Chapter 49: Chapter 49: To Deal with Dependent Personality, This Is How You Do It
Translator: 549690339
“Child, you are my treasure. If you don’t support me and my brother, I’ll have to let my father sell the karaoke lounge and work there, and my brother would have to get a dragon tattoo and collect protection fees. Who knows, one day, he might get killed.”
Xiao Qian’s words left Jia Xiufang feeling pale and trembling with fear.
“No, he’s your biological father, your father…”
“Those involved in the gambling, prostitution, and drugs businesses, do they still have any humanity left? Mom, do you remember that kid from the Back Street family who got addicted to drugs and sold his four-year-old son? What’s the difference between my dad and him?”
This is called concept exchange: say something correct, then lead people in, change the concept, and it’s brainwashing!
“This heartless man, I’ve suffered so much with him, and he’s not only treated me poorly, but he’s also treating you and your brother terribly. What a sin!” Jia Xiufang cried out loud.
Xiao Qian saw her mother cry but didn’t rush. She let Jia Xiufang cry, knowing that during this time of emotional venting, nothing she said would be useful. She would just wait a few minutes.
As expected, after Jia Xiufang had sobbed for a while, she wiped her tears and murmured, “What should we do, what should we do…”
Xiao Qian had almost completely destroyed her trash dad’s image, and now she began to give her mother the second, more subtle suggestion.
“Mom, my dad is already this way. Our family will be ruined sooner or later. My brother and I are still so young; what do you think we should do?”
“Yeah, what should you do…” Jia Xiufang tremblingly hugged her daughter.
“Do you remember the time when we went to the Night Market in the evening, and on our way back, we saw those short-skirted women outside Night Shanghai Karaoke Lounge wearing heavy makeup, some of them directly being embraced by men? Mom, can you recall that?” Xiao Qian used the scenery to hint at her point.
As expected, Jia Xiufang remembered, “I do. I even spat at them, thinking they were wasting their lives.”
“Mom, do you think my father would force me to work at the karaoke lounge if he owed a lot of money and couldn’t repay it? I’d have to wear a short skirt and let men hold me—”
“All!” Jia Xiufang screamed. Being a conservative, virtuous woman, she could hardly bear the thought of her daughter being in that situation, and her spirit was on the verge of collapsing.
Xiao Qian purposely brought her mother to this breaking point, knowing that the more intense the collapse, the better the later effects.
“Even if this fire wasn’t caused by my father’s troubles outside, he still took the money and ran. That’s a fact, right? When he comes back, do you think he’ll have any money left after a few days? The next step will be to sell his daughter, then his son. Look at Da Long’s burly appearance; he’d become a small gangster or thug—”
“Absolutely not!” Jia Xiufang’s determination reignited like a flame. “As long as I’m here for a single day, you two siblings will never have to live such lives!”
That was precisely what Xiao Qian was after! After all this time, she had finally succeeded in persuading her mother!
Placing her hand on Jia Xiufang’s shoulder, with even stronger words, Xiao Qian continued to suggest to her mother.
“Mom, my dad is finished, but you’re still here! You have two children, and both my brother and I need you! Can you bear to see my brother and me be ruined by my father?”
“Not unless I’m dead!”
Now Jia Xiufang was completely brainwashed by Xiao Qian.
“We need you!”
This sentence was crucial; it meant, “We need you.”
Jia Xiufang had a dependent personality, and though she showed signs of being indecisive and blindly obedient to others, ironically, people with dependent personalities also have an extreme lack of feeling needed by others.
In pursuit of this “feeling of being needed”, they’re even willing to lower themselves and make compromises to please others.
Just like Jia Xiufang’s mother, who had always done hard and dirty work for the family, sacrificing herself for others.
While she was overly reliant on her useless father, she also constantly lowered her status within the family, carefully pleasing her husband in pursuit of that “feeling of being needed”.
Xiao Qian constantly weakened trash dad’s position in her mother’s heart, and hinted to her mother that Jia Xiufang could find a sense of being needed elsewhere, besides her marriage—such as her children’s “need” for her. This would help Jia Xiufang to gradually become independent.
Especially since Xiao Qian was an excellent child, who had been admitted to a top university, her strong “need” for her mother gave Jia Xiufang renewed energy.
“As long as I’m here for a single day, no one can drag my daughter to that kind of place and make her do indecent things!”
