Chapter 84: Confession
Xi'an in the summer holidays reached the peak of its busy season. The Great Tang Dynasty Never Sleeps City truly lived up to its name with all-night revelry. The Daci'en Temple was swarming with crowds. Jiang Hong first indulged in five or six feasts, then had a long, satisfying sleep.
Summer was filled with couples holding hands, but the weather in August was unbearably hot.
"What's next?" Lu Xiu seemed very interested in Jiang Hong's final creation.
"Next is..." Jiang Hong checked his phone, saying, "to find the last convergence point of the earth's energy meridians..."
"Daci'en Temple, Giant Wild Goose Pagoda," Lu Xiu knew the places well.
"Right," Jiang Hong said. "Using the power of the earth's spiritual energy to complete my final step... Let me see... Principal Cao gave me an entrance... Here it is, we can go in the evening. It's managed by the Monster Association, but I have a letter of introduction."
"It doesn’t matter if you don’t have one," Lu Xiu said. "Are you going into the underground palace?"
"Yes, I guess?" Jiang Hong had never been there before. "That's where the purest terrestrial energy is. I'll use it to condense the collected spiritual energy and then infuse it into..."
Jiang Hong almost slipped up and quickly shut his mouth, looking at Lu Xiu.
"Got it," Lu Xiu said. "I’ll take you to the Monster Association after dinner."
Across from the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda was a bustling commercial street. Jiang Hong looked around and said, "Wow, the Xi'an Monster Association is here? It seems so down-to-earth."
"It’s okay," Lu Xiu replied, leading Jiang Hong into a KTV and saying to the front desk, "Room 106."
Jiang Hong peeked around as they entered the room, his mind full of question marks. Lu Xiu glanced at the song selection screen, which only had one song. He pressed the button and picked up the microphone.
Jiang Hong: "?????"
Unexpectedly, the accompaniment started from the chorus, and Lu Xiu began to sing along.
"Ah si de ge lo di de lo di de lo di..." Lu Xiu sang expressionlessly. Jiang Hong took another microphone, pointing at himself, wondering if he was supposed to join in.
Lu Xiu nodded, and Jiang Hong followed with, "De lo di de lo di de lo di..." while feeling an urge to throw the microphone, thinking: What is this madness! Why start with the chorus of 'Tantui'?!
Suddenly, the entire KTV room went "whoosh" as if it disassembled like Lego toys!
The world reformed under a bizarre power; the sofas, bar, and coffee table were now on a floating platform. The display screen flew away, revealing a night scene reminiscent of the glorious Tang Dynasty, with its first lights aglow – a city that never sleeps!
Carved beams and painted rafters, countless bright lanterns floated in the air, and wooden buildings with colorful lanterns lined the streets. Sky lanterns floated above, with words written on them: "Congratulations on the 6th International Monster Expo."
Jiang Hong: "......"
Even prepared, Jiang Hong was still slightly shocked by the sight. The Monster Association, richer than the Exorcism Committee and known for its love of retro Chinese style, but an "International Monster Expo" was indeed startling. Thankfully, there were no National Monster Sports Meet or Monster Olympics.
However, whether the "expo" showcased the monsters themselves or something else remained unknown.
"Not many monsters here know me," Lu Xiu said. "Want to look around? I can accompany you."
Jiang Hong replied, "Should we get to the main business first? It's really bustling here, feels like walking through a Lantern Festival... Old Sun, don't wander off!"
Everywhere was bustling with vendors, mostly selling specialties from around the world. In the center of the eight-market street was the brightly lit Giant Wild Goose Pagoda. Jiang Hong was tempted to roam around, but prioritized their main task.
Following Lu Xiu to the base of the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda, which was unattended, Jiang Hong asked, "Is this the monster world?"
"Strictly speaking, it's not a 'world' because the space is limited," Lu Xiu explained. "It's more of a monster 'realm'."
"Is it the same place as the human world's Giant Wild Goose Pagoda?" Jiang Hong inquired further.
"Sort of," Lu Xiu answered, pressing on the door. The door at the base of the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda vanished, "But the entrance to the underground palace is only on the Monster Association's side to prevent accidental human entry."
Inside was an escalator, and Jiang Hong turned back, calling, "Old Sun!"
So Old Sun joined them on the escalator, which was well-lit on both sides, not dark or frightening at all.
Inside was another door. Lu Xiu pressed his hand against it, opening it to reveal a narrow staircase. Jiang Hong carefully descended with Old Sun in his arms. At the end of the stairs was a platform leading to a climbing ladder meant for one person.
"Cling onto my back," Lu Xiu instructed. "I'll take you down."
Jiang Hong did as told, thinking about the hassle of returning the same way after visiting the underground palace.
Lu Xiu grasped the sides of the iron ladder, descending smoothly like a commando. It took several seconds, and as Jiang Hong looked down, he saw a glimmer of blue light.
The blue light, growing steadily, was characteristic of the earth's energy, bright yet not blinding.
Finally, they landed in a vast space, and Jiang Hong, momentarily speechless, surveyed his surroundings—
—This was an immense underground world, aptly named the underground palace; only "palace" could describe this subterranean area!
The hemispherical dome was adorned with golden lotus patterns from a thousand years ago, surrounded by cloud patterns and numerous flying apsaras, with thousands of Buddha images around them.
The floor was laid with tiles patterned with Buddhist swastikas, emitting a faint blue light from the cracks, the same light seen on the long ladder, emanating from this place.
The spacious underground palace, spanning thousands of square meters, had a shallow pool-like area in the center. In front of the pool stood an ancient, partially damaged gilded wooden Buddha statue. The Buddha sat in a lotus position, with his right hand forming the Mahavairocana Mudra and his left hand resting flat below. From a distance, it resembled the image of the Buddha.
But on its left hand, there seemed to be something missing, perhaps taken by someone, leaving an irregular circular dust imprint.
"This is the earth's energy well," Lu Xiu stated.
"Exactly! This is the place!" Jiang Hong exclaimed. "Can you help me stabilize the energy of the earth's furnace? Just in case I can't control it."
Lu Xiu replied, "Of course. What magical artifact are you planning to forge?"
Meanwhile, Old Sun slowly approached the pool, gazing up at the Buddha statue.
"Jiang Hong..." Suddenly, Old Sun turned its camera toward Jiang Hong.
Jiang Hong signaled Old Sun to wait, as he was in a moment of concentration.
"Can I start now?" Jiang Hong asked. "Or should I wait for the right moment?"
"Anytime is fine," Lu Xiu replied. "Come on, let me see the magical artifact you've prepared for so long."
Jiang Hong took a deep breath, ready to summon the sword he crafted for Lu Xiu from the space created by the dragon blood mark. Yet, at the last moment, he became apprehensive.
"Maybe… could you turn around?"
"Is that necessary?" Lu Xiu was nearly out of patience with Jiang Hong but prepared to turn around, respecting his wish.
"Never mind, never mind…" Jiang Hong felt a bit embarrassed, took Lu Xiu's hand, and whispered, "Actually… it's made for you. It's just a bit rough, not… not very well made, here, what do you think?"
Jiang Hong then produced the western sword, and Lu Xiu was suddenly taken aback.
The sword shimmered with the flowing light of the surrounding earth's energy. Though not yet infused with spirit, it looked beautiful amidst the vast sea of spiritual energy. Blue light slowly flowed along the blade, revealing the result of thousands of hammer strikes and firings, slightly disordered but carrying the creator's clumsy yet earnest effort.
