As I walked away from the arena, the cheers and the noise of the crowd slowly faded into the distance. I found myself strolling through the familiar corridors of the academy, my steps echoing in the empty halls. My thoughts were a tumultuous sea, and I couldn't help but replay the events of the tournament in my mind.
"What now? "I muttered to myself, my voice barely a whisper. I felt a sense of emptiness, a void where the adrenaline of battle had once surged. The victory should have been fulfilling, but instead, it left me with an unshakable restlessness.
Then, as if in response to my inner turmoil, a voice whispered within my mind. It was my own voice, but it sounded different and distorted, as if a part of me was finally losing its grip on reality.
"You are still weak. Be glad you won."
I knew this to be true, deep down. I was well aware of my limitations, my struggles, and my shortcomings. But the fact that I had emerged victorious against those "talented" nobles still infuriated me.
My footsteps echoed through the corridors as I continued my internal battle of questions and answers.
"Why are they weak? "I questioned, frustration seeping into my thoughts.
"They are not weak, and you are not strong," the voice replied, its tone unwavering, as if it were trying to break through my self-deception. "You just know better how to fight."
I clenched my fists, struggling to accept the truth I was confronted with. "I still lack the fundamentals, and I know I am incredibly weak, but compared to them..."
The voice interrupted, its words cutting through my doubts like a blade. "Don't fool yourself. Given enough time, they will surpass you, and you will be nothing compared to them."
Each answer from the voice was like a harsh dose of reality, a reminder that my current victory was just a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things. It was a bitter pill to swallow, and I found myself trapped in a cycle of self-reflection and self-critique.
As I wrestled with my inner turmoil, another voice, distinct from the one in my head, a voice of woman, intruded upon my thoughts. "Are you feeling unwell or injured? Why did you forfeit? "I inquired.
I stopped in my tracks, muttering, "I just had enough, and there's no point if I just win against someone who can't defend themselves."
Suddenly, the echo of approaching footsteps reached my ears. Before I could react, someone pushed me from behind, causing me to stumble. I turned to find Elara, her body still wrapped in bandages, her eyes fixed upon me.
"You! ," she exclaimed, her tone a mix of frustration and disappointment. "You could have been the winner if you just fought! Do you realise that? "
I hesitated, caught off guard by her words. I didn't have an immediate response; my internal turmoil conflicted with Elara's conviction.
"She is right. How can you just give up when you can just go ahead and win? "The voice uttered
"You had the chance, and you just defeated me for what? Just to forfeit? ," she continued, her voice softening slightly. "If I were in that position, I would fight like it was the last. I..."
Our eyes met, and I could see the fire of determination still burning within her despite her injuries. I remained silent, unable to find the right words to explain my actions.
Elara sighed, her disappointment palpable. "Well, it's your choice, Neah. But remember, in the end, it's the battles we fight that define us." With those parting words, she turned and walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts once more.
As I stood up, I heard a commotion in the arena, as if another battle had started. I had a vague idea of what might be happening there, but I decided that I was now finished with the sword for the time being. I resolved to find another way to spend my remaining time at the academy, away from the relentless pursuit of victory.
As the tournament finally came to an end, marking the conclusion of my second year at the academy, I prepared to head home for summer vacation. When I was about to leave my dorm, I heard a knock from the other side of the door. I inquired, "Who is it? "There was a pause before the person on the other side responded, "It's me, Elara."
I raised an eyebrow, a hint of surprise in my voice. "Why have you come here, princess? "
Elara hesitated before answering, her voice slightly nervous. "I just wanted to tell you something."
I stood before the door, intrigued. "What is it? "
She took a deep breath before continuing, "Remember yesterday when we talked? I'm still upset about what you did, but I also realised it's not entirely my place to judge you. So, I just wanted to apologise."
I considered her words for a moment. "There's no need for that."
Elara sounded puzzled. "But..."
I interrupted her, a faint smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "And also, congratulations for getting first place."
Her surprise was evident in her voice. "How did you know? "
"It's quite obvious when a sudden commotion happened in the arena right after you walked away," I replied with a playful tone, appreciating her efforts to mend our interaction.
"So, what are you going to do now? "Elara inquired.
I leaned against the door frame.
Looking thoughtful. "I'm going to put my sword down for now and look for something more interesting."
Elara's voice rose in surprise. "What do you mean? You're going to give up swordsmanship? "
I shook my head. "I didn't say that. I'm just going to pick up another weapon and hone my skills with it. People like you will overpower me given enough time, so I need to learn more skills rather than focusing on something I can't possibly advance much further in."
