Chapter 308
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Chapter 308
Lounging in a recliner on my borrowed pleasure boat, I watch with undisguised glee as the Canston Trading Groups merchant house crumbles around Ping Ping. Sadly, my satisfaction dissipates upon seeing how distraught she is over my mean-spirited ploy, doing everything she can to return to my side. Despite my five minute head start, Ping Ping easily catches up while showing none of her customary courtesy to the other pleasure boats and cargo ships in her way. Displacing a massive amount of water with her ponderous bulk, her passing sends towering waves crashing in her wake, almost capsizing a handful of nearby ships. Sheepishly pretending not to notice their plight, I get up and lean over the ships railing as my needy stalker headbutts the boat in a fit of pique. Rearing up to meet my strained smiled, I reach out to pat her nose. Hello there, I croon as she stretches for a closer look. Were you worried? Sorry about that, but I forgot-
The world goes dark for an instant, then reality resumes. Blinking to clear my head, I gasp to fill my lungs while my chest burns in fiery agony, finding the world has rearranged itself around me. No longer leaning over the rails, I find myself laid out flat on my back, soaking wet and staring up at the empty sky. Unfamiliar faces peer and whisper from behind Mafus fat, floofy head, the concerned quin chittering as he checks if Im still alive. I am, but Im not sure if I want to be considering I just got smacked the fuck down in public by a spitting turtle. Hugging Mafu out of reflex and a need for comfort, I finally draw a pained breath with a guttural groan. Drenched in turtle saliva and likely suffering from a mild concussion, I lay in place and cry a little, using Mafus thick, warm fur to hide my tears.
Hello, Mother? Its Rain. Your pet turtle is an abusive bully. Please send help.
Wordlessly sending the crew away, I huddle beneath Mafus warm belly and wait for the crippling pain in my chest to subside. Still infuriated by my actions, Ping Ping headbutts the boat every now and then to world-shaking results, but since no one is screaming or running around in panic, I assume shes being careful not to break anything. Thats one reason I was so comfortable using her as my weapon of mass destruction, her strange reluctance to harm anything she doesnt consider food. Shes such a polite, well-mannered giant turtle, Im 95% sure she wouldnt trample anyone to death, not on purpose at least. Plus, the merchant house is still mostly standing, albeit with a gaping, giant-turtle-sized hole in the middle of it, so Im confident Ping Ping caused zero casualties in her frenzied rampage.
Hmph. Through Mafus thick fur, I can make out Guan Suos worn shoes standing on deck. You still breathing boy? Still unable to speak, I extend my hand and give him an okay sign, only to belatedly remember it doesnt translate. It still gets the point across, and Guan Suo says, Cant say I feel sorry for you. Try that again and Ill do worse, you hear me?
Flashing him the middle finger, this time I pray it gets lost in translation. Truth be told, I didnt expect my impulsive plan to accomplish as much as it did. I figured Ping Ping might trample a few walls in her rush to get to the river, but I guess she isnt as smart as I gave her credit for. Then again, she was incredibly distressed over my escape, so I suppose she took the most direct route to reach the water. I mean, she couldve gone down the street and looped around the merchant house, but I guess she didn't want to because it would have brought her even further away.
Note to self: rational thought and panicked dinosaurs do not go hand in hand.
Finally able to breath freely, I roll Mafu aside and peer down my tattered shirt. While I gawk at the damage done, Guan Suo whistles in admiration. Red and swelling, the fist-sized impact site will soon turn purple and ugly if I dont do something about it, but with my head still spinning, Ill need an hour or two before Im clear-headed enough to Heal. I probably cracked my skull on the deck when Ping Ping sent me flying. Concussions are serious business, though I guess I deserve it. Not just for being a jerk to the overly attached turtle, but also for being an asshole in general.
Logically, I understand that the piggies back there were not the same piggies who tormented me six years ago. Theyre much better looking than their siblings who tormented me, lacking all the pockmarks and ugly, flabby cheeks, but once I saw those curled, brown ears and bristly, black mohawks my world went red with rage. The unpalatable food, the dirty water, the backbreaking labour, and humiliating torment, its all still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday. Drowning in my memories, all I could focus on was how helpless and vulnerable Id been back then. Though Id intended to treat the Canston Trading Group only a little worse than the other merchant groups, once I saw those bristleboar guards I felt compelled to prove to myself that Im no longer that same powerless slave, that Id changed.
