Chapter 227: 227. Fighting Your Emotions.
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As soon as she said the words he phone lit up and began to ring. Starled by the sudden buzzing she fumbled at little trying to get it out of her pocket.
Jason.
The caller ID read. Looking up at Jonathan she gave him a weak smile and walked out of the room to take the call.
"Hey, where are you?" She answered with a questioning.
"I'm sorry, I got caught up with work today. Will you be fine going home with Matt? I sent him to get you." He stated.
"Matt? What about you? Are you home?" She asked.
"No, I don't think I'll be able to go home tonight." He replied.
"Then I'll just stay here." She finished.
"Really? Won't you be most comfortable in your bed?" He asked.
She smiled sadly, "I would but I can't even enjoy that. My own bed..." she said sadly.
Jason brows furrowed in confusion. "You can, Matt is coming to get you." He repeated.
"No, not that bed." She laughed dismissively. "Don't worry about me Jason, I'm fine here really. You should go back to work." She said.
"I don't like that you're still there Jessie." He stated firmly.
"Yeah well I like it, and don't you dare force me to leave." She warned.
"I wasn't going to." He pouted through the phone.
"Of course you weren't." She replied with sacarsm.
"I really wasn't, I've learned telling you what to do is never the right approach."
Her brow cocked "really? Since when?"
"It doesn't matter, go to bed I'll be by in the morning." He said.
"Bye."
"Was that Jason?" Jonathan asked from behind her.
She looked behind and nodded. "When is he coming to get you?" He asked and she began to laugh.
"What?" He frowned. "Why are you laughing?"
"I just realized I've never really been independent my entire life, the way you said he was coming to 'get' me. Made it sound like he was responsible for me or something." She said.
Jonathan expression immediately softened when he realized her laughter wasn't coming from amusement but rather sadness. "Do you want to be independent?" He asked.
She stopped laughing and stared intently at him. "I don't think I can." She said honestly.
"Why not? I don't see why not."
"Being independent means being responsible for your actions. As much as I'd love to believe I have what it takes I'm not brave enough to go out there and take responsibility." She sighed. "Today, on the news there are still people in front of my house. And it's hard on my neighbours, it's hard on my fans and it incredibly hard on just... everyone and everything around me."
"I know I should say something at least to get them to back off my agency, well... ex-agency, my house, neighbourhood, just everyone I'm hurting indirectly. But I am scared, I never cared much about people's opinions when I was an actress. But now it's easy to see that it was easy not to because everyone loved me, now that it's the opposite I just want to disappear." She looked up and her eyes met his.
"Then why don't you just disappear? You are innocent, whatever you choose to do will be right either way." He stated.
"I can't!" She blurted out.
"Why?"
"Because I'm confused, on one hand I just want it all to stop. But then I loved what I did, I didn't have friends or close relationships. I didn't know what it meant to love someone so much it hurts, but I loved being an actress. It was like my nature, but I also love this. Being around people that don't owe me, or want anything from me but care deeply for me." She sighed. "What do I do?"
"Is this why you won't tell Jason you love him?" Jonathan asked.
She eyed him and shook her head with a pout. "Did you hear nothing I just said."
"I did, and it all makes sense now. You're scared your are going to want to stay, you're scared Jason is going to make you want to stay." He stated. He scoffed "do you really like him that much?"
She looked away for a moment then back at him. "You promised to back off, I need a friend right now. Can you really not be that?"
"Is that why you chose to stay here? Because you need advise about your love life with Jason?" Jonathan asked.
She bit her lip in annoyance "this isn't about Jason. It's about me, my life and my future."
Jonathan laughed, his laughter full of sacarsm. "You want a friend? Then I'll be honest with you. This isn't about you or your career. This is you fighting your emotions for Jason."
"Why would I do that?" She huffed.
"Don't ask me, you're the one fighting it. You know what please go on, fight it. It only makes me more determined, but don't worry I made a promise. This is as far as I can advise you as a friend. I won't go any further, if you really love Jason as you say then you'll eventually figure it out." He said.
"Why are you being so mean!" She spat.
"This is the only way I know to get you to realise your turmoil." He spat back.
"Then would you just say what you want to already, stop speaking in ciphers!" She ordered.
"I can't do that, just like you I'm not brave enough to do that. How can I give you the answer you need to be happy with my brother?" He asked. "I need to fight for you first before I can give up."
Her mouth opened in both disbelief and annoyance. But she couldn't say anything to him because he was right. She would do the same thing if she was in his shoes, but it didn't make any less annoyed. She huffed angrily before she spun around and walked away, making sure she slammed the door as she did.
Jonathan stared at her with longing as she stormed off. How was it that he only found her more enchanting now she was on her guard around him, only encouraged him to work harder to break down these new walls. He had lost so much to his brother, and he never even cared. But not this time, for whatever reason she fought her emotions for Jason he would find and exploit. Whatever it took, he would make Jessie his.
