“BLARRGHHH—”
Chang Jiabao had received a whole mouthful of raw chicken guts, and the bloody, gamey smell filled his mouth and nostrils at once. The mushy, sticky sensation made him vomit immediately.
“AHHH!” screeched the aunt in shock. She had not thought that Chang Qi would react this way. She quickly pulled her son over and slapped his back.
“Spit it out, quick!”
Chang Qi’s mother heard the noise, and ran out in a hurry. She only had enough time to shove her toes into her shoes, and her heels pressed the back of the shoes flat. She wore a coarse luoqun (ancient Chinese ladies’ clothing) and a wooden hairpin in her simply done hair. Her face and pale and her steps unsteady, but none of this detracted from her beauty.
It was precisely because she was too beautiful, Chang Qi’s maternal grandmother had insisted on giving his mother the name “Chang Er” (the name of a fairy), saying that her daughter was more beautiful than the fairy on the moon. Chang Qi personally had always thought that his mother was indeed a fairy.
“What’s all this?” Chang Er asked, pulling Chang Qi towards her protectively just as his aunt was about to push him. “What trouble have you gotten into this time?”
The last question was addressed to Chang Qi.
“Cousin wanted to eat the chicken I bought, so I was just giving him a taste,” Chang Qi said innocently.
“You little monster, how could you stuff chicken guts into your cousin’s mouth?! That stuff is so dirty, he’ll get chicken plague!” the aunt said. She had earlier picked up a gourd ladle and scooped some water for her son to rinse his mouth, and now was able to focus her attention on disparaging Chang Qi. She picked up the chicken guts that Chang Jiabao spat out earlier and made to feed them to Chang Qi.
“Now it’s your turn! Try it for yourself!” the aunt said angrily.
Chang Er furrowed her brows and took a step back, simultaneously pulling Chang Qi back with her.
“Tsk, this woman is so shameless. She gave birth to a little bastard and lets him bully her elder brother’s son! Who does she think her son is?” Mrs Zhang, the next-door neighbour said critically, tutting all the way.
“Exactly. If it were me, I’d have strangled the little bastard, and then jumped into a river myself,” Mrs Zhang’s mother-in-law said with a sneer.
“BLARGHHH—” Chang Jiabao had originally managed to stop his retching, but when he saw his mother pick out the chicken intestines from the heap of vomit, he couldn’t help but start vomiting again.
Chang Er grit her teeth, raised her hand, and smacked down on Chang Qi’s buttocks hard.
“See what happens when you’re not obedient! We don’t even know when your noble father is going to come bring us with him! How are you going to live to see your dad if you keep making trouble like this? I’ve told you so many times, give way to your little cousin! Why don’t you listen?”
Chang Er continued to hit Chang Qi as she shouted this, and the loud thwacks made by Chang Er’s palm hitting Chang Qi’s clothes resonated in the courtyard. Chang Er’s voice was rather shrill, and when she raised her voice, the neighbours could all hear her loud and clear.
The Zhang family’s necks shrank back a little. They had heard that Chang Qi’s father was a member of the high nobility before, but Chang Er had not mentioned this recently, and they had all forgotten.
When Chang Er’s palm came into contact with Chang Qi’s body, he froze for a moment, then cried out piteously.
“Wahhhh!”
The sound was so heart-rending that even his aunt got a shock.
Upon seeing Chang Qi cry so pitifully, the neighbours also started to find the scene a bit unbearable. Mrs Qiu, the opposite neighbour, came out and tried to persuade Chang Er to stop.
“Madam Chang, do stop – your child is so young, he can’t stand this kind of beating!”
Chang Qi was a good looking child, and good looking children cried prettily. Huge teardrops fell from his eyes, and his eyes and nose were red from crying. He looked particularly pitiable.
Many neighbours came forward thereafter to persuade Chang Er to stop, and just then, Chang Qi’s uncle returned as well. Seeing that his front yard was again surrounded by people, he hurriedly went up and asked, “What’s going on?”
Chang Er was as beautiful as a fairy from heaven, but her brother was the exact opposite, with coarse and unrefined features. One might even call him ugly. There was no family resemblance between Chang Er and her brother at all.
