecagonal, and I, Gin-san, have to be at least icositetragon(24 sides), no, hexatriacontagon(36 sides), right?!”

“Is this what you care about?!” Shinpachi couldn’t help but complain, “Are there such geometric shapes screwdrivers?! Aren’t they all useless screwdrivers?!”

“I just don’t like it!” Gintoki slapped the table and stood up, “It doesn’t matter what kind of planet! Isn’t it just an Amanto? Then, wouldn’t it be good to kill the Amanto one by one?!”

“In the final analysis, shouldn’t you be the one who should be transformed the most? Shinpachi.” Kawaki opened his eyes and stared at Shinpachi with his big red eyes.

“That’s right! You should be the one whose place should be transformed!” Gintoki glared at Shinpachi.

“Why?!”

“You can’t get rid of your virginity for the rest of your life, so it doesn’t matter even if that place is changed into a useless screwdriver!” Gintoki roared.

“Hey! You two are going too far! Why am I destined to be a virgin?!” Shinpachi was also angry and shouted with veins popping out, “Why are you venting all your frustration on me because your [Beep—] has been transformed into a screwdriver?! Your personalities are too bad!”

“I also feel that it is a bit biased-aru,” Kagura cross her hands and nodded, “If it is really necessary to transform it into a screwdriver, the first place will undoubtedly be Shinpachi, and the second place will be Gin-chan, and the little uncle.”

“No, I think this idiot should be the first place.” Tsukuyo looked at Kawaki, who was facing her, and said, “But the other two are about the same. Let’s tie it for the first place.”

“Oh, amazing.” Kagura squinted her eyes and said perfunctorily, “Just like a team getting first place in a competition-aru”

“Hey! Even the two of you are saying that?!” Shinpachi’s eyes were white, and his veins were popping out, “By the way, do you think I am destined to be a virgin forever? Who can decide what will happen in the future? And don’t underestimate virgins! A man who still practiced the way of virgins at the age of thirty can become the Hand of God, Taka Kato! Bastards! “

“Why? With the Phillips screwdriver on your right index finger?!” Kawaki roared.

“Hey!!!”



Shinpachi was panting slightly as he sat in his seat. Just now, Shinpachi had fought three opponents by himself(Gintoki + Kawaki + Kagura), and he was not at a disadvantage.

After picking up the cup and drinking a mouthful of water, Shinpachi gradually calmed down. He sighed and said, “Let’s stop arguing for now. The most urgent situation at present is to find out from the existing clues. This is our only clue.”

“Absolutely unforgivable!” Gintoki clenched his fists and said fiercely, “I’ll drag them out of cyberspace and tear their analog sticks apart! I swear, I swear I’ll get my stick back!”

“No, all of them should be transformed into PSPs! After finding them, the balls should be transformed into display screens, and the sticks should be transformed into handles!” Kawaki gritted his teeth and echoed, “Don’t they like to play games? Let us play using the game console transform from their [Beep—] for the rest of their lives! bastard!”

“Alright, let’s go!” Kawaki and Gintoki stood up at the same time and shouted.

“Yes!” The rest of them stood up at the same time.

“Well, it’s too crowded, I’ll go to the computer over there. Let’s split up,” Shinpachi suggested, “Everyone gathers at the entrance of the assembly hall after entering the game.”



Shinpachi sat in front of the computer. After a long wait, the opening animation of the Monkey Hunter game finally ended.

[Welcome to the world of [MONKEY HUNTER]. This is the dream-like adventure space where all the Hunters of the Milky Way gather…]

Ignoring the endless introduction, Shinpachi directly moved the mouse to hit the start of the adventure. Then, he used his real name to create a plain-looking glasses character with no sense of presence. Shinpachi’s screen began to load.

After a few seconds of animation, the character created by Shinpachi has come out of the Novice Village…

At the same time, the rest of the people had also entered the game. [Battle to regain the original body] had officially begun!




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