So I tricked Ping Ping into wrecking shit and now Im paying the price.
Worth it? Depends. If this is the end of it all, then I guess? If not...
The boat shudders beneath me and I return to reality. Having lost patience with my antics, Ping Pings headbutts have increased in both rate and intensity, as if demanding I show myself and explain my actions. With a miserable, muted whimper, I crawl back to the ships railing and slowly peer over the lip, finding myself eye to eye with the irate turtle. Please dont spit again, I plead, wincing as she opens her mouth. Oh god Im gonna be sick. After vomiting my breakfast into the water, I wipe my chin and mutter, Im sorry okay? My mistake, it wont happen again.
Smacking the ship with her beak, the boat violently lurches from side to side and I lose my tentative grip on the railing. Rolling back and forth across the deck, I finally come to a crashing halt against the siding, upside down and in perfect position to see Guan Suo standing at ease. I blame the Emperor for all this. If he didnt order me to come to Nan Ping, Id be nice and safe in my yurt at the Wall, free from the oppression of this terrible terrapin tyrant.
Once my borrowed boat comes to a shuddering halt, Ping Pings violent, yet reasonable tantrum also ends. Submerging most of her head in the water, she leaves only her eyes and nostrils out while she lurks and pouts, an impressive feat for someone who doesnt have lips. After making sure the crew are all still on board, I ask the captain to find a place to dock which will also allow Ping Ping to get back onto the streets with minimal damage, though I fear the borrowed boat might not survive the return journey. Spotting my retinue, I ignore their stifled laughter and yell out orders, telling them where to meet me and to send a squad to pick up Lin and a change of clothes. I need to find a tailor and have new outfits made, at the rate Im going through them Ill be dressed in rags by the end of the week.
Somehow, I find myself standing in front of my smiling sister, with Ping Ping hot on my heels. Ruthlessly pinching my cheek, Alsantset Sends, Do not worry little brother. Should the sky fall, there will be others to bear it.
Thank you, I reply, unable to focus enough to Send. Sorry.
Ignoring the muted smiles and staring eyes from the crowd around us, I tell myself its irrational to think everyone already heard about me getting beat the fuck down by a turtle. Theyre all staring because Ping Ping is a rare sight. Oh shit, if word of Ping Pings abuse spreads, will the Legate try to appoint a different attendant? If shell willingly follow someone else away, Ill throw a party and celebrate but chances are Ill be demoted from Divine Attendant to turtle bait, forced to obey my replacement. Not fun.
Then again, Im not too worried about being punished for destroying the merchant house. For once, I actually thought things through. Officially, the Divine Turtle is here under her own free will as a sign of the Mothers Blessing, so if Im punished for her actions, it would imply I have control over her and therefore am the reason shes in Nan Ping, which runs counter to the official statement. In these desperate times, the Legate needs to keep morale up and Ping Ping serves this purpose admirably. Turning a blind eye to my actions against a mere merchant company should be a small price to pay. At worst, Ill be reprimanded for not properly guiding Ping Ping and forced to pay for damages or something.
Noted, I reply out loud, immediately regretting my decision to nod. Fucking concussion. Tuck and roll, Rain, tuck and roll. Chin to your chest, dont let your head pendulum back into the ground, it should be instinct by now. Then again, my memory of the whole thing is kinda spotty. Maybe I literally landed on my head. Its possible, Ping Pings spit really packs a wallop. I wonder how much hang time I had? Patting my rumbling belly to quiet it, I ask, Is there any food? Im starving.
Ate most of it. Fed the rest to your pets. Shrugging in a quasi-apology, Guan Suo continues, You slept a long while, missed most of the show. Your sister is finishing up her last match, following a set of impressive victories from Vichear and Gerel.
Turning towards the stage, I make it halfway before stopping on a familiar face, sitting on the balcony of the building beside the duelling stage. Dressed in the tightest tunic Ive ever seen since coming to this world, the colourful silk hugs her skin and reveals curves I dont remember her having. Through the wooden railing, I catch a glimpse of her shapely, slender legs, also snugly wrapped in silk and leaving little to the imagination. Still wearing her hair in a pixie cut, shes grown her bangs out and swept to one side, a marked improvement over the rough, self-styled cut she favoured as a Sentinel, pragmatic, yet stylish. Though filed shorter than I remember and no longer curving back on themselves, her horns are sharper than ever and wrapped in a silver mesh interspersed with glimmering pink diamonds. A hint of eyeliner accentuates her piercing brown eyes and wearing a smidgen of rouge on her lovely pink lips, the sight of her sitting there is enough to make me swoon.
