Chapter 354: 354. Because You Are My Best Friend.
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Nothing hurt more than this, no one could understand what it felt like, to feel such fear, such pain, such anxiety. They say when you fall in love, you begin to live. Everything becomes beautiful, everything becomes clearer, suddenly you can see the world, truly see it. You get to learn and understand, have compassion and relate to the chaotic actions people take for irresponsible and illogical reasons. It wasn't as though Jason had not realised all of this, it wasn't as though this was his first hurt, but he felt it all. The beauty he saw that, the world he lived in that. The feeling of completion he felt that. But with that magic comes a mind boggling pain, unspeakable and indescribable, it hurt, it broke, it destroyed.
Yes, love was beautiful. But it was also a door to intensity, you feel everything more intensely when you are in love. Especially when it comes to the source of such happiness. Correct, it only makes sense that the person that give you so much joy, so much happiness would also be responsible for such... hurt. If he could he would die right now just to make it end. He felt so much it was too much. It was too much, even now as he sat in her empty room, filled with all her things, her smell lingered everly, it was as though she never left. It was so full of her yet so empty at the same time. How could he be content with just stuff?
He felt like his anger was eating him from the inside out, his rage consumed each second she remained far from him, he was livid. He hated how he ended things with her, he hated that he continued to hurt her like this. He hated that even though she cried so much because of him still... he would never want to let her go.
Looking around his face gave nothing of his internal turmoil away, nothing, not until the tears began to fall. How could he lie to his heart? He missed her so much and more than that he was angry and livid at the situation. He was scared, he was so afraid that George would cause her irreparable pain, how the hell was he supposed to face her after that? He was supposed to protect her, he was supposed to keep her safe and happy. He made her cry, and now? She was in trouble and even after setting the city on literal fire he got no closer to finding her. He pulled his knees closer to his chest and placed his head on his folded arms as for the first time in years he let himself cry. If he didn't so this, he feared he would die of the fire that seared so furiously in his chest.
"Just where the hell are you, Jessie?"
********************************************************************
"It was a mistake to come here" Katherine muttered, pushing against Paul's strong chest in her struggle to get of his kitchen counter but he wouldn't let her go. "What are you doing? Move!"
Her eyes widened at his blatant refusal, his tightening grip.
"You're not going to move?! Get out of my way!" She yelled, pushing violently against his chest.
Raising his head to meet her eyes he shook his head, "what is going on?" He asked again, his tone as soft as the first time he asked the question.
But it did nothing to calm the fury that burned in the other parties heart, "how is that any of your business? Who are you to care about my personal life!" She screamed, shoving against his chest but his hands only moved to her waist to hold her place.
"Why isn't it my business?! Why shouldn't I know? About you, what is bothering you, of all people. You are my-"
"What? I'm your what? Best friend?" She laughed in rue "that's what you were going to say isn't it? Gosh I hate that word" she spat viciously, blinking back the tears that dampened her lashes.
"I wasn't going to say that" Paul replied quietly.
Katherine expression morphed, from anger to pain, pain and sadness, pain that nurtured and grew, mature and big. Her smile broke his heart, "liar." Was all she said. "Even now, even after that kiss I'm still a friend. Tch... how unfortunate must I be?"
"Why is that unfortunate? Why is being my friend unfortunate? Because you are my friend I love you, because you are my best friend I am willing to walk through hell to have you. Because you are my best friend..." he stopped and said nothing as they both stared into each other eyes, he said nothing until she prompted him.
"What?"
"Because you are my best friend, I can see how scared you are, I can tell how hurt you've been. I know more than anything today, Katherine that you are not okay." He stated firmly, his words curt but his eyes sincere, how could she resist? She hated him, she hated him for hurting her for so long. For making her suffer for so long like that, for not realising her feelings. But most especially she hated him for making her confess her feelings first. But she couldn't even deny it, she only hated him because she loved him.
