Chapter 552
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Chapter 552
While its mildly embarrassing to go running to Mom and Dad for help so often, I gotta say its nice to know theyll come riding to the rescue whenever they hear Im in trouble, at the head of a heavily armed contingent, no less.
Despite riding at a breakneck pace, my rescue party swoops in with barely a whisper as the hardy winter grass does much to mute their arrival. Without uttering a word, Dad sets to ordering his people to secure the area, and I spot many a familiar face amongst the crowd, including Ghurda, Yaruq, Tenjin, Tursinai, and other former members of the Iron Banner. Akanai and Husolt are also here, larger than life yet still deferring to Baatars command out of respect for his rank and authority. A fine line to walk when youre as forceful and commanding as Akanai can be, but she walks it well, almost melting into the background while only periodically glancing over at the grove where Mila and Song are hiding. Du Min Gyu joined the party too, arriving with weapon drawn while standing next to his driver Kyung instead of sitting comfortably inside the carriage as per usual. His gaze so intense it sends a chill down my spine, the aged warrior scans our surroundings while slowly waving his sword-fan this way, then that, and something about his careful and deliberate movements tells me theres more to them than mere pageantry or habit.
Wind radar, or something? Or a normal, Chi sensing skill I havent heard about? Whatever it is, it doesnt look easy, though the tension in his shoulders and neck might just be from stress. After all, Yan is here with me too, and any attempt on my life would also put hers in danger.
Hopping off her quin with grace and ease, Mom forcibly pushes me back into the bamboo grove without so much as a hello. Mule-headed fool, standing out in the open where any stray arrow or dagger could take your life. Get back into cover, she Sends, using her body to block the entrance and shelter me from possible assassination without hesitation. A harsh tongue and soft heart, Mom is, but luckily for me, the majesty of Taduks casual bamboo landscaping project cuts her censure short, and her eyes go wide with wonder. Mother in Heaven, she whispers, her reverence and wonder causing her to forget to keep quiet. This is... incredible.
So people keep telling me, but I dont see it, and not for lack of trying. Choking back a torrent of pithy comments, I pull Mom a little further into the dirt path because I can see shes already on the cusp of Insight and has forgotten all about the present danger. In my defence, its not like I didnt consider the possibility of more killers lurking about, but its been over an hour since the first attempt with no further development. Then, when Guard Leader told me our escorts had arrived, I stepped out to check because I couldnt believe they got here so quickly. One hour is barely enough time to make the trip here at a reasonable pace, which means Guard Leaders messenger wasted no time booking it back to the citadel, and Mom and Dad rode out almost immediately with a force which had almost certainly been waiting on standby.
It goes to show everyone is taking this attempt on my life way more seriously than I am. I mean, yea sure I almost died, but thats like a daily occurrence by now, so I dont understand why theyre making such a big fuss over it all. Id ask Mom, but shes busy ruminating over the worlds mystery and making progress along her Martial Dao. At least she didnt go full Insight and start waving her spear around, and as happy as I am for everyones easy progress, I cant help being super jealous over it at the same time. Aside from that one time I deciphered how to copy Akanais charging thrust after seeing it once, Ive never experienced Insight like this a second time. I dont understand whats so special about Insight either, because sharing them is almost next to impossible, according to everyone Ive met and all my personal experiences. Ive tried teaching my friends and soldiers how to do the same charge, but despite explaining the mechanics behind it, none have been able to successfully pull it off.
Seriously, how hard can it be? Its Balance on Windy Leaf into Pierce the Horizon. Like, cmon. Simple as that.
...Okay, maybe not so simple, but still. Lean forward until you feel your weight shift beyond your control, then spring forward using the muscles in your toes and calves. That settles the Balance on Windy Leaf portion, and next is Pierce the Horizon, which is fundamentally no different from how its usually practised. Your weapon hand starts cocked back, with your other hand extended forward. Then when its time to strike, you bring your extended hand back while simultaneously thrusting with your weapon, making sure to also push off with your toes, stretch your calves, extend your quads, twist your hips, roll your shoulders, and...
...
I may be understating the difficulty of the attack, which explains why Insight is so vital.
My Baledagh persona was always better with Insight, able to hear the voice of the Heavens or whatever. Id be struggling with some combination of the Forms and hed just Demonstrate them as easily as turning a hand, as if hed been born with the knowledge already implanted into his mind. Some of it was Spectre Radio, but not all of it, and since now I know his mind is my mind, why do I still have so much trouble with Insight?
Its not fair, Mother in Heaven. Why wont you just fix me?
Yet another one of my burning questions which will likely be left unanswered, but alas, such is life. It sucks donkey dick.
After finding Mom a nice empty space where she can ponder her Insights without disturbing her neighbours or blocking the path, I head back out to check on everyones progress, only to be shooed back inside by Akanai standing guard at the entrance. Stay with your teacher, she instructs without looking back, which makes me question how she even knew I was there. See, this is what I meant when I half-jokingly claimed I seek strength because its awesome. Who doesnt want to be a stoic Ninja Warrior with heightened senses and stuff? Doing kick flips and aerial acrobatics while taking heads like picking apples, its my second choice of career after face-melting, terrain-shaping, bear-armed wizard. Considering I Awakened to the Blessing of Water, the latter is probably unattainable, so super awesome Ninja Warrior it is.