Or maybe its the concussion again. Either way, Adujan looks gorgeous, like a flawless, ivory-skinned, ebony-haired goddess given flesh.
Ah, no, I suppose its Du Min Yan now...
As if sensing my gaze, Yan catches me staring with wide eyes and open mouth, both of which I have little control of at the moment. Flashing the same saucy smile as always, she winks and mouths something before turning away, setting my heart aflutter.
Hmm... I have no idea what she mouthed. I was too distracted by... other thoughts. Maybe I should go up there and ask her. I mean, we havent seen each other in forever so were due for a chat, and still I need to deliver Milas message...
Which makes me oh so sad. 100% chance its to warn Yan away, my freckled beloved is not one to share.
Still... I should say hi. Just a harmless, hey, how you doin sort of thing, bit of catching up between old friends. As I take my first step towards the building, a familiar voice barks, Falling Rain! Freezing in place, I turn to find the unnamed Guard Captain standing next to me, looking all stern and businesslike unlike a few days ago when hed been all smiley and drunk. The Legate commands your presence.
Tch. Horrible timing.
...
Shit. Did I say that out loud?
...
Did I say that out loud?
...
Fucking concussions.
...
Okay, I definitely said that out loud.
Chapter Meme
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Chapter 308
Lounging in a recliner on my borrowed pleasure boat, I watch with undisguised glee as the Canston Trading Groups merchant house crumbles around Ping Ping. Sadly, my satisfaction dissipates upon seeing how distraught she is over my mean-spirited ploy, doing everything she can to return to my side. Despite my five minute head start, Ping Ping easily catches up while showing none of her customary courtesy to the other pleasure boats and cargo ships in her way. Displacing a massive amount of water with her ponderous bulk, her passing sends towering waves crashing in her wake, almost capsizing a handful of nearby ships. Sheepishly pretending not to notice their plight, I get up and lean over the ships railing as my needy stalker headbutts the boat in a fit of pique. Rearing up to meet my strained smiled, I reach out to pat her nose. Hello there, I croon as she stretches for a closer look. Were you worried? Sorry about that, but I forgot-
The world goes dark for an instant, then reality resumes. Blinking to clear my head, I gasp to fill my lungs while my chest burns in fiery agony, finding the world has rearranged itself around me. No longer leaning over the rails, I find myself laid out flat on my back, soaking wet and staring up at the empty sky. Unfamiliar faces peer and whisper from behind Mafus fat, floofy head, the concerned quin chittering as he checks if Im still alive. I am, but Im not sure if I want to be considering I just got smacked the fuck down in public by a spitting turtle. Hugging Mafu out of reflex and a need for comfort, I finally draw a pained breath with a guttural groan. Drenched in turtle saliva and likely suffering from a mild concussion, I lay in place and cry a little, using Mafus thick, warm fur to hide my tears.
Hello, Mother? Its Rain. Your pet turtle is an abusive bully. Please send help.
Wordlessly sending the crew away, I huddle beneath Mafus warm belly and wait for the crippling pain in my chest to subside. Still infuriated by my actions, Ping Ping headbutts the boat every now and then to world-shaking results, but since no one is screaming or running around in panic, I assume shes being careful not to break anything. Thats one reason I was so comfortable using her as my weapon of mass destruction, her strange reluctance to harm anything she doesnt consider food. Shes such a polite, well-mannered giant turtle, Im 95% sure she wouldnt trample anyone to death, not on purpose at least. Plus, the merchant house is still mostly standing, albeit with a gaping, giant-turtle-sized hole in the middle of it, so Im confident Ping Ping caused zero casualties in her frenzied rampage.
Hmph. Through Mafus thick fur, I can make out Guan Suos worn shoes standing on deck. You still breathing boy? Still unable to speak, I extend my hand and give him an okay sign, only to belatedly remember it doesnt translate. It still gets the point across, and Guan Suo says, Cant say I feel sorry for you. Try that again and Ill do worse, you hear me?