A woman’s greatest focus, besides her love for her husband, is her love for her children. In order to protect her children, she can give everything. Now Xiao Qian was trying to shift her mother’s love from her husband to her brother and herself.
Clearly, the results were successful.
“But Mom, just being passionate about it won’t help. You know my dad will keep gambling and chasing after women. Even if you work yourself to death, the money you make won’t be enough. If he sells me, what should I do?”
“I…” Jia Xiufang couldn’t answer.
All she knew was that she wanted to protect her two children, but she hadn’t figured out how to do that yet.
“Mom, you should get a divorce. Once you divorce and gain custody of my brother and me, I’ll make sure the house is in your name. You can raise us with the house, and you won’t have to worry about repaying my trash dad’s debts.” This was the ultimate goal—divorce!
“But, divorce, I, I…”
“What are you afraid of? Think about it. After you divorce him, he won’t be able to ask you for money anymore. You can run your dry-cleaning shop and raise me and my brother; we won’t have to be sold.”
…Jia Xiufang took it to heart.
All of the previous suggestions that Xiao Qian had given her mother had a significant impact. Combined with today’s conversation, everything was tailored to Jia Xiufang’s personality. The tone, content, and facial expressions all struck her heart.
Language is an art, and a psychologist’s language is the key to unlocking a patient’s heart. No one understood better than Xiao Qian how to find the critical issues based on one’s personality.
Jia Xiufang’s weakness was her dependent personality and deeply ingrained traditional values. Now Xiao Qian was using her mother’s unconditional love for her children within those traditional values to attack Jia Xiufang’s remaining dependence on her husband. She was also making her mother deeply experience the feeling of “being needed” in the process of protecting her children.
This satisfied Jia Xiufang’s dependent personality.
In order to achieve her goal, Xiao Qian didn’t hesitate to weaken her own strength, portraying herself as a powerless girl who needed her mother’s protection. Obviously, the effect was excellent, and Jia Xiufang was now considering a divorce.
Xiao Qian continued to add fuel to the fire.
“Mom, if you don’t divorce him, I will definitely be sold. Think about it, he was even willing to have me marry someone with a contagious disease for the dowry.. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for money! Next time he owes money, he’ll definitely sell me! Mom, if you were a few years younger, he’d sell you too!”
Chapter 49: Chapter 49: To Deal with Dependent Personality, This Is How You Do It
Translator: 549690339
“Child, you are my treasure. If you don’t support me and my brother, I’ll have to let my father sell the karaoke lounge and work there, and my brother would have to get a dragon tattoo and collect protection fees. Who knows, one day, he might get killed.”
Xiao Qian’s words left Jia Xiufang feeling pale and trembling with fear.
“No, he’s your biological father, your father…”
“Those involved in the gambling, prostitution, and drugs businesses, do they still have any humanity left? Mom, do you remember that kid from the Back Street family who got addicted to drugs and sold his four-year-old son? What’s the difference between my dad and him?”
This is called concept exchange: say something correct, then lead people in, change the concept, and it’s brainwashing!
“This heartless man, I’ve suffered so much with him, and he’s not only treated me poorly, but he’s also treating you and your brother terribly. What a sin!” Jia Xiufang cried out loud.
Xiao Qian saw her mother cry but didn’t rush. She let Jia Xiufang cry, knowing that during this time of emotional venting, nothing she said would be useful. She would just wait a few minutes.
As expected, after Jia Xiufang had sobbed for a while, she wiped her tears and murmured, “What should we do, what should we do…”
Xiao Qian had almost completely destroyed her trash dad’s image, and now she began to give her mother the second, more subtle suggestion.
“Mom, my dad is already this way. Our family will be ruined sooner or later. My brother and I are still so young; what do you think we should do?”
“Yeah, what should you do…” Jia Xiufang tremblingly hugged her daughter.
“Do you remember the time when we went to the Night Market in the evening, and on our way back, we saw those short-skirted women outside Night Shanghai Karaoke Lounge wearing heavy makeup, some of them directly being embraced by men? Mom, can you recall that?” Xiao Qian used the scenery to hint at her point.
As expected, Jia Xiufang remembered, “I do. I even spat at them, thinking they were wasting their lives.”
“Mom, do you think my father would force me to work at the karaoke lounge if he owed a lot of money and couldn’t repay it? I’d have to wear a short skirt and let men hold me—”
“All!” Jia Xiufang screamed. Being a conservative, virtuous woman, she could hardly bear the thought of her daughter being in that situation, and her spirit was on the verge of collapsing.