“Chang Sheng, you’re finally home! Quick, stop your sister – she’s going to injure the kid if she goes on like this! And your wife – she refuses to give in at all!” Mrs Qiu said in a huff. She was somewhat angered by this point.
Mrs Qiu was Old Uncle Qiu’s wife. Old Uncle Qiu held a high position in the farmlands, and everyone treated Mrs Qiu with respect.
“Mom, I’m sorry… boohoohoo…” Chang Qi persisted with his pitiful wailing, presenting a truly heart-rending sight.
Chang Sheng looked at his pitiful little nephew, then at his domineering wife. It was obvious who the aggressor and the victim looked to be here. The neighbours were all pointing and whispering, and he felt like he was rapidly losing face.
“Alright, alright, stop messing around!” he said, pulling his sister away before turning to scold his wife. “You make trouble every day – don’t you think you’re running out of face to lose?”
Chang Er did not say anything after this, led the still sniffling Chang Qi back to their house, and closed the door. Tears were still rolling from Chang Qi’s eyes. Chang Er couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes and poking his forehead with her index finger.
“Alright, that will do, you bratty bastard,” she said. “You can stop pretending!”*
Chang Qi blinked innocently, eyeballed the closed door, then wiped his face with a dirty hand. The dust and dirt on mixed with his tears and streaked his face with grey, making his appearance even more pitiful. There wasn’t even a hint of sorrow on his face – he smiled brightly as he held out the half-chicken to his mother.
“Let’s boil some chicken soup!” he said.
“You only know how to eat!” Chang Er said, glaring at him. Her fierce response belay her motherly actions, however – she picked up a cloth, wet it, and started wiping the grey streaks off his face as if his face were a table.
Chang Qi raised his face, allowing his mother to clean his face.
“You’re not well, so you should eat some nourishing food…” Chang Qi said into the cloth that was busily wiping his face, his voice muffled. When his mother didn’t say anything in response, he carelessly said, “When I’ve grown up a bit more, let’s leave.”
Chang Er stopped wiping his face and flicked his forehead with a finger.
“Leave? Where would we go to? In this world, if you’re not skilled in martial arts, it’s hard to do anything. You don’t even learn martial arts from your uncle properly like I told you to.”
Chang Qi pursed his lips. His uncle only knew some low-level gongfu, the kind that even if he reached the pinnacle of cultivation, he’d still rank as a hard labourer in the grand scheme of things.
“I will definitely become the most famous Daxia (warrior/hero) in the world! And when I do, I will own a thousand-acre chicken farm, and have chicken to eat at every meal!” he said exuberantly.
At this time, Chang Er had the chicken in hand, and was preparing to cook it.
“Ok, I await the day when the Chicken Farm Hero shakes the foundations of the martial arts world,” she said, chuckling.
Chang Qi jumped to sit proudly on the table, and dangled his legs under the table, swinging them back and forth playfully.
The pot of chicken soup was ready. Chang Er scooped out the chicken leg and placed it in a bowl. After removing the chicken leg, there was basically no meat left on the half-chicken. She turned to look at her skinny little son, furrowed her brows, then put the chicken leg back into the pot, scooping out a chicken wing to put into the bowl instead.
“You eat first, I’ll go give some to your uncle,” she said, pouring the contents of the pot into a large soup tureen. She set the tureen down on the dining table. Food did not keep well in the summer heat, and had to be finished in one sitting. Chang Er and Chang Qi weren’t very particular about dining etiquette, and were quite happy to just eat out of the soup tureen.
Chang Qi looked at the coarse earthen bowl in his mother’s hand that was filled with chicken soup and a wing. He knew it was meant for Chang Jiabao. He pushed himself off the table, landing on the floor firmly.
“Let’s eat first. I’ll send the soup over after we’re done,” he said. Chang Qi’s reasoning was that he and his mother should eat their fill first, in case something cropped up in between.
He and Chang Er polished off all the chicken, and all that was left was the wing in the earthen bowl that was meant for Chang Jiabao, and a chicken backside. Chang Qi wrapped the chicken in oilcloth, and put it carefully into the front folds of his clothes. He picked up the earthen bowl and went to the forecourt.