Honestly, with the wicked cool flip I did earlier today whilst avoiding death at the hands of my would-be assassins, I feel like Im not too far off from realizing this particular dream. Problem is, awesome Ninja Warrior is only a little better than your basic mook in this death world, so Ill need to up my game and strive for cool Ninja Captain or something afterwards, complete with face mask and eye-patch.
With nothing better to do while I wait, I return to the garden as instructed and set to playing with my bored wildcats. The bear brothers are happy to nap the afternoon away, and the bunnies never make a fuss so long as they have food, but the wildcats are a more active bunch and like to run, climb, and generally prowl about. Its been a nightmare keeping Sarankho off of the bamboo poles, while Jimjam has embraced his inner cat and is now pushing his limits without care for the consequences, mostly because there really arent any. One moment hell be happily lazing between Banjo and Baloo, then the next hell bat them both away with a flurry of kung-fu cat taps. Claws rescinded of course, but the aggrieved bears dont understand why their big brother would turn on them and go to great lengths to appease him, even though either one could probably break Jimjam in two with hardly any effort at all. When not terrorizing his bear siblings, the moody wildcat bullies my poor teacher by darting out into the garden to slap at empty dirt, causing Taduk to have a conniption while checking his precious seeds and saplings to make sure theyre unharmed. Thus far, Jimjam has yet to do any permanent damage, but its only a matter of time, and all the scolding in the world does nothing to stop him. I even tried hugging him close and brushing his fur to calm his wildcat temper, but all that got me was a kick in the stomach as he vaulted away to slap the ground as if its unevenness offended him.
At least Sarankhos mischievous streak is easily dissuaded by keeping her occupied with the feather and string. Theres no stopping Jimjam from his random acts of dirt destruction so long as hes left unrestrained, and Ive yet to design a harness hell wear and wont immediately shred to pieces. Ugh. This would all be so much easier if Lin-Lin wasnt napping next to Taduk...
Say what now?
No doubt reading my confusion, Dad explains, Until yesterday, you were merely the Legates pawn, but everyone believed you held his favour, and thus, his protection. Now, the illusion has shattered for those in power, and even though you are working with the Legate in truth, it is to his advantage to keep your ties a secret. Where once you were sacrificial pawn, you are now a dagger hidden in plain sight, but to play your part well, the world must continue to believe you are an abandoned piece. This is a far more dangerous role, but one you are well suited to, for you are the Undying, and you will not fall easily. The last is Sent with a smattering of pride, and Dad even thumps me on the shoulder in a manly show of affection which sets my flesh to bruising. Since the Legate cannot afford to invest too much in your protection, his enemies will see you as a tempting target. Killing you will cause the Legate to lose face publicly, and Eastern Imperials have been known to go to great lengths for much less. Such are your trials and tribulations, my son; there is something to be said about tall trees attracting the wind. Again, his words are filled with pride, because in his eyes, he sees my dangerous enemies as a measurement of my success, which is all sorts of messed up.
Hang on. Taking a moment to process everything, my brain finally catches up and I ask, Youre telling me the Legates enemies see my death as an insult?
Dad nods, still beaming with pride, and I inwardly curse this world and almost everyone in it. Even the Seneschal, Zhang Jun Bao, might make an attempt on your life, if only at his masters behest with fair warning to us in advance. You taunted and insulted the man repeatedly in front of the Legate and his enemies, so this Solitary Sword would be remiss not to seek vengeance. If he were to make an attempt on your life, it would do much to sell the pretense of your fall from the Legates good graces.
Fucking politics. You think you understand, but you dont, not really. No one understands, because theyre all making the rules up as they go. With a sigh of grudging acceptance and jaded discontent, I hug Dad and say, Well, shit. Im glad youre smart enough to pick up on all this. I didnt catch any of it at all. My naive ass thought things would be easier now that I was working with the Legate, but apparently not.
Coughing lightly, Dad explains, Your consort Zheng Luo explained most of this to your mother while you were at your meeting with the Legate, and filled in the rest after hearing how things went. Her drive, intelligence, and even her quiet arrogance, she shares much in common with you, boy. She is a good match, so do not treat her so poorly. Shrugging, he smiles and adds, Such is life, my son. You suffer for having eyes larger than your mouth. One wife is all I, your father, can handle, and poorly at that, yet you dream of having five? You have your work cut out for you, for never has there been a wife who was happy to see an idle husband. Enough of your questions now, there is work to be done.
Standing aside to let Dad do his thing, I settle back down next to Taduk and sigh. Sometimes, I say, sinking into his warm embrace, I wish Id taken your advice and stuck to being an herbalist instead.
Never dwell on regrets. Sitting me up straight and turning me to face him, Taduk looks more serious than Ive ever seen him before. Regrets are poison to the mind and soul, an unending trap of what might have been. Reflect on your mistakes and learn from them, but nothing you do can ever change them, so there is no sense dwelling on maybes and what ifs. Plan for the future, but more importantly, live in the present. Now is the most meaningful moment of all, because now is the only moment you can reasonably affect. For a moment, I almost believe my teacher is speaking logical sense in a subject besides Healing or herbalism, but then he points at his garden and growls, My seeds are missing again. Three of them from that area there. The little rapscallion must have slipped in while I wasnt paying attention, so go poke around and see if you can find any clues.