"I haven't infused it with spirit yet," Jiang Hong's heart raced with nervousness, afraid to see Lu Xiu's reaction. "Shall I infuse it now? Yeah, let's do that."
Lu Xiu: "…………"
Just as Jiang Hong turned, Lu Xiu suddenly gripped his hand tightly.
"Ah? What's... what's wrong?" Jiang Hong turned to see Lu Xiu, whose bright, clear eyes seemed to be sparkling.
But Lu Xiu quickly let go of Jiang Hong's hand, saying, "It's nothing."
"Do you want to take a look first?" Jiang Hong asked again.
"No," Lu Xiu answered without hesitation. "I'll wait for you to complete the final step."
Jiang Hong self-deprecatingly said, "It's a bit clumsy…"
"No!" Lu Xiu immediately replied. "I really like it, truly, I really do!"
"Ah! Really?" Jiang Hong instantly smiled, gaining confidence. "Then… let's proceed."
He placed the western sword into the pool. It floated there, the water remaining calm. Jiang Hong considered whether to push it down but decided to first add the Pure Light Lustrous Glass.
He then positioned the Pure Light Lustrous Glass above the sword. Both the sword and the glass floated as if under magnetic suspension, slowly rotating. After adding the glass, the earth's energy began to resonate with the spiritual force, turning the blue light into a flowing stream that slowly rose, forming a vortex.
The earth's energy, though called a "furnace," was not actually fire and had nothing to do with the fire element. It was said that "heaven and earth are the furnace," possessing the power to smelt everything.
Hoping there would be no complications in this final step, Jiang Hong silently prayed to the Buddha statue, beginning the sword forging process.
"Okay, added. Now to release the spiritual energy and the sword materials…"
The Pure Light Lustrous Glass inverted, releasing six major rays of light, instantly filling the entire underground palace with lightning, blazing fire, starlight, sunlight, moonlight, and will-o'-the-wisps!
"Oh my God!" Jiang Hong never expected such a scene, like the apocalypse had arrived! The entire palace was engulfed in a storm, with bricks and stones crumbling and crashing down!
Lightning crisscrossed, various bright lights collided and exploded uncontrollably, turning the palace into a vast platform surrounded by deep darkness, as if in outer space!
"Don't be afraid!" Lu Xiu shouted. "It's going to be okay! Stabilize the furnace!"
Jiang Hong screamed, "The spiritual energy I collected seems too strong!"
"Can I absorb it?" Old Sun yelled amidst the chaos.
"No!" Jiang Hong shouted back. "I collected it with great effort! Don't you dare absorb it while I'm struggling! Get to the side!"
Lu Xiu, transformed into a dragon, circled around Jiang Hong, blocking the spiritual hurricane, yelling, "Control it! You can do it! Use the power of the Book of Everything!"
Right, the Book of Everything! Jiang Hong suddenly remembered, activating the Book of Everything—
With the Book in hand, the world transformed again; all the light and turbulent spiritual energy turned into particle effects.
The Buddha statue in front of the earth's energy furnace emitted a brilliant golden light, with a thin line emerging from its top, piercing through the central lotus pattern of the dome, shooting out of the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda, and connecting to the heaven's energy.
Jiang Hong immediately directed the Book of Everything towards the electric light, selecting and dragging it towards the rapidly spinning western sword.
With a loud bang, the electric light was infused into the western sword!
Amidst the surge of spiritual energy, the Book of Everything became like a magic wand or a conductor's baton in a grand symphony, wielded by Jiang Hong. It chased down the escaping light rays, drawing each towards the sword with resounding 'booms', all entering the blade.
A brief moment of silence, as if time itself had frozen, the flying black dragon turned around, its body covered in glowing runes, illuminating the eternal darkness.
It was like the scene before the universe's collapse and rebirth...
The next moment, Jiang Hong raised the conductor's baton, now transformed from the Book of Everything, drawing in all the spiritual energy. The energy of the Big Dipper formation from the earth surged, gathering into a vortex, simultaneously pulling the power of the heaven and earth's energy.
"Go!" Jiang Hong directed the spiritual force with the Book of Everything, gesturing elegantly towards the western sword.
The earth's energy burst forth in a blinding light, sweeping up the spiritual energy and transforming into a natural furnace that smelted everything, enveloping the western sword, then suddenly dimmed and dissipated.
"Did it work?" Jiang Hong gasped for breath, looking around in disbelief.
Lu Xiu: "It worked."
As the light faded, only the Buddha statue remained standing, unshaken by the storm of spiritual energy. In its hand now appeared the western sword, wrapped in dazzling golden light.
"Oh no," Jiang Hong said, "In forging this sword, did I... Oh?"
When the spiritual hurricane had risen, the underground palace had disintegrated, turning into a vast platform in the cosmic space. But now, as if he had been seeing things, they were back in the palace, with the surroundings exactly as before, as if nothing had happened, like a dream.
"Take it down," Jiang Hong urged Lu Xiu.
Lu Xiu stared at the sword, then at the Buddha statue, and then turned to Jiang Hong, seemingly hesitant to approach.
"Go on," Jiang Hong said with a smile.
Lu Xiu stepped forward and caught the sword with both hands. The western sword hummed as it flew slowly towards him, landing in his grasp. Its glow receded and then disappeared.
"It worked!" Jiang Hong exclaimed. "Does it recognize you as its master?"
Unlike magical artifacts, weapons do not require blood to acknowledge their master, Jiang Hong learned in Professor Cao Bin's class. Weapons have only one way of acknowledging a master, that is, "submission." In other words, there exists a special destiny between them.
"Yes," Lu Xiu said. "Since it was forged for me, I am naturally its master."
Holding the sword, Lu Xiu examined it closely. "But it has not been officially sharpened yet. I will carefully choose its first blood."
"Uh," Jiang Hong also realized that, after all, weapons are ominous, even if they are unparalleled divine arms, created for slaughter, which is somewhat frightening.
Jiang Hong's features reflected on the blade, and Lu Xiu then looked up at him.
"You can name it," Jiang Hong said happily. "But... whenever you like. Should we be going out now?"
Lu Xiu snapped back to reality, responding, "Right, let's talk outside."
With a casual sheathing gesture, Lu Xiu made the western sword disappear.
Indeed, he knew how. His regular fencing practice lent him a unique aura.
"I'll take you up," Lu Xiu said to Jiang Hong.
"Old Sun, let's go!" Jiang Hong put Old Sun in his bag, sighing with relief. Finally, the long summer journey was over, completing a challenging task, nearly half a semester spent forging until three in the morning every day…
Jiang Hong clung to Lu Xiu's back, one arm around his neck and the other around his ribs, as Lu Xiu carried him, slowly climbing up the celestial ladder.
"Next time you encounter your darker self," Jiang Hong said, "you'll have one more weapon. You'll definitely defeat him."
"Hmm."
Jiang Hong's heart thumped rapidly. After everything settled down, he leaned against Lu Xiu's back, involuntarily turning his head to rest against Lu Xiu's shoulder, whispering into his ear.
"You guessed it already, didn't you?" Jiang Hong added.
"Hmm."
Lu Xiu kept his answers short and simple in the darkness.
Jiang Hong continued, "You had figured it out, right?"
Finally, Lu Xiu responded more earnestly, "I had a bit of a guess, but I didn't expect it to be a sword."
They remained silent in the darkness. Jiang Hong felt something was off with Lu Xiu. Was it because he was moved? Or should he not flatter himself? Perhaps Lu Xiu liked it, but he probably wouldn't think too much about it...
