Where the FUCK is my mascara?
Dani had checked every place on, under, and around her desk with no sign of her crucial makeup item. They were set to leave for Amy’s party in ten minutes and she still hadn’t gotten into her costume.
The past few minutes she had tried and failed to keep her cool.
My makeup is missing, I have no clue how I’m gonna put my toga on without Ryan seeing me in my underwear, I’ve had a stomach ache all day, and we have to leave any second now.
It took all she had to not scream into a pillow. Her eyes had started welling up with frustrated tears, making everything all the more difficult.
She knew if she didn’t stop and calm down, an eruption was bound to happen. Her last angry outburst over something this trivial was years ago. One of her brothers had ruined an old toy of hers. An honest mistake, he was just a kid, yet it set her off all the same.
With so much time since the last incident, she naively assumed that her emotions had been conquered. Maybe they had been. Though now, with a brand new set of hormones flowing through her and changing her inside and out, she supposed some re-learning was in order.
She plopped down onto her bed and grabbed one of her pillows. While giving it as tight a squeeze as she could manage, her methods came back to her.
Think about what you can control. I could have kept my room tidier so this doesn’t happen again. I could have a makeup bag so everything is in one place and easier to track! But I would probably just lose that too. God I’m such a-
Dani let out a sharp exhale.
No. I need to think about what I can do now, in the moment. I can ask Ryan to stop at a drug store, then I could get some cheap mascara and throw it on quickly. There’s one on the way there. I can try to get in my toga by myself, or wear shorts while Ryan helps me put it on, then just take them off after. Yeah, that’s good.
It didn’t make her happy, but it calmed her down. With the tension and stress dissolved, she slipped into some basketball shorts and headed to get Ryan with her bed sheet.
She found him in the kitchen, clad in his makeshift toga and crown. Dani couldn’t help but steal short a glance at his calves. They were on display often enough at the gym, though the costume was adding a lot.
We should go to more costume parties.
His sneakers did somewhat ruin the illusion, though she laughed at the realization they were Nike.
I guess that counts as Roman-enough!
Ryan was in the middle of downing a shot when Dani entered the room. She used the distraction to dart her eyes back up. As confident as she had been getting with her sexuality, having Ryan tease her about ogling him was something to be avoided.
“Are you not driving us there?” Dani asked.
Ryan swallowed his mouthful of liquor and slammed his glass on the counter. “Nah, figured we would just get an Uber.” He poured another shot and held it out for Dani. “You don’t wanna drive either, right?”
Dani accepted the glass and stared at it.
It would be nice to not pay for an Uber. Though, then we’d have to go home at the same time, and Ryan never wants to leave a party early. But! If I leave early, who knows what he would do! What if he finds some random girl to hook up with and–
Oh fuck it, there’s no way I can handle this night sober.
She gulped down the liquid as fast as she could. Still, it left a repugnant taste in her mouth.
“Ugh,” Dani scrunched up her face. “What the hell is that?”
“It’s some pumpkin moonshine I bought from a friend,” Ryan said. “Super cheap, great deal.”
“Well it’s awful.” Dani filled a new glass in the sink. “It tastes like vomit.”
Ryan acted offended. “I suppose it’s more of an acquired taste.”
“Please tell me you haven’t acquired a taste for vomit,” Dani said between taking swigs of water.
“I take it you don’t want any more?” Ryan put the bottle on top of the fridge.
“Yeah, I’ll drink more at the party.” As soon as she spoke, she remembered the whole reason she came to the kitchen. “Oh! And I guess you should help me get into my toga.” She presented him with her sheet.
“Right!” He accepted her offering and positioned himself behind her. “If you could just hold your arms out for me.”
She did as he said, trying to contain her excitement.
He’s so close to me.
As he wrapped the sheet over her shoulder and around her torso, Dani felt his breath on her neck. It took every bit of willpower she could muster to not let out a squeak, though she still shivered.
“You cold?” Ryan asked.
“Um, yeah! Little bit…” Dani lied.
With Ryan almost finished, she wondered if she could get close and sniff his neck without him noticing.
When did I become such a pervert? I need to be dunked in cold water immediately.
“By the way,” Dani spoke up to interrupt her thoughts of being a creep. “Could we make a quick stop on the way to the party? I know we’re Ubering but I sorta lost my mascara.”