"Don't change the topic, sure I messed up. And I have plans to make up for it as long as I live but more than anything because you are my best friend I want to comfort you. Even if you won't accept heart right now for the sake of our twenty years, please let me be at least a friend to you." He said.
"You are the last person I want as a friend." She replied frankly, "but I have no one else to go to, so apparently you are my best friend right now, my only friend."
"Devon?" He asked, actually unsure and afraid she would blow up again, but he couldn't help himself he needed to know.
"We broke up."
He was happy, happier but he was her friend so he also comforted her. "Why did you break up? Did he hurt you?"
Katherine shook her head, "it's actually the other way around, I hurt him. The first man to acknowledge me as a woman, I hurt him, like trash I broke his heart." Her words condemned her, she was truly sorry. "I tried, I tried to be happy with him but as annoying as it is to realise" she sniffled, looking up at the ceiling to blink back her tears. "You don't exactly give or take hearts, it just comes to you. Just as my heart has come to you and refused to return."
Paul blinked slowly, watching her quietly as she spoke, she confirmed her love for him. But as happy as it made him, she never said she was willing to he with him, either. "Then? What really is bothering you?"
"Honestly, that. But there's a bigger issue but I'm worried about that the most. Hurting Devon and coming to realise that it would always be you. I hate to admit it but it would always be you, my heart would always go to you" She whispered.
"Katherine-" he reached for her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. Oblivious to the incoming bomb, but he didn't remain so for long, not after her next statement.
"I found my father, no, he found me.." She stated.
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Nothing hurt more than this, no one could understand what it felt like, to feel such fear, such pain, such anxiety. They say when you fall in love, you begin to live. Everything becomes beautiful, everything becomes clearer, suddenly you can see the world, truly see it. You get to learn and understand, have compassion and relate to the chaotic actions people take for irresponsible and illogical reasons. It wasn't as though Jason had not realised all of this, it wasn't as though this was his first hurt, but he felt it all. The beauty he saw that, the world he lived in that. The feeling of completion he felt that. But with that magic comes a mind boggling pain, unspeakable and indescribable, it hurt, it broke, it destroyed.
Yes, love was beautiful. But it was also a door to intensity, you feel everything more intensely when you are in love. Especially when it comes to the source of such happiness. Correct, it only makes sense that the person that give you so much joy, so much happiness would also be responsible for such... hurt. If he could he would die right now just to make it end. He felt so much it was too much. It was too much, even now as he sat in her empty room, filled with all her things, her smell lingered everly, it was as though she never left. It was so full of her yet so empty at the same time. How could he be content with just stuff?
He felt like his anger was eating him from the inside out, his rage consumed each second she remained far from him, he was livid. He hated how he ended things with her, he hated that he continued to hurt her like this. He hated that even though she cried so much because of him still... he would never want to let her go.
Looking around his face gave nothing of his internal turmoil away, nothing, not until the tears began to fall. How could he lie to his heart? He missed her so much and more than that he was angry and livid at the situation. He was scared, he was so afraid that George would cause her irreparable pain, how the hell was he supposed to face her after that? He was supposed to protect her, he was supposed to keep her safe and happy. He made her cry, and now? She was in trouble and even after setting the city on literal fire he got no closer to finding her. He pulled his knees closer to his chest and placed his head on his folded arms as for the first time in years he let himself cry. If he didn't so this, he feared he would die of the fire that seared so furiously in his chest.
"Just where the hell are you, Jessie?"
********************************************************************
"It was a mistake to come here" Katherine muttered, pushing against Paul's strong chest in her struggle to get of his kitchen counter but he wouldn't let her go. "What are you doing? Move!"
Her eyes widened at his blatant refusal, his tightening grip.
"You're not going to move?! Get out of my way!" She yelled, pushing violently against his chest.
Raising his head to meet her eyes he shook his head, "what is going on?" He asked again, his tone as soft as the first time he asked the question.
But it did nothing to calm the fury that burned in the other parties heart, "how is that any of your business? Who are you to care about my personal life!" She screamed, shoving against his chest but his hands only moved to her waist to hold her place.