"Lu Xiu."
The light from the earth's energy gradually faded, leaving them surrounded by endless darkness. The celestial ladder seemed to extend infinitely, with no end or bottom in sight, as if they were back in that vast cosmic space.
"Hmm?" Lu Xiu became less talkative after receiving the sword, almost like the first day Jiang Hong met him.
Jiang Hong's heartbeats intensified. He had thought before that if there were things Lu Xiu found hard to say, perhaps he could say them instead.
"Lu Xiu," Jiang Hong whispered again near his ear.
"Hmm." Lu Xiu slightly shifted to avoid Jiang Hong's lips, trying not to let his ear touch them.
Jiang Hong laughed, "What's the matter?"
"It tickles a bit," Lu Xiu said softly in the darkness.
"Lu Xiu," Jiang Hong spoke again.
He once thought he couldn't do many things: becoming an exorcist, facing seemingly invincible foes, forging a sword like this... but he did them all.
"Hmm, what do you want to say?" Lu Xiu turned his head slightly again, carefully avoiding, as if afraid of touching Jiang Hong's lips.
"I..." Jiang Hong finally let go of all his reservations and whispered, "Lu Xiu, I... I think I like you... No, not just a bit, I mean... Yes, I like you."
Lu Xiu stopped moving, holding onto the ladder, then looked up after a moment.
"Hmm," Lu Xiu responded.
Jiang Hong suddenly found himself at a loss for what to say next.
"Do you like me?" Jiang Hong, still embracing him from behind, asked softly.
Lu Xiu didn't answer for a long time, as if centuries had passed.
"What kind of liking are you talking about?" Lu Xiu's voice trembled slightly, but then he continued climbing.
"Oh." The answer Jiang Hong wanted came so quickly that he couldn't fully comprehend it at the moment, so he could only laugh self-deprecatingly.
"Are we there yet?" Jiang Hong asked again.
"Almost there," Lu Xiu replied.
Finally leaving the celestial ladder, Lu Xiu led Jiang Hong back to the platform and started up the stairs. When Jiang Hong stumbled, Lu Xiu reached out to steady him, holding his hand, but soon let go.
"What kind of liking?" Lu Xiu repeated his question.
"Nothing," Jiang Hong replied with an awkward smile.
Lu Xiu nodded and walked ahead as if he dared not look into Jiang Hong's eyes. Jiang Hong watched his back, suddenly feeling a hollow emptiness inside.
Is it really like this? Jiang Hong always felt it shouldn't be this way… Did I misunderstand something?
But there had been signs all along, like the day Lu Xiu asked, "When will you get a girlfriend?" It had just been selectively ignored by him. But still… still…
"It's that kind of liking," Jiang Hong said as they approached the exit of the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda's underground palace. He stopped and said to Lu Xiu, "The kind between lovers. I love you, Lu Xiu."
Having breached this topic, Jiang Hong didn't hold back anymore. He didn’t consider himself an obsessive person, but at that moment, he was desperate for some confirmation, like a drowning person grasping for a hand.
"Hmm..." Lu Xiu looked towards the door and said, "I know."
He seemed unwilling to answer Jiang Hong's question.
"What about you?" Jiang Hong asked.
"Aren't we going out?" Lu Xiu finally looked into Jiang Hong's eyes. "Let's talk outside."
Jiang Hong didn't move, as if self-protecting. Perhaps once they reached a place with light and people, he wouldn't be able to say these words again. Only when they were alone could he gather the courage to speak his mind all at once.
"Then let's go," Jiang Hong said, understanding from Lu Xiu's evasion the likely outcome of his confession, but still hoping for one last confirmation.
Lu Xiu then opened the door, letting in the light from outside. The City That Never Sleeps had quieted down, leaving only lanterns shining in the night sky and the shops on the market street closing up.
"What do you feel for me?" Jiang Hong tried to salvage his failed attempt, feigning ease and smiling as best as he could. "To be honest, I always thought..."
Lu Xiu sat down on the steps outside the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda.
Lu Xiu quietly looked at the ground, his demeanor resembling Keda sitting in the same spot in the human world not long ago.
"Are you okay?" Jiang Hong was again drawn to the shadows of the two of them.
"I'm thinking," Lu Xiu replied calmly.
Jiang Hong didn't interrupt him, instead sitting beside him, maintaining a small distance. Jiang Hong stared blankly at the lanterns in the sky.
After a while, Lu Xiu began to speak.
"I also... I also..." Lu Xiu seemed to struggle to find the right words, looking towards Jiang Hong, but in the end, he appeared to change his mind.
"I do like you," Lu Xiu said with difficulty, "but not in the way you hope. Jiang Hong, one day you'll have your own family, your own lover…"
"I know," Jiang Hong said with a laugh. "It's okay, don’t worry about it. Why do you seem more upset than me…"
"No, you don't understand," Lu Xiu said earnestly. "You don’t know anything."
Jiang Hong: "I don't even know why I suddenly liked a guy. Maybe it's just specific to you."
"This has nothing to do with gender," Lu Xiu said. "You'll have your own lover, whether male or female. You'll live a happy life together. To you, I am just... just..."
Jiang Hong suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He looked at Lu Xiu with tears rolling in his eyes. He knew he shouldn't cry now, but he couldn't help it, his nose tingling uncontrollably.
Finally, Lu Xiu said: "Just... Anyway, I don’t feel that way about you. Apart from this, I'd do anything for you, anything at all... I promise you, that’s how I've always felt about you. I can be your best friend, yes, your best friend."
Jiang Hong wiped his tears and nodded: "Okay."
"I'm sorry," Lu Xiu also pinched his nose, looking into the distance and muttering, "Really sorry, sorry, Jiang Hong... I'm sorry to you... I didn't want it to be like this initially..."
"Why are you the one apologizing?" Jiang Hong suddenly felt a mix of laughter and tears, stood up and said, "It's okay. I'm just being greedy, wanting more."
Jiang Hong walked a few steps away, back facing Lu Xiu. He didn't want Lu Xiu to see him crying; it was too embarrassing.
"Jiang Hong!" Lu Xiu suddenly stood up, calling out loudly.
Jiang Hong instinctively turned his head, and Lu Xiu just stared at him, speechless.
For a second, then two, Lu Xiu seemed frozen, his lips trembling. He breathed heavily as if trying to control something.
But in the end, he said nothing, gradually calming down.
"I... I'll be going then," Jiang Hong said.
"Where are you going?" Lu Xiu asked, sounding lost.
"I think... I need to walk alone," Jiang Hong replied. "I need some time to myself. This is so embarrassing."
"No, no," Lu Xiu hurried after him, as if wanting to grab Jiang Hong's hand but stopping himself.
"I want to be alone for a while," Jiang Hong said with a pleading tone.
Lu Xiu fell silent, watching Jiang Hong walk away aimlessly, not paying attention to where he was going. Lu Xiu quickly followed him again.
"Can you stop following me for now?" Jiang Hong, overwhelmed with sadness, wanted to find a place to cry, but weeping openly was too embarrassing. He didn't want Lu Xiu to see him cry.
"I don't understand," Lu Xiu's voice was also filled with sorrow. "Because I rejected you, you want to leave?"
"It's not that..." Jiang Hong wiped his tears and turned to Lu Xiu. "I don't know, I'm just confused right now. I need some time alone."
Lu Xiu quickly came over, and Jiang Hong noticed his eyes were red too. This time, when Lu Xiu tried to hold his hand, Jiang Hong dodged, but Lu Xiu persisted and grasped his hand firmly.