Chang Qi fished out the yellow packet he bought from the rat poison seller in town. Chang Qi bit his lip in thought, and eventually didn’t put any of the yellow packet’s contents into the soup, settling for spitting into the soup instead.
“Uncle, Mother said me to bring this for Cousin Jiabao,” Chang Qi said. Chang Qi had a pair of peach blossom eyes, and the corners of his eyes naturally had a pale pink blush. This blush was even more pronounced now because he had cried earlier. He deferentially raised the earthen bowl above his head with both hands, and cast his large, slightly reddened eyes at his Uncle, looking as good as gold.
At this sight, Chang Sheng felt very sorry for Chang Qi.
“Xiao Qi, why don’t you eat this yourself? Jiabao has already eaten.”
Chang Qi said nothing, maintaining his position with the bowl in his hands above his head.
In this situation, Uncle Chang Sheng could only extend a hand to accept the bowl of chicken soup. He fished around in the front folds of his clothes, brought out two pieces of sweetcake that he had bought in town earlier, and gave them to Chang Qi.
“Thank you, Uncle,” Chang Qi said, accepting the two sweetcakes before turning to leave. Upon leaving the forecourt, he headed toward the plum orchard that was east of the chicken farm.
Because the Lady of the Jingang Sect loved to eat plums, the farmlands here had lots of plum orchards. It was plum season, and the enticing smell of sweet plums filled the air for miles around.
There were many children in the farmlands, but not a single one dared to steal the plums. The reason for this was a strange, gnarled old man who guarded the plum orchard. No one knew his name, so they just called him Old Man Plum.
“Old Man Plum, Old Man Plum!” Chang Qi shouted. He had squeezed through a gap in the fence and was standing under a plum tree.
“What? You are so noisy!” said a hoarse old voice. The voice came from a dilapidated little hut. Before long, a rickety figure that was blind in one eye shambled out from the hut.
Chang Qi ran over, and presented him with the oilcloth-wrapped chicken backside and the two sweetcakes. “Here, this is for you,” he said.
“You brat, why is there only a chicken backside?” Old Man Plum looked around for a tree root to sit on, picking up the oilcloth packet for a sniff as he did so.
“It was really hard to come by even a bit of chicken, and my Aunt took it all. There were only some bones left, and this chicken backside. I took the bones to make soup for my mother, and saved the chicken backside for you,” Chang Qi said, pursing his lips.
“Hmpf, fine, I accept,” Old Man Plum said, eating the chicken backside with gusto. He pulled out a battered book from a snarl of tree roots, and tossed it to Chang Qi, soil and all. “I’ll teach you the 18th sentence today. Remember it well.”
The battered book was very old, and its pages were tattered and torn. On its cover were the words “Tianyan Wan Xiang Gong”. The first time Chang Qi saw this book, he thought he had obtained a rare secret book, and was so excited that he could not sleep the entire night. Subsequently, he found out from the ruffians in town that the Tianyan stances were just basic exercises for beginners that all practitioners of Qi martial arts had to learn, regardless of their sect.
Even though these were just basic exercises, in the whole of the farmlands, only Old Man Plum had any knowledge of it. Chang Qi took his lessons with Old Man Plum seriously. In the very least, he could learn how to read.
“Gather the qi of heaven and earth at the Shaoyang meridian…” Old Man Plum said, reading from the book with his mouth full of chicken.
“How do you read this word?” Chang Qi asked, pointing at a character.
“That’s ‘gang’, the same ‘gang’ used in ‘tian gang di sha’… Hey you little brat, you’re reading stuff at the back!”
The page Chang Qi pointed at was one of the last few pages, and Old Man Plum suddenly realized that Chang Qi had nearly read the whole book.
“I’m just trying to learn how to read,” Chang Qi said, smiling sweetly as he returned the book to Old Man Plum. He dusted off his buttocks, stood up, grabbed a few plums, and took to his heels.
“Stop there! You’re stealing plums again!” Old Man Qi shouted, getting up to chase Chang Qi. He was too late; Chang Qi was long gone.
On the way back, he passed by the Zhang family’s house. There was a small ruckus happening inside, with Mrs Zhang scolding her son loudly.