Xiao Qian purposely brought her mother to this breaking point, knowing that the more intense the collapse, the better the later effects.
“Even if this fire wasn’t caused by my father’s troubles outside, he still took the money and ran. That’s a fact, right? When he comes back, do you think he’ll have any money left after a few days? The next step will be to sell his daughter, then his son. Look at Da Long’s burly appearance; he’d become a small gangster or thug—”
“Absolutely not!” Jia Xiufang’s determination reignited like a flame. “As long as I’m here for a single day, you two siblings will never have to live such lives!”
That was precisely what Xiao Qian was after! After all this time, she had finally succeeded in persuading her mother!
Placing her hand on Jia Xiufang’s shoulder, with even stronger words, Xiao Qian continued to suggest to her mother.
“Mom, my dad is finished, but you’re still here! You have two children, and both my brother and I need you! Can you bear to see my brother and me be ruined by my father?”
“Not unless I’m dead!”
Now Jia Xiufang was completely brainwashed by Xiao Qian.
“We need you!”
This sentence was crucial; it meant, “We need you.”
Jia Xiufang had a dependent personality, and though she showed signs of being indecisive and blindly obedient to others, ironically, people with dependent personalities also have an extreme lack of feeling needed by others.
In pursuit of this “feeling of being needed”, they’re even willing to lower themselves and make compromises to please others.
Just like Jia Xiufang’s mother, who had always done hard and dirty work for the family, sacrificing herself for others.
While she was overly reliant on her useless father, she also constantly lowered her status within the family, carefully pleasing her husband in pursuit of that “feeling of being needed”.
Xiao Qian constantly weakened trash dad’s position in her mother’s heart, and hinted to her mother that Jia Xiufang could find a sense of being needed elsewhere, besides her marriage—such as her children’s “need” for her. This would help Jia Xiufang to gradually become independent.
Especially since Xiao Qian was an excellent child, who had been admitted to a top university, her strong “need” for her mother gave Jia Xiufang renewed energy.
“As long as I’m here for a single day, no one can drag my daughter to that kind of place and make her do indecent things!”
A woman’s greatest focus, besides her love for her husband, is her love for her children. In order to protect her children, she can give everything. Now Xiao Qian was trying to shift her mother’s love from her husband to her brother and herself.
Clearly, the results were successful.
“But Mom, just being passionate about it won’t help. You know my dad will keep gambling and chasing after women. Even if you work yourself to death, the money you make won’t be enough. If he sells me, what should I do?”
“I…” Jia Xiufang couldn’t answer.
All she knew was that she wanted to protect her two children, but she hadn’t figured out how to do that yet.
“Mom, you should get a divorce. Once you divorce and gain custody of my brother and me, I’ll make sure the house is in your name. You can raise us with the house, and you won’t have to worry about repaying my trash dad’s debts.” This was the ultimate goal—divorce!
“But, divorce, I, I…”
“What are you afraid of? Think about it. After you divorce him, he won’t be able to ask you for money anymore. You can run your dry-cleaning shop and raise me and my brother; we won’t have to be sold.”
…Jia Xiufang took it to heart.
All of the previous suggestions that Xiao Qian had given her mother had a significant impact. Combined with today’s conversation, everything was tailored to Jia Xiufang’s personality. The tone, content, and facial expressions all struck her heart.
Language is an art, and a psychologist’s language is the key to unlocking a patient’s heart. No one understood better than Xiao Qian how to find the critical issues based on one’s personality.
Jia Xiufang’s weakness was her dependent personality and deeply ingrained traditional values. Now Xiao Qian was using her mother’s unconditional love for her children within those traditional values to attack Jia Xiufang’s remaining dependence on her husband. She was also making her mother deeply experience the feeling of “being needed” in the process of protecting her children.
This satisfied Jia Xiufang’s dependent personality.
In order to achieve her goal, Xiao Qian didn’t hesitate to weaken her own strength, portraying herself as a powerless girl who needed her mother’s protection. Obviously, the effect was excellent, and Jia Xiufang was now considering a divorce.
Xiao Qian continued to add fuel to the fire.
“Mom, if you don’t divorce him, I will definitely be sold. Think about it, he was even willing to have me marry someone with a contagious disease for the dowry.. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for money! Next time he owes money, he’ll definitely sell me! Mom, if you were a few years younger, he’d sell you too!”