Yes teacher. Smiling despite the urge to sigh some more, I reflect on Taduks advice while combing through the dirt with a borrowed spade. Now is the most meaningful moment of all, because now is the only moment you can reasonably affect. Hes... not wrong. I cant change the past, and I cant predict the future, but my actions now can make up for my mistakes in the past, and can also help shape how the future turns out. So what can I do now? I can make plans for my next step. Bitch at the Legate for starters, so I should get myself an audience with him and see what help he can offer without appearing to offer too much help. I should be more cautious with my actions too, stay close to home instead of traipsing about. Maybe even set a trap or two for would-be assassins, though Ill need to discuss the specifics with Dad later on. Then I -
Snapping out of my thoughts, I notice the dirt shuffle ever so slightly before my spade has chance to touch it, and I quickly leap away for fear of erupting mole-rat Demons or Ancestral Beasts. Standing guard before Lin-Lin, Taduk, and my floofs, Im ready to go down fighting with all Ive got, but to my great surprise, nothing bursts out of the ground for once. A good thing too, because Ive had it with these motherfucking mole-rats on this motherfucking planet. Seriously, have some originality please, and send some Fire-Blessed birds or Lightning Blessed rats or something. Enough with the Earth Blessed mole-rats. Weve seen enough of them by now.
After sheepishly assuring everyone who came running that I simply overreacted, I cautiously head back to my fallen spade to pick through the dirt. Maybe I was seeing things, or maybe I accidentally shifted some dirt and didnt notice. It didnt just move on its own, it couldnt have, and lets be real, the Defiled can only have so many mole-rat Demons to work with. Theres no way they sent one ALL the way past the Northern Citadel without anyone noticing, because if they could do that, then they could tunnel Defiled tribesman in without anyone noticing and start a panic through all of Central.
Digging deeper to reassure myself nothing is going on, I continue at it for a good five minutes before noticing something amiss. How is this hole still the same size? A spade isnt the fastest digging tool, but all my hard work has resulted in a shallow furrow barely big enough to step in. What the hell? Morbid curiosity overcoming my aversion to poop, I remind myself that Taduk never said anything about adding Ancestral Beast poop to the soil here, and that its only an unconfirmed suspicion of mine. Trying not to think too much about it, I set to digging through the dirt with hand and spade, flinging whole swathes aside in an effort to uncover the mystery before me. The furrow grows larger, but at an inexplicably slow pace, as if the dirt here is all compressed and Im just loosening the topsoil, except theres no way thats true. Taduk prepped this entire area for his Spiritual Plant garden, which means at least fifty centimetres of loose soil for roots to grow freely. Calling Taduk over to help, we set to work like crazed maniacs tossing dirt to one side while making no more than a minor dent in the ground. Frustrated beyond compare, I toss my spade aside and plunge both hands deep into the soil and instantly feel something underneath. Grabbing it tight, I yell for Taduk to keep digging, only to uncover the bastard hidden deep within.
A chubby, adorable floof with a broad, black nose and the roundest cheeks Ive ever seen.
Its a groundhog! I cry, jubilant at having found a new friend, only for the furry little bastard to bark and bite me. Haha, I guess spring is really here.
Im not too concerned about the bite. Groundhog teeth are pretty strong, but not meant for rending flesh and bone. Plus Taduks right here, so you can gnaw all you want but Im not letting go. I caught you, so now were best friends forever, my Earth Blessed little buddy.
Or I will cook you and serve you to Taduk, so be a good groundhog, okay?
Chapter Meme
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Chapter 552
While its mildly embarrassing to go running to Mom and Dad for help so often, I gotta say its nice to know theyll come riding to the rescue whenever they hear Im in trouble, at the head of a heavily armed contingent, no less.
Despite riding at a breakneck pace, my rescue party swoops in with barely a whisper as the hardy winter grass does much to mute their arrival. Without uttering a word, Dad sets to ordering his people to secure the area, and I spot many a familiar face amongst the crowd, including Ghurda, Yaruq, Tenjin, Tursinai, and other former members of the Iron Banner. Akanai and Husolt are also here, larger than life yet still deferring to Baatars command out of respect for his rank and authority. A fine line to walk when youre as forceful and commanding as Akanai can be, but she walks it well, almost melting into the background while only periodically glancing over at the grove where Mila and Song are hiding. Du Min Gyu joined the party too, arriving with weapon drawn while standing next to his driver Kyung instead of sitting comfortably inside the carriage as per usual. His gaze so intense it sends a chill down my spine, the aged warrior scans our surroundings while slowly waving his sword-fan this way, then that, and something about his careful and deliberate movements tells me theres more to them than mere pageantry or habit.
Wind radar, or something? Or a normal, Chi sensing skill I havent heard about? Whatever it is, it doesnt look easy, though the tension in his shoulders and neck might just be from stress. After all, Yan is here with me too, and any attempt on my life would also put hers in danger.
Hopping off her quin with grace and ease, Mom forcibly pushes me back into the bamboo grove without so much as a hello. Mule-headed fool, standing out in the open where any stray arrow or dagger could take your life. Get back into cover, she Sends, using her body to block the entrance and shelter me from possible assassination without hesitation. A harsh tongue and soft heart, Mom is, but luckily for me, the majesty of Taduks casual bamboo landscaping project cuts her censure short, and her eyes go wide with wonder. Mother in Heaven, she whispers, her reverence and wonder causing her to forget to keep quiet. This is... incredible.