“You are not to play with Chang Qi in future, you hear me? His mother is a shameless woman…”
At dawn the next day, when the sky was just beginning to brighten with the first rays of the sun, Chang Qi crawled out of bed, rubbed his eyes, and picked up the cold kettle and drank a few gulps of icy water. He picked up a straw basket at the door, and headed to the chicken farm. The earlier he got to the chicken farm, the more eggs he would be able to collect.
“Xiao Qi always picks the most,” Old Mr Qiu said, smiling as he distributed the reward for their efforts: one chicken egg. They could ask for a boiled egg or a raw egg. As the child who collected the most eggs, he was rewarded with two eggs, one raw, and one boiled.
He kept the raw egg in his clothes, and peeled the boiled egg to eat, to the envy of the other children.
The Zhang family’s son and Chang Jiabao huddled together, whispering to each other, whilst the other children were all gathered around Chang Qi.
“Chang Qi, your mom said yesterday that your dad is some high noble – what kind of noble is he?” one of the children asked curiously.
“If I said it, I’d scare you all to death!” Chang Qi grinned. “But I’ll tell you something. My mom is a divine fairy who enjoys heaven’s protection. If you say anything bad about her, you’ll get sores on your mouth and tongue, and the soles of your feet will be filled with pus!”
“Really?” some of the children said dubiously.
“He’s for real,” the Qiu family’s grandson said, remembering something. He imitated his granny’s mannerisms, slapping his thigh before continuing dramatically. “This morning, I saw Aunty Zhang, and her mouth was covered in huge sores!”
Author’s note
Mini-scene: Prophecies are usually only half fulfilled
Qiqi: My mum is a fairy, whoever talks bad about her will get sores in their mouth
Neighbour: Aiyar! The Zhang family have all got huge sores on their mouths!
Qiqi: My dad is a nobleman, one day he will give me wealth and riches
Emperor: You’re absolutely right, why don’t you drop by and offer your body?
Qiqi: The one I love is a great hero, one day he will ride on clouds to come get me
Niaogong: Chiu?
Qiqi: ……
“BLARRGHHH—”
Chang Jiabao had received a whole mouthful of raw chicken guts, and the bloody, gamey smell filled his mouth and nostrils at once. The mushy, sticky sensation made him vomit immediately.
“AHHH!” screeched the aunt in shock. She had not thought that Chang Qi would react this way. She quickly pulled her son over and slapped his back.
“Spit it out, quick!”
Chang Qi’s mother heard the noise, and ran out in a hurry. She only had enough time to shove her toes into her shoes, and her heels pressed the back of the shoes flat. She wore a coarse luoqun (ancient Chinese ladies’ clothing) and a wooden hairpin in her simply done hair. Her face and pale and her steps unsteady, but none of this detracted from her beauty.
It was precisely because she was too beautiful, Chang Qi’s maternal grandmother had insisted on giving his mother the name “Chang Er” (the name of a fairy), saying that her daughter was more beautiful than the fairy on the moon. Chang Qi personally had always thought that his mother was indeed a fairy.
“What’s all this?” Chang Er asked, pulling Chang Qi towards her protectively just as his aunt was about to push him. “What trouble have you gotten into this time?”
The last question was addressed to Chang Qi.
“Cousin wanted to eat the chicken I bought, so I was just giving him a taste,” Chang Qi said innocently.
“You little monster, how could you stuff chicken guts into your cousin’s mouth?! That stuff is so dirty, he’ll get chicken plague!” the aunt said. She had earlier picked up a gourd ladle and scooped some water for her son to rinse his mouth, and now was able to focus her attention on disparaging Chang Qi. She picked up the chicken guts that Chang Jiabao spat out earlier and made to feed them to Chang Qi.
“Now it’s your turn! Try it for yourself!” the aunt said angrily.
Chang Er furrowed her brows and took a step back, simultaneously pulling Chang Qi back with her.
“Tsk, this woman is so shameless. She gave birth to a little bastard and lets him bully her elder brother’s son! Who does she think her son is?” Mrs Zhang, the next-door neighbour said critically, tutting all the way.