"Why isn't it my business?! Why shouldn't I know? About you, what is bothering you, of all people. You are my-"
"What? I'm your what? Best friend?" She laughed in rue "that's what you were going to say isn't it? Gosh I hate that word" she spat viciously, blinking back the tears that dampened her lashes.
"I wasn't going to say that" Paul replied quietly.
Katherine expression morphed, from anger to pain, pain and sadness, pain that nurtured and grew, mature and big. Her smile broke his heart, "liar." Was all she said. "Even now, even after that kiss I'm still a friend. Tch... how unfortunate must I be?"
"Why is that unfortunate? Why is being my friend unfortunate? Because you are my friend I love you, because you are my best friend I am willing to walk through hell to have you. Because you are my best friend..." he stopped and said nothing as they both stared into each other eyes, he said nothing until she prompted him.
"What?"
"Because you are my best friend, I can see how scared you are, I can tell how hurt you've been. I know more than anything today, Katherine that you are not okay." He stated firmly, his words curt but his eyes sincere, how could she resist? She hated him, she hated him for hurting her for so long. For making her suffer for so long like that, for not realising her feelings. But most especially she hated him for making her confess her feelings first. But she couldn't even deny it, she only hated him because she loved him.
"Don't change the topic, sure I messed up. And I have plans to make up for it as long as I live but more than anything because you are my best friend I want to comfort you. Even if you won't accept heart right now for the sake of our twenty years, please let me be at least a friend to you." He said.
"You are the last person I want as a friend." She replied frankly, "but I have no one else to go to, so apparently you are my best friend right now, my only friend."
"Devon?" He asked, actually unsure and afraid she would blow up again, but he couldn't help himself he needed to know.
"We broke up."
He was happy, happier but he was her friend so he also comforted her. "Why did you break up? Did he hurt you?"
Katherine shook her head, "it's actually the other way around, I hurt him. The first man to acknowledge me as a woman, I hurt him, like trash I broke his heart." Her words condemned her, she was truly sorry. "I tried, I tried to be happy with him but as annoying as it is to realise" she sniffled, looking up at the ceiling to blink back her tears. "You don't exactly give or take hearts, it just comes to you. Just as my heart has come to you and refused to return."
Paul blinked slowly, watching her quietly as she spoke, she confirmed her love for him. But as happy as it made him, she never said she was willing to he with him, either. "Then? What really is bothering you?"
"Honestly, that. But there's a bigger issue but I'm worried about that the most. Hurting Devon and coming to realise that it would always be you. I hate to admit it but it would always be you, my heart would always go to you" She whispered.
"Katherine-" he reached for her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. Oblivious to the incoming bomb, but he didn't remain so for long, not after her next statement.
"I found my father, no, he found me.." She stated.
Nothing hurt more than this, no one could understand what it felt like, to feel such fear, such pain, such anxiety. They say when you fall in love, you begin to live. Everything becomes beautiful, everything becomes clearer, suddenly you can see the world, truly see it. You get to learn and understand, have compassion and relate to the chaotic actions people take for irresponsible and illogical reasons. It wasn't as though Jason had not realised all of this, it wasn't as though this was his first hurt, but he felt it all. The beauty he saw that, the world he lived in that. The feeling of completion he felt that. But with that magic comes a mind boggling pain, unspeakable and indescribable, it hurt, it broke, it destroyed.Yes, love was beautiful. But it was also a door to intensity, you feel everything more intensely when you are in love. Especially when it comes to the source of such happiness. Correct, it only makes sense that the person that give you so much joy, so much happiness would also be responsible for such... hurt. If he could he would die right now just to make it end. He felt so much it was too much. It was too much, even now as he sat in her empty room, filled with all her things, her smell lingered everly, it was as though she never left. It was so full of her yet so empty at the same time. How could he be content with just stuff?He felt like his anger was eating him from the inside out, his rage consumed each second she remained far from him, he was livid. He hated how he ended things with her, he hated that he continued to hurt her like this. He hated that even though she cried so much because of him still... he