"Let me take you out," Lu Xiu said. "You don't know the way here."
"Okay," Jiang Hong agreed.
Lu Xiu led Jiang Hong through another exit and they returned to the human world, beneath the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda.
"Here we are," Lu Xiu said. "Back now."
Jiang Hong stepped away from Lu Xiu and looked around. His overwhelming sadness had passed; he had felt desperately hopeless moments before.
"I feel better now," Jiang Hong stated. "But I still want to walk alone."
Lu Xiu was silent for a moment, then said, "I'll go back to the school."
Jiang Hong nodded, suddenly feeling as if all his strength had left him. Lu Xiu said, "If you need anything, just call me."
Jiang Hong didn't speak further, walking a bit further away, pausing behind the statue of Xuanzang. He turned back to look, and Lu Xiu was still there.
He lowered his head, walking slowly, his mind a blank. He sighed deeply, as if trying to exhale all his sorrow.
When he looked back again, Lu Xiu was no longer there.
So, Jiang Hong found a spot and sat down slowly, looking up at the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda.
"Jiang Hong, let me out," came Old Sun's voice from the backpack.
Jiang Hong took Old Sun out and placed him on the ground, saying tiredly, "Go and play on your own."
Old Sun said, "I remembered something."
Jiang Hong: "Hmm?"
Old Sun: "I was unearthed in the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda, right in the underground palace."
Jiang Hong: "Oh."
Old Sun turned on the light of his camera and walked away.
Jiang Hong zoned out for a while. He tried to recall every moment he had spent with Lu Xiu, but what was the point of it all?
"So he doesn't like me," Jiang Hong wished he could dig a hole and bury himself in it. "This is so embarrassing. Why did I even confess to him? I must have been out of my mind!"
Jiang Hong wished he could travel back in time and give himself from twenty minutes ago a good scolding.
"It's for the best, we won't fall in love now. No more worries about this and that... and my parents won't be disappointed in me for being gay," Jiang Hong consoled himself.
"Lu Xiu said he'd do anything for me, except be my lover. That's also a form of love, I guess..." Jiang Hong tried to comfort himself again.
But no matter how much he consoled himself, Jiang Hong still felt miserable, and that misery finally burst out. He first wiped his tears with the back of his hand, then started sobbing softly.
"I really like Lu Xiu."
So, being rejected made him this sad. His failed confession once again made Jiang Hong realize his true feelings.
Footsteps approached while Jiang Hong was crying.
He immediately stopped crying and asked, "Why did you come back?"
The streetlight cast a shadow next to Jiang Hong. He turned his head and saw that it wasn't Lu Xiu returning, but another person, Xi Sihui.
Sihui: "......"
Jiang Hong was startled and quickly wiped his face, saying, "Why is it you?"
"I came to Xi'an for a flower and bird exhibition," Sihui said, thinking hard. "What about you? Why are you here alone?"
Jiang Hong felt even more embarrassed, but for some reason, seeing Sihui made him feel a little better.
"It's nothing," Jiang Hong said.
"Why were you crying?" Sihui looked down at him, observing from a higher stance.
"I... I was just wandering around," Jiang Hong replied.
Sihui then asked, "Aren't you going home for the summer break?"
Jiang Hong: "I was planning to go back soon."
Sihui hummed in response, saying, "You should go back home, being with your parents is always good."
Jiang Hong: "Okay... okay. Old Sun!"
He wasn't sure if this was Sihui's characteristic concern or just a chance encounter, but it lessened his sorrow somewhat. Checking the time, it was already past four in the morning.
Is it that late already? Jiang Hong didn't feel tired at all, but as soon as he saw the time, his whole body felt drained.
"You..." Jiang Hong noticed Sihui still following him.
Sihui: "?"
"Nothing," Jiang Hong thought it over and decided to return to his hotel. What else could he do? Go back to the school to find Lu Xiu? He felt they both needed some time alone.
On the empty streets, only the streetlights were on. All of Xi'an was asleep. In half an hour, cleaners would come out to sweep the streets, then the sun would still rise, breakfast stalls would open, bustling with people; and then, as the day advanced, the scorching sun would shine, with countless tourists coming and going; then, as the day turned to evening, the lights of the Great Tang Dynasty Never Sleeps City would light up again... The cycle repeats endlessly.
However, only at this moment and in this place, it was lonely and cold. In the deepest part of this summer night, even the wind seemed to have disappeared.
Jiang Hong kept looking back at Sihui.
Sihui spoke again, "We are friends, aren't we?"
Jiang Hong: "Yes, yes we are. What's up?"
Sihui made a gesture that seemed meaningless, and Jiang Hong, feeling dejected, continued to walk with his head down.
"So, if you're upset about something," Sihui said, "you can talk about it. Why were you crying?"
"Oh, I see." Jiang Hong forced a smile, realizing that Sihui was expressing concern, and nodded in agreement.
They walked past several streets, and breakfast shops had already opened.
"Let me treat you to breakfast," Jiang Hong offered.
Sihui hummed in agreement, and Jiang Hong found a breakfast shop, buying youtiao (deep-fried dough sticks) and soy milk. He wasn't used to the local spicy soup and stuck to his childhood eating habits, breaking the youtiao into pieces and soaking them in a large bowl of sweet soy milk.
"Because my confession was rejected," Jiang Hong finally said. "Actually, it's not really about success or failure, just... I was deluding myself."
Sihui responded, "Hmm."
So, Jiang Hong shared his unexplained feelings for Lu Xiu, his understanding of their relationship, and his frustrations, selectively telling Sihui some details. Strangely, after talking about it, Jiang Hong felt much better.
Sihui listened quietly throughout.
"Have you ever liked someone?" Jiang Hong asked. "Although I'm not sure if what I experienced can be called love."
Sihui answered, "Not in this reincarnation. Maybe in the past, but I don't remember clearly."
Jiang Hong knew that phoenixes live very long, undergoing reincarnation every thousand years. It was somewhat like rebirth, but whether they retained memories, or how much they remembered, he was not sure.
"Having lived for so long," Jiang Hong said with a smile, "you must have seen all sorts of things in the human world and nothing surprises you anymore." Perhaps his troubles were nothing more than an ancient love story to Sihui.
Sihui didn't speak and didn't eat breakfast, just quietly watched Jiang Hong.
"Do you live longer than the Ghost King?" Jiang Hong asked.
"He's just a child in front of me," Sihui replied.
"Oh, right." Jiang Hong nodded and then asked, "Aren't you eating?"
"I've already eaten a bit," Sihui pushed the soy milk bowl towards Jiang Hong, indicating it was for him. Jiang Hong ate Sihui's portion too, feeling unusually hungry that day.
"What does love feel like to someone like you who has lived for so long?" Jiang Hong asked again.
"All conditioned phenomena," Sihui slowly answered, "are like a dream, an illusion, a bubble, and a shadow, like dew and lightning, and should be regarded as such."
Jiang Hong seemed to have heard this before but didn't quite understand it, so Sihui explained, "This is a verse from the Diamond Sutra, meaning all causes and conditions are transient and impermanent, like dreams, lightning, and morning dew, quickly vanishing."
Jiang Hong nodded, seeming to understand, yet not completely.
"People interpret this as, since everything is transient, there is no need to cling, and we should learn to let go," Sihui continued seriously. "But I think dreams that are forgotten upon waking, lightning that flashes momentarily, dew that disappears with the sunrise..."
"...are all beautiful."