“Exactly. If it were me, I’d have strangled the little bastard, and then jumped into a river myself,” Mrs Zhang’s mother-in-law said with a sneer.
“BLARGHHH—” Chang Jiabao had originally managed to stop his retching, but when he saw his mother pick out the chicken intestines from the heap of vomit, he couldn’t help but start vomiting again.
Chang Er grit her teeth, raised her hand, and smacked down on Chang Qi’s buttocks hard.
“See what happens when you’re not obedient! We don’t even know when your noble father is going to come bring us with him! How are you going to live to see your dad if you keep making trouble like this? I’ve told you so many times, give way to your little cousin! Why don’t you listen?”
Chang Er continued to hit Chang Qi as she shouted this, and the loud thwacks made by Chang Er’s palm hitting Chang Qi’s clothes resonated in the courtyard. Chang Er’s voice was rather shrill, and when she raised her voice, the neighbours could all hear her loud and clear.
The Zhang family’s necks shrank back a little. They had heard that Chang Qi’s father was a member of the high nobility before, but Chang Er had not mentioned this recently, and they had all forgotten.
When Chang Er’s palm came into contact with Chang Qi’s body, he froze for a moment, then cried out piteously.
“Wahhhh!”
The sound was so heart-rending that even his aunt got a shock.
Upon seeing Chang Qi cry so pitifully, the neighbours also started to find the scene a bit unbearable. Mrs Qiu, the opposite neighbour, came out and tried to persuade Chang Er to stop.
“Madam Chang, do stop – your child is so young, he can’t stand this kind of beating!”
Chang Qi was a good looking child, and good looking children cried prettily. Huge teardrops fell from his eyes, and his eyes and nose were red from crying. He looked particularly pitiable.
Many neighbours came forward thereafter to persuade Chang Er to stop, and just then, Chang Qi’s uncle returned as well. Seeing that his front yard was again surrounded by people, he hurriedly went up and asked, “What’s going on?”
Chang Er was as beautiful as a fairy from heaven, but her brother was the exact opposite, with coarse and unrefined features. One might even call him ugly. There was no family resemblance between Chang Er and her brother at all.
“Chang Sheng, you’re finally home! Quick, stop your sister – she’s going to injure the kid if she goes on like this! And your wife – she refuses to give in at all!” Mrs Qiu said in a huff. She was somewhat angered by this point.
Mrs Qiu was Old Uncle Qiu’s wife. Old Uncle Qiu held a high position in the farmlands, and everyone treated Mrs Qiu with respect.
“Mom, I’m sorry… boohoohoo…” Chang Qi persisted with his pitiful wailing, presenting a truly heart-rending sight.
Chang Sheng looked at his pitiful little nephew, then at his domineering wife. It was obvious who the aggressor and the victim looked to be here. The neighbours were all pointing and whispering, and he felt like he was rapidly losing face.
“Alright, alright, stop messing around!” he said, pulling his sister away before turning to scold his wife. “You make trouble every day – don’t you think you’re running out of face to lose?”
Chang Er did not say anything after this, led the still sniffling Chang Qi back to their house, and closed the door. Tears were still rolling from Chang Qi’s eyes. Chang Er couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes and poking his forehead with her index finger.
“Alright, that will do, you bratty bastard,” she said. “You can stop pretending!”*
Chang Qi blinked innocently, eyeballed the closed door, then wiped his face with a dirty hand. The dust and dirt on mixed with his tears and streaked his face with grey, making his appearance even more pitiful. There wasn’t even a hint of sorrow on his face – he smiled brightly as he held out the half-chicken to his mother.
“Let’s boil some chicken soup!” he said.
“You only know how to eat!” Chang Er said, glaring at him. Her fierce response belay her motherly actions, however – she picked up a cloth, wet it, and started wiping the grey streaks off his face as if his face were a table.
Chang Qi raised his face, allowing his mother to clean his face.
“You’re not well, so you should eat some nourishing food…” Chang Qi said into the cloth that was busily wiping his face, his voice muffled. When his mother didn’t say anything in response, he carelessly said, “When I’ve grown up a bit more, let’s leave.”
Chang Er stopped wiping his face and flicked his forehead with a finger.
