It happened right as I turned off my motorcycle in the parking lot of the convenience store I worked at. A rectangular shadow appeared on the ground below me. When I looked up, my eyes shrank as a truck descended upon me from the heavens.
Like hell it was!
I’d long checked there too!
Hah!
Screw you trucks, you’re not killing me today!
When I stepped inside the convenience store, I looked over my shoulder one last time just to be one hundred percent sure there wasn’t a truck headed my way. I was paranoid, but it was better to be safe than sorry.
Be it those dreaded sky trucks or over your shoulder convenience store trucks, none would have their way with my body today.
Okay, enough escaping reality.
As soon as I entered the store my eyes landed on the violet-haired monster resting her chin atop the palm of her right hand at the side of the counter. She was staring at me.
“Any last words~?” She asked as soon as our eyes locked.
I glanced around the store and confirmed there weren't any customers inside before I responded, “I just got my license today and I didn’t want to get into a traffic accident because I was rushing to make it on time so I was doing the responsible thing by taking my time to get here.”
“I see. How responsible of you~ Buuuut~ you’re still fired~”
“Haaaaah.”
“Now that you’re fired, let’s get on with your interview. Heh, really now, being late for your interview, I really don’t know if I should hire such an unreliable person.”
Alicia looked at me from behind the counter with a troubled expression. “But Owner-“ Alicia opened her mouth, but the Owner silenced her with a scary glare.
“What were you about to say, Alicia~?”
“N-Nothing…” she shrunk back, unable to open her mouth again.
I obediently followed behind the Owner as she led me into her office at the back of the store. I silently took a seat opposite to her in front of her desk, upon which she asked, “Aren’t you going to introduce yourself?”
“Seriously?”
“Of course.”
“My name is... Ran Sozen.”
“Are you old enough to work, Ran?”
“Yes… I turned sixteen today.”
“Oh, so it’s your birthday? What a surprise~”
My ass it’s a surprise! Don’t act like you don’t know me!
“Yes, it is my birthday.” I kept my retort to myself without showing the slightest sign of annoyance as we kept this farce going.
“I see. I see. Well, first and foremost, what are your hours of availability, Ran?”
“The same as ever.”
“The same as ever? I don’t understand. Have you worked with us before? I don’t believe we’ve ever met~ oh! I know what it is. You were trying to hit on me just now, weren’t you?”
“Haha, no, I wasn’t trying to hit on you.” This bitch. “It was my mistake, for some strange inexplicable reason, I thought you were some old hag I used to work for as your image momentarily overlapped with her in my head.”
“Oh, really now?” Her eyes narrowed and her lips twitched back into a malicious grin.
“Anyway, Ran, back to the question. What’s your availability?”
“From 4:00 PM to 10:00 PM, preferably ending at 9:00 PM Monday through Saturday.”
“I see. It just so happens we have a position that opened up today for that time slot. What a coincidence~”
“Haha… that’s a real coincidence all right.”
“So, Ran~, why do you want to work here?”
“I don’t want to work here.” I snapped back.
“Oh? You don’t~? Then why did you come to this interview?”
“Because I need money. Personally, I’d love to live a life of unemployment and leach off of the government for the rest of my life, but at the same time, I don’t want to turn into a useless bum who can’t do anything for myself.”
“How honest of you. Are you planning to go to university after you graduate high school?”
“No.”
“I see. What do you plan to do then? Where do you see yourself in the next five years?”
“Lazing about at home doing what I enjoy doing the most for a living.”
The Owner raised one brow and mused, “Oh? What you enjoy doing the most for a living? And what would that be exactly?”
“That’s a secret.”
“Oh, no need to be shy. So working under me and being my toy is what you enjoy doing the most for a living?”
“Nobody said that. Please don’t interpret my words however you want.”
“Hmm… if it’s not that… could it be what you enjoy doing the most for a living is playing around with multiple women?”
“I don’t have such bad taste. If possible, I’d like to minimize my interactions with women as much as possible in the future.”
“Hmmm… considering how you have two girlfriends, that doesn’t sound very convincing.”
“...” The number has grown a bit since then. I naturally couldn’t say that though.
“Choosing to remain silent? As expected of a criminal guilty as charged. So, why should I hire you, Mr. Cheater?”
“You shouldn’t.”
“Hey, look, I’m seriously not going to hire you if you don’t take this seriously~”
“I am taking this seriously. My two girlfriends work here, hiring me is obviously a bad business decision. I’m simply stating facts.”
“Hmm… how about this for a question then. If you were going to kiss your boss’s ass and suck up to them to get in their good books, how would you do it?”
“Huh? What sort of interview question is this?”
“It’s one I just thought up on the spot. Now, answer it. Your answer here will be critical in determining whether you get hired.”
I squinted my eyes as I covered my mouth, squeezed my chin, and seriously contemplated seriously over what I could possibly compliment her on. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing.
“Hey, come on~ there’s got to be something you can think of, right~?” When she realized how much I was struggling, she actually got desperate.
“Uh… your purple hair makes you look like a monster? That counts as a compliment, right?”
“If I were in a world of demons!”
“Then… uh… among the women I know... you’re definitely…
“Definitely?” She sat up in her seat expectantly.
“... the biggest pain in my ass?”
“Keep trying.” Her lips spasmed.
“You’re so young and pretty... pfft.”
“At least say it with a straight face!”
“Then… you’re so young and pretty for an old lady.”
“Heheh… I see, I get it now. Now that you’re not employed here you’ve lost your fear of me as your boss. You believe you’re free to say whatever you want without consequences because you think it’s fine even if you don’t get hired here. You have the option to find another place to work now that you’re old enough. I understand your game plan now. If that happens, you can come to my stores, and so long as you don’t cross a certain line, you’re free to say whatever you want to me and I won’t really be able to punish you for it the way I would be able to if you were my employee. The only way for me to ensure you keep being a good little boy is by hiring you. Is that correct?”
“Yeah. Pretty much. I’ll be sure to find you and talk shit all day as a valued customer of your humble establishment who’s always right.” I couldn’t help but grin evilly to myself when I imagined being always right.
You want to fire me, sure, cut my leash and I’m free to say whatever I want without worrying about the repercussions. I didn’t need to list this place as a former workplace since I was never officially hired and it wouldn’t show up as a black mark on my employment record.
It happened right as I turned off my motorcycle in the parking lot of the convenience store I worked at. A rectangular shadow appeared on the ground below me. When I looked up, my eyes shrank as a truck descended upon me from the heavens.
Like hell it was!
I’d long checked there too!
Hah!
Screw you trucks, you’re not killing me today!
When I stepped inside the convenience store, I looked over my shoulder one last time just to be one hundred percent sure there wasn’t a truck headed my way. I was paranoid, but it was better to be safe than sorry.
Be it those dreaded sky trucks or over your shoulder convenience store trucks, none would have their way with my body today.
Okay, enough escaping reality.
As soon as I entered the store my eyes landed on the violet-haired monster resting her chin atop the palm of her right hand at the side of the counter. She was staring at me.
“Any last words~?” She asked as soon as our eyes locked.
I glanced around the store and confirmed there weren't any customers inside before I responded, “I just got my license today and I didn’t want to get into a traffic accident because I was rushing to make it on time so I was doing the responsible thing by taking my time to get here.”
“I see. How responsible of you~ Buuuut~ you’re still fired~”
“Haaaaah.”
“Now that you’re fired, let’s get on with your interview. Heh, really now, being late for your interview, I really don’t know if I should hire such an unreliable person.”
Alicia looked at me from behind the counter with a troubled expression. “But Owner-“ Alicia opened her mouth, but the Owner silenced her with a scary glare.
“What were you about to say, Alicia~?”
“N-Nothing…” she shrunk back, unable to open her mouth again.
I obediently followed behind the Owner as she led me into her office at the back of the store. I silently took a seat opposite to her in front of her desk, upon which she asked, “Aren’t you going to introduce yourself?”
“Seriously?”
“Of course.”
“My name is... Ran Sozen.”
“Are you old enough to work, Ran?”
“Yes… I turned sixteen today.”
“Oh, so it’s your birthday? What a surprise~”
My ass it’s a surprise! Don’t act like you don’t know me!
“Yes, it is my birthday.” I kept my retort to myself without showing the slightest sign of annoyance as we kept this farce going.
“I see. I see. Well, first and foremost, what are your hours of availability, Ran?”
“The same as ever.”
“The same as ever? I don’t understand. Have you worked with us before? I don’t believe we’ve ever met~ oh! I know what it is. You were trying to hit on me just now, weren’t you?”
“Haha, no, I wasn’t trying to hit on you.” This bitch. “It was my mistake, for some strange inexplicable reason, I thought you were some old hag I used to work for as your image momentarily overlapped with her in my head.”
“Oh, really now?” Her eyes narrowed and her lips twitched back into a malicious grin.
“Anyway, Ran, back to the question. What’s your availability?”
“From 4:00 PM to 10:00 PM, preferably ending at 9:00 PM Monday through Saturday.”
“I see. It just so happens we have a position that opened up today for that time slot. What a coincidence~”
“Haha… that’s a real coincidence all right.”
“So, Ran~, why do you want to work here?”
“I don’t want to work here.” I snapped back.
“Oh? You don’t~? Then why did you come to this interview?”
“Because I need money. Personally, I’d love to live a life of unemployment and leach off of the government for the rest of my life, but at the same time, I don’t want to turn into a useless bum who can’t do anything for myself.”
“How honest of you. Are you planning to go to university after you graduate high school?”
“No.”
“I see. What do you plan to do then? Where do you see yourself in the next five years?”
“Lazing about at home doing what I enjoy doing the most for a living.”
The Owner raised one brow and mused, “Oh? What you enjoy doing the most for a living? And what would that be exactly?”
“That’s a secret.”
“Oh, no need to be shy. So working under me and being my toy is what you enjoy doing the most for a living?”
“Nobody said that. Please don’t interpret my words however you want.”
“Hmm… if it’s not that… could it be what you enjoy doing the most for a living is playing around with multiple women?”
“I don’t have such bad taste. If possible, I’d like to minimize my interactions with women as much as possible in the future.”
“Hmmm… considering how you have two girlfriends, that doesn’t sound very convincing.”
“...” The number has grown a bit since then. I naturally couldn’t say that though.
“Choosing to remain silent? As expected of a criminal guilty as charged. So, why should I hire you, Mr. Cheater?”
“You shouldn’t.”
“Hey, look, I’m seriously not going to hire you if you don’t take this seriously~”
“I am taking this seriously. My two girlfriends work here, hiring me is obviously a bad business decision. I’m simply stating facts.”
“Hmm… how about this for a question then. If you were going to kiss your boss’s ass and suck up to them to get in their good books, how would you do it?”
“Huh? What sort of interview question is this?”
“It’s one I just thought up on the spot. Now, answer it. Your answer here will be critical in determining whether you get hired.”
I squinted my eyes as I covered my mouth, squeezed my chin, and seriously contemplated seriously over what I could possibly compliment her on. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing.
“Hey, come on~ there’s got to be something you can think of, right~?” When she realized how much I was struggling, she actually got desperate.
“Uh… your purple hair makes you look like a monster? That counts as a compliment, right?”
“If I were in a world of demons!”
“Then… uh… among the women I know... you’re definitely…
“Definitely?” She sat up in her seat expectantly.
“... the biggest pain in my ass?”
“Keep trying.” Her lips spasmed.
“You’re so young and pretty... pfft.”
“At least say it with a straight face!”
“Then… you’re so young and pretty for an old lady.”
“Heheh… I see, I get it now. Now that you’re not employed here you’ve lost your fear of me as your boss. You believe you’re free to say whatever you want without consequences because you think it’s fine even if you don’t get hired here. You have the option to find another place to work now that you’re old enough. I understand your game plan now. If that happens, you can come to my stores, and so long as you don’t cross a certain line, you’re free to say whatever you want to me and I won’t really be able to punish you for it the way I would be able to if you were my employee. The only way for me to ensure you keep being a good little boy is by hiring you. Is that correct?”
“Yeah. Pretty much. I’ll be sure to find you and talk shit all day as a valued customer of your humble establishment who’s always right.” I couldn’t help but grin evilly to myself when I imagined being always right.
You want to fire me, sure, cut my leash and I’m free to say whatever I want without worrying about the repercussions. I didn’t need to list this place as a former workplace since I was never officially hired and it wouldn’t show up as a black mark on my employment record.