would never want to let her go.Looking around his face gave nothing of his internal turmoil away, nothing, not until the tears began to fall. How could he lie to his heart? He missed her so much and more than that he was angry and livid at the situation. He was scared, he was so afraid that George would cause her irreparable pain, how the hell was he supposed to face her after that? He was supposed to protect her, he was supposed to keep her safe and happy. He made her cry, and now? She was in trouble and even after setting the city on literal fire he got no closer to finding her. He pulled his knees closer to his chest and placed his head on his folded arms as for the first time in years he let himself cry. If he didn't so this, he feared he would die of the fire that seared so furiously in his chest."Just where the hell are you, Jessie?"********************************************************************"It was a mistake to come here" Katherine muttered, pushing against Paul's strong chest in her struggle to get of his kitchen counter but he wouldn't let her go. "What are you doing? Move!"Her eyes widened at his blatant refusal, his tightening grip."You're not going to move?! Get out of my way!" She yelled, pushing violently against his chest.Raising his head to meet her eyes he shook his head, "what is going on?" He asked again, his tone as soft as the first time he asked the question.But it did nothing to calm the fury that burned in the other parties heart, "how is that any of your business? Who are you to care about my personal life!" She screamed, shoving against his chest but his hands only moved to her waist to hold her place."Why isn't it my business?! Why shouldn't I know? About you, what is bothering you, of all people. You are my-""What? I'm your what? Best friend?" She laughed in rue "that's what you were going to say isn't it? Gosh I hate that word" she spat viciously, blinking back the tears that dampened her lashes."I wasn't going to say that" Paul replied quietly.Katherine expression morphed, from anger to pain, pain and sadness, pain that nurtured and grew, mature and big. Her smile broke his heart, "liar." Was all she said. "Even now, even after that kiss I'm still a friend. Tch... how unfortunate must I be?""Why is that unfortunate? Why is being my friend unfortunate? Because you are my friend I love you, because you are my best friend I am willing to walk through hell to have you. Because you are my best friend..." he stopped and said nothing as they both stared into each other eyes, he said nothing until she prompted him."What?""Because you are my best friend, I can see how scared you are, I can tell how hurt you've been. I know more than anything today, Katherine that you are not okay." He stated firmly, his words curt but his eyes sincere, how could she resist? She hated him, she hated him for hurting her for so long. For making her suffer for so long like that, for not realising her feelings. But most especially she hated him for making her confess her feelings first. But she couldn't even deny it, she only hated him because she loved him."Don't change the topic, sure I messed up. And I have plans to make up for it as long as I live but more than anything because you are my best friend I want to comfort you. Even if you won't accept heart right now for the sake of our twenty years, please let me be at least a friend to you." He said."You are the last person I want as a friend." She replied frankly, "but I have no one else to go to, so apparently you are my best friend right now, my only friend.""Devon?" He asked, actually unsure and afraid she would blow up again, but he couldn't help himself he needed to know."We broke up."He was happy, happier but he was her friend so he also comforted her. "Why did you break up? Did he hurt you?"Katherine shook her head, "it's actually the other way around, I hurt him. The first man to acknowledge me as a woman, I hurt him, like trash I broke his heart." Her words condemned her, she was truly sorry. "I tried, I tried to be happy with him but as annoying as it is to realise" she sniffled, looking up at the ceiling to blink back her tears. "You don't exactly give or take hearts, it just comes to you. Just as my heart has come to you and refused to return."Paul blinked slowly, watching her quietly as she spoke, she confirmed her love for him. But as happy as it made him, she never said she was willing to he with him, either. "Then? What really is bothering you?""Honestly, that. But there's a bigger issue but I'm worried about that the most. Hurting Devon and coming to realise that it would always be you. I hate to admit it but it would always be you, my heart would always go to you" She whispered."Katherine-" he reached for her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. Oblivious to the incoming bomb, but he didn't remain so for long, not after her next statement."I found my father, no, he found me.." She stated.