“Leave? Where would we go to? In this world, if you’re not skilled in martial arts, it’s hard to do anything. You don’t even learn martial arts from your uncle properly like I told you to.”
Chang Qi pursed his lips. His uncle only knew some low-level gongfu, the kind that even if he reached the pinnacle of cultivation, he’d still rank as a hard labourer in the grand scheme of things.
“I will definitely become the most famous Daxia (warrior/hero) in the world! And when I do, I will own a thousand-acre chicken farm, and have chicken to eat at every meal!” he said exuberantly.
At this time, Chang Er had the chicken in hand, and was preparing to cook it.
“Ok, I await the day when the Chicken Farm Hero shakes the foundations of the martial arts world,” she said, chuckling.
Chang Qi jumped to sit proudly on the table, and dangled his legs under the table, swinging them back and forth playfully.
The pot of chicken soup was ready. Chang Er scooped out the chicken leg and placed it in a bowl. After removing the chicken leg, there was basically no meat left on the half-chicken. She turned to look at her skinny little son, furrowed her brows, then put the chicken leg back into the pot, scooping out a chicken wing to put into the bowl instead.
“You eat first, I’ll go give some to your uncle,” she said, pouring the contents of the pot into a large soup tureen. She set the tureen down on the dining table. Food did not keep well in the summer heat, and had to be finished in one sitting. Chang Er and Chang Qi weren’t very particular about dining etiquette, and were quite happy to just eat out of the soup tureen.
Chang Qi looked at the coarse earthen bowl in his mother’s hand that was filled with chicken soup and a wing. He knew it was meant for Chang Jiabao. He pushed himself off the table, landing on the floor firmly.
“Let’s eat first. I’ll send the soup over after we’re done,” he said. Chang Qi’s reasoning was that he and his mother should eat their fill first, in case something cropped up in between.
He and Chang Er polished off all the chicken, and all that was left was the wing in the earthen bowl that was meant for Chang Jiabao, and a chicken backside. Chang Qi wrapped the chicken in oilcloth, and put it carefully into the front folds of his clothes. He picked up the earthen bowl and went to the forecourt.
Chang Qi fished out the yellow packet he bought from the rat poison seller in town. Chang Qi bit his lip in thought, and eventually didn’t put any of the yellow packet’s contents into the soup, settling for spitting into the soup instead.
“Uncle, Mother said me to bring this for Cousin Jiabao,” Chang Qi said. Chang Qi had a pair of peach blossom eyes, and the corners of his eyes naturally had a pale pink blush. This blush was even more pronounced now because he had cried earlier. He deferentially raised the earthen bowl above his head with both hands, and cast his large, slightly reddened eyes at his Uncle, looking as good as gold.
At this sight, Chang Sheng felt very sorry for Chang Qi.
“Xiao Qi, why don’t you eat this yourself? Jiabao has already eaten.”
Chang Qi said nothing, maintaining his position with the bowl in his hands above his head.
In this situation, Uncle Chang Sheng could only extend a hand to accept the bowl of chicken soup. He fished around in the front folds of his clothes, brought out two pieces of sweetcake that he had bought in town earlier, and gave them to Chang Qi.
“Thank you, Uncle,” Chang Qi said, accepting the two sweetcakes before turning to leave. Upon leaving the forecourt, he headed toward the plum orchard that was east of the chicken farm.
Because the Lady of the Jingang Sect loved to eat plums, the farmlands here had lots of plum orchards. It was plum season, and the enticing smell of sweet plums filled the air for miles around.
There were many children in the farmlands, but not a single one dared to steal the plums. The reason for this was a strange, gnarled old man who guarded the plum orchard. No one knew his name, so they just called him Old Man Plum.
“Old Man Plum, Old Man Plum!” Chang Qi shouted. He had squeezed through a gap in the fence and was standing under a plum tree.
“What? You are so noisy!” said a hoarse old voice. The voice came from a dilapidated little hut. Before long, a rickety figure that was blind in one eye shambled out from the hut.
Chang Qi ran over, and presented him with the oilcloth-wrapped chicken backside and the two sweetcakes. “Here, this is for you,” he said.