Chapter 84: Confession
Xi'an in the summer holidays reached the peak of its busy season. The Great Tang Dynasty Never Sleeps City truly lived up to its name with all-night revelry. The Daci'en Temple was swarming with crowds. Jiang Hong first indulged in five or six feasts, then had a long, satisfying sleep.
Summer was filled with couples holding hands, but the weather in August was unbearably hot.
"What's next?" Lu Xiu seemed very interested in Jiang Hong's final creation.
"Next is..." Jiang Hong checked his phone, saying, "to find the last convergence point of the earth's energy meridians..."
"Daci'en Temple, Giant Wild Goose Pagoda," Lu Xiu knew the places well.
"Right," Jiang Hong said. "Using the power of the earth's spiritual energy to complete my final step... Let me see... Principal Cao gave me an entrance... Here it is, we can go in the evening. It's managed by the Monster Association, but I have a letter of introduction."
"It doesn’t matter if you don’t have one," Lu Xiu said. "Are you going into the underground palace?"
"Yes, I guess?" Jiang Hong had never been there before. "That's where the purest terrestrial energy is. I'll use it to condense the collected spiritual energy and then infuse it into..."
Jiang Hong almost slipped up and quickly shut his mouth, looking at Lu Xiu.
"Got it," Lu Xiu said. "I’ll take you to the Monster Association after dinner."
Across from the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda was a bustling commercial street. Jiang Hong looked around and said, "Wow, the Xi'an Monster Association is here? It seems so down-to-earth."
"It’s okay," Lu Xiu replied, leading Jiang Hong into a KTV and saying to the front desk, "Room 106."
Jiang Hong peeked around as they entered the room, his mind full of question marks. Lu Xiu glanced at the song selection screen, which only had one song. He pressed the button and picked up the microphone.
Jiang Hong: "?????"
Unexpectedly, the accompaniment started from the chorus, and Lu Xiu began to sing along.
"Ah si de ge lo di de lo di de lo di..." Lu Xiu sang expressionlessly. Jiang Hong took another microphone, pointing at himself, wondering if he was supposed to join in.
Lu Xiu nodded, and Jiang Hong followed with, "De lo di de lo di de lo di..." while feeling an urge to throw the microphone, thinking: What is this madness! Why start with the chorus of 'Tantui'?!
Suddenly, the entire KTV room went "whoosh" as if it disassembled like Lego toys!
The world reformed under a bizarre power; the sofas, bar, and coffee table were now on a floating platform. The display screen flew away, revealing a night scene reminiscent of the glorious Tang Dynasty, with its first lights aglow – a city that never sleeps!
Carved beams and painted rafters, countless bright lanterns floated in the air, and wooden buildings with colorful lanterns lined the streets. Sky lanterns floated above, with words written on them: "Congratulations on the 6th International Monster Expo."
Jiang Hong: "......"
Even prepared, Jiang Hong was still slightly shocked by the sight. The Monster Association, richer than the Exorcism Committee and known for its love of retro Chinese style, but an "International Monster Expo" was indeed startling. Thankfully, there were no National Monster Sports Meet or Monster Olympics.
However, whether the "expo" showcased the monsters themselves or something else remained unknown.
"Not many monsters here know me," Lu Xiu said. "Want to look around? I can accompany you."
Jiang Hong replied, "Should we get to the main business first? It's really bustling here, feels like walking through a Lantern Festival... Old Sun, don't wander off!"
Everywhere was bustling with vendors, mostly selling specialties from around the world. In the center of the eight-market street was the brightly lit Giant Wild Goose Pagoda. Jiang Hong was tempted to roam around, but prioritized their main task.
Following Lu Xiu to the base of the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda, which was unattended, Jiang Hong asked, "Is this the monster world?"
"Strictly speaking, it's not a 'world' because the space is limited," Lu Xiu explained. "It's more of a monster 'realm'."
"Is it the same place as the human world's Giant Wild Goose Pagoda?" Jiang Hong inquired further.
"Sort of," Lu Xiu answered, pressing on the door. The door at the base of the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda vanished, "But the entrance to the underground palace is only on the Monster Association's side to prevent accidental human entry."
Inside was an escalator, and Jiang Hong turned back, calling, "Old Sun!"
So Old Sun joined them on the escalator, which was well-lit on both sides, not dark or frightening at all.
Inside was another door. Lu Xiu pressed his hand against it, opening it to reveal a narrow staircase. Jiang Hong carefully descended with Old Sun in his arms. At the end of the stairs was a platform leading to a climbing ladder meant for one person.
"Cling onto my back," Lu Xiu instructed. "I'll take you down."
Jiang Hong did as told, thinking about the hassle of returning the same way after visiting the underground palace.
Lu Xiu grasped the sides of the iron ladder, descending smoothly like a commando. It took several seconds, and as Jiang Hong looked down, he saw a glimmer of blue light.
The blue light, growing steadily, was characteristic of the earth's energy, bright yet not blinding.
Finally, they landed in a vast space, and Jiang Hong, momentarily speechless, surveyed his surroundings—
—This was an immense underground world, aptly named the underground palace; only "palace" could describe this subterranean area!
The hemispherical dome was adorned with golden lotus patterns from a thousand years ago, surrounded by cloud patterns and numerous flying apsaras, with thousands of Buddha images around them.
The floor was laid with tiles patterned with Buddhist swastikas, emitting a faint blue light from the cracks, the same light seen on the long ladder, emanating from this place.
The spacious underground palace, spanning thousands of square meters, had a shallow pool-like area in the center. In front of the pool stood an ancient, partially damaged gilded wooden Buddha statue. The Buddha sat in a lotus position, with his right hand forming the Mahavairocana Mudra and his left hand resting flat below. From a distance, it resembled the image of the Buddha.
But on its left hand, there seemed to be something missing, perhaps taken by someone, leaving an irregular circular dust imprint.
"This is the earth's energy well," Lu Xiu stated.
"Exactly! This is the place!" Jiang Hong exclaimed. "Can you help me stabilize the energy of the earth's furnace? Just in case I can't control it."
Lu Xiu replied, "Of course. What magical artifact are you planning to forge?"
Meanwhile, Old Sun slowly approached the pool, gazing up at the Buddha statue.
"Jiang Hong..." Suddenly, Old Sun turned its camera toward Jiang Hong.
Jiang Hong signaled Old Sun to wait, as he was in a moment of concentration.
"Can I start now?" Jiang Hong asked. "Or should I wait for the right moment?"
"Anytime is fine," Lu Xiu replied. "Come on, let me see the magical artifact you've prepared for so long."
Jiang Hong took a deep breath, ready to summon the sword he crafted for Lu Xiu from the space created by the dragon blood mark. Yet, at the last moment, he became apprehensive.
"Maybe… could you turn around?"
"Is that necessary?" Lu Xiu was nearly out of patience with Jiang Hong but prepared to turn around, respecting his wish.
"Never mind, never mind…" Jiang Hong felt a bit embarrassed, took Lu Xiu's hand, and whispered, "Actually… it's made for you. It's just a bit rough, not… not very well made, here, what do you think?"
Jiang Hong then produced the western sword, and Lu Xiu was suddenly taken aback.
The sword shimmered with the flowing light of the surrounding earth's energy. Though not yet infused with spirit, it looked beautiful amidst the vast sea of spiritual energy. Blue light slowly flowed along the blade, revealing the result of thousands of hammer strikes and firings, slightly disordered but carrying the creator's clumsy yet earnest effort.