Ryan let out a small groan as he put the finishing touches on Dani’s toga. “Yeah, I guess that’s no big deal. Little pricier though.”
“I can cover the extra!” Dani worried she had annoyed him.
From her spot in the kitchen, she saw Simon pop up from the couch.
Was he there the whole time? Why didn’t he speak?
“You left a bunch of stuff on the bathroom counter,” Simon said as he got to his feet. “Is any of that what you’re looking for?”
“Oh my god…” Dani remembered moving most of her makeup to the bathroom in a haze when she woke up. Her stupid half-asleep state almost cost her two days worth of The Mug tips.
“Don’t scare us like that!” Ryan laughed. “I didn’t even realize you were in here, dude.”
“My bad,” Simon said. “Feeling a little sick I think. Not super chatty. Downside to working with kids, can’t avoid their germs.”
“Ah, well let’s hope it doesn’t get either of us,” Ryan said as he gave Dani’s toga one final tug. “There, you’re all good!” He took a step back and seemed to be admiring his folding skills. Then he frowned. “Your shorts are still visible at the bottom.”
Dani looked down to confirm. “Well I’ll go take them off. You said it’s normal to just wear underwear with these, right?”
“Totally! That’s what me and my buddies always did.” Ryan leaned back on the counter.
“Then I’ll go take care of that and finish my makeup,” Dani said. She rushed out of the kitchen, past Simon, and into the bathroom.
Sure enough, her mascara tube was right where she left it, along with the rest of her makeup.
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught her reflection in the mirror.
Oh wow.
The way the sheet draped over her shoulders made them look slimmer than she remembered. The way it hugged her torso, making her waist look narrow and even accentuating her breast. She couldn’t recall a time she had felt as pleased with herself. A time she felt dainty and light and able to move through life with grace.
We definitely need to go to more costume parties. The Greeks were on to something. Er, the Romans. I’m catching Ryan’s himbo disease.
And all that confidence before she even put on makeup. Dani’s original plan was to just throw on a tiny bit of mascara. It would make her feel a little better, while not being so extreme as to garner questions.
Now as she looked at herself starting to see the real Danielle, bigger ideas crept in. She grabbed her concealer and got to work.
***
Simon was back on the couch. Dani and Ryan were getting ready to leave for some dumb Halloween party and he wanted to stay out of their way. Though Dani already seemed to be avoiding him lately.
I don’t blame her, after what I said. Simon thought as he scrolled through meaningless social media posts to distract himself. Why did I tell her I liked her? I don’t even know if that’s true…
A banging on the bathroom door.
“Hey! I ordered the Uber, so we have to leave soon!” It was Ryan trying to get Dani’s attention.
She had been in the bathroom for the past few minutes after locating her makeup. Simon was happy he helped her find her missing stuff. Maybe it was the first step to mending their friendship.
Whatever. She’s clearly happier doing whatever she’s doing with Ryan. The second we stopped talking she starts getting more confident, full of life. Maybe this friendship has reached its conclusion.
He didn’t want that to be the case. What he wanted was for everything to go back.
Before he had stupidly confessed to Dani. Before she and Ryan kissed.
Before he had wasted months dating Rachel. Before he had even agreed to date her.
Before they all moved in together and all his problems started popping up. Before…
He knew it was an awful thought. Seeing Dani grow as a person, come out of her shell, open up to the world. That part he liked. Having his friend be happy was good! Duh!
But a twisted part of him wanted their old friendship back, no matter the cost.
I really am just an evil person, huh. Have I done anything at all that hasn’t hurt people?
“We really need to go!” Ryan shouted again. He walked over to the couch and leaned over it, getting a full view of the miserable pile of filth that went by the name ‘Simon.’ “You do look pretty messed up. I kinda thought you were lying to avoid bumping into Rachel.”
Simon just nodded. In truth, he had made up his sickness. And while Ryan’s guess wasn’t the full reason, Rachel was part of it. The other being that drinking meant Dani and Ryan might get more flirty with each other, like during the blackout. Now that he knew, they might not hold anything back. Not what he wanted to see.
“Alright well,” Ryan walked over to the front door. “When Dani comes out, can you let her know I’m outside stalling the Uber? They don’t wait forever.”
“Sure thing,” Simon managed to say.