“You brat, why is there only a chicken backside?” Old Man Plum looked around for a tree root to sit on, picking up the oilcloth packet for a sniff as he did so.
“It was really hard to come by even a bit of chicken, and my Aunt took it all. There were only some bones left, and this chicken backside. I took the bones to make soup for my mother, and saved the chicken backside for you,” Chang Qi said, pursing his lips.
“Hmpf, fine, I accept,” Old Man Plum said, eating the chicken backside with gusto. He pulled out a battered book from a snarl of tree roots, and tossed it to Chang Qi, soil and all. “I’ll teach you the 18th sentence today. Remember it well.”
The battered book was very old, and its pages were tattered and torn. On its cover were the words “Tianyan Wan Xiang Gong”. The first time Chang Qi saw this book, he thought he had obtained a rare secret book, and was so excited that he could not sleep the entire night. Subsequently, he found out from the ruffians in town that the Tianyan stances were just basic exercises for beginners that all practitioners of Qi martial arts had to learn, regardless of their sect.
Even though these were just basic exercises, in the whole of the farmlands, only Old Man Plum had any knowledge of it. Chang Qi took his lessons with Old Man Plum seriously. In the very least, he could learn how to read.
“Gather the qi of heaven and earth at the Shaoyang meridian…” Old Man Plum said, reading from the book with his mouth full of chicken.
“How do you read this word?” Chang Qi asked, pointing at a character.
“That’s ‘gang’, the same ‘gang’ used in ‘tian gang di sha’… Hey you little brat, you’re reading stuff at the back!”
The page Chang Qi pointed at was one of the last few pages, and Old Man Plum suddenly realized that Chang Qi had nearly read the whole book.
“I’m just trying to learn how to read,” Chang Qi said, smiling sweetly as he returned the book to Old Man Plum. He dusted off his buttocks, stood up, grabbed a few plums, and took to his heels.
“Stop there! You’re stealing plums again!” Old Man Qi shouted, getting up to chase Chang Qi. He was too late; Chang Qi was long gone.
On the way back, he passed by the Zhang family’s house. There was a small ruckus happening inside, with Mrs Zhang scolding her son loudly.
“You are not to play with Chang Qi in future, you hear me? His mother is a shameless woman…”
At dawn the next day, when the sky was just beginning to brighten with the first rays of the sun, Chang Qi crawled out of bed, rubbed his eyes, and picked up the cold kettle and drank a few gulps of icy water. He picked up a straw basket at the door, and headed to the chicken farm. The earlier he got to the chicken farm, the more eggs he would be able to collect.
“Xiao Qi always picks the most,” Old Mr Qiu said, smiling as he distributed the reward for their efforts: one chicken egg. They could ask for a boiled egg or a raw egg. As the child who collected the most eggs, he was rewarded with two eggs, one raw, and one boiled.
He kept the raw egg in his clothes, and peeled the boiled egg to eat, to the envy of the other children.
The Zhang family’s son and Chang Jiabao huddled together, whispering to each other, whilst the other children were all gathered around Chang Qi.
“Chang Qi, your mom said yesterday that your dad is some high noble – what kind of noble is he?” one of the children asked curiously.
“If I said it, I’d scare you all to death!” Chang Qi grinned. “But I’ll tell you something. My mom is a divine fairy who enjoys heaven’s protection. If you say anything bad about her, you’ll get sores on your mouth and tongue, and the soles of your feet will be filled with pus!”
“Really?” some of the children said dubiously.
“He’s for real,” the Qiu family’s grandson said, remembering something. He imitated his granny’s mannerisms, slapping his thigh before continuing dramatically. “This morning, I saw Aunty Zhang, and her mouth was covered in huge sores!”
Author’s note
Mini-scene: Prophecies are usually only half fulfilled
Qiqi: My mum is a fairy, whoever talks bad about her will get sores in their mouth
Neighbour: Aiyar! The Zhang family have all got huge sores on their mouths!
Qiqi: My dad is a nobleman, one day he will give me wealth and riches
Emperor: You’re absolutely right, why don’t you drop by and offer your body?
Qiqi: The one I love is a great hero, one day he will ride on clouds to come get me
Niaogong: Chiu?
Qiqi: ……
