“Father, look at me.” Gu Shengyin spoke.
Old General Fu was rather surprised. After his daughter had grown up, their relationship had become particularly poor, and she was rarely willing to initiate a conversation with him.
Gu Shengyin said slowly: “Actually, when I was very young, I admired my father very much.”
Her gaze was a bit blank, as if she had been transported back to a distant childhood: “I remember, at that time, father was still very young. Although you were always so serious, I really wanted to be close to you. Because, I thought, my father is really amazing, other people’s parents can’t even compare.”
“Although at that time, you had already begun to instruct me to train for hours in horse stance, to run in the snow wearing a single layer in the dead of winter, to weight train… I felt very wronged, but still gritted my teeth and persevered. Because when I was doing these things, I very much hoped that I could do it perfectly, and then, father, you would praise me.”
“But later, I realized that I would never be able to satisfy you. Even if my spear skills could knock down all my peers, even if I went above and beyond in all the tasks you set for me every day, I still couldn’t make you satisfied, not even a bit.”
“Because, I wasn’t the heir you wished for, because I was born a daughter!” Gu Shengyin said, her eyes blazing like fire, bright to the point of shocking others.
“After I learned the difference between men and women, I understood my fate in this life. While other girls were going out in groups to appreciate flowers and poems, were riding on boat cruises to enjoy the moon viewing, were dressing themselves beautifully for an enjoyable outing, I was always exerting all my effort. I didn’t want much, I just simply wanted a word of affirmation from you, to maybe even show the barest hint of a smile towards me. To tell me that even if I am just a daughter, I am not lacking compared to any man!”
“But no!” Gu Shengyin suddenly laughed, but her eyes were flushed red, “I know that you don’t like me. Sometimes when I’m on the battlefield, when I look at an enemy’s sword, I even think about not dodging, to let it just slash on my body. For what reason must I carry so much burden, in my life, I can’t even experience even a bit of relaxation or happiness, for what reason should my life’s purpose be the Fu Yunzhen that others see?”
“But you won, father. Those precepts you instilled in me ever since I was a child made me unable to let go, holding onto this hopeless, cowardly way of living. I can’t let down the century-old reputation of the Fu Family, and can’t let down the soldiers of the Tianyun Dynasty. I just understand that, the rest of my life, will just be thus.”
“Enough!” Old General Fu had never thought that his own daughter had such thoughts.
Please read this at jiamintranslation dot wordpress dot com.
He held her under strict standards, and never once smiled, not because she was a daughter. This daughter had always been his heart’s pride.
After she grew up, he met her less and less often, not because he didn’t like seeing her, but because every time he looked at his daughter, who looked just like her dead mother, the guilt in his heart made him unable to face her.
He never knew that this child would have hidden so many grievances in her heart, let alone that there was such a large misunderstanding between him and his daughter.
The wave of grief that surged in his heart nearly keeled him over. As he looked at his daughter standing there gazing at him fiercely with a hardened face, the walls in old General Fu’s heart collapsed.
“I was wrong.” He finally, after burying this sentence deep within his heart for so many years, spoke.
“Father, look at me.” Gu Shengyin spoke.
Old General Fu was rather surprised. After his daughter had grown up, their relationship had become particularly poor, and she was rarely willing to initiate a conversation with him.
Gu Shengyin said slowly: “Actually, when I was very young, I admired my father very much.”
Her gaze was a bit blank, as if she had been transported back to a distant childhood: “I remember, at that time, father was still very young. Although you were always so serious, I really wanted to be close to you. Because, I thought, my father is really amazing, other people’s parents can’t even compare.”
“Although at that time, you had already begun to instruct me to train for hours in horse stance, to run in the snow wearing a single layer in the dead of winter, to weight train… I felt very wronged, but still gritted my teeth and persevered. Because when I was doing these things, I very much hoped that I could do it perfectly, and then, father, you would praise me.”
“But later, I realized that I would never be able to satisfy you. Even if my spear skills could knock down all my peers, even if I went above and beyond in all the tasks you set for me every day, I still couldn’t make you satisfied, not even a bit.”
“Because, I wasn’t the heir you wished for, because I was born a daughter!” Gu Shengyin said, her eyes blazing like fire, bright to the point of shocking others.
“After I learned the difference between men and women, I understood my fate in this life. While other girls were going out in groups to appreciate flowers and poems, were riding on boat cruises to enjoy the moon viewing, were dressing themselves beautifully for an enjoyable outing, I was always exerting all my effort. I didn’t want much, I just simply wanted a word of affirmation from you, to maybe even show the barest hint of a smile towards me. To tell me that even if I am just a daughter, I am not lacking compared to any man!”
“But no!” Gu Shengyin suddenly laughed, but her eyes were flushed red, “I know that you don’t like me. Sometimes when I’m on the battlefield, when I look at an enemy’s sword, I even think about not dodging, to let it just slash on my body. For what reason must I carry so much burden, in my life, I can’t even experience even a bit of relaxation or happiness, for what reason should my life’s purpose be the Fu Yunzhen that others see?”
“But you won, father. Those precepts you instilled in me ever since I was a child made me unable to let go, holding onto this hopeless, cowardly way of living. I can’t let down the century-old reputation of the Fu Family, and can’t let down the soldiers of the Tianyun Dynasty. I just understand that, the rest of my life, will just be thus.”
“Enough!” Old General Fu had never thought that his own daughter had such thoughts.
Please read this at jiamintranslation dot wordpress dot com.
He held her under strict standards, and never once smiled, not because she was a daughter. This daughter had always been his heart’s pride.
After she grew up, he met her less and less often, not because he didn’t like seeing her, but because every time he looked at his daughter, who looked just like her dead mother, the guilt in his heart made him unable to face her.
He never knew that this child would have hidden so many grievances in her heart, let alone that there was such a large misunderstanding between him and his daughter.
The wave of grief that surged in his heart nearly keeled him over. As he looked at his daughter standing there gazing at him fiercely with a hardened face, the walls in old General Fu’s heart collapsed.
“I was wrong.” He finally, after burying this sentence deep within his heart for so many years, spoke.