Flashing him the middle finger, this time I pray it gets lost in translation. Truth be told, I didnt expect my impulsive plan to accomplish as much as it did. I figured Ping Ping might trample a few walls in her rush to get to the river, but I guess she isnt as smart as I gave her credit for. Then again, she was incredibly distressed over my escape, so I suppose she took the most direct route to reach the water. I mean, she couldve gone down the street and looped around the merchant house, but I guess she didn't want to because it would have brought her even further away.
Note to self: rational thought and panicked dinosaurs do not go hand in hand.
Finally able to breath freely, I roll Mafu aside and peer down my tattered shirt. While I gawk at the damage done, Guan Suo whistles in admiration. Red and swelling, the fist-sized impact site will soon turn purple and ugly if I dont do something about it, but with my head still spinning, Ill need an hour or two before Im clear-headed enough to Heal. I probably cracked my skull on the deck when Ping Ping sent me flying. Concussions are serious business, though I guess I deserve it. Not just for being a jerk to the overly attached turtle, but also for being an asshole in general.
Logically, I understand that the piggies back there were not the same piggies who tormented me six years ago. Theyre much better looking than their siblings who tormented me, lacking all the pockmarks and ugly, flabby cheeks, but once I saw those curled, brown ears and bristly, black mohawks my world went red with rage. The unpalatable food, the dirty water, the backbreaking labour, and humiliating torment, its all still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday. Drowning in my memories, all I could focus on was how helpless and vulnerable Id been back then. Though Id intended to treat the Canston Trading Group only a little worse than the other merchant groups, once I saw those bristleboar guards I felt compelled to prove to myself that Im no longer that same powerless slave, that Id changed.
So I tricked Ping Ping into wrecking shit and now Im paying the price.
Worth it? Depends. If this is the end of it all, then I guess? If not...
The boat shudders beneath me and I return to reality. Having lost patience with my antics, Ping Pings headbutts have increased in both rate and intensity, as if demanding I show myself and explain my actions. With a miserable, muted whimper, I crawl back to the ships railing and slowly peer over the lip, finding myself eye to eye with the irate turtle. Please dont spit again, I plead, wincing as she opens her mouth. Oh god Im gonna be sick. After vomiting my breakfast into the water, I wipe my chin and mutter, Im sorry okay? My mistake, it wont happen again.
Smacking the ship with her beak, the boat violently lurches from side to side and I lose my tentative grip on the railing. Rolling back and forth across the deck, I finally come to a crashing halt against the siding, upside down and in perfect position to see Guan Suo standing at ease. I blame the Emperor for all this. If he didnt order me to come to Nan Ping, Id be nice and safe in my yurt at the Wall, free from the oppression of this terrible terrapin tyrant.
Once my borrowed boat comes to a shuddering halt, Ping Pings violent, yet reasonable tantrum also ends. Submerging most of her head in the water, she leaves only her eyes and nostrils out while she lurks and pouts, an impressive feat for someone who doesnt have lips. After making sure the crew are all still on board, I ask the captain to find a place to dock which will also allow Ping Ping to get back onto the streets with minimal damage, though I fear the borrowed boat might not survive the return journey. Spotting my retinue, I ignore their stifled laughter and yell out orders, telling them where to meet me and to send a squad to pick up Lin and a change of clothes. I need to find a tailor and have new outfits made, at the rate Im going through them Ill be dressed in rags by the end of the week.
Somehow, I find myself standing in front of my smiling sister, with Ping Ping hot on my heels. Ruthlessly pinching my cheek, Alsantset Sends, Do not worry little brother. Should the sky fall, there will be others to bear it.
Thank you, I reply, unable to focus enough to Send. Sorry.
Ignoring the muted smiles and staring eyes from the crowd around us, I tell myself its irrational to think everyone already heard about me getting beat the fuck down by a turtle. Theyre all staring because Ping Ping is a rare sight. Oh shit, if word of Ping Pings abuse spreads, will the Legate try to appoint a different attendant? If shell willingly follow someone else away, Ill throw a party and celebrate but chances are Ill be demoted from Divine Attendant to turtle bait, forced to obey my replacement. Not fun.
Then again, Im not too worried about being punished for destroying the merchant house. For once, I actually thought things through. Officially, the Divine Turtle is here under her own free will as a sign of the Mothers Blessing, so if Im punished for her actions, it would imply I have control over her and therefore am the reason shes in Nan Ping, which runs counter to the official statement. In these desperate times, the Legate needs to keep morale up and Ping Ping serves this purpose admirably. Turning a blind eye to my actions against a mere merchant company should be a small price to pay. At worst, Ill be reprimanded for not properly guiding Ping Ping and forced to pay for damages or something.