So people keep telling me, but I dont see it, and not for lack of trying. Choking back a torrent of pithy comments, I pull Mom a little further into the dirt path because I can see shes already on the cusp of Insight and has forgotten all about the present danger. In my defence, its not like I didnt consider the possibility of more killers lurking about, but its been over an hour since the first attempt with no further development. Then, when Guard Leader told me our escorts had arrived, I stepped out to check because I couldnt believe they got here so quickly. One hour is barely enough time to make the trip here at a reasonable pace, which means Guard Leaders messenger wasted no time booking it back to the citadel, and Mom and Dad rode out almost immediately with a force which had almost certainly been waiting on standby.
It goes to show everyone is taking this attempt on my life way more seriously than I am. I mean, yea sure I almost died, but thats like a daily occurrence by now, so I dont understand why theyre making such a big fuss over it all. Id ask Mom, but shes busy ruminating over the worlds mystery and making progress along her Martial Dao. At least she didnt go full Insight and start waving her spear around, and as happy as I am for everyones easy progress, I cant help being super jealous over it at the same time. Aside from that one time I deciphered how to copy Akanais charging thrust after seeing it once, Ive never experienced Insight like this a second time. I dont understand whats so special about Insight either, because sharing them is almost next to impossible, according to everyone Ive met and all my personal experiences. Ive tried teaching my friends and soldiers how to do the same charge, but despite explaining the mechanics behind it, none have been able to successfully pull it off.
Seriously, how hard can it be? Its Balance on Windy Leaf into Pierce the Horizon. Like, cmon. Simple as that.
...Okay, maybe not so simple, but still. Lean forward until you feel your weight shift beyond your control, then spring forward using the muscles in your toes and calves. That settles the Balance on Windy Leaf portion, and next is Pierce the Horizon, which is fundamentally no different from how its usually practised. Your weapon hand starts cocked back, with your other hand extended forward. Then when its time to strike, you bring your extended hand back while simultaneously thrusting with your weapon, making sure to also push off with your toes, stretch your calves, extend your quads, twist your hips, roll your shoulders, and...
...
I may be understating the difficulty of the attack, which explains why Insight is so vital.
My Baledagh persona was always better with Insight, able to hear the voice of the Heavens or whatever. Id be struggling with some combination of the Forms and hed just Demonstrate them as easily as turning a hand, as if hed been born with the knowledge already implanted into his mind. Some of it was Spectre Radio, but not all of it, and since now I know his mind is my mind, why do I still have so much trouble with Insight?
Its not fair, Mother in Heaven. Why wont you just fix me?
Yet another one of my burning questions which will likely be left unanswered, but alas, such is life. It sucks donkey dick.
After finding Mom a nice empty space where she can ponder her Insights without disturbing her neighbours or blocking the path, I head back out to check on everyones progress, only to be shooed back inside by Akanai standing guard at the entrance. Stay with your teacher, she instructs without looking back, which makes me question how she even knew I was there. See, this is what I meant when I half-jokingly claimed I seek strength because its awesome. Who doesnt want to be a stoic Ninja Warrior with heightened senses and stuff? Doing kick flips and aerial acrobatics while taking heads like picking apples, its my second choice of career after face-melting, terrain-shaping, bear-armed wizard. Considering I Awakened to the Blessing of Water, the latter is probably unattainable, so super awesome Ninja Warrior it is.
Honestly, with the wicked cool flip I did earlier today whilst avoiding death at the hands of my would-be assassins, I feel like Im not too far off from realizing this particular dream. Problem is, awesome Ninja Warrior is only a little better than your basic mook in this death world, so Ill need to up my game and strive for cool Ninja Captain or something afterwards, complete with face mask and eye-patch.
With nothing better to do while I wait, I return to the garden as instructed and set to playing with my bored wildcats. The bear brothers are happy to nap the afternoon away, and the bunnies never make a fuss so long as they have food, but the wildcats are a more active bunch and like to run, climb, and generally prowl about. Its been a nightmare keeping Sarankho off of the bamboo poles, while Jimjam has embraced his inner cat and is now pushing his limits without care for the consequences, mostly because there really arent any. One moment hell be happily lazing between Banjo and Baloo, then the next hell bat them both away with a flurry of kung-fu cat taps. Claws rescinded of course, but the aggrieved bears dont understand why their big brother would turn on them and go to great lengths to appease him, even though either one could probably break Jimjam in two with hardly any effort at all. When not terrorizing his bear siblings, the moody wildcat bullies my poor teacher by darting out into the garden to slap at empty dirt, causing Taduk to have a conniption while checking his precious seeds and saplings to make sure theyre unharmed. Thus far, Jimjam has yet to do any permanent damage, but its only a matter of time, and all the scolding in the world does nothing to stop him. I even tried hugging him close and brushing his fur to calm his wildcat temper, but all that got me was a kick in the stomach as he vaulted away to slap the ground as if its unevenness offended him.