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As soon as she said the words he phone lit up and began to ring. Starled by the sudden buzzing she fumbled at little trying to get it out of her pocket.
Jason.
The caller ID read. Looking up at Jonathan she gave him a weak smile and walked out of the room to take the call.
"Hey, where are you?" She answered with a questioning.
"I'm sorry, I got caught up with work today. Will you be fine going home with Matt? I sent him to get you." He stated.
"Matt? What about you? Are you home?" She asked.
"No, I don't think I'll be able to go home tonight." He replied.
"Then I'll just stay here." She finished.
"Really? Won't you be most comfortable in your bed?" He asked.
She smiled sadly, "I would but I can't even enjoy that. My own bed..." she said sadly.
Jason brows furrowed in confusion. "You can, Matt is coming to get you." He repeated.
"No, not that bed." She laughed dismissively. "Don't worry about me Jason, I'm fine here really. You should go back to work." She said.
"I don't like that you're still there Jessie." He stated firmly.
"Yeah well I like it, and don't you dare force me to leave." She warned.
"I wasn't going to." He pouted through the phone.
"Of course you weren't." She replied with sacarsm.
"I really wasn't, I've learned telling you what to do is never the right approach."
Her brow cocked "really? Since when?"
"It doesn't matter, go to bed I'll be by in the morning." He said.
"Bye."
"Was that Jason?" Jonathan asked from behind her.
She looked behind and nodded. "When is he coming to get you?" He asked and she began to laugh.
"What?" He frowned. "Why are you laughing?"
"I just realized I've never really been independent my entire life, the way you said he was coming to 'get' me. Made it sound like he was responsible for me or something." She said.
Jonathan expression immediately softened when he realized her laughter wasn't coming from amusement but rather sadness. "Do you want to be independent?" He asked.
She stopped laughing and stared intently at him. "I don't think I can." She said honestly.
"Why not? I don't see why not."
"Being independent means being responsible for your actions. As much as I'd love to believe I have what it takes I'm not brave enough to go out there and take responsibility." She sighed. "Today, on the news there are still people in front of my house. And it's hard on my neighbours, it's hard on my fans and it incredibly hard on just... everyone and everything around me."
"I know I should say something at least to get them to back off my agency, well... ex-agency, my house, neighbourhood, just everyone I'm hurting indirectly. But I am scared, I never cared much about people's opinions when I was an actress. But now it's easy to see that it was easy not to because everyone loved me, now that it's the opposite I just want to disappear." She looked up and her eyes met his.
"Then why don't you just disappear? You are innocent, whatever you choose to do will be right either way." He stated.
"I can't!" She blurted out.
"Why?"
"Because I'm confused, on one hand I just want it all to stop. But then I loved what I did, I didn't have friends or close relationships. I didn't know what it meant to love someone so much it hurts, but I loved being an actress. It was like my nature, but I also love this. Being around people that don't owe me, or want anything from me but care deeply for me." She sighed. "What do I do?"
"Is this why you won't tell Jason you love him?" Jonathan asked.
She eyed him and shook her head with a pout. "Did you hear nothing I just said."
"I did, and it all makes sense now. You're scared your are going to want to stay, you're scared Jason is going to make you want to stay." He stated. He scoffed "do you really like him that much?"
She looked away for a moment then back at him. "You promised to back off, I need a friend right now. Can you really not be that?"
"Is that why you chose to stay here? Because you need advise about your love life with Jason?" Jonathan asked.
She bit her lip in annoyance "this isn't about Jason. It's about me, my life and my future."
Jonathan laughed, his laughter full of sacarsm. "You want a friend? Then I'll be honest with you. This isn't about you or your career. This is you fighting your emotions for Jason."
"Why would I do that?" She huffed.
"Don't ask me, you're the one fighting it. You know what please go on, fight it. It only makes me more determined, but don't worry I made a promise. This is as far as I can advise you as a friend. I won't go any further, if you really love Jason as you say then you'll eventually figure it out." He said.
"Why are you being so mean!" She spat.
"This is the only way I know to get you to realise your turmoil." He spat back.
"Then would you just say what you want to already, stop speaking in ciphers!" She ordered.
"I can't do that, just like you I'm not brave enough to do that. How can I give you the answer you need to be happy with my brother?" He asked. "I need to fight for you first before I can give up."
Her mouth opened in both disbelief and annoyance. But she couldn't say anything to him because he was right. She would do the same thing if she was in his shoes, but it didn't make any less annoyed. She huffed angrily before she spun around and walked away, making sure she slammed the door as she did.
Jonathan stared at her with longing as she stormed off. How was it that he only found her more enchanting now she was on her guard around him, only encouraged him to work harder to break down these new walls. He had lost so much to his brother, and he never even cared. But not this time, for whatever reason she fought her emotions for Jason he would find and exploit. Whatever it took, he would make Jessie his.