Noted, I reply out loud, immediately regretting my decision to nod. Fucking concussion. Tuck and roll, Rain, tuck and roll. Chin to your chest, dont let your head pendulum back into the ground, it should be instinct by now. Then again, my memory of the whole thing is kinda spotty. Maybe I literally landed on my head. Its possible, Ping Pings spit really packs a wallop. I wonder how much hang time I had? Patting my rumbling belly to quiet it, I ask, Is there any food? Im starving.
Ate most of it. Fed the rest to your pets. Shrugging in a quasi-apology, Guan Suo continues, You slept a long while, missed most of the show. Your sister is finishing up her last match, following a set of impressive victories from Vichear and Gerel.
Turning towards the stage, I make it halfway before stopping on a familiar face, sitting on the balcony of the building beside the duelling stage. Dressed in the tightest tunic Ive ever seen since coming to this world, the colourful silk hugs her skin and reveals curves I dont remember her having. Through the wooden railing, I catch a glimpse of her shapely, slender legs, also snugly wrapped in silk and leaving little to the imagination. Still wearing her hair in a pixie cut, shes grown her bangs out and swept to one side, a marked improvement over the rough, self-styled cut she favoured as a Sentinel, pragmatic, yet stylish. Though filed shorter than I remember and no longer curving back on themselves, her horns are sharper than ever and wrapped in a silver mesh interspersed with glimmering pink diamonds. A hint of eyeliner accentuates her piercing brown eyes and wearing a smidgen of rouge on her lovely pink lips, the sight of her sitting there is enough to make me swoon.
Or maybe its the concussion again. Either way, Adujan looks gorgeous, like a flawless, ivory-skinned, ebony-haired goddess given flesh.
Ah, no, I suppose its Du Min Yan now...
As if sensing my gaze, Yan catches me staring with wide eyes and open mouth, both of which I have little control of at the moment. Flashing the same saucy smile as always, she winks and mouths something before turning away, setting my heart aflutter.
Hmm... I have no idea what she mouthed. I was too distracted by... other thoughts. Maybe I should go up there and ask her. I mean, we havent seen each other in forever so were due for a chat, and still I need to deliver Milas message...
Which makes me oh so sad. 100% chance its to warn Yan away, my freckled beloved is not one to share.
Still... I should say hi. Just a harmless, hey, how you doin sort of thing, bit of catching up between old friends. As I take my first step towards the building, a familiar voice barks, Falling Rain! Freezing in place, I turn to find the unnamed Guard Captain standing next to me, looking all stern and businesslike unlike a few days ago when hed been all smiley and drunk. The Legate commands your presence.
Tch. Horrible timing.
...
Shit. Did I say that out loud?
...
Did I say that out loud?
...
Fucking concussions.
...
Okay, I definitely said that out loud.
Chapter Meme
Chapter 308Lounging in a recliner on my borrowed pleasure boat, I watch with undisguised glee as the Canston Trading Groups merchant house crumbles around Ping Ping. Sadly, my satisfaction dissipates upon seeing how distraught she is over my mean-spirited ploy, doing everything she can to return to my side. Despite my five minute head start, Ping Ping easily catches up while showing none of her customary courtesy to the other pleasure boats and cargo ships in her way. Displacing a massive amount of water with her ponderous bulk, her passing sends towering waves crashing in her wake, almost capsizing a handful of nearby ships. Sheepishly pretending not to notice their plight, I get up and lean over the ships railing as my needy stalker headbutts the boat in a fit of pique. Rearing up to meet my strained smiled, I reach out to pat her nose. Hello there, I croon as she stretches for a closer look. Were you worried? Sorry about that, but I forgot-The world goes dark for an instant, then reality resumes. Blinking to clear my head, I gasp to fill my lungs while my chest burns in fiery agony, finding the world has rearranged itself around me. No longer leaning over the rails, I find myself laid out flat on my back, soaking wet and staring up at the empty sky. Unfamiliar faces peer and whisper from behind Mafus fat, floofy head, the concerned quin chittering as he checks if Im still alive. I am, but Im not sure if I want to be considering I just got smacked the fuck down in public by a spitting turtle. Hugging Mafu out of reflex and a need for comfort, I finally draw a pained breath with a guttural groan. Drenched in turtle saliva and likely suffering from a mild concussion, I lay in place and cry a little, using Mafus thick, warm fur to hide my tears.Hello, Mother? Its Rain. Your pet turtle is an abusive bully. Please send help.Wordlessly sending the crew away, I huddle beneath Mafus warm belly and wait for the crippling pain in my chest to subside. Still infuriated by my actions, Ping Ping headbutts the boat every now and then to world-shaking results, but since no one is screaming or running around in panic, I assume shes being careful not to break anything. Thats one reason I was so comfortable using her as my weapon of mass destruction, her strange reluctance to harm anything she doesnt consider food. Shes such a polite, well-mannered giant turtle, Im 95% sure she wouldnt trample anyone to death, not on purpose at least. Plus, the merchant house is still mostly standing, albeit with a gaping, giant-turtle-sized hole in the middle of it, so Im confident Ping Ping caused zero casualties in her frenzied rampage.Hmph. Through Mafus thick fur, I can make out Guan Suos worn shoes standing on deck. You still breathing boy? Still unable to speak, I extend my hand and give him an okay sign, only to belatedly remember it doesnt translate. It still gets the point across, and Guan Suo says, Cant say I feel sorry for you. Try that again and Ill do worse, you hear me?Flashing him the middle finger, this time I pray it gets lost in translation. Truth be told, I didnt expect my impulsive plan to accomplish as much as it did. I figured Ping Ping might trample a few walls in her rush to get to the river, but I guess she isnt as smart as I gave her credit for. Then again, she was incredibly distressed over my escape, so I suppose she took the most direct route to reach the water. I mean, she couldve gone down the street and looped around the merchant house, but I guess she didn't want to because it would have brought her even further away.Note to self: rational thought and panicked dinosaurs do not go hand in hand.Finally able to breath freely, I roll Mafu aside and peer down my tattered shirt. While I gawk at the damage done, Guan Suo whistles in admiration. Red and swelling, the fist-sized impact site will soon turn purple and ugly if I dont do something about it, but with my head still spinning, Ill need an hour or two before Im clear-headed enough to Heal. I probably cracked my skull on the deck when Ping Ping sent me flying. Concussions are serious business, though I guess I deserve it. Not just for being a jerk to the overly attached turtle, but also for being an asshole in general.Logically, I understand that the piggies back there were not the same piggies who tormented me six years ago. Theyre much better looking than their siblings who tormented me, lacking all the pockmarks and ugly, flabby cheeks, but once I saw those curled, brown ears and bristly, black mohawks my world went red with rage. The unpalatable food, the dirty water, the backbreaking labour, and humiliating torment, its all still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday. Drowning in my memories, all I could focus on was how helpless and vulnerable Id been back then. Though Id intended to treat the Canston Trading Group only a little worse than the other merchant groups, once I saw those bristleboar guards I felt compelled to prove to myself that Im no longer that same powerless slave, that Id changed.So I tricked Ping Ping into wrecking shit and now Im paying the price.Worth it? Depends. If this is the end of it all, then I guess? If not...The boat shudders beneath me and I return to reality. Having lost patience with my antics, Ping Pings headbutts have increased in both rate and intensity, as if demanding I show myself and explain my actions. With a miserable, muted whimper, I crawl back to the ships railing and slowly peer over the lip, finding myself eye to eye with the irate turtle. Please dont spit again, I plead, wincing as she opens her mouth. Oh god Im gonna be sick. After vomiting my breakfast into the water, I wipe my chin and mutter, Im sorry okay? My mistake, it wont happen again.Smacking the ship with her beak, the boat violently lurches from side to side and I lose my tentative grip on the railing. Rolling back and forth across the deck, I finally come to a crashing halt against the siding, upside down and in perfect position to see Guan Suo standing at ease. I blame the Emperor for all this. If he didnt order me to come to Nan Ping, Id be nice and safe in my yurt at the Wall, free from the oppression of this terrible terrapin tyrant.Once my borrowed boat comes to a shuddering halt, Ping Pings violent, yet reasonable tantrum also ends. Submerging most of her head in the water, she leaves only her eyes and nostrils out while she lurks and pouts, an impressive feat for someone who doesnt have lips. After making sure the crew are all still on board, I ask the captain to find a place to dock which will also allow Ping Ping to get back onto the streets with minimal damage, though I fear the borrowed boat might not survive the return journey. Spotting my retinue, I ignore their stifled laughter and yell out orders, telling them where to meet me and to send a squad to pick up Lin and a change of clothes. I need to find a tailor and have new outfits made, at the rate Im going through them Ill be dressed in rags by the end of the week.Somehow, I find myself standing in front of my smiling sister, with Ping Ping hot on my heels. Ruthlessly pinching my cheek, Alsantset Sends, Do not worry little brother. Should the sky fall, there will be others to bear it.Thank you, I reply, unable to focus enough to Send. Sorry.Ignoring the muted smiles and staring eyes from the crowd around us, I tell myself its irrational to think everyone already heard about me getting beat the fuck down by a turtle. Theyre all staring because Ping Ping is a rare sight. Oh shit, if word of Ping Pings abuse spreads, will the Legate try to appoint a different attendant? If shell willingly follow someone else away, Ill throw a party and celebrate but chances are Ill be demoted from Divine Attendant to turtle bait, forced to obey my replacement. Not fun.Then again, Im not too worried about being punished for destroying the merchant house. For once, I actually thought things through. Officially, the Divine Turtle is here under her own free will as a sign of the Mothers Blessing, so if Im punished for her actions, it would imply I have control over her and therefore am the reason shes in Nan Ping, which runs counter to the official statement. In these desperate times, the Legate needs to keep morale up and Ping Ping serves this purpose admirably. Turning a blind eye to my actions against a mere merchant company should be a small price to pay. At worst, Ill be reprimanded for not properly guiding Ping Ping and forced to pay for damages or something.Noted, I reply out loud, immediately regretting my decision to nod. Fucking concussion. Tuck and roll, Rain, tuck and roll. Chin to your chest, dont let your head pendulum back into the ground, it should be instinct by now. Then again, my memory of the whole thing is kinda spotty. Maybe I literally landed on my head. Its possible, Ping Pings spit really packs a wallop. I wonder how much hang time I had? Patting my rumbling belly to quiet it, I ask, Is there any food? Im starving.Ate most of it. Fed the rest to your pets. Shrugging in a quasi-apology, Guan Suo continues, You slept a long while, missed most of the show. Your sister is finishing up her last match, following a set of impressive victories from Vichear and Gerel.Turning towards the stage, I make it halfway before stopping on a familiar face, sitting on the balcony of the building beside the duelling stage. Dressed in the tightest tunic Ive ever seen since coming to this world, the colourful silk hugs her skin and reveals curves I dont remember her having. Through the wooden railing, I catch a glimpse of her shapely, slender legs, also snugly wrapped in silk and leaving little to the imagination. Still wearing her hair in a pixie cut, shes grown her bangs out and swept to one side, a marked improvement over the rough, self-styled cut she favoured as a Sentinel, pragmatic, yet stylish. Though filed shorter than I remember and no longer curving back on themselves, her horns are sharper than ever and wrapped in a silver mesh interspersed with glimmering pink diamonds. A hint of eyeliner accentuates her piercing brown eyes and wearing a smidgen of rouge on her lovely pink lips, the sight of her sitting there is enough to make me swoon.Or maybe its the concussion again. Either way, Adujan looks gorgeous, like a flawless, ivory-skinned, ebony-haired goddess given flesh.Ah, no, I suppose its Du Min Yan now...As if sensing my gaze, Yan catches me staring with wide eyes and open mouth, both of which I have little control of at the moment. Flashing the same saucy smile as always, she winks and mouths something before turning away, setting my heart aflutter.Hmm... I have no idea what she mouthed. I was too distracted by... other thoughts. Maybe I should go up there and ask her. I mean, we havent seen each other in forever so were due for a chat, and still I need to deliver Milas message...Which makes me oh so sad. 100% chance its to warn Yan away, my freckled beloved is not one to share.Still... I should say hi. Just a harmless, hey, how you doin sort of thing, bit of catching up between old friends. As I take my first step towards the building, a familiar voice barks, Falling Rain! Freezing in place, I turn to find the unnamed Guard Captain standing next to me, looking all stern and businesslike unlike a few days ago when hed been all smiley and drunk. The Legate commands your presence.Tch. Horrible timing....Shit. Did I say that out loud?...Did I say that out loud?...Fucking concussions....Okay, I definitely said that out loud.Chapter Meme