At least Sarankhos mischievous streak is easily dissuaded by keeping her occupied with the feather and string. Theres no stopping Jimjam from his random acts of dirt destruction so long as hes left unrestrained, and Ive yet to design a harness hell wear and wont immediately shred to pieces. Ugh. This would all be so much easier if Lin-Lin wasnt napping next to Taduk...
Say what now?
No doubt reading my confusion, Dad explains, Until yesterday, you were merely the Legates pawn, but everyone believed you held his favour, and thus, his protection. Now, the illusion has shattered for those in power, and even though you are working with the Legate in truth, it is to his advantage to keep your ties a secret. Where once you were sacrificial pawn, you are now a dagger hidden in plain sight, but to play your part well, the world must continue to believe you are an abandoned piece. This is a far more dangerous role, but one you are well suited to, for you are the Undying, and you will not fall easily. The last is Sent with a smattering of pride, and Dad even thumps me on the shoulder in a manly show of affection which sets my flesh to bruising. Since the Legate cannot afford to invest too much in your protection, his enemies will see you as a tempting target. Killing you will cause the Legate to lose face publicly, and Eastern Imperials have been known to go to great lengths for much less. Such are your trials and tribulations, my son; there is something to be said about tall trees attracting the wind. Again, his words are filled with pride, because in his eyes, he sees my dangerous enemies as a measurement of my success, which is all sorts of messed up.
Hang on. Taking a moment to process everything, my brain finally catches up and I ask, Youre telling me the Legates enemies see my death as an insult?
Dad nods, still beaming with pride, and I inwardly curse this world and almost everyone in it. Even the Seneschal, Zhang Jun Bao, might make an attempt on your life, if only at his masters behest with fair warning to us in advance. You taunted and insulted the man repeatedly in front of the Legate and his enemies, so this Solitary Sword would be remiss not to seek vengeance. If he were to make an attempt on your life, it would do much to sell the pretense of your fall from the Legates good graces.
Fucking politics. You think you understand, but you dont, not really. No one understands, because theyre all making the rules up as they go. With a sigh of grudging acceptance and jaded discontent, I hug Dad and say, Well, shit. Im glad youre smart enough to pick up on all this. I didnt catch any of it at all. My naive ass thought things would be easier now that I was working with the Legate, but apparently not.
Coughing lightly, Dad explains, Your consort Zheng Luo explained most of this to your mother while you were at your meeting with the Legate, and filled in the rest after hearing how things went. Her drive, intelligence, and even her quiet arrogance, she shares much in common with you, boy. She is a good match, so do not treat her so poorly. Shrugging, he smiles and adds, Such is life, my son. You suffer for having eyes larger than your mouth. One wife is all I, your father, can handle, and poorly at that, yet you dream of having five? You have your work cut out for you, for never has there been a wife who was happy to see an idle husband. Enough of your questions now, there is work to be done.
Standing aside to let Dad do his thing, I settle back down next to Taduk and sigh. Sometimes, I say, sinking into his warm embrace, I wish Id taken your advice and stuck to being an herbalist instead.
Never dwell on regrets. Sitting me up straight and turning me to face him, Taduk looks more serious than Ive ever seen him before. Regrets are poison to the mind and soul, an unending trap of what might have been. Reflect on your mistakes and learn from them, but nothing you do can ever change them, so there is no sense dwelling on maybes and what ifs. Plan for the future, but more importantly, live in the present. Now is the most meaningful moment of all, because now is the only moment you can reasonably affect. For a moment, I almost believe my teacher is speaking logical sense in a subject besides Healing or herbalism, but then he points at his garden and growls, My seeds are missing again. Three of them from that area there. The little rapscallion must have slipped in while I wasnt paying attention, so go poke around and see if you can find any clues.
Yes teacher. Smiling despite the urge to sigh some more, I reflect on Taduks advice while combing through the dirt with a borrowed spade. Now is the most meaningful moment of all, because now is the only moment you can reasonably affect. Hes... not wrong. I cant change the past, and I cant predict the future, but my actions now can make up for my mistakes in the past, and can also help shape how the future turns out. So what can I do now? I can make plans for my next step. Bitch at the Legate for starters, so I should get myself an audience with him and see what help he can offer without appearing to offer too much help. I should be more cautious with my actions too, stay close to home instead of traipsing about. Maybe even set a trap or two for would-be assassins, though Ill need to discuss the specifics with Dad later on. Then I -
Snapping out of my thoughts, I notice the dirt shuffle ever so slightly before my spade has chance to touch it, and I quickly leap away for fear of erupting mole-rat Demons or Ancestral Beasts. Standing guard before Lin-Lin, Taduk, and my floofs, Im ready to go down fighting with all Ive got, but to my great surprise, nothing bursts out of the ground for once. A good thing too, because Ive had it with these motherfucking mole-rats on this motherfucking planet. Seriously, have some originality please, and send some Fire-Blessed birds or Lightning Blessed rats or something. Enough with the Earth Blessed mole-rats. Weve seen enough of them by now.
After sheepishly assuring everyone who came running that I simply overreacted, I cautiously head back to my fallen spade to pick through the dirt. Maybe I was seeing things, or maybe I accidentally shifted some dirt and didnt notice. It didnt just move on its own, it couldnt have, and lets be real, the Defiled can only have so many mole-rat Demons to work with. Theres no way they sent one ALL the way past the Northern Citadel without anyone noticing, because if they could do that, then they could tunnel Defiled tribesman in without anyone noticing and start a panic through all of Central.
Digging deeper to reassure myself nothing is going on, I continue at it for a good five minutes before noticing something amiss. How is this hole still the same size? A spade isnt the fastest digging tool, but all my hard work has resulted in a shallow furrow barely big enough to step in. What the hell? Morbid curiosity overcoming my aversion to poop, I remind myself that Taduk never said anything about adding Ancestral Beast poop to the soil here, and that its only an unconfirmed suspicion of mine. Trying not to think too much about it, I set to digging through the dirt with hand and spade, flinging whole swathes aside in an effort to uncover the mystery before me. The furrow grows larger, but at an inexplicably slow pace, as if the dirt here is all compressed and Im just loosening the topsoil, except theres no way thats true. Taduk prepped this entire area for his Spiritual Plant garden, which means at least fifty centimetres of loose soil for roots to grow freely. Calling Taduk over to help, we set to work like crazed maniacs tossing dirt to one side while making no more than a minor dent in the ground. Frustrated beyond compare, I toss my spade aside and plunge both hands deep into the soil and instantly feel something underneath. Grabbing it tight, I yell for Taduk to keep digging, only to uncover the bastard hidden deep within.
A chubby, adorable floof with a broad, black nose and the roundest cheeks Ive ever seen.
Its a groundhog! I cry, jubilant at having found a new friend, only for the furry little bastard to bark and bite me. Haha, I guess spring is really here.
Im not too concerned about the bite. Groundhog teeth are pretty strong, but not meant for rending flesh and bone. Plus Taduks right here, so you can gnaw all you want but Im not letting go. I caught you, so now were best friends forever, my Earth Blessed little buddy.
Or I will cook you and serve you to Taduk, so be a good groundhog, okay?
Chapter Meme
Chapter 552While its mildly embarrassing to go running to Mom and Dad for help so often, I gotta say its nice to know theyll come riding to the rescue whenever they hear Im in trouble, at the head of a heavily armed contingent, no less.Despite riding at a breakneck pace, my rescue party swoops in with barely a whisper as the hardy winter grass does much to mute their arrival. Without uttering a word, Dad sets to ordering his people to secure the area, and I spot many a familiar face amongst the crowd, including Ghurda, Yaruq, Tenjin, Tursinai, and other former members of the Iron Banner. Akanai and Husolt are also here, larger than life yet still deferring to Baatars command out of respect for his rank and authority. A fine line to walk when youre as forceful and commanding as Akanai can be, but she walks it well, almost melting into the background while only periodically glancing over at the grove where Mila and Song are hiding. Du Min Gyu joined the party too, arriving with weapon drawn while standing next to his driver Kyung instead of sitting comfortably inside the carriage as per usual. His gaze so intense it sends a chill down my spine, the aged warrior scans our surroundings while slowly waving his sword-fan this way, then that, and something about his careful and deliberate movements tells me theres more to them than mere pageantry or habit.Wind radar, or something? Or a normal, Chi sensing skill I havent heard about? Whatever it is, it doesnt look easy, though the tension in his shoulders and neck might just be from stress. After all, Yan is here with me too, and any attempt on my life would also put hers in danger.Hopping off her quin with grace and ease, Mom forcibly pushes me back into the bamboo grove without so much as a hello. Mule-headed fool, standing out in the open where any stray arrow or dagger could take your life. Get back into cover, she Sends, using her body to block the entrance and shelter me from possible assassination without hesitation. A harsh tongue and soft heart, Mom is, but luckily for me, the majesty of Taduks casual bamboo landscaping project cuts her censure short, and her eyes go wide with wonder. Mother in Heaven, she whispers, her reverence and wonder causing her to forget to keep quiet. This is... incredible.So people keep telling me, but I dont see it, and not for lack of trying. Choking back a torrent of pithy comments, I pull Mom a little further into the dirt path because I can see shes already on the cusp of Insight and has forgotten all about the present danger. In my defence, its not like I didnt consider the possibility of more killers lurking about, but its been over an hour since the first attempt with no further development. Then, when Guard Leader told me our escorts had arrived, I stepped out to check because I couldnt believe they got here so quickly. One hour is barely enough time to make the trip here at a reasonable pace, which means Guard Leaders messenger wasted no time booking it back to the citadel, and Mom and Dad rode out almost immediately with a force which had almost certainly been waiting on standby.It goes to show everyone is taking this attempt on my life way more seriously than I am. I mean, yea sure I almost died, but thats like a daily occurrence by now, so I dont understand why theyre making such a big fuss over it all. Id ask Mom, but shes busy ruminating over the worlds mystery and making progress along her Martial Dao. At least she didnt go full Insight and start waving her spear around, and as happy as I am for everyones easy progress, I cant help being super jealous over it at the same time. Aside from that one time I deciphered how to copy Akanais charging thrust after seeing it once, Ive never experienced Insight like this a second time. I dont understand whats so special about Insight either, because sharing them is almost next to impossible, according to everyone Ive met and all my personal experiences. Ive tried teaching my friends and soldiers how to do the same charge, but despite explaining the mechanics behind it, none have been able to successfully pull it off.Seriously, how hard can it be? Its Balance on Windy Leaf into Pierce the Horizon. Like, cmon. Simple as that....Okay, maybe not so simple, but still. Lean forward until you feel your weight shift beyond your control, then spring forward using the muscles in your toes and calves. That settles the Balance on Windy Leaf portion, and next is Pierce the Horizon, which is fundamentally no different from how its usually practised. Your weapon hand starts cocked back, with your other hand extended forward. Then when its time to strike, you bring your extended hand back while simultaneously thrusting with your weapon, making sure to also push off with your toes, stretch your calves, extend your quads, twist your hips, roll your shoulders, and......I may be understating the difficulty of the attack, which explains why Insight is so vital.My Baledagh persona was always better with Insight, able to hear the voice of the Heavens or whatever. Id be struggling with some combination of the Forms and hed just Demonstrate them as easily as turning a hand, as if hed been born with the knowledge already implanted into his mind. Some of it was Spectre Radio, but not all of it, and since now I know his mind is my mind, why do I still have so much trouble with Insight?Its not fair, Mother in Heaven. Why wont you just fix me?Yet another one of my burning questions which will likely be left unanswered, but alas, such is life. It sucks donkey dick.After finding Mom a nice empty space where she can ponder her Insights without disturbing her neighbours or blocking the path, I head back out to check on everyones progress, only to be shooed back inside by Akanai standing guard at the entrance. Stay with your teacher, she instructs without looking back, which makes me question how she even knew I was there. See, this is what I meant when I half-jokingly claimed I seek strength because its awesome. Who doesnt want to be a stoic Ninja Warrior with heightened senses and stuff? Doing kick flips and aerial acrobatics while taking heads like picking apples, its my second choice of career after face-melting, terrain-shaping, bear-armed wizard. Considering I Awakened to the Blessing of Water, the latter is probably unattainable, so super awesome Ninja Warrior it is.Honestly, with the wicked cool flip I did earlier today whilst avoiding death at the hands of my would-be assassins, I feel like Im not too far off from realizing this particular dream. Problem is, awesome Ninja Warrior is only a little better than your basic mook in this death world, so Ill need to up my game and strive for cool Ninja Captain or something afterwards, complete with face mask and eye-patch.With nothing better to do while I wait, I return to the garden as instructed and set to playing with my bored wildcats. The bear brothers are happy to nap the afternoon away, and the bunnies never make a fuss so long as they have food, but the wildcats are a more active bunch and like to run, climb, and generally prowl about. Its been a nightmare keeping Sarankho off of the bamboo poles, while Jimjam has embraced his inner cat and is now pushing his limits without care for the consequences, mostly because there really arent any. One moment hell be happily lazing between Banjo and Baloo, then the next hell bat them both away with a flurry of kung-fu cat taps. Claws rescinded of course, but the aggrieved bears dont understand why their big brother would turn on them and go to great lengths to appease him, even though either one could probably break Jimjam in two with hardly any effort at all. When not terrorizing his bear siblings, the moody wildcat bullies my poor teacher by darting out into the garden to slap at empty dirt, causing Taduk to have a conniption while checking his precious seeds and saplings to make sure theyre unharmed. Thus far, Jimjam has yet to do any permanent damage, but its only a matter of time, and all the scolding in the world does nothing to stop him. I even tried hugging him close and brushing his fur to calm his wildcat temper, but all that got me was a kick in the stomach as he vaulted away to slap the ground as if its unevenness offended him.At least Sarankhos mischievous streak is easily dissuaded by keeping her occupied with the feather and string. Theres no stopping Jimjam from his random acts of dirt destruction so long as hes left unrestrained, and Ive yet to design a harness hell wear and wont immediately shred to pieces. Ugh. This would all be so much easier if Lin-Lin wasnt napping next to Taduk...Say what now?No doubt reading my confusion, Dad explains, Until yesterday, you were merely the Legates pawn, but everyone believed you held his favour, and thus, his protection. Now, the illusion has shattered for those in power, and even though you are working with the Legate in truth, it is to his advantage to keep your ties a secret. Where once you were sacrificial pawn, you are now a dagger hidden in plain sight, but to play your part well, the world must continue to believe you are an abandoned piece. This is a far more dangerous role, but one you are well suited to, for you are the Undying, and you will not fall easily. The last is Sent with a smattering of pride, and Dad even thumps me on the shoulder in a manly show of affection which sets my flesh to bruising. Since the Legate cannot afford to invest too much in your protection, his enemies will see you as a tempting target. Killing you will cause the Legate to lose face publicly, and Eastern Imperials have been known to go to great lengths for much less. Such are your trials and tribulations, my son; there is something to be said about tall trees attracting the wind. Again, his words are filled with pride, because in his eyes, he sees my dangerous enemies as a measurement of my success, which is all sorts of messed up.Hang on. Taking a moment to process everything, my brain finally catches up and I ask, Youre telling me the Legates enemies see my death as an insult?Dad nods, still beaming with pride, and I inwardly curse this world and almost everyone in it. Even the Seneschal, Zhang Jun Bao, might make an attempt on your life, if only at his masters behest with fair warning to us in advance. You taunted and insulted the man repeatedly in front of the Legate and his enemies, so this Solitary Sword would be remiss not to seek vengeance. If he were to make an attempt on your life, it would do much to sell the pretense