"I haven't infused it with spirit yet," Jiang Hong's heart raced with nervousness, afraid to see Lu Xiu's reaction. "Shall I infuse it now? Yeah, let's do that."
Lu Xiu: "…………"
Just as Jiang Hong turned, Lu Xiu suddenly gripped his hand tightly.
"Ah? What's... what's wrong?" Jiang Hong turned to see Lu Xiu, whose bright, clear eyes seemed to be sparkling.
But Lu Xiu quickly let go of Jiang Hong's hand, saying, "It's nothing."
"Do you want to take a look first?" Jiang Hong asked again.
"No," Lu Xiu answered without hesitation. "I'll wait for you to complete the final step."
Jiang Hong self-deprecatingly said, "It's a bit clumsy…"
"No!" Lu Xiu immediately replied. "I really like it, truly, I really do!"
"Ah! Really?" Jiang Hong instantly smiled, gaining confidence. "Then… let's proceed."
He placed the western sword into the pool. It floated there, the water remaining calm. Jiang Hong considered whether to push it down but decided to first add the Pure Light Lustrous Glass.
He then positioned the Pure Light Lustrous Glass above the sword. Both the sword and the glass floated as if under magnetic suspension, slowly rotating. After adding the glass, the earth's energy began to resonate with the spiritual force, turning the blue light into a flowing stream that slowly rose, forming a vortex.
The earth's energy, though called a "furnace," was not actually fire and had nothing to do with the fire element. It was said that "heaven and earth are the furnace," possessing the power to smelt everything.
Hoping there would be no complications in this final step, Jiang Hong silently prayed to the Buddha statue, beginning the sword forging process.
"Okay, added. Now to release the spiritual energy and the sword materials…"
The Pure Light Lustrous Glass inverted, releasing six major rays of light, instantly filling the entire underground palace with lightning, blazing fire, starlight, sunlight, moonlight, and will-o'-the-wisps!
"Oh my God!" Jiang Hong never expected such a scene, like the apocalypse had arrived! The entire palace was engulfed in a storm, with bricks and stones crumbling and crashing down!
Lightning crisscrossed, various bright lights collided and exploded uncontrollably, turning the palace into a vast platform surrounded by deep darkness, as if in outer space!
"Don't be afraid!" Lu Xiu shouted. "It's going to be okay! Stabilize the furnace!"
Jiang Hong screamed, "The spiritual energy I collected seems too strong!"
"Can I absorb it?" Old Sun yelled amidst the chaos.
"No!" Jiang Hong shouted back. "I collected it with great effort! Don't you dare absorb it while I'm struggling! Get to the side!"
Lu Xiu, transformed into a dragon, circled around Jiang Hong, blocking the spiritual hurricane, yelling, "Control it! You can do it! Use the power of the Book of Everything!"
Right, the Book of Everything! Jiang Hong suddenly remembered, activating the Book of Everything—
With the Book in hand, the world transformed again; all the light and turbulent spiritual energy turned into particle effects.
The Buddha statue in front of the earth's energy furnace emitted a brilliant golden light, with a thin line emerging from its top, piercing through the central lotus pattern of the dome, shooting out of the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda, and connecting to the heaven's energy.
Jiang Hong immediately directed the Book of Everything towards the electric light, selecting and dragging it towards the rapidly spinning western sword.
With a loud bang, the electric light was infused into the western sword!
Amidst the surge of spiritual energy, the Book of Everything became like a magic wand or a conductor's baton in a grand symphony, wielded by Jiang Hong. It chased down the escaping light rays, drawing each towards the sword with resounding 'booms', all entering the blade.
A brief moment of silence, as if time itself had frozen, the flying black dragon turned around, its body covered in glowing runes, illuminating the eternal darkness.
It was like the scene before the universe's collapse and rebirth...
The next moment, Jiang Hong raised the conductor's baton, now transformed from the Book of Everything, drawing in all the spiritual energy. The energy of the Big Dipper formation from the earth surged, gathering into a vortex, simultaneously pulling the power of the heaven and earth's energy.
"Go!" Jiang Hong directed the spiritual force with the Book of Everything, gesturing elegantly towards the western sword.
The earth's energy burst forth in a blinding light, sweeping up the spiritual energy and transforming into a natural furnace that smelted everything, enveloping the western sword, then suddenly dimmed and dissipated.
"Did it work?" Jiang Hong gasped for breath, looking around in disbelief.
Lu Xiu: "It worked."
As the light faded, only the Buddha statue remained standing, unshaken by the storm of spiritual energy. In its hand now appeared the western sword, wrapped in dazzling golden light.
"Oh no," Jiang Hong said, "In forging this sword, did I... Oh?"
When the spiritual hurricane had risen, the underground palace had disintegrated, turning into a vast platform in the cosmic space. But now, as if he had been seeing things, they were back in the palace, with the surroundings exactly as before, as if nothing had happened, like a dream.
"Take it down," Jiang Hong urged Lu Xiu.
Lu Xiu stared at the sword, then at the Buddha statue, and then turned to Jiang Hong, seemingly hesitant to approach.
"Go on," Jiang Hong said with a smile.
Lu Xiu stepped forward and caught the sword with both hands. The western sword hummed as it flew slowly towards him, landing in his grasp. Its glow receded and then disappeared.
"It worked!" Jiang Hong exclaimed. "Does it recognize you as its master?"
Unlike magical artifacts, weapons do not require blood to acknowledge their master, Jiang Hong learned in Professor Cao Bin's class. Weapons have only one way of acknowledging a master, that is, "submission." In other words, there exists a special destiny between them.
"Yes," Lu Xiu said. "Since it was forged for me, I am naturally its master."
Holding the sword, Lu Xiu examined it closely. "But it has not been officially sharpened yet. I will carefully choose its first blood."
"Uh," Jiang Hong also realized that, after all, weapons are ominous, even if they are unparalleled divine arms, created for slaughter, which is somewhat frightening.
Jiang Hong's features reflected on the blade, and Lu Xiu then looked up at him.
"You can name it," Jiang Hong said happily. "But... whenever you like. Should we be going out now?"
Lu Xiu snapped back to reality, responding, "Right, let's talk outside."
With a casual sheathing gesture, Lu Xiu made the western sword disappear.
Indeed, he knew how. His regular fencing practice lent him a unique aura.
"I'll take you up," Lu Xiu said to Jiang Hong.
"Old Sun, let's go!" Jiang Hong put Old Sun in his bag, sighing with relief. Finally, the long summer journey was over, completing a challenging task, nearly half a semester spent forging until three in the morning every day…
Jiang Hong clung to Lu Xiu's back, one arm around his neck and the other around his ribs, as Lu Xiu carried him, slowly climbing up the celestial ladder.
"Next time you encounter your darker self," Jiang Hong said, "you'll have one more weapon. You'll definitely defeat him."
"Hmm."
Jiang Hong's heart thumped rapidly. After everything settled down, he leaned against Lu Xiu's back, involuntarily turning his head to rest against Lu Xiu's shoulder, whispering into his ear.
"You guessed it already, didn't you?" Jiang Hong added.
"Hmm."
Lu Xiu kept his answers short and simple in the darkness.
Jiang Hong continued, "You had figured it out, right?"
Finally, Lu Xiu responded more earnestly, "I had a bit of a guess, but I didn't expect it to be a sword."
They remained silent in the darkness. Jiang Hong felt something was off with Lu Xiu. Was it because he was moved? Or should he not flatter himself? Perhaps Lu Xiu liked it, but he probably wouldn't think too much about it...
"Lu Xiu."
The light from the earth's energy gradually faded, leaving them surrounded by endless darkness. The celestial ladder seemed to extend infinitely, with no end or bottom in sight, as if they were back in that vast cosmic space.
"Hmm?" Lu Xiu became less talkative after receiving the sword, almost like the first day Jiang Hong met him.
Jiang Hong's heartbeats intensified. He had thought before that if there were things Lu Xiu found hard to say, perhaps he could say them instead.
"Lu Xiu," Jiang Hong whispered again near his ear.
"Hmm." Lu Xiu slightly shifted to avoid Jiang Hong's lips, trying not to let his ear touch them.
Jiang Hong laughed, "What's the matter?"
"It tickles a bit," Lu Xiu said softly in the darkness.
"Lu Xiu," Jiang Hong spoke again.
He once thought he couldn't do many things: becoming an exorcist, facing seemingly invincible foes, forging a sword like this... but he did them all.
"Hmm, what do you want to say?" Lu Xiu turned his head slightly again, carefully avoiding, as if afraid of touching Jiang Hong's lips.
"I..." Jiang Hong finally let go of all his reservations and whispered, "Lu Xiu, I... I think I like you... No, not just a bit, I mean... Yes, I like you."
Lu Xiu stopped moving, holding onto the ladder, then looked up after a moment.
"Hmm," Lu Xiu responded.
Jiang Hong suddenly found himself at a loss for what to say next.
"Do you like me?" Jiang Hong, still embracing him from behind, asked softly.
Lu Xiu didn't answer for a long time, as if centuries had passed.
"What kind of liking are you talking about?" Lu Xiu's voice trembled slightly, but then he continued climbing.
"Oh." The answer Jiang Hong wanted came so quickly that he couldn't fully comprehend it at the moment, so he could only laugh self-deprecatingly.
"Are we there yet?" Jiang Hong asked again.
"Almost there," Lu Xiu replied.
Finally leaving the celestial ladder, Lu Xiu led Jiang Hong back to the platform and started up the stairs. When Jiang Hong stumbled, Lu Xiu reached out to steady him, holding his hand, but soon let go.
"What kind of liking?" Lu Xiu repeated his question.
"Nothing," Jiang Hong replied with an awkward smile.
Lu Xiu nodded and walked ahead as if he dared not look into Jiang Hong's eyes. Jiang Hong watched his back, suddenly feeling a hollow emptiness inside.
Is it really like this? Jiang Hong always felt it shouldn't be this way… Did I misunderstand something?
But there had been signs all along, like the day Lu Xiu asked, "When will you get a girlfriend?" It had just been selectively ignored by him. But still… still…
"It's that kind of liking," Jiang Hong said as they approached the exit of the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda's underground palace. He stopped and said to Lu Xiu, "The kind between lovers. I love you, Lu Xiu."
Having breached this topic, Jiang Hong didn't hold back anymore. He didn’t consider himself an obsessive person, but at that moment, he was desperate for some confirmation, like a drowning person grasping for a hand.
"Hmm..." Lu Xiu looked towards the door and said, "I know."
He seemed unwilling to answer Jiang Hong's question.
"What about you?" Jiang Hong asked.
"Aren't we going out?" Lu Xiu finally looked into Jiang Hong's eyes. "Let's talk outside."
Jiang Hong didn't move, as if self-protecting. Perhaps once they reached a place with light and people, he wouldn't be able to say these words again. Only when they were alone could he gather the courage to speak his mind all at once.
"Then let's go," Jiang Hong said, understanding from Lu Xiu's evasion the likely outcome of his confession, but still hoping for one last confirmation.
Lu Xiu then opened the door, letting in the light from outside. The City That Never Sleeps had quieted down, leaving only lanterns shining in the night sky and the shops on the market street closing up.
"What do you feel for me?" Jiang Hong tried to salvage his failed attempt, feigning ease and smiling as best as he could. "To be honest, I always thought..."
Lu Xiu sat down on the steps outside the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda.
Lu Xiu quietly looked at the ground, his demeanor resembling Keda sitting in the same spot in the human world not long ago.
"Are you okay?" Jiang Hong was again drawn to the shadows of the two of them.
"I'm thinking," Lu Xiu replied calmly.
Jiang Hong didn't interrupt him, instead sitting beside him, maintaining a small distance. Jiang Hong stared blankly at the lanterns in the sky.
After a while, Lu Xiu began to speak.
"I also... I also..." Lu Xiu seemed to struggle to find the right words, looking towards Jiang Hong, but in the end, he appeared to change his mind.
"I do like you," Lu Xiu said with difficulty, "but not in the way you hope. Jiang Hong, one day you'll have your own family, your own lover…"
"I know," Jiang Hong said with a laugh. "It's okay, don’t worry about it. Why do you seem more upset than me…"
"No, you don't understand," Lu Xiu said earnestly. "You don’t know anything."
Jiang Hong: "I don't even know why I suddenly liked a guy. Maybe it's just specific to you."
"This has nothing to do with gender," Lu Xiu said. "You'll have your own lover, whether male or female. You'll live a happy life together. To you, I am just... just..."
Jiang Hong suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He looked at Lu Xiu with tears rolling in his eyes. He knew he shouldn't cry now, but he couldn't help it, his nose tingling uncontrollably.
Finally, Lu Xiu said: "Just... Anyway, I don’t feel that way about you. Apart from this, I'd do anything for you, anything at all... I promise you, that’s how I've always felt about you. I can be your best friend, yes, your best friend."
Jiang Hong wiped his tears and nodded: "Okay."
"I'm sorry," Lu Xiu also pinched his nose, looking into the distance and muttering, "Really sorry, sorry, Jiang Hong... I'm sorry to you... I didn't want it to be like this initially..."
"Why are you the one apologizing?" Jiang Hong suddenly felt a mix of laughter and tears, stood up and said, "It's okay. I'm just being greedy, wanting more."
Jiang Hong walked a few steps away, back facing Lu Xiu. He didn't want Lu Xiu to see him crying; it was too embarrassing.
"Jiang Hong!" Lu Xiu suddenly stood up, calling out loudly.
Jiang Hong instinctively turned his head, and Lu Xiu just stared at him, speechless.
For a second, then two, Lu Xiu seemed frozen, his lips trembling. He breathed heavily as if trying to control something.
But in the end, he said nothing, gradually calming down.
"I... I'll be going then," Jiang Hong said.
"Where are you going?" Lu Xiu asked, sounding lost.
"I think... I need to walk alone," Jiang Hong replied. "I need some time to myself. This is so embarrassing."
"No, no," Lu Xiu hurried after him, as if wanting to grab Jiang Hong's hand but stopping himself.
"I want to be alone for a while," Jiang Hong said with a pleading tone.
Lu Xiu fell silent, watching Jiang Hong walk away aimlessly, not paying attention to where he was going. Lu Xiu quickly followed him again.
"Can you stop following me for now?" Jiang Hong, overwhelmed with sadness, wanted to find a place to cry, but weeping openly was too embarrassing. He didn't want Lu Xiu to see him cry.
"I don't understand," Lu Xiu's voice was also filled with sorrow. "Because I rejected you, you want to leave?"
"It's not that..." Jiang Hong wiped his tears and turned to Lu Xiu. "I don't know, I'm just confused right now. I need some time alone."
Lu Xiu quickly came over, and Jiang Hong noticed his eyes were red too. This time, when Lu Xiu tried to hold his hand, Jiang Hong dodged, but Lu Xiu persisted and grasped his hand firmly.
"Let me take you out," Lu Xiu said. "You don't know the way here."
"Okay," Jiang Hong agreed.
Lu Xiu led Jiang Hong through another exit and they returned to the human world, beneath the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda.
"Here we are," Lu Xiu said. "Back now."
Jiang Hong stepped away from Lu Xiu and looked around. His overwhelming sadness had passed; he had felt desperately hopeless moments before.
"I feel better now," Jiang Hong stated. "But I still want to walk alone."
Lu Xiu was silent for a moment, then said, "I'll go back to the school."
Jiang Hong nodded, suddenly feeling as if all his strength had left him. Lu Xiu said, "If you need anything, just call me."
Jiang Hong didn't speak further, walking a bit further away, pausing behind the statue of Xuanzang. He turned back to look, and Lu Xiu was still there.
He lowered his head, walking slowly, his mind a blank. He sighed deeply, as if trying to exhale all his sorrow.
When he looked back again, Lu Xiu was no longer there.
So, Jiang Hong found a spot and sat down slowly, looking up at the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda.
"Jiang Hong, let me out," came Old Sun's voice from the backpack.
Jiang Hong took Old Sun out and placed him on the ground, saying tiredly, "Go and play on your own."
Old Sun said, "I remembered something."
Jiang Hong: "Hmm?"
Old Sun: "I was unearthed in the Giant Wild Goose Pagoda, right in the underground palace."
Jiang Hong: "Oh."
Old Sun turned on the light of his camera and walked away.
Jiang Hong zoned out for a while. He tried to recall every moment he had spent with Lu Xiu, but what was the point of it all?
"So he doesn't like me," Jiang Hong wished he could dig a hole and bury himself in it. "This is so embarrassing. Why did I even confess to him? I must have been out of my mind!"
Jiang Hong wished he could travel back in time and give himself from twenty minutes ago a good scolding.
"It's for the best, we won't fall in love now. No more worries about this and that... and my parents won't be disappointed in me for being gay," Jiang Hong consoled himself.
"Lu Xiu said he'd do anything for me, except be my lover. That's also a form of love, I guess..." Jiang Hong tried to comfort himself again.
But no matter how much he consoled himself, Jiang Hong still felt miserable, and that misery finally burst out. He first wiped his tears with the back of his hand, then started sobbing softly.
"I really like Lu Xiu."
So, being rejected made him this sad. His failed confession once again made Jiang Hong realize his true feelings.
Footsteps approached while Jiang Hong was crying.
He immediately stopped crying and asked, "Why did you come back?"
The streetlight cast a shadow next to Jiang Hong. He turned his head and saw that it wasn't Lu Xiu returning, but another person, Xi Sihui.
Sihui: "......"
Jiang Hong was startled and quickly wiped his face, saying, "Why is it you?"
"I came to Xi'an for a flower and bird exhibition," Sihui said, thinking hard. "What about you? Why are you here alone?"
Jiang Hong felt even more embarrassed, but for some reason, seeing Sihui made him feel a little better.
"It's nothing," Jiang Hong said.
"Why were you crying?" Sihui looked down at him, observing from a higher stance.
"I... I was just wandering around," Jiang Hong replied.
Sihui then asked, "Aren't you going home for the summer break?"
Jiang Hong: "I was planning to go back soon."
Sihui hummed in response, saying, "You should go back home, being with your parents is always good."
Jiang Hong: "Okay... okay. Old Sun!"
He wasn't sure if this was Sihui's characteristic concern or just a chance encounter, but it lessened his sorrow somewhat. Checking the time, it was already past four in the morning.
Is it that late already? Jiang Hong didn't feel tired at all, but as soon as he saw the time, his whole body felt drained.
"You..." Jiang Hong noticed Sihui still following him.
Sihui: "?"
"Nothing," Jiang Hong thought it over and decided to return to his hotel. What else could he do? Go back to the school to find Lu Xiu? He felt they both needed some time alone.
On the empty streets, only the streetlights were on. All of Xi'an was asleep. In half an hour, cleaners would come out to sweep the streets, then the sun would still rise, breakfast stalls would open, bustling with people; and then, as the day advanced, the scorching sun would shine, with countless tourists coming and going; then, as the day turned to evening, the lights of the Great Tang Dynasty Never Sleeps City would light up again... The cycle repeats endlessly.
However, only at this moment and in this place, it was lonely and cold. In the deepest part of this summer night, even the wind seemed to have disappeared.
Jiang Hong kept looking back at Sihui.
Sihui spoke again, "We are friends, aren't we?"
Jiang Hong: "Yes, yes we are. What's up?"
Sihui made a gesture that seemed meaningless, and Jiang Hong, feeling dejected, continued to walk with his head down.
"So, if you're upset about something," Sihui said, "you can talk about it. Why were you crying?"
"Oh, I see." Jiang Hong forced a smile, realizing that Sihui was expressing concern, and nodded in agreement.
They walked past several streets, and breakfast shops had already opened.
"Let me treat you to breakfast," Jiang Hong offered.
Sihui hummed in agreement, and Jiang Hong found a breakfast shop, buying youtiao (deep-fried dough sticks) and soy milk. He wasn't used to the local spicy soup and stuck to his childhood eating habits, breaking the youtiao into pieces and soaking them in a large bowl of sweet soy milk.
"Because my confession was rejected," Jiang Hong finally said. "Actually, it's not really about success or failure, just... I was deluding myself."
Sihui responded, "Hmm."
So, Jiang Hong shared his unexplained feelings for Lu Xiu, his understanding of their relationship, and his frustrations, selectively telling Sihui some details. Strangely, after talking about it, Jiang Hong felt much better.
Sihui listened quietly throughout.
"Have you ever liked someone?" Jiang Hong asked. "Although I'm not sure if what I experienced can be called love."
Sihui answered, "Not in this reincarnation. Maybe in the past, but I don't remember clearly."
Jiang Hong knew that phoenixes live very long, undergoing reincarnation every thousand years. It was somewhat like rebirth, but whether they retained memories, or how much they remembered, he was not sure.
"Having lived for so long," Jiang Hong said with a smile, "you must have seen all sorts of things in the human world and nothing surprises you anymore." Perhaps his troubles were nothing more than an ancient love story to Sihui.
Sihui didn't speak and didn't eat breakfast, just quietly watched Jiang Hong.
"Do you live longer than the Ghost King?" Jiang Hong asked.
"He's just a child in front of me," Sihui replied.
"Oh, right." Jiang Hong nodded and then asked, "Aren't you eating?"
"I've already eaten a bit," Sihui pushed the soy milk bowl towards Jiang Hong, indicating it was for him. Jiang Hong ate Sihui's portion too, feeling unusually hungry that day.
"What does love feel like to someone like you who has lived for so long?" Jiang Hong asked again.
"All conditioned phenomena," Sihui slowly answered, "are like a dream, an illusion, a bubble, and a shadow, like dew and lightning, and should be regarded as such."
Jiang Hong seemed to have heard this before but didn't quite understand it, so Sihui explained, "This is a verse from the Diamond Sutra, meaning all causes and conditions are transient and impermanent, like dreams, lightning, and morning dew, quickly vanishing."
Jiang Hong nodded, seeming to understand, yet not completely.
"People interpret this as, since everything is transient, there is no need to cling, and we should learn to let go," Sihui continued seriously. "But I think dreams that are forgotten upon waking, lightning that flashes momentarily, dew that disappears with the sunrise..."
"...are all beautiful."