As soon as she said the words he phone lit up and began to ring. Starled by the sudden buzzing she fumbled at little trying to get it out of her pocket.Jason.The caller ID read. Looking up at Jonathan she gave him a weak smile and walked out of the room to take the call."Hey, where are you?" She answered with a questioning."I'm sorry, I got caught up with work today. Will you be fine going home with Matt? I sent him to get you." He stated."Matt? What about you? Are you home?" She asked."No, I don't think I'll be able to go home tonight." He replied."Then I'll just stay here." She finished."Really? Won't you be most comfortable in your bed?" He asked.She smiled sadly, "I would but I can't even enjoy that. My own bed..." she said sadly.Jason brows furrowed in confusion. "You can, Matt is coming to get you." He repeated."No, not that bed." She laughed dismissively. "Don't worry about me Jason, I'm fine here really. You should go back to work." She said."I don't like that you're still there Jessie." He stated firmly."Yeah well I like it, and don't you dare force me to leave." She warned."I wasn't going to." He pouted through the phone."Of course you weren't." She replied with sacarsm."I really wasn't, I've learned telling you what to do is never the right approach."Her brow cocked "really? Since when?""It doesn't matter, go to bed I'll be by in the morning." He said."Bye.""Was that Jason?" Jonathan asked from behind her.She looked behind and nodded. "When is he coming to get you?" He asked and she began to laugh."What?" He frowned. "Why are you laughing?""I just realized I've never really been independent my entire life, the way you said he was coming to 'get' me. Made it sound like he was responsible for me or something." She said.Jonathan expression immediately softened when he realized her laughter wasn't coming from amusement but rather sadness. "Do you want to be independent?" He asked.She stopped laughing and stared intently at him. "I don't think I can." She said honestly."Why not? I don't see why not.""Being independent means being responsible for your actions. As much as I'd love to believe I have what it takes I'm not brave enough to go out there and take responsibility." She sighed. "Today, on the news there are still people in front of my house. And it's hard on my neighbours, it's hard on my fans and it incredibly hard on just... everyone and everything around me.""I know I should say something at least to get them to back off my agency, well... ex-agency, my house, neighbourhood, just everyone I'm hurting indirectly. But I am scared, I never cared much about people's opinions when I was an actress. But now it's easy to see that it was easy not to because everyone loved me, now that it's the opposite I just want to disappear." She looked up and her eyes met his."Then why don't you just disappear? You are innocent, whatever you choose to do will be right either way." He stated."I can't!" She blurted out."Why?""Because I'm confused, on one hand I just want it all to stop. But then I loved what I did, I didn't have friends or close relationships. I didn't know what it meant to love someone so much it hurts, but I loved being an actress. It was like my nature, but I also love this. Being around people that don't owe me, or want anything from me but care deeply for me." She sighed. "What do I do?""Is this why you won't tell Jason you love him?" Jonathan asked.She eyed him and shook her head with a pout. "Did you hear nothing I just said.""I did, and it all makes sense now. You're scared your are going to want to stay, you're scared Jason is going to make you want to stay." He stated. He scoffed "do you really like him that much?"She looked away for a moment then back at him. "You promised to back off, I need a friend right now. Can you really not be that?""Is that why you chose to stay here? Because you need advise about your love life with Jason?" Jonathan asked.She bit her lip in annoyance "this isn't about Jason. It's about me, my life and my future."Jonathan laughed, his laughter full of sacarsm. "You want a friend? Then I'll be honest with you. This isn't about you or your career. This is you fighting your emotions for Jason.""Why would I do that?" She huffed."Don't ask me, you're the one fighting it. You know what please go on, fight it. It only makes me more determined, but don't worry I made a promise. This is as far as I can advise you as a friend. I won't go any further, if you really love Jason as you say then you'll eventually figure it out." He said."Why are you being so mean!" She spat."This is the only way I know to get you to realise your turmoil." He spat back."Then would you just say what you want to already, stop speaking in ciphers!" She ordered."I can't do that, just like you I'm not brave enough to do that. How can I give you the answer you need to be happy with my brother?" He asked. "I need to fight for you first before I can give up."Her mouth opened in both disbelief and annoyance. But she couldn't say anything to him because he was right. She would do the same thing if she was in his shoes, but it didn't make any less annoyed. She huffed angrily before she spun around and walked away, making sure she slammed the door as she did.Jonathan stared at her with longing as she stormed off. How was it that he only found her more enchanting now she was on her guard around him, only encouraged him to work harder to break down these new walls. He had lost so much to his brother, and he never even cared. But not this time, for whatever reason she fought her emotions for Jason he would find and exploit. Whatever it took, he would make Jessie his.