of your fall from the Legates good graces.Fucking politics. You think you understand, but you dont, not really. No one understands, because theyre all making the rules up as they go. With a sigh of grudging acceptance and jaded discontent, I hug Dad and say, Well, shit. Im glad youre smart enough to pick up on all this. I didnt catch any of it at all. My naive ass thought things would be easier now that I was working with the Legate, but apparently not.Coughing lightly, Dad explains, Your consort Zheng Luo explained most of this to your mother while you were at your meeting with the Legate, and filled in the rest after hearing how things went. Her drive, intelligence, and even her quiet arrogance, she shares much in common with you, boy. She is a good match, so do not treat her so poorly. Shrugging, he smiles and adds, Such is life, my son. You suffer for having eyes larger than your mouth. One wife is all I, your father, can handle, and poorly at that, yet you dream of having five? You have your work cut out for you, for never has there been a wife who was happy to see an idle husband. Enough of your questions now, there is work to be done.Standing aside to let Dad do his thing, I settle back down next to Taduk and sigh. Sometimes, I say, sinking into his warm embrace, I wish Id taken your advice and stuck to being an herbalist instead.Never dwell on regrets. Sitting me up straight and turning me to face him, Taduk looks more serious than Ive ever seen him before. Regrets are poison to the mind and soul, an unending trap of what might have been. Reflect on your mistakes and learn from them, but nothing you do can ever change them, so there is no sense dwelling on maybes and what ifs. Plan for the future, but more importantly, live in the present. Now is the most meaningful moment of all, because now is the only moment you can reasonably affect. For a moment, I almost believe my teacher is speaking logical sense in a subject besides Healing or herbalism, but then he points at his garden and growls, My seeds are missing again. Three of them from that area there. The little rapscallion must have slipped in while I wasnt paying attention, so go poke around and see if you can find any clues.Yes teacher. Smiling despite the urge to sigh some more, I reflect on Taduks advice while combing through the dirt with a borrowed spade. Now is the most meaningful moment of all, because now is the only moment you can reasonably affect. Hes... not wrong. I cant change the past, and I cant predict the future, but my actions now can make up for my mistakes in the past, and can also help shape how the future turns out. So what can I do now? I can make plans for my next step. Bitch at the Legate for starters, so I should get myself an audience with him and see what help he can offer without appearing to offer too much help. I should be more cautious with my actions too, stay close to home instead of traipsing about. Maybe even set a trap or two for would-be assassins, though Ill need to discuss the specifics with Dad later on. Then I -Snapping out of my thoughts, I notice the dirt shuffle ever so slightly before my spade has chance to touch it, and I quickly leap away for fear of erupting mole-rat Demons or Ancestral Beasts. Standing guard before Lin-Lin, Taduk, and my floofs, Im ready to go down fighting with all Ive got, but to my great surprise, nothing bursts out of the ground for once. A good thing too, because Ive had it with these motherfucking mole-rats on this motherfucking planet. Seriously, have some originality please, and send some Fire-Blessed birds or Lightning Blessed rats or something. Enough with the Earth Blessed mole-rats. Weve seen enough of them by now.After sheepishly assuring everyone who came running that I simply overreacted, I cautiously head back to my fallen spade to pick through the dirt. Maybe I was seeing things, or maybe I accidentally shifted some dirt and didnt notice. It didnt just move on its own, it couldnt have, and lets be real, the Defiled can only have so many mole-rat Demons to work with. Theres no way they sent one ALL the way past the Northern Citadel without anyone noticing, because if they could do that, then they could tunnel Defiled tribesman in without anyone noticing and start a panic through all of Central.Digging deeper to reassure myself nothing is going on, I continue at it for a good five minutes before noticing something amiss. How is this hole still the same size? A spade isnt the fastest digging tool, but all my hard work has resulted in a shallow furrow barely big enough to step in. What the hell? Morbid curiosity overcoming my aversion to poop, I remind myself that Taduk never said anything about adding Ancestral Beast poop to the soil here, and that its only an unconfirmed suspicion of mine. Trying not to think too much about it, I set to digging through the dirt with hand and spade, flinging whole swathes aside in an effort to uncover the mystery before me. The furrow grows larger, but at an inexplicably slow pace, as if the dirt here is all compressed and Im just loosening the topsoil, except theres no way thats true. Taduk prepped this entire area for his Spiritual Plant garden, which means at least fifty centimetres of loose soil for roots to grow freely. Calling Taduk over to help, we set to work like crazed maniacs tossing dirt to one side while making no more than a minor dent in the ground. Frustrated beyond compare, I toss my spade aside and plunge both hands deep into the soil and instantly feel something underneath. Grabbing it tight, I yell for Taduk to keep digging, only to uncover the bastard hidden deep within.A chubby, adorable floof with a broad, black nose and the roundest cheeks Ive ever seen.Its a groundhog! I cry, jubilant at having found a new friend, only for the furry little bastard to bark and bite me. Haha, I guess spring is really here.Im not too concerned about the bite. Groundhog teeth are pretty strong, but not meant for rending flesh and bone. Plus Taduks right here, so you can gnaw all you want but Im not letting go. I caught you, so now were best friends forever, my Earth Blessed little buddy.Or I will cook you and serve you to Taduk, so be a good groundhog, okay?Chapter Meme