Elara is still not fully understanding my reasoning. "What are you talking about? Your swordsmanship is amazing."
I let out a small, bitter chuckle. "You wouldn't understand, princess. You should go now; I'm still quite busy."
Elara hesitated, clearly wanting to say more. "B-but... Never mind, then. But I promise you, I'll definitely defeat you next time."
I smirked, my tone teasing. "Hah... Of course you will, because I'm..." I didn't finish my sentence, instead urging her to leave. "Just go already, dammit. I'm busy! "
After I said my farewells to the academy and embarked on a journey, nearly a month passed before I finally arrived at the Cornelia family home. The house stood as a familiar sight, surrounded by lush greenery and an air of tranquility.
As I approached the front door, I was greeted by the family's ward, a kindly old woman who had been with the Cornelia family for years. She smiled warmly at me. "You've returned just in time, Master Neah. Your family is waiting inside, and dinner should be ready."
My father, a stern but caring figure, welcomed me as I stepped into the house. "You must be hungry after your journey. Let's go inside; I'm sure dinner is almost ready."
As we entered the dining room, I could see that some of my siblings and even my mother were not present. It was understandable; they had their own lives and responsibilities. However, most of my siblings were there, seated around the long dining table.
The family engaged in casual conversation during the meal, catching up on the events of the past month. My siblings shared stories of their studies and hobbies, and my two oldest siblings discussed their work and achievements. It was a lively and heartwarming atmosphere.
Midway through the dinner, as everyone was enjoying their meal, Charlotte, the second youngest of the Cornelia siblings, looked at me with a curious and eager expression. She hadn't been able to witness the tournament herself, as she had embarked on an important quest during that time.
"Neah," she inquired, "tell me about your experiences in the tournament. I heard it was quite an event. What was it like? "
Ethan and Evan chimed in almost simultaneously. "Oh, we were there, brother," Ethan began, nodding vigorously. "Indeed, we witnessed your battles," Evan added. "You were amazing."
Ethan continued, "It's true that you didn't quite clinch first place, but that doesn't define your skill or worth as a warrior. Losing is part of any battle, and it's through those experiences that we learn and grow."
Evan nodded in agreement. "Exactly, Neah. Don't let a single setback hold you back. You've made us proud, and we're eager to hear about your journey and experiences."
I couldn't help but smile at my siblings' words. Their unwavering support and understanding filled me with a sense of warmth and reassurance, reminding me of the importance of family and the bonds we shared.
As the conversation continued around the dinner table, I listened to the remarkable achievements of my older siblings with genuine pride on the surface. Alexander, the second oldest, regaled the family with tales of his brave battle against a rampaging dragon in the far western territory of our kingdom. It was an awe-inspiring feat that solidified his reputation as a skilled and fearless mage.
However, it was Serena's achievement that truly left my heart in turmoil. My oldest sister had reached the stage of form-fitted aura, a milestone that hinted at her potential promotion to the prestigious rank of knight king or queen. Her accomplishment was nothing short of extraordinary, and the family's pride in her was evident.
Throughout the remainder of the dinner, I wore a smile on my face, masking my true emotions. Inside, jealousy gnawed at me—an ugly feeling I couldn't quite shake. I knew it wasn't right to feel this way, but the green tendrils of envy coiled around my heart. How could I not compare myself to my accomplished siblings? How could I not wonder if I'd ever reach such heights?
In the midst of our celebration, I found myself grappling with a complex mix of emotions—pride for my siblings' achievements, jealousy of their successes, and a lingering uncertainty about my own path and potential. All I could do was pretend, concealing my inner turmoil behind a carefully crafted facade.
As I continued to listen to my family's stories and achievements, the voice in my head persisted, nagging at me like an unrelenting presence. It reminded me of my true nature, that I was a hallow, and that comparing myself to my gifted siblings was an exercise in futility.
"You should just be proud," the voice taunted. "You know that you are a hallow, so don't even try to compare yourself to your siblings. They are naturally gifted, and you are not. That's the reality."
My thoughts were consumed by a single, defiant word, "Shut up." While I sat at the dinner table, surrounded by my family's tales of valour and achievement, I battled not only the envy within myself but also the ceaseless voice in my head. All I could do was maintain the facade of a proud and supportive family member, even as the turmoil within me threatened to overwhelm my emotions.
As I walked away from the arena, the cheers and the noise of the crowd slowly faded into the distance. I found myself strolling through the familiar corridors of the academy, my steps echoing in the empty halls. My thoughts were a tumultuous sea, and I couldn't help but replay the events of the tournament in my mind.
"What now? "I muttered to myself, my voice barely a whisper. I felt a sense of emptiness, a void where the adrenaline of battle had once surged. The victory should have been fulfilling, but instead, it left me with an unshakable restlessness.
Then, as if in response to my inner turmoil, a voice whispered within my mind. It was my own voice, but it sounded different and distorted, as if a part of me was finally losing its grip on reality.
"You are still weak. Be glad you won."
I knew this to be true, deep down. I was well aware of my limitations, my struggles, and my shortcomings. But the fact that I had emerged victorious against those "talented" nobles still infuriated me.
My footsteps echoed through the corridors as I continued my internal battle of questions and answers.
"Why are they weak? "I questioned, frustration seeping into my thoughts.
"They are not weak, and you are not strong," the voice replied, its tone unwavering, as if it were trying to break through my self-deception. "You just know better how to fight."
I clenched my fists, struggling to accept the truth I was confronted with. "I still lack the fundamentals, and I know I am incredibly weak, but compared to them..."
The voice interrupted, its words cutting through my doubts like a blade. "Don't fool yourself. Given enough time, they will surpass you, and you will be nothing compared to them."
Each answer from the voice was like a harsh dose of reality, a reminder that my current victory was just a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things. It was a bitter pill to swallow, and I found myself trapped in a cycle of self-reflection and self-critique.
As I wrestled with my inner turmoil, another voice, distinct from the one in my head, a voice of woman, intruded upon my thoughts. "Are you feeling unwell or injured? Why did you forfeit? "I inquired.
I stopped in my tracks, muttering, "I just had enough, and there's no point if I just win against someone who can't defend themselves."
Suddenly, the echo of approaching footsteps reached my ears. Before I could react, someone pushed me from behind, causing me to stumble. I turned to find Elara, her body still wrapped in bandages, her eyes fixed upon me.
"You! ," she exclaimed, her tone a mix of frustration and disappointment. "You could have been the winner if you just fought! Do you realise that? "
I hesitated, caught off guard by her words. I didn't have an immediate response; my internal turmoil conflicted with Elara's conviction.
"She is right. How can you just give up when you can just go ahead and win? "The voice uttered
"You had the chance, and you just defeated me for what? Just to forfeit? ," she continued, her voice softening slightly. "If I were in that position, I would fight like it was the last. I..."
Our eyes met, and I could see the fire of determination still burning within her despite her injuries. I remained silent, unable to find the right words to explain my actions.
Elara sighed, her disappointment palpable. "Well, it's your choice, Neah. But remember, in the end, it's the battles we fight that define us." With those parting words, she turned and walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts once more.
As I stood up, I heard a commotion in the arena, as if another battle had started. I had a vague idea of what might be happening there, but I decided that I was now finished with the sword for the time being. I resolved to find another way to spend my remaining time at the academy, away from the relentless pursuit of victory.
As the tournament finally came to an end, marking the conclusion of my second year at the academy, I prepared to head home for summer vacation. When I was about to leave my dorm, I heard a knock from the other side of the door. I inquired, "Who is it? "There was a pause before the person on the other side responded, "It's me, Elara."
I raised an eyebrow, a hint of surprise in my voice. "Why have you come here, princess? "
Elara hesitated before answering, her voice slightly nervous. "I just wanted to tell you something."
I stood before the door, intrigued. "What is it? "
She took a deep breath before continuing, "Remember yesterday when we talked? I'm still upset about what you did, but I also realised it's not entirely my place to judge you. So, I just wanted to apologise."
I considered her words for a moment. "There's no need for that."
Elara sounded puzzled. "But..."
I interrupted her, a faint smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "And also, congratulations for getting first place."
Her surprise was evident in her voice. "How did you know? "
"It's quite obvious when a sudden commotion happened in the arena right after you walked away," I replied with a playful tone, appreciating her efforts to mend our interaction.
"So, what are you going to do now? "Elara inquired.
I leaned against the door frame.
Looking thoughtful. "I'm going to put my sword down for now and look for something more interesting."
Elara's voice rose in surprise. "What do you mean? You're going to give up swordsmanship? "
I shook my head. "I didn't say that. I'm just going to pick up another weapon and hone my skills with it. People like you will overpower me given enough time, so I need to learn more skills rather than focusing on something I can't possibly advance much further in."
Elara is still not fully understanding my reasoning. "What are you talking about? Your swordsmanship is amazing."
I let out a small, bitter chuckle. "You wouldn't understand, princess. You should go now; I'm still quite busy."
Elara hesitated, clearly wanting to say more. "B-but... Never mind, then. But I promise you, I'll definitely defeat you next time."
I smirked, my tone teasing. "Hah... Of course you will, because I'm..." I didn't finish my sentence, instead urging her to leave. "Just go already, dammit. I'm busy! "
After I said my farewells to the academy and embarked on a journey, nearly a month passed before I finally arrived at the Cornelia family home. The house stood as a familiar sight, surrounded by lush greenery and an air of tranquility.
As I approached the front door, I was greeted by the family's ward, a kindly old woman who had been with the Cornelia family for years. She smiled warmly at me. "You've returned just in time, Master Neah. Your family is waiting inside, and dinner should be ready."
My father, a stern but caring figure, welcomed me as I stepped into the house. "You must be hungry after your journey. Let's go inside; I'm sure dinner is almost ready."
As we entered the dining room, I could see that some of my siblings and even my mother were not present. It was understandable; they had their own lives and responsibilities. However, most of my siblings were there, seated around the long dining table.
The family engaged in casual conversation during the meal, catching up on the events of the past month. My siblings shared stories of their studies and hobbies, and my two oldest siblings discussed their work and achievements. It was a lively and heartwarming atmosphere.
Midway through the dinner, as everyone was enjoying their meal, Charlotte, the second youngest of the Cornelia siblings, looked at me with a curious and eager expression. She hadn't been able to witness the tournament herself, as she had embarked on an important quest during that time.
"Neah," she inquired, "tell me about your experiences in the tournament. I heard it was quite an event. What was it like? "
Ethan and Evan chimed in almost simultaneously. "Oh, we were there, brother," Ethan began, nodding vigorously. "Indeed, we witnessed your battles," Evan added. "You were amazing."
Ethan continued, "It's true that you didn't quite clinch first place, but that doesn't define your skill or worth as a warrior. Losing is part of any battle, and it's through those experiences that we learn and grow."
Evan nodded in agreement. "Exactly, Neah. Don't let a single setback hold you back. You've made us proud, and we're eager to hear about your journey and experiences."
I couldn't help but smile at my siblings' words. Their unwavering support and understanding filled me with a sense of warmth and reassurance, reminding me of the importance of family and the bonds we shared.
As the conversation continued around the dinner table, I listened to the remarkable achievements of my older siblings with genuine pride on the surface. Alexander, the second oldest, regaled the family with tales of his brave battle against a rampaging dragon in the far western territory of our kingdom. It was an awe-inspiring feat that solidified his reputation as a skilled and fearless mage.
However, it was Serena's achievement that truly left my heart in turmoil. My oldest sister had reached the stage of form-fitted aura, a milestone that hinted at her potential promotion to the prestigious rank of knight king or queen. Her accomplishment was nothing short of extraordinary, and the family's pride in her was evident.
Throughout the remainder of the dinner, I wore a smile on my face, masking my true emotions. Inside, jealousy gnawed at me—an ugly feeling I couldn't quite shake. I knew it wasn't right to feel this way, but the green tendrils of envy coiled around my heart. How could I not compare myself to my accomplished siblings? How could I not wonder if I'd ever reach such heights?
In the midst of our celebration, I found myself grappling with a complex mix of emotions—pride for my siblings' achievements, jealousy of their successes, and a lingering uncertainty about my own path and potential. All I could do was pretend, concealing my inner turmoil behind a carefully crafted facade.
As I continued to listen to my family's stories and achievements, the voice in my head persisted, nagging at me like an unrelenting presence. It reminded me of my true nature, that I was a hallow, and that comparing myself to my gifted siblings was an exercise in futility.
"You should just be proud," the voice taunted. "You know that you are a hallow, so don't even try to compare yourself to your siblings. They are naturally gifted, and you are not. That's the reality."
My thoughts were consumed by a single, defiant word, "Shut up." While I sat at the dinner table, surrounded by my family's tales of valour and achievement, I battled not only the envy within myself but also the ceaseless voice in my head. All I could do was maintain the facade of a proud and supportive family member, even as the turmoil within me threatened to overwhelm my emotions.