Ryan left, leaving Simon alone to wallow in his self-hate again. At the very least, the interaction got him off his spiraling train of thought. Ryan was always good at that.
Before he could completely re-convince himself of his worthlessness, Dani walked in.
She was all dressed up to match with Ryan, a fact that Simon was doing his best to not think about. He wasn’t sure if he really liked Dani or had just gotten lots of feelings confused. Still, the thought of her and Ryan together? It felt wrong.
She was by the door, sliding into her sneakers that completely clashed with the whole ‘Roman aesthetic’ they were aiming for. He couldn’t see her face but it was a safe bet that she had makeup on. Simon had heard from Ryan that she was wearing it more often, though he had never seen it himself.
“Thank you, by the way.” Dani said.
“Huh?” Simon hadn’t expected her to speak to him. The last few weeks they had treated each other like strangers.
“For letting me know about my makeup. I can be… disorganized sometimes.” She laughed.
“Oh, right.” Simon responded. “I just remembered seeing them earlier and… Said it.”
Dani laughed again and turned to face him. “Well you saved me some money and stress.”
Simon didn’t know what to say. He wanted to take the opportunity to apologize for what he said the night of the blackout. To beg for things to go back to normal between them.
Maybe he could have if she wasn’t wearing makeup.
He was never one to get caught off-guard by a beautiful woman, but the shock of seeing someone he had known for so long, a face he had memorized in the deepest parts of his mind, threw him. It was still her face. Dani was still there, just… Highlighted?
The cute pudge of her cheeks was a little warmer. Her eyes shining a little brighter. Even her skin looked filled with new life.
He wondered why he never noticed details like that with Rachel.
As she opened the door to leave, Simon stood up without thinking.
“Wait,” he shouted, perhaps louder than intended.
Dani froze and turned back, giving him a confused glance.
Simon didn’t want to keep putting off big decisions. He spent the whole summer leading on a girl who he genuinely wanted to be happy. He had already spent a few weeks moping instead of doing what he needed to.
Halloween. The day he would vow to do things faster. No, that wasn’t quite it. The day he would never procrastinate again? He was so close.
Halloween. The day Simon would start doing everything he could to be a good person.
Simple enough. Now he just had to follow through.
Where the FUCK is my mascara?
Dani had checked every place on, under, and around her desk with no sign of her crucial makeup item. They were set to leave for Amy’s party in ten minutes and she still hadn’t gotten into her costume.
The past few minutes she had tried and failed to keep her cool.
My makeup is missing, I have no clue how I’m gonna put my toga on without Ryan seeing me in my underwear, I’ve had a stomach ache all day, and we have to leave any second now.
It took all she had to not scream into a pillow. Her eyes had started welling up with frustrated tears, making everything all the more difficult.
She knew if she didn’t stop and calm down, an eruption was bound to happen. Her last angry outburst over something this trivial was years ago. One of her brothers had ruined an old toy of hers. An honest mistake, he was just a kid, yet it set her off all the same.
With so much time since the last incident, she naively assumed that her emotions had been conquered. Maybe they had been. Though now, with a brand new set of hormones flowing through her and changing her inside and out, she supposed some re-learning was in order.
She plopped down onto her bed and grabbed one of her pillows. While giving it as tight a squeeze as she could manage, her methods came back to her.
Think about what you can control. I could have kept my room tidier so this doesn’t happen again. I could have a makeup bag so everything is in one place and easier to track! But I would probably just lose that too. God I’m such a-
Dani let out a sharp exhale.
No. I need to think about what I can do now, in the moment. I can ask Ryan to stop at a drug store, then I could get some cheap mascara and throw it on quickly. There’s one on the way there. I can try to get in my toga by myself, or wear shorts while Ryan helps me put it on, then just take them off after. Yeah, that’s good.
It didn’t make her happy, but it calmed her down. With the tension and stress dissolved, she slipped into some basketball shorts and headed to get Ryan with her bed sheet.
She found him in the kitchen, clad in his makeshift toga and crown. Dani couldn’t help but steal short a glance at his calves. They were on display often enough at the gym, though the costume was adding a lot.
We should go to more costume parties.
His sneakers did somewhat ruin the illusion, though she laughed at the realization they were Nike.
I guess that counts as Roman-enough!
Ryan was in the middle of downing a shot when Dani entered the room. She used the distraction to dart her eyes back up. As confident as she had been getting with her sexuality, having Ryan tease her about ogling him was something to be avoided.
“Are you not driving us there?” Dani asked.
Ryan swallowed his mouthful of liquor and slammed his glass on the counter. “Nah, figured we would just get an Uber.” He poured another shot and held it out for Dani. “You don’t wanna drive either, right?”
Dani accepted the glass and stared at it.
It would be nice to not pay for an Uber. Though, then we’d have to go home at the same time, and Ryan never wants to leave a party early. But! If I leave early, who knows what he would do! What if he finds some random girl to hook up with and–
Oh fuck it, there’s no way I can handle this night sober.
She gulped down the liquid as fast as she could. Still, it left a repugnant taste in her mouth.
“Ugh,” Dani scrunched up her face. “What the hell is that?”
“It’s some pumpkin moonshine I bought from a friend,” Ryan said. “Super cheap, great deal.”
“Well it’s awful.” Dani filled a new glass in the sink. “It tastes like vomit.”
Ryan acted offended. “I suppose it’s more of an acquired taste.”
“Please tell me you haven’t acquired a taste for vomit,” Dani said between taking swigs of water.
“I take it you don’t want any more?” Ryan put the bottle on top of the fridge.
“Yeah, I’ll drink more at the party.” As soon as she spoke, she remembered the whole reason she came to the kitchen. “Oh! And I guess you should help me get into my toga.” She presented him with her sheet.
“Right!” He accepted her offering and positioned himself behind her. “If you could just hold your arms out for me.”
She did as he said, trying to contain her excitement.
He’s so close to me.
As he wrapped the sheet over her shoulder and around her torso, Dani felt his breath on her neck. It took every bit of willpower she could muster to not let out a squeak, though she still shivered.
“You cold?” Ryan asked.
“Um, yeah! Little bit…” Dani lied.
With Ryan almost finished, she wondered if she could get close and sniff his neck without him noticing.
When did I become such a pervert? I need to be dunked in cold water immediately.
“By the way,” Dani spoke up to interrupt her thoughts of being a creep. “Could we make a quick stop on the way to the party? I know we’re Ubering but I sorta lost my mascara.”
Ryan let out a small groan as he put the finishing touches on Dani’s toga. “Yeah, I guess that’s no big deal. Little pricier though.”
“I can cover the extra!” Dani worried she had annoyed him.
From her spot in the kitchen, she saw Simon pop up from the couch.
Was he there the whole time? Why didn’t he speak?
“You left a bunch of stuff on the bathroom counter,” Simon said as he got to his feet. “Is any of that what you’re looking for?”
“Oh my god…” Dani remembered moving most of her makeup to the bathroom in a haze when she woke up. Her stupid half-asleep state almost cost her two days worth of The Mug tips.
“Don’t scare us like that!” Ryan laughed. “I didn’t even realize you were in here, dude.”
“My bad,” Simon said. “Feeling a little sick I think. Not super chatty. Downside to working with kids, can’t avoid their germs.”
“Ah, well let’s hope it doesn’t get either of us,” Ryan said as he gave Dani’s toga one final tug. “There, you’re all good!” He took a step back and seemed to be admiring his folding skills. Then he frowned. “Your shorts are still visible at the bottom.”
Dani looked down to confirm. “Well I’ll go take them off. You said it’s normal to just wear underwear with these, right?”
“Totally! That’s what me and my buddies always did.” Ryan leaned back on the counter.
“Then I’ll go take care of that and finish my makeup,” Dani said. She rushed out of the kitchen, past Simon, and into the bathroom.
Sure enough, her mascara tube was right where she left it, along with the rest of her makeup.
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught her reflection in the mirror.
Oh wow.
The way the sheet draped over her shoulders made them look slimmer than she remembered. The way it hugged her torso, making her waist look narrow and even accentuating her breast. She couldn’t recall a time she had felt as pleased with herself. A time she felt dainty and light and able to move through life with grace.
We definitely need to go to more costume parties. The Greeks were on to something. Er, the Romans. I’m catching Ryan’s himbo disease.
And all that confidence before she even put on makeup. Dani’s original plan was to just throw on a tiny bit of mascara. It would make her feel a little better, while not being so extreme as to garner questions.
Now as she looked at herself starting to see the real Danielle, bigger ideas crept in. She grabbed her concealer and got to work.
***
Simon was back on the couch. Dani and Ryan were getting ready to leave for some dumb Halloween party and he wanted to stay out of their way. Though Dani already seemed to be avoiding him lately.
I don’t blame her, after what I said. Simon thought as he scrolled through meaningless social media posts to distract himself. Why did I tell her I liked her? I don’t even know if that’s true…
A banging on the bathroom door.
“Hey! I ordered the Uber, so we have to leave soon!” It was Ryan trying to get Dani’s attention.
She had been in the bathroom for the past few minutes after locating her makeup. Simon was happy he helped her find her missing stuff. Maybe it was the first step to mending their friendship.
Whatever. She’s clearly happier doing whatever she’s doing with Ryan. The second we stopped talking she starts getting more confident, full of life. Maybe this friendship has reached its conclusion.
He didn’t want that to be the case. What he wanted was for everything to go back.
Before he had stupidly confessed to Dani. Before she and Ryan kissed.
Before he had wasted months dating Rachel. Before he had even agreed to date her.
Before they all moved in together and all his problems started popping up. Before…
He knew it was an awful thought. Seeing Dani grow as a person, come out of her shell, open up to the world. That part he liked. Having his friend be happy was good! Duh!
But a twisted part of him wanted their old friendship back, no matter the cost.
I really am just an evil person, huh. Have I done anything at all that hasn’t hurt people?
“We really need to go!” Ryan shouted again. He walked over to the couch and leaned over it, getting a full view of the miserable pile of filth that went by the name ‘Simon.’ “You do look pretty messed up. I kinda thought you were lying to avoid bumping into Rachel.”
Simon just nodded. In truth, he had made up his sickness. And while Ryan’s guess wasn’t the full reason, Rachel was part of it. The other being that drinking meant Dani and Ryan might get more flirty with each other, like during the blackout. Now that he knew, they might not hold anything back. Not what he wanted to see.
“Alright well,” Ryan walked over to the front door. “When Dani comes out, can you let her know I’m outside stalling the Uber? They don’t wait forever.”
“Sure thing,” Simon managed to say.
Ryan left, leaving Simon alone to wallow in his self-hate again. At the very least, the interaction got him off his spiraling train of thought. Ryan was always good at that.
Before he could completely re-convince himself of his worthlessness, Dani walked in.
She was all dressed up to match with Ryan, a fact that Simon was doing his best to not think about. He wasn’t sure if he really liked Dani or had just gotten lots of feelings confused. Still, the thought of her and Ryan together? It felt wrong.
She was by the door, sliding into her sneakers that completely clashed with the whole ‘Roman aesthetic’ they were aiming for. He couldn’t see her face but it was a safe bet that she had makeup on. Simon had heard from Ryan that she was wearing it more often, though he had never seen it himself.
“Thank you, by the way.” Dani said.
“Huh?” Simon hadn’t expected her to speak to him. The last few weeks they had treated each other like strangers.
“For letting me know about my makeup. I can be… disorganized sometimes.” She laughed.
“Oh, right.” Simon responded. “I just remembered seeing them earlier and… Said it.”
Dani laughed again and turned to face him. “Well you saved me some money and stress.”
Simon didn’t know what to say. He wanted to take the opportunity to apologize for what he said the night of the blackout. To beg for things to go back to normal between them.
Maybe he could have if she wasn’t wearing makeup.
He was never one to get caught off-guard by a beautiful woman, but the shock of seeing someone he had known for so long, a face he had memorized in the deepest parts of his mind, threw him. It was still her face. Dani was still there, just… Highlighted?
The cute pudge of her cheeks was a little warmer. Her eyes shining a little brighter. Even her skin looked filled with new life.
He wondered why he never noticed details like that with Rachel.
As she opened the door to leave, Simon stood up without thinking.
“Wait,” he shouted, perhaps louder than intended.
Dani froze and turned back, giving him a confused glance.
Simon didn’t want to keep putting off big decisions. He spent the whole summer leading on a girl who he genuinely wanted to be happy. He had already spent a few weeks moping instead of doing what he needed to.
Halloween. The day he would vow to do things faster. No, that wasn’t quite it. The day he would never procrastinate again? He was so close.
Halloween. The day Simon would start doing everything he could to be a good person.
Simple enough. Now he just had to follow